Esme Cullen kept wringing her hands and smoothing down her hair, she didn't know what to do with this nervous energy. Her husband stopped her hands, hugging her to his chest. She breathed his scent in, letting it calm her down a little.
"Are you sure that it will help?"
"I don't know Esme. Art is supposed to help." She knew. She heard his arguments a few times before. Bella refused to speak with a therapist, human or vampire. Humans were out of the question because no matter how Carlisle tried to convince her that she can keep secrets while getting better, she was terrified of slipping out. She refused to even meet with Carmen, who was trained as a therapist and willing to help after Carlisle reached out to Denalis. She didn't give him a reason, but Carlisle was suspicious that underlying reason was the pet argument she made in the beginning, with Emmett. They had to find other ways to help her.
Edward tried music, but she dissociated the moment she heard the piano.
Emmett tried suggesting sports; she cried all night thinking that he was making fun of her. She stopped talking to Emmett for a week after that.
She was also reluctant to try painting, she argued that they went to a few workshops with Renee when she was young, and she was horrible at it. Carlisle argued back, you were not supposed to be good at a hobby. Finally, she agreed to take some classes from Esme. It was like a miracle when she agreed to come to their house.
Esme thought that it would be better to start in the garden. For one, she knew that Bella refused to come over and she didn't want to force her face the bad memories inside the house. Even though they redecorated the whole house. Second, she knew that fresh air and movement was good for humans, she hoped that being with her plants would also help her. And thirdly, she knew that her son was anxious to be away from her all the time and his room had the direct view of the garden. He could watch and at least be at peace that she was safe.
The couple broke their embrace when they heard the loud voice of her truck coming to their driveway.
They worked with acrylic and watercolor, Esme said that they were the easiest to control for beginners. They didn't immediately start painting, like they did in the workshops she went with Renee. Esme led her in the garden, they picked some leaves in different shades of green and some berries and tomatoes. And then they worked to match the colors in the canvas with them.
For the first time in for a long time, Bella didn't feel hurt.
Mixing the colors, making mistakes, and then fixing them was so relaxing that she didn't notice that it got dark until she saw raindrops hitting her canvas. Startled, she first looked up to the dark sky and the rain falling to her face, and then to Esme, who was beaming next to her.
"I guess that's it for today." She said gently, as she always did. "It wasn't so bad, was it?" Bella smiled, not because she felt like it was appropriate but because she felt like smiling. Esme's smile got even bigger. She wringed her hands again and looked towards the door leading to the house. "Why don't you come and have dinner?" At Bella's guarded expression, she immediately added "I know you have some bad memories, but we cleaned everything and even made some renovations, I promise nothing will give you flashbacks Bella." She was nearly begging.
Bella's heart clenched in her chest, all the relaxation from the day flying away and getting replaced with pain and self-hate. How she longed to be something that is not human!
"It's not about that, Esme." She said, looking defeated. "I'll make your whole house smell like me."
Esme was glued to her place, while she watched Bella gather her stuff and walk towards her car. Where Edward waited for her with an umbrella. Their eyes connected; Esme didn't know how she could forgive her son then.