Notes: I renamed the story, because I felt the first title sucked.

This story takes place sometime within the episode "When it rains..." Some sentences were ripped directly from this episode. This story is intended as an insertion and not intended to change or alter any events throughout DS9's entire run.

Disclaimer: I don't own Star trek. I just miss a good show. I'm not making money off this.

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Honor of Angels

. - . - .

It was late.

And so Kira Nerys stood alone in the dark quiet of a makeshift supply room, having taken it upon herself to evaluate just how much supplies the rebels had, and what equipment should be targeted in raids. It gave her the opportunity to pause and breathe, and to digest the events of the day.

She didn't want company anyway.

And aside from too-few guards keeping a silent vigil over cave entrances, all the Cardassian rebels had gone to sleep, and their soft snoring could be heard through the complex caverns, if one were still enough to listen. Even Odo was trying as best he could to rest despite his illness, and she didn't dare to disturb him.

Earlier in the day, she had finally come face-to-face with Damar.

"Welcome to the Cardassian Liberation Front. It's been a long time." He had said.

The polite reception had a chilling effect on her. Pretty words. That was all she heard. That's all you have to say to me? Do you have any idea how much that girl meant to me?

"Yes, it has." She replied simply. If the disingenuity didn't kill her self-respect, her censorship certainly would. She felt a little shard of pride splinter off and disintegrate with the things left unsaid.

"Did you bring the supplies we requested?" Rusot asked, seemingly oblivious to the barely-veiled hostility between his leader and new allies.

"Food replicators, weapons. I think you'll find everything you've asked for." Odo had answered in his usual, straight-forward manner.

"Excellent. The Cardassian people won't forget the Federation's generosity." More pretty words.

"How nice," Garak chimed in from behind her. "And now that the formalities are over with, let's try to remember that the enemy is the Dominion and not each other."

Back off, Garak. She bit the inside of her cheek. Of course he would try to smooth troubled waters now that his planet and people were the ones at risk.

But this mission would help Bajor, too. She tried to calm herself. She knew how important the mission was to let her feelings override better judgement.

She had a job to do; the Emissary was relying on her. Bajor needed Cardassia if it were to stand a chance against the Dominion, and if allying herself with Damar was needed to accomplish that, then so be it. Even so, it still felt wrong to not say something to honor the girl she regarded as a sister. So she remained quiet, and operated less like a Bajoran militia member and more like a well-behaved little Starfleet Officer.

"Thirty rifle batteries... uncharged." She sighed, grabbed a crate, and relocated it to the nearest electrical source for charging. "What are they doing here next to the dead batteries anyway?" She dropped another crate full of dead batteries into another pile. "Please tell me they have a desulfator. Just one. That's all I'm asking for."

As time went by in the supply room, her thoughts drifted back to Ziyal. Or, more specifically, the unfairness of it all.

What she thought she had at most dealt with or at least buried, resurfaced with a vengeance, reminding her of things lost, things unsaid, and crimes gone unpunished. Her friend had been reduced to ashes in a hasty cremation following the reclaiming of the station. There was no time for a memorial. No speech to honor her memory. Not even a communal prayer at the shrine.

Her killer deserved to be six feet under, and yet he was here, sipping kanar and conversing over a serving of Federation rations - that she helped deliver, no less - exchanging pleasantries with Garak. The man Ziyal loved was sharing drinks and laughter with her murderer.

Damar had a tendency to laugh loudly when he was drunk. At first he had declined the drink, but Garak insisted on a toast to new allies, and Damar had obliged. A few toasts later, Damar's laugh was echoing off the walls, with Garak regaling him with stories that Kira couldn't even begin to find amusing. It all made her sick to her stomach, and she couldn't bring herself to dine with them.

They had only retired to their bunks a few hours ago; Garak slept in the makeshift barracks with the other Cardassians, and Damar - leader that he was - had a little cavern all to himself with a door having been hastily installed for his privacy.

He deserved to decay! Not celebrate and sleep peacefully!

"Stop it and focus." She muttered to herself. This supply room wasn't going to organize itself.

She bent forward, hoisted up a crate, and heard a clanking noise at her feet. She looked down. Her phaser had fallen from her hip onto the floor. She stared at it, knowing full well its power to solve problems, and found it pleasing.

Did the Cardassian Liberation Front even need Damar? Plenty of Cardassian men were too far into the resistance to back out; someone would replace him out of necessity. Cardassians were so cutthroat naturally that it would probably happen even without her involvement.

She set down the crate and scooped up the phaser, feeling the smooth alloy in her hands.

Cardassians often demanded blood for blood when a crime had been committed against their own. Even the prophets understood it, and there were times when such acts were justified on Bajor. Killing an innocent girl fit the criteria on both worlds. Both worlds! These Cardassians would understand the motive behind Damar's death. It didn't have to end in a scandal or a breakdown of the new alliance. Damar killed a girl, and thus was killed in kind.

So why hadn't anyone sought to avenge her yet? Arrange a memorial? Mourn, even? No one seemed to have shed a tear. No one had the time. That girl deserved more than what she received, even from her. Kira felt the sting of shame, long and sharp, penetrate her heart.

Ziyal, will you forgive me for not mourning you?

Stun, Injure, Kill. She depressed the settings on the side of the phaser. Garak might be able to disregard what Damar did, but she would not. Somehow, she knew Sisko would understand, and though he may be disappointed, he would forgive her eventually.

After all, she was denying herself more and more the actions her younger self would have demanded. Even a Vedek had accused her of tolerating evil! Was that not true? Had she not grown morally soft with creature comforts? She was done with tolerating evil.

With a phaser set to kill in her hand, she made her way to where she knew Damar slept soundly, confident that no one would be awake to stop her. And sure enough, no one was.

Prophets, if you don't want me to do this, give me a reason now, because I can't stop myself.

His door was closed but not locked, and she could hear him snoring inside. She depressed the button to the left of the door, and it slid open quietly. She could make out his form, wrapped in a blanket, on a rock formation that functioned as his makeshift bed. He would prove to be an easy kill in his drunken stupor.

She aimed her phaser. Might as well have been gift-wrapped. I'll have to remind myself to thank Garak for the unintentional gift.

Before she could depress the trigger, a grey, scaled arm reached out from behind and forced her arm down, spun her around with force, and pressed her against his chest by wrapping his arms around her in a nearly crushing embrace. He dragged her, struggling, away from Damar's door and into a darkened common room.

"Wait, Garak!" She protested as her phaser fell to her feet. "This may be our only chance to avenge her!" She pleaded and tried to break free. She didn't know why she bothered to attempt an appeal; it was evident by now his loyalty to State overrode his loyalty to anything - or anyone - else. Just like a typical Cardassian.

Forget the phaser! I'll strangle Damar with my bare hands if I have to! She tried to wrench herself free without success: The soulless wretch had a vice-grip around her.

He held her firm and remained silent. She tried to knee him, but his leg moved just in time for his thigh to absorb the impact. Of course he would have been trained to fight in the Obsidian Order - even if she hadn't been caught off-guard, there was a strong chance that she wouldn't have been able to beat him in a melee.

"She was my friend! She was your friend! She loved you! Don't you care?!" Her voice caught in her throat. Did you ever care! Did Anyone!? Her mind screamed. After a few minutes of angry curses and struggling, her muscles had grown fatigued from resisting.

"Say something, damn it!" She stuttered and bashed a tired, balled fist against his chest. Most of his waking hours he never shut up, and now he wouldn't speak? Her mind had begun to slow in response to her exhaustion.

She noticed the ridge of his scaled jaw, which was pressed against her forehead, was slick with warm saline. His body was trembling. Then she spotted the phaser strapped to his hip, set to kill just as hers had been.

Alone. At night. Outside Damar's room. What were the chances of that?

He's not holding me back; he's holding on.

She nearly choked on the realization. Her attempt to break free halted, and she felt a hot tear streak down her own cheek and pool under her jaw. She grabbed the thick fabric of his tailored coat, grit her teeth from the pain she had kept locked away for so long, like some box she forbade herself to open, and let the grief tumble out, exposed for the universe to see. Her cries resonated in her ears, and he responded in kind, their voices mixing to form some tortured song between them.

She had needed something to stop her. And he had needed something to stop him. The prophets answered her prayer and provided each other.

They held on to each other in the dark, tears soaking into their clothing, the image of that sweet, beautiful girl heavy on their minds.

Oh, Ziyal. I am so, so, sorry I wasn't there to protect you.

Time passed between them in that state for who knew how long. Eventually the desperate shiver calmed into a mere sorrowful hug. Her once tight grip on his coat loosened, and she released it. Her body started to relax, and Kira began to feel guilty. It should have been Odo's chest she cried on. But "life loves to throw curveballs!" as Sisko liked to say with glee, and here she was holding, and holding on to, someone she used to regard as an enemy.

She pushed herself away from him, he let her go and knuckled away the tears from his eyes.

"I-" She began and wiped her own tears away. "-I'm sorry. Seeing Damar's face... I wasn't as prepared as I thought I was - I-I never really let myself grieve for her." She had the support of friends that she could have leaned on, but she chose to dive headfirst into her work to try to escape her grief instead. "I wasn't ready to accept she was gone."

"Nor was I." He said somberly. She supposed unlike herself, he had no one to turn to. "I hadn't intended on killing Damar when I accepted this mission, but as the opportunity presented itself...I found I couldn't resist." That could have been a lie, but his body language and expression indicated otherwise.

"That's why you pushed the kanar on him." She reasoned. "You wanted to dull his senses to make it easier to sneak up on him."

"I did." He admitted with conviction, then focused his gaze on the abandoned phaser at their feet. "I see you had a..." He paused to find the right words. "...similar ambition."

"Garak, we almost did something very stupid."

He paused, thinking about what to say next. He took in a breath. "I admit that as much as I love Cardassia, I was willing to throw it all away if it meant I could restore her honor."

"I was just caught up in the moment. I-" She blinked rapidly. "-In that moment, I thought it was worth it." She sniffed, then shook her head. "But it isn't. We have to go through with this mission, despite how we feel. If we don't, the ramifications... She wouldn't want that. We have to do this." She looked up at him and saw how tired he was. As tired as she felt. "Bajor and Cardassia. United. It's what she would have wanted."

"She used to say she felt she had one foot on both worlds." He said softly. "There will be more opportunities with Damar. It won't be easy. I want you to know that I will not allow my feelings to override my reasoning again. You... have my word."

"And you have mine. We just have to remember who we're doing this for, now."

"For Ziyal." He confirmed.

Uncomfortable with the growing intimacy, she cleared her throat. "I'm going to check on Odo. Good night, Garak."

"Good night, Commander." His customary bow of the head was present, but his usual mischievous grin was absent.

They parted ways, and Kira wove between stacks of crates and blinking monitors to where she had last seen Odo. She wiped the tears from her eyes again, and saw he wasn't there.

"Odo?" She called quietly for him.

"I'm here." He said sadly from behind her. He was resting his elbows on a crate of Starfleet weapons, his chin supported in the webbing between thumb and forefinger. She cast her eyes down guiltily. Just how much did he see?

As if reading her mind, he answered.

"I saw it all. That was a very close call, Nerys."

"Odo, I-"

"-I was beginning to wonder if you would ever let yourself cry for her. I'm just sorry it was Garak who comforted you and not me."

"I'm sorry..."

He rounded the crates and approached her.

"No. Please don't apologize." He shook his head slowly. "It wasn't just you intending to kill Damar." He explained.

"You both knew and loved her, far more than I ever did, and you needed that commonality to come to the mutual agreement not to kill him. If I had stopped either of you before you were ready, the other would have accomplished the task of killing him, if not now then later, and that would have uprooted any chance the Alpha Quadrant had in defeating the Dominion. Damar is essential to the cause. Without him, the Liberation Front can't survive."

She swallowed.

"So you see? It was better this way." Odo rubbed a tender thumb over her chin. "You've always been so strong for others. It's one of the many traits I love about you. But I would like to say, please. Don't ever shield your feelings? Not from me."

She sniffed and nodded, then attempted a pathetic-looking sad smile.

"I may not have known her well, but what you said was right. A united Bajor and Cardassia is what Ziyal would have wanted. Let our success here be made in her honor."

Another tear fell freely. He wiped it away and planted a gentle kiss on her lips, wrapped his arms around her, and instead of struggling and beating her fists against an immovable chest, she nestled her head underneath his chin and sighed into his loving embrace.

"We're going to do this for her, Odo." She said with conviction. "And we're going to win."

. - . - .