The truth 4
Saturday morning - a week later, Gibbs dropped letter number two off on Tim's bed. Sam had let him in, telling him that Tim had gone into the office after being called in at midnight. He debated taking the letter to the office but he didn't want to drag their new found relationship and all it's drama's into NCIS. They weren't on solid ground yet and couldn't afford a public fight in their workplace. But he could definitely find Tim and offer his boy a hot coffee, figuring he must be ready for a fresh cup.
He made his way into the yard and down into the CCU, not finding any trace of Tim there. He went up to his desk, his sons coffee in hand and saw him upstairs, leaving MTAC. "Here!" Gibbs said, thrusting the coffee into Tim's hands. "You must be tired." He stated, studying his newly found son and his tells. He had known Tim for six years now and in that time he had learnt all the tells this man has; when he's tired, hungry, thirsty, got a headache, getting a migraine, when he didn't sleep enough, when he overslept, when he met someone new, when he broke up or was dumped, when he had a date and even when he got lucky.
"You don't have to be here, Gibbs and you certainly didn't have to bring me coffee." He told Gibbs, grumpily.
"You need some sleep." He told Tim, hoping to avoid another argument, but trying to look out for the young man. "You nearly done here?"
"Nope, having a coffee break and I gotta go back in." Tim explained, wishing Gibbs would leave before he and Gibbs exchanged nasty words again.
"Anything I can help with?" Gibbs offered, hoping with his help maybe Tim could get home and sleep faster.
"We are encrypting and writing new computer code to protect MTAC from a cyber security attack." Tim half explained, not bothering with the other half, knowing Gibbs would never understand it or why it was so important.
"Never mind, I'll wait for you and run you home afterwards. I have plenty to do at my desk." Gibbs reminded Tim.
--
"What are you doing here, Gibbs?" Vance asked, making his way through the bullpen on his way to MTAC.
"Catching up on some work." Gibbs told the new Director.
"There is no overtime, Gibbs." He told the senior agent.
"I don't care, I have files to clear before the new MCRT take their position on Monday." Gibbs lied.
"So it has nothing to do with the fact that the former Agent McGee is working on a special project up in MTAC for me?" Vance asked incredulously.
"I'd say more like fixing a problem you didn't know you had, since he was called in at midnight." Gibbs retorted, causing the new Director to raise his eyebrows.
"McGee tell you what's going on?" He asked, wondering just what the relationship was between Gibbs and his former probationary field agent.
"Just the opposite, he didn't tell me anything. Tim doesn't tell me, squat. I know he's tired, though." Gibbs answered, he didn't want Vance thinking Tim was a snitch, either.
"He told me that it isn't the most tired he's ever been and that he's fine. I trust his judgment." Vance told Gibbs. "Unlike you, you can't even let him to do his work without hovering nearby."
"I'm working at my own desk, I don't hover." Gibbs denied and mentally growled at himself. He knew it was a lie.
"You want to work for free, that's fine. Just don't expect to be paid." Vance snapped as walked past the senior supervisor.
--
It was almost 2000 hours, Tim had been working for twenty hours straight now, he'd been holed up in MTAC for the bulk of that time. If he didn't know any better, he'd swear Tim was avoiding him. But he'd been up to MTAC three times today already, bringing Tim a coffee each time and each time he'd seen Tim, well parts of him. He was either laying cabling, doing something in the mainframe that involved half climbing inside the brains of MTAC or he was furiously typing and swearing at the system, simultaneously.
On his fifth and final coffee run of the day, he sat back in the darkened room and watched as Tim began typing furiously, adjust something else and type again. He instructed the MTAC tech to connect a call Cassie Yates in the Singapore office.
"Hey Timmo," Cassie's sing-song voice came over the line. Gibbs had to grin, he'd thought of calling the man Timmo before too. But he'd never actually done it.
"Hey beautiful!" He replied, giving her a megawatt grin. "How's life in the Garden city?"
"Life is treating me well. I'll be able to get some work done, as soon as you get MTAC secure." Yates playfully chastised him.
"I can see that." Tim told her, giving the once over - twice. "Working on MTAC now, Cass." Tim groaned out, before straightening up. "Ok, on my mark enter #680?5/idj?gu.-874\server. What did you get?"
"Besides a headache." Cassie quipped and Gibbs stifled a laugh of his own. "Ok, we're in."
"You are the best, next time you're in DC, dinners on me." Tim praised, sending Cassie a smile too.
"Great, can I get some work done, now?" She asked and Tim winked at her.
"See if you can call us back, then you're free to go." Tim instructed as he changed workstations and set up something, Gibbs couldn't see what.
"Oh boy!" She sighed, dramatically. "Only if you throw in a bottle of Chianti with dinner." She countered and Gibbs could see the grin on Tim's face.
"Done." Tim severed their connection and within thirty seconds it was pinging again with an incoming call from the Singapore office. "You are the best!" Tim answered.
"Servetti's doesn't count as dinner and not one of those diners your so fond of, either my friend." Yates reminded him.
"Hotel restaurant? Chianti? Anything else?" He asked and Gibbs wondered when Tim and Cassie had developed their friendship.
"Flowers would be nice." She teased him.
"You're pushing your luck now, Yates." Tim chastised. "Get to work!"
"Aye-aye!" And just like that, Cassie Yates was gone again.
--
"I know you're there, Gibbs." Tim said loudly, not turning around, as soon as the call disconnected. "I can smell the coffee."
"I'm impressed!" Gibbs exclaimed, he wasn't impressed by the tech stuff, well he was, but that's not what had him exclaiming his awe of Tim in the middle of MTAC on a Saturday night. "Thought you told me you weren't a ladies man."
"I'm not!" Tim denied vehemently.
"So tough as nails Agent Cassie Yates, randomly does you a favour, just for something to do."
"Yeah," Tim answered and Gibbs knew he was lying. Gibbs glared at him a little and Tim backed down and explained. "The way to Cassie's heart is food. Not just any food, good, hearty food."
"And a bottle of Chianti?" Gibbs asked with a smirk.
"Coffee can only get you so far!" Tim jested and Gibbs actually couldn't tell if Tim was serious or not.
"I don't have to have the birds and the bees talk with you, do I?" Gibbs asked, half serious. Gibbs had detected a flirtatious undertone in their conversation when they were making their dinner plans.
"Oh god, no!" Tim groaned our, embarrassed at the thought of his former boss trying to give him the sex talk. Tim was deliberately ignoring their new found DNA link. It had been embarrassing enough when at age 13, Mr Melati, the science teacher at the base school in Quantico had pulled all the boys aside after class and given them a sex talk. After two boys cornered a girl backstage at the drama production rehearsals and got caught with their pants down - literally. "It's not like that, Cassie and I are just friends." Tim denied, Gibbs breathing out an audible sigh of relief. So far in his life, Gibbs hadn't had to give anyone the birds and the bees talk. He did have to explain to Emily once how to use a sanitary pad when she'd gotten her period for the first time whilst she was in his care. But he left the particulars to Tobias and Diane.
"Like you and Sam?" Gibbs enquired.
"In another time and another place, we were. Not anymore." Tim told Gibbs, the tone of his voice helping carry the weight of his words to the older agent.
--
"Dinner?" Gibbs offered and Tim looked at his watch. He still needed to brief Vance and write up his report.
"Two hours?" He asked. "Briefing and reports. Meet you at Elaine's?"
"It's ok, I have work today. I'll wait." Gibbs answered, he was afraid if he let Tim meet him, Tim might chicken out and not show up.
"Ready?" Tim asked, exactly one hour and fifty six minutes later.
"Let me just save this and we can go." Gibbs told Tim and Tim had been impressed that Gibbs actually knew how to do that.
Tim followed Gibbs in his Porsche to Elaine's, instead of eating at the bar, Gibbs guided him to a booth in the back corner. "Coffee? Beer?" Elaine offered as she came over to greet Gibbs and 'one of his boys' as she referred to them.
"Two beers." Gibbs answered for them both and Tim raised an eyebrow. "Yes beer, Timothy." Gibbs told him firmly. "I've drank bourbon with my son, now, I'd like to have a beer with him too."
"I'm not your son." He denied, beginning to get worked up. "You just impregnated my birth mother. A father has to actually be there." Gibbs just looked at Tim, exasperated. "Don't worry, the Admiral ain't my father either."
"Look, let's not argue about this, again." Gibbs told Tim, chalking this argument up to being his fault for mentioning son and Tim in the same sentence. "Let's have that beer and some delicious dinner."
"Deal" Tim agreed and Gibbs smiled to himself. He didn't think he'd actually be able to talk Tim into it, but he did.
--
Dinner was consumed and Elaine talked Tim into a small piece of apple pie, with ice cream and caramel sauce. Gibbs had his favourite chocolate brownie. Tim said goodbye to Gibbs and Gibbs returned his goodbye. "You're welcome to come over and talk about what's in the letter." Gibbs reminded him. "You're always welcome in my home."
"I'll think about it." Tim answered honestly.
--
Tim let himself back in to an empty apartment, Sam was away from home for the night, having gone to a bachelorette party for her best girlfriend Evie and was spending the at Evie's apartment. Tim went straight into the shower, before landing on his pillow. He found the letter Gibbs had left for him from Jenny for him.
He held the envelope in his hand and looked up to the light, trying to guess the contents. Tim thought that the last letter had contained all he needed to know.
'To my darling baby boy,
You are finally earthside my love and I want nothing more than to keep you close, forever. I have named you Jasper Timothy. The adoption agency told me not to have high hopes that your adoptive parents will keep the name Jasper. But the name is important to me, it's a family name, it's your grandfather's name.
Your adoptive parents are kind and wise. The woman was cursed with damaged uterus after a fall from a horse when she was twelve. She can not have children of her own. The man is a military man, navy and he seems very rigid, but his wife has assured me that he will be an excellent father.
I was supposed to be giving you up today, but I can't. I'm holding on tight and I am afraid to let go. I have had you by my side for the last five days, day and night. They've bought you into me to feed you, change you and burp you. I gave you a bath this morning and it was indescribable joy. After your bath my sweet boy, they let me feed you and my hungry boy had a huge go of nuzzling and feeding from me.
Today, you made me feel like you and me, we could of made it. But your adopted family arrived promptly at six and I reluctantly handed you over.
My heart broke in two as the husband, John told me they would be refusing my request to name you Jasper, however the wife loved your middle name Timothy. I believe that's what they're planning on naming you.
There's still another week before your Grandfather comes to Naples to collect me and although I'm looking forward to going home. I'm not looking forward to not having you in my arms for the rest of my life.
The nuns sedated me after your adopted family left. In my dreams, I dreamt that we were reunited together again, in my family home. I dreamed of you, loving the library in our family home. Of reading books and losing yourself in your imagination. I dreamed of you, building rockets and electric cars, of remote control trucks and anything else that tickled your fancy.
Please don't hate me for reluctantly giving you up. I can not go against my father, his word is the law in the Shepard family. I hope one day, we meet again and you can forgive me, my sweet boy.
All my love
Mum x'
Tim curled up into his pillow and let his tears fall. She loved him, his birth mother loved him. She dreamt of a life that they could of shared, of a normal childhood for him and his heart suddenly broke as he mourned the loss of the woman he barely knew.
Sure, he Director Jennifer Shepard the fierce and tough as nails NCIS Director. But he didn't know Jenny, or Jen. He didn't know her as a mother or as his former boss knew her, as a Probie. He didn't know her as an agent or as a woman. He mourned her … and all the versions of her, that he'd never know.
--
Gibbs sat in his basement, alone and frustrated. Suddenly not caring about the hour of the night, he flipped open his cell and dialled a number he rarely called, needing help.
"Dad?" Gibbs whispered into his cell as the call answered.
"Leroy?" Jackson asked through his sleepy state. "Is that you, son?"
"Yeah, I need your help." Gibbs begged in a small voice. "Can you come to DC for a visit?"
"Is everything ok, Leroy?" Jackson asked his son, now wide awake.
"I don't know." Gibbs told his father, honestly as he ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "Can you come?"
"When? When do you need me there?" Jackson asked, it had been almost thirty years since his son had admitted that he needed him. 'Now's not the time to be lettin' Leroy down.' He thought.
"Is next weekend too soon?" Gibbs asked hopeful. If he didn't have a new team starting on Monday, he'd have asked his father to meet him tomorrow.
"I'll be there, close of business, Friday evening." The older gent promised his son.
"Thank you." Gibbs whispered. "For everything."