Sorry this next chapter took so long. Life and other obligations got in the way.
Steph lay draped across me, limp as a wet noodle, her breathing as ragged as my own. It's a good thing she's on top of me and not the other way around, because I'm sure every ounce of strength and energy left my body as we came together. No way would I have been able to hold myself up and not crush her. Somehow, I managed to lift my arms and wrap them around her, holding her against me as I pressed soft kisses to the top of her head. It's entirely possible I'd just had the best sex of my life and it was almost as close to vanilla as one could get.
I wanted to be bothered by that thought but couldn't muster the energy to dwell too hard on it. Maybe it was because this time was about more than just the exchange of pleasure taking place.
While she rode me, she'd reached down to tangle her fingers with mine as we held each other's gaze. Her expressive eyes locked with mine, causing deep and unexpected feelings to slam into me with amazing speed. We were connecting on a level I'd never had with any other woman. When she leaned down to take my mouth in a searing kiss, I couldn't stop the groan of pleasure that followed as our mouths fought for dominance.
The sound of my name tumbling from her lips as she came had been more of an aphrodisiac than any drink or potion, and within seconds, I tumbled off the precipice right behind her. My release was more powerful than any I'd ever experienced in my life. There was unmitigated pleasure, but also pain, as I gave her a part of me that I knew I'd never be able to take back.
"That was…" Steph finally gasped out, only to let the end of her sentence drop away as she shook her head, causing her hair to tickle my nose. "God. What in the hell was that?"
"I'm not sure there are words," I replied, knowing there was nothing in the English language that could accurately describe what we'd just shared.
Slowly she lifted her head to look at me. "I've never…" Again, she stopped mid-sentence, only this time I could see the look of confusion that crossed her face.
"You never what?" I asked as I brushed back her hair to get a better look at her.
"I've never experienced anything so…intense," she finally said. The words Even with Ranger, sat on the tip of my tongue, but I thought better of saying them out loud. It wouldn't be fair to her for me to drag him into our bed simply because I was feeling a bit insecure. It wasn't a feeling I was used to experiencing and one I didn't like at all.
"Me either," I confessed and watched as her frown deepen.
"What does that mean?" she asked.
I had a pretty good idea what it meant, and honestly, it scared the shit out of me. If anyone had asked me my true feelings about Steph, I would have told them that, like many of the men at Rangeman, I loved her. What I hadn't been prepared for, was how our coming together would intensify those feelings by a thousand. In this moment, I realized that I didn't just love her. I was in love with her.
Knowing Steph and her propensity to hide from her feelings, I couldn't help but be concerned that if she made the same connection before she was fully prepared, it might just be enough to scare her away. I arched a brow. "Are you sure you want to start analyzing this so soon?"
Her frown smoothed over, and she shook her head. "Maybe not yet."
Before I could reply, her stomach offered a loud protest, causing me to grin. That was just the opening I needed to change the subject. "While I would love to tie you to this bed and make love to you all day, we still have a long drive ahead of us." I raised up to press a quick kiss to her lips. "And you're not the only one who is hungry."
She sighed. "Too bad we can't just lay here like this for a bit longer."
I really wanted to, but we needed to stay on schedule. While I thoroughly enjoyed her sidetracking me this morning, we had a trip to complete. "I know, sweetheart," I replied. "Maybe we can leave a day or two early and find someplace to disappear to for a couple of days before we have to go back to work."
In an instant, her eyes began to dance with excitement. "Could we?"
Her enthusiasm pulled a smile from me. "No promises, but I'll see what we can do." I gave her a light tap on her sexy ass. "Now, let me up. Since I had a shower last night, I'll clean up quick and then you can grab your shower."
Her frown returned and quickly morphed into the cutest pout. "Yeah, okay," she sighed, then slid off me. I could understand her reluctance. If we had more time, I would have totally paid for another day just so I could keep her naked and satisfied.
Instead, we cleaned up, packed up and headed down to partake in the continental breakfast and check out. Once we were seated, I looked from my plate of scrambled eggs, sausage, and fresh fruit to Steph's stack of pancakes and bacon. "You're going to be starving in a couple hours if you don't eat some protein."
She wrinkled her nose. "I have protein. See the bacon?"
I wanted to be amused at her pathetic attempt to defend her breakfast choices, but the need to make sure she ate healthier and took better care of herself won out. "Those two sad little strips of bacon are not going to be enough to offset the carb crash you're going to suffer later."
"I'll be fine." Her reply had me reaching across the table to cover her hand with mine. I would never demand or force her to do anything she really didn't want to, but that didn't mean I wouldn't use the tools at my disposal to sway her position. "Please, sweetheart." Yes, I knew pulling out the please was playing dirty pool, but if it worked it was worth it.
She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Fine. I'll get some eggs."
Score one for me. "Thank you."
"Yeah, yeah," she murmured as she slid from my grip and stood. "You're just lucky I love you."
I stiffened at her statement, causing her to pause mid-step as realization of what she said finally set in. Her eyes widened and the skin on her neck turned a lovely shade of pink. "I-um…".
While I wanted to believe she loved me in the same fashion I loved her, it was too soon to be hoping for such things. I knew that particular 'I love you' was meant as a playful endearment from one friend to another and nothing more. "It's okay," I said holding up a hand. "I know what you meant. Now go get some eggs."
She hesitated, then finally gave a nod and headed off to the buffet tables. When she returned a few minutes later, I could tell her mood had changed. Her actions were stiff and jerky in nature as she stabbed at her food with the fork. If that alone wasn't enough of a sign, the deep crease in her brow betrayed her thoughts. Despite my assurance, she was still ruminating over what she'd said.
Even though I'd made it clear I'd taken the comment as that of friendship, the fact that she remained this upset about it had me wondering what was going on in that beautiful head of hers. While I didn't want her stressing over her innocently spoken words, her actions had me curious if maybe she was questioning the depth of her feelings, like I was earlier. I mean, I didn't expect her to just fall in love with me after a day together and one morning of spectacular sex. Still, maybe her feelings ran deeper than she realized. Was it possible that statement had been more akin to a Freudian slip?
Now certainly wasn't the time to delve into such a deep topic. If there was one thing I learned from being a Dom, it was that silence and patience could work wonders when attempting to get a sub to acquiesce. Steph wasn't one to let silence hang, especially if something was bothering her. So, all I needed to do was sit back and let her stew. If it was really something nagging her, she'd eventually talk.
We'd just crossed the short thirteen mile stretch of West Virginia and passed through the Wheeling tunnel when she finally shifted her attention from out the window to look at me. "Ram?"
"Yes?"
"About what I said earlier."
Yep, there it was. I knew she wouldn't be able to just let it go. "Sweetheart, I told you it was okay. I knew what you meant."
"Really?" she replied, her look turning skeptical. "That's interesting since I'm not sure what I meant."
Okay, so I certainly hadn't expected her to be so bold with her admission. Her statement had me cutting a quick glance from the road to her and back. "Explain," I finally said when it appeared she wasn't going to take her statement further without prompting.
"I do love you like a friend," she said, then frowned. "But not like I love Lester or Bobby or Hal or Hector." She paused again as a look of confusion claimed her features. "Come to think of it, how I feel about you is different than how I feel about anyone else."
"Even Ranger?"
Slowly she began to nod. "Even Ranger. I mean I thought I was in love with him." She gave a snort at her own statement. "Hell, for that matter I thought I was in love with Joe too, but now I'm not sure I really know what true love feels like." She reached out and placed a hand on my arm. "I do love you, Ram, and I feel shitty adding qualifiers like Ranger used to do to me. So, instead I'm going to ask you to be patient with me while I try to make sense of all these new feelings and emotions."
I reached over to pat her hand. "Look, I know this is all moving really fast. Yesterday morning you didn't even know I had feelings for you. Now, we're talking about being in love. I get that it's a lot to process. So, how about for now, we just try not to worry about labeling our feelings or what this is between us, and enjoy the ride?"
Several seconds of silence fell between us as I waited for her response. "I guess I could do that," she finally said as she slowly pulled away and sank back into her seat. "But I'm still your girlfriend, right?"
I grinned as I glanced over at her. "Yes. You're still my girlfriend."
Our talk seemed to placate her for the time being and for the next several hours we settled into comfortable conversation. Topics shifted from her family and mine, to the guys and little quirks we'd developed over the years. She went into a bit more detail on her unique relationship with Ranger. I know the man loves her, but God is he freaking stupid. I really want to kick his ass for some of the idiotic things he said to her. Though, I promised Steph I wouldn't. That's okay. I have a feeling he'll be kicking his own ass when he realizes that he's lost her to one of his men.
As far as Morelli goes, he needs to just disappear out of Steph's life forever. The things he's said and done to her over the years are reprehensible. While Steph is right in that I do suffer with guilt over the lives I've taken, Morelli's is one I wouldn't think twice about ending. Though, it's also because of Steph that he'll probably remain alive and breathing. I would never do anything that would intentionally bring pain to her.
We stopped just East of Indianapolis and grabbed lunch, then stopped again in Terra Haute for a coffee and a bathroom break.
She'd been much like a wide-eyed child, taking in all the sights and sounds, such as they were, and had been more than a little excited when we crossed the Illinois state line. The moment I turned on my blinker to exit the interstate, her excitement began to wane. I took the off ramp marked Casey and hopped on route forty-nine south. "How much farther?" she asked, her tone now one of trepidation instead of excitement.
"About forty-five minutes," I replied as I glanced over at her. The crease in her brow had returned and she was now sitting rigid, with her hands clasped together. I reached out and grasped her hand in mine. "Hey, don't worry."
She swallowed hard and nodded, then immediately her eyes went wide with fear. "Did you call your parents and tell them I was coming?"
Oh, she wasn't going to like my answer. "No." I gave her hand a squeeze when she started to protest. "Now don't go getting yourself all worked up, Steph. I didn't call because mom would have kept me on the phone for hours asking me a bunch of questions that, at that point, I didn't have the answers to."
"Like?" she whispered
"The biggest one I knew she'd ask was if you were still just a friend or were we finally a couple."
"Yeah, but yesterday we were just friends," she argued.
"And now we're more," I replied. When she only gave me a nonplussed look in return, I found myself scrambling to try and explain. "Okay, I didn't know what to say to her, because I was hoping for more than just friendship between us. While I didn't expect this morning to go the way it did, I'm thrilled it happened and now I can honestly say to my mom that you're my girlfriend."
"But isn't she going to ask questions, like how long have we been together?"
"She might," I replied. The fact was, she'd grill me like a suspect in an interrogation, but she'd never corner Steph about it.
"And what are we going to tell her?"
"That we've been working on it for several months now."
Both her brows when up in challenge. "You want me to lie to your mom?"
"It's not entirely a lie. Think about it, Sweetheart. This morning may have changed our physical status, but between the surveillance shifts, researching cases and patrols, we've spent a lot more time together in the last three months."
She sat in silence for a moment, apparently considering my words. "We have been spending a lot of work time together the last couple of months."
"That's because when Ranger dropped from your partner rotation, I immediately volunteered to pick up those shifts." I continued to alternate my attention from the single lane road to her and back. Then I stayed straight at the next turn, effectively dumping us onto a smaller road. The pavement went from painted lines with a shoulder to not having lines or definitive edge. "I might not have worked up the courage to ask you out, I was getting to spend quality time with you while we were on duty."
"Okay," she replied as she turned to look out at the corn and soybean fields as we passed by them. "So even if I conceded that to you, it doesn't change the fact that you're still dropping me on your family with no warning."
Knowing she needed my entire focus, I found an entrance to a field, pulled in, parked then turned on my hip to face her. "Sweetheart, look at me."
When she didn't move, I reached across the console and took her hand in mine. "Stephanie, please."
Slowly, she shifted to face me and the nervousness in her gaze had me wincing. "This isn't the burg. When I tell you that my family will welcome you with open arms, I mean it. The only one who might judge you is Emily, but she judges everyone. So, she doesn't count. Now please try to relax." Gently, I tugged her to me and brushed a soft kiss across her lips. "It's all going to be okay."
