He tried, he tried really hard to stay away. He kept telling himself that he was doing this for her. So that she could be safe. So that she could have the sunlight she adored so much. So that her laughter was never painted with worry again. So that he never witnessed the terrifying look he saw in her eyes on her 18th birthday, when she was on the floor, her arm bleeding. But he couldn't stay away. The soul he thought he didn't possess, ached. He felt like someone, something so heavy was sitting down on his chest. His body hurt from head to toe; he told himself he would get used to the pain in the beginning. He didn't. Until that morning where he couldn't take it anymore. Coming back to her was not a well thought decision, especially considering that he still wore the same clothes from 6 months ago. It wasn't his fault, really, one didn't need to dress up when they just sat down on the deep forest floor. He didn't need to breathe, to move, to sleep. So he sat. Sometimes paced, but never left the small forest he was in, terrified that even one step outside would break his resolve.
Alice and Jasper met him near the entrance of Forks. He expected they would be happy to hear him come back. Alice was constantly begging him to return for the first weeks, trying to show him her visions. Bella losing weight every day, Bella crying, Bella screaming in her sleep, Bella driving to Cullen's house and begging him to come out at the door like he was hiding inside… The last one was his breaking point, where he screamed at his family not to come back again. But now, they didn't look happy. Alice wordlessly handed him a bag with new set of clothes, a comb, and a few more human items.
"Good luck." She whispered before letting a grim-faced Jasper pull her towards the forest.
He knew he needed luck. Bella was probably furious at him. After 6 months of pain, he was going to tell her that he lied. She was going to be very upset and maybe she would tell him to leave her alone. Even the thought pierced his heart. He couldn't bear to hear it from her lips.
He wouldn't leave. He promised himself, still running. He would do anything in his power to win her back. He would beg, he would follow her everywhere, buy her every gift he could think of.
Except… He didn't need to.
The moment his body entered to her home from the small, familiar window in her room he found himself eye to eye with her. His body ached again. They looked very similar. Pale skin, dark purple rings under eyes and shivering hands.
He didn't need to beg because she came to her. Her eyes never left his face but travelled through all his features. His hands reached out to hers, involuntary, fingers barely tracing hers, afraid of rejection. She quickly looked down and burst into tears, throwing himself to his arms.
Despite his shock, he was joyous. He knew he still had to earn her forgiveness, but she still loved him! She accepted him back!
He closed his eyes in peace, for the first time in six months and whispered all he wanted to say until he noticed that she was sleeping. He gently laid her down on the bed and kissed her eyebrow before going home to Alice and Jasper. He didn't know when everyone would be back, but he suspected that Alice already started the arrangements. He was going to be back in school tomorrow, like before.
He was going to take a shower, do his hair, be the most handsome version of himself he can be and he was going to be there to love her again.