Kaeya felt like a frosty bubble burst from his lips.

Something like air, like candy, like hope, like dreams.

He could open his eyes and look at the cold bubble ascend to the dark sky like a star, like a wish.

A wish? Then what would it show him?

He brought his wrist up to the star, in the same maneuver that he does when he creates his star of cryo that he always unleashes when he bursts his elemental energy.

He flicked it into the air above.

The frost bubble ascended till it melted into the dark and the sky swirled with a new energy.

He wondered how the scenes suddenly changed, as he stood on the roof of the towers in Khaenri'ah.

"The past? But how? Oh…I see…a dream. A phantom of a wish. A craving of a reality that doesn't exist. But wait? When did I go to sleep? What happened yesterday?"

He felt confusion smother him as if everything had gotten a shroud.

Still, he felt fine. He'd see what to do when he'd wake up.

The memory opened up before as he muttered in shock, "No…. way. I'm? Here?"

He felt his eyes dilate.

His heart jerk just a little as he settled his gaze on those now before him.

Once Kaeya had climbed the highest roof of his city once with 3 of his siblings once for fun.

Then as if magicked, they were now before him. Alive and well.

Breathing and fidgeting around to get the right seat before the marvel before them.

"Guys," Kaeya spoke longingly while letting this desperate smile paint his face.

He took a step forward to reach and hug them. It had been so long. He almost forgot.

But he stopped.

He knew none of them really here anymore.

They were long gone.

So long ago.

As the little ones all looked out towards the full immensity of their city, Kaeya being 8 at the time, they looked off at roofs of each building of elegance, technology, and artistry.

He looked at his small self, seemingly a lot smaller than he had imagined.

Kaeya crossed his arms then and decided not to intrude any further. He resigned himself to just observing.

"Guess I was always skinny and here I thought that it would only improve my agility. Oh, yes. I was a picky eater. How could I forget?"

The young him gave a low whistle as he marveled alongside his little brothers and sister at how Khaenri'ah was in the night.

The lights in each home and building looked like stars in the navy-blue sea. They had never seen the stars but it was written in their books and spoken to them by the gods that did visit.

Still, their city sparkled and twinkled, taking their small breathes away as the elder sister giggled swinging her arm triumphantly into the air.

"SEE! I told you all this was going to be a smart idea!"

Kaeya felt such an immeasurable sadness then.

He wanted his siblings to turn around to him.

He wanted them alive with him too.

Something ached at the back of his mind when he thought the word alive.

But he rubbed it off as he looked onwards.

None had reached the place where real stars hovered.

Only he had.

And even then, he chose to forget them. Everyone.

He hadn't been able to remember most of anything from way back then, not after he forced himself to blur it.

Hence, to be standing back there again with his 1 elder brother, 1 elder sister, and 1 younger brother was just so exquisite.

Much more than any chest he could hope to discover in Teyvat or receive any 5-star artifact.

This moment alone grounded him, reminding him how fragile life was.

Wait…it was coming to him now.

As clarity and answered washed over his eyes he just winced and frowned enormously.

Kaeya bitterly laughed spitting out harsh words as the realization lingered in his throat.

He had just thrown his life away when his siblings never had the chance to struggle for it.

How awful was that?

Kaeya rolled his palms into a fist as he felt almost ashamed to look at his siblings and his younger self.

How could he have just done that?

Shit, he's dead and so? Then what was this? Could the dead dream?

Kaeya looked towards the back of his little blue hair and the backs of his siblings whispering, "I killed us little me. But why this dream? Why am I here? Don't turn to me. You'll hate who I've become. I'm the worst."

Kaeya's confession was silenced by their giggles and small shoves towards each other.

As it was meant to be.

Their hair lightly moving as they sat themselves down and closer to the edge.

Cries of laughter, light mood whooping and cheering, as they giggled at their feat, made Kaeya's heart skip.

It didn't matter now, why he was here.

He was sure he had no body to return to.

Then this dream, what did this dream serve? Was there no heaven? Would he be doomed to haunt his own memories forever?

This made him shudder as he felt fear rising.

But it faded as he tried to focus on anything else other than his own feelings.

These were their voices. How he had forgotten?

Their cadence, flair, lilt as they talked and bantered so happily to each other.

"Ah. Maybe that's why I'm here? To remember what I've forgotten? Everyone…"

He let go of himself as his eyes fell on the older sister with her purple red wine hair, in the gold ponytail smiling at him and her brothers. Her highlight was rose and peach. Her eyes were golden just like Kaeya's left eye.

His younger brother had blue hair like him. His highlight was a flatter teal unlike his sky-blue shade. His overall hair was marine and wavy. He hung onto Kaeya as he pointed at everything. His eyes were maroon.

And the older brother there wore gold framed glasses, his dark grey bob cut hair with the familiar strip of highlight on his bangs. Lilac. Eyes dark grey and twinkling.

Each animatedly talked to each other on how they managed to dupe the knights that evening and their own mothers.

"I told them I'm staying with you."

"And I told them I'm staying with you! Hehe!"

"Same! Just hope mom doesn't check in on me! Or she's gonna start the storm of chain reactions."

"Oh my king! Then we all got to sneak back home soon or else there will be hell to pay!"

"Let's just stay here 30 minutes before running for our lives back home."

"Won't even imagine getting caught. Or you manifest that crap."

"Shut up Kaeya. Don't be a downer! This idea was worth it in the end, wasn't it?"

"Pree! Uh. Yeah. It's pretty. I'm going to doodle it in my notebook later so Tim could see it too. And Image."

"Oh yeah Tim! He's not gonna out us. Still, he's probably flirting with your mom again Kae. And Image? Oh, you're imaginary friend?"

Little Kaeya slouched a bit while covering his hot cheeks.

He muttered displeased, not looking at her, "I'm still allowed to have one. We're still children."

His sister just shook her head as her ponytail wagged from side to side.

"Nuh-uh, I'm not shaming you. Cause I have one too, Kae."

"Oh. Well then. Cool. And yeah, Tim is trying to woo mom but like. That would be weird if my knight started dating her." Kaeya smiled up at her.

"Hmmm, but we like Tim."

"Yes, me too."

Kaeya felt like he was invading such a tender and dear moment.

This moment was his, but it was not anymore either.

That little him felt foreign.

He could only remember the days at the Winery.

He couldn't remember smiling that way, not even with Diluc.

This smile was the start of his iconic smirk. It was rowdy, engaging, and suspicious.

The smile he'd wear later on were smiles of innocence.

The difference was stark because Kaeya made himself forget.

Having a photographic memory was hard.

Every burn from the ash.

Every burn from the lava.

The smoke, the sharp jagged rocks that cut and crumbled from the ceilings or floors.

The screams

The blood. The terror. The broken teeth.

The dead glassy eyes.

It was too much.

Thus, he numbed it all down. And made himself forget.

But right now, before him in this dream, he could see his city in the night time mode, much like the sun in Enkanomiya hovering in the middle of the cave city.

Only a dim and soft glow painted the walls of their city navy blue.

Then Kaeya heard a large huff as he heard the top roof lid smack right open. Men hollered from below, "They're here!"

His siblings all gasped and shouted.

The elder sister rang out, "Oh no! They found us! Bad Wishes!"

"Oh, no. We're getting it now," spouted miserably his older brother.

Kaeya saw how his youngest brother hid behind his little self and was already frantic about his mom going to punish him by restricting the free time to read in the library.

And Kaeya just saw himself pout while muttering, "Drat."

His older brother covered his eyes stating while shaking his sister's sleeve, "I knew it was too good to be true. We just got here. They must have been on our tail. Darn."

They were all quite grounded by the knights, their father the king, and their moms when they were found.

All 4 were in a line while 5 knights and Timothy, Kaeya's main knight at the time, just pointed down at the little princes and princess.

"How could you all climb so high! What if one of you fell! You're princes and princesses! We understand you all don't have as much liberties roaming the city, but it is for your own protection!"

Kaeya looked at his little self just zone out boring holes into his feet.

"Didn't ever like being told what to do, huh, little me?"

Kaeya felt the dream recede as hot prickly fevers swarmed his blood. It felt like he was on fire and he couldn't run away.

"What the-," he wheezed internally.

"Where?"

He gurgled a thick salty liquid and felt himself turn to his side quickly. He couldn't open his eyes but he hissed, wondering why the pain was so much.

Oh no, had he been healed at the statue of seven?

No wonder his abyss powers were stirring like crazy. Celestia magic always unsettled his nerves. He was going feel the phantom pain for a week or more, he was sure.

Wait? Healing?

Wait? What?

His questions were interrupted as he felt another wave of the hot vomit rise.

Kaeya felt his retching hit into the sound a bucket. He was sweating.

Then he flinched as he felt someone softly hold up his hair and bangs away from him, while lifting a bucket closer to his chin, signaling that it was there.

Kaeya was too tired to still open his eyes as he heaved.

He was startled that there was someone with him in the room, wherever he was. They were silent.

He gathered that he survived. He wasn't out in the night anymore.

He wasn't in Diluc's arms anymore.

He wasn't in the dream.

But if he had been condemned to be forever dreaming, if it was going to be like that, seeing people he had made himself forget…then…it wouldn't have been so bad.

"It's okay. I'm here."

Kaeya really wanted to open his eyes now. That was Diluc's voice!

But why?

Why was he? Speaking like that? Like the way he used to, when they were brothers?

He did survive till the morning it seems.

He didn't die.

But…he did, as well. He felt it.

It felt like nothing. Like he was nothing. He didn't remember anything before dreaming.

'How absolutely terrifying. I see. There is no heaven for us sinners. How...sad. Then everyone...everyone from before... they-,'

Kaeya wanted to ponder but he had to continue letting go of whatever meal he had that day or drink.

It just felt so foul in his stomach. He wanted nothing in there right now.

It was only when he was tired and he gasped for air that he felt strong arms lift him back for the bed frame.

"Relax. There. Breathe. One second."

He heard footsteps shuffle away and return with more pillows, as he felt a hand to his back and felt the new pillows ruffle behind his neck carefully.

Kaeya crackled his eye open just a little let the light in, but it was overly bright and blinding.

He wanted to move his hands to shield his eyes but they felt like lead and he found it best to just keep them lying on the sheets instead.

"Bri-."

Somehow Diluc knew what he was trying to say as he heard the curtains swish close and the room became instantly darker and cooler.

This relaxed Kaeya as he was finally able to open his eye. Thankfully his patch was over his other eye.

Diluc went up to him, wearing casual black clothing and hair in a ponytail.

Had he stayed the night?

He recognizes where he is. He's in one of the many cathedral infirmary rooms.

Diluc came up to him to where his good eye was and kneeled down beside him.

There was a stool a little off to the side, but Diluc just wanted to have Kaeya see him.

"Hey. Are you pain?"

There was this worry in his eyes that felt so foreign from the stern scowling.

Kaeya blinked confused while he readjusted his vision. The blur became crisp and he could finally see.

He almost wanted to shove Diluc away. He never had seen Diluc this up close since- since.

He widened his eye, the shock just washing all over him like a cool splash of water.

"A-l-litt…Di-l-u-."

Shit. He wasn't prepared for this.

It was hard to speak. He was starting to feel the shame in surviving. Finality would have been so good. Why? Did he survive?

Diluc closed his eyes almost as if asking for strength.

Why?

Diluc then opened his eyes again seriously and he tried to soften them by looking down.

"Kaeya…you're in the infirmary in the Cathedral. You're about 80% healed from what Barbara told me. She said they couldn't heal you anymore because…there was an adverse reaction happening. You can have another painkiller in about an hour. Just hold on a bit, alright?"

Kaeya nodded lightly as he once again tried to speak, "Blood…abyss…the a-abyss…in…me, adverse rea-act-tio-…that's…why."

Diluc's eyes startled and shook.

He let his mouth hang agape for a moment before blinking back in composure.

"So, it was because you're Khaenri'an. But what does that have to do with the Abyss? The statue hurts you… Is that way you never liked healing there? That explains why…Kaeya. I'm so sorry."

Kaeya was glad Diluc was smart. Or else he'd feel like hitting himself.

"S -okay," Kaeya whispered. Talking was draining. He felt like a mess.

"Kaeya…what happened? Who did this to you?"

Of course, the big question.

Kaeya winced. He wasn't going to say anything right now.

He didn't want Albedo to feel bad. HE didn't want to be the one to let everyone know that there were two Albedo's.

Albedo didn't reveal this to anyone yet and he knew that he'd have to on his own terms.

It was not his secret to share.

He didn't really want to tell anyone that it was his fake that basically tried to off his life. Or successfully did from that matter.

The look that the fake had as he held up his sword to make the last final swing was all too reminiscent of Diluc's sword, ready to swing down.

Why was it always the same?

Why did he have to survive after facing death?

When would the ultimate peace come?

Then again, maybe it wasn't there for his kind.

Kaeya chose to lie.

"I…don't…really…remember…"

Diluc painfully looked away as he cursed lightly.

"That's…not what I hoped to hear. For how can I get revenge for you? Shit. Did you get hit? And then you were attacked? That's so…foul and this person was such a coward. Kaeya, no matter what I'll avenge you, be sure of that."

Kaeya nodded lightly as he tried to speak. But then he stopped.

Diluc started to cry again right before him.

His shoulders were now shaking, broad and strong…and it looked so wrong to Kaeya to ever see Diluc like this.

Diluc didn't cry.

He didn't cry through any of his injuries. His heart was strong as starsilver and jadeite.

To see this brought some sort of terror in his heart.

Had he been wrong in assuming that Diluc just wouldn't care if he passed?

After everything he had thought- was he wrong?

Diluc picked up and wiped away some tears with his sleeve.

"Kaeya. You died. You left me."

"…"

"Why did you come to the bar, Kaeya?"

"…"

"Why didn't you try to save yourself? Why didn't you tell me?"

Kaeya shut his eyes.

The shakiness of Diluc's words were hurting him, pricking needles into his heart.

He felt absolute shame just then.

Picking up on Kaeya's expression Diluc nodded his head softly. He centered his voice and tried to make it sound strong.

"Kaeya, you don't…need to feel distressed. Not at all."

And Diluc took his hand and pressed lightly on Kaeya's shoulder.

This caused him to look back up sadly to Diluc.

"It's okay. You …don't need to tell me. I think…I understand why you didn't try to save yourself this time… and I'm…very sorry for that. I really am. I didn't know you were…suicidal. You're always so rational and logical and…I just…forgot that you could be…emotional too."

"…" Kaeya hung his head slightly wishing the bed would just take him in and shuttle him into a blackhole.

Suicidal, huh?

Yeah, that was probably it.

Damn.

Diluc had stayed that whole night next to Kaeya's bed.

The bandage wrapping and lifesaving had been done but a fever remained and this deathly sleep just hung on his brother.

Barbara and Jean couldn't make head or tails of it. Venti remained sitting slightly behind, firm and serious.

Venti whispered darkly, "Oh? So, the statue harms him too? I see."

Jean asked incredulously to Venti, "The statue can harm?"

"No, it usually does not. But with…hmmm. Certain people like Kaeya…Celestial energy can be…a little toxic."

Jean and Barbara were confused while Diluc's demeanor was cold and dark.

He knew what Venti was hinting at. Both Venti and Diluc remained in their silence as Jean and Barbara mused on that fact.

Barbara did always say that when they traveled together with Aether, if Kaeya got hurt, he preferred to be healed by her, rather than stand before a statue of seven.

She always found it odd, that he would always hang a bit back behind them, just out of reach from healing.

She even remembered when Aether and Paimon had also pointed it out to Kaeya once, on why he didn't step in closer.

Barbara recounted, "He only said, 'It makes me feel funny. Like it leaves a phantom pain over the wounds. It's just something that I experience alone. So, I'd rather not move closer if that's okay with you.'"

Diluc nodded also recalling times when they were knights and they'd be in a team near a statue feeling its effects after a bad run in with treasure hoarders.

Kaeya smiled and acted like nothing was wrong even though Diluc knew he was injured too.

He remembered grabbing Kaeya's arm and bringing him closer, not sure why he didn't say anything. And Kaeya just patted his arm while saying, "Thanks."

Wait.

Did he never actively see Kaeya stand right before any statue directly?

No memory came to Diluc's mind.

Strange.

How could he have been so blind?

And he was blind among so many other things.

Kaeya's abusive drinking on his and Kaeya's birthday.

Kaeya's endless birthday gifts to him. He'd never thank Kaeya or send a letter in regards to ever having received or accepted them. Kaeya could only assume the worst. That they were thrown away? He never made it known that he was using them or keeping them.

'Dammit.'

How Kaeya would come back to the tavern always wounded and wrapped in bandages. Diluc wrote it off as his recklessness and the other subordinate's fault for letting anything happen to their captain.

Then again, he knew that Kaeya was never shy to hide behind anyone else.

He always made sure to charge right beside or ahead of anyone else. HE knew that.

For they both were once like flame and ice, side by side, lashing out against all foes.

But now.

He lashes out alone and he is strong for he is superior than the visionless in his Favonius group.

Still.

All of these signs…he should have known.

HE saw Kaeya's mouth strain from smiling fake too much.

He saw how tired Kaeya looked when things turned foul on some missions and he was to take the blame. Kaeya would be quieter in the bar swirling the wine umpteenth times until he'd down it all in one go.

HE saw how he would have to trap and coerce people and informants in his own very tavern.

And how by the end of each trap Kaeya left with this dark and serious expression.

Diluc didn't help him in any of these instances.

He just let the man deal with his own problems by his own.

But as a brother, shouldn't he have at least imparted some encouraging words of concern or pep?

Why didn't he?

Why did he antagonize and let Kaeya just antagonize him just as much each and every time?

Each and every single conversation after that fateful day?

Whenever Kaeya wanted to say something with extra love or meaning, Diluc would just cut him off or walk away.

AS if he felt repulsed and annoyed by the very thought of true communication ever arriving to his ears.

Diluc was taken out of his thoughts when he saw Kaeya's head lull to the side.

"Kaeya?"

Kaeya fell back again to a heavy sleep.

This wasn't good.

Diluc pressed his hand gently on Kaeya's neck and felt the heat of his body.

It was much better than that abysmal cold that he felt in his arms.

Yesterday was such a nightmare.

Thank the archons…that Kaeya was still there with him.

The fever still pulsed as he slept before him.

It looked like the brief time awake had taken out all the energy out of Kaeya.

But at least…he had reassured him that he was safe and sound and was on his way to recovery.

HE needs to apologize. This time he will.

No matter what.

The desire was always there, but never truly present when he was physically close to Kaeya.

It was pride.

Pride that made Diluc go about his business as usual as he turned away from his brother. Every single day.

Shame.

He just needed to wait for him to wake up again.

And he'd not leave his side this time.

Kaeya's last words to him rang deafeningly in his ears as he felt his eyes burn with water again.

A whisper.

"It's alright. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe in a tomorrow, we'll talk again."

Diluc's trembling fist hovered over his mouth. His eyes in deep prayer he listened once more to the words that had made him so sad when he saw how Kaeya didn't wake up, after they healed him.

A fragment of a voice hovering in and out of reality.

"Luc…I'm sorry…I'll…see you tomorrow. Tomorrow."

Diluc looked at Kaeya's chest rising up and down. His brother's eyes closed in sleeping.

To see Kaeya here before him was a miracle in itself.

And how close was he to losing his starling?

The starling he didn't treasure, talk, or even sit with in the comfort of their existence?

Diluc felt like could laugh or he could just sharply cry.

"Kaeya…I thought I'd…not see you today. But tomorrow came and you're thankfully still here. I won't mess this up this time. We'll be family again. As we…always were."