She couldn't keep up with what was going on. She was surprised when Charlie called her down by saying that Doctor Cullen was there to see her. Her mind went directly to what happened with Emmett, maybe he was there to warn her about their secret and would tell her to stay away from them. She was completely blinded when he pulled her tightly to his arms and hugged her. She didn't know why he was there and why was he hugging her, it made her heartbeat faster and her breaths becoming shorter. Anxiety filled her body, and she couldn't relax, no matter how many deep breaths she tried to take.

So, she just waited until Carlisle released her and took a step back.

"I'm sorry, Bella." He whispered. One of his hands went up, scratching the back of his neck; reminding her of Edward so much that the hole in her heart ached again. "I shouldn't have touched you without your permission. I'm sorry."

She didn't answer. He looked around anxiously, Charlie was already in front of the TV, not paying attention to what was going on in the kitchen at all. Her pulled out a chair for her and gently guided her to sit down. He took the other chair and sighed.

"I-I came here to speak to you, to explain. Edward, Alice and Emmett all tried but there seems to be a communication problem. You misunderstood them." She nodded; her eyes glued to his shoulder again. Of course, she knew that she misunderstood everything, but she didn't understand why Carlisle was there to explain again.

"I know." She said quietly. "I try to keep my distance, but they keep finding me in school. I swear I'm not trying to insert myself back into your family." Sentences were difficult to form, speaking in long sentences felt foreign. Carlisle shook his head and reached out, holding one of her small hands in his own.

"No, Bella! We don't want you to keep your distance! Leaving you was the biggest mistakes we had ever done, and I promise that we all are regretting the decision so much! I know it won't be easy but if you still hold a little bit regard for any of us, we would like to try and mend the distance." She looked at his eyes for the first time, a darker part of her mind expecting him to look amused. He looked remorseful. She didn't understand why they would want to "mend the distance"? The whole reason why they pretended to accept her into the family was because they believed that she was his mate. But time proved that she was not. Why would they want a human around again?

"I-"She struggled to form a coherent sentence. "I don't- I don't understand what you mean."

Carlisle Cullen sighed again, louder this time. He squeezed her delicate hands gently. The best policy was honesty, right? So, he just started to tell her the story of a lost man, who was crushed between his love and his need to keep her love safe. She listened quietly, finally understood what was going on when he finished. They wanted to pretend again.

They were probably lonely. She knew that they were a close-knit family but after decades, it was normal that they wanted some change. She provided lots of entertainment, she knew.

Before, when Alice tried to change her wardrobe and she rolled her eyes and everyone laughed, she thought that they were laughing together.
After she realized it probably looked like people dressing their puppies with fancy clothing to them, she realized that they were laughing at her, not with her.

Before, when Emmett joked about her imbalance, about how fragile she was; she thought they were laughing together.
After she realized that the sight of her falling in straight surfaces was like that funny cat videos people watch, where cats try to climb stuff much higher than themselves.

But she was sure that it was entertaining to be around her. And they wanted it back. They wanted to pretend again.

She just didn't know how to explain Carlisle that she was a horrible actress. She was funny before because she believed it was real. Now was different. She used all her pretending skills to appear like a normal human now. She didn't have any to spare.

"Of course, I'll always love you… in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm… tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella."

New Moon, Stephenie Meyer

A/N:

I know that it might look like she has too much self hatred but I don't think it is excessive or far stretch from the books. Bella always feels inferior to them, always feels like they mean a lot to her more than she means to them. I mean she apologizes for cutting her finger in New Moon, I don't think this is healthy behavior. Anyway, I already warned you guys in the first episode, I hope to make this story darker and much, much sadder. Hopefully I can make you guys feel so much that you shed a tear or two.

Oh and this story is supposed to be drabbles(100-200 words) but as you can see I can't help myself and end up writing much more. I hope you are enjoying them!