AN: Trigger warnings to many things are present in this story. Don't like, don't read.

I don't own Harry Potter.

All spelling mistakes are my own. There are my own Original Characters in this at times.

Main Relationships: (Hermione/Bellatrix) (Hermione/Narcissa) (Hermione/Andromeda) (Draco/Ginny) (Harry/Lucius) (Others to be added)

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Hermione swallowed audibly as the tension filled the room, her eyes locking onto Narcissa's, her stomach knotting painfully as her mind screamed, I'm so fucked.

She struggled to get the words to come out of her mouth as she watched the hurt flash in Narcissa's eyes. She knew the woman missed their closeness, the way it had been when she was a child. The way she used to seek out Narcissa at every opportunity, whether just to talk or just to sit with her. She missed it too if she were honest with herself, but she still couldn't shake the fact that she was attracted to the married Malfoy Matriarch.

A soft sigh slipped from Narcissa's lips as the woman's body deflated, "Breakfast will be ready soon. As I assume you didn't eat last night, I expect you to be downstairs in five minutes."

Hermione's heart tightened painfully as she watched Narcissa exit her room. She hated the distance between them but knew she was the one to blame for it. She had pulled away at a time where everything in her life was beginning to feel overwhelming. After the Troll on Halloween on her first year she had realized that no one was going to be there to save her all the time. She had to grow up and learn to save herself. She learned not to rely on anyone other than herself even though Narcissa had literally stormed the castle for her.

She shook her head and quickly pulled on a clean pair of Dragon hide pants, the ones from the night before smelling like the heavy cigar and liquor smells from the night before. She rubbed her head and her aching neck, knowing that the woman wasn't able to heal it completely, but at least it didn't feel like sandpaper grating on the back of throat when she swallowed now. Finding the t-shirt that Fenrir had gotten her for Christmas last year, she quickly pulled it on as she made her way barefoot out of her room.

Draco smirked at her as he leaned against the wall near the top of the stairs, waiting for her, "You look like shit 'Mione."

She snorted, "Thanks Draco. You too."

He grunted as they made their way down the stairs, "So, you going to tell me where you were last night?"

She shook her head, rolling her eyes taking too much effort with the pounding headache she was desperately trying to ignore, "Not a chance."

They entered the dining room and found Lucius waiting, reading the current edition of the Daily Prophet. He didn't look up as they took their seats, Draco on his father's left and Hermione next to Narcissa's seat on Lucius's right, "Long night Hermione?"

She smirked across the table at Draco, "Something like that." Her voice was still rough but sounded ten times better than it had earlier in her room with Narcissa.

Lucius chuckled as he folded his paper and tossed it to the center of the table, "I remember doing the same at your age. However, Narcissa was extremely worried about you last night and, while I don't know what happened in room a few minutes ago, she is very upset." His bright green eyes shimmered with concern as he took in the bruise on her neck, and the dark circles under her eyes.

She grimaced and stared down at her plate as the sounds of the house elves bringing in their breakfast met her ears. Suddenly not hungry she shook her head and pushed away from the table, ignoring the even more concerned look coming from the Malfoy men. She made her way slowly back upstairs and into her room, needing the comfort of it.

She hated upsetting Narcissa. She had grown up with the woman's love and affection and while she was well aware this woman wasn't her mother, Narcissa had been the one there to comfort her after a nightmare. To hold her until she fell asleep when she couldn't get her brain to stop thinking about the mother that was in Azkaban. Narcissa had cleaned her injuries when she and Draco were too rambunctious as children, to sooth her pain.

She felt like a total ass for pulling away from Narcissa, for ignoring the growing pain that both she and the older woman were obviously feeling currently. She had no idea how to make it up to Narcissa as she sat on the edge of her bed, staring at her bare feet. Could she even make up for it when she wasn't really sure how to deal with her feelings, or really what her feelings were. She could barely look at the woman without blushing as her uncontrollable dreams came rushing to the front of her mind.

She groaned as her eyes burned with tears, needing the comfort of the woman she always turned to but not knowing how to get it. Hurting Narcissa was never her intention and now she was at a loss on how to fix it. She curled up on her side, on top of the blankets and let the tears flow silently down her face as she stared at the photo of her mother. She had never felt more alone than she did at that moment, and she silently pleaded for her hangover to cloud everything else. For the pain to take her mind off everything else.

She wasn't sure when exactly she had fallen asleep, though she was positive she had cried herself to sleep considering her eyes felt thick and scratchy when she was jerked out of her sleep by the sound of knocking on her door. Draco's voice called through the door, "Hermione, come on. the meeting is getting ready to start and we've been summoned."

She groaned quietly, not wanting to move but knowing Voldemort was not a snake to be kept waiting. She pushed herself up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed as her back popped from sleeping in the same position for hours. She rubbed the sleep from her face before she moved barefoot across the room. Opening the door and finding Draco Malfoy's face practically pressed against the doorframe caused her to chuckle, "Expecting me to not be here?"

Draco shrugged as he followed her down the hallway, "Maybe. Mum's been beside herself with worry but apparently in your sleep you warded the room against all of us."

She frowned, hesitating at the top of the stairs, "I locked everyone out?"

He nodded, taking the stairs slowly, "Or locked yourself in. Depends on how you look at it. Honestly I was starting to worry since you haven't done that since we were six and you had that horrible nightmare." He shook his head, pausing at the bottom of the stairs to look back up at her, his green eyes showing his concern, "I'll never forget the screams that nightmare gave you, nor the way mother looked when she couldn't get to you."

Brow furrowed she watched Draco shrug and continue down the last step before turning into the dining room. Nightmares had plagued her entire childhood; she wasn't denying that but at least she knew why they were there. The night Draco was talking about was one time she didn't know, hadn't understood why, the nightmare had affected her as such. It hadn't happened in years; the nightmare having been held at bay for some unknown reason.

She gripped the banister under her hands as she stared down at the arriving Death Eaters. Most were talking hurriedly, whispering in hopes that their Dark Lord couldn't hear them if he was around. Hermione raised an eyebrow as Narcissa appeared at the bottom of the stairs just as Amycus entered the Manor. The woman's eyes narrowed on her uncle and the man seemed to shrink under her gaze.

"Do you know what happened to your niece?" Narcissa's cold tone reverberated through Hermione's body, freezing her bones in place.

Amycus's eyes darted up to her before he shook his head at Narcissa, "No. I haven't talked to her in a few days."

Hermione cocked her head at her uncle, considering whether or not to let him off the hook, or unleash Narcissa's full wrath on the man. After a moment though she took pity on the guilty look on his face and decided against it. It looked as if he was already punishing himself enough for what happened anyway. She made her way down the stairs, stopping halfway to sit on a step.

Narcissa sighed heavily before noticing she was there, "Hermione come take your seat dear."

Hermione nodded, "I'll be right in. Amycus a moment?" Narcissa eyed them suspiciously for a moment before spinning on her heel, head held high as she gracefully and swiftly swept into the dining room. Hermione watched her go, hoping the woman would forgive her, if she could ever figure out her shit and apologize to the woman.

Amycus sat near the bottom of the staircase, refusing to look at her, "I tried so hard to ignore it, but I can't. This morning proved that."

Hermione nodded, staring at the back of his head, "You were in Azkaban for ten years Amycus. There's bound to be lingering trauma."

Amycus nodded, "I can still hear the screams, the pain of mentally not being strong enough to survive. I always wondered which one was screaming when I would hear it. The way it would send a shiver down my spine, make me think that I wasn't strong enough. That maybe I could fly," he finally turned to look at her. His dark eyes were haunted, the mere memory of the mental torture that any prisoner at Azkaban suffered enough to send him into the dark pit he couldn't find a way out of.

She clenched her teeth tightly, her jaw aching with the pressure. After a moment she nodded, "I've flown before."

His eyes widened, "Hermione?"

She shook her head, "It's not all its cracked up to be and if it wasn't for Narcissa…" She frowned, her eyes darting to her bare feet. She'd never forgive herself for what she had thought she needed to do. For not being strong enough, but that was neither here nor there now. Her eyes snapped back up to her uncle's face, "You survived, and you are here now. Find someone to talk to. There are plenty of our friends in there that know what you went through. That know the pain and the dark thoughts that are still plaguing your mind. Talk. Don't close yourself off."

He scoffed, "Like a teenage girl that plays poker with a group of middle-aged men in the middle of the night?" he raised any eyebrow at her. "Care to tell me why you didn't tell Madame Malfoy who hurt you?"

She smirked at him, pulling herself to her feet, "We're family." She let the word settle between them for a moment before nodding her head once towards the dining room, "Shall we?"

He stood shaking his head at her, "Family yes, but you can't always just brush it off Hermione. It's not good for you."

She shrugged, her mind already switching gears to the meeting, "You handle your shit and I'll handle mine." She took the last few steps quickly and made her way towards the dining room door.

His hand gripped her upper arm tightly and she was jerked around to face him. His face was serious as he stared at her, lowering his voice so no one could hear his next words, "Yet neither one of us are handling our shit at all." She narrowed her eyes at him, clenching her teeth tightly against the bite she wanted to unleash on him.

They stood glaring at one another in silence until a throat being cleared dragged their attention to the large, long table in the center of the room. Voldemort eyed them curiously, his bright crimson eyes darting between the two of them. She glanced back at Amycus and jerked her arm free from his grasp before moving through the room, head held high as she was taught all her life. She took her seat on Voldemort's right, next to Narcissa but refused to meet their eyes. Instead, she glanced across the table and caught Fenrir's raised eyebrow. Shaking her head at the werewolf she focused on Voldemort's words, knowing that something big was coming.

Voldemort's fingers tapped the table gently, nails making a slight scratching noise against the wooden top, "We will be conducting more raids in the week leading up to the new school year. The Order seems to be getting comfortable and I want to stir up the pot. I'm back to full health and I think it's time that we make a move that they aren't expecting."

Lucius's voice was strong and firm, "What do you have in mind my Lord?"

Nagini slithered around her master's shoulders before her head moved towards Hermione. While Hermione had always loved animals, there was something special about Voldemort's snake. She had gravitated towards the creature the moment Voldemort had come to the Malfoy Manor for the first time. Likewise, the snake had curled around Hermione protectively which had shocked Voldemort at first, considering Nagini didn't like anyone other than her master. The snake's head rested gently on Hermione's shoulder, and she found herself smiling softly at it before placing a soft kiss against its nose.

It took her a moment to realize the room was quietly watching her, all smiles and grins aimed at her. She rolled her eyes at the room full of people, "Really?"

Voldemort snorted, "Right. I'm planning something big, but I would like to keep it a secret for the time being. There are a few things I need for some of you to do in the meantime."

Hermione smirked at him, her hand lazily grazing Nagini's head, "A distraction."

Voldemort smiled at her and nodded, "As most of you know the Ministry wants to ignore the fact that I have returned. Due to the…" He curled his lip up in a snarl, "Events, of last school term it has been proven that Hogwarts is no longer safe for our young family." His crimson eyes darted to Hermione.

Hermione frowned down at her lap, her hands tightening into fists. It wasn't as if she asked to be sent into the Goblet of Fire. When Potter's name had been called, she had frozen like everyone else since he was only fourteen at the time. But then her name fell from Dumbledore's lips, and she knew something else was at play. She was a Slytherin and yet she continuously found herself being put with Gryffindors. There was only one Gryffindor that she could remotely stand and even she was someone that Hermione figured should have been put into Slytherin.

She couldn't deny the excitement that had crept up on her at the prospect of being in the first Triwizard tournament in years, but that was quickly depleted right before the first task. Dumbledore hadn't even told Narcissa or Lucius about it and she had never been more grateful for Draco in the hour leading up to the first task. He had quickly owled his parents, which she was surprised it hadn't been a howler by the frantic tone of his letter.

Hermione had neve been more relieved nor happy to see Narcissa walk through that curtain, ignoring the dark glare that Harry had sent to the Malfoy's. She had thrown her arms around the woman's neck without thinking and tried to stop the impending panic attack that had started rushing forward. When Narcissa's arms had wrapped protectively around her torso she knew she would have the strength to survive the Dragons.

The entire event itself had been tiring, painful and emotionally draining. She had been forced to help Harry in the second task, mainly because she refused to leave Draco chained to the bottom of the lake. However, Harry had refused to leave Ron and Cho, and Gabrielle, Fleur's sister. The Grindylow's had other plans and she and Harry nearly drowned, which if she hadn't been the brightest witch of their age, they would have. When her head broke the surface of the water and they landed on the docks, she had never been more grateful for the fresh cold air that was being sucked into her lungs. Narcissa's hands were the first on her and she could hear the woman's threats being hurled at Dumbledore with unwavering accuracy.

She had never seen Narcissa more terrified than when Hermione looked up at her one last time before stepping into the maze. Little did she know how that night would play out. She hadn't actually meant to kill Cedric but when it came down to him or her, there was no choice. Voldemort had been more than please with her use of the Killing Curse, the way she had cast it with a sureness that only came from experience. She had commanded that Curse as if she had been the one to create it and it had thrilled him to no end as they stood side by side. Harry and Voldemort's wands having connected while Cedric shouted at her that he knew all along that she was a Death Eater. She would have laughed if it hadn't been a life-or-death moment, but then again, she did chuckle as the boy tried to send a volley of hexes at her and she blocked everyone of them.

Voldemort told her later that she had been the spitting image of her mate, cackling with laughter as she toyed with the pathetic boy, even missing a few blocks to give the boy the appearance of making headway. Right before he aimed at Voldemort and she lost her temper, hitting him with the Killing Curse without a second thought. Harry had been too preoccupied with Voldemort to notice she was the one to kill their fellow classmate, so when he ran for the cup and shouted for her to follow, she only took once glance at Voldemort before sprinting after him to take the portkey back to Hogwarts. She had staggered to her feet as Potter had cried over the dead boy, her eyes searching tiredly for Narcissa. Once they made eye contact the pain from Cedric's hexes and jinxes clouded her mind and all noise faded away.

A soft hand wrapping around her tight fists caused her to jump slightly and she looked over at Narcissa. The woman's deep blue eyes were watching her with concern, almost as much as she had seen in Narcissa's eyes that night Voldemort had returned. She swallowed the emotion that was quickly forming a lump in her throat, knowing she wouldn't be able to put them into words. She shook her head at the woman, unable to form a smile, before she returned to petting Nagini, though she did not release Narcissa's hand and only tightened her grip.

A few hours later the meeting ended, and Voldemort turned to her, "I'd like a moment Hermione."

She nodded silently and remained seated as everyone else hurried out of the room. The Malfoy's and her uncle giving her a concerned look before the door closed behind them, leaving her alone with the Dark Lord.

Voldemort sat back in his seat, his eyes watching her curiously, "Narcissa told me about your injuries and the fact you wouldn't tell her what happened. If you are in trouble, you know Narcissa, and I will do anything we can to help."

She frowned at him, "I'm fine Sir."

He frowned at her, "Hermione, Narcissa thinks something has been wrong for a while. Once a month you disappear, although not for as long as you did this last time. Then you act as if nothing happened. We're worried about you."

She grimaced, standing from her seat, "Everyone needs to stop worrying. Nothing is wrong with me."

She felt the frustration growing because she knew she was lying. There was something wrong, but she couldn't put it to words, couldn't figure out how to voice her sudden uncomfortableness around the one person in the world she needed. The one person that had always been there for her. That had never turned her away, never treated her any different than her own flesh and blood. It had become increasingly obvious that she was missing something in her life. Her mother and her mate, two people that she couldn't even remember aside from the photos on her bedside table were noticeably absent from her Triwizard Tournament dangers.

She stood in front of the large window, staring out at the cloudy sky, knowing a storm was brewing across the land. She couldn't stop thinking about how she had wanted her mother to be there, to be the one that worried about her. Or that her mate should have been the first one to reach her. She loves Narcissa more than anything, but it wasn't the same, not that she would ever admit to the dreams, fantasy's that entered her mind about Narcissa at the most inopportune times. It was all so confusing, and she was beginning to think that she was using Narcissa in place of her mate, which didn't help the situation. She rubbed her temple as the pounding of a headache began to approach, too much thinking always gave her a headache.

She had forgotten that Voldemort was even in the room until his soft voice sounded behind her, "I can see something troubling you Hermione. Narcissa is worried and Lucius is beginning to get grey hairs."

Hermione snorted a laugh, feeling the tightness in her chest ease slightly, "The man has been dying his grey hair for years."

Voldemort chuckled, easing some of the thick tension in the room. As he quieted, he sighed, "Talk to Narcissa Hermione. She thinks you are pushing only her away. That she did something wrong."

She frowned at the dark billowing clouds, "Narcissa is the only thing that makes sense at times." She sighed as she stared outside, not knowing what to do or how to go about it. She didn't want to keep hurting the woman, but she wasn't sure what she should do about it. Voldemort's hand on her shoulder startled her but she didn't move away from him, instead forcing herself to remain still under his comforting gaze.

"I can understand that, just as much as I can understand that you're hurting. You are a teenage girl that doesn't have her mother to help her understand the way the wizarding world works. You only have the word of those around you but it's not the same." His crimson eyes softened even more before he turned to look out the window, "You may not be in an orphanage as I was, but you still feel the same. For us it's not easy for us to put our feelings into words because we think no one will care or we don't want to bother those that might, so we don't scare them away."

She blinked a few times as the ruthless Dark Lord put her feelings into words, words that had escaped her for so long. She raised an eyebrow at him, "When did you get so wise?"

He snorted a his between his teeth as Nagini wrapped around his shoulders, "I have my moments."

She smirked at the window, "Could have fooled me."

His eyes narrowed at her as he glared at her sideways, "I'll remember that Madame Black."

She scoffed, "I'm not married."

"You will be soon if I have anything to say about it." He turned from her and moved towards the doors across the room.

She frowned at his retreating form, "What the bloody hell does that mean?"

He smirked at her over his shoulder, "Plans Hermione. Plans. I'll see you soon, before you return to school. Do try to keep Draco out of trouble."

She narrowed her eyes at him, crossing her arms over her chest, "I'm not his keeper."

He flung the doors open, "You are the oldest, meaning it is your job. Take pride in that dear." With that he disappeared with Nagini on his heels.

She grimaced at the doorway, as if it had been the thing to leave her confused and with more questions than answers. She growled under her breath and turned back to the window, watching the lightning light up the sky before the rain began to fall. While she was thankful for the man's advice she could do without his cryptic wisdom that would leave her overthinking for the next few days. Why he had to be so damn cryptic was beyond her but now her mind was stuck on repeat, replaying his words so she could try to make sense of them.

"Hermione?" Narcissa's soft voice called from the doorway, gentle so as not to startle her. She glanced over at the woman, seeing the hesitation and hurt in the blue depths, "Come eat darling."

She watched Narcissa leave quietly, knowing in her heart that she needed to make things right before she went back to school. she could only imagine the distance and uncomfortableness that would fester and grow while she was away at school if she didn't try to fix this now. She took a deep breath and looked back outside once more, still not knowing how she was going to approach the woman. She shook her head, needing to let it go for the rest of the night before she drove herself insane with possibilities. Making her way towards the kitchen she promised herself she would try to apologize and voice her emotions to Narcissa before she returned to school.