The next time the morphine wore off enough for me to wake up, Grant was in the room. "How are you feeling?" he said.

"Excellent. Did you notice my new blanket?"

"I did. Ranger said that it's very light?"

"It is. The weight of it doesn't bother my burns at all."

"That's fantastic."

"And you know what else?"

"What's that?"

"Lindsay is getting a team together to plan a birthday party for Tia. It's her birthday next week and I had been worried about it. Tia is just little, and in the last six months her father was shot, I almost died a few times, and now I have burns that, quite honestly, are painful and the kids know it. She's been coping well comparatively, but it has been hard on her. She's scared. She knows that her birthday is coming up and that is the one day of the year that should be special to a child. I asked her what she wanted and she said she wanted me to get better. What kind of horrible birthday is that for her? I want her to think of her birthday as the day that everyone banded together and planned a day to have fun, rather than coming and seeing me in pain. I feel like I am letting her down."

"Steph, you're doing the best that you can."

"It's not good enough, Grant. Kai said she climbed in with him and Julie last night. Grace and Alix climbed in with my parents. I'm glad they found comfort and the hosts didn't mind the company. But I feel like crap that they didn't come to me."

"It was probably a good thing."

"I know, but it was still hard. I hate not being able to parent."

"You are still a good parent, Steph. You are just having to take some time to devote to your own healing, and that's okay. Parents can put themselves ahead of their kids at times, just like at other times the kids need to take priority. I think that's an important lesson for kids to see. That's part of how you teach your kids teamwork."

I thought about that for a moment.

"Do you feel up to having the team in, or do you want some more morphine and have another sleep?"

I closed my eyes for a moment. "You know what I would like?"

"What's that?"

"Something to drink, primarily, and then something to eat. I'm a bit hungry and hugely thirsty."

"Ranger said that he had the ingredients to make a peanut-butter banana smoothie for you, and to call him when you wanted one."

I grinned. "Excellent."

He typed it in a text and sent it to Ranger. "How are you doing pain-wise?"

"About a ten on my legs. I don't think the morphine has worn off. About a six on the muscle tear, and that's it."

"Okay." He took the stethoscope and listened to my lungs, and he took my blood pressure. "Your blood pressure is still elevated , which tells me that you are still in incredible pain and are trying not to show it."

"Darn. I didn't want you to know."

Grant laughed. "Steph, you have to be honest."

I sighed.

He peeled back the blanket, washed his hands and put on sterile gloves, removed the bandages and checked my burns. "Steph, do you want the good news or the bad news?"

"Oh oh."

"The good news is that the burns that you disturbed last night are now healing again. The bad news is that some of your blisters are looking a little infected."

I practiced my deep breathing. "How bad is this?"

Grant gently applied more antibiotic ointment and redressed the burns with gauze as I tried not to scream in pain. "It means that we have to start giving you an antibiotic again. I don't know where Kai did his shopping, but he prepared for a siege." He went over to the side table and searched through the twenty vials of medication. He picked one, came back with it, filled a syringe, rolled me to the side, pulled down my diaper and injected the medication into my buttocks. "It's okay, Steph. We are getting this at the very beginning of the infection. Probably this one dose will take care of it, but we will continue to give you antibiotics for a while just to make sure the infection doesn't come back."

I swiped the tears from my face.

"Talk to me, Steph."

I paused for a moment as I gathered my courage to talk. "I'm scared", I said finally.

"What are you scared of?"

"What happens if I never walk again?"

"Then you retrofit the castle with an elevator. You get a wheelchair in a snazzy color, like hot pink – although personally I see you more as a dark purple – and you continue to shine your light on the world. Being disabled is largely a state of mind. Yes, access is better than it was but it is still not great. Yes, it can be painful and it is more limiting than it should be and there are barriers to disabled people that able-bodied people never even think of. But there are millions of disabled people who are inspirational, who live their lives well and fully, and who are determined not to let their disability stop them from being someone amazing. Having said all that, I have no doubt that you will walk again. At first you won't be able to be on your feet for long. Your burns will have healed but they will be sensitive to the touch and because you have burns on the soles of your feet, weight-bearing will be difficult to tolerate at first. After a while you'll be able to be on your feet for a longer period. And in another while, though you'll have scars, you will be able to do whatever you could before."

"Will I be disfigured?"

"Maybe? I don't know that, and I don't think that anyone will really know that. I know that Kai and I were expecting that you'd have to have some grafting done, but you are healing so well that I'm now not as sure that you'll need the operation. Up until yesterday, it was healing remarkably well. Kai and I didn't know how you were healing so fast. Yes, we had a set-back last night. However, to all intents and purposes it looks like your amazing healing has restarted again. With a little help from that antibiotic, I anticipate that your healing will continue and you will again have a chance at avoiding having grafting done. As for being disfigured, probably not but does it matter?"

I thought about that for a moment. "Not really."

"That's right. How you look has no bearing whatsoever on the person you are." I was silent for a while, and after a moment, Grant said, "what are you thinking?"

"You'll think it's dumb."

"Probably not. What are you thinking?"

"I was wondering where I could buy thick black tights that you can't see through, and I was thinking that I'd wear them with the dress that Lindsay is going to help me get made."

"You're having a dress made? What kind of dress?"

"One that I can wear to court with a black blazer. I was thinking of getting it made in the Black Shadow tartan, which is a plaid that Colin had designed for him. It is made primarily from two intensities of black. It is very subtle, but it suits our dress code. I thought it would look nice and I plan for the first time I wear it to be when I go to court with my sister. I figured it would be a little like having Colin with me, whispering in my ear that I don't have to listen to Val. Lindsay was quite excited by the idea when I asked her for help. So, when you asked me what I was thinking about, I was thinking that Lindsay might know where to buy thicker, more opaque tights that would be suitable. I figure that you'd need thicker tights to wear with the kilts."

"That's true. And if Lindsay doesn't know, there's always Amazon."

I laughed.

Ranger came in carrying a tray, and on the tray were three little glasses of smoothie, and one large glass of smoothie. Behind him were Tia, Grace and Alix. "Hi, Mommy", they said all at the same time.

"Whoa. It was like I was hearing an echo", I said with a smile. "Did you come to have a picnic with me?"

Grace bounced up and down. "Yeah", she said.

"We brought you cookies as well", said Ranger. "All the kids helped me make gingerbread cookies this morning, and the girls have sampled quite a few and have told me that they are very good."

I grinned. "Yum! I love gingerbread cookies."

"Is there any cookie that you don't like?"

I smiled again. "Yup. Garlic-chocolate chip cookies."

"Euww", said the three girls.

"I agree. Even I wouldn't eat them."

"Did Bob?" said Alix.

"This was before Bob was born, which was just as well. Dogs aren't supposed to eat chocolate, so the cookies would have made him sick."

"Considering dogs can't eat garlic, it would likely have made him sick as well", said Grant.

"No", I said. "That's what made me sick."

Grant laughed. He looked at Ranger. "May I speak to you for a minute?"

Ranger looked concerned and left the room and I sighed. I hope that Grant wasn't holding anything back from me.

I looked at the girls and smiled. "I'm glad to see you. I've been sleeping a lot to try to get better faster and, you know what? I slept from before dinner yesterday all the way until a few minutes ago. That's a long time."

"Do you feel better, Mommy?" said Grace.

"How about you all climb up on the bed", I said. "As long as you stay away from my legs, you're good. And as far as whether I feel better, I do a bit. My nose and throat don't hurt at all any longer. My lungs are much better. That's good, because it means that they have healed from the fire. My tummy is still sore, but that is just going to take a longer time to heal. That's okay, because it is much better than it was and I have been shocking Grant and Kai with how fast I'm getting better. So that just leaves the burns on my legs. They were getting better very fast only I turned over too fast last night and I knocked them, and I disturbed the healing. So they are still extremely sore, but Grant just checked them and he said that they are getting better again, and it is just going to take a couple of days for the healing to catch up to where it was before I hit them. So, in answer to your question, I feel a little better but I am healing well."

Ranger came into the room and smiled at me. But I could see the worry in his eyes.

"Grant is going to get a bit of vegetable lasagna for Mommy", said Ranger. "He told me that Mommy was hungry and I don't think that you ate ALL the lasagna. Almost, but not all. I have never seen bigger lasagna monsters in my life."

I laughed. "Was it as good as Granny's?"

Alix sighed, but I could tell that she was holding back a smile. "No meat."

"It had no meat in it? Was it good?"

Alix bounced for a moment. "It was YUMMY."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes", said Tia.

"Then I will have to try some."

The three girls smiled.

I looked at my milkshake. "This is a very good milkshake. I was extremely thirsty, so I am particularly glad that Daddy brought me a big milkshake." I finished my milkshake and sighed with pleasure. Ranger kissed me on the top of my head and took the empty glass from me and, when he placed it on the nightstand, Grant came in with my lasagna. He handed the plate to me but because the pain was getting to me, my hands were shaking and the fork started to do the rumba on the plate. I sighed.

Grant looked at Ranger, and Ranger switched until he was sitting on the side of the bed. He kissed me on the nose when he saw that my face was bright red. "It's okay", he whispered. He cut off a small bite, and he pretended that it was an airplane, and made airplane sounds as he grinned. The kids laughed.

I glared at him. "Do I have to talk to you in sign language again? My middle finger is getting ready to speak."

Ranger laughed hard, and I was pleased to see him lose his tension. I grinned at him, and he plopped the food into my mouth.

I had to agree with the girls. The lasagna was good, and even though I didn't eat a big serving, I enjoyed what I had. By the time I was finished eating, though, I was ready for some more morphine. Ranger looked at me, and he knew without me saying anything. He kissed me and stood with the dirty plate. He added it to the tray and looked at the girls. "I think Mommy needs some sleep", he said.

The girls slithered off the bed and wished me a good nap. "You know", I said as they walked to the door, "you made all those nice pictures for everyone to welcome them to the castle, but you didn't make any pictures for me. I was thinking that wall there", I said as I pointed to the wall, "would be a great spot for pictures. What do you think? Do you think, over the next few days, that you could make me some pictures?"

The three girls grinned. "We could make you pictures, Mommy."

"Excellent. I look forward to waking up and seeing them." I looked at Ranger as he turned to shut the door, and I winked at him and blew him a kiss. When the door was shut and I could hear the kids running down the hall, I sighed with relief.

"Ready for morphine?" said Grant.

"Hell yeah", I said. "Hit me."