here to guide the way

by euphoric image

"My name is Kakashi Hatake. I would like you to write four letters for me." And things are never the same after that.

So there I am, watching the final Violet Evergarden movie, when my mind suddenly goes "hey so uhh... how about KakashixViolet"

And I was too busy crying to object, so here I am, diving straight into rarepair hell

Hope you enjoy!

---

The first time Violet lays eyes on him is through her window one evening.

Anyone she tells this to would probably envision a cliché scene where she is gazing out through the crystal clear glass and catches sight of him staring back up at her; of the two locking eyes, and in that moment electricity would spark and a connection would instantly be forged as if they were linked by the twisting threads of fate itself.

The reality is a little different.

She is sitting at her desk and finishing the last touches on a letter when she hears a knock sound from in front of her. Looking up, she sees a man crouched outside of her window, somehow balancing on the impossible ledge on the exterior of the brick mansion. She blinks, feeling more than a little lost.

Only for a moment though. Her instincts honed by years of war kicks in a second later, and she quickly assesses his appearance.

Spiky silver hair. A headband slanted over his left eye. A dark blue mask obscuring the rest of his face. His single visible grey eye is staring at her emotionlessly.

He raises his hand and raps the window again. A single sharp knock.

Violet is dressed in nothing but a simple white nightdress, and her blond hair is down, cascading down her back in golden waves. With no weapon at hand, she is decidedly at her most vulnerable, and common sense dictates she run away and call for help.

She has never quite been one for common sense.

Slowly, Violet stands up and reaches out to unlock the window. She unclasps the lock deftly and pulls open the window before standing back in a seemingly relaxed stance that will allow her to react at the slightest hint of hostility.

He shows nothing as he hops into her room, twisting slightly to the side to avoid colliding with her desk and landing nimbly like a cat. Even to her trained ears, she doesn't hear a sound, and she wonders just how agile he must be. He stands in front of her, and he's taller than her but by not much, the top of her head reaching his nose. She notices how he's perfectly balanced as he stands, his body completely still, and she realizes that he is most likely trained as well, either as a martial artist or an acrobat.

"Hello," he says, and Violet's momentarily startled by the sound of his voice because his voice is calm and deep yet also unmistakably young. She expected him to be much older with his silver hair. "I heard you write letters for people?"

She nods. "Yes."

"Okay," a slight pause. "Can I hire you for your services?"

She tilts her head. "Are you a customer?" she asks, slightly bewildered because no customer has ever tried to hire her in such an unorthodox manner before.

"Yes," he answers. "My name is Kakashi Hatake. I would like you to write four letters for me. Can you do that?"

In all honesty, she isn't sure if she can. The waiting list for her services stretches out for months due to her popularity, and her schedule is already jam packed as it is.

However, she's intrigued by the man in front of her. She wants to know who he is, she wants to know his story, and above all, she wants to know why his eyes look so much like her own from back then – sad and hollow. It is the last point that convinces her to reply, "Yes."

Kakashi doesn't smile. He doesn't express any emotion. He simply nods. "How much?"

Violet tells him the cost, and he reaches into a grey pouch attached to his waist and pulls out the appropriate amount of coins, dropping them into her outstretched palm.

"Where should I meet you?" she asks.

He hands her a small slip of paper, and on it written in elegant handwriting were directions to the location. "Can you make it tomorrow?" he asks.

She has an appointment tomorrow, but she knows that Iris will be happy to take her place, and so she nods. "Yes. Will three in the afternoon be acceptable?"

He nods again.

"Then the contract is complete," she says softly. "I will see you tomorrow."

Kakashi nods a final time before turning around. Then he pauses, and for the first time since meeting him, she sees something flicker in his dull grey eye. It is gone as soon as it appears, but it was unmistakably there.

"What is your name?" he asks.

She blinks, because she thought he already knew. Why else would he have seeked her out like this? Despite her bemusement, she dips into a practiced curtsey anyway.

"I am Violet Evergarden. It is a pleasure to meet you."

He regards her for a moment. Then without another word, he leaves as swiftly as he came, jumping out her window in one graceful leap and disappearing off into the night, leaving her behind with an odd expression on her face as she thinks about what in the heavens just happened.

In the four years since she's started working as a Doll, she has met quite a lot of eccentric individuals, but she has to say, Kakashi is the most peculiar by far.

:::

Violet follows the directions written onto the slip of paper to the letter, but she still finds herself standing in front of the forest bordering the city with not a single house in sight. Did he deliver the wrong set of directions? Is this perhaps a cruel joke?

She doesn't think he's the type to do such a thing, however, and is proven correct just a few seconds later when Kakashi appears out of nowhere. One moment she's completely alone, her only company the chittering of creatures and a gentle summer breeze. The next moment she blinks, and when she opens her eyes again, he's standing in front of her.

"You're here," is the first thing he says to her.

"Yes, I am," she says before dipping into a curtsey, bowing her head and saying the standard greeting, "It is a pleasure to meet you. If a client requests it, we shall go anywhere. Representing the Auto Memoir Doll service, I am Violet Evergarden."

"I know," he says, and then falls silent.

After a few seconds, she asks, "Where shall we conduct our business?"

"Follow me," he says and begins heading into the forest. This is the part where, if she is a normal girl, she would refuse and run away. However, though she is now a human, she was once an instrument of death, and even after all these years of being a Doll, her skills have not dulled in the slightest. So she follows him, her baby blue parasol resting on her brown carrying case, confident in her ability to defend herself.

The moment he enters the forest, he relaxes marginally and his step becomes a touch lighter, as if he has just returned home. She admits, being surrounded by nature like this is nice. After living in the city for so long, it feels liberating to be out in the wild once more. It reminds her of her childhood, the time spent on that island.

He doesn't say anything, so she doesn't attempt to make any small talk. Not that she would be any good at it; even after four years, she hasn't completely mastered the art.

Finally, after about ten minutes of walking, they arrive at a small clearing deep in the forest. A quaint little house constructed of wood and stone stands there proudly, and on the door is engraved a dog's face, carved into the wood with a sharp knife. She sees a garden off to the side, teeming with colorful plants, and she even spots some baby purple eggplants hanging from the bushes.

"I didn't know they built houses so deep into the wilderness," she remarks.

"They don't," he replies. "I built it myself."

Kakashi opens the door and lets her enter first, and as she steps past him, she notices him tense up slightly at the proximity.

The interior of the house is clinically austere. There are no artworks or pictures or patterned rugs or potted plants or delightful pieces of furniture or anything that suggests personality. Only the bare minimum exists: a table, some chairs, and that's it. Everything in the room is only there due to necessity.

It looks very much like Violet's own room.

Kakashi sits down at the table and motions at the seat across from him. She places her carrying case on the table and takes out her typewriter and sheets of paper. He doesn't even blink as she takes off her gloves, exposing her metal prosthetic hands. She sets up quickly, and in less than a minute she is ready.

"Who shall I address this letter to?" she asks.

Kakashi is silent for a long moment.

Finally, he says quietly, "My teacher. His name was... Minato Namikaze."

She nods, and begins typing. When she doesn't hear him say anything else, she glances up. "How should I compose the message?"

He stares at her, his single visible grey eye looking hopelessly lost. "I... don't know."

"Ah," she says. She pauses. "What would you like him to hear?"

:::

Nineteen-year-old ANBU Captain Kakashi Hatake hesitates. His fingers twitch slightly before he quickly suppresses the urge to fidget.

What would he like Minato-sensei to hear...

It is an excellent question. One he doesn't quite know the answer to.

As the seconds tick by, he grows painfully aware of the cloying silence that fills the room as she waits for him expectantly.

Damn it. Why did he think this was a good idea again?

Oh, right. After being transported to this new dimension and being unable to return, he's been afflicted nightly with nightmares. It's nothing new, really, except unlike before he can't throw himself into mission after mission with a near-suicidal abandon to take his mind off it.

He hasn't done much since arriving in this new world. He doesn't need to. Though the country he's in was in a war just a few years ago, it already ended by the time he arrived. It's peaceful. There is no need for missions, for kidnappings and sabotage and interrogations and assassinations. He can't bring himself to sell his services as a mercenary, and after stealing from several crime organizations scattered around, he has more than enough money to sustain himself. Since he cannot function even in a shinobi society, much less a civilian one, he decided to separate himself from it all.

He retreated into the forests, secluding himself from civilization and only returning to pick up supplies. He's always enjoyed being surrounded by trees – it's in his nature as a Konoha shinobi.

It was initially rather difficult to adapt to the new life. The first week, he did nothing but train, honing his skills. It got dull quickly, however, because there was no reason for him to fight anymore. There's no way for him to return, after all.

Then, in the second week, he bought a piano on a complete whim. Or rather, he liberated the piano from a criminal hideout via a storage seal. He didn't know what possessed him to steal an entire grand piano. For the first day, he just sort of stared at it, wondering if he should give it back. Then he played a note, then another note, then another, then with his prodigious mind and dexterous fingers he recreated a lullaby flawlessly. He found that he enjoyed playing, that the music was beautiful, and so he continued. He had no teacher, but he was a genius, and he learned at an incredible pace.

In the third week, he summoned his ninken. They were confused at first when they could smell no enemies nearby, only for their confusion to turn into surprise and then into joy when Kakashi asked, almost abashedly, if he could play with them. They agreed, barking and yipping happily as they tumbled around in the grass.

In the fourth week, he decided that sleeping on the grass wasn't the most comfortable living arrangement, and using an assortment of jutsu, built himself a house with a mixture of modified jutsu and hand labor. All the D-rank missions he's done and Earth Release techniques he's copied are finally paying off. For the furniture, he either built them himself or stole them from even more criminals.

He began baking in the second month. Kneading the dough in his hands over and over again helped keep his mind off things.

A week later, he started a garden. Tending to the plants every day was strangely soothing. It helped that he planted a few eggplant bushes as well.

The very next week, he learns how to cook. With his sharp nose and keen eye, it comes easily to him. He amuses himself by trying to recreate all his favorite dishes. Progress is slow, but it is being made.

As the months passed, he slowly grew used to his new life. Currently, he lives as a simple hermit deep in the forest.

Despite all the peaceful leisurely activities he's been doing, however, none of it is able to help. Every night he wakes up covered in cold sweat and red on his hands and the images of their bloodied faces etched into his mind. And he knows he deserves it, because he is the reason why they all died, it is all his fault, but after having months to think on it, he decides that he's suffered for long enough and perhaps it was finally time to try to heal his soul. The only problem is that he doesn't exactly know how to.

It is his ninken that originally suggested writing letters. It may bring him closure by allowing him to express the feelings he's kept bottled up since as far as he can remember. At the very least, it might grant him a momentary peace of mind, some closure. By this point, he'll take whatever he can get, since he doesn't exactly possess a resurrection technique in his repertoire.

However, when he sets his pen to paper, he quickly realizes that...

He can't.

He can't do it.

He has gone onto missions with near-zero success rates and come out on top, he has fought in a war since he was a child, he has faced veritable monsters without any difficulties.

It is almost ironic when writing a letter is what causes him to falter.

After several days of agonizing, it is once again his ninken who comes to his rescue. They ask him if there is anyone he knows who's capable of writing a letter for him, and Kakashi remembers with a rush of excitement that there is. When he goes into the city to purchase food and materials, he's seen a few advertisements for ghostwriters, and it is this memory that caused him to rush into the city at night, get the address of the ghostwriting company that placed the adverts, and make his way there at once.

It was closed, but Kakashi didn't let that stop him. He knew that if he waited for the next day, he would lose his nerves and never consider it ever again, so he walked up the side of the building and knocked on the window from which a dim light shone out from within–

"What would you like to tell your teacher?"

Kakashi blinks as he's brought back to the present.

"I..."

Violet's gaze softens and she takes pity on him. "Perhaps there is something he's told you before that you haven't had a chance to respond to yet?"

Kakashi stills as a memory resurfaces.

"I don't want to see you hurt," Minato says. "I care for you, Kakashi, and seeing you slowly kill yourself like this in ANBU... You don't deserve this. Rin and Obito would've never wanted this. Please, Kakashi. Leave ANBU and rejoin the normal shinobi forces. I only want the best for you. I... I think of you as my son."

Kakashi stares at him impassively. He doesn't say anything. After a few seconds, he responds, his voice cool and dispassionate. "May I be excused, Hokage-sama?"

Minato sighs. "You may."

The Yondaime Hokage died a week later along with his wife, having sacrificed himself to protect the village from the rampaging Nine-Tailed Fox.

"Yes," Kakashi murmurs. "Yes, there is something. I would like to begin the letter now."

Violet nods, her metal fingers poised over the keys on the typewriter.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

He thinks about the Yellow Flash, of his devastating skill and reputation on the battlefield.

He thinks about the Yondaime Hokage, of his endless charisma and his ability to be loved by all.

He thinks about Minato-sensei, the kindness he showed him and the way he always treated him like family and how his smile shone brilliantly like the sun itself.

Then he opens his mouth and speaks.

:::

He falters.

:::

Dear Minato-sensei,

It has been a long time. I have not been able to visit the memorial stone lately. Something came up.

I'm not in Konoha anymore. I don't think I can return. I'm stuck in this place. It is peaceful.

There is no war here. I currently live in the forest by myself as a hermit.

I started gardening. It is relaxing.

I started playing with my summons more like you and Kushina suggested. It is enjoyable.

I –

:::

"Is this what you really wish to say?"

Kakashi blinks as Violet interrupts him. "Yes...?" he answers. "Why wouldn't it be?"

Violet stares at him with unblinking eyes. Her eyes are a startling blue, he notices, like a clear sky on a bright summer day. "It doesn't feel like you're being truthful with yourself."

He hides the wince, but barely.

She's right. Her intuition is good.

Even now, he's still avoiding facing the topic. He wants to, but... he's afraid, afraid in a way he hasn't felt ever since his hand was covered in red red red–

"Please," Violet says, and her blue eyes are filled with a sincerity that's almost painful. To him, a murderer who flourished in the darkness of the ANBU, he is not used to such genuine displays of emotion. "You're in pain. Let me help you. Speak what your heart truly feels."

Kakashi regards her with an unreadable expression for a long moment.

Speak what his heart truly feels?

He's been bottling this up for years now. The words unsaid to anyone, left to fester in his heart, its unforgiving tendrils crawling and twisting into his mind, contaminating and corrupting his every thought with guilt and loathing.

And suddenly, Kakashi feels a striking sense of tiredness and fatigue that seems to pierce deep into the very core of his being, and he's so very done with barely being able to sleep an hour every night and being afflicted with nightmares every time he closes his eyes and being condemned by ghosts every waking moment, and an impulsiveness that crackles like electricity rushes through him and his mouth opens–

:::

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for destroying our team.

I'm sorry for being so antisocial and arrogant and mean and obstinate.

I'm sorry for being such a subhuman whose life revolved around the rules. You tried to teach me that there was more to being a shinobi than obsessively following the rules, but I never listened.

I'm sorry for not leaving ANBU when you asked me to.

I'm sorry for not joining you and Kushina for dinner when you invited me.

I'm sorry for always dismissing your attempts to brighten up my day and get me to have some fun.

I'm sorry.

:::

When he finishes, his breaths are uneven and ragged. Kakashi has never said these words before. Not to the Hokage, not to his summons, not even the memorial stone.

He isn't really sure how he feels.

Violet's fingers come to a stop as well from where she was typing.

"Kakashi..." she begins.

Kakashi looks at her. "Hmm?"

She blinks hard, and he panics slightly when he sees tears form in her brilliant blue eyes.

"You..." she breathes. "You're burning, aren't you?"

Kakashi frowns and quickly scans himself. "No, I'm not."

"You are," she says softly but doesn't elaborate. Kakashi doesn't understand. Is she threatening him?

"Why are you crying?" he asks instead.

"Because of the incredible burden you're carrying," she whispers. "Because I understand the unbearable pain of guilt of hating who you once were, of what you once did. It's excruciating."

His eyes flicker. Then, he shakes his head. "Don't feel sorry for me – "

"I can't," she interrupts. "I'm afraid I cannot comply with that request."

"Why not?"

"Because I feel pain for you."

"I don't deserve it."

"You do."

"I don't. You have no idea what kind of person I was," he growls. "Trust me, if you had seen my past self, you would agree."

Because he despises who he once was with a fiery passion and the amount of times he's thought about traveling back in time to punch his younger self in the face is immeasurable and Minato-sensei tried to help him but he never listened—

"You've changed though, haven't you?"

Kakashi freezes.

"Haven't you changed?" Violet repeats, almost frantically. "You regret being who you once were. You feel remorse over what you've done. And you've changed to become a better person than before."

He stares at her stunned, his eyes wide.

"I understand how you feel," she says as she unconsciously reaches up to grip her turquoise brooch. "But the past is in the past. You can't change it, no matter how much you want to. What truly matters is how you are in the present – right here, right now. And you've changed, haven't you?"

It takes him a moment to gather himself.

"Yes," he whispers.

"Then that's the end of it," she declares with a note of finality. "You don't need to punish yourself for how you were in the past forever. You're allowed to forgive yourself. This is how I feel... and this is how I think Mr Minato would feel too."

For a minute, Kakashi is utterly silent, his emotions a turbulent whirlwind within him.

Then, he says in a voice so quiet it's nearly inaudible, "You're right."

He hates his younger self with a passion. He hates how arrogant he was, how condescending and conceited he acted. He hates how he turned away everyone's attempts to help him. He hates how, even after losing his teammates, his only response was to push himself away from Minato-sensei.

But that's all in the past. He's changed now. For the better, he likes to think.

Violet's words...

Perhaps they do contain some truth after all.

"You're right," he says again, this time a little louder.

And all his self-loathing and hatred for his younger self's behavior...

He finally, finally lets it go.

And Violet smiles at him. She doesn't have to say anything.

They sit there in silence for several minutes as Kakashi mentally recomposes himself. When he's finished calming his thoughts, he says, "Shall we move onto writing the next letter?"

Strangely, Violet frowns. "No."

Kakashi blinks. "No?"

"The letter to Mr Minato isn't complete yet," she says.

Kakashi tilts his head. "I've said everything I needed to say."

Violet shakes her head. "Your feelings haven't fully been put into the letter yet," she says. "You still want to tell him something, don't you?"

He stares at her for a long time. "You are perceptive," he finally says. "Do I really need to say it?"

"Yes," is the instant reply.

For a brief moment, he considers refusing. By all rights, he should refuse. It's not as if she can force him – he's the captain of an elite ANBU squad, whereas she's just a civilian, albeit perhaps a trained one.

However...

She's right.

He does have something he still wants to say.

:::

Thank you for everything you've done for me.

Thank you for taking care of me since I was a child.

Thank you for teaching me.

Thank you for never giving up on me.

Thank you.

And, one more thing...

I'm sorry I never responded to you that day. I'm sorry for walking off even though you were trying so desperately to pull me back into the light.

I know I never told you this, but...

I consider you my father.

I always have.

I always will.

I just wish I could have told you before it was too late.

But for whatever inexplicable reason, I think you already knew.

Sincerely,

Kakashi Hatake

:::

"Have you said everything you needed to say?" she asks him when he finishes.

He considers it for a second before nodding. "Yes."

She smiles. "I'm glad. Then shall we move onto the next letter?"

Kakashi hesitates, then nods. "I would like that."

He watches her place the letter back into her case, then pull out another sheet of paper. She sets it onto the typewriter and aligns the machine.

"Who shall I address this to?" she asks.

Kakashi pauses. Hesitates. His shoulders tense up slightly. "Hatake," he says. "Sakumo Hatake."

She nods, typing out the letters before glancing up and waiting for him expectantly.

Kakashi thinks about what he wants to say to Sakumo. He casts his mind back to the days of his early childhood which he still remembers with near perfect recall–

The dusty smell of tatami mats.

The flash of red.

The glint of metal.

Kakashi flinches imperceptibly as he quickly rips his mind away from those memories.

Violet notices. "What is the matter?" she inquires.

"I..." Kakashi shakes his head. "I can't."

Violet's eyebrows draw together slightly. "You can't?"

"It's – "

It's too painful. Every time he thinks of it, his mind violently protests, throwing up a barrier of negative emotions that's virtually impregnable. He can't even think about breaching it without his body recoiling.

Writing a letter to Sakumo...

It's impossible.

"I'm sorry," he finishes. "I... I think that's it for me." He stands up abruptly. "Thank you for coming all the way over. I apologize for cutting this short. You can keep the money – I don't need it back."

Violet frowns. "But you still have three more letters to write."

Kakashi shakes his head. "It's fine. Forget about it. One is enough."

Writing all four letters is unnecessary – just a single one should be enough to help quell his nightmares.

He hates how he can't even pretend he's not lying to himself.

"You can't stop now," Violet insists stubbornly. "You haven't finished conveying your feelings. The flames haven't been extinguished yet."

"I would like you to leave now," he says quietly.

Violet hesitates before relenting. She gathers her things and walks to the door, which Kakashi has already opened for her.

"Thank you," he says. "Goodbye."

"Farewell," she murmurs, her expression pensive. She turns and leaves, and Kakashi shuts the door behind her.

He lingers at the door for a moment. Then, he turns around and sinks down to the ground, his back against the door. He remains like this until the thought of Sakumo is fully pushed out of his mind.

:::

That night, he sleeps better. Not well, because his dreams are still plagued by nightmares, but when he wakes up, amongst all the images of death and blood is the vague, already fading memory of the ephemeral scene of kunai practice and jutsu training and a smile as warm as the sun itself.

He doesn't wake up gasping for the first time in a long time.

:::

A week passes. He is in the middle of baking some bread when a knock sounds at his door.

Kakashi pauses, his brow furrowing in confusion. He wipes his flour-covered hands with a towel before making his way to the door and opening it.

He blinks at what he sees.

Violet is standing at the door, looking as if it was perfectly normal for her to be there.

"Hello," he greets automatically. "Why are you here?"

"You still have three letters left to send," she says.

Kakashi's expression darkens. "I changed my mind. I don't want to send them anymore."

Violet regards him for a long moment.

"There's flour on your hands," she says suddenly. "Are you baking?"

Kakashi blinks, slightly caught off guard by the random question. "I am," he answers truthfully. "I'm trying out a new recipe."

"Are you expecting anyone else to come over today?"

"No."

"Can I join you, then?"

He frowns, bemused. "You want to bake with me?"

She nods. "And eat the bread afterward," she adds. "If you so allow it."

Kakashi thinks on it for a few seconds. On a complete whim, he makes his decision. "Okay," he says, stepping to the side. "Come in."

He needs a second opinion on the recipe, anyway. He loves his ninken and all, but if he has to be honest, they would frankly eat anything.

:::

Violet follows him into the kitchen. It is small, with strange symbols etched everywhere. There is already a pile of dough resting on a wooden board, and Kakashi returns to kneading it over and over again.

"You can help me prepare the filling," he says in between motions, nodding his head over to the already-prepared ingredients. "Cut the marinated pork into small even pieces then coat them with the sauce. "

Violet nods, committing his instructions to memory effortlessly.

"Oh," Kakashi pauses. "I should get you an apron... Here, take mine."

"I do not require an apron to fulfill the tasks laid out in your instructions," she says.

"Your clothes are far nicer than mine," he dismisses as he takes off his brown apron. Underneath, he's wearing the same outfit as the week before; a simple light grey button-down shirt and black cargo pants with a pair of black boots. While it looks good on him, it is definitely of far lesser quality than her elaborate dress-and-jacket combo.

She inclines her head as she takes the apron. "Thank you," she says before getting to work. She isn't the greatest at cooking, but she excels at wielding weapons, and cutting the meat into equal pieces with unerring precision is elementary for her. They work in silence, him kneading and her slicing.

As she begins mixing the diced meat together with a sauce that smells sweet and savory, she reviews her plan in her head. Ever since writing the first letter for him a week ago, he has been on her mind constantly. Even as she was working for other clients, she constantly found herself thinking of him.

He reminds her of herself when she was younger, back before she was able to arrive at an answer. The gaze in his eyes is the very same one that was once in hers, and she can tell with grievous clarity that he is being burned alive by the merciless flames of guilt and regret and remorse that afflicted her once before as well.

And, most importantly, she can tell that he wants to heal. That much is obvious by how he appeared on her windowsill asking her to write him a letter. His soul is broken and his heart is empty, but he desperately wishes to put the pieces back together and fill in the gaping hole.

However, she can also tell that he can't. Until he finishes writing the three letters, until he has come to terms with whatever past sins he may have committed, the flames will never be extinguished. They will continue searing away until nothing is left but a withered shell.

The thought of him kept her up at night, constantly intruding in her thoughts, until finally she decided on her course of action.

She will help him.

Through being an Auto Memoir Doll, she was able to heal, and now she will take the experience she's attained and the lessons she's learned and pass them onto him.

If he cannot walk the path alone, then she will guide him along the way.

If he cannot confront the past on his own, then she will stand beside him.

If he cannot express his feelings by himself, then she will write the letters that can.

Perhaps it is odd to do so much for someone who is essentially a stranger, but she wants to do this. She has to do this.

After all, no letter deserves to go undelivered.

Even if it hasn't been written yet.

:::

Once the bread was baking merrily in the oven, she and Kakashi sits down at the table to wait. "How do you have electricity?" she inquires because the question was niggling at the back of her head the entire time they were baking. His house is way out in the wilderness where she doubts the power lines reach, and she hasn't seen any generators nearby.

"Magic," he replies.

Violet frowns at the blatantly fake answer but drops the subject, seeing that he isn't going to reveal anything. Some secret technology, perhaps?

"What is your field of employment?" she asks instead. If he works for the government, then it's possible he has access to some state technology –

"I'm retired."

She blinks. "What was your occupation before, then?"

Kakashi regards her for a long moment. "I was a soldier," he finally answers.

Violet tenses up. "You fought in the War?"

"Not the one you know of," he replies cryptically. "I come from a land far, far away from here."

She examines his face, but he doesn't appear to be lying. She is now curious about his past, though, so she asks, "How long ago was your war?"

He hums. "About seven years ago."

Her brows furrow. "You can't be older than your twenties though."

He coughs. "I just turned nineteen a few months ago."

She blinks. He's only a year older than her. But with silver hair already? Well, he could've been born with it, she supposes.

Then his age fully registers with her, and she does the mental math once again to double check even though she already knows she's correct. Her eyes widen slightly. "You would've only been twelve during the war," she says. "You say you fought in it?"

Kakashi pauses. "Yes," he answers slowly, as if he was carefully considering every word. "My village was highly militaristic in nature. I became a fully fledged soldier at the age of five, though I was only sent onto the front lines at age twelve."

Violet stares at him, and a sudden sense of camaraderie courses through her veins.

He's the same as her.

A child soldier.

"I was ten," she blurts out, the three words coming out almost unconsciously, completely unbidden, but even as they pass through her lips, she can't find it within herself to regret uttering them.

He blinks. "What?"

"I was sent to the front lines of the War when I was around ten years old," she says quietly. She has never shared this before with any of her clients before, but for some inexplicable reason telling him just feels unmistakably right.

He looks genuinely shocked, his single visible eye filled with surprise. "You – what? I thought the people of this dimens- country denounced the usage of child soldiers."

"They do," she says. "But they didn't consider me a child. I was regarded as nothing more than a tool; an instrument of death." She tilts her head. "You understand that, though, don't you?"

Kakashi swallows. "Yes," he says, his expression growing solemn. "I do." He pauses, turning to look out the window. The sunlight streams in through the glass, illuminating his face but also casting dark shadows behind him. "It's part of the reason why I'm retired now. I spent the first nineteen years of my life being a tool of my village. And I don't regret it at all – if given the choice I would gladly do it all over again. But now..."

He looks back at her, and while his single grey eye is still filled with his customary grief and guilt, there is also now a hint of determination. He smiles, a small curious smile that's a little sad but also contains a little hope.

"Now, I want to learn how to be a person too."

And perhaps it's his words and perhaps it's his smile and perhaps it's the fact that what he said reverberated with her very soul itself, but Violet's eyes nearly fill with tears, emotions welling up within her before bursting with brilliant blinding intensity.

"That is a wonderful dream," she murmurs.

"How about you?" he asks suddenly, an almost uncertain look appearing in his eyes.

She doesn't respond immediately, thinking over her response. "When I first left the military four years ago and became a Doll, I didn't know how to be a human," she tells him. "Without orders, I couldn't function. However, with time, I was able to become a person again."

"How did you do it?"

"I accepted my past," she answers. She accepted that she has done terrible things, that she has murdered countless people, that she has prevented them from fulfilling the promises they made to their loved ones, and that she has caused untold pain and heartbreak. She accepted that she had a burning body, and then made her decision from there.

However, she knew that Kakashi has yet to accept his past. He's still running away from it, avoiding it, trying his best to pretend it doesn't exist. And he will likely forever be unable to accept it until he's finished writing the remaining three letters.

"You accepted your past?" he murmurs, a deeply pensive look in his eyes.

She nods before hesitating. Gently, ever so gently, she says, "I think that you need to finish writing the three letters. Until you fully express your feelings, they will only fester within you, tormenting you endlessly, and you will never be able to move on. Please. You know what must be done."

Kakashi looks at her, examining her face. "You came here to try to convince me, didn't you?" he finally says. Though his words are accusatory, his tone is mild, as if he's only objecting as a formality.

She nods. "Yes. I wish to help you."

He tilts his head. "I can't promise that I'll be able to write all three letters today."

"That's fine. I'll keep on coming back, no matter how long it takes."

"Why?" he asks. "Why go so far for me?"

"Because I was burning once before too."

Kakashi regards her, several inscrutable emotions flitting across his face. After a long moment, he says, "Okay."

"You'll write the letters?" she asks.

He nods. "Yes. I'll try my best."

And she smiles.

:::

Kakashi isn't sure why he agreed. Perhaps it is because, despite his inner protests and arguments, he knows on a deeper level that she is right. This entire time, he was running away from his past. Throwing himself into ANBU, taking on countless dangerous missions that borderlined suicidal... all was done in the effort of avoiding the accusing glares of his ghosts.

Even after appearing in this new world, he was still running away. All the peaceful activities he's been doing everyday, he only does because they allow him to take his mind off of things. They're nothing but a crutch, and until he properly confronts his past, he will never truly heal. The incredible weight bearing down his shoulders would only increase and increase until he's ultimately crushed underneath.

He doesn't want that.

Maybe that's why he shared so much of his past with her, even though his shinobi instincts were screaming at him for divulging information. In all fairness, he is used to everyone knowing about his shinobi past, so it wasn't much of a secret to share. He admits, he didn't expect to meet a fellow child soldier in this dimension, as it seemed to be generally heavily discouraged, but he supposes there are exceptions to every rule.

Of course, when she sets up her typewriter and takes off her gloves, Kakashi begins to reconsider his choice. But it's too late now. She glances at him, waiting for him to speak.

Kakashi mentally prepares himself. He needs to confront his past. He needs to confront Sakumo. Only then will he be able to move on.

Move on...

Does he deserve to move on? After all, Sakumo can no longer move on, because he's dead, a blade in his stomach, blood everywhere, empty lifeless eyes staring accusingly at him–

Kakashi bites down hard on his lip so hard it draws blood as he violently rips his mind away from those thoughts.

He still can't do it.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, his gaze downcast. "I still can't say it."

They sit in silence for several minutes.

"Can you," Violet finally speaks up, her voice a little tentative, "tell me about him?"

All of Kakashi's walls instinctively slam down, layers upon layers of defenses that surround his mind. His face automatically blanks, and he's already preparing a misdirection to use–

Then he stops.

He's in an entirely new dimension. He is undoubtedly the strongest individual on the entire planet. Nobody has chakra in this world; most do not even know he exists. The country he resides in is at peace, and no enemies seek to use his past against him.

What does he have to lose by telling her about Sakumo, a man who's already dead?

Hasn't he already decided that if there's a chance that she can help him, a chance at all... then he will take it?

He makes up his mind.

"He was a soldier," he begins, his gaze unfocusing slightly. "One of the best in our village. He... He was the one to raise me. He was the one to first train me, to first teach me how to throw a knife, to first teach me how to use a technique, to read and write and do math."

Violet listens attentively, her face expressionless.

A small smile spreads across his face at the memory. "He was an excellent cook. His eggplant miso soup was delicious, and I would always look forward to our meals together. His wife was dead, so he had to do everything by himself, but he never complained. He was a good da- man."

"However..." His face darkens. "He failed a mission. He chose to save his comrades over fulfilling his duty. The mission's failure triggered the... war. Everyone turned on him, including the people he saved. They all hated him. Despised him. He couldn't even go into the streets without taking abuse. After some time, he couldn't take it anymore. And so..." his eyes close. "He killed himself."

She draws in a sharp breath, her first reaction the entire time he was talking.

"I was the one to find his body," Kakashi murmurs. "He was lying on the ground, blood pooling beneath him, his sword resting besides him." He pauses. "I was five years old."

He opens his eyes again. "And that's the story of Sakumo Hatake," he ends, a note of bitterness to his tone.

A silence descends upon them, permeating the air with its thickness.

"You loved him," Violet observes.

Kakashi hesitates for a moment before nodding. "Yes. Yes, I did." There was no point in denying it. Of course he did. Sakumo was the one to raise him, after all. No matter what happened afterward, he would always think of the early days of his life fondly.

"But you were also angry at him, weren't you?"

He tenses up. "... Yes. After he failed the mission, I – "

"Not that," she interrupts. "You weren't angry at him because he failed the mission, or because he triggered the war." She looks at him, and he feels as if her gaze is piercing into his very soul itself. "No, you were angry at him... because he left you all alone. Isn't that right?"

Kakashi's eyes widen. "I..." He shakes his head violently. "No," he grits out. "That's wrong."

"It isn't."

"It is."

"It isn't," she presses.

"It is," he nearly snarls, and even he's slightly taken aback at how strongly he reacts. "Because... because I killed him," his eyes clench shut in pain. "I was the one to kill him. I don't deserve to be angry at him when his death was all my fault."

He has never uttered these words to anyone before, but there is just something about her that has him baring his past. Perhaps he truly has mellowed out after arriving in this new world, or maybe it's just because he's been dying to get this off his chest for over a decade now and today is just the day when his will weakened at long last and it all came pouring out like a raging thunderstorm.

"What do you mean?" Violet asks.

Kakashi's eyes narrow, but the anger is directed completely inward. "When everyone turned on him, he was fine. He was heavily affected by their words, but they didn't manage to break him. It was only when – when I began to condemn him too, that he finally broke. He killed himself because of me, because I was too weak to avoid being influenced by everyone."

"No," she shakes your head. "You can't say that."

"Because it's true?" he challenges.

"It's not. You were a child," Violet says insistently. "You were only five years old. He was the adult. He was the one who made the irreversible choice to kill himself. You can't blame yourself for that." She leans forward, looking him in the eye, utterly sincere. "It's not your fault."

Kakashi stills.

It's not your fault.

It's strange, really. She hasn't made any compelling arguments. Logically he knows he shouldn't be swayed by her words like this, that he was the one to cause Sakumo's will to finally shatter irreparably, that he was the reason why Sakumo took a sword to his stomach. He knows these as undisputed facts.

But even so... Even so, her words still send a wave of relief, oh so sweet cool relief shooting through his entire being, and he can't help but feel as if a colossal pressure was just lifted off his chest.

It's not your fault.

"Oh," he says.

Then he shakes his head. "I should've known better than to condemn him – "

"That doesn't matter."

"I was a genius – " he tries again, but she interrupts him once more.

"That doesn't matter," Violet repeats unyieldingly. "You did not force him to end his own life. He was the one to make the choice. I understand how you feel. However, blaming yourself will accomplish nothing. It was not your fault."

For a long moment, Kakashi doesn't respond.

Then, in a small voice, he asks, "Can you say it again?"

He cringes inwardly at just how pathetic he sounds, but Violet's expression doesn't change at his request. She merely blinks before her gaze softens. "Of course," she replies gently. "I will say it as many times as you wish. It was not your fault."

And if he was a man who was trapped in a scorching desert all this time without a single drop of water to drink, then her words are the sweet refreshing nectar that brings so much relief and reassurance and comfort to his mind that he very nearly tears up for the first time in years.

He didn't even realize just how desperately he needed to hear those five words until they reached his ears. There isn't any moisture in his eyes, but if he was any less trained or less broken, there almost certainly would be.

"Thank you," he manages to say, his voice wavering slightly. "I–I appreciate it."

Violet smiles. "You're welcome."

She sits there quietly as he closes his eyes, calming himself down. When he feels he's ready, he opens his eyes.

"I would like to try to write the letter again," he says.

She nods and her metal hands hover over the typewriter. "Whenever you're ready."

He sets his expression, determination settling upon his features. He takes a deep breath and thinks of Sakumo, and unlike all the times before, his mind doesn't violently protest.

He's ready.

:::

Dear Sakumo,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for turning my back on you when you needed me the most. I'm sorry for being convinced and swayed by everyone's vitriol. I'm sorry for condemning you. In all honesty, at the time, I only objected to your decision because I hated how people were treating you, and didn't know how to express it. It was a childish fit of misdirected anger, and it will be one that I always regret.

At the same time, however... I wished you had talked to me. Or talked to someone. The Hokage. Jiraiya. Even Gai's father. Anyone.

I really, really wish you didn't leave me alone.

I loved you. I love you, even now.

But I won't lie when I say some resentment lingers as well.

It's alright, though. Because I know you were suffering, and instead of supporting you against the people who hated you, I foolishly took their side. Everyone has a breaking point, and that was when you reached yours. I understand, and... I forgive you.

After you died, I admit I was lost. I began following the rules religiously, even though I internally despised it. It wasn't what you raised me to be. Thankfully, my best friend was able to knock some sense back into me. He told me that you were his hero, that those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their comrades are even worse than trash.

And so, even though your name may not be etched onto the memorial stone, just know that you are still a hero in my heart.

The greatest hero of all time.

I'm proud to be called your son.

And one last thing. I know that I already said that I consider Minato-sensei my father, and I still do.

But you will always be my dad.

Sincerely,

Kakashi Hatake

:::

And he at last was able to finish the letter. For once, Kakashi's emotions aren't swirling agitatedly inside of him as he thinks of Sakumo. His mind is instead tranquil and his expression calm as Violet's fingers come to a stop as well.

There is a moment of silence.

"You say that he killed himself because he was suffering," Violet suddenly says, her expression pensive. "And that was probably true... but was it also possible that he killed himself in order to protect you from the village's judgement?"

Kakashi frowns. "What do you mean–"

He freezes as a memory suddenly resurfaces. Of whispers he had long since forgotten until now.

"What a disgrace of a shinobi. How far the White Fang has fallen."

"His son will probably be the same. I hear that he's graduating this year. He'll probably follow in his father's footsteps."

"How terrible. A family of scum is all they are."

Kakashi pretends he doesn't hear them as he walks through the marketplace, his mask preventing his emotions from being seen. He does, however, cast a glance backward at his dad. His dad's face is stony, but Kakashi knows him well enough to see he's in pain, more pain than he normally is.

At the time, he hadn't thought much about it, but now, in retrospect...

Kakashi's eyes widen as his mind immediately connects the dots and forms a picture in his mind. Sakumo must've known that there was no redeeming his name. For the rest of his life, he would live in disgrace, the populace of Konoha sneering upon his every move. And if he was alone, then maybe it would be fine, but Sakumo had a son, a bright brilliant son who he loved with all his might, and he wouldn't have wanted his son to suffer because of who he was, so he killed himself to remove himself from the equation, all so that Kakashi could live without his failures dragging him down–

Slowly, dimly, he feels his mask become wet. His eyes are prickling with an unfamiliar sensation.

Ah.

He's crying, isn't he?

Sakumo's sacrifice –

No.

His dad's sacrifice...

He forgot it once before, but he never will again.

"Yes," he whispers. "He did it to protect me. To ensure I could live a good life in Konoha even if he no longer could." He clenches his eyes shut. "Dad..."

And right then, right there, Kakashi decides that no matter how long it takes, no matter how difficult it might be, he will finish writing the final two letters. It will be hard, and it will likely cause him unimaginable amounts of pain, but he will not give up. He will give it his absolute all.

Because he is Sakumo Hatake's son.

:::

"I don't think I can write the next letter yet," he says. His emotions are still far too raw right now. He needs time to process things.

"It's fine," she replies. "We don't have to do everything today. I can come back later."

He nods gratefully. Then there's a sudden ringing sound of a timer, and he realizes with a start that the bread is finally done baking. He makes his way over to the oven. He is rather pleased with his oven; he rescued it from its former corrupt owners and, with some ingenious seal work, he was able to power the oven with several seals that he periodically refills with lightning chakra to function as electricity.

Putting on his oven mitts, he reaches inside the oven to take out the tray. A delicious rich smell fills the room, savory and tantalizing. Grabbing a knife, he cuts out two large pieces and sets them onto ceramic plates, carrying them over to the table. He then pours out two glasses of water from a jar. The water itself came from the nearby stream, and he both purified it with chakra and boiled it.

"Bread with pork filling," he muses as he hands her some handcrafted chopsticks. "I admit, it's a new recipe for me, but it's one I've been wanting to try out for quite some time." Although he supposes it's less of a bread and more of a pie at this point, but then again, he was never one to care much for semantics.

Violet regards the chopsticks with an intrigued expression. "What are these?"

Kakashi blinks. "Oh right, you don't use chopsticks in this country. I can get you a fork and knife."

She shakes her head. "No. Teach me, please."

He hesitates, then nods. He demonstrates how to use the chopsticks, and after just a few attempts, Violet has pretty much mastered it with surprising dexterity. He eyes her metal prosthetics. They are good, and he honestly has no idea how they function.

Even though they both have plates in front of them, neither of them moves a muscle to eat. Slowly, the silence drags on until Kakashi's eyes flicker.

"Are you going to eat?" he asks.

She pauses. Tilts her head to the side slightly. "I'm still not used to eating with others yet," she confesses. "You're the most vulnerable when you're eating." She then glances pointedly at his own untouched plate. "Why aren't you eating?"

"Because I dislike taking off my mask," he answers truthfully. Normally, he would wait until she was distracted before he scarfs everything down in the blink of an eye, but she isn't giving him any openings.

"Ah," she says.

There is a moment of silence.

"I'll eat it on the way home," she decides, standing up.

"Good idea," he agrees, standing up as well.

She has already packed up her typewriter, and he walks her to the door, half the bread in a paper bag. He opens the door and steps to the side to allow her out.

"Do you have everything, Evergarden?"

"I do," she answers. "And please call me Violet."

"Only if you'll call me Kakashi," he returns.

She pauses. "As an Auto Memoir Doll, a certain level of professionalism is expected to be maintained at all times," she says slowly. He opens his mouth to object, but she continues. "But if it is your desire to be called that, then I will oblige, Kakashi."

Kakashi nods. "Thank you for today, Violet."

Violet smiles. "I'm glad to have been able to help."

:::

That night, he dreams of a warm campfire, the stars illuminating the night sky overhead. Though the setting is unfamiliar, the outline of his dad standing there, face blurred and hazy, is not. He has had countless similar dreams – though they quickly turned into nightmares.

Kakashi swallows as he stares at his dad, already prepared for the moon to turn crimson and blood to flow down his dad's face and excruciating gashes to open up on his body in a silent reminder of what Kakashi did to him.

He is not, however, prepared for the figure to flicker slightly. He blinks, and when he opens up his eyes again, instead of an accusing stare of lifeless eyes greeting him, his dad is instead smiling at him, a smile full of warmth and pride and love.

Kakashi inhales sharply, his eyes widening slightly.

"Thank you," his dad says, and the sheer gratitude and relief in his voice is overflowing. Then he turns around and begins walking away, away from Kakashi who's still standing at the campfire completely unmoving, and the dream slowly darkens until the light from the campfire and moon and stars is completely gone and absolute darkness remains.

And as Kakashi wakes up in his bed, sunlight filtering in through the windows and birdsong filling his ears, he swears he hears his dad's voice murmur, "And I finally get to see your mother again."

:::

Exactly a week later, she knocks on the door to his house again. She waits outside for nearly a minute before the door swings open to reveal Kakashi. He looks... well, terrible. There is a dark circle under his single visible eye, and though his posture is still perfect, he gives off an extremely tired air.

"Violet," Kakashi says in greeting, and his voice is a little more subdued than usual.

"Kakashi," she inclines her head. "Are you well?"

He hesitates. "Yeah. I... I had some bad nightmares last night. Didn't get much sleep."

She purses her lips. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He opens his mouth, then flinches imperceptibly. "No," he says, a little too fast. "I would rather not. I–I don't think I can write the letter today. Sorry you came all this way for nothing."

"It is alright," Violet assures him. She is about to turn to leave when she catches sight of his expression. He really does look exhausted, and not just physically. He looks utterly spent emotionally and mentally as well. For some reason, he is constantly rubbing his right hand, the movement seemingly done unconsciously. She makes her decision on an impulse. "May I come in?"

It takes him a moment to respond. "Alright."

She steps inside, closing the door behind her. She does not lock it, because there is no lock on the door.

"You don't have a lock installed on the door?" she asks curiously.

"The official reason is that a lock wouldn't stop anyone determined to break in," he answers. "It would only be redundant."

"I see," she hums. "What is the unofficial reason?"

"It was too big of a hassle to install."

"Ah," she says.

They step into the living room. Kakashi wavers for a moment, as if he is unsure on what to do, before he just awkwardly stands to the side. The living room, like the rest of the house, is extremely threadbare – there is just a single admittedly luxurious couch in the middle facing a fireplace built into the wall. Other than that, there is nothing else in the room. Not even a rug on the ground.

"Were you in the middle of doing something?" she asks him.

He shakes his head. "No. I was just about to start playing the piano."

She blinks. "You play?"

He nods. "Yes, I started several months ago." He pauses. "Would you like to hear?"

She nods. "That would be appreciated."

Kakashi opens his mouth but then pauses, an uncomfortable expression passing over his face. "Can you leave the room for a moment?"

Violet frowns but nods, stepping out of the room and waiting dutifully in the hallway.

After about half a minute, he calls out, "Okay, you can come back in now."

She steps back into the room – and blinks in surprise.

The leather couch is gone, and in its place is an entire grand piano. Her eyes flicker around, trying to figure out how he had moved the couch out and the piano in and through where had he moved them because other than a window and the doorway she stood in, there were no other entrances. She came up with nothing. "How did you do that?" she asks, confused.

Kakashi's eye crinkles into a half-moon crescent. He still looks tired, but a little life has returned to his eyes. "Magic," he answers.

She stares at him, utterly unamused. He looks back at her innocently.

"I see," she says, her voice drier than a desert.

He sits down on the piano bench, adjusting it for a moment before resting his hands on top of the ivory keys. He flexes his fingers and closes his eyes, breathing in deeply. Then he begins to play.

The melody washes over her, and she closes her eyes to listen. It is sad, full of melancholy and nostalgia – but there's a tinge of hope to it as well. It makes her feel empty but also impossibly full of emotions. The melody itself is rather simplistic, but she has no other words to describe it other than beautiful.

For someone who only started a few months ago, his skill with the piano is practically flawless, and she admits she cannot tell the difference between his playing and the professional pianists she's heard before on her journeys.

Finally, the song comes to an end with one final high note. She opens her eyes again to see his face clouded over with several indecipherable emotions, and she immediately knows that he poured his entire soul into the music just now. The pain and sorrow and longing in his heart – he channeled it all into the hauntingly beautiful melody. Sheer raw emotion imbued every note, and his feelings rang clear.

"It was beautiful," she whispers.

"Thank you," he inclines his head.

"Who wrote the song?" she asks. "I've never heard it before."

"I composed it myself."

Violet blinks in surprise. "I see. What is the song called?"

He opens his mouth but then falters. "I... haven't named it yet. Hmm..." his brows furrow slightly as he thinks it over. "Sadness and Sorrow," he decides. "I name it Sadness and Sorrow."

"Sadness and Sorrow," she repeats. "It suits it."

Kakashi smiles. "Yes, I thought it might. Do you play an instrument as well?"

She shakes her head. "I wanted to learn the violin," she admits. "Ever since I wrote a letter for a famous violinist, I've wanted to be able to play. However, I never got around to it."

"I see," he hums. "That's a pity. I never really got into music until I arrived in this country, and it is definitely one of the best choices I've ever made."

She nods. "Music is like writing a letter, in a way," she muses contemplatively. "They are both mediums that allow you to express the feelings you normally can't say."

"Indeed," he agrees. "Would you like to hear another piece?"

"Yes, please."

They spend the entire afternoon having an impromptu little concerto. Kakashi, she discovers, is an absolute musical genius. He has already composed several songs and mastered countless others. His finger dexterity is insane, and the sheer level of control he wields over the piano is downright impressive. With the piano, he is able to recreate the sound and range of an entire orchestra.

"Don't you have work today?" he asks after they're back inside his house.

She shakes her head. "Today's my break day," she answers. It's the weekend, after all, though now that she thinks about it, Kakashi may not even know the concept of not working on weekends.

His eyes flicker. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?"

"You're wasting your time with me instead of having a break – "

Violet stops him by holding up her hand. "I want to be here," she tells him. "I enjoyed our time together today." She's not even lying to make him feel better; she genuinely had fun listening to him play.

"Ah," he says. "I see." And that's the end of it.

:::

Like clockwork, she comes back exactly a week later. Like before, Kakashi isn't ready to write the letter yet, and he tells her so. He looks as if he's half expecting her to get annoyed or impatient, but she merely nods in understanding.

"May I come in?" she asks.

He doesn't even hesitate this time. "Yes," he answers, already stepping to the side. "I have something for you."

She tilts her head curiously. "What is it?"

"Follow me." He leads her into the living room again, and she trails after him with some trepidation.

Then she stops dead in her tracks at what she sees.

The living room is no longer as bare as before. There is a wooden case on the floor, and it is open to reveal a beautiful mahogany violin sitting on a bed of red velvet. Her sky blue eyes widen slightly in shock.

"I remember what you said last week, about wanting to learn how to play the violin," Kakashi speaks up next to her. "You helped me immensely with writing the two letters, and I wanted to thank you somehow. And... well, everyone deserves to play music at least once in their lifetime, so I decided to kill two birds with one kunai."

"You bought a violin for me?" she asks, ignoring his strange metaphor.

He pauses. "In a manner of speaking." She opens her mouth to ask but he shakes her head. "Trust me, you don't want to know."

She frowns but accepts it. He probably just called in a favor or something. That said, she does feel an emotion stirring in her chest as she gazes upon the violin. It takes her a moment to pinpoint it as excitement.

"May I test it out?" she asks.

He nods. "Go ahead."

She takes out the violin delicately. It takes her a while to assume the correct position, but she still recalls dim memories of violinists playing at various parties and such, and she's able to replicate their body position from memory. It's a bit uncomfortable, but she has gone through much more uncomfortable experiences so she ignores it.

He hands her the violin bow, and she experimentally places her fingers over the strings, presses down randomly, and slides the bow down perpendicular to the strings.

The sound she creates is downright horrendous, but she doesn't stop. She continues pressing down randomly with her fingers and dragging the bow back and forth, the violin letting out ungodly sounds.

Kakashi breaks after about twenty seconds of this. "Please stop," he says. "What are you doing? You can't just draw the bow back and forth repeatedly like that."

"I'm acclimating my hands," she replies.

He blinks. "What?" Then comprehension dawns as he eyes her metal prosthetics. "Oh. Oh, I see."

She simply nods. She needs to first get used to the amount of pressure she can place on the strings, how tightly she can grip the bow, and the overall durability of the violin. Fortunately, her metal prosthetics were crafted by the best, and their precision and control are on par with real organic limbs. If she can even braid her hair with her hands, then she can play the violin.

After several more tests, she places down the violin and the violin bow. Rolling up her sleeves, she exposes her metal prosthetics and begins adjusting the mechanisms at her elbow region, fine-tuning it to the maximum dexterity settings. Through all of this, he watches her silently, his expression unreadable as he gazes upon her silver arms.

When she's done tuning them, she rolls down her sleeves and picks up the violin and violin bow again. Then she turns to him. "Do you happen to know how to play the notes?" she asks.

He nods and steps forward. He has already memorized the corresponding notes and key positions, and he spends the entire afternoon teaching them to her. It is slow going at first, and undoubtedly one of the most physically difficult tasks she's done since the end of the war, but she was considered Leidenschaftlich's best soldier for a reason, and she is able to soon get the hang of it.

After a few hours have passed, she has already memorized all the key positions and is able to deftly play a simple piece. It is not perfect by any means, and she definitely needs considerable amounts of practice, but for a first attempt with metal hands – it's not that bad. She's fortunate that her prosthetics are crafted from the finest quality of adamantium, the metal's special properties allowing the sound of the violin to not be unduly affected despite her fingers not being flesh.

"You can take the violin home with you," Kakashi says when she's leaving. "It's yours. Consider it payment."

"You've already paid me for writing your letters," Violet reminds him.

"Consider it a gift, then."

She inclines her head. "Thank you."

Before she goes to sleep that night, she spends an hour practicing the violin. It isn't quite the same as writing a letter, but both have their own charm to them.

:::

In the next two weeks, she visits during the weekends on the same day at the same time. She rather enjoys their meetings. It feels different from spending time with Hodgins and Cattleya and the other Dolls. Perhaps it's because Kakashi is so similar to her; with their child soldier backgrounds, they are practically kindred spirits.

Violet slowly learns more about him. He was considered a combat prodigy in his country. His favorite meal is eggplant soup with a strange imported ingredient called miso and salt-broiled saury, both of which he cooked for her and both of which were delicious. He dislikes sweet things. He prefers sad songs to happy songs and apparently he still has his vision in his left eye; he just chooses to cover it up for some reason.

However, during both meetings, he is unable to even begin the third letter. Every time she asks, his expression darkens and he clams up. She doesn't push him, trusting that he will open up when he is prepared.

A month after she wrote the letter to Sakumo, she arrives at his house again and raises her hand to knock on the door. Before she can, however, the door swings open, Kakashi somehow having anticipated that she was there. His expression is determined.

"I'm ready," is all he says.

Violet nods.

They sit down at the table, and Kakashi waits for her to set up her typewriter and take off her gloves.

"Who shall I address this letter to?" she asks once she's finished with her preparations.

"Rin. Rin Nohara," he says quietly.

Violet nods, typing out the letters before looking at him, awaiting the message.

There is a long moment of silence.

After a minute, Kakashi lets out a sigh filled with barely-concealed frustration. "So I still can't say it, huh?" he mutters to himself, voice filled with self-loathing.

She can see that he's about to give up, and she doesn't want that because she doesn't know when will be the next time he attempts to speak, so she tries to help him along. "Who is she?" she asks. Talking about Sakumo seemed to help Kakashi open up before so perhaps talking about this Rin will help him here as well.

Kakashi doesn't respond for a long time, so long that she's afraid he's firmly shut himself behind layers of walls. Finally, he says in a faint whisper, "She was my teammate."

She pauses. "Was?"

When he nods, there is a slight tremble to it. She has never seen him like this before. Under normal circumstances, she would've backed off, but she knows that he wants to write the letter, so she continues asking questions.

"How did she die?" Violet asks. "Was it during your war?"

Another nod, this time even more reluctant. His shoulders have tensed up and he's slightly drawn into himself. What could have happened for him to have such an adverse reaction when talking about her-?

An answer pops into her mind that makes a frightening amount of sense.

"Do you blame yourself for her death?" Violet asks quietly.

Kakashi stiffens, his entire body going taut. "Yes," he says tightly, his voice measured and controlled.

Empathy floods through Violet as her light blue eyes flicker. So she was correct. She knows both from personal and secondhand experience how it feels to lose someone and blame yourself. Kakashi must've made a mistake on the battlefield and it resulted in the death of Rin. That explains why it's so difficult for him to talk about it – the survivor's guilt is enough to render anyone mute.

"You shouldn't," she murmurs. "You shouldn't blame yourself for what happens on a battlefield. War is inherently chaotic and unpredictable, and it's impossible for you to predict everything and make the right choice every single time. It is natural for mistakes to happen–"

Kakashi laughs, cutting her off. His laughter is a little unhinged, the pitch just slightly off, filled with pain and sorrow and bitter amusement. "Mistake?" he echoes. "Mistakes are when you make the wrong call to attack. Mistakes are when you act on faulty intelligence. Mistakes are when you accidentally fail to block an attack, or don't kill an enemy in time, or commit a tactical blunder."

He holds up his right hand, and her eyes widen when she sees how madly it's spasming. "Mistakes are not, however, shoving your hand through the heart of your teammate who you promised to protect." He's practically snarling at this point, but she can tell the anger isn't directed at her. "No, Rin's death was not a mistake. I killed her. Ended her life. Watched the light drain from her eyes as she bled out on my hand."

Violet watches him as he finishes, his usually tempoed breathing rough and uneven. His eye is narrowed and unfocused as if he was being consumed by a memory, and his right hand won't stop shaking. The weight of the memory is crushing him, she realizes, fracturing his spirit and splintering his psyche. She suddenly understands why it always takes him so long to wash his hands, why he's always rubbing at his hands, why he always tries to hide them from view. His hands... they're covered in blood.

"How did it happen?" she asks. She needs to help him. If he cannot withstand the memory by himself, then she will gladly bear it with him. She can only hope that he is still able to talk about it.

Kakashi doesn't respond at first, causing her brows to draw together in worry. Then the light in his eye dulls and his entire posture shifts, and suddenly it feels like she's facing a completely different person. "She was captured by enemy forces. I was able to rescue her, but the enemy sent a squadron of high-level soldiers after us."

There is a clinical quality to his voice that wasn't there before, as if he's slipped into some headspace, distancing himself from the words that he's saying.

"However, though it may appear on the surface that they were either attempting to retrieve or assassinate their hostage, the reality is that everything was a facade. They had implanted a proximity-based explosive inside of her that was set to detonate the moment she stepped back into our home village. They wanted her to escape. Both she and I came to this conclusion as we were on the run, and seeing as I didn't have a method of removing the explosive, she asked me to kill her. I refused and engaged in combat with the enemy combatants."

There is a terrible feeling emerging in the pit of Violet's stomach, as if she already unconsciously knows what's coming.

"I was able to hold all of them off," he continues. "Though they were skilled, I was better. However... The explosive implanted into her, if detonated, would've killed thousands of people and irreparably crippled our forces. If I lost against the enemy soldiers, then they would likely kidnap her once more and forcibly relocate her to our village. She deemed this an unacceptable risk. And so, she..."

His composure breaks and he squeezes his eyes shut in pain.

"She leaped in between me and the enemy when I was unleashing a highly destructive attack. I didn't have any time to stop. One moment, I was about to kill an enemy soldier. The next moment, she was staring in my eyes, my hand shoved straight through her heart."

Violet could see the scene in her mind. The shock and disbelief and denial he must've felt slowly morphing into horror and despair. The warm flesh enveloping his hand and the red rivers flowing down his hand and dripping onto the ground.

"She said my name right before she died," he whispers. "She said my name while looking me in the eye. She was crying. I saw tears in her eyes. It wasn't a painless death. It was excruciatingly painful. She was burned alive, all the nerves in her body overloaded by electricity. People normally die instantly, but her will to live was strong enough that she remained alive for several seconds after she was impaled. She must've desperately wanted to live, but..."

His voice chokes and he falls silent.

Violet hesitates for a moment before reaching out and holding his right hand between hers, trying to soothe its uncontrollable spasms and give him some warmth. She stays like this for a minute, processing everything he told her. There is something important in what he said, underneath all the layers of sorrow and tragedy, but what is it?

Her eyes flicker when she comes to a realization.

Ah. So that's what it is.

:::

Kakashi is vaguely aware of her holding his hand. The rest of his mind is busy looping the memory of Rin's death, the look on her face as she whispered his name.

Then Violet says something that makes his entire body freeze up in shock.

"You are angry at her, aren't you?"

His eyes widen and he whips his head over to stare at her. "What?"

"You are angry at her," Violet states calmly. "You are angry at her for jumping in front of you. You are angry at her for using you in her suicide. You are angry at her for making you kill her."

"No – " Kakashi shakes his head in vehement denial but she cuts him off.

"You do not blame yourself for her death like you did with Mr Sakumo. It is clear that you are well aware that it was out of your control, that it was simply a terrible tragedy. It isn't your fault, and nobody would blame you for it."

He wants to refute her composed analysis, but for some reason his mouth isn't working. He can only mutely shake his head.

"The true emotion you're feeling is anger. Anger, and guilt. You feel guilty for being angry at her, so you punish yourself by never allowing yourself to move on."

Violet's gaze softens.

"She isn't haunting you, Kakashi. You are the one forcing her ghost to remain."

Kakashi tenses up and he looks as if he wants to run away from her words, but she tightens her hold on his hand because he needs to hear this.

"But it's okay for you to be angry at her," she continues, staring him in the eyes intently. "You didn't ask to kill her. You never wanted it. She forced the unbearable burden onto you, of making you into a murderer who killed his own friend. It's okay to be angry at her, to be resentful and furious and frustrated. You're allowed to feel what you're feeling."

Kakashi is silent for a long moment as her words echo around his head.

She...

He closes his eyes.

As usual, she is absolutely right.

He may be filled with self-loathing and survivor's guilt and heavens knows how many other issues, but even he knows that he shouldn't blame himself for Rin's death. It isn't fault, and he's aware of that.

The true reason why he sees Rin's ghost haunting his every step, why the blood on his hands never seems to fade away...

It's because he's angry at her, and he's angry at himself for being angry at her. He doesn't have the right to be angry at her. She sacrificed herself, dying an agonizing death, just to protect the village. All his resentment and anger and helpless frustration... he doesn't deserve to aim any of it at Rin.

But...

It's okay to be angry at her.

Is... is he really allowed to?

You're allowed to feel what you're feeling.

And he accepts it.

"You're right," Kakashi says, and saying those two words sends a rush of energy surging through him. "I was angry at her. I am angry at her."

When he admits it, finally letting out the words he's kept locked up for years, he feels as if a tension he hasn't even noticed before was lifted from him, and a state of tranquility settles over him.

"She threw herself onto my hand and forced me to commit the absolute worst atrocity I could ever enact. She put me through endless nightmares and nearly caused my mind to break. I hate how she forced me to kill her and caused me to break my promise and made me into a Friend Killer" – and as he speaks, his voice steadily increases in volume and intensity until he's practically shouting – "and the truly, truly hilarious part is that in the end it was all pointless!"

Kakashi laughs humorlessly, his grey eye filled with pain and suffering. He vaguely notices that he's standing now, that he knocked his chair to his ground and that his entire body is shaking, but he doesn't care.

"Her death was for nothing!" He slashes his hand through the air, his chakra rippling agitatedly within him. "Everything would've turned out fine even if she hadn't killed herself because our teacher was already coming for us. He knew how to defuse the explosive and save everyone. But no, she was just too impatient to wait, too stupid to think that maybe there were other possibilities besides her sacrificing herself, too impulsive to reconsider her actions before it was too late. And now I'm the one who has to live with it, suffering every single day with the knowledge that she would be still alive if only she had just waited two fucking minutes for Minato-sensei to arrive–"

His voice cracks, and he breathes in deeply, trying to regain control over himself but he can't, his breaths are shaky and irregular and gods he might be hyperventilating –

When gentle arms wrap around him. "It must've been so painful," she whispers, her voice soft and understanding. "I'm sorry, Kakashi."

And he fucking loses it. A sob rips through him as he cries, not just shedding some tears but truly full-blown sobbing for the first time in his memory. Tears are streaming down his face and his mask is wet and his breaths are jagged and his emotions are raw and he's pretty sure he's forgotten how to cry because some of the sounds he's making does not sound right.

Violet rubs his back soothingly as he lets out his emotions. She doesn't say anything. She doesn't need to. Her presence is enough.

For the longest time, he had hated himself. Because how could he possibly have been angry at Rin after she was killed in such a painful fashion by his very own hand? How could he have possibly condemned her sacrifice that protected thousands in their village? Those questions and countless others plagued his mind for years, causing him to reject the part of himself that never truly let go of the anger and resentment and frustration.

But with Violet's words, he's finally able to accept it. He comes to terms with the anger and resentment and frustration he's repressed for so long, accepts it, lets it pass through him, and for the first time in a long time, he allows himself to feel hope. Hope that perhaps, just maybe, he can let go of the emotions and the blood will fade away and he can at long last move on.

Ever since Rin died by his hands, he has been frozen in time, refusing to let himself heal out of guilt and self-hatred.

Until now.

And as his tears begin ebbing away and his breaths start stabilizing, in the background the rusted wheels of time slowly start turning once more.

It takes him another minute before he's calmed down enough to speak without a shuddering breath. Violet releases him from the hug but she doesn't return to her seat yet. She stands in front of him, looking at him with sky blue eyes filled with concern and care despite the embarrassing display she just witnessed and the tear stains left on her jacket, and at that moment Kakashi thinks to himself, I don't deserve her.

"I'm okay now," Kakashi smiles. "Thank you, Violet."

She peers at him, her eyes scanning over his face, and she must be satisfied with what she sees because she nods and returns to her seat. He too picks up the chair that's clattered to the ground behind him and sits down once more.

"I think," Kakashi says, "that I can write the letter now."

Violet nods, poising her fingers over her typewriter.

And he begins.

:::

Dear Rin,

I'll get the difficult part out of the way first. Rin, you are one of my most precious friends, and when Obito died you were the one who kept me sane and going on.

But even so...

You are an idiot. A stupid, reckless, impulsive, self-sacrificial idiot. I was so angry at you, you know. You selfishly used me to commit suicide, seemingly not considering the effect killing you would have on me. You ignored my wishes and foolishly went ahead with your plan. I understand that you were desperate and terrified and afraid, but I really, really wish you had just trusted me. Because if only you had just waited two minutes before throwing yourself in front of my Chidori, Minato-sensei would've arrived and slaughtered all the Kiri nin chasing us and neutralized your seal and saved the day. Two minutes, Rin, two fucking minutes. And yes, I know I'm swearing despite the fact that I avoid using profanity, but you know what, I don't care right now because by the gods I'm so fucking frustrated it physically hurts.

But it's okay. Your sacrifice was done with the best intentions. You are brave, Rin. Easily the bravest girl I know. It takes courage to do what you did, but you did it without any hesitation, all so you could protect the village.

I'm frustrated, and I may despise what you did, but I will never hate you.

Because despite everything I said, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for killing you. I'm sorry your death had to be so painful. I'm sorry you had to die by my hands. I'm sorry for not being good enough at sealing and I'm sorry for not being strong enough to instantly overwhelm the Kiri nin and I'm sorry for not telling you that Minato-sensei would probably be arriving soon.

We both made mistakes that day. Terrible mistakes that resulted in a sorrowful tragedy.

As a teammate, as a friend, as family... I love you, Rin, and no matter what I've gone through, nothing will ever change that.

Thank you for keeping the peace between me and Obito whenever we argued. Thank you for always checking up on me to make sure I'm alright even if I didn't appreciate it at the time. Thank you for always healing me. Thank you for implanting Obito's eye into me. Thank you for not giving up on me after Obito died.

Thank you for everything, Rin.

Sincerely,

Kakashi Hatake

:::

"Did it help?" Violet asks when he finishes.

Kakashi considers it for a moment, his expression pensive yet also hopeful. He glances down at his hands. For a terrifying second, he sees red. Then he blinks and his vision flickers and his hands are clear. He doesn't feel Rin's accusing stare drilling a hole into his back anymore, and he no longer smells the phantom scent of charred flesh, no longer hears her weakly calling out his name.

He feels lighter. Freer. His mind is clearer than it's been for years, and when he thinks about Rin, the first thought that pops to mind isn't lifeless eyes or a gaping hole in her chest but rather her fond, exasperated smile as she regards him and Obito arguing for what has to be the hundredth time.

"Yeah," Kakashi says. Slowly, a small smile spreads across his face. "Yeah, I think it did."

Violet smiles. "I'm glad."

:::

When she comes back a week later, Kakashi is already outside waiting for her. He is in the middle of leaning against a tree and watching the clouds in the sky when he sees her out of the corner of his eye. He turns and raises his hand in greeting. "Violet," he calls. "Good afternoon."

"Good afternoon," Violet says, coming to a stop in front of him. "Are you capable of finishing the final letter today?"

He shakes his head. "Sorry. I still need some more time."

As usual, she doesn't get impatient or frustrated. She nods. "That is fine."

"There is something I want to show you today though," Kakashi says.

Violet doesn't give an obvious reaction, but he can tell that she's interested by the inquisitive flicker of her eyes.

He smiles. "Close your eyes for a moment."

Violet stares at him blankly.

"Please?"

After a moment, she says, "Very well" and closes her eyes.

Immediately, Kakashi flips through a chain of hand signs before slamming his hand to the ground.

Summoning Jutsu.

There are a bunch of small pops, and his ninken appear in a puff of chakra smoke that quickly dissipates.

Violet, for her part, tensed up slightly when she heard the noise but didn't open her eyes. Kakashi pauses when he realizes that as a war veteran, she must not have good experiences with sounds reminiscent of explosions no matter how quiet they are, and the fact that she didn't open her eyes to see what happened is a sign of how much she trusted him. It felt... nice, in a way.

"You can open your eyes now."

Violet does so, and her eyes widen when she sees eight dogs staring back at her, tails wagging excitedly. She doesn't say anything; it appears she is frozen by the sight.

Kakashi hurries to explain. "I've had these dogs since I was just a child and they were little puppies. They've stuck with me all these years and are some of my closest friends. And – well, you're my friend too, so I wanted you to meet them, I guess..."

He trails off awkwardly when she tenses up at his words. When he says it out loud like that... He admits it sounds a little questionable. He can see Pakkun snickering quietly to himself at him. Desperately trying to salvage the situation, he says, "Also, I remember seeing a dog stuffed animal on your desk when I first visited you all those weeks ago, and I thought that you might like dogs, so – "

"I'm your friend?" Violet asks.

Kakashi blinks, then hides a wince. "I consider you one," he says, because it's too late to back out now. In the end, she's only here because he hired her, after all, and now he's gone and made everything weird. But, well, the actions she's done in the past few weeks weren't exactly professional either, so he feels like he can be excused for thinking they had a friendship between them, but on second thought, perhaps he was too forward.

"I understand if you don't feel the same, though," he hastily adds, but then pauses when he sees the expression on her face.

Violet is smiling, a soft smile of joy and happiness. It's so pure that it makes even his heart melt slightly. He has never seen her smile like this before during all their meetings.

"You don't need to worry. You're my friend as well, Kakashi," she says simply.

He draws in a sharp breath before smiling. They regard each other silently for a moment–

When a pointed cough comes from below them. Kakashi looks down to see his dogs gazing up at them impatiently.

Kakashi chuckles. "Yes, yes," he murmurs affectionately as he kneels down. "Sorry to keep you guys waiting."

Violet kneels down onto the grass next to him as well. "What are their names?" she inquires.

He points at a ninken with whiskers. "That's Guruko" – he points at a larger ninken with dark brown fur – "that's Bull" – a ninken that resembles a wolf – "that's Urushi" – a ninken with silver fur – "that's Shiba" – a ninken with black circles around his eyes like glasses – "that's Bisuke" – a ninken that does have sunglasses resting on his snout – "that's Akino" – a ninken with reddish brown fur – "that's Uhei" – he points at the ninken at the front of the pack, the smallest of them all – "and finally the little one is Pakkun."

Violet nods, and he already knows that she's committed all their names to memory. "I see."

Since she doesn't know about chakra yet, Kakashi told his ninken beforehand to hide their true nature and pretend that they can't talk or rip a human to shreds in seconds. They weren't happy about it, but they understood the need and agreed to act as normal dogs –

Pakkun strolls up to her and says, "Woof." As in, he literally says the word woof. Kakashi nearly facepalms then and there.

Fortunately, Violet doesn't seem to think it's strange, and she reaches out and pats Pakkun on the head. A low satisfied rumble sounds from Pakkun as she pets him, prompting his other dogs to also surge forward, tails wagging.

She reaches out with her other hand as well as she begins the arduous task of pampering them all. She runs her hand through their fur and scratches behind their ears and pats them on the head and generally acquiesces to their every demand. She remains expressionless as she does so, but Kakashi can see how her eyes lights up in delight. His ninken are loving it as well, nuzzling into her hands with gusto and rolling on the ground exposing their bellies for belly rubs.

Though he'll never say it out loud, Kakashi has to privately admit that the scene of Violet playing with his ninken is incredibly cute. Right now, she really does look like a normal girl. He surreptitiously raises his headband to memorize the sight with his sharingan.

"If this is what the Captain meant when he called me the Major's dog," Violet murmurs absently, "then perhaps it wasn't such an insult after all."

Kakashi blinks.

:::

"So, are you ever going to introduce us to this mysterious Kakashi you've been seeing every week?" Cattleya asks as they're finishing up for the day. The sun is setting and all the customers are long gone.

Violet pauses from where she's holding a stack of paper. "Do you want to meet him?"

"Of course!" Cattleya exclaims. "I want to see just who it is that has you in such good spirits every time you return from his house."

Violet furrows her brow. "What are you talking about?"

"Now, now," Iris grins. "You don't need to bother denying it." She and Cattleya share a knowing smile. "We've all been there before, don't worry."

She blinks in confusion. "I don't understand."

"Mmm," Cattleya hums indulgently before a mischievous spark enters her eyes. "Well, if you ever need to write a love letter, just know that you can come to me anytime."

Violet stares at her. What does a love letter have to do with anything – Oh.

"We're not like that," she says. "We're just friends."

Her denial seems to have the opposite intended effect. Iris's hands fly to her mouth in shock. "You called him your friend," she breathes. "Not a client. A friend."

"I've made friends with clients before," Violet frowns. "My first friend was Isabella."

"Right, of course," Cattleya smiles in a way that says she completely ignored what she just said. "Now I really want to meet him."

"Meet who?" Hodgins as he enters the room, Benedict trailing in behind him.

Cattleya turns to him. "You know how Violet has been using her day off every week to visit someone out in the forest?"

Hodgins blinks. "She has?"

Cattleya stares at him incredulously. "You didn't notice?"

"You know how busy I've been lately. The construction of the new radio tower is starting," Hodgins nods out the window at the tower that's being built. "I've been swamped in work trying to figure out the future of this company."

"Fair enough," Cattleya says. "Anyhow, starting from about two months ago, Violet has been meeting with a mysterious Kakashi every weekend."

Hodgin pauses. "This Kakashi..."

"He's a guy," Cattleya confirms.

Hodgins's gaze sharpens. "Go on."

"Every time our dear Violet returns from his house, she's always in the most excellent of moods," Cattleya says. "She's always looking forward to visiting him."

Hodgins turns to regard Violet. "Is this true?"

Violet hesitates. "Yes," she says after a moment, because technically Cattleya is telling the truth, but she still doesn't really like the teasing smile on her face or the way Hodgins's eyes narrow further.

"Alright," Hodgins claps his hands together, a grim expression on his face. "I'm meeting with this guy. I need to have a talk with him. Violet, the next time you see him, can you invite him to join us for dinner?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"No. Either he comes to us, or I go to him."

Violet exhales. "Very well. I'll invite him."

How troublesome.

:::

Kakashi has gotten used to her showing up every week. She only stays for a few hours at a time, but her visits are definitely the high points of his weeks. After living in isolation for so long, it's nice to have some human companionship from time to time. He finds himself looking forward to the days she comes.

She was a little late one week, so instead of waiting for her, he decided to go pick her up from the mansion. She was pleasantly surprised when she found him knocking at her window once more, and together they made their way back to his house, buying food and miscellaneous trinkets along the way. It was an enjoyable experience, so he falls into the habit of meeting up with her at the mansion every week – taking care to avoid the other civilians, of course. He didn't want to raise awkward questions.

For some reason, he's strangely comfortable with her. Well, after he literally cried on her shoulder and told her more about himself than he did to anyone else in his life, it makes sense that he's more open with her. Not to mention how he's mellowed out even more. No longer is he filled with paranoia and mistrust brought on by necessity. He isn't normal by any means, but he's definitely less... shinobi than he was before.

Violet has improved dramatically at the violin, and he wouldn't be surprised if she's considered a prodigy as well. He still doesn't fully understand how she can play the violin with her metal hands, but he chalks it up to the metal's odd properties. Sometimes, they'll spend hours just playing duets, the beautiful sound washing over them as they get lost in the music.

Other days, they'll just spend hours talking. He learns about her past, of how she was this country's girl soldier, a combat doll, who was sent in whenever they needed a certain victory, of how a Major Gilbert took her in and practically raised her like a father, of how the end of the war led to the start of her life as an Auto Memoir Doll.

"I believe the Major is still alive," Violet says. "I'll always wait for the day when he comes back, so I can tell him that I love him."

"You... love him?" There is a strange note to Kakashi's voice that she hasn't heard before.

She nods. "He was like a father to me. Or perhaps an older brother. He wanted his mother to adopt me after the war was over," her gaze is distant and faraway. "I have encountered many forms of love during my journey as an Auto Memoir Doll, and I believe what I have for the Major is the love for family."

"I see," Kakashi says, his voice returning to normal. "I hope that he returns safely as well."

"Thank you."

In turn, she learns about his past, of how he was sent onto the front lines with his team, of how he retreated into the black ops squad after he lost everyone precious to him, of how he arrived in this world – country, he told her – and became a hermit, living his life in solitude.

"How did you deal with it?"

"Deal with what?"

"The weight of all the lives you've taken."

Kakashi pauses. She is looking at him solemnly, and he knows that this isn't a question to be taken lightly. He thinks about it for a few seconds.

"I had to protect my comrades and my village," he finally answers. "No matter the cost. Besides... the pain of killing my own teammate is far greater than anything else ever will be."

"Do you regret killing?"

"I don't know," he answers truthfully. He hesitates. "Do you?"

"Yes," she answers instantly. "Everyone I've killed... they had promises and dreams of their own. They had loved ones waiting at home. And I'm the one who took everything away from them." She looks down at her metal hands. "I don't want to kill anyone ever again."

Kakashi nods. "I see."

He soon gets tired of keeping his secrets and reveals to her that he came from another world. She simply replies with "another world, another country... does it really make much of a difference?" and that's the end of it.

Though she still remains expressionless most of the time, Kakashi slowly learns to read her, the little mannerisms she has, the way her face tightens minutely into a scowl whenever she's displeased, how the corners of her lips will twitch slightly when she's amused.

However, despite everything, he is still unable to finish his final letter. He thought the worst of it was over when he finished his letter to Rin, but apparently not because this is somehow even more difficult. Even now, a full month after he wrote the letter to Rin, he still hasn't even started. No matter how hard he tries, he can't write the last letter. Violet doesn't press him about it, though, which he's thankful for.

They're currently outside taking a stroll through the forest – the weather is exceptionally nice today, the air crisp and cool – when Violet shifts a bit uncomfortably. "My boss wants to meet with you."

Kakashi blinks. "Your boss... Hodgins, right?"

She nods. "Can you join us for dinner in three days?"

Kakashi hesitates for a moment. "Sure," he agrees. "Just tell me when and where, and I'll be there."

"Alright. And... be prepared."

"Huh?"

She doesn't elaborate on her cryptic statement.

As they emerge in a field of wildflowers, Kakashi speaks up. "I'm sorry for still not being able to write the final letter." It's been on his mind for a while now, and he wants to vocalize the thought.

"It's fine," Violet says. "Take as much time as you need." She pauses. "Who are you writing this letter to?"

"Obito Uchiha," Kakashi responds. "He was my other teammate."

"He's dead as well?" she asks quietly.

He nods. "Yeah. Died a year before Rin. I owe him so much. It sounds odd, but I feel like writing a letter wouldn't be enough for him. I have to..." he gestures helplessly. "I don't know."

Violet regards him with pensive blue eyes. "You'll have to figure it out."

He doesn't respond.

:::

Kakashi is late, Violet notes. She knows she gave him the correct meeting location and time: seven o'clock at night at a rather fancy restaurant where everyone's already waiting for him. Since he's always so punctual, almost religiously so – she's fairly certain that he counts down the exact seconds whenever the two of them meet up – it's rather surprising that he's late.

"I can't believe it," Hodgins mutters darkly under his breath from where they're sitting at the table. "The audacity of this man..."

"He might have run into some trouble," Cattleya placates. "Don't be too hard on him."

Five minutes turns into ten minutes which turns into twenty. At the thirty minute mark, just as Violet is starting to grow a little worried, Kakashi finally strolls into the restaurant.

Immediately, she notices that his posture's changed. Whereas before he always maintained perfect posture as befitting of a soldier, now he's standing with a slight slouch with his hands in his pockets.

"You're late," Hodgins immediately growls.

"Yo," Kakashi greets with a two-fingered wave and an eye-smile. "Sorry I'm late. I'm afraid I got lost on the road of life."

Violet blinks.

Hodgins twitches. "You what?"

"You must be Hodgins," Kakashi says as he takes a seat across from Violet. "Violet's told me all about you – but where are my manners?" He inclines his head. "My name is Kakashi Hatake. It's a pleasure to meet you."

They all introduce themselves as well. A waiter comes by and delivers their food, and they're soon digging into the delicious meal.

Violet sees several of them sneak glances at Kakashi, who's holding his fork with a look of slight distaste. He reaches up to pull down his mask–

When there's a loud crash on the other side of the restaurant and they all glance over to see what happened–

And when they look back, Kakashi's plate is already empty and he's chewing contentedly.

"What in the world?!" Benedict shouts.

Kakashi swallows and blinks innocently. "Is there a problem?"

Benedict pauses. "No," he says reluctantly. "No there isn't."

"So how did you and Violet meet?" Hodgins asks in what Violet recognizes as his interrogation voice.

"I hired her for a job to write four letters for me," Kakashi answers.

Hodgins raises an eyebrow. "Really? Because I don't recall seeing any requests from a Kakashi Hatake."

"It was a verbal request."

"Is that so?" Hodgins raises an eyebrow.

He and Cattleya then take turns interrogating Kakashi. His responses are smooth and diplomatic, and by the end, Cattleya is nodding in approval and Hodgins looks marginally less murderous than before. The conversation then shifts to clients and work and the new radio tower that's going to be completed soon.

Once dinner is over and they're getting ready to leave, Violet sees Hodgins pull Kakashi away. Her eyebrows draw together but she doesn't follow. She trusts that Kakashi can take care of himself. He should be fine.

:::

Kakashi is not fine. Not in the absolute slightest.

He isn't sure what he was expecting when Hodgins pulled him to the side for a "friendly conversation," but it certainly isn't this.

"What are your intentions toward Violet?"

Kakashi blinks slowly. "... what?"

"Are you courting her?" Hodgins demands.

Kakashi stares at him. "We're friends..."

Hodgins narrows his eyes. "Truly?"

Kakashi nods.

Hodgins scrutinizes him for a few more moments before smiling. "I see. Sorry about that, I had to ask."

"I see," Kakashi then pauses. "What would you have done if I was courting her?" he asks out of curiosity.

"Nothing."

Kakashi blinks again, not expecting that answer. "What?"

Hodgins chuckles, turning to the side. "She's old enough to make and choose her own decisions," he says. "I trust that she can take care of herself. Besides, after everything we've done to help Violet cast aside her life as a tool, what kind of man would I be if I tried to take away her choice again?"

He smiles. "All I can do is support her no matter what happens and hope that the man she loves will love her back just as much."

Kakashi's eyes flicker. "I see."

:::

She is walking around the city with Cattleya to pick up some coffee for everyone when she catches sight of familiar spiky silver hair in the corner of her eye. Since their weekly meeting isn't for another few days, she's understandably a little confused, and she walks over to see what he's doing.

Kakashi is...

Violet blinks.

Kakashi is helping an old lady cross the street, holding her groceries bags with both his hands while carrying her on his back.

Violet can't help but stare at the strange sight.

"Violet, what's the matter – oh," Cattleya comes up to a stop beside her, also looking at Kakashi. "He's helping that old lady get home? That's nice of him."

There's a tinge of bemusement to her face as Violet smiles. "Yes, it is." But it is also entirely out of his character. First he shows up late to their dinner the other day, and now he's helping old ladies across the street, something which to her knowledge he's never done before.

It's definitely a little peculiar.

:::

When he hops in through her window the next week – she doesn't even bother keeping them closed anymore on the weekends when she knows he's coming – she is in the middle of typing up an essay. There is a whole stack of blank paper next to her, and he has to contort his body in midair to avoid knocking them over.

He eyes the stack. "Are you busy right now?"

"I'm sorry," she says apologetically. "I need to finish up on this work. This week has been especially hectic."

"It's fine," Kakashi says before hesitating for a moment. "Can I stay here anyway?"

Violet inclines her head. "Yes, although I'm afraid I need to focus on getting this done so I cannot converse much."

"Don't worry, I brought a book."

He swipes his finger across his pockets and a book pops into existence. She stares at it for a second. He told her about his power, chakra, a few weeks ago, but even now she's still a little startled whenever she sees him use it.

Then the title of the book registers with her and she blinks. "Kakashi..."

"Yes?" he says as he sits down at the foot of her bed.

"What are you reading?"

"A fine piece of literature," Kakashi answers. "I picked it up at the bookstore yesterday when I was browsing because the cover looked interesting. It turned out to be an excellent choice. I'm only halfway through, but I'm already fully emotionally invested in the plot. The characters are complex, the interactions are delightful, and the development of the main character is downright elegant."

Violet stares at him flatly. "Isn't that book an erotic romance novel banned to anyone under the age of eighteen?"

He coughs. "Perhaps."

"I see."

She stares at him for a little while longer before returning to typing up the essay. It isn't her business what he likes to read, and she won't judge him for his tastes.

After all, she's fairly certain that Cattleya owns the very same book.

:::

"You seem to derive enjoyment from the others not being able to see what's under your mask," Violet remarks to him one day. Kakashi has begun joining them on their group dinners more often. According to Hodgins, while he isn't part of the CH Postal Company, he is Violet's friend, and that's enough for them to invite him along.

He is late every single time. And every single time, he always delivers the most ridiculous excuse.

Sorry I'm late, a black cat crossed my path and I had to take the long way around.

Sorry I'm late, I got stuck inside my piano and couldn't get out.

Sorry I'm late, I was having a philosophical debate with my dogs. I won, by the way.

She isn't sure why he gives such blatantly obvious falsehoods, especially since she knows he's an expert at subterfuge, but he seems to be enjoying Hodgins and Benedict's reactions whenever he's late so she leaves it be. Thankfully, while he's late to the group dinners, he's still on time for their own personal meetings – he's early most of the time, actually – so she isn't too concerned.

That isn't the end of it either. At first, the others were all a little curious as to what lies underneath Kakashi's mask, but by now they're downright desperate to know. Every time, whenever he's close to revealing his face, something inevitably happens and they end up missing it.

When Violet sees his single visible eye curve slightly in amusement as Benedict once again howls his frustration, she realizes that yes, he's doing this on purpose and yes, he's enjoying messing with their minds.

Kakashi merely blinks innocently. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Violet shoots him an unimpressed look. Kakashi chuckles.

"Well, okay, I do. But in all fairness, their reactions are pretty hilarious."

Violet lets out a little sigh. "Cattleya and Benedict are devising a plan to get you to lower your guard and reveal your face," she informs him. "They seem determined."

Kakashi smiles. "I look forward to seeing them fail spectacularly."

They fall into a companionable silence. A stew is bubbling in the background, slowly filling the air with a delicious scent. Kakashi is already on the third book in the series, and Violet herself has begun reading a novel — of a different series, of course. It's a mystery novel, and a pretty good one at that. She isn't able to concentrate, however, and after a few minutes she sets the book down.

"May I see your face?" Violet suddenly asks in the same indifferent tone she would use to describe the weather.

Kakashi looks up as well. "Oh. Umm…"

:::

The question comes as a complete surprise. Violet has never shown any signs of curiosity or interest before in seeing his face. She respected his desire to keep his face hidden, and he was thankful for it.

But now that she's asked him point blank…

Kakashi shrugs. "Sure."

And he pulls down his mask.

It is on a complete whim, but even as he reveals his face, he doesn't regret it. He's told her secrets he swore he would take to the grave and he's cried on her shoulder. After baring so much of himself, what difference does it make if he shows her his face?

Violet draws in a deep breath, her cerulean eyes widening slightly. "Ah," she says eloquently, staring at his face with surprising intensity.

Kakashi waits a few seconds before pulling his mask back up and going back to reading his book. While the spoken language is the same, this world has a different writing system from his old one. It took him three days to learn how to read and write this world's language. A bit slow, but he was rusty.

The book is honestly excellent. He wanted to find a new way to pass the time, so he decided to pick up a random book from the bookstore. While he was shocked at its contents initially, he soon grew to... appreciate the fine literature. A pity Violet doesn't agree – though on second thought, perhaps it's best if she doesn't read this type of book.

He isn't sure if he can live with himself if he corrupts her like that.

"Why do you obscure your face with a mask?" she suddenly asks him.

Kakashi hums. "It's... hard to say, to be honest."

Part of the reason is that he has seals inscribed on the inside of the mask that filters out external poisons and pollutants, something that was very useful when he was younger and didn't have the necessary chakra mastery to perform the air filtration technique. Part of the reason is that it helps hide his emotions better. Part of the reason is that he looks very similar to his dad, and back when he was trying to distance himself from his legacy, he wore the mask persistently to hide his relation to him. Part of the reason is that he's been wearing it for so long, it's become a habit by this point.

"Is it because you are self-conscious about your appearance?" Violet asks, tilting her head curiously. "You shouldn't be. You are objectively extremely attractive, and – "

"It's not that," Kakashi says quickly, eyes widening slightly. "Don't worry, it's definitely not that."

"I see."

Although speaking of appearances... There is something he does need to change.

After a moment's hesitation, he pushes up his headband to uncover his left eye.

Violet glances up, and her brow furrows when she sees his black-and-red sharingan and the scar over it. "Your eye is a prosthetic?" she asks.

He shakes his head. "It's an implant. A special eye from my world. I think I'll keep it uncovered from now on." He still keeps his left eye shut, because the vision granted to him by the sharingan is completely different from the vision in his normal eye, and he always gets headaches from trying to combine the two different sources into one image, but he wants to keep it uncovered anyway so that if he ever wants to see the world with his sharingan, he can simply open his eye.

Violet doesn't question his decision or pry into how he lost his eye in the first place. She merely nods and returns to reading her book.

:::

The first indication that something is wrong is when Violet's window is closed and the room inside is empty. Typically, he would turn around and leave, but his instincts are practically screaming at him so instead he hops in through the window of Hogdins's office to try to find out where she is.

The second indication that something is wrong is when, upon turning around and seeing Kakashi coming in through the window, Hodgins immediately accosts him. "Do you know where Violet is?" The red-haired man snarls as he storms up to Kakashi. "Did you take her?"

Kakashi's eyebrows scrunch up. "What are you talking about?"

Hodgins must've seen that his confusion is genuine because he gives a tired frustrated sigh and backs off.

"Who is this?" A new person speaks up. Kakashi turns to see a man with long dark braided blue hair and green eyes. He is dressed immaculately in a suit, and Kakashi can tell from his body language that he's involved in the military.

"This is Kakashi," Hodgins replies. "One of her friends."

"She has friends?"

Hodgins clenches his hands into fists. "Dietfried, do kindly shut up."

Dietfried pauses, then sighs. "My apologies."

Kakashi is watching the two of them, feeling a little lost. "What happened?" he asks.

Hodgins's face is creased with frantic worry and concern. "Violet was kidnapped today – "

There is a sudden burst of wind as Kakashi blurs. A second later, he reappears next to Hodgins, his normal casual outfit gone and replaced with his ANBU attire. The pinwheel in his sharingan is spinning angrily, and he's already flexing his chakra in preparation.

"Who took her?" he asks, his voice low and deadly.

Hodgins and Dietfried stares at him. "What just...?"

"Who took her?" he repeats.

Hodgins shakes his head. "Umm... I think it's an extremist group of Gardarik. Violet's old enemies. They're here to take revenge on her. They must've kidnapped her this morning when she was taking a walk outside."

The blue parasol in her room was gone, Kakashi recalls.

"I see," Kakashi says. "Thank you for the information."

"Wait," Hodgins calls as he turns around. "What are you going to do?"

Kakashi eye-smiles. "I'm going to save her, of course."

"I already have my men scouring the city for her," Dietfried says. "What can you hope to accomplish?"

Kakashi tilts his head. "Men," he echoes quietly. "Not shinobi."

And he shunshins out of existence.

Tracking down Violet is child's play. Her kidnappers didn't even bother obscuring their tracks. Kakashi summons Pakkun and while he is initially surprised to see Kakashi in his ANBU uniform again, after a brief explanation Pakkun immediately begins hunting down their targets.

It's made more difficult since a little into the route, Violet and her kidnappers' scents become a lot more faint, probably due to them getting into a car, but Kakashi isn't considered the most skilled ANBU agent for nothing and he eventually tracks them down to a log cabin far outside the city boundaries, inside the surrounding mountains.

His eyes narrow as his chakra thrums underneath his skin.

These men dared to kidnap Violet, presumably to execute her.

Unforgivable.

:::

Things would be so much easier if she didn't make her vow to never kill again. If she didn't need to hold back, all her kidnappers would be getting identified in the morgue right now. Unfortunately, she has changed from her past and she refuses to bloody her hands ever again, so her attackers had the upper hand and was able to subdue and kidnap her.

Her abductors are well-trained. Ex-Gardarik elite operatives, most likely. She's probably fought their friends or perhaps even them personally on the battlefield before.

Since she was ambushed on a deserted road with no witnesses, she isn't sure if anyone can track her down. She can hope, but there is a decent chance that she won't be getting out of this alive.

"Heh," the leader of the men grins down at her. She's tied to a chair, secured with chains and ropes that don't have the slightest bit of give. "So this is the famous combat doll. At long last, I'll finally be able to avenge my brother."

She draws in a sharp breath. She killed this man's brother... A wave of regret and guilt floods through her.

"I'm sorry," she whispers.

The man tenses up. "What did you just say?"

She looks at him. "I'm sorry," she repeats.

Her face whips to the side as he strikes her, hard. "Shut up," he snarls. "Shut up, or I swear to god I'll kill you here myself."

She can taste blood. Her lip is bleeding.

It's strange. If this happened four years ago, she probably wouldn't have minded dying so much.

But now...

She wants to live. She wants to live, and live, and live, and so she looks down at the floor and shuts up.

Somehow, her compliance seems to anger the leader even more, because he raises his hand to strike her again.

She doesn't flinch, waiting for judgment to come.

And come judgment did, but not in the form she expects.

One moment, the leader is about to strike her again. The next moment, the leader is missing a hand.

It takes him a moment to realize, but once he does, he grabs his wrists and begins screaming.

Violet's eyes widen as suddenly, impossibly, Kakashi is standing right there in front of her.

"Yo!" He smiles at her cheerfully. "Sorry I'm late for our meeting. It won't happen again."

All the men immediately leap into action, raising their weapons and charging at him – Kakashi's hand twitches – Violet's eyes widens as she remembers Kakashi's background –

And in an instant, it's over. All the men are collapsed on the ground, and for a single terrifying moment, Violet is scared that he killed them all, that she's responsible for even more deaths.

Then they start coughing and groaning in pain, and relief surges through her, but some confusion as well.

"You didn't kill them," she says as he kneels down in front of her and cuts through her shackles with what appears to be an invisible blade of wind.

"I remembered you telling me how you wanted to never kill again," Kakashi replies evenly as he helps her up and begins massaging her wrists to get the blood back in circulation. "I figured you wouldn't want their deaths on your conscience, even if I was technically the one to deliver the blow, so I stuck to nonlethal attacks."

She blinks, feels her heart warm up slightly, before smiling. "Thank you."

:::

Fortunately, her wounds aren't too bad. It doesn't stop Kakashi from fussing over her worriedly, however. He starts showing up every day now, giving the excuse "I really like the view from the mansion" but she knows the truth is that he's worried that she's going to be kidnapped again so he's standing guard to protect her.

This is confirmed when she retreats to her room after a day of work and finds Pakkun having a staring contest with her dog stuffed animal on her desk.

"Pakkun," she greets.

Pakkun turns around and nods his head. "Violet."

She freezes. "You can talk?"

Pakkun pauses. "Oh. Kakashi didn't tell you yet?" He tilts his head in a manner that can only be described as adorable. "Yeah, I can talk."

Violet stares at him for another few seconds before accepting it. "What are you doing here?"

"Keeping watch on you because Kakashi needs to sleep," Pakkun replies, "No matter how much he pretends he doesn't need to."

"I see," she says. "I still need to finish some work..."

"Go ahead," Pakkun says.

After several minutes of her tapping at her typewriter, Pakkun speaks up.

"He was worried out of his mind for you, you know," he says. Violet stops typing to listen. "He swore to never put on his ANBU uniform ever again, but he did it for you."

She blinks. "Why?"

Pakkun stares at her. "Because he cares for you," he says bluntly. "He's happier whenever you're around. He smiles more and laughs more when he's with you."

The pug sighs and looks down at the table. "He has always been a little broken," he says sadly. "It's ironic, really. After our village was drastically weakened by an attack, Kakashi was the one who almost singlehandedly rebuilt the village's fearsome reputation as Hound despite being so broken himself. It is only now that he's finally healing, and it's all thanks to you."

He looks back up again, staring intently into her eye, and even though he's just a small dog, she can feel the weight behind his words. "I've known him since I was a pup. If you died, then I would almost undoubtedly lose him." He pauses. "I don't want that."

Violet inhales sharply.

"How about you?" Pakkun asks after a moment.

Violet pauses. She and Kakashi... They were both child soldiers, traumatized by war and left burning up on the inside. He understands her in a way that nobody else can, and she understands him in return. She's told him about her past, the things she's done, and he accepted her.

Moreover...

She genuinely enjoys the time they spend together. Playing music together, cooking together, exploring the forest together, reading together. It has reached the point where he doesn't even need to do anything anymore. Just being in his very presence makes her content.

It's in the little things he's done, like acquiring her a violin or teaching her how to cook or introducing her to reading novels. The way that he's never late to their meetings together, and how even now he's probably passed out because he's too exhausted after standing watch over her. He even remembered her words and didn't kill any of her kidnappers.

There is an emotion welling up within her chest when she thinks of him. It takes her a moment to identify what it is, and when she does, her eyes flicker slightly at the revelation.

"I don't want to lose him either," Violet finally responds. "He is... important to me."

"I see," Pakkun says.

There is a moment of silence. Then she begins typing again.

:::

The next week, Kakashi is oddly silent as he picks her up from her room and uses what he called the Body Flicker technique to transport them to his cottage. Violet doesn't think much of it at first, but then she notices his deeply contemplative expression, as if there's some great internal conflict warring within him, and she frowns in concern.

"Is everything alright?" she inquires.

Kakashi is silent for a long moment. A look of consternation passes over his face, only to disappear a few seconds later as he makes up his mind.

"He was always late," he begins, a faraway look in his eyes. "Obito Uchiha, my teammate, I mean. Every team meeting he would be late without fail, and he would always have the most ridiculous excuse for it. I used to get so annoyed at him."

Violet's eyes widen slightly as she realizes he's opening up. Hope blossoms in her chest. Perhaps today would be the day when he's finally able to finish his last letter.

"He would help old ladies cross the streets and get home safely," Kakashi continues. "He would help rescue cats from trees and lost kids find his parents, no matter how busy he was. He didn't have much. Both his parents were dead, and he lived with his grandmother. His clan thought he was a failure, and he would always be mocked and taunted. However, he always remained bright and cheerful throughout it all, never losing his smile."

He turns to Violet. "I'm sure you were wondering why I changed so much these past few weeks," he murmurs. "He is why."

"You're emulating Obito," Violet says.

Kakashi nods. "This entire time, I was unable to complete the final letter because it didn't feel as if writing a letter would be enough to convey my feelings about him." He looks her in the eye, and she sees how serious he is. "I owe him everything," he says. "I was blind back then, and he was the one who restored my sight."

He touches his left eye, tracing the scar over it. "With my actions, I wanted to show him how much he means to me," he whispers. "I wanted to keep his memory alive." He chuckles. "I'm sorry. I know it must sound silly, but..."

"No," Violet shakes her head. "I understand."

Kakashi pauses, then smiles. "I had a feeling you would." His face sets with determination. "Violet Evergarden," he says. "Would you do me the honor of writing my last and final letter to Obito Uchiha?"

Violet smiles. "With pleasure."

:::

Dear Obito,

Hey. Sorry I'm late in writing this letter. I got a little lost on the road of life, but someone was able to help me find the way.

To be honest, I always admired you, Obito. At times, it must've felt as if the entire world was against you. Your clan, your classmates, even me, your own teammate. However, you never gave up. You remained strong and continued believing in your ideals and dreams.

We argued constantly and we fought enough to drive Rin crazy, but we had our good moments as well. When you would share your food with me after an exhausting day of training because you believed combat rations weren't real food. When I would help train and tutor you until you were able to pass the Chuunin exams. When we would both hide from Kushina together because we made her mad. I miss those days.

I've started showing up late to everything. Well, mostly everything. It's strangely fun, seeing everyone's reactions. Though I guess you were late for real while I'm late on purpose... but let's not dwell on that. I've also started helping people I come across. Old ladies, little kids, the stray cat that gets stuck in a tree. It feels oddly nice, seeing the smile on their faces when you help them.

Thank you for giving me the words "Those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their comrades are even worse than trash." Ever since you uttered them, I lived by those words. My squad in ANBU was practically famous for its members never dying because I protected them all with my very life.

Thank you for telling me that my father was a hero. Thank you for getting through to my younger self and restoring my true ideals and beliefs. Thank you for convincing me to save Rin.

I don't think I would've ever forgiven myself if I had abandoned her that day.

And...

I'm sorry for breaking my promise to you. I'm sorry for not being able to protect Rin. I'm sorry.

I can only hope that you'll be able to forgive me.

Thank you for pushing me out of the way of the falling rocks. Thank you for sacrificing your life to save mine. Thank you for giving up on your dreams so I can live.

I've stopped covering my left eye with my headband. It drains my chakra significantly, but I wish to be able to open my left eye at any time. So that we can see the future together.

Thank you, Obito, for being my best friend.

Sincerely,

Kakashi Hatake

:::

They are silent for a moment when he finishes. He feels emotions of melancholy and sadness and longing swirling around within him, but also a feeling of fulfillment. Of finally, finally finishing the letter and saying what he feels.

"I hope my letters will reach them," Kakashi speaks up, his tone a little wistful.

"They will," Violet responds without any hesitation.

Kakashi blinks at her conviction before letting out several chuckles. "Perhaps... but they're already gone. All of them."

He expects her to look away or to concede the point.

He doesn't expect her to gaze upon him with a expression so filled with understanding and empathy that his heart clenches.

"The feelings you've poured into your letters... they will reach them," Violet says firmly. "I know it."

"How?"

She smiles. "It's because – "

「Loved ones will always watch over you」

And it isn't the words themselves that affects him but rather the absolute certainty with which she delivers them. He stares at her, unable to respond as a wave of foreign emotions wash over him, surging forth and crashing down in a great tidal wave that chokes his throat.

He's a seasoned war veteran and the captain of the elite ANBU squad. He's a master at suppressing his emotions and compartmentalizing his feelings. He practically breathes trauma, for heaven's sake.

Living in this new world must really have caused him to slip if he's reacting like this.

I see, is what Kakashi tries to say.

Instead, what comes out of his mouth is, "do you really think so?" and he's almost ashamed of how he sounds.

Violet nods. "Yes," she smiles. "I do."

They are silent for a long moment. Outside, a nearby stream gurgles lazily as the birds sing their song, the emerald leaves fluttering underneath the sunlight that streams in through the window.

"We should go outside," Kakashi suddenly says. "The weather is nice today."

Violet nods.

They walk through the forest in silence. Kakashi leads her to one of his favorite places in the entire forest. A meadow of wildflowers, red and yellow and white and purple. They stand there, gazing out at the view. There are birds flying in the distance, and clouds are lazily making their way across the sky.

"Thank you," Kakashi says quietly. "For everything you've done for me."

Violet nods. "I'm glad to have been able to help." And she means it. The empty, hollow look that was once in his eyes is completely gone now, replaced by a spirited light. He's less gaunt, and there's a healthy color to his skin. The flames burning him have at long last been extinguished.

Kakashi smiles. "All those months ago, I told you that I wanted to learn how to be a person. I think... I think that I finally managed it. And it wouldn't have happened without you." He turns to her. "I know I must sound like a broken record, but... thank you."

Violet smiles. "You're welcome."

They return to looking out at the flower meadow, a comfortable silence falling over them.

"This is it," Kakashi murmurs softly. "You've written the four letters for me. The contract is now complete."

"Yes," she says. "It is."

He forces his face to remain impassive. "Then I guess we no longer need to meet every week, since you don't need to help me finish writing the letters."

Because she has a life of her own and she has her other friends and coworkers and she's the most famous Doll in the country and she was recently selected to write the hymm to the sea. It's obvious that she wouldn't want to continue meeting with him anymore.

He ignores how his heart constricts painfully at the thought.

Violet looks at him, her expression unreadable. "Correct," she agrees. Kakashi's heart constricts further, but then freezes at her next words. "But I still want to meet." She pauses. "Every day, if possible."

Kakashi stares at her. "Why?"

It's because you're my friend, Violet wants to say, but she can't. Because it isn't exactly true anymore, is it? Originally, he was just a customer who she wanted to help. Then he became a friend. And now...

She knows what she must say, but it's difficult. The enormity of the words, the depth and weight and vulnerability of the emotion she feels. She is silent for a moment, composing her thoughts. Then she says, "I want to stay with you. I want to continue meeting with you and going onto walks together and playing duets together and baking and cooking together."

Kakashi freezes as she steps in close, so close he can smell the fragrance of her hair.

"But... why?" he asks.

His eyes widen as she captures his lips with her own in response.

A heartbeat passes. Two. Then she draws back. "That's why," she says softly, a slight flush to her cheeks. Then she pauses, a slight vulnerability entering her eyes. "Do... do you not feel the same about me?"

Kakashi doesn't even need to think when he answers. "I do," he says, because he cares for her and just being around her makes him happier and she's the single most important person in his life. "It's just... Why me?"

Violet smiles at him. "It's because – "

「I love you」

.

.

.

---

Four years ago, a certain Doll learned what the words "I love you" mean. And now, four years later, she's finally able to say them to someone else.

Ahhhh this was such a journey to write. I experimented with a completely new writing style in this fic, and I think I like how it turned out. Writing both Violet and Kakashi was so hard - their characterizations are so difficult to pull off lol. I hope I did alright.

Some extra notes:

This ends right before the final movie, so Violet does eventually meet up with Gilbert. Kakashi may or may not breaks down Gilbert's door when he refuses to see her lmao

I have the personal headcanon that Kakashi would be absolutely brilliant at the piano.

Similarly, I think that while Kakashi does feel guilty over killing Rin, he would also be angry at her for forcing him into that situation, thus causing him to feel even more guilt for feeling angry

So apparently the canon timeline is terrible, so I'm just going with the classic "genin at 5, chuunin at 6, jounin at 12, ANBU at 14" timeline lol

I rewatched the anime while writing this and I swear that slowed my progress by so much because I kept on stopping to dry my tears

Most of this was written from 12am to 3am so umm sorry for any mistakes lmao

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this, and thanks for reading!