Edward Cullen was uneasy. His body was used to holding Bella when she was sleeping, but not her being this still. He was used to her face change depending on her dreams, used to her tossing and turning, speaking here and there. It was precisely why it was so fascinating to watch her sleep. (Aside from hearing her saying his name lovingly.) He also saw her screaming in her sleep in Alice's visions. Even though it was painful to witness, he thought that it was much better than this stoic stance.
He also knew that some humans just slept like dead, it didn't mean anything bad necessarily. But he knew that his Bella was not one of them, and the change made him feel very uneasy.
It was one of his biggest mistakes to leave her side in the first night he came back. So he was determined not to make the same mistake again. He carried her to the bed after she fell asleep and held her, trying to list the ways that he could make her believe him again.
Her lack of trust really threw him off the guard.
He was terrified of the possibility of her moving on when he came back, but he was prepared for it. He was very happy when he understood that she still loved him and he naively thought that everything would be okay. He never thought how he would feel if he still had her love but not her trust.
He felt very stupid then, thinking how relationships -even the mating bond- was about love only. He took her trust for granted. No-he despised it. His memory was very fresh, about how much he hated the fact that Bella trusted him so blindly in the beginning. He remembered how he joked about her lack of instincts to protect herself.
He felt sick to his stomach then. She gave him her love, she trusted him with her whole being and he first hated it, and then ignored it until he threw them to her face in that horrible day in the forest.
And he came to a shocking realization: Bella didn't believe him that easily in the forest because she loved him less. She believed him because she simply didn't think that he would lie. She believed him because she trusted him, even then.
He squeezed his eyes shut, his arms getting tighter around her.
He was given a second chance; he would do better. He would love her better, he would heal her. And then, he would change her. He understood now, there was no other way. She loved him.
Realization was bittersweet.
But she loved him.
She truly did.