Chapter 27: Las Vegas Getaway

"Hey, Mer," Izzie threw casually entering the kitchen.

"Izzie." Even though she didn't turn around to look at her friend, Meredith could feel the force of her regard on the back of her head. She chose to ignore it as she knew Izzie was about to initiate a possibly awkward conversation. Izzie's surreptitious glances were telling her so. If only the coffeemaker would hurry up.

"So, how ya doing?" Izzie asked off-hand.

"Good," Meredith replied dryly. "You?"

"Great, thanks," she smiled. "And Derek?"

"Why don't you ask him?" shrugged off Meredith. "Aren't we all working together any longer?"

"Oh, I asked him. He said he was good."

"There you go," Meredith gave her a little smile and watched with impatience the coffee trickling into her cup.

"Except he's not good," insisted Izzie. "Not even close."

"Derek is fine, why wouldn't he be?" Meredith snorted, trying to quiet a little guilty voice in her head. "And why do you even care?"

"He is my friend, Meredith! That's why I care. He's not been himself for the last couple of days, you can't deny that." Izzie folded her arms over her chest. "He used to be all smiles but for the last couple of days, he's just been- sad. He's resigned, he doesn't joke as often. He looks- depressed."

"And you think you have to take it up with me because?" Meredith snapped at her involuntarily. She knew well enough she was the cause for his sullen mood, the unfavorable change in him, and she didn't like it. She felt as if she was ruining him. But she was helpless in the face of it. She couldn't help him- and they had an agreement.

"God, Meredith, you're his- fine, not girlfriend, you're his friend. The best he has in here. Aren't you going to do something? What happened to him?"

"I- I can't do anything for him, Iz," Meredith shook her head tiredly. "I can't give him what he wants from me."

"What does he-" Izzie trailed off, her eyes wide. "He- Oh! He wants a relationship with you!"

"Yes- sorta- I think-" Meredith said confusedly.

"That's- that's great, Mer!"

"No, no, it isn't," Meredith let out a bitter laugh.

"And why not?" inquired Izzie. "He's a good guy, Meredith, the best there is!"

"It's not- I'm not in for a relationship, I never was. I could never reciprocate his feelings."

"Are you sure, Mer?" Izzie asked gently. "You were trying to get somewhere with Jackson for ages with no result. And when Derek showed up- it just clicked!"

"That's- that's chemistry, sexual pull, attraction. That's all."

"Are you sure it's not just your inhibitions? You can miss something great here-"

"I'm sure, Iz," she insisted.

"Hey."

Meredith almost jumped when Derek entered the kitchen. She hoped he didn't hear a word of the conversation. He could feel even worse catching her discussing their non-relationship with a third party when she was reluctant to do so with him.

"Hey, Derek," Izzie greeted him perkily. "Are you going to Vegas with Mer to sign the contract with that new supplier?"

"I- no," he replied, opening the fridge for a bottle of cold mineral water. "Someone needs to stay at the practice."

Izzie made wide eyes at Meredith while he was still turned back and lifted the corners of her lips with her fingers.

Meredith bit her lip. She knew what the blonde meant. Maybe she should take him for a road trip after all. He looked like he needed some fun, space from everything they were going through.

"I- er- you can come with me?" she offered. "If you want?"

Derek looked at her, puzzlement etched on his face. "What?"

"It's a slow day," shrugged Izzie innocently. "I'll be here, I can take care of any emergencies, push any patients until tomorrow-"

"Yeah," nodded Meredith. "The sky won't fall down without the two of us for one day-"

"Okay, if you say so," he agreed, one of his eyebrows quirked curiously. Where was she coming from with the sudden offer? They knew for over a week prior that she was going to Vegas for business and she never as much as hinted that she wanted him to come. Well, it was not like he was going to turn her down when she took the initiative.

"Cool, we'll be leaving in about an hour."

Derek followed Meredith outside into a sunbathed street of Las Vegas. They just signed the deal they came here for, and Derek was quite impressed with her business streak he obviously didn't possess. She sported a strict no-nonsense air, took no notice of their prospective partner's sleek manners and wide smiles, and spent a good hour studying the contract. He felt a bit naive; he'd have probably signed the contract right away. Meredith was careful, just the right person to run the practice. Or maybe she just didn't trust people-

"So, is that all? Are we going back?" he asked her.

"I- Actually, I thought we could do with a break," she proposed off-hand.

"You wanna catch a dinner here?"

"I thought we could spend the rest of the day in the city," she said putting on her sunglasses. "It's been kind of awkward between us- you know that. Today could be- fun."

"Fun?" he asked thoughtfully leaning back against the car with his arms folded. "Define fun?"

"Have you ever been to Vegas before?"

"Once, for a medical conference. We spent the one free day at the casino though- Oh, and an hour last month when I rented a car off the airport."

"Well, then, I could show you around," she shrugged. "There's a lot to see. We can just- relax, you know? Forget about everything. Do some what-happens-in-Vegas-stays-in-Vegas stuff," she smiled at him.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he smirked. "But I'm all for it."

Meredith's smile widened, Derek seemed to be relaxing and that was good. "Okay, we can have a sleepover here, I know a good place."

"I'm giving myself into your hands," he chuckled and searched for his own shades in the same compartment on the door where he had put his watch on the night Meredith picked him from the road. That seemed to be ages ago- How much had changed in the meantime.

Derek was quite unaware of the torment his casual reply incited in Meredith. She didn't want him to give himself to her, she didn't want to have that much influence over him. She didn't want to be responsible for him being hurt. Izzie didn't have to convince her that Derek was a good man, she got to know him enough since his arrival.

"You okay?" he asked brining her out of her thoughts.

"Sure," she nodded quickly. "We're going to leave the car here and walk up to Russell Road, it's not far. That's the beginning of the Las Vegas Strip. You know, all the fancy hotels and casinos," she rattled off. Derek took her hand in his as they commenced their walk and she didn't protest

"Here we are, that's Mandala Bay," she pointed at the monumental building, "a resort and casino."

"That's the sign," he grinned as they came closer to the iconic Las Vegas sign.

"Yup."

"I wanna picture," he said retrieving his phone from the pocket of his trousers.

"Seriously?" she chuckled. "How touristy is that?"

"Very, but I'm a tourist here," he smiled though she distinctly heard a subdued note in his voice she didn't exactly like. He was always so chatty and sexy, and perky to an almost Izzie-level. It pained her to see sadness in him, and it pained her to admit that she cared. She was taking too much risk already.

"Go and stand beneath it, I'll take it," she reached her hand for the phone with a roll of her eyes.

"Nuh-uh," he snickered. "I wanna picture with you."

"But I don't want a picture!" she gasped. "And it's like physically impossible."

"Oh, it's not," he smiled with a shrug. "Excuse me, Sir!"

Meredith watched with horror as he asked a random man on the street to take a shot of them.

"Are you crazy? You're giving your phone to some guy you don't know? You know it's like against safety rule number one?"

"You should take a chill pill," he grinned and pressed Meredith to his side for the picture. "Not everyone out there waits for the occasion to screw other people over. And, you said yourself, sometimes you should take things on faith. Say cheese," he grinned a full smile.

"Derek!" she gasped but he momentarily released her from his embrace and went for his phone.

"Isn't that great?" he asked seconds later flashing the screen before her eyes.

She scowled at the image. Obviously, camera liked Derek and his dreamy smile. Her face, on the other hand, was frozen in an expression of frustration and impatience, her lips rounded as she spoke.

"It's horrible! Delete it!" she tried to snatch it from his hands but in vain.

"Come on, you look cute!" he kissed her cheek and grabbed her hand to resume their walk. "Your essence in one picture - beauty and beast."

"And little Derek is gonna spend tonight in the company of your hand," she narrowed her eyes at him vengefully.

"Hm, no, I'm not," he shook his head self-assuredly. "You would seriously suck as a Las Vegas tour guide if you denied me sex- in the Sin City," he added in a husky tone as his eyes moved down her cleavage.

She willed the corners of her mouth to stay down. How could he be so irritating and charming at the same time? She pulled roughly at his arm dragging him behind her as she quickened her pace.

"Hey! Not the surgeon hand!"

"This is Luxor," she nodded at a gigantic glass pyramid.

"It does look spectacular," he whistled perking up his head.

"The real ones are more spectacular," stated Meredith without thinking.

"The real ones?" Derek's eyebrows shot up. "The real ones like in Egypt? You've been there?"

She hesitated. It was a simple question he asked. And yet she was so reluctant to answer as it pertained much to her past life and her downfall. She was keeping so many secrets from him, secrets that recently started to press on her chest. She hadn't promised anything to Derek, but she felt guilty anyway. He held nothing back before her, and she did practically everything. But telling Derek- it was scary. True, she had plucked up her courage to confess the truth to Cristina and Miranda but Derek- it was a completely different story. Her friends weren't surgeons. Derek was, he would understand perfectly what she went through, the humiliation, hurt ego. Telling him whom she had been and why she no longer was would mean exposing herself, more than any time she shed her clothes for him. It would make her vulnerable.

But- how could she bring herself to dismiss him once again? To tell him he had no right to rake up her past- She didn't want to keep hurting him. She didn't love him, but she cared for him.

She cleared her throat and said softly, "Actually I was. I used to travel a lot- when I was working for a pharmaceutical company-"

"Really?" he didn't manage to cover his surprise. She smiled against herself. She loved his selflessness; she knew he wanted to know more about her but he put her interests before his. That was what a person who loved you would do. Derek claimed he did. But did he-? How could anyone be sure of their feelings? How could anyone be sure of the feelings others professed for them? She had already heard those words and they were all lies- Derek was not capable of lying like this though-

"Yes," she confirmed hastily. "Have you been abroad?"

"Only once, to London. Medical conference again."

"Well, I've been to all continents," she braved herself to say a bit more. "Except Antarctica of course. Now, see the castle over there? That's the Excalibur," she quickly diverted his attention.

"Wow, it's just- incredible- how much money people can put into something like this," he shook his head with half-admiration, half-disapproval.

"And here's-" she beamed at him, "something for you. New York-New York."

"Oh, God-" he breathed out, his eyes glimmering. "The Empire State Building, The Statue of Liberty- Feels, feels so weird-"

"You miss it much- home?" she asked quietly, her fingers running over his absent-mindedly. New York New York- that was his home, where he'd be back in a matter of weeks. He'd be gone- Why was that thought so disconcerting all of a sudden? She cared for him, true. He was her friend. But she could deal with being separated from her friends. She left Helen behind in New York. Well, she had never had passionate sex with her though.

"Yes and no-" he sighed. "You know- I had never left New York for that long before- I miss the city. Above all I miss my family. I think I didn't realize how much until I saw those fakes over there," he chuckled. "But it feels like home in Nevada too," he murmured leaning to prop his forehead against hers. "With you- Feels better than anywhere."

She peered into his eyes, and it was like an electric current running between them. She dropped her gaze down, unable to hold his powerful regard, her cheeks covering in hot blush.

"Let's go," she whispered gently, and they strolled along the boulevard, hand in hand.

"Did you gamble much last time you were here?" Meredith asked as they made their way out of the restaurant, they had dinner. They had made quite a walk and the hour they spent over the meal was a much-needed refreshment.

"Yeah, we didn't leave casino the with Mark until it was two hours till our flight home I think," he chuckled at the memories. "I remember I scooped quite a sum but then lost spectacularly."

"That's how it works," nodded Meredith with amusement. "It's designed so as the big money doesn't leave these walls."

"Do you ever gamble?"

"Nope, I'm not in Vegas all that often. I did gamble the first day here, with my sister. I don't remember much of it though; I was drunk most of the time."

"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, huh?" he laughed.

"Kind of," she shrugged.

"But- in fact, you stayed-" he trailed off. "Maybe not exactly in Vegas but well, the area-"

"I stayed because... well, I happened here," she shrugged. "I was reborn here."

"I sort of came to think about Rachel that way too," he admitted as they strolled down the wide side walk unhurriedly, their way now illuminated by hundreds and hundreds of lights of all shapes and sizes, coming from stores, hotels and casinos.

"I'm not exactly the man I was when I came here."

"That's a good or a bad thing?" she cocked her head peering at him.

"Good," he smiled broadly. "Very good."

The light from a nearby fountain caught up in his eyes and Meredith felt her breath imprisoned in her lungs. It was one of those moments, inexplicable, breathtaking, almost mystical. Something between a déja vu and a premonition. A moment when you feel so happy your throat is burning and tears begin to sting in the corners of your eyes. A moment when you feel scared that the precious exhilaration is going to end only too soon, that it would never happen again.

She tightened her grasp on his hand, like she didn't want him to get lost. Or rather to get lost herself. She didn't want to let go of him, period. She ignored the uncomfortable and downright odd tightness in her throat and asked him, "You want to go in for a bit? To a casino?"

"Why not?" he chuckled. "Maybe you'll bring me luck. Where to, though?"

"You like Ocean's Eleven?" she grinned at him knowingly.

"Yeah!" he now sounded as excited as a little kid about to open his Christmas presents. "Don't tell me-?"

"Bellagio," she nodded and led him down Flamingo Road back to the main boulevard. She glanced at her watch and counted the seconds. "Look."

Although they were still at a distance from the tall building of the casino, they could clearly see the water from the fountains shooting more than four hundred feet into the air, choreographed with lights and music.

"Oh, this is good," Derek muttered and pulled his phone immediately to record it, making Meredith break into giggles.

"It is beautiful," she sighed, standing beside him and waiting for the waterworks show to conclude.

"I've seen more beautiful things," he scrunched his face and then looked at her suggestively.

"Can't imagine, what?" she rolled her eyes.

"You naked," he answered quickly. "Especially in the throes-"

"That was a rhetorical question!" she laughed at him.

"Are we going to stay here for the night?"

"Are you kidding? It's a five diamond hotel. Leaving the astronomical price aside, it's snobbish and whatnot. I called a friend at a motel just out of Vegas, she's gonna keep a room for us. We'll avoid morning traffic in the center."

"Hmm, cheap motel by the highway. I like it," he wiggled his eyebrows and sent her a hot glazed look.

"I bet you do," she laughed and went forwards on the path. She turned to him walking backwards a couple of steps and reached out a hand for him. "You coming?"

"Definitely," he nodded happily flipping his phone shut and joining her at a run.

"Wow," came out of Derek's mouth once again that day. The wow was certainly justified. The moment they walked in, they were practically squashed by the sheer opulence of the place. Luxurious elegant design, crystals, marble, beautiful hostesses- Speaking of hostesses, one of them appeared immediately at Derek's side.

"Welcome to the unparalleled casino of Bellagio's, sir," she greeted him with a toothy smile, blatantly ignoring Meredith's presence at his side.

Meredith wasn't surprised. She was aware they were probably the most mismatched pair in the casino. Even after a day outside, Derek looked sexy and elegant in his usual designer slacks, shirt and tie, not to mention the shoes. He had the unassuming charm about him and well, he was plainly hot. All that combined, he could easily be mistaken for some rich actor or a model. Whereas she was wearing one of her simple denim dresses and flat ballerina pumps. Her eyes swept over women dressed in designer gowns, their hair styled to perfection, jewelry cascading down their bodies. She had been one of them over three years ago. At present, she regretted she wasn't one of them right now, something which hadn't happened to her since she left New York.

"Oh, hi," Derek stammered. Meredith quirked an eyebrow in confusion. Derek seemed almost- uncomfortable, which was more than strange as he must have been accustomed to women fainting at his sight.

"We are going to do our best to assure you spend an unforgettable time with us. Would you wish to visit our Poker Room? Bobby Baldwin's room-"

"No, thank you," he shook his head quickly his arm going around Meredith's waist to steer her away from the hostess. "We'll stick to the slots."

Meredith smirked vengefully at the disconcerted and puzzled face of the woman in Bellagio uniform. She sure didn't expect such a blatant lack of interest.

"You sure you don't want to check out that Poker Room? Not to brag or anything but I was a poker queen in med school."

"Really?" he smiled at her incredulously.

"Yeah, I especially enjoyed-" she made a dramatic pause, "strip poker-"

His Adam's apple bobbed up and down, "Well, we'll have to try it out later- in our private poker room."

"You're on," she snickered. "You're as good as- naked!"

"I think I'm fine with that," he nodded sitting down in front of a one-armed bandit.

"Derek, I was serious, you know," she said taking a place before the machine next to him. "You can go to play poker or something. I can wait here for you-"

"What the hell for?" he frowned inserting some bills into the slot.

"Look, I'm not exactly in an elegant attire-"

"Mer," he turned to her and looked her in the eye. "I'm not here to gamble, I just want to have a nice time. With you," he stressed. "You don't think I'm embarrassed of you or something equally ridiculous, do you?"

He snorted impatiently when she shrugged her shoulders. "God, Meredith! You're the most gorgeous woman in here. You'll still be if you were wearing a potato sack."

"That would show off my legs nicely," she joked but she was really grateful inside. She also felt a little silly for stooping so low as to compare herself with any of those women. What was she thinking? Apparently, she wasn't.

She watched Derek as he played on the slot machine with changing luck. He was the reason for all her irrational behavior. She didn't give a shit about looking pretty or not for the last years, but she did tonight. For him.

She shook herself off and directed her attention onto the slot before her. Derek didn't want her to change, so why would she care? Derek wanted her as she was. A shell of her former self- She tried to disperse the thoughts racing in her brain as the machine swallowed one of her bills.

No more than half an hour later she heard Derek's sigh, "It's getting boring. I say we should call it a night."

"Hit the jackpot already?"

"Enough for a bottle of wine we could drink tonight-" he proposed suggestively. "Frankly, I can't wait to get to that motel room already."

"Let's go then," she smiled, and their hands intertwined immediately as they went to exchange chips for cash.

"We'll take a different route this time," she led him steadily away from the Strip. "We'll get faster to the car, and we can grab that wine for a reasonable price."

"So, you've had a good day?" she asked uncertainly as they made their way back.

"Yeah," he smiled warmly, suddenly dropped her hand to place his arm around her shoulders. "Thank you, it was a great day."

She didn't even have the urge to fight the arm that was pressing her against him so snuggly. Normally, she was never that clingy, but it felt so good- to be enveloped in his warmth, his manly scent. And some weird sense of pride prickled under her skin that this man chose her-

Suddenly, Derek halted in his tracks, almost making her stumble.

"What?"

"Uhm, nothing-"

Quirking her eyebrow, she turned back to follow his gaze. Her eyes stopped at a large pinkish and red store with a huge banner above the door that said "Adam and Eve's. Erotic Emporium."