Chapter 15: First Run

When she arrived back at Charlie's house it was to chaos, as Charlie ranted and raved about the stupidity of teenagers and such. He yells and screams about how he was going to kill someone named Edward. Sue Clearwater was in the kitchen with him trying to calm him down. She was losing the fight by the sound of it.

She walks into the kitchen, unaware of exactly why Charlie was so angry. And Charlie snaps at her, "Where the hell have you been?!" His tone made her eyes widen, shock clear on her face, Charlie never spoke to her like that before.

She didn't answer fast enough for him as he stomp over to her, shaking with anger, "Well, missy?"

"Charlie this isn't her fault," Sue says next to him.

Charlie face going even darker red if that was possible and screams, "Yes, it is! It's everyone's fault. And I want you out now."

What was going on here? Why was Charlie so angry at her? She knew she was walking in rather late at 11 pm but she was 20 years old now, while past this kind of treatment, and Charlie made it clear what the house rules were, and this was not one of them.

"What is going on?" she asks Sue, hoping her had an answer as Charlie storms off to do God knows what.

"Bella is missing," Sue informs her.

"What?!"

"She's not missing. She left to go get Edward or something," Sue clarifies.

"Where is she?"

"Jake said she left with one of the Cullens," Sue says. "They left for—I think Europe."

"She left with a vampire," she whispers back furiously. Sue nods, her eyes darkening with understanding. "What the hell is she thinking?"

"I have no idea and putting Charlie through this is unacceptable," Sue says back. She needed to help Charlie somehow. Sue was right this was selfish and mean to do to Charlie. He was so understanding to her, he only wanted to see Bella happy and smile every once in a while, and she couldn't even bring herself to do that much. Now she flew off to God knows were with a vampire.

"What is she doing with the Cullens," she asks but then she remembers what the others said. "It's that vampire that she got involved with, isn't it?!"

Sue nods as Charlie storms into the kitchen throwing two bags at her and saying, "Get out now!"

She looks down at the grocery bags he just through at her, they were filled with her clothes and few things she collected the past few months. He was really kicking her out. She looks up at his angry face, his eyes are unyielding, but she can see the pain too, behind it all. He was angry and afraid, lashing out at those who only wanted to help. But she wasn't going to be mad at Charlie, this was the vampire's fault.

"Charlie, I kn-," she tries but Charlie just picks up the bags and pushes her to the door. She doesn't resist or use her shifter strength against him. She knew that was wrong to do against a human, it was one of her grandmother's laws.

Sue is right there though push Charlie away from her and says, "Charlie you are not being fair!" But Charlie pushes her out the door too, slamming it. Sue turns to her after a failed attempt to open the door saying, "You can stay with me tonight." Sue tries one more time to get Charlie to answer, but it's no use. Sue looks close to tears, but she was a strong woman with a shifter as a daughter, she could see where Leah got her strength from.

Sue drives her to her house, saying all the way that Charlie would be ok, he just needed time, and that he wouldn't do anything stupid. She felt that Sue was reassuring herself more than her. They arrive to see Leah arguing with Paul. Leah looks hurt and indecisive. Sue jumps out of the car and runs over to her daughter, warily asking what was wrong. This has been a rough day for her, and it only seems to be getting worse.

"It's Seth," Leah cries, fear in her eyes.

"What is it," Sue says running into the house.

She looks to Paul, he stares at the ground, his eyes furious as his body shake a little. Walking up to him she asks, "What's wrong?"

"It's Seth," Paul says, "He's got the fever."

Running up to the house passed Leah who was crying. In the house, Sam holds Sue back as Seth shakes and growls on the couch in pain. She moves in but Sam grabs her too, "Don't he will change soon and hurt you."

"It's ok, I can help," she says, breaking his hold and moving to Seth's side knelling in front of the couch. She puts her hand on his chest, he had ripped his shirt, she touches his skin, calming him with her ability. She learned this from an old healer in a pack to the south of hers, sharing her emotions and Seth's pain. She stays calm when the pain hits her, like a ton of bricks. Seth's body stops shaking and he opens his eyes, sweat dropping from his forehead, his eyes are unfocused for a moment before he says, "Mom."

Daiane holds her hand out to Sue letting Sam know that it was ok now. Sue leaps forward after Sam lessens his hold on her to hug her son, tears in her eyes for the pain her child is going through. Daiane keeps her hand on Seth's skin, never breaking contact so she can keep him calm. But Sue's hand goes for Seth's neck, the rage that filled her at that moment nearly sending her over the edge. Seth roars on the couch as she lets go to grab Sue's wrist in a hard grip. After breaking contact with Seth, he goes back to shaking and spasming on the couch, unable to focus on anything.

Her eyes boar into Sue, anger making them glow with the power of her jaguar. Sue didn't know how close she came to doing irreparable harm to her son. Forcing a shifter to stop their first shifter could do so much harm to them, causing them pain everything they shifted in the future or in some cases killing them. She looks at Sam, Paul and Leah standing in the doorway, her gaze telling them that they have been too liberal in who they told and how disapproving she was. She would have to explain why they shouldn't tell just anyone. Sue was probably going to have a bruise from her hold on her wrist, she lets her go and puts her hand back on Seth's chest, calming him again.

"Don't do that, again," she says coldly.

She focuses on Seth and sending her calming energy into him and sharing his pain. He was fighting his shift. Why was he fighting it? She couldn't understand.

Sue misunderstands what she is doing and says, "Can you stop his change?" Daiane looks over at the others in the room. Sam stands ready for a fight, the strong alpha of the pack, ready for anything this new member of the pack may do. Paul stares at her, an unreadable expression, as he just stares at the whole scene and Leah, the older sister, her eyes plead with her asking her to stop this. She couldn't though.

"No," she says, "The change will happen no matter what I do now."

Sue cries harder at her answer and Leah hold onto her mother as she falls to the floor, howling. Why were they so scared and sad about Seth becoming a wolf? But she understands this was why Seth was in so much pain, why he was fight so hard against it and hurting himself in the process.

She moves closer the Seth and says to him, "Seth can you hear me?" Seth's pain rattled face turns to her and his eyes open slightly, looking it her. "Listen to me Seth, stop fighting this. Nothing will change afterwards; your mom will still love you and your sister will still be your sister. They will not leave you after meeting your wolf, they will love you more."

Sue looks up at her word tears streaming down her face, as understanding hits her. "Seth that presence you feel inside you, that beast you think it is, isn't a beast. That is yourself, your other self, you wolf. He does not wish to cause you harm, he is hurting too. All he wants is to be by your side and live by your side with you." She moves closer to Seth and touches his forehead, wiping the sweat away. "Your wolf is you and you are him, neither can survive without the other. You wolves fight so hard against your shifts like it is a battle of wills but it's not. It is Khipia, a beautiful union of two great beings."

She could feel the pain in Seth ease, and she sent over her sympathetic, telling him that it would be ok. "Do not fight this pain. Like birth, after the pain washes over you, you will because something greater than you were before." She let the pain flow through her body, showing him how to accept the pain. "That's it, Seth. You do not have to fear this change," she praises him.

She lets her jaguar come forward, allowing the start of her shift to transfer to him, starting his change. Seth back aches off the couch in pain and a growl comes from his throat, the next second an oversized wolf lays on the couch on one side, panting for breath. Seth's wolf is a deep brown with reds on his back, he is smaller and rangier than the other wolves. She pats his fur gentle, "You have formed a wonderful union Seth, your wolf is very handsome." She smiles at him, "Move your toes, Seth. Feel your new self, turn your head, it is no different from before." Seth's paw twitch and his head and eyes turn to her.

Seth's eyes go to his mother and sister, a whimper coming from his throat. But there was no need for his fear as Sue and Leah come to him hugging the wolf around its neck and crying into his fur, telling him how much they love him. She steps back letting the family have their moment together and moving over to Sam and Paul.

She looks at Sam, anger in her eyes, "I told you not to tell many people about that." She points to her neck.

"She is a council member and mother to two wolves now," Sam returns. "But that's not important now, what if Seth attacks them." Sam jerks his chin to Sue and Leah still hugging Seth.

"Seth will probably have the best control out of all of you," she says, "I wasn't lying, you wolves fight your shifts so much you hurt yourself to prevent it. That is the problem not the shift itself. Seth's first change was clean, he will not harm anyone." Thinking back to earlier, when Sue tried to force Seth shift to stop. "But she doesn't understand and she could have harmed Seth just now," she says, angerly. "I think I need to explain a few more things."

"Then do," Sam says.

She takes a deep breath, "Sue could have caused Seth great pain for the rest of his life as a shifter if she had forced his first shift to stop," she explains. "The first time a shifter changes is a very—delicate time. If someone stops their shift in that moment, they could kill them."

Paul and Sam stare at her, listening closely. "Apparently there is another big different between jaguars and wolves, but it is phycological. Seth was fighting his shift, fighting his wolf. Everyone in my old pack knows that you should never fight a shift like that, control is one thing but allowing your animal to feel free inside you is another. Seth was so afraid of changing that he was fighting and killing his wolf, which would have killed him too. We wolves must accept what you are, not as a curse but as the gift that it is."

"That is easier said than done," Sam says.

"Do you really hate what you are that much," she asks. How could they hate the blissing they have been given? She loved her jaguar with all her heart, it was the best part of her. And she knew she would be lost without it. Paul's wolf was beautiful and strong, did he see it as a curse?

"No, we just-," Sam starts but is unable to finish. She looks down sadden by this news, that this new pack that she found, a strong and wonderful pack of wolves didn't see themselves as gifted but damaged somehow.

"Stop blaming the vampire for what you are," she says looking Sam right in the eyes, "This was always inside of you waiting for your acceptance. It just had to force its way out to save you from the threat nearby. Your wolf was always there, take care of it, like it took care of you then."

Sam's stares at her, and eerie expression in his eyes. "I understand," he says.

"I hope you do," she replies. "You should take Seth out for a bit of a run tonight; it will be good for him and his new bond with the pack."

Sam moves away to the Clearwater family, telling them what she told him to do and take Seth out to run with the pack. Leah was ready to go with her younger brother, but Sue cries, not wanting her children to go, as Sam leads the wolf and Leah out the doors and into the woods. She knew it must be hard for her, watching both her kids leave and not being able to protect them, but her handles it well as she stands by the door waving them into the night.

She expected Paul to go with them, but he stays next to her as they move away into the woods. She turns to him, asking him her silent question.

"I am not going this time," Paul says. "Not unless you are?"

"No, I have no place in this," she says, "I'm not pack."

Paul's eyes darken, "Yes you are," he says forcefully.

She turns to him, lips parted; she felt a flutter in her chest at his words. She missed having the connection to a pack, missed that feeling of belonging. "But I am not a wolf," she says a little shakily.

"It doesn't matter," Paul says, his fingers touch her cheek, so lightly but she feels electricity in his touch. "You are pack now. If you don't like Sam that's ok, you don't have too. And even if you can't join the pack mind, you are still a part of this pack and we will be there for you if you need us."

Something explodes inside her chest, fireworks and lightening. Her vision goes blurry, tears she realizes as she feels wetness trail down her cheeks. Paul finger wipes the first few away, as he leans closer to her, his lips lightly brush her cheek, tasting her tears. She couldn't explain the overwhelming feelings flowing through her, she had a pack. She could feel it again, that break in her chest were her old pack use to be was slowly closing and a new bridge was forming, leading to this new pack of wolves. She closed her eyes feeling for this new bond, this new pack.

And there it was, she felt Sam running with Seth and Leah, joined by Jared and Quil. She could feel their young happy energy as they ran together, Sam's was the only different one, more thoughtful. Maybe she shouldn't have said what she did, she would have to try to be more lenient with him, he was a kind alpha, like her grandmother, she had to remember that. Embry and Jacob must be sleeping because she didn't feel much from them at the moment.

Then there was Paul standing in front of her, she felt something strange from him. She opened her eyes to look at him, trying to understand want this was. He stared at her; his face mirror inches from hers. His eyes stare openly at her lips, and she feels fluttering in her belly, almost painfully. He brings his arms around her, hugging her close and rubbing his cheek on the top of her head. She can't see his face like this but she feels something inside him loosen a little. Like holding her released some tensen inside him. She peeks at him, at his lips.

His touch sent thunder through her deep into her belly, as his lips trace hers. She felt her knees shake as she gripped his shirt for stability. His soft kiss turned hungry quickly as they bite and nip at each other. Her body seems to have a mind of its own as she presses into him, needing something to release this pressure inside her, she felt tight, like a cord drawn to tight over her.

Her hand gripping his shirt tighter, pulling him to her; he doesn't seem to mind as his fingers bite into her hip over her jeans pulling her closer as well. Somehow, they remained upright in their tug-a-war, her drawing him down to her and him pulling her up to him.

She can't take it anymore, the cord snapping inside her. She jumps away from Paul with a moan of frustration. She hugs her middle bending over in nearly uncontrollable pain. She felt raw and exposed. First Charlie and Bella and being forced out of a place she was beginning to think of as home for the first time in over a year. Then to come here and feel the pain and fear of Seth going through his first shift. And now the fledgling bond with a new pack, she couldn't help the raging emotions from traveling down the bond. She could feel the wolves in the forest stop, confused by the whirlwind of emotions for her. They didn't understand what had just happened, or the bond she now had with them. She was ruining Seth first run with his pack, an important moment in a young shifter's life. She tries to being her emotions in check.

Paul steps closer to her, she jerks her eyes up to him, tearful eyes. He reaches for her, but she backs away, she felt like she would shatter if he touched her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," Paul says, mournfully.

"No, it's—I can't—" she couldn't form the words to explain as she stares at him pleading with him to understand. How could she explain this whirlwind? She wanted to jump into his arm and stay there forever and run at the same time. Everything felt so crazy right now and he was a shifter and one day he would hear the call and forget her, maybe, "Maybe we could—just—friends?"

He nods, his eyes harden for a moment but he accepts her offer without complaint. Sue chooses to enter the room in that moment, she looks at her concerned at the tears and expression of pain on her face.

"What happened," Sue comes to her side and puts her arms around her, like she did Seth. She was a good mother and a kind person she needed to remember that when she explained what she did wrong with Seth's first shift.

"Nothing," she says, shaking her head.

"I know it's been a rough day for all of us," Sue says, "First Charlie and now this."

"What happened with Charlie?" Paul asks.

"Bella flew off to somewhere after that Cullen vampire and—he didn't mean too," Sue stops, looking at her with concern. "He took out his anger at another one of Bella's disappearing acts on Daiane… He kicked her out of the house."

"What?!" Paul's eyes glow with rage.

"He didn't mean too," Sue says, defensively, "He will see his error in the morning once he has time to calm down."

Paul looks unconvinced, she needed to defuse the situation, "It's ok, Paul. I can find another place to live if necessary."

He looked unmoved by her words as he says, "You can stay with me. I have a spare room, it's yours now."

Stay with him? In his house? Surrounded by his scent? She wasn't sure she could handle that. But Sue saves her for this decision for now by saying, "She is staying here tonight, and we can talk about this in the morning."

Sue leads her away and up to Leah's room. Sue says she can stay in Leah's room, she brings blanket and pillows in and she makes a bed on the floor. She was so tired that she lays down and is out in a matter of seconds.