Thank you so much y'all hot damn I hope this chapter of my dumb daughter being a dumb idiot entertains! I got a poll on my profile for a later ship so feel free to vote which you think would suit her most? idk she just feels like she could go for a dynamic with all of them so it's hard for me to pick wheeze

She really forgot the male lead could read minds. She really forgot Edward Cullen would figure out she knew what they all were the moment she so much as thought about it in his vicinity. God, she was so stupid—what was next? She'd let slip that everything was a novel? That they were the creations of a Mormon housewife? Right, that'd go down well. They knew precognition was real with Alice, and they may have been open-minded, but even Clara would have a hard time believing herself. And she was herself!

All of those carefully laid out plans, all those escape routes, all of the thinking, it was just wasted in the heat of the moment by her stupidity. Clara could hit herself if she wasn't running from five apex predators. She should've stayed in the cafeteria. They wouldn't have approached her, just stared. All she had to do was stay with people and not run and things would be fine, even if they knew she knew what they were. More to the point, why did she think in her panic that she could outrun them? Edward and Alice were exceptionally fast among them, and Jasper had trained newborns for war. Emmett was the strongest of them, of fucking course, and Rosalie was the most determined of them by far! What was Clara thinking!?

It was too much to ask that she have the same shielding ability that Charlie and Bella had. Her personality was far too off to have that ability—she wasn't as concealed, unexpressive. Clara made it known if she was displeased or not and spoke her mind, showed her ambitions wherever possible. Hell, knowing her luck, she was loud to Edward. Not in the way that an annoying teen would be trying to get attention, but in the way someone with a presence commanded attention.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid—

The cold hands that grabbed her as she passed some lockers caught her by surprise. She held back a yelp, lifted off of the ground effortlessly, and as she was pressed against a row of lockers all she could do was wheeze and give Rosalie a wide-eyed stare as her kneejerk reaction was the thought of, Whoa, mommy.

Behind Rosalie, Edward's displeased expression was like a neon sign displaying exactly what she'd said.

What was the best route for this? She already fucked up by running. Denial maybe? Oh, woe was Clara, she was still suffering from a baseball to the eye. No, that wouldn't work. All of them could hear her heartbeat and she was sure as hell not passing any polygraphs any time soon. Plead insanity? No, shit, this wasn't court; you're such a fucking moron, Claribel Swan, what the fuck—

Edward cringed and rubbed at his forehead. "So loud," he grumbled.

Right! Playing dumb, it was!

"Hm?" she prompted innocently.

His disappointed stare was back on her. In the distance, on either side of the short hall, the other three of the Cullen-Hale family approached—Alice and Jasper at a distance, coming from the cafeteria, and Emmett with an almost childlike excitement to him, from the direction of the gym.

As the other members approached, it was Emmett who broke the tense silence with a bold statement.

"Oh, hey, it's the one everyone said got into a fight with the—"

Clara hissed at him, "It was an accident!"

He looked dubious as he smirked. God, go away, all of you…

"May I please leave?" Clara went on. "I really was on my way to the nurse before this."

They all looked at each other. Rosalie showed no sign of letting her down. Great, she thought as her face scrunched up. Instead of one headache, now she had five.

Edward cleared his throat at her. She glared at him. "I wanted you to hear that one," she snapped.

She was dropped by Rosalie all of a sudden. Clara tumbled to the floor, practically sliding onto her back with a dying sound forced out of her lungs, and she felt the adrenaline wear off as she stared at the ceiling. Every possible turn, it was straight to Dumbass City for her. Any chance she had right now of some peace was gone faster than any of these vampires could run, and Clara just let out a low rumble of a groan as they circled her.

They were talking among themselves, trying to figure things out in hushed tones that she could barely hear herself. Every so often they'd look to Edward, who was so obviously searching her ambient thoughts, and Edward just gave her a dry stare with every self-loathing, chiding thought that ran through her head. She just had to move in with Charlie, couldn't put up with Renee pushing her stupid coping mechanisms on her because the favourite daughter was in a coma, no. Clara had to go where the plot was, because how stupid could you get? Nothing ever happened in Arizona until James came along, and even then it was all to get to Bella! Stephanie Meyer had it all laid out in the first book! Hell, the closest they got to leaving Forks was the Volturi and wherever the hell the Denali coven were situated!

Wait. It was in the stupid name. Denali. God, were the last few years of training her brain and planning her escape to Texas really that worthless right now? Did she just waste her middle and high school years trying to be a chessmaster when the best option was to never play?

Ah, wait. Edward was hearing all of this. She glanced away from the ceiling, face scrunched up once again, and found his own stare directed down at her. He… certainly looked like he'd heard everything. All the crazy parts too.

"This is a long shot, but if we agree I'm crazy and pretend I never thought those things, can we go on with our own business?" she tried.

Edward shook his head.

Balls.

"We just got here," Rosalie hissed at the group. "How the hell did someone find out already?"

"I'll explain later," Edward quickly replied. He looked away from Clara once to address his siblings properly. "I'm still processing it."

"Try being nine and finding out," Clara grumbled. More harsh looks directed at her. She could only whine some more, tired and dismayed and God this headache was starting to set in real bad. There was still half a day of school left to sit through—maybe she should've stayed home like Charlie encouraged her to. It wasn't like the school could question the guy in charge of the police force in Forks. And it wasn't like Clara was ever one to ditch in the past, either. She was a good noodle.

"Chief Swan?" Edward asked her. Clara sighed and nodded. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. He didn't seem to be questioning the whole bit where she knew he could read minds now, but that bridge was probably going to be crossed when she least expected it.

Alice was rocking back and forth on her heels and clinging to Jasper the whole time. Edward pondered for a moment, glancing at his siblings, and Clara could see Rosalie's warning glare that was opposed to whatever he was about to say.

Loudly, firmly, Edward took on a polite tone. "I'm really sorry about that," he announced. "It's uncanny. You looked just like her, and none of us could figure out why you ran off so fast."

A student was entering the hall from the other side just as Edward held out a hand to help Clara up. Clara stared at him with a blank expression. Their demeanours had become more relaxed simultaneously, and it soon became obvious she was being given an out of some kind. She could play along and eyes would be kept off of them for the time being. Despite having vampires watching her like a hawk, standing out too much outside of her talents and being labelled as weird was not on her itinerary.

She took his hand. He made a show of putting in effort to lift her up as she tried to stand.

"It happens," she said quickly. "Guess I have one of those faces."

"One of your friends is on the way," Alice chirped. The student continued walking past, unaware of the interrogation that just went on, and there was practically no suspicion in the air. "Will the same excuse work? You made a show of running off."

"I took a baseball to the eye," Clara mumbled. "I'll just lie and say I got some vertigo from moving around so much. Bathroom isn't far from here either, so it's believable that I ran off to hurl chunks."

At least most of them seemed happy with that answer. Clara leaned against the lockers and let out a tired breath. She probably would've been fine if she napped in the nurse's office, but now it was pretty apparent going home would be for the best. Mentally prepare herself and how she'd explain herself when the truth was probably more unbelievable than vampire-human hybrids. Which, now that Edward had probably heard that, she would also have to explain. Clara's head began to throb sharply, a pain at the back of her eye. She could've survived one more year without this drama, but God forbid she avoid Bella's plot now that Bella wasn't around.

"We'll keep in touch," Edward cut in. She gave him a tired look, already feeling the bags forming under her eyes, and didn't say anything. "In the meantime, why don't you drop by the clinic? Our father can give you something for that swelling."

That was a threat to come see the Cullens again if she ever heard one. He nodded in agreement, almost smiling to himself—like he was glad she understood immediately what the implications were.

Clara blinked. "Right. I hear he's a stellar doctor," she sighed.

"I'd hate to brag, but…"

She cringed at him. It'd been a long time since she'd read the first book—was he playful during the events of that one? Before he opened up to Bella, of course. She had all those years of absolute obsession with the books and its characters, but the past few years spent focusing on remembering the answers to math problems and the plots of required reading for English classes sort of pushed it all to the side a little.

Maybe she should brainstorm when her head wasn't hurting.

"Enjoy your first day, then," she said. Clara waved them off as she tried to push past, towards the nurse's office. "Don't freak everyone out too much."

"I'd hate to make you hear about us every day for the next three years," Edward scoffed. She paused her walk, her face scrunched up as she turned to him. Goddamn vampires and their goddamn diamond bullshit skin and their only weakness being fire. If the garlic thing were true, she'd pelt garlic bread at them on sight. "Go home before you get me too curious to interrogate you now."

She didn't waste any time lingering. The sooner she got home and took a nap, the better.

"You, ah… You doing okay there, Clare Bear?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Just a little… strange that you ordered three servings of garlic bread and no pizza."

She tore another piece of the bread off and popped it in her mouth. "It's my new comfort food."

Charlie looked down at his own pizza. They'd ordered takeout for dinner, getting a delivery courtesy of Charlie's paycheck, and Clare had opted out of pizza entirely when Charlie asked what she wanted. The day had just been too much for her, and while it wasn't going to ward off any leeches from her, she could at least delude herself into thinking it would. And garlic bread was the shit anyway.

"You gonna eat it all?" he asked.

"Depends," she said. "You gonna trade for any?"

Charlie shook his head and dumped two slices of his pizza onto her plate. She gave him a whole loaf of garlic bread in return.

"You're just as bad as your mother," he told her. Clara snorted and picked off some of the anchovies from the first slice.

"I'd make a killing as a hostage negotiator."

"Don't hold your breath, kiddo."

She did miss her old family, her old life—but Charlie was still a pretty decent dad to have, all things considered. Clara relaxed a little more as he switched the channel over to an old movie that was already halfway finished.

Charlie finished off some garlic bread and took a large chunk out of his pizza before he seemed to realise he could make small talk. His mouth was partially full, but he was still understandable as he spoke.

"Hear the new folks' kids started today," he said.

Clara grunted.

"Met 'em. They looked bougie."

He licked his lips and processed for a moment. When the silence stretched on for a little too long, Clara went on, "Like obnoxious rich people, Dad."

"Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely got the cars for it."

Were the cars in the film a subtle promotion of new models, she asked herself? She couldn't recall. Clara just remembered that they had big jeeps and sleek models, and in the books it was only because they were fast cars. Maybe the Cullens should've taken up racing as a hobby instead of going to high school over and over.

By the time they finished their dinner, the movie had ended with an unsatisfying conclusion. Something about a dream all along, the kind of cliche that would make Shyamalan millions at the box office, and Clara didn't hold back her disdain for it all. Being inside of fiction didn't mean it came with brand new franchises to read—none of that story within a story bullshit—so she had to live with the old, cringe-worthy noughties films that were considered groundbreaking back in the day. She couldn't wait for the day the latter half of the Harry Potter films started to come out. Those were peak spectacles.

Maybe she should get into documentaries instead. Or get ahead of the curb with podcasts once they started to become more well-known. Oh, she should do her own Dungeons and Dragons one! The gimmick of making Twilight characters play it would—

No. Fuck. No one else knew they were in a fucking book. Toss that idea into the incinerator.

"I think I'm losing my zest for life," she blurted out. Charlie looked at her, eyes wide, as he picked up their plates to take to the kitchen.

"M—Meaning…"

"I'm bored."

He let out the most relieved breath she'd ever heard. Charlie, legs visibly weak, pushed himself to put the plates out and return to the couch.

"You're gonna give me a heart attack one day," Charlie groaned. Clara reached over and patted his knee, a sort of, Hang in there, champ, gesture. "You been doing okay? Been a little… off since you started preparing for the school year."

"I'm ready to embrace the notion of all life being meaningless and to let go of all physical attachments."

"Claribel, do I need to look for a therapist for you?"

Good question. Probably not.

"Don't worry," she said eventually. "I'm too proud to do anything."

He gave her a dubious expression. She raised her brows at him, daring him to say what was on the tip of his tongue.

Charlie changed the subject instead. "Why don't you take tomorrow off?" he asked her. "Come with me to the station. I'll let you shadow me."

"Is that allowed?"

"I'm the chief."

"Yeah, but is it allowed?"

He shrugged. She hummed.

"Sure. Why not?"

Forks was a sleepy town. Not the real Forks, of course not, but the fictional Forks. The Forks she lived in.

When there was no plot to follow, there was no massive need for its police force to be on high alert. The occasional drunk here, a few speeding drivers there, maybe a domestic violence case a handful of times a year. Sleepy. Clara hadn't expected much of anything outside of phone calls reporting missing belongings and one trip out to a supermarket over a parking dispute, so by the time the day was coming to a close it wasn't unusual for herself and Charlie to throw a football across the office at each other.

She wondered if this was a common occurrence. None of the deputies and officers seemed surprised when they saw the chief and his daughter passing the pigskin with thousand-yard stares on their faces.

Clara got along decently with all the people working under Charlie. Not to the point of extended family, but there were no hard feelings between them. When they asked how her eye was doing, they'd give one of their home remedies and be on their way; when they asked how school was going, they'd tell her to keep up the good work and remember to rest; when they'd find out she had a game on an upcoming weekend, they'd get the details and promise to show up for support. They really did respect Charlie, Clara found, and that respect went a long way.

"You got any classes with those Cullen kids?" one of them asked as he typed away at his computer. Clara grunted, disinterested, as she threw the football across to Charlie. He sent it in the direction of one of his deputies, who'd joined in after settling a fight at the diner fifteen minutes prior. Neither person wanted to press charges and all he could do was give them a warning, and to let the owner know to call if they tried to come back again.

"No clue," she mumbled.

"The dad's real young lookin'," he went on. "The mom too."

She'd bet.

"Maybe we should see him about that black eye," Charlie joked. Clara sent a glare his way as she caught the football.

"It's just a black eye," she grumbled. "We'd know by now if I was concussed. Besides, we can just go see Sue."

Charlie leaned back in his chair. "Oh yeah. You getting along with Leah and Emily?"

"I guess?" She threw it to him. The officer at the computer finished typing and slid his desk chair into position to catch in the next rotation. "Feel like Emily will mother me after what happened, though."

"She means well. Seems like they like you enough, too."

Clara shrugged. The four of them continued the little exchange, passing the football as the sun started to go down and conversations of dinner began to take over. It was enough for her to mentally check herself out and relax some more, moving on instinct more than anything and barely even looking at the football as she threw it.

Things only seemed to change in the exchange when the door to the front opened, just past the small reception desk that never got used, and Clara glanced over to see who it was. Forks was a sleepy town, she reminded herself, and she wouldn't be surprised if this was someone reporting a lost dog or something.

Emmett Cullen and Rosalie Hale stared silently back at her.

The football, thrown by Charlie last-minute, slammed into her nose with a muted thump. Clara fell out of the chair with a loud screech while Charlie jumped from his own with a stunned, "Shit, Clare, Christ!"

It was salt in the wound that Emmett and one of the officers immediately started laughing. She really was having a bad time with flying objects thanks to these assholes.

"I'm good," she groaned. Charlie pulled her to her feet regardless, and he held her face in his hands as he scanned it for injuries. It felt like he was babying her, but she supposed he'd grown into the freakouts over the years. Clara really did push herself with those hobbies before settling on baseball, and Charlie had a hard time keeping up with her because of it. "Go do policing."

"Tom," Charlie called out, not even looking away, "you handle this."

Clara sneered at him. "Don't drop everything on your deputy."

"Maybe we should go to a doctor," Charlie went on. He was ignoring her protests as his deputy approached Rosalie and Emmett.

"You mean Sue."

"A doctor, not a nurse. Sue can't prescribe anything you might need."

She scoffed. "Good thing painkillers are over-the-counter."

Before Charlie could scold her more, the deputy came back with paperwork in his hands.

"Hey, champ, you got some classes with them after all! They brought your homework."

Of course she had classes with them. Why wouldn't she have classes with them after yesterday?

Clara sighed and wiggled out of Charlie's grip. He was displeased, clearly, and even gave the duo a once-over as Clara moved towards the deputy. It was all the standard stuff, she thought as she checked over them. She could recall studying these things in her past life, so knocking it out of the way would be a breeze. They never did assign the toughest of tough homework on the first week anyway. Bastards loved saving that for the end of semester.

Clara looked over at them and, like the neanderthal she was, grunted once. "Thanks."

When she turned around to try and reason with Charlie again, he was back at his desk and shrugging on his coat. His car keys were gripped in his hands. Oh for the love of—

"Blanket ban on sports until the black eye clears up," Charlie ordered her. Clara scrunched up her face at him. "Yeah, I know you won't listen. Now get in the car."

The world was unfair. Bella wasn't even here. All of this bullshit was unnecessary.

Charlie pointed to the door. He raised his brows, eyes wide. Clara groaned as loud as she could and finally gave in. She'd been through far worse as a kid, the biggest being the whole car accident that started this mess, but God forbid she be allowed to get some bed rest and chill out with some cocoa and chicken noodle soup for the soul. No, had to see the fancy vampire doctor because now there was a new risk of concussion and Sue couldn't treat it like a doctor could. What a massive middle finger to Sue, by the way, Clara was going to snitch so hard on Charlie the next time she saw Sue.

Of course Rosalie chimed in. Of course she and Emmett hadn't left yet. Of course they probably already planned on suggesting this to Charlie when they came here.

"I can give Carlisle a call," Rosalie suggested. Charlie perked up, looking back at her with an opportunistic blink. "I'm sure he'll keep the clinic doors open for the chief."

"That would be very helpful, young lady," Charlie said. He pointedly ignored the look Clara threw at him as she put on her jacket.

There really was no delaying this any longer. Rosalie and Emmett left with smug expressions, sweetly telling the Swans they'd see them at the clinic, and Charlie hovered over Clara to make sure she actually got in the car.

She didn't look his way once when they drove to the clinic. She just kept her arms crossed over her chest, pouting, and pondered her future out loud.

"I'm gonna run away and join a circus," she grumbled.

"Clowns would eat you alive."

"I'll do fire dancing."

"Vetoed. No lions, either."

"You're not the boss of the circus."

"But I'm the boss of you, and the boss says no circus."

What a cruel boss.