Chapter 15:
I'd been plagued by nightmares all night, forcing me to stay awake in the wee hours of the morning after several attempts at sleep.
And now, here I was, sitting at the window of my room, just staring out.
A knock on the door caught my attention, and I called out for the person to come in.
Lohse poked her head in, grinning. "We're going to the Blackpits today."
"Okay. I'll be down in a bit." I smiled brightly at her, watching as she ducked back out of the room.
My smile fell once I was alone again. As alone as I could be, anyway, with the mother tree's whispers in my head.
After a stretch of time, I slapped my cheeks a few times and hopped up to my feet, gathering my things.
"Morning, everyone." I greeted them as I approached the table they were all sitting at.
Everyone responded in kind, and I went to the bar for a water. When I came back, I found their eyes on me. Curious, I tilted my head. Their expressions had a touch of concern.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
They quickly turned away from me, breaking into a conversation between them. Strange.
...
We were walking through the little pocket of houses just outside the Blackpits, when we came upon a group of magisters standing in front of a house, the family on the porch in front of them. One of the magisters walked up the front steps, sword out, ripping the little boy from the woman's arms. She screamed in terror for him to let the boy go. Instead, he shoved the boy into another magister's arms and raised his weapon.
"Stop it!" I screamed.
There was a visible burst of energy in the air, and the magisters all grabbed their heads, clutching at their hair. Their eyes turned to us- to me- and they ran, fear clear on their faces.
I paid them no mind as they raced past us, making my way to the family.
"Are you all alright?" I asked.
"Thank you, thank you." The woman chanted, hugging the child to her, looking at me. "Thank you for whatever you did."
I didn't even know, myself. It reminded me of when I'd dazed those people, but now I'd instilled terror in others. At least we hadn't had to fight them.
She told me of her nephew had been taken by magisters, that they'd headed into the Blackpits. She asked me to keep an eye out for him, since we were heading that way. I assured her I would.
We hadn't gotten far, when we saw a gathering of magisters around what looked like scaffolding. And at the top of the structure was a magister and a boy, who was hanging by his wrists in a similar fashion to when we'd found Siva. I watched as the man put his sword against the boy's cheek. I couldn't hear what was being said, but whatever it was, it was angering the man. Outrage filled me.
The next moment, he spotted us, yelling to his companions to kill us.
I prayed for me to be shielded from sight, watching as I turned transparent. As quick as I could, I climbed the ladders up to the top. I stalked toward the magister- I didn't know what I was going to do, but I was going to do something.
However, I was stopped short by Englo summoning herself, appearing between us. That caught the man's attention, and he struck out at her. I dropped the magic on accident in my haste to throw myself in front of the blow. The sword cut deep into my shoulder, almost to my clavicle, blood covering my front almost instantaneously. I stumbled back a few steps, and he took that time to move toward the boy.
"Stop it!" I screamed, unable to move from the pain. "Stop it!"
His sword dropped to the wood beneath our feet, and he stood frozen. As did all the magisters. My companions dispatched them, making their way up to the three of us a few minutes later.
Sebille took one look at me and lunged forward, wrapping an arm around my waist. I hadn't even realized I'd been swaying, until she'd caught me, keeping me in place.
"What happened?" She asked quietly, keen eyes looking me over.
I opened my mouth, but a wave of dizziness washed over me, and I leaned heavily on her, my eyes fluttering shut. There was something I needed to do. But I couldn't... I couldn't think of what.
"Stay awake." She commanded. "You need to heal yourself."
"What happened?" A familiar voice asked, sounding so angry.
"She's hurt."
"Why isn't the lass healing herself?"
"We need to treat the wound. She isn't in any shape to do anything right now."
...
The sunlight hurt my eyes, even though they were still shut. I moved my arm- the one that wasn't killing me- draping it across my face, shielding my eyes. That was better.
"Are you awake?" It was quiet, hesitant.
I let out a weak groan, unable to form words, my thoughts swirling around in a haze. I didn't even know who exactly was talking to me.
"Do you think you can heal yourself, chief?"
Chief? That sounded familiar... The same moment her name came to mind, I was thrown fully into my body. My good hand covered my mouth, tears streaming down the sides of my face. I was in agony.
Squeezing my eyes tighter shut, I prayed in my head, mouthing it wordlessly. Calling out to Eir to help me. A warmth spread through my whole body, pulling back until it was focused on my shoulder. When it dissipated, the pain went with it. I let out a sigh of relief, slowly sitting up and looking to Lohse.
"Fancy meeting you here." I smiled, tired.
She studied me for a moment, before throwing her arms around me. "We were so worried! You were hurt so badly."
I patted her back lightly. "I'm okay, now, though. It's all okay."
She pulled back, wiping her eyes. "I'll go tell the others that you're up."
"No need." My smile widened at her confusion, and I got to my feet. "I just need to change."
I'd realized, when I'd sat up, that I was in my room at my cottage, not the tavern.
"I'll step out so you can change and let the others know you're awake, while I'm at it."
"Thank you."
While she was gone, I changed into a green tunic and black leggings, sighing at the loss of two outfits already. I'd liked them, too. Another knock sounded.
"You didn't give me much time, Lohse." I chuckled, my back to the door.
It opened, closing a moment later. Heavy footsteps approached, and I knew it wasn't the mage. Arms wrapped around me from behind, and I leaned back against him.
"Ifan." I murmured.
He didn't say anything, just buried his face in my hair and took a deep breath.
"Are you alright?" I covered his hands with my own.
"Are you?" He countered quietly.
"I am. I healed myself when I woke up." I reassured him. "I'm okay."
Again, he didn't say anything.
"Well... How's the boy? Did he make it back to his family?"
"Sebille and Beast took him to them. Said that he told them where Hannag is, before he left."
"He left?" I frowned.
"He said he didn't want his family hurt again and that he would start a new life somewhere else." He squeezed me. "And before you ask, Beast gave him some money before they left him to it."
A small smile pulled at my lips. Maybe I was having a good influence on them? Whatever the reason behind the gesture, I was happy.
"I'm glad."
Silence stretched between us. Eventually, I was the one to break it.
"So... Where are we going next? To see Hannag?"
A tighter squeeze. "I don't want you going. You should be resting."
"I'm fully healed." My frown was back, and I tried to turn around, but he held me fast, giving me no wiggle room. "Ifan."
"You're lucky the wound wasn't deeper." His voice was low, gruff. "Just... stay here."
I pursed my lips, weighing my options, before responding softly. "I don't want to."
The mother tree whispered in my mind, telling me that if I listened, there was no timeframe for my obedience. I could leave whenever I wished to.
"Eira-"
"Okay." I sighed, answering both of them.
She'd given me an out. A way out of arguing, and a way out of lying.
"Okay?" He sounded suspicious, and I couldn't imagine why.
"I've never lied before." I reminded him. "I'm not about to start now, over something so stupid."
Another squeeze, and he released me, turning me to face him, before kissing me deeply. I clung to him for a few moments, before pushing him away.
"You should go now." I smiled a little, softening how my words sounded.
With a nod and a last glance at me, he left the room. I summoned Englo, whispering for her to let me know when they were gone, and she trotted from my room, going to watch the others.
About a half hour passed, before she came back.
"They're gone. I waited ten minutes after to come tell you."
"Thank you." I ruffled her fur.
"You're going after them." It wasn't a question.
"He never said how long I had to stay here." If I said it out loud, that made it okay... Right?
She looked thoughtful, nodding. "You're right. He can't fault you for it."
...
I released the magic holding her to me, watching her disappear back through our bond, before praying for me to be invisible. So I could follow my companions without worry of being seen.
I stayed hidden while the others fought a group of magisters, ready to jump in if needed, though that would instantly give me away. Thankfully, it wasn't necessary.
I crept closer when they approached the lizard woman, who I assumed was Hannag. I was close enough to hear Ifan hiss that she was the one who'd crafted the Deathfog device. A shudder ran through me. What could drive a person to create something like that?
Everyone took a step back, giving him space, and he stalked up to the lizard, grabbing her by the throat. Yelling in her face, demanding answers. When she didn't speak, he shook her, violently.
I was frozen. I'd never seen him like this before.
He eased his grip, just enough for her to breathe, and she spluttered out that it was Lucian knew what she was doing. That it was Lucian's idea. At that, he let go, staggering back a step. I never thought I'd see him like this, either- pale and like he'd seen a ghost.
Muttering to himself about how it wasn't right for him to kill her, he looked away from her. He looked so... defeated.
I revealed myself, walking up to him and resting a hand on his arm. His gaze whipped over to meet mine, and I smiled softly.
"Don't take her life." I murmured. "If you want her to pay for her involvement, then leave her with her life. If you end it, you'll be the only one suffering, in the end."
His eyes searched my face, before nodding firmly. "You're right."
Hannag smiled at me, rubbing her neck and walking away.
"Thank you for stopping me, but-" His expression darkened. "I thought you weren't going to start lying over something stupid like staying at home."
I raised my chin. "I didn't lie. You never specified how long I had to stay. That's not my fault."
"Eira-" He growled out.
"You're not mad at me." I shook my head, pulling my hand back. "Don't take it out on me."
"I am angry at you. You just couldn't stay put. I don't want you hurt like that again!"
"Eira... He's right." Lohse chimed in.
I looked from him to her to the rest of them, anger welling in my chest. "I'm not a fragile flower! I will do what I want, if it means helping someone. Even if that endangers myself." I put a hand to my chest, feeling like I had a fire burning under my skin. "Don't act like I need protection from everything. I will not stay home, just because you're afraid that I'll get hurt. Are you going to be upset if I get a papercut? How about if I stub my toe? Don't treat me like I'm going to break any second. It's demeaning."
Regret flashed across all their faces. The Wolf reached out, touching my arm, and I shook him off. Backing away from him- from all of them.
"I can't do this." I shook my head, tears filling my eyes. "I can't do this."
"Eira...?" He took a step toward me, and I backed up even more. "What-"
"I can't do this."
With that, I turned and fled deeper into the forest. Through a narrow portion of the river, then more forest- only stopping when I reached a bridge. A bridge with a troll on it.
He looked at me, and we had a staring contest for a few minutes, before I smiled at him and slowly approached.
"Hi." I greeted, standing just off the bridge.
I didn't want to trigger a fight or upset him.
He just stared at me.
I sat where I was, pulling at some grass.
"Cross?" He asked.
His voice was deep.
"No." I shook my head. "Spend time."
He looked very confused, tilting his head as though he didn't understand. I opened my mouth to try again, but understanding flashed across his face. He moved to the edge of the bridge- though he was still visibly wary- and sat across from me.
I smiled again. "My name is Eira."
"Grog."
"Tough name. Suits you."
He puffed up like a rooster, proud of himself and his name. I almost chuckled at the sight, but I didn't want to offend him.
...
We'd spent hours sitting together, talking about the most random things- butterflies as they fluttered past, a few stories of travelers he'd had cross the bridge, some travelers who didn't pay their toll. Which I'd actively tried not to cringe at. But he'd been happy, having someone to talk to, that much was clear.
After a while, I'd started to feel tired, and I laid down, his stories lulling me to sleep.
Now, I woke to the sound of a roar, and I immediately jumped to my feet. I realized I was on the bridge a split second before I realized Grog was being attacked. Without thinking, I threw up a rock wall between him and whoever he was fighting. He looked to me, surprised. I flashed him a smile, before peeking around the wall.
"You've got to be kidding me." I groaned. "What are you guys doing here?" A pause. "And why are you attacking Grog?"
They just looked at each other helplessly, even Sebille seemed at a loss.
"I asked you questions." I snapped, my hands fisting my tunic. "It's considered rude to ignore someone."
"We thought..."
I narrowed my eyes, and Lohse trailed off.
"You thought, what? That because I was laying on the bridge, asleep, that he had hurt me?" I deflated, my hands relaxing and releasing my shirt. "I... This is why I can't do this. You guys... You just attack indiscriminately. I've tried- I really have- but I... I don't know if how I feel about you guys is enough for me to go against what I believe in any longer. I... I need some time. Please."
Silence descended on us, under Grog's watchful gaze. The Red Prince was the one to break it.
"I will leave my pyramid on the Lady Vengeance, should you wish to go there."
With a nod, he turned and walked away. Fane and Sebille nodded, as well, before following him. Lohse looked like she might cry, and Beast shot me a soft smile, before guiding her away. Which left Ifan. Who was standing there, frozen, his expression so sad.
I walked up to him, touching his cheeks. "I love you." I murmured. "This doesn't change how I feel about you."
His eyes widened, hands covering mine. "You-"
"You should go now." I pulled away.
Only to be jerked back to him for a kiss. I steeled myself, not letting my body melt against him. When we parted, I smiled a little and pecked his lips lightly, before backing away. Going back to the bridge. I watched as Ifan disappeared into the forest.