Chapter Forty Five: W̴͎͒a̴̧͋ṭ̴̄c̷̨̪̉̈́ḧ̵́͆͜ ̸̖̝̃a̶̗̿n̷̻̹̕ď̴͙̑ ̷̠͑͜l̶̛͕̼̐e̶̙͆̋ä̸̱́͘r̵̨̜̂ņ̴̡̏.̸̢̛̥̄
I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any other anime that I reference. I do own all OC's and new Jutsu in the story as well as every ounce of pure awesome spawned by this.
o. o. o.
"Hnnngh."
Naruto knew it was going to be a good day when he came to consciousness feeling like he had just gotten steamrolled by one of Ghost's drinking buddies again. As someone with a decent healing factor, anything lingering in his body when coming to was usually an immediate cause for concern.
"He's waking up!"
On the bright side, the loud noises that were ringing his skull didn't sound like they were out to get him this time.
"The hell did I eat?" He grimaced and moved a heavy hand to grab his head. While he made a show he made a brief mental check of his body, making small twitches all over to verify presence and functionality. Fingers. Toes. Organs. Yup. All there. And he wasn't in a bathtub of ice. Sweet, nobody had scalped his body parts for quick cash again.
"You tell us." A familiar annoyed gruff voice muttered nearby. "You're the one that's supposed to be on top of everything brat."
"Naruto, do you remember where you are?" Hinata's voice asked from right next to him just before a wave of soothing chakra tended to his aching body.
"I'm in Iron. Trying to convince everyone that shit's going to get crazier than me if we don't get our act together." He summed up the situation aptly. "Or at least I'm supposed to be. Unless something's changed since passing out."
"At least he's self-aware." A woman, the Mizukage, noted.
A second wave of chakra eased some of the pain in his head. Stronger and more meticulous, yet somehow less intense than Hinata's.
"What was the last thing you remembered before passing out? Do you remember Kaguya?" Tsunade's voice asked from right above.
"Kagu-baba? Aaaah. Shit. Right." Damn his mind was picking up slowly. He had been poking at her relationship with Zetsu and that weed thing's origins. The freak got pissed and tried to kill him. Then he tried to kill it. Then Kaguya killed Zetsu. And then… "She didn't kill anyone, did she? I mean, she didn't kill any of ours? I don't feel her around."
"We thought she killed you for a moment." Gaara drawled from a short distance away. "She left as soon as she was done with you. We couldn't stop her even if we tried."
That last bit probably hurt Gaara's pride more than he'd ever admit. Not that Naruto blamed him. Timespace techniques were bullshit like that. Only those who were trained to deal with them specifically could stop them at a moment's notice.
"How long was I out for?" He mentally tapped into the air around him and examined some of the patterns before clicking his tongue in annoyance. Between Kaguya's powers disrupting the surroundings, the seals that kept the area private, and the irregular weather patterns around the three wolves mountain that the Kage Summit was taking place in, the usual tricks he used to keep track of how much time has passed whenever he went unconscious were completely useless.
"Not long. Almost fifteen minutes." Minato answered. "Just long enough for everyone to calm down for the most part."
"Small blessings I guess." Naruto sighed, knowing how high strung everyone was, and probably is at that moment. "I'm guessing something else happened as well?"
"I'll get to the point. She gave you something new to bitch about. Check your chakra." Kurama cut in. The fox was clearly losing his patience if his tone was any indication.
"Of course she did." Not bothering to ask questions, the teen allowed his mind to sink inwards, giving him an intimate perspective on his body, his chakra system, his mother, and… "Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me."
"I know that tone." Shizune muttered in the background. "You do realize you have no one to blame but yourself this time for whatever happened, right Naruto-kun? You are the reason why, that woman, was here to begin with."
"Shizune-nee if I wasn't so pissed off about other things I'd rip on you so hard right now." It was hard to tell exactly how seriously he was taking the current situation, however it seemed to be clear that he wasn't pleased with it in the slightest. "Can you sit me up for a sec?"
"You're recovering from being in shock and your chakra is all over the place. You need as much rest as possible right now." His girlfriend adamantly refused.
"I know. That's why I need to sit up for this." His voice was harder than normal. "I'm going to be awake for at most another ten minutes. I need to get some topics out of the way before I pass out and everyone starts doing things without me doing counter-things."
"Are you in that bad of a condition, Naruto-san?" The Daimyo asked curiously.
"It was always bad. This just sapped what little stamina I had left. Gonna be out for at least a day after this."
"Well if you're going to sweet talk us like that, who are we to refuse?" Tsunade sarcastically drawled before glancing at Hinata and giving her a wordless order.
With a heavy grunt, he was helped up by the two women back onto a chair. The ordeal itself was enough to make him start to sweat.
"You look like shit." Zabuza frowned, not pulling any punches.
"Yeah, well, you'll see in a sec why." Naruto rolled his shoulders and flexed his hands. "You guys see what Kagu-baba did to me?"
"A bit." Onoki hummed. "She stroked your face as if you meant something to her. Then some red chakra burst from her hand into your skull and you collapsed. Sadly it doesn't look like it improved that head of yours. Woman didn't say anything before leaving. She completely blew us off, fortunately not literally this time."
"It was Biju chakra, from what our sensors could tell." Mei pretended to ignore Ao standing nearby. "Does your condition have anything to do with that?"
"Biju chakra." Naruto shook his head and slowly clasped his hands together. "That's not exactly right. The old lady didn't give me their chakra."
His hands separated, and two small glowing spheres appeared.
In one hand was a small slug with six bulges on one end.
In the other was a curled up white creature with five tails.
A series of gasps echoed in the chambers.
"She gave you, the Gobi and Rokubi?" Ay balked, not believing what he was seeing with his own eyes.
"Their stripped bare cores, yeah. She kept the bulk of their chakra." The blonde nodded with a grimace before slowly closing his hands around the two small creatures again, making them vanish.
"Wait! You don't mean to hold onto them, do you?" Mei cut in just as the two small beasts disappeared.
"For the time being, yeah. Kinda have to. Death bad and all that." Naruto relented as he felt the two return back into place inside of him.
"Don't tell me you're their new jinchuriki." Onoki frowned. The rule of the containers dying once their beasts were extracted was a pain to get around, but the container being Naruto would make it even more vexing for an entire series worth of reasons.
Naruto scratched his head. "Yes and no. I'll die if they're removed now, but that's only because my body was already adapting to having seven of the nine Biju's power in me. And now it has all nine. Having the other two in me all of a sudden is… kinda putting my body into a confused equilibrium right now. Until everything in me is settled down, taking them out for more than a few seconds will just disturb the chakra in my body and end with me going, boom."
Samples of all nine biju's chakra mixing about irregularly in a small human shaped vessel. Yeah, "boom" was a pretty accurate way of putting it.
"Of course. Far be it for you to go this long without something at risk of exploding spectacularly." Tsunade sighed. The sad thing is that she truly meant it.
"And you're certain that you can survive returning them once your body has adapted?" Mei probed skeptically. It was blatantly clear that she wanted the Rokubi back with her village as soon as possible. In contrast, Onoki was surprisingly quiet about the matter, more interested in learning as much as he could before saying anything.
"Yeah, that's the second part of the problem. Taking them out isn't the issue. The two are stripped bare. Down to a near infant state. If I just hand them out to you guys anytime soon, they'll just be mindless monsters that'll probably be even more unstable engines of destructions than they were before." Naruto relented with a grimace. "From what I can tell, it's going to take at least a month for my body to remotely stabilize. But I have absolutely no idea just how long it's going to take for these two to grow up and come into their own. Could be decades or even centuries for all I know right now."
Hell, the two biju were so out of it that they weren't even capable of communicating with him.
"You don't trust us with them." Onoki frowned, and he wasn't the only one displeased with the revelation.
"After all the bullshit that just happened, I don't trust anyone with the freshly adolescent reflections of aspects of our planet." The teen deadpanned.
Bee raised his hand and was about to say something.
"You're the crazy fun uncle Bee. Not the responsible caretaker. Even if you're a top tier jinchuriki." Naruto cut him off.
"Awww."
"Sounds awfully convenient if you ask me." Ay scoffed.
"I'm not exactly thrilled about it either. In case you forgot, I'm already unhinged as it is with three voices in my head. Having another two isn't going to paint me as the picture of ideal mental health." Naruto glared at the Raikage before closing his eyes and leaning back, getting as much rest as he could. "Kagu-baba probably did it as her way to partially state her position on the matter, on our relationship with her. She gives us, me, the Biju, and waits to see what we do with them. That and I'm willing to bet she's curious how I'll turn out like when all nine biju's chakra in me finally stabilizes."
"That is a rather good question." Gaara mused. "What will happen to you when your power does finally reach equilibrium?"
"Dunno. But odds are I'll be… different." The blonde admitted.
And wasn't that another thought provoking and concerning question?
"…It's probably going to be a pain in the ass."
"I would say that only you could complain that obtaining overwhelming and worldly power would be a pain, but that would be disregarding the entirety of the Naara clan." Shizune commented with a wry tone, getting a few laughs in the room that knew what she was talking about.
"I still have exceptional reservations about this, Uzumaki." Mei wasn't backing down. "The Rokubi is the property of Kirigakure, and the Gobi Iwa's. Neither of our villages will take this development lightly."
"After what was just discussed and transpired, I would hope that you all would treat matters regarding the Biju with more care."
All eyes turned to none of the Kage, but to one of the two Akatsuki in the room.
"You have something you want get off your chest, Uchiha?" Ay leered at young man. Normally he'd dismiss Itachi, but given the circumstances and the fact that he had barely said anything all day, the Raikage was slightly curious as to what he had to say.
Itachi slowly opened his eyes and looked at his audience before turning to Naruto. "If you recall, Naruto-kun facilitated Kaguya Ootsutsuki's participation here with the intent to underscore the threats that will be coming our way in the near future. The turn of the events with the Gobi and Rokubi were unexpected, as was her leave. I doubt I am the only one that, while intimidated by her presence, was not fully convinced of the scale of threat Naruto-kun claimed. A scale that supposedly eclipsed what our departed guest claimed to be capable of had she obtained all of the Biju."
All eyes turned to Naruto again, who's bitter smile widened into something more annoyed than anything.
"After underscoring the importance of the Biju to our world, and Kaguya Ootsutsuki's clear aversion towards antagonizing other supposed major parties in other worlds, I can only have a strong suspicion. While you intended for Kaguya to play the role of an otherworlder that we can somewhat comprehend, she wasn't the only overwhelming extraterrestrial force you intended to show us."
"… Haaah." The blonde let out a languished sigh after a tense silence. "Truth be told, I was kinda hoping it wouldn't get to this point. Planned on asking Kagu-baba to teleport us to one world or another herself just to show off what other realities were like. Would have been easier that way."
"Easier?" Hinata swallowed heavily, not liking the sound of that. "Naruto? What are you talking about?"
"Oh boy. We're really going through with it." Minato pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly aware of what was to come and was not particularly fond of it.
"You sound like this wasn't likely to happen in the first place." Kurama grumbled, for once sharing the same opinion as Minato.
He didn't answer her. "Everyone, if you don't mind. I'm going to use a personal jutsu. Some of you recognize it. Basically I'm going to make a pocket dimension within the confines of this room. Nothing crazy about it. Everything's going to just be, white and expansive. A blank reality. Once it's over, we'll all return to the room as if nothing happened."
"I thought you couldn't do any jutsu." Gaara asked.
"Conventional jutsu no. If I try to make a clone in my current state, then I'll be spewing blood all over the place again. But this is more playing with the chakra and natural energy around me with my seventh sense. Crippled or not, I'm still constantly spewing loads of power into the air unconsciously. My body's conditioned to do it to the point that it's practically a passive bodily function. I don't have to mess with what's in my body at all for this." Naruto elaborated before flinching. "Although the headache I'm getting isn't making it easier either."
"How convenient." Ay didn't sound impressed.
"And why do you feel that this technique of yours is necessary, Uzumaki-dono?" Mifune asked, his tone and expression as unreadable as ever. That said, none of the shinobi missed one of his hands twitch ever so slightly towards his sword.
"I need the extra space."
A white haze began to cloud the walls of the room, slowly blanking everything from floor to ceiling. Soon enough, the attendees of the Summit were standing in the middle of a blank expanse with no end visible in any direction.
"Hoh? I remember this." Onoki looked around curiously, less disturbed than most of the other people there. "Uzumaki made his hospital room like this unconsciously when he was recovering from the fight. It was big enough to house the Kyubi's full size in his hospital room without a problem if what I saw was right."
"Is this a genjutsu?" Shibuki asked warily as he examined his surroundings, or lack thereof.
"No. Closer to timespace using wind style as a base. A curious approach." Itachi evenly stated as he looked around with his Sharingan active.
Mei mused. "May I test out the dimensions with a jutsu of my own?"
"So long as it's nothing timespace related. Still working on the durability of this place with regards to that." Naruto nodded before glancing at Minato and Kurama. "Speaking of which."
"We'll help keep it steady for the time being." His father nodded, knowing exactly what his son was getting at and started to meditate alongside the fox.
With a blur of seals, Mei inhaled and shot out a jetstream of water off into the distance that looked like it could tear through steel. The water shot out endlessly and viciously until it faded away from sight, too far to be seen.
She glanced back at Ao, who had stepped behind her protectively.
"Just over a kilometer." He stated factually with his byakugan active under his eyepatch. It wasn't her farthest distance, but it was in line with what was to be expected for this particular technique.
Not satisfied, the Mizukage tried something different. A few seconds later a giant wave of lava burst forth. Deciding to crank it up a notch, Mei redoubled her efforts, turning the giant wave into a literal tsunami of hot death that should NOT have been able to fit inside the meeting room they had all been in. And yet the red molten mass of chakra-infused earth flowed and crashed unimpeded without walls getting in its way. If there were any doubts to Naruto's trick before, there were far less now.
"Whoa." Shibuki took a step back from the intense heat generated by the Mizukage, as did several of the other Jonin there. The rest of the Kage and higher tier individuals there merely watched with some mild interest, barely reacting to the display of power unleashed just a few meters away from them.
"Oh my." Madoka, the only civilian in the room paused, waving his fan in front of his face a bit more than normal to cool himself off as he backed away from the heat more than the others. "So this is what constitutes as a mere test for Kage. How enlightening."
"Somewhat." Hiruzen chuckled lightly next to him. "Though I will admit that Mei-dono has gone a bit further than anticipated."
Range. Chakra disruption. Mass conjuration. Heat intensity. And if his eyes were right, corrosion stress testing as well. The woman was clearly not pleased with the current situation and probably would not have pulled any punches had this particular dimension technique not held up against her scrutiny. And yet, much to her displeasure, other than the lava cooling in front of them on an otherwise blank ground, there were no discernable effects on the world around them.
"Humph. I suppose this peculiar technique of yours is what you claim it is after all." Mei relented with a huff, flicking a bead of lava from her lips.
It really was a humbling moment, when a great load of literal nothing was more impressive than imitating a small volcano. Zabuza was going to have his hands full calming her down later.
"I assume that you won't try to imprison anyone in here?" Konan looked around, her face still as impassive as ever.
"Not unless I intend to be around for the entire time. I'm not good enough for it to last more than a minute or two after I leave. Can't do this with just clones either, so don't worry about that. It takes a certain touch to pull off right." Naruto answered in kind, providing what everyone wanted while being vague on certain details.
"I see."
"Interesting trick." Ay grumbled, barely glancing at the Mizukage's display of power. "Now can we get to the point of all this literal load of nothing?"
"I was getting to that." Naruto rolled his eyes. "Though keep in mind, there was a reason why I was hoping on selling you with Kagu-baba without resorting to this."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Shibuki asked...
Just before Naruto pulled back his lips and whistled loudly, as if calling a dog.
"Squeak?"
And a small dragon thing's silver white head popped out from his blonde hair.
"… Shit." Zabuza aptly summed up the thoughts of everyone there that knew better.
o. o. o.
"Okay. Okay. I'm going to blow all your minds with this one. You're going to want to brace yourselves this time." Dima grinned as he sat at the large table with his third pint of alcohol in hand, talking to the teens and parents that the Oogakari had been driving nuts for the past five years.
He had missed moments like this. More jovial than what he's accustomed to these days, but far less hectic than when he was rolling with Shadow centuries ago. More laughter. More curiosity. Less stress.
"I'm still getting accustomed to the reason why the Second Origin doesn't wear shoes." His grandson grumbled next to him, cheeks flushed after long hitting his limit.
"You're not the only one. Never heard of stepping in shit causing something like that." Tsume chuckled, watching as her son played a "game" with the oddly dressed Skyler. They took turns punching at one another while using Presence to predict and match the other's strikes perfectly. The more rounds that passed, the faster the strikes. Apparently it was called "matching hands" and was a common way to practice with others.
"Spill it old man. What's the secret?" Asuma grinned with a cigarette in his mouth.
"Heh." Dima smirked and leaned forward. "Sky Mother strike me down if I'm lying, but twice a year give or take, those five nutjobs go out, and I kid you not…"
He paused for dramatic effect, making everyone lean forward to one degree or another.
"… They willingly see a professional shrink."
"BULLSHIT!" Virtually everyone there shouted as one.
THWAP!
Kiba mistimed a counter strike and took one of Skyler's fists straight to the face.
"Mother fucker! That didn't count and you know it!"
"'s true. I was one of the first that was told about it. I thought the universe was going sideways then. Hell, my wife at the time actually did pass out from the shock." Dima chuckled at the memory.
"Grandma Anna?" Specks asked curiously.
"No this was before I met Anna. Back when I was still with Cynthia."
"Hmm? So Ghost isn't the only one with a peculiar relationship history." Kurenai probed. "Tell me, how does that work? I thought you lot were immortal. Or close enough. Why does it seem like none of you can keep a marriage going?"
"You mean other than the fact that most conventional immortal human marriages don't last a full millennia?" The old bald man snorted sarcastically before taking another swig of alcohol.
"That bad?" Choji grimaced, uncomfortable with the topic.
"Relax, most don't explode due to devolving relationships." Dima elaborated with a dismissive wave. "The problem is human nature. Those that get together young rarely last longer than a few centuries. They aren't used to just how long "forever" really is. Nearly everyone that "settles down" wind up calling it quits early. The monotony is literal torture after the first century, with or without a loved one. Stimulus is needed to actually feel alive. Just like how you see those geezers working well past retirement age. They'd crash if they stopped doing something."
"Which leaves the non-monotonous lifestyles. I can see where this is going." Asuma sighed, puffing out some smoke in the process.
"Immortality, or just decent longevity, hits everyone differently eventually. Sooner or later, everyone branches out and experiments to keep things fresh. Sometimes far enough that being in a conventional relationship just doesn't cut it anymore."
"Including you?" Shikamaru asked warily.
"Hm? Me? Oh no. I was lucky. Sane rational women the entire time. Death is what cut things short for me."
"You sound far too pleased and proud for someone that just said you outlived your spouse." Kurenai deadpanned.
"Spouses. Three of them. And they all lived happy, without regrets, and didn't try to shove anything up my ass." Dima held his ground firmly. "I think I did quite well for myself. I am a rare breed that sought only sane and rational women."
"I'm starting to see why immortality isn't more widespread." Shikamaru noted, getting many others to nod in agreement.
"Didn't Grandmother say you were a shameless manwhore when you were young?" Specks asked skeptically.
"Sane and rational women the entire time." Dima repeated himself while tightening his grip on his grandson's shoulder to the point that one could hear bones creaking.
"You'd think with how unhinged you claim things are that unplanned death would be more common of a reason for ending relationships." Jiraiya mused.
Dima scoffed. "Death? It's all over the place, like an annoying background noise. If you live long enough and meet enough people, you won't be able to last a month without hearing of an old friend or twelve getting the sweet release. Marriage or not. There's some scary bastards out there. Sometimes you get a heads-up. Sometimes they just show up on your doorstep while you're out getting your mail with coffee in hand. More often than not you can't do shit about it until you're already neck deep in it."
His own homeworld was a great example. Plenty of warning before shit hit the fan, what with the sky turning black over the course of a year before everything literally disappeared, but very little anyone could do about it. Full planet population evacuations weren't easy things to pull off.
"Barring death, most immortal relationships usually end up in divorce, or the standard less than savory nightmarish endings where at least one party is rendered neither alive nor dead. Those that do manage to keep it, and themselves, together and alive for eons are flat out the minority. A rare group they are… and stupidly oblivious too. They usually don't understand that they're the exception to the rule when everyone gets annoyed at their constant public displays of affection. More annoying than Ghost, those idiots."
"Okay, but why though?" Kurenai pressed with a frown. "You're supposed to be super powered monsters with other worldly knowledge and experience. It shouldn't be that hard to stay alive or stay together if you've managed to figure out how to live theoretically forever."
"That's assuming that both of us are immortal." Dima corrected. "That's not always the case. Love is annoying like that sometimes, and not everyone can handle immortality well. Statistically, a good third of humans that do get it, call it quits before they see four digits in age. After a certain point, simply living is akin to a game of endurance to some. Besides, reliable immortality is harder to come across than you'd think. The Presence based version is a right pain to achieve. Only a percent of a percent manage to pull it off. Most users only double or triple their expected lifespans."
Oh sure there were other ways to live forever. Curses. Potions. Messing with one's soul and general existence. Body swapping. And more. However most available methods tended to wear down the soul something fierce to the point that by the time the first century passed, the person in question was either a completely different individual or stark raving mad.
Well, the Family were stark raving mad, but that was more due to their exceptional personal experiences and history. Not as a consequence of their extended existences.
"Wait. Are you saying that we…" Shikamaru froze in horror.
"Are already set to live an unnaturally long and healthy life so long as someone doesn't shank you? One that the local populace will without question eventually notice? Yes. My condolences, little Deer." Dima smirked.
"… Troublesome." He better teach Presence to Temari sooner rather than later. If he procrastinated and she showed signs of aging before he did, there was going to be absolute hell to pay.
"As for Ghost's case, I bet you're all somewhat curious about why he hasn't tried to snag someone with a more compatible lifespan eventually. Most have asked that eventually. Usually because he does tend to tone it down a bit when committed." The old man went on absently. "Truth be told, he has. His second wife was immortal in all the ways that mattered. Problem was that some… exceptionally unforeseen and unfortunate circumstances took place that took her. With disastrous aftereffects."
Considering he personally got shafted from said disaster, he was understating it.
Dima counted on his fingers. "Anya, his third wife, was actually a very good friend of Shadow's and mine before she met Ghost. A strong and wild woman. But she put her foot down when it came to living forever. She flat out didn't want it, and Ghost respected it. Simple as that."
He was actually the godfather to several of their kids.
"His fourth wife's still… around. Not alive, but… around. One of the most powerful women I've ever met too, even by Family standards. Strongest he's ever went out with. It's rare to see a woman, or anyone for that matter, match hands with Waltz and hold their own for more than half a round. Let alone eighty seven."
You didn't come across a woman that could casually slice stars apart with an oversized claymore every day. And that was before she fully mastered her Presence. And she came complete with a cheap overpowered demonic lineage power boost. Some people were just born overpowered.
"No kidding?" Asuma mused, clearly impressed. "Damn. Would have loved to see her smack Ghost around to get him to shut up."
"You and everyone else. She was royalty at that. Direct in line when they met, and full fledged Queen by the end of it. Castle, territory and everything. Actually she ruled her entire reality once everything calmed down there."
"No." Kurenai balked. The idea of Ghost getting directly involved in politics, being in charge of everything was a sobering and horrifying idea. "Ghost was a genuine King?"
"Hah! Hell no." Dima smirked. "Queen's consort. The official boy toy of the bitch in charge. And he damn well went out of his way to let everyone know it. Calling him a King freaked him out more than it did everyone else."
He took a deep gulp from his drink. "So, naturally, we treated him like the royal ass he was every chance we got. Caused a ton of chaos in his name no less just to piss him off."
Meaning that the "royal king" got saddled with the "royal bill" every time they went out for a gathering. Totally worth it. Dima had one hell of a sweet seven hundredth birthday party.
And then his smile faded. "We thought they'd be together for at least a couple millennia. The two had that "opposites attract" chemistry thing going on, keeping in check the worst of their respective habits. They lasted a good five hundred years no problem. And then, things happened."
"Things do tend to happen." Shikamaru mused, not intending to press further than that. If the situation was that bad by Oogakari standards, then odds are it would just go over most of their heads.
Dima continued. "Arianna had priorities that she couldn't ignore. Priorities that even Ghost and the others couldn't fix themselves. And, she did something that couldn't be taken back or fixed. And they had to go their own ways."
He was clearly skimming over ninety nine percent of the details to make it sound less bad than it already was, but the point and weight of the matter still sunk in something fierce.
"That's the problem when it comes to matching up the monstrously powerful. They tend to have their own priorities and prerogatives separate from their spouses. Obligations that can't be ignored, even for love. And sometimes, their respective obligations don't mesh well, and there isn't a simple answer that can satisfy all parties. It's like matching, what do you call them? Kages, right. It's like trying to set up two of your Kage together. Just because they're hitched doesn't mean that their jobs are over."
"Wait. I thought Ghost was married five times?" Choji frowned in confusion.
"Oh, Sasha? His fifth wife? Yeah. She was a straight up civilian. As normal as they could get. Nice, simple, down to earth woman. The sort that nobody could hate unless they were desperate to find something. Or a complete piece of shit." Dima waved off her existence absently. "She took up some experimental immortality procedure to stay longer with Ghost. It didn't work. And she died."
Clearly there was more to it than that, but none of the shinobi bothered to press the matter. It wasn't their business.
"So other than the flaws of immortality, what else do we have to watch out for when dealing with people from the outside?" Kurenai asked.
"What else? Try everything." The old man scoffed, rolling his eyes and grimacing. "You will run into every toxic political topic you can imagine run rampant, and then be blamed for being the extreme of all sides in the same breath. Sexism. Elitism. Religion. Excuses for racism on so many levels just thinking about it makes you nauseous. Wealth. Health. Power gaps. Nationalism. Planetism. Mental welfare. Pacifists vs pretty much everyone. Militarists vs pretty much everyone. Basically, if you haven't found a reason to stab someone yet, you haven't been with them long enough. It'll rewrite your dictionary of how stupid and shallow people and cultures can get."
"If it's that bad, then how does the Family get it to work?" Jiraiya probed, clearly interested as someone that has grappled with these sorts of issues for decades.
"Easy. You just dump them all together in front of a very scary monster that they don't have a shot in hell of dealing with, tell them that if they don't get their shit together they're gonna die, and let them sort themselves out. Reality rarely gives two shits about petty ideologies."
"That seems rather, crude." Kruenai frowned.
"To be fair, we only do it to the unbearably annoying pricks that won't leave everyone alone."
"So Ghost?"
"Surprisingly no. Ghost's an ass, but he just throws everyone's shit in their own faces, reminds them of it when it's relevant, and then tells them "I told you so" when their beliefs and mistakes cause serious problems that could have been easily avoided." Dima shrugged. "He never actually forces his beliefs or logic onto anyone like the assholes I mention. He's just, well, annoying."
"Well when you put it like that… no, no I can still see people trying to also throw him into the monster pit regardless." Jiraiya thoughtfully pondered the scenario.
"Congratulations. You passed the test." The old man smirked. "Rule number eleven of the Family. Never be surprised if Ghost is stuck or thrown in a life threatening situation. Odds are, he let it happen on purpose."
"I wish I could be surprised. I really do." Kurenai deadpanned.
"Trying to kill Ghost for the sake of it aside, what if the rest of the other troublesome ones still don't get along after that?" Shikamaru pushed. "People don't change that easily. Especially the stubborn ones. And it sounds like you save that sort of treatment for the real problem cases."
Dima smirked. It was a cruel grin that sent shivers down everyone's spines. "Isn't it obvious? Either cut them loose, or just keep doing it over and over until they learn that they aren't as strong as they like to believe, or they die. This is the multiverse after all. If they can't handle the fact that there ARE bigger fish out there that won't budge an inch even if they bring an army, then they might as well stick to their little puddle and pretend their personal opinions actually matter."
The list of planets, let alone people, who are actually vital to the multiverse is short... And yet, annoying pricks were always surprised when they weren't part of that list.
Seeing that fact sink into those that were being a pain in the ass was always good for a cheap cathartic laugh.
More so when they realize that the Family have the biggest "fish" of them all.
Of course, said fish rarely gives a damn about them either, but that was besides the point.
o. o. o.
"You're joking." Ay glared at the palm sized lizard as it lazily looked at everyone from Naruto's head. "Your last resort is this tiny thing?"
"Bro, I know you rarely depend on luck. But please listen when I tell you, shut the fuck up." Bee half hissed half pleaded with his brother, standing stiff as though moving and drawing any attention to himself would get them all killed.
"Bee?" The Raikage glanced at his brother with some curiosity and irritation. It was a rare occurrence when the latter flat out told him to do something so bluntly or crudely. Much less in public for that matter.
It didn't take him longer than an instant to see the man he saw as family standing as still as possible and literally in a cold sweat.
A few glances elsewhere revealed that every single jinchuriki save for Naruto was in the same state as Bee. All of them were terrified in a way that completely overwhelmed their training and ability to hide their emotions.
"Zabuza? Is there anything you want to tell me?" Mei frowned, noting that Haku, while not as paralyzed as her master, was also incredibly troubled by this development.
"I hate the kid." The swordsman never took his eyes off of Naruto and Zuzushi.
"With context. If possible." She bluntly demanded, glancing briefly at Ao. The man with the stolen Byakugan gave a brief and shallow shake of the head, indicating that he couldn't see what was amiss. "That's the Oogakari's dragon, if I recall. No?"
The man gave a bitter scoff as his body twitched. "Publicly, yeah. In reality, it's the opposite."
"The opposite?" Shibuki frowned before realizing what the man had said. "Wait, you're saying the Oogakari belong to her?"
"If what I'm told's right? Everything does." The swordsman grimaced. "If you want to believe this multiverse bullshit, then let me tell you something of particular note that I skipped before because it was never relevant to bring up. The Oogakari? Those assholes? In the grand scheme of things, they have one, and only one job that anybody gives a damn about and everyone knows. It isn't maintaining their territory, keeping us lowly mouth breathers alive, or keeping the peace among idiots that can't go two steps without setting something on fire."
He nodded to Zuzushi. "Their job is to keep that monster in check. Everything else is inconsequential."
For the briefest of moments, a pair of burning pink eyes made contact with Zabuza's.
That moment felt like an eternity, one that seemed to peel and strip him apart layer by layer, leaving him exposed in a way that genuinely made him reexamine every portion of his physical and metaphorical existence.
And then the moment past. The dragon lost interest. And he was intact once more.
"You idiot." Isobu hissed from inside his soul.
"You couldn't have brought something safer with you instead brat?" Zabuza ignored his biju. "Like one of those infinite breeding tentacle monsters you were ranting about? Or one of those monsters that transforms people into other species if you look at them?"
"They don't keep well in seals." Naruto shamelessly excused himself. "Anything that couldn't be dismissed as an experiment or a genjutsu are a pain to maintain or too dangerous to transport."
"And she isn't?" Roshi all but hissed.
"No she is, but she's also lazy."
Whack!
A silver tail smacked the back of Naruto's head.
"Ow! Okay okay fine. Lazy and easily bribed." Naruto corrected himself.
A slow and curious growl emanated from the small monster.
"I told you remember? If you help out with this I'll set up that summons only fight club we were talking about with you as the patron sponsor, a private box, and the title cup in your likeness."
"… Squeak." Everyone could almost hear the "oh yeah" in her reply, as if she was just recalling that supposed conversation.
"You still can't eat the losers. Or execute them. Or order the victor to execute them."
"Squeh." Her mood clearly and visibly dropped at the second reminder.
"Summons only fight club?" Shizune deadpanned. She now worried for the future of the animal clans, even if she wasn't a contractor.
"We've said too much. The masses should be ignorant." Naruto whispered ominously.
"Hissss." The dragon agreed.
Reality twisted ever so slightly. Impressions redirected. The festival's existence relegated.
"I find it rather hard to believe that such a small creature warrants such a significant reaction." Mei mused, as if completely forgetting that they had just been talking about a super powered animal fight club.
Most of those that knew Presence in the room looked around, clearly aware of what had just happened, but wisely kept their mouths shut.
All the more proof to go along with this disaster in the making.
Kurama rolled his eyes. "Stop looking with your eyes you stupid monkeys. Or do you really think the current "me" you see is the Kyubi?"
Everyone glanced at the small shin high fox sitting next to Naruto, and got the point of his argument almost instantly.
Everyone except Zuzushi, who was looking around the blank expanse curiously before glancing at Naruto with a skeptical glint in her eyes. "… Squeak?"
Naruto sulked. "Have you noticed the state I'm in? Considering the fact that I only managed to learn how to do this half a year ago, I'd say this is a pretty good job all things considered."
"Chirp."
"Well I'm sorry I decided to focus on refining abilities and skills that I could reliably use rather than delve into a field that I'm still getting a hold of that could potentially land me in another reality if I'm not careful. I was supposed to be on vacation." He held his argument sarcastically.
"Squeak squeh."
"Oh don't give me that bullshit. Outer God Acolytes are so far beyond the standard for what was expected here that I'm still surprised I had to deal with that disaster myself. The fact that I'm still intact and remotely sane after that shit show should be a point in my favor. Not yours."
"Snort."
"That has absolutely nothing to do with this!" Naruto snapped, a small fountain of blood spurting from his neck due to the stress.
"Naruto? Care to divulge what's going on for those that don't speak palm sized dragon god?" Tsunade asked skeptically.
"Tch." Sulking, the teen calmed down slightly, allowing for Hinata to approach and heal his latest wound. "It's nothing important. She's just making fun of me because my pocket dimension is apparently so feeble that, and I quote, "it will fall apart the moment anyone breathes on it funny". The fact that I'm a wind specialist was taken into account in that regard."
If anyone saw the dragon on his head smirk at him in petty amusement, nobody mentioned it.
"Specialty or not, I do see faults in this peculiar technique." Itachi broke his silence as he looked around with red eyes.
"What part of "I'm half dead and still figuring this shit out" doesn't anyone understand?" Everyone pretended to ignore the teen's twitching eyebrow and shaking fist. "Raw space manipulation isn't exactly easy to learn from scratch you know. Much less on the spot pocket fabrication. Especially when you don't have any cheap body parts, natural affinity, or lineage to carry you through the hardest parts."
While normally everyone would only pay his ranting half a mind, the fact that Naruto was starting to sway like a drunk as he spoke warranted more attention. In fact…
"Naruto, are you alright?" Hinata held him by his shoulders to steady him before he tipped over.
"Alright? What are you?" Naruto looked at her skeptically before blinking. Then blinking several more times. "Ah. Guess not. Everything's getting blurry."
"Squeh."
"Thanks for stating the obvious." He muttered before glancing at his crutch. With more effort than he'd like, the medical support floated to his grasp, and he started to lean on it heavily. "In case you haven't noticed, my body's in a bit of a condition at the moment."
The pink eyed dragon looked down at him skeptically for a moment before narrowing her eyes as if trying to see something deeper.
Seconds later she clearly and audibly clicked her tongue in annoyance.
"Sqeaaaaak."
With a tired sigh, as if resigning herself to a chore that she had been putting off, Zuzushi slowly picked herself up from Naruto's head. Stretching and arcing her back like a cat, she yawned as if to underscore just how beneath her this all was.
And then she shook her body like a dog, ejecting and spraying a very small and fine cloud of pearl like dust that reflected an ethereal range of colors in every direction.
"What the?" Shibuki, much like everyone else there braced themselves as the substance rushed past them and disappeared into the blank expanse, seemingly doing nothing. "What was that about?"
"No clue." Ay frowned, inspecting himself, only to find no evidence of the material on himself.
"No." Itachi frowned, Sharingan still active and scanning his surroundings. "The technique's integrity has been enforced. Substantially so."
"How much." Konan asked, curious.
"… Enough to prove a sufficient point." The Uchiha evasively replied, his eyes slightly narrowing as he continued his inspection.
Translation: "I could break out of it before. Now I can't."
Zuzushi lazily inspected her audience while completely ignoring the looks she was on the receiving end of. Sitting properly now, she appeared vastly more imperial and regal in demeanor, as if she had just started to pay attention to the world around her. Her posture, her gaze, her breathing, her power. With every passing second, she was becoming something greater than she was before… or rather, she was exposing more of what she truly was.
It was a hypnotic phenomenon to witness in person.
Effortlessly and elegantly, Zuzushi's tail lifted behind her as if it was a flawless existence in its own self.
Snap.
With a faint crack that was akin to a snap of the fingers, a small wave rushed past everyone, not unlike the dust of powder from earlier. Only this time…
"What?"
"How did…?"
"This is unexpected."
"Oh boy."
Behind each and every Jinchuriki present, a Biju sat surprised in their full glory, towering over the humans standing in the center, and just as confused.
"What the hell is going on?!" Ay shouted, ready to fight at a moment's notice like the bulk of those there. "Hokage?!"
"I don't know either!" Tsunade prepared as well, just in case everyone's panicking led to disaster.
"Brat?! Explain!" Onoki turned on Naruto, clearly annoyed with the turn of events.
"O-oh." Madoka stammered as he took in the Biju around him. As the sole civilian, the sheer scale of the monsters and their power would have rendered him unconscious had Hiruzen not steadied him at the last moment. "So, these are the fabled Biju. Clearly the rumors of them and their majesty were insultingly, insufficient."
In other words, whatever everyone said about the Biju didn't accurately portray how absurdly terrifying they were in person.
"Calm down. The lot of you." Kurama, now in his full form with his massive head hanging over Naruto and his group. His deep voice and annoyed tone indicating that he, unlike almost everyone else, was not that surprised or worried about their situation. "Pay attention you stupid monkeys. None of us are foolish enough to act out in the presence of the Sky Mother."
Indeed, the Biju present were more occupied with the dragon still sitting on Naruto's head than debating the merits of rampaging and murder at the moment.
"… To think that dealing with that brat would land us face to face with the big boss herself. I knew humans weren't worth the trouble." Shukaku laughed humorlessly, but not daring to move otherwise.
"The Relentless Queen." Matatabi shivered in such a way that all her flames quivered visibly.
"Immaculate…" Isobu sounded hypnotized.
"… Ma'am." Son Goku swallowed and bowed his head irreverently.
"Lucky." Choumei's wings twitched erratically.
"I stand corrected Bee. Your stupidity isn't what will get us all killed." Gyuki gave a strained shit eating grin that threatened to tear his face in half.
"Heh." Naruto bit out a laugh, grabbing the attention of everyone there.
"What's so funny brat?" Ay scowled.
"It's ironic." He noted with a somewhat stressed fox like grin. "Most of the humans here are stunned at the Biju, but the Biju are just as freaked about her royal highness on my skull."
"Squeak?" Somehow, even the dragon's high pitched noises sounded more elegant and refined now.
"No, I wasn't saying you look like Khorne. The fact that I have multiple voices in my head does not imply multiple skulls for the skull throne."
"Squeak."
"Or your skull throne." He deadpanned.
"Squeak."
"Sorry. Your skull thrones." He rolled his eyes. "Seriously when was the last time you even used any of those things?"
"Squeak?"
The teen sighed and rolled his eyes. "No. I suppose it doesn't really matter in the end what you do with your possessions." Seriously, it was like talking to Gilgamesh sometimes.
He was about to say something else when a wave of vertigo overwhelmed him and the world felt like it was going sideways for a moment before a force steadied him.
"Ngh." He blinked as Hinata braced him from the side. "Hey, I don't suppose that was someone's doing, was it?"
"No, I don't think so." His girlfriend denied with some concern.
"Squeak." Zuzushi dismissively scoffed.
"Yeah, I thought so. We might want to hurry this then." He grimaced.
"Yo Nine. Not to bust in the moment, but you don't look too fine." Bee, one of the few people there that wasn't absolutely spooked and put off by the situation, spoke up.
Indeed. It didn't take an Uchiha to tell that something was amiss with Naruto if his paling complexion was any indication. The small bit of blood running from his nose was also a bit of a give away.
"I'm not going to be able to stay awake for much longer. This is hitting me harder than I thought it would." The blonde smirked bitterly. "Hey, your majesty. Shall we give them the show now?"
The small dragon on his head gave him a dismissive snort and what appeared to be a languished sigh before the wings on her back extended elegantly to either side of her thin lithe body.
With her frame on full display, the immaculate luster of her silver white pearl-like scales was more apparent than ever. The faint oil-like rainbow sheen that flickered between colors (though frequently reverting to the familiar pink that everyone saw) like an illusion, gave her an alien beauty. One that gave the impression that at least part of her very being originated from a place not of this world. The threads of her mane that traveled down the back of her head and upper spine shone in a similar substance, perfectly accentuating the small but sharp ivory horns that she possessed and her burning pink eyes.
With a heavy flap downwards, the small beast flew up into the blank white air, travelling further and further away until she quickly faded from sight.
"Here we go." Naruto muttered under his breath with a bitter smile.
"She's vanished." Ao frowned, his byakugan active. "It's not simply distance. It's like she slipped into a fold into the sky itself."
Itachi didn't say anything, but agreed none the less. But then something else caught his attention in the opposite direction. "… Around us."
Indeed, even though they were in a supposedly blank space, a notable cloud was starting to form around them, somehow blurring the blank expanse further.
"Uzumaki! What's going on?!" Ay snapped, his chakra rising in order to combat any unexpected issues that might come his way
"Relax. We're just getting the royal tour." Naruto chuckled at a joke that only he seemed to understand.
It was like going through a cloud. Aimlessly entering through one side, and coming out the other…
BOOM!
They were in the middle of a city only Naruto had ever seen before, on top of one of many buildings that towered over most mountains, large enough for all of them including the Biju to stand on top of with room to spare. The materials used in their construction were vastly different and more refined than what was used in the Elemental Nations.
BOOM!
As were the weapons firing below and above.
Tanks positioned in order to fire heavy payloads. Soldiers wearing armor so massive they shouldn't have the strength to move, who wielded guns that fired bullets endlessly. Planes so advanced that the shinobi had no idea how they functioned and flew that streaked across the sky above them, unleashing their own unique payloads on the enemy.
It was a demonstration of firepower that vastly surpassed what the shinobi world could produce in quantity and quality.
And yet the wave of what could only be described as aliens that swept in like a force of nature was even more overwhelming.
Beasts of blades, spines, acid and chitin crawled, flew, rolled, and rampaged throughout the city, destroying any flesh or mechanical obstacle in their path. Each and every drooling and screaming monstrosity was an abomination beyond anything seen in the shinobi world, an epitome of nightmares that seemed to have no end in sight.
"Is this an illusion?" Madoka looked around gobsmacked, unsure of what exactly he was witnessing.
"… No. If anything, we're the illusions here. Somehow." Itachi corrected.
"Hoooh? Isn't this a surprise? I had thought that this Mingsk had come up with something new when I felt this new energy, but instead I see a familiar face."
And then an even greater horror slowly descended upon them from above.
"Hey Kerrigan. Long time no see. Did I catch you at a bad time?" Naruto looked up to see what could only be described as a hybrid of human and monster landing on a rooftop near them. Clearly modeled after a human female, but wreathed in fleshy purple chitin, her hair consisting of nothing but leg like tentacles, and absolutely radiating with a power that was not chakra, but still clearly dangerous and immense enough to put all the tailed beasts present on edge.
"Queen of Blades." Kurama politely greeted the newcomer.
Sarah Kerrigan, member of the Family, chuckled as she slowly walked towards the peculiar group of humans and biju alike. With each step her body and frame seemed to mutate into something more familiar. "Haha. Of course not. I was just cleaning up things here. Rather, shouldn't I be more curious about your unexpected arrival? Especially in your condition?"
By the time she stopped speaking, the woman would have passed for a human with normal skin, jeans, boots, a tank top with leather jacket, and normal hair.
However, the power radiating from her and her eyes did not abate in the slightest.
"Just giving everyone here a brief tour from the scary purse herself. The first of far too many if you get the idea." Naruto grinned.
"Is that right?" The Queen of Blades mused as she took in the reactions of her new audience. "Well then. Pleased to meet you all, and I hope you aren't too put off by my swarm. They are a rather ravenous lot."
"… Your swarm?" Onoki swallowed heavily as he saw the monsters overtake the humans there. "There's more?"
"Multiverse theory says there's always more." The woman smirked. "But if you're referring to my massacre of the people here, don't worry. They were doomed from the start. Their leader's one that I have a long and personal history with. Whenever I need to do some expanding, or need to vent on something that deserves to bleed profusely, I try to go for the realities where the populace is too far gone to be worth protecting."
Everyone tried to not acknowledge the countless dying screams of men and women in the background.
"Though I must admit, I am impressed Naruto. These, Biju you called them, are quite abundant in energy. Moreso than I expected. Your home planet must have greater natural energy deposits than I had assumed." She turned her attention to the wary monsters that towered over her. "If this is what you've been dealing with this whole time, I might have to give your home a visit when I have the time and things cool down."
The fact that she licked her lips at the end sent chills down the Biju's spines.
"Sarah, can you tone it down a bit? We've had enough traumatic revelations as it is today." Naruto was the only one there that didn't seem to be bothered by the woman's future plans.
"Hmhm. Fine. Fine. You're lucky you're still cute kid." She crossed her arms and smirked before her eyes slightly hardened. "That said, maybe you could enlighten me about some peculiar rumors originating from your neck of the woods?"
"I don't gossip. I merely laugh at what other people say." Judging from his emotionless tone, it was a response he had practiced ahead of time.
She rolled her eyes, completely ignoring the swarm of flying monsters that brushed past the building they were on with a chorus of agonizing howls. "Haaa. Fine. Be like that if you must. Can you at least tell me if I actually have to prepare for something? You know that the potential fallout from these things can get out of hand whenever Ghost is involved, even if they are wrong."
"Preaching to the choir." He waved her off. "Relax. The bulk of what happened is all on me. You know how Ero-Nii is. The asshole makes an art of turning his bad luck into some stupid show of his own "devious design". It's not like his habit of abusing people that assume everything is his fault is a secret. Anyone with a brain knows he judges others on their ability to not fall for the kneejerk reaction of blaming him for everything bad that happens when he's around."
Those that didn't know wisely kept their mouths shut and filed that information away for later.
"That's what I figured, but it pays to be certain. The few times he does start something on purpose, reality tends to collapse on your head. Literally." The woman scratched her head with a tired sigh. "Honestly, that man. And to think I once complained that Jim could be a chore…!?"
At once she, Naruto, the Biju and every other Presence user turned their heads to where what appeared the capital building of the city was being besieged, just before it erupted in an eerie blue light, soon followed by a horrifying roar that belonged to something that did not come from this realm.
"Hoh? Hybrids right under your feet Mingsk? And here I thought that this reality would be boring." Already forgetting her audience, Kerrigan quickly began to mutate back into her Zerg form.
"Don't mind us. Looks like we're about to leave too." Naruto yawned as a familiar white mist began to enshroud his group. "Happy hunting!"
"Swarm! Hunt the abominations!"
"Yeah, she sounds happy." The world faded away just as a titanic starship crashed down to the earth in the distance.
o. o. o.
Three more realities were visited in quick succession.
One a world of martial artists, wielding raw physical skills that dwarfed anything the shinobi there could fathom and tearing apart the landscape in the process.
One a world filled with advanced technology and magic that was beyond comprehension. Floating towers and ships reaching into the boundless skies that defied all logic in their majesty and splendor, passively wielding power that was in complete contrast to what was known of Chakra. It could almost be considered a preview of what could be theirs in the future.
One world, a domain of eldritch beasts and tentacles. Monsters that should not and could not survive in their world. Appendages and organs that made no comprehensive sense, uttering in bubbling languages that were indecipherable to humans, had they not known Presence.
And yet temples and structures littered the twisted landscape, an ode to deities that made no comprehensive sense to the brief visitors that witnessed a world that was completely incompatible with their own.
In fact Naruto managed to hold a brief conversation with one of the titans that dwarfed even the Bijuu. He had warned the others to cover their ears beforehand. Something about reducing the risk of growing tentacles later.
Shinobi and Biju alike found themselves once more in a flowing cloud of indecipherable colors, moving in a direction none could properly decipher.
"Hah. Hah."
Most of their attention however gravitated towards the one responsible for their current situation.
"Doesn't look like he's going to last much longer." Zabuza frowned as he noted the blood dripping from Naruto's nose as the latter breathed laboriously and leaned heavily on his crutch. "And here I thought his stamina could outlast a Biju."
"Keeping, this up, is hard, when she's here." The blonde in question panted while Hinata and Tsunade tried to keep him in passable shape with their medical expertise.
"How much longer will this be?" Tsunade frowned. "You really are going to kill yourself at this rate, pushing yourself like this."
"Last stop. Grand finale."
"Why does that not fill me with positive feelings?" Shibuki shivered and looked around nervously.
"Look down." Minato advised, clearly seeing something that everyone else had missed.
More than a few were tempted to resist his suggestion. They were either far past convinced of Naruto's proclamations, or had reached the limit of new stimuli they could tolerate, or both.
But eventually they all looked down all the same.
It was a peculiar sight. Something like a hologram, or like peering into the uncharted depths of a deep sea if the sea was comprised of thick unknown gases. And yet they could see a city through it all. Whether it was an illusion or reality they couldn't tell anymore, but the structures and vehicles moving about were apparent for everyone to see.
Then the sea of gas shifted, alongside the city, as the tide below them decided to flow.
A new image. A jungle filled with animals and beasts that they never saw the like of before.
Another shift.
An alien landscape of stone and peculiar fauna. It was obvious from the smaller scale that their perspective was changing now.
An alien ocean.
A kingdom.
A country.
A planet surrounded by artificial satellites.
A solar system with an intergalactic armada.
Galaxies.
A universe.
And then…
"Wait. This shifting…" The Mizukage's eyes widend in surprise as the milky white gases below her took on a familiar hue of colors.
It was an oily, ethereal irregular splay of rainbow like colors… that tilted towards pink.
Another shift, dipping down and pulling up like a wave. And another.
"They're… that can't be." Onoki started slowly, unsure of where his mind is going.
"Scales." Gaara swallowed, as another wave, no, another junction between the ridges between scales passed below them. "Those worlds. Those universes. They're in her scales."
A beast armored by an immaculate lattice of reality. No, a beast so grand, she spawned endless faces of reality merely by existing. She was a macro-chasm on the greatest scale in her own right. Generating countless interpretations of what was "real" on a scale that dwarfed even what was expected by omnipotent gods.
What sort of name or title could be used to remotely come close to describing such a monstrosity?
Everyone looked at Naruto, who without question knew about this horrifying fact and the implications of this revelation. To look for an answer, explanation, or just to hear him say something at all.
Instead, they saw him looking not down, but far off into a new direction up and ahead.
By the time they had gotten second thoughts, it was too late.
Looking off into the distance, it was akin to standing just below the upper membrane of clouds. The skies above them were a peculiar sight, littered with lights and colors belonging to realms and formations that were beyond what they could make sense of. The sights were too enshrouded in mystery and fog to see clearly.
And then, the sky slowly began to change, much like it did whenever the sun rose and set, altering the colors and nature of the world.
Slowly, they started to see something far, far in the distance.
Farther than a mountain.
Farther than the other side of the sea.
Farther than the moon.
Farther than the sun.
Farther than the sky and stars themselves, and yet still grand and majestic enough to repaint it all the same.
They could only see a part of it from where they were. A miniscule fraction of an absolute entity beyond their ability to judge the scale of. Ridges. A slit. More eldritch silvers, rainbows and pinks that seemed to bleed out into the space around it.
A portion of a familiar beast slowly and lazily rose from the clouds, close enough for them to witness, but so far away that an eternity's worth of travelling would not see them close the gap in the slightest.
Soon enough, half the sky in front of them was consumed by the mass of reality and flesh that they could not properly identify.
"Ladies and Gentlemen." Minato quietly and gravely spoke. "The Sky Mother."
As if on cue, one of the titanic walls scales twitched and shifted just the slightest crack.
And then everything went Pink.
o. o. o.
By the time they had come to, everyone was inside the council chambers in Iron once more. Unharmed. Unscathed. Unmoved.
"Hah. Hah." Naruto panted heavily, his eyes glazed over and blood leaking from his eyes, nose, and mouth. The slightest flicker of silver disappearing into his hair before anyone had the opportunity to focus on him.
"Do you all finally get my point? Because I'm not doing… that… again…"
He was already falling to the ground before he had finished talking.
Before he hit the stone floor, he was caught by Minato.
"… I believe that we should take a recess. At least for the day." He calmly recommended without looking at anyone. "In the back sections of the documents we handed out are notes that Naruto and I made regarding what each of the villages could contribute and how they could benefit from participating in our new village project. To satisfy your concerns in particular Raikage, Kumo was to be the center of electricity based technology development and macro scale engineering projects. Anyone that's been to Kumo knows that your village has some of the best construction engineers in the elemental nations. With proper cooperation and management, we'd expect the Land of Lightning to be among the most technologically advanced country in the Elemental Nations within fifteen to twenty years. The sort of location that the greatest minds all over would flock to without the need for heavy handed methods Kumo is currently known for."
Ay didn't say anything. He didn't look at anyone either. He was too busy glaring at the floor with his hands clenched tightly into fists.
Minato continued, lifting up his son carefully so that Hinata (who was also clearly shaken but nowhere near as badly as most of the others), could treat him. "We, Naruto really, was going to review a bit of that and more today, but given the circumstances… it would be best if we resumed these discussions at a later date. If you still have any questions that you feel need to be answered in private, please feel free to ask."
"That, thing." Onoki cut in, his old voice rasped and tore through the room like sandpaper. "You claim something as nightmarish as that, is on our side?"
The dead Kage paused before smiling sadly. "No, Tsuchikage. I'm afraid that you already know the answer to that question. Naruto wasn't trying to convince you to believe something as petty and selfish as that. He's a realist."
"… Feh." The old man spat and looked away. "Monsters. The lot of them. I really am too old for this sort of disaster."
Mei and Gaara looked like they each wanted to say something as well, but thought better of it. There really wasn't much else to say for that matter.
Zuzushi wasn't on their side. She was a side, and one far bigger than theirs.
Either they would willingly join her side, the side of endless armies, worlds, resources, dreams and nightmares… or be left behind and forgotten.
And, most humbling of all, was that whatever they decided to do had absolutely no impact or effect on the monster at all.
The entirety of the Elemental Nations, containing millions of civilians, shinobi, soldiers, and samurai alike, were just being invited along for the ride out of pure mutual convenience.
Finally, the leaders and elites of the shinobi world sympathized with their Konoha counterparts, knowing down to their bones why the blonde jinchuriki frustrated them so much.
Knowing just how much well intentioned trouble he brought wherever he went.
Knowing that no matter what he did, he was always saddling himself with something disastrous in a way that others wouldn't find out until it was too late.
… Damn it, Naruto.
o. o. o.
Omake: What Kushina was doing:
While Naruto was busy trying to negotiate the future of the world, inside of him, another sort of chaos was brewing.
"EEEEEE!"
A chaos of glee and swooning.
Too weak to struggle, speak, or escape, Saiken and Kokuoh were helpless in Kushina's arms. The former great and titanic beasts, completely at the mercy of the spirit of the former Jinchuriki as she rubbed her face against their cheeks.
"They're so small and cute and adorable!" Kushina squealed, for once forgetting about the fact that due to her overexposure to the other biju's chakra, half her hair had turned bone white like a certain ancestor of hers. Ever since she had woken up, she had been in a slump, in genuine despair that her beautiful and luxurious hair was losing its trademark color, just because she was exposed to power.
The fact that she looked more like Kaguya because of it didn't help either.
But that didn't matter, because now she had two cute little friends to snuggle and pamper and-
CRACK!
A fissure in reality, space, and time shattered the world next to her.
CRACK!
The fissure widened as two hands forced their way through and widened it by half a foot.
And from the other side of the distortion of reality, a possessed, eldritch eye of unspeakable abominations peered through.
"I. Sense. Fuzzies."
The two stripped Biju froze in absolute horror. As if their current situation wasn't terrifying and humiliating enough as it was.
Kushina, on the other hand, stabbed the eye with one of her chains without a second thought.
"Gah!? Son of a protestant whore my eye! What was that for!?"
"Fuck off Shadow! The darlings are mine! Get your own!" Kushina bellowed, dozens of more chains sprouted from her back menacingly.
"Fuck you! Fight me!" Shadow took offence to that, thrusting more of her head through the fissure, teeth warping into rows of serrated saws and hands into claws.
Naruto would not find out about the war in his soul until much later, however he did note that his body was deteriorating faster than it should have been during it.
o. o. o.
A/N:
As always, thanks Ultraroar for betaing.
Welp. That's it for the Kage Summit. It still has some tiny bits and pieces left, but all that needed to be said has been said. Anything that's left is the normal meticulous bullshit fluff that I normally would stick into an event like this, but don't really need to. At most there might some ambient character interactions in Iron still left, but what needed to be said at Iron has been said in Iron.
Naruto really can't catch a break though. This is what happens when you're a cosmic plaything type character. Even when major entities do something that they think might "help you", it usually ends up being a short to midterm major literal pain in the ass, and every other body part.
And lo and behold, the Sky Mother, in her partial glory. Full disclaimer, what those at the Summit saw wasn't Zuzushi in her entirety. That was simply as much of her they could witness through the artificial dimension that Naruto had made with her support. Zuzushi is a bullshit entity that puts pretty much everything to shame.
A literal Mass Multiversal disaster.
Fun fact: from an outside perspective, Zuzushi's surrounded by a giant cloud of her "shedding" (ambient chains of related universes) that serve as the greater chain of multiverses around her. In short, from the outside, she looks like a "sheep dragon". It's only her image on the inside that she's able to be seen without the extra "fluff" around her.
And, and I say this with all due respect, for god's sake please stop bringing up Alien X. Those guys only alter the universe around them and can at best tank the destruction of a single universe at a time. They wouldn't be able to handle a wave of minor universes being chucked at them like an afterthought, let alone a string of them.
On a side note, the reason why Dima didn't bring up Ghost's first wife was because in general, most people avoid her in general. Ghost's first wife was a real piece of work, and most people that know her story and what she's done feel uncomfortable talking about her in general. Dima in particular also doesn't talk about her because… reasons. Personal reasons.
Anyways, other news.
I'm moving back to FFD next month. And I'm seriously debating whether or not to stick to it and bum rush it all until it's FINALLY finished and out of the way. By my personal and totally not out of my ass estimations, there should be roughly 10-15 chapters left in it at most. I wasn't joking when I said that this was the final stretch of the story.
Let me know what you guys think. I'd still slip in a chapter of GAIWP every now and then, but I seriously just want to finish up one of these three in the near future so I can free myself up for the others.
Selling an apartment I own (I got this place in Connecticut before I moved to Michigan almost a decade ago… fuck I'm old). There's a whole load of stories going on with that one, including the fact that the current tenant is a piece of work and has been getting more difficult as of late. I already have a prospective buyer and everything. Fortunately if everything goes well I'll have a decent pool of cash to fall back on and put into the market while it's down, which is nice, unless I lose the money because the market continues to be a shitshow. Then, not so nice.
Unfortunately I'm not planning on buying a new place here yet (the current market is terrible for buying at a decent price), which is a shame because if I moved the money I made from the former into the latter, I could skip out on paying some taxes. Regardless though, I'm glad it's almost over with.
Work's work. Memorial Day is here and I'm about to go to a barbeque. FGO is still a thing and I WILL GET CASTORIA SO HELP ME NASU. And overall, the weather's been pretty nice here so far. Small blessings and all that.
Oh, and fucking finally, Kaido is beaten and the Wano arc is close to ending! Oda you magnificent bastard, Gear 5 is a master class twist, and you deserve to be immortalized for all human history.
Oh yeah. Again, a reminder that I have a Pa-eon account. Just look up "Third Fang" and I should show up.
Anyways, that's about it. Thanks for being patient with me for all this time and I hope you all enjoy my other works as I continue to pump this random nonsense out.
SO REVIEW! WORSHIP THE LOG! MINATO WILL EVENTUALLY HAVE TO MAKE EXCESSIVE AND GRATUITIOUS AMOUNTS OF COITUS TO KUSHINA TO SNAP HER OUT OF THE FUNK SHE WAS IN AFTER HALF HER HAIR TURNED WHITE! AND REVIEW AGAIN!