By dinner, my oxygen levels were still improving so Kai decided to try to see what would happen without the cannula. My oxygenation numbers did go down, but they didn't drop into a danger zone, and Kai was thrilled. He told me that he would ask for me to be discharged the next morning.

My mother had sent through a note to Ranger while the kids were there to let us know that they would be joining the plane that night. It had taken my mom and dad ganging up on Val together and telling her that she was looking after my grandmother and she didn't have a choice, but they were able to do it. My mom sent through another note a while later, and she said that, for the first time in a long time, she felt like she could breathe. I was very happy for them and was looking forward to seeing them.

In anticipation of our release, Kai went to the pharmacy and bought an excess of supplies. He bought enough gauze to wrap me up like a mummy several times over, antibiotic ointment, extra strength acetaminophen, numerous prescription drugs, a hot pad, a cold pad, a wedge pillow to raise my head and make it easier to breathe, and so on. He also sent a note to Lindsay asking her to buy a lot of pudding, yogurt, cottage cheese, kefir and juices so that I had some easy nourishment that would be soft on my throat.

I teased Kai about the haul, but I was glad to see it. I was a little concerned about leaving the hospital. Yes, we had prepared for it the best we could and, emotionally, it would be the best thing for me. I didn't feel safe in the hospital and I was having trouble relaxing because of it. However, I was still in a lot of pain and I wasn't sure if I was ready to be away from the IV.

When Ranger left to get dinner for himself and Kai – and something soft for me – Kai sat down on the side of the bed and looked at me. "Talk to me", he said. I sighed. Kai was way too perceptive.

I told him softly that as much as I wanted to leave the hospital, I was also scared and I explained why.

"What is your pain level?"

"Generally, with the medication, it is about an eight. Without the medication? I don't want to know."

"Fair enough. I'll get some stronger painkillers than what you are taking, and perhaps that will be a better option for you at times. What part of your body hurts the most?"

"My nose and throat are about a three. My lungs are about a two. They are tight, but they don't hurt more than my muscles complaining from the constant coughing. My abdomen, though, is about an eight and my legs are about a fifteen."

Kai looked at me and sighed. "Okay", he said. "I still think that it is the best idea for you to go home. I think, emotionally, it will be good for you and, if we need it, we'll get an IV at home and set you up on that, just with a more comfortable environment for you to be in. In the meantime, I will commit to carrying you around and will monitor you throughout your days. That will let Ranger do what he has to do, and your team do what they have to do. If my purpose is to monitor you, I'll be able to catch it faster when you need medication. I am not happy that your pain level is as high as it is."

"I feel bad that you have to cater to me."

"Steph, I would never say that you being in pain is good. However, I'm glad I came on this trip to spend the time with Julie. I'm enjoying seeing Scotland and going out for runs through the forest and down near the lake...I mean, loch." I smiled. "But I'm a doctor and I feel guilty being paid to be a doctor and not provide value. I've always liked being a member of the team and I value being a member of the Rangeman team. But I'm not doing anything for the team. So any way that I can help you? That's good for me. It makes me feel like part of the team again."

Tears came to my eyes, and I swiped them away as Ranger came in. He looked at Kai and me, put down the tray of food, and said mildly, "everything okay?" His body and voice were tense though, and I could tell that he was gearing up for the bad news.

Kai told him softly what my pain levels were at, and how I wanted to go home but was scared to be away from the IV option. He told him that he would commit to constantly monitoring me, and that with constant monitoring he was hoping that I would be better supported both emotionally and physically. "Steph has been scared to mention it because she wants to go home. She thinks it would be good for her, good for the kids, and she wants to participate in nailing the attackers – and I can see why that would be important to her, both because of who she is as a person and because of the trauma she just went through. She also doesn't feel safe in the hospital. Her Spidey-senses are tingling, and she wants out of here. However, she's still in a significant amount of pain. After dinner, I'm going down to the emergency room to talk to the doctor there, and to get vials of stronger painkillers and syringes prescribed as well as a few saline locks, so I can give her IV medication as needed. Because I'm a doctor and I'm there the whole time, there is no reason not to be able to accommodate Steph's needs. In the night, if you need me, you can come and get me and to be honest, I would likely be there faster than a nurse who was looking after many patients. There are other options like a sub-q pain pump we can look at too. I will see if there is someplace here I can rent one.

"Should we consider keeping Steph in the hospital longer?"

"No", I said. "Ranger, I need my family around me. Pain is easier to handle if you are spending part of your day laughing or doing things that divert you from how you are feeling."

Kai smiled. "I actually agree. Steph needs to get out of a hospital room. She has tried so hard to get better. She needs to lie in her own bed and hear you breathe as you sleep. She needs to see the moonlight shine in her windows. She needs to know that you will get her a pudding to eat whenever she wants it. I understand that, and I will commit to helping Steph have that."

Ranger looked down at the ground as he thought about it. "Why didn't you tell us, babe?" he said quietly.

"I want to go home. I want to see the kids throughout the day, not just in the half hour visit in the morning. I want to watch the birds out the window. But more importantly? I don't feel safe here. I feel like we are in danger and I want to get the bastards that did this, and if the most I can do is sit in the room while Miguel and Dirk and Nick and Julie do all the work, then dammit, I want to do that. And if I can help? Even better. Those assholes are going down, Ranger, and I want – I need – to be part of the team that is doing it."

Ranger took a couple of deep breaths, and looked at me. "I want them to go down as well", he said. "Just don't participate to your own detriment, okay?"

"That's why I'll provide constant monitoring", said Kai.

"You have to promise not to lie to Kai", said Ranger. "Can you do that?" I nodded. "And if Kai tells you to go to bed, you go to bed. He is monitoring you for a reason. Can you do that?"

I sighed. "Deal", I said.

"Then I guess we are going home tomorrow."

I grinned. "Thank you", I said tearfully. I captured my breath and looked at him. "What did you bring me to eat?"

Ranger sighed, but I could tell that he wanted to smile. "I think you are making the most of this need to eat soft stuff."

I laughed. "Might as well take advantage of it. After all, it got me trifle for breakfast."

He smiled and pulled a container of butternut squash soup out of the bag. I grinned. I hoped it was as good as Ranger's. His was fantastic. "Cinnamon is supposed to be good for you", he said, "so I also bought you a rice pudding", he said as he pulled it out of the bag.

"I thought cinnamon was supposed to help you lose weight", I said as I reached for it. "I don't know whether I should be insulted or not."

Ranger yanked back the container of rice pudding. "You've already lost too much weight over the last six months. You do not need to lose more."

"What about if I scraped off the cinnamon? It wouldn't be as good, but I'd still get the pudding."

Ranger laughed and put the rice pudding on the rolling table beside the soup, and handed me two spoons. He also took out two containers of beans and handed one to Kai, and a bread roll and a salad each for them.

After we each finished our meals and Kai dosed me again with a painkiller, Kai went to the nurses' station and got an ice pack for me. He brought it back, put it on my abdomen, and told us that he would redress the burns when I was asleep. He told Ranger that he would be back, and he left for the emergency department to get the prescriptions and supplies that he needed.

As he walked out of the room, I looked at Ranger. "It would kill me not to be part of the team developing the takedown plan."

"I know."

"We've already lost time."

"That's okay. We'll make it up."

"I want to get those bastards badly."

"I know. But don't forget - you're more important. If it means that the guys do all the work, then that's okay. If you hadn't trained them, they wouldn't be able to do the work. You would still be a part of it."

I sighed.

"I was thinking, while you recover, that we'd get the guys doing the training at Castle Force. If Miguel and Dirk and Nick and Julie all train people, we'll get through it before the end of the summer."

I sighed. "I would have liked to have met everybody."

"I'll bring you into the office so that you can meet people, and we can have the managers come out to the castle to meet you. We'll figure it out. But just so that you know, I told everyone that the strike team should prepare to be away from Trenton for two weeks, and that the guys should prepare to be away from Trenton for two months. They were all good with it. As Miguel said, it is way better than being a soldier since Kate can come, and Kate is bringing her computer. So is Cindy, so that they can work onsite if they want. They understood why the guys were needed, they are incredibly worried about you, and Cindy is thrilled that their family is being kept together while Dirk is going offsite. I know the guys were relieved that they were going to see you. Like your mother, they have been worried. The only difference is that your mother can only imagine the extent of your injuries. The guys have actually seen injuries like that while serving. Apparently, Hal and Tank told them what happened and that they were being asked to leave the next day, and the guys all started to cry. They, too, will be glad to see you at home."

"I'm worried about them. First there was me being sick, and then the Amber Alert that went wrong, and now this. They are going to find it hard. We are close friends and a tight team. There is nothing that they wouldn't do for me, and there is nothing I wouldn't do for them."

"They are your true family."

"Yes."

"Tank sent his best wishes. He said that he would like to come as well, but someone needs to look after the company and while we are having fun in Scotland, he will make the sacrifice."

I grinned. "Tell him that he at least has sun. I have learned that a bonny day here is a day with only two hours of rain."

Ranger laughed. "I also thought, if you have a bit of energy left, that we should call Joe and Tracy. They were ready to come over again, and I told them to keep that as an option for after the strike team has left. However, Trace started to cry when she heard what had happened and Joe said he would stay home from work today so that you could call at any time."

I smiled. "Let's call them now. I don't want them worrying."

Ranger smiled. "Precisely my thought."

He dialled their number, and seconds after the call went through Tracy answered. "Ranger?" she said.

"And me", I said.

"Steph! How are you? Are you in a lot of pain? What is the treatment plan? When are you going home from the hospital?"

"Whoa!" Tracy laughed and sniffled at the same time. "I'm okay, I'm in some pain but am enjoying painkillers. Since I was just given one, I might have to check out of the conversation in a bit. I'm going home tomorrow and I can't wait. My team is coming, and we are going to nail these bastards."

"Tell me about your injuries."

"The inside of my nose and throat were burned by the smoke. They are uncomfortable, but they are getting better. I am off oxygen now and my lungs are improving daily, so Kai must have figured out the best medication mix for me. They don't hurt but just feel tight and my muscles are complaining because I keep coughing. The muscle tear in my abdomen is quite sore. I can see that I will be using a lot of ice packs and Kai has warned me that it could take a while to heal. And the burns on my legs go basically from my knees down to my toes. I'm not so fond of that, and I have to be carried everywhere I go. Hopefully it will only be for a few days, but Ranger has promised to get me a wheelchair if it lasts more than a couple of weeks. I'm looking forward to that. The damsel-in-distress thing is getting old real fast, let me tell you. However, the good news is that the burns are only second-degree burns with limited third-degree burns on my feet. I know next time that I want to get dressed up and go somewhere that I should wear my combat boots. Then I could stomp out the fire as I went."

Tracy laughed. "If anyone could make an evening gown and combat boots look good, it would be you."

I snorted. "Add a tiara and I'm ready."

Tracy laughed again.

"What exactly happened, cupcake?" said Joe.

"I don't really remember. What I've been told is that the bomb went off, Ranger and I ran up to the front, Heather had arranged for almost everyone to be picked up and taken out by the other grads, and when we got there Ranger jumped up on the stage and picked up the dean, Heather picked up the person beside her, and they thought that was everyone. Somehow, I saw this other man on the other side of the auditorium on the floor. I ran across the floor to get him. The floor was unfortunately on fire. I picked him up and dragged him out of the auditorium, threw him down on the grass and collapsed."

"What she isn't telling you", said Ranger, "is that the man is about 6'5" and weighs about 350 pounds. Think Tank-sized. She tore an abdominal muscle as she lifted his legs up and dragged him out of the auditorium on her burned feet. Kai and I have no idea how she did it. I also don't know how she wasn't hurt more. But somehow, she got Ben out of the auditorium and, if it wasn't that she was still recovering from pneumonia, her only true injury would have been the burns."

"You are a hero, cupcake."

"Nah", I said. "Anyone would have done it."

"No, but I'm not surprised that you did. You told me once that you weren't very brave. I told you that you had always been brave. This is just another example."

I sniffled. "Thanks, Joe", I said.

Ranger looked at me and smiled. "Want another example of her bravery? Helen and Frank are on a flight somewhere over the Atlantic right now. They should be arriving at the castle at eleven tomorrow."

"Oh boy", said Tracy.

I snorted. "It wasn't so brave. I told them they weren't invited if they brought Val or Grandma along, and then we put them on a plane with a strike team full of tattooed and built men wearing full military wear and carrying gun bags. The only people they know on the flight are Hal and Nick and Nick's kids. I'm going to tell them that, if they can survive that, they can survive Val."

Tracy and Joe laughed.

"Mom actually sent a message saying that, once they got Val to agree to look after her grandmother, they felt like a weight was taken off their shoulders and that for the first time in a long time, they could breathe."

"I can understand that", said Joe. "I often wonder if my mother is struggling as well, but I don't want to subject Trace and Eli to my grandmother, so I think that my mother is just going to have to deal with it. I phoned her a month ago, after Colin gave us the money, and I offered to get some help for her. She hung up on me – after she yelled at me and told me that I was failing as a child and why couldn't I be more like my brothers."

"Your brothers are idiots, Joe", I said. The room was starting to spin, and I closed my eyes. Ranger leaned over and kissed me goodnight, sat back, cupped my cheek in his hand and smoothed his thumb over and over my cheekbone.

"I know. I would hate to be like my brothers. Tracy would leave me, for one. She wouldn't and shouldn't have to put up with the affairs, the groping of other women, the swearing, the laziness, the drinking and so on. No woman should have to put up with that."

"Just like no man should have to put up with that either", said Tracy.

"That's true", said Ranger. "Steph is out for the count, so if you don't hear her, she's just gone to sleep."

"How is she doing, Ranger?" said Tracy softly.

"Better than can be expected and not as well as she is portraying. She is still in a lot of pain – a three in her nose and throat, a two in her lungs, an eight in her abdomen, and a fifteen in her burns on her legs and feet. We have to pile horseshoe pillows to the sides of her legs and feet to hold up the blankets off her burns. They are incredibly painful, and she has been almost passing out when the bandages have to be changed."

"They are second-degree burns?" said Tracy.

"About eighty percent are second-degree and the remainder are third-degree. It's going to take her a while to recover. The good part though, is that there are lots of people coming to help, and Kai has said that he feels a bit useless just hanging around the castle, and he volunteered to take care of Steph, and to monitor her during the day. He said that would make him feel like he was doing something."

"I can understand that", said Joe. "I often have that problem as well."

"Is skin grafting going to be necessary?" said Tracy.

"Probably, but Kai said it was too soon to tell. At this point, we are trying topical medications first and are hoping that the burn will heal itself. As Kai said, the second degree burns should heal. However, third degree burns usually require grafts."

"How are you doing?" said Tracy softly.

Ranger sighed. "Not as good. I've been talking to Kai a lot, and he's been counseling me. I'm struggling. I'm not sure why it always has to be her. She's always the one that is getting hurt, and I'm railing at the fates because of that."

"But that's just her", said Joe. "She gives at two hundred percent, and that's why she is the one that is always getting hurt. Whether it is jumping out of a moving car to capture her skip – while nursing a gunshot wound – or being infected by bubonic plague, or whatever. She is the person who never gives up. Wading through fire to save a man three times her size is exactly the kind of thing that she would do. And that is one of the reasons you love her." He snorted. "Personally, it drives me nuts. She has no sense of personal danger. You've done a lot at toning down those tendencies. However, they are still there, and you'd better believe that she would do everything in her power to ensure that no one was left behind."