AN: Trigger warnings to many things are present in this story. Don't like, don't read.

I don't own Harry Potter.

All spelling mistakes are my own. There are my own Original Characters in this at times.

.

.

Hermione stood at the table in the White Wyvern's back room. The last poker night before they returned to school had been eventful, yet less drinking had taken place. They all wanted to spend the evening with Hermione before she left for the term. She was grateful for her friends, even if they were grown men. They treated as one of the boys, as an equal and it was the only thing she had ever wanted. Fenrir had been watching her worriedly most of the night and when she had finally asked him what his problem was, he had confirmed what she had suspected.

Narcissa had become increasingly worried about her, asking the people she talked to the most to keep an eye on her. Narcissa didn't elaborate about why they should keep an eye on her, but Fenrir had picked up on her underlying concern. Hermione had rolled her eyes at him and told him she was fine and that Narcissa was worrying for nothing. It was the first time she had talked to Fenrir since last month and had to explain to him about Amycus's mishap when she had tried to wake him.

So, the first ten minutes of the night she had spent trying to talk Fenrir out of killing Amycus.

Once the game got underway everyone relaxed and fell into their usual banter and gossip whoring. Now they were all gathering their items to leave, an early night since she still had yet to talk to Narcissa in the last month and she was quickly running out of time. She and Draco were due to return to Hogwarts in a weeks' time and she still hadn't told the woman what was going on in her mind. She wrapped her black cloak around her shoulders and fastened it at her neck, her mind lost in thought.

A loud boom shook the room and all of them jumped, startled at the sudden noise. Fenrir pulled his wand from his holster, motioning to the others to follow suit. She was still underage, but her wand was firmly attached to her forearm, in the holster that had once belonged to her mate. Narcissa had given it to her as a gift when she had first gotten her wand.

Another loud boom echoed through the room causing dust to shift from the ceiling. Fear coiled in her chest, tightening her stomach as the boom grew louder. She stood next to Fenrir as they stared at the door, curious yet terrified at the same time. Finally, the door burst open, and they came face to face with members of the Order. Her eyes narrowed in anger at the people who decided to interrupt their night.

Arthur Weasley raised his wand at them, "Lower your wands."

Fenrir snarled angrily, "You burst in here and start demanding things, that's not how it works."

Kingsley Shacklebolt pointed his wand directly at Fenrir's chest as he entered the room, "We won't ask again."

Hermione placed her hand on Fenrir's wrist, "Now, now. We've done nothing wrong." She forced herself into a blank mask, hiding the fear she felt twisting her insides, her voice dipping into a sickly-sweet innocent tone, "What do we owe the pleasure of the Order of the Phoenix members slumming it with the likes of us snakes?"

Arthur Weasley eyed her carefully, "Hermione are you alright?"

She couldn't stop the anger from flashing in her eyes and the dark smirk pulling at the corner of her lips, "I'm not the one among enemies, Arthur."

Weasley's eyes danced with anger as his face began to turn red, matching his hair, "There has been a mass breakout from Azkaban. You wouldn't know anything about that now, would you?"

Shock widened her eyes but that was the only sign she gave, "We have been here all evening, right boys?" The men around her shifted closer to her, all voicing their affirmative. She looked back at the two Order members, "Hard to see escaped prisoners when we were knee deep in conversation the whole night. In this room with no windows." She motioned around her, refusing to let these men see her fear, "In fact we were just leaving, so if you don't mind." She pointed towards the door, "You're blocking our exit."

Arthur's eyes narrowed on her, but Kingsley lowered his wand, "You'd do wise to be careful Hermione. You don't keep the best company."

She grimaced, recognizing the words she had heard once before. She couldn't stop the snap of anger that escaped her lips, "I'll decide what company I want to keep for myself, Shacklebolt. Let's go boys." She moved forward, knowing the others were following her closely.

Once they were standing in Knockturn Alley Fenrir placed a hand on her shoulder, "Well done Hermione."

She could still feel the rage boiling just under the surface, "We're being watched. Let's all separate and then meet back at the Manor. We'll find out what's going on then."

Nods in her direction were all she got as her friends quickly dispersed, Fenrir the only one to stay with her, "We'll be safer together. Let's head back to Diagon Alley. We can grab a paper on the way."

She nodded and walked beside Fenrir, their eyes scanning the area around them as they moved. She could feel eyes on her even as her mind raced with the news that prisoners had escaped. She lowered her voice as they neared Diagon Alley, "Do you think this is what he was talking about? The plans?"

Fenrir glanced at her and nodded, "I do. I don't think he would have done it if he knew you weren't at the Manor though. He's going to pissed that you're caught out here during this mess."

She opened her mouth to respond, but the loud high-pitched voice of a woman made her head spin, "You! You knew about this didn't you! You are just as responsible!"

Hermione frowned as she glanced back at Fenrir, his shock evident before his words came out as a growl, "Get bent."

Hermione snorted but the sound was lost as a hex flew towards Fenrir's back. She moved before she thought about her actions, needing to save her friend. The hex slammed into her shoulder, knocking her off her feet. Grunting as she landed on her back, her eyes closed tightly against the hot pain that cascaded through her shoulder and down her arm. Fenrir's growl shook the ground as he whipped his wand out and shot a curse at the woman that had hit Hermione with a hex.

Hermione lurched to her feet and gripped his shoulder, "Stop. We have to get back." She could feel the warm liquid running down her arm, knowing that the hex that had hit her was something dangerous, something that the Order claimed they never used. Riiight, she mentally rolled her eyes. She ignored the pain and the tickling sensation of her own blood running down her arm as she pulled Fenrir towards the Leaky Cauldron, "It's not worth it."

He shook his head, sheathing his wand and hurried after her, "You were the one hit and you're telling me to stay calm." He shook his head at her with a chuckle.

She nodded as they entered the Leaky Cauldron, "We're being followed. It's what they want. For us to act and them to claim they were defending innocent people. It's why they barged in the way they did. They wanted to ruffle our feathers, in the hopes of us acting irrationally." She stepped into the fireplace, turning to see Weasley and Shacklebolt watching them suspiciously.

Fenrir snarled angrily at them as he dropped the handful of floo powder at their feet, "Malfoy Manor."

Hermione didn't contemplate the sudden nausea that usually accompanied a trip by floo in combination with her wound. She tumbled from the fireplace as the wave of bile rushed up her throat and she quickly sprinted towards the restroom around the corner near the Malfoy library. She couldn't hear Narcissa's worried voice as she vomited, the blood rushing through her ears as the pain in her shoulder increased tenfold. Sweat broke out across her forehead, causing her body to shiver violently as she gasped for breath. She gripped the sink edge tightly as she struggled to slow her breathing once she was done, then rinsed her mouth with cool water. Noise began to slowly creep back into her ears, and she could shouts echoing around the Manor as people rushed through the rooms.

When she finally stepped out of the restroom, she found Fenrir waiting for her, "You okay?"

She grimaced at him, "What's all that noise?"

Fenrir frowned at her, seeing the pain flaring brightly in her hazel eyes, "This has become Headquarters. The prisoners are coming here."

She leaned against the wall, letting her flushed face cool, "How many?"

Fenrir shrugged, "Probably the best of the best, so a lot. I think I saw Rodolphus Lestrange slink into the dining room before I followed you. You sure you're okay?"

She felt the dizzying light headedness trying to encompass her, "I need Narcissa." She pushed off the wall and moved through the living room, looking for the Malfoy Matriarch. She could hear the woman's voice coming from the dining room and pushed her way passed the mass of people that were piling into the room. It was the most honest she was being with herself at the moment. She didn't want anyone else to touch her, to comfort her, to heal her. She wanted Narcissa. Narcissa's arms around her, soothing her with soft words the way she used to.

Narcissa was standing near Voldemort, hands on her hips, "I don't know where she is! You should have checked first."

Voldemort's eyes glowed dangerously with his anger, "She wasn't supposed to be anywhere but here. If I had known I never would have put my plan into motion. There are already reports of fights going on. Crabbe and Goyle were seen battling with an Order member twenty minutes ago."

Hermione leaned against Fenrir as she felt her body trying to shut down, blood loss starting to affect her. "A little warning would have been nice," she snapped without thinking. All eyes landed on her pale face, the sweat on her forehead glistening in the bright light of the dining room.

Narcissa gasped, "Hermione!"

Voldemort's eyes widened as he took in the blood on the girl's light grey shirt, "What happened?"

Fenrir grimaced, "We were attacked in Diagon Alley. Well, I was the target but Hermione…" He frowned as the girl slumped even more against him, "Never mind."

Narcissa rushed forward and Hermione couldn't help but fall into the woman's arms, "Cissy?"

Narcissa's strong warm arms wrapped around her tightly, filling her cold body with warmth, "I'm here honey. I've got you."

Hermione began to fade in and out and knew it wouldn't be long before she passed out, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

Narcissa shook her head, blue eyes pleading with her to stay calm, "Shh, we'll talk later."

Hermione shook her head, struggling to stay awake, wanting to fall into the warmth that Narcissa was providing her, "I have to tell you… I can't…" She shook her head against the fuzziness, "I need you…" she mumbled as her vision faded, "Don't leave me… Please…" She tried to clutch Narcissa tighter, but the darkness quickly consumed her.

.

.

A sharp shooting pain ripped through Hermione's shoulder causing her to gasp as she awoke, the rudest awakening she'd had in years. At least since the first time Draco had pounced on her when they were children. Cool hands were suddenly on her chest, causing her to notice that she didn't have a shirt on. She groaned in pain and used her left hand to clutch at the arm pinning her to the mattress, "Narcissa?" Her mind was fuzzy, a dull ache settling not only in her body but her mind.

The woman's soothing voice in her ear calmed her, "I'm here darling. Just relax."

She clutched at the woman's wrist tighter, "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for dear." Narcissa's soothing calm tone made her heart quicken.

She shook her head against the pillow, feeling her emotions beginning to overwhelm her, "I do. Cissy I'm so sorry. Please don't leave me. I've missed you. I didn't mean to push you away." She couldn't stop the words that spilled from her lips without a filter, a panic filling her body that she couldn't explain, "At first I thought you didn't care. It was painful but I understood. Draco is your son, I'm just someone that fell into your lap." She could feel sweat slipping down her back, her body shivering violently.

The bed shifted beside her, "Honey of course I care." Narcissa's breath tickled her ear even as her voice was low and still soothing but there was a hint of hurt in her tone.

Hermione shivered again, this time not from the cool air on her sweaty body, "I know. It became a 'I don't want to bother you' because I didn't want to lose you. I thought I could deal with my feelings on my own. That I could figure out what I was feeling on my own, but it was only more confusing." Exhaustion was pulling at her mind quickly and she struggled to form coherent thoughts, "I can't lose you… Like I've lost everything else… You're the one bright thing in my life right now."

Lips pressed against her cheek, catching the tears that she didn't even realize were falling unhindered, "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. Sleep Hermione, I'll be here when you wake."

Thick emotion was covering Narcissa's words and Hermione couldn't help but fight the waves of pain and exhaustion that threatened to claim her, "I'm so, so sorry." She whispered as her tears fell harder, "Please…"

Arms wrapped around her tightly and she was eased into Narcissa's warm body, "Shh my little one. I'm not leaving you." The slow rocking motion that Narcissa began slowly eased Hermione into a forced sleep.

.

.

Hermione didn't believe that Narcissa was going to be there when she awoke again. The idea mixed with the dream she had was a confirmation of her worst fears. However, when she opened her eyes slowly, she smiled tiredly at Narcissa's peaceful looking face resting on the same pillow as her. The woman's long blonde hair draped across the pillow as if it were a halo of light behind her. Without thinking she lightly traced her finger down the side of the woman's face, feeling the warm smooth skin beneath her fingertips.

She could feel the heat radiating from the older woman's body, reaching into her own body to sooth and comfort. Narcissa's arms were still around her, one resting on the center of her chest heavily in the woman's sleep. Her body ached from sleeping in one position too long, and her shoulder was on fire. She eased her body out from under the woman's hold, biting her lip against the pain movement caused, before making her way towards the bathroom. She wasn't sure how long she had been out but the protesting her body was making as she moved was a staggering warning. Once she was finished using the restroom she eased under the hot water of the shower. Her shoulder was bruised and looked worse for wear but at least Narcissa was able to close the wound and reverse the hex that had been used. She washed her hair with one hand, struggling with shampoo in annoyance for a few minutes before finally getting the bottle open.

Thirty minutes later she shut the water off and pulled the curtain back, jumping in startlement as she came face to face with Narcissa, "Fuck Cissa. Give me a heart attack."

Narcissa held the thick fluffy towel up, helping her from the tub before wrapping the warm cloth around her body, "Now you know how I felt when I awoke, and you weren't in bed with me."

She frowned, her body still stiff as Narcissa began to dry her gently, "I'm sorry. I was in one position too long and I had to use the bathroom."

Narcissa nodded, her eyes completely focused on what she was doing, "You should have woken me."

Hermione shook her head, "You need sleep too. I'm sure you didn't get much while I was out. How long was I out exactly?"

Narcissa's blue eyes met hers, the deep sadness in them reaching into her soul, "Two days. I haven't left your side for a single moment."

Hermione frowned, hoping what she thought was a dream was actually a dream, "Please tell me I was fully out the whole time."

Narcissa shook her head, "Why didn't you come to me sooner? Why didn't you tell me how you're feeling?" The older woman paused in her motions, wrapping her arms around Hermione so she couldn't move.

Hermione swallowed thickly, feeling the woman's warmth against her bare torso, noticing that even the shower hadn't warmed her the way Narcissa could. She frowned as she glanced down with a heavy sigh, "I told you why. I didn't want to bother you with my petty teenage emotions."

Narcissa's fingers gripped her chin tightly, forcing her to look into her eyes, "They are not petty teenage emotions. I want to know exactly how your feeling, when you are feeling it. Hermione…" Narcissa's eyes darkened slightly, a surge of anger passing through the blue, "Do you not trust me?"

Hermione's eyes widened, her heart thundering in her chest, "Of course I do Narcissa. I have always trusted you."

"Then why didn't you come to me?" Narcissa's voice softened to a whisper, as if she were holding back her own emotion.

Hermione's heart broke slightly at the tone, the sadness etched on the older witch's face causing her breath to catch in her throat. She hated hurting the woman and she knew once she started speaking, she wouldn't be able to stop, though she wasn't sure she was ready for it, Narcissa looked like she needed the pure honesty at the moment. She took a deep breath before speaking, "Can we go sit while we talk?"

As if realizing that Hermione was still naked and injured, Narcissa guided her back into the bedroom before pulling her favorite Dragon hide pants out of the wardrobe. Hermione couldn't help the small smirk on her lips as the woman gathered her favorite loose clothing, knowing that the Malfoy Matriarch always preferred them all to dress up no matter the occasion. She let Narcissa help her dress, mainly because she needed it, but also because she wanted the woman's help. She wanted the woman's hands on her skin, to feel the care that Narcissa always gave to her willingly.

Once she was dressed, she sat stiffly on the bed cross-legged and waited for Narcissa. The woman quickly gathered her dirty clothes and tossed them in the hamper before sitting on the side of the bed, facing her, "Talk."

Hermione frowned down at her hands as she began to fidget, an annoying habit that she had picked up at an early age. Narcissa always blamed Bellatrix and Alecto for it, which always made her smile proudly. Narcissa's hands covered hers after the silence had gone on for a few minutes and she found herself beginning to play with the woman's soft fingers as her jaw worked.

"After the troll episode I thought it was a one-time thing. I thought that would be the end of it but then Harry and Ron cornered me on the staircase, and I was too curious to not join them with Quirrell. I thought I was becoming an inconvenience. You were always at Hogwarts for me instead of Draco and I felt guilty that I was requiring more attention than your own son." She frowned at down at their hands as Narcissa laced their fingers together, "Then third year, when Sirius escaped and Snape caught me fighting with Harry and Ron at the shrieking shack, he said something about me being too much like a Black, being too much like you. I started having…"

She grimaced and looked away from the woman, her blood rushing through her ears, "Dreams… About you… About us and I…" She shivered slightly before quickly pulling away from Narcissa, standing to pace the room as her thoughts ran away from her.

Narcissa sat in silence for a moment before a smile crossed her face, "Sexual dreams?"

Hermione groaned, feeling her face heat with the blush she knew was covering her pale skin. She couldn't look at the woman, refused to let her hormonal brain ruin the tender atmosphere they were in.

Hands gripped her shoulders and turned her around, forcing her to look into Narcissa's eyes as the woman spoke, "Hermione, we have taught you the ways of Pureblood traditions."

She nodded, "Yes but…"

Narcissa shook her head, "No buts. We are family and I care about you. I love you Hermione. I would never put you in an uncomfortable situation."

Hermione nodded, guilt slipping through her chest cavity like molasses.

Narcissa pulled her tighter against her body, locking her arms around her neck, "Hermione I hated that you were pulling away from me. That I thought I was losing you. You have no idea how much that terrified me. Draco is my son, yes but he has both his father and I. You and Lucius make better friends. I will always be here for you, to love you, to comfort you. To hold you when things are too overwhelming, and you can't stop the voices in your head."

Hermione felt the tears fall without permission as she rested her hands on the woman's hips, needing to feel her. To know that this was real and not something she was dreaming up. Narcissa was grounding her, keeping her in one piece even as she tore her down emotionally. The woman's heat radiated through her fingertips and up her arms as they stood together in the quiet room.

Narcissa smiled at her softly, blue eyes dancing with relief and Hermione couldn't help but continue, "I care about you more than I thought I should. I found myself missing you at every moment and I couldn't figure out why. I didn't want to bother you because I didn't want to scare you away. I feel like I'm using you in place of my mate, who I don't even remember. Hell, I don't even remember my own mother." She felt the vice grip on her heart tighten as the truth burst from her and she felt even more guilty than before.

Narcissa pulled her into an embrace, kissing her temple before speaking softly, "I'm sorry honey. I know it's been hard all these years. I thought your nightmares had left but Draco says you have them at school."

Hermione nodded against her chest, "It's at those times that I miss you the most. I want to be wrapped in your warmth, but I know I can't, so I push through on my own."

Narcissa pulled back to look her in the eyes, "No more. You send an Owl, and I will be there. No more holding back and no more keeping things from me. I can't lose you Hermione." The full weight of Narcissa's fear broke through her deep blue iris's, "I thought I was losing you and then I almost did." A soft gasp ripped from Narcissa's lips as a tear rolled down her smooth cheek. She shook her head, "I can't lose you Hermione. Last year at the tournament was torture and having it happen this close to home now was too much."

Hermione nodded, "I'm sorry. I didn't thing this was going to happen."

Narcissa cupped her face gently, "You scared the hell out of me Hermione. I promise to never leave you if you promise to never leave me."

Hermione nodded instantly, "I promise Narcissa. I won't go anywhere again."

Narcissa eyed her for a moment before she moved. Hermione closed her eyes as the woman's soft lips brushed against her own. It was more than she had ever imagined it would be. Her body heated, her breath quickened, and the blood rushed through her ears painfully fast. Her heart swelled with love for the woman that has always been there for her. Everywhere their skin touched tingled excitedly as a brush of lips became a firm press. Hermione fisted Narcissa's dress in her hands on her hips, not wanting to lose the connection to the woman.

After a moment Narcissa rested her forehead against Hermione's, "Please don't pull away again."

Hermione nodded, a weight having been lifted from her chest, "I promise. I'll write you every few days when we're at school."

Narcissa nodded, "Hermione, the breakout at Azkaban. The Dark Lord went above and beyond."

She pulled back from the older woman, her breathing quickening, "They aren't…. They can't be…" She felt the tears spill freely.

Narcissa shook her head quickly, pulling Hermione tight against her again, "No honey. They are alive. In fact, they are being treated by healers from St. Mungo's right now."

Hermione frowned as she pulled back slightly, "We have to be at Hogwarts in three days."

Narcissa frowned but nodded, "You'll be gone before they get home."

Hermione turned away from Narcissa, her eyes staring at the photos on her bedside table. She hated that she was going to miss them, after all this time. It wasn't fair but she could only hope they stayed safe while she was at school. She frowned, "May I write them?"

Narcissa wrapped her arms around Hermione from behind, resting her chin on the slightly shorter girls uninjured shoulder, "Of course. You'll have to send it to me with wards, but I'll make sure they get it."

She nodded; her eyes still glued to the smiling faces of her photos. She couldn't wait to meet her mother. To meet her mate, whom had a reputation for being off her rocker. She didn't care even if Bellatrix was crazy after fourteen years in Azkaban. The woman was hers and hers alone, and she'd kill anyone that tried to take the woman from her.

So maybe I have a possessive side, she thought, raising an eyebrow at the photos.