You Don't Know How to Have Any Fun at All

A response to the challenge of inserting someone like myself into the lives and stories of Rangeman. Rangeman has had a run of bad publicity – bad enough to threaten the long-term expansion plans for the company. The answer? Parker Kelly, the "Olivia Pope" of Corporate Communications and PR. Now they just have to figure out how to get her to Jersey.

Recognizable characters belong to Janet, but Parker is mine. Events, personalities, and skillsets may or may not be loosely based on personal experiences. Names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent.

Prologue

"Good morning, we are now pre-boarding Flight 982 with non-stop service from Newark to Honolulu," the nasal-y voice came over the tinny speaker at the airport. "First class passengers and those passengers who need special assistance are welcome aboard at this time." I stood up and glanced at the woman by my side, pulling her closer to me so I could lean down and whisper into her ear.

"What are my chances of persuading you to join the mile-high club on this flight?" I growled into her ear as we made our way toward the gate. She shivered, and I swear my cock jumped in my pants.

Crimson colored her cheeks as I held up my phone and our digital boarding passes. The guy scanned them with a bored look on his face, and we made our way onto the jetway.

"Don't play innocent now. Is that a yes?"

She blushed again and winked coyly. Hot damn.

"Let's just say it's not off the table, and you've got a few hours to change my mind," she purred. I pressed my hand into the small of her back as she boarded the aircraft and followed her down the aisle to our seats - 3A and 3B. "Window or aisle?" she asked after placing her oversized leather tote into the overhead bin.

"Aisle," I said simply.

"Sorry," she said, sliding into the row. "I didn't even think about it."

I loved that even in the months since we'd known each other, she already knew me that well, and realized I would never be able to relax being trapped in the row in a window seat. She powered off her phone, stuck it into her small purse and placed it under the seat in front of her. I sent a text to Ranger, letting him know we'd made the flight and would be off the grid for the 11 hours we were in the air. I waited for his reply, then switched my phone to Airplane mode as a tiny, manicured hand slid onto my thigh, shooting a rush of arousal straight to my dick.

"Scandal," I hissed. "What are you doing?"

"Just cuddling with my new husband," she replied flirtily as the flight attendant appeared with 2 Mimosas on a tray.

"I just love having honeymooners on a flight," the lady in her mid-to-late 40s said, extending the drinks to us. "These are compliments of Mr. And Mrs. Manoso. Congratulations to you both!"

An older couple came slowly down the aisle, stopping by us and situating themselves into the seats across the aisle. The man slid into the window seat and opened a book of crossword puzzles, while the woman buckled herself into the aisle seat and smiled widely at us.

"Are you two lovebirds on your honeymoon?" she asked.

I nodded.

"Oh, that's so sweet. Henry, look, they're going to Hawaii on their honeymoon too! We spent a week on the Big Island for our honeymoon!"

"How long have you been married?" I asked, leaning back to let my wife into the conversation.

"54 years next month," she said. "I'm Doris." She elbowed the man at her side. "And this is my Henry."

"I'm Parker, and this is my husband, Lester."

"Well, we have a few hours," Doris said, situating a tempurpedic neck pillow between her head and the seat. "So, tell me, Parker. How did you and Lester fall in love? Was it love at first sight?"

I barked a laugh and tried to cover it with a cough. Parker pursed her lips and slid me a glance. "Not exactly," she admitted.

"Well then, start talking. This sounds like a great story!"