25 – FINAL
The day she turned into 20, she was sitting in the kitchen of their apartment in New Hampshire, laughing quietly at his attempts to cook her a recipe he had found on Pinterest. They were both second year students in Dartmouth, he had finally convinced her to move out of the dorms in the previous year. They both knew that her stubbornness was born from the belief that he would eventually leave her, and if she gave up her place in dorms, where would she live? They both ignored it, it eventually faded away.
She was 27, when she first let him see her naked. She let him kiss her scars and touch her, but never let him make love to her. She knew that this was something he wanted to experience with his wife and his mate, she was neither. And it felt like taking advantage of him to let him, while she knew that he would regret it the moment he found his mate. She never swayed on this decision.
She was 29, when Carlisle tried to force her have an open heart surgery. He was terrified that something would happen, and her heart wouldn't be able to change. She was very confused, until she noticed that they still thought that she wanted to be changed: She did not. The idea of being frozen in the way she is, was terrifying. It'll be normal until Edward had found his mate. But then? She already knew that the Cullens would pack up and leave with him, what was she supposed to do? Follow them like a puppy forever? Esme tried to tell her that she was family, but she didn't have any answers when Bella asked her if she would pack up and leave without even a small goodbye if Jasper came and told them they need to leave Alice behind. "It's not the same!" Esme cried. "Yes," she smiled gently, feeling much older than Esme at that moment. "It's not the same and if I was truly family, it would be."
By the time she was 35, all of her friends were married. Edward asked her 4 times, until she sat him down and firmly told him that she was not getting married, ever. He didn't ask again, except, the dream of her in the dress Angela wore, walking down the aisle to him remained in the corner of his mind.
She was 39, when Charlie Swan died in his sleep. She cried, but she couldn't say that it hurt a lot. He stopped calling her when she told him that she was not getting married or pregnant, ever years ago. She didn't even know where her mother went after she was divorced from Phil, she didn't want to know. It hit her, in a cold, quiet evening that she had no one left. It made her cry all night.
She was 51, when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. It wasn't surprising, really. She and Carlisle talked a lot, she knew that all the sleep and food depravation, all the pills she took unsupervised would catch up with her somehow. She told them that she wanted to be in a facility, so that she didn't become a burden to them; they refused.
For years, the Cullens had been watching her get older. The white patches in her head, because she refused to dye her hair; wrinkles in the corners of her eyes and mouth, brown spots forming in her hands. After that, they watched her get younger. Some days she woke up normal, just as she was a few years ago. Some days, she woke up normal, also but in a different way. A way they missed terribly. She laughed freely with Emmett, joked, told him that she would beat him in arm wrestling once she was changed. She sat on Edward's lap, curling up like a kitten, her arms squeezing him all she might. She joked that Alice was losing her mind, what was the point of trying on thousands of dresses if there was not a single mirror in their house? Alice laughed, told her it was the new Feng Shui trend: No mirrors allowed in the house, you just listen to your sister when she tells you that you look fabulous.
One day, she woke up screaming. Begging him not to leave her, apologizing thousand times, promising that she would be a better pet. She wouldn't touch him without his permission, she wouldn't get too close, she wouldn't tell him she loved him. She begged, please don't leave me.
On another day, she smiled at the sunbeams creating tiny diamonds in his skin while he caressed her hand. "Edward." She whispered, afraid of breaking the peace in their meadow, surrounded with flowers. "Bella." He also whispered, his cold lips in her ears.
"I bought a dress last week." He stilled.
"What dress?"
"A wedding dress." She felt him smile in her ear.
"A good investment."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." She bit her lips to keep herself from laughing but got closer to him. His marble arms held her tighter, his lips kissed her hands and her neck.
On another insignificant day, she called Carlisle "Daddy". He didn't correct, just smiled and listened. She asked him why he left her all alone. "Mommy said I'm difficult to love. I promise I'll be a good girl." Esme Cullen had to hold his husband's shaking body all night that day, dry sobs ripping through his body.
One afternoon, she woke up very tired from her nap. Joked with Emmett, telling her she felt like 60 years old. He laughed through his venom filled eyes, gently caressed silver hair and told her that she would be 17 forever.
When she was 17 and in love, Isabella Swan thought that after she was changed and they spent centuries together, she would leave this earth with him beside her. She was correct, in a way. She was surrounded by familiar faces when she took her last breath. Her hand held tightly in Edward's.
When she was 17 and in love, Isabella Swan thought that she would live forever. She did, in a way. She lived in the names of a series of library wings all around the world. She lived in his pictures, in watercolor, in acrylic, in oil; always laughing, smiling, red cheeks. She lived in his mind, always there to encourage him to live through one more day. She lived in Emmett's stories; her name never used in past tense: always present. She lived in the empty bedrooms they kept in every single house they bought. She lived in the flower patterned blouses bought; always one size too big for Alice.
Isabella Swan was right, after all. She did live forever.
In a way.
AN: So, this is it. I actually planned to post this chapter tomorrow but I actually cried myself when I finished writing just now (2 am in where I live) so I was like "what the hell, I'll just post it."
Alzeihmer's stuff is a small tribute to one of my old friends' grandfather, they were our neighbours and it was very upsetting to witness how he turned into a child in a 70 year old man's body. Some days he used to think that his granddaughter was his mother and his son was his father, he turned into a small kid. It was heart breaking, I hope he is in a better place now.
I'm very curious about your reactions about the ending. I always planned to end it like this so no surprise turns on my part but I'm kind of curious about what do you think.
As I said before, English is not my native language and it was a challenge to write 15k words in a foreign language and post it for everyone to see, it was nerve wrecking. I thank you all for your support, even though this story didn't get many views and reviews, I'd like to believe that maybe it'll have a place in your heart. Very special thanks to Sandy2348, ELou92, JaCyanna3 and Ester234 for their multiple reviews and continuous support. Some days I just sat down to write because I knew that you guys would read it for sure, so thank you so much.
Good bye, until we meet in another story! (Spoiler alert: I already have something else in mind!)