=Astrid's POV=
[Friday, 1/9/2015-12:30 pm]
[Isle of Berk; Berkbees]

I was such a fool. I say it to myself at least twice a day now since the breakup. I wasn't sure what else to call it; that's what happened because of my foolish mistake last year in June when Hiccup proposed to me on our three-year anniversary of dating, and I stupidly said no because I panicked about being married so young. Of course; it didn't matter once I'd calmed down. Sadly, though; I was too late to fix things with Hiccup. When I finally processed things, and relaxed…I went to talk to Hiccup and found out from his parents that he'd left and asked to be left alone. I've waited and waited, but as far as I know Hiccup hasn't made contact and hasn't returned home since June 30th when he left very early in the morning. It's now January, officially seven months and I hate it. I love Hiccup with my everything; all I wanted was a chance to explain, apologize, and beg him to give me another chance so that we could fix things. It didn't seem like my hope would be realized any time soon.

Thanksgiving and Snoggletog were average with family, and lonely for me to not see Hiccup. We always found a way to see one another on the major holidays, but not this time. I checked in with his parents once a week, praying to hear anything at all regarding Hiccup. Unfortunately; that wasn't the case. I was worried about Hiccup, how can he disappear like this for seven months? What if he wasn't alright? I could fix all of this with just one chance to speak with him, and we could go back to being together, happy…And eventually married; then starting a family. The more I thought about it, realizing that engagement was the next step in the process; the more I wanted that life with Hiccup. I didn't care that I would be in college, or how young it would happen. I just wanted a life with Hiccup.

I started college in September; I'm living at home attending Berkian University for Veterinarian. I'm a licensed CNA now; I took night courses through the Berk High School's Adult Education program starting in September; it took twelve weeks to be certified, and then we got to take the licensing exam right at the school. I passed, so now I'm working as a CNA and going to school to be a Vet. I usually work part-time and at night to open up my day for college. I'm glad mom and dad are letting me live at home still; makes things a bit easier for me. All my friends are doing too; they've started with their lives after high school, only one of them is in college like me. Fishlegs attends the same university as me; he's going out for Vet as well. Snotlout is working in a gym, and the twins are working in their family business of design; both interior and exterior.

Snotlout's little sister, Adelaide, is still in school high school until June this year when she'd graduate and then believe follow her plan to become a lawyer, or maybe it was cosmetologist? I honestly forget. I can't believe how the time has flown; where we all are right now seven months later. My friends and I tried to meet up once or twice a month just to catch up with one another; today was one of those days. We decided to all meet at a local restaurant, Berkbees, for lunch. I had already arrived with Fishlegs; the twins and Snotlout just pulled in and parked. I knew Adelaide wasn't coming because she couldn't leave school grounds, but we promised to set the next hangout on a Saturday or Sunday so she could come too.

"Hey, hey," Snotlout greeted, walking up with Ruffnut and Tuffnut.

"Hey, guys," Fishlegs waved.

"Good to see you again," I smiled softly.

"Yeah, it's been a while. Last time we hung out was…What?" Ruffnut asked.

"Probably just after Snoggletog, or maybe before," Tuffnut agreed with his slightly older sister. Yes, twins they were, but Ruffnut was born first by three minutes.

"Well, let's get inside," Snotlout ushered us. We moved inside the restaurant, and were seated at a back corner booth. We received our menus and then gave our drink orders before the man walked away to fill them. I'm sure he was just the host, but helping out whoever would be serving us. As some of us were pressed for time; we decided to skip appetizers and go right to the main course. After the drinks came a few minutes later; we placed our food order and the waitress took our menus before heading off to put the order in.

"So, how has everyone been?" Fishlegs asked.

"Good, staying busy," Tuffnut shrugged.

"Mom and dad don't let us do a lot in the business yet, mainly computer stuff," Ruffnut added in.

"You'll get there, though. They eventually want you to take over, right?" I inquired.

"That's the idea," Ruffnut nodded. "We're being trained still,"

"How about you, Snotlout?" I wondered.

"Working as well. Basically cleaning equipment, some sales here and there, offering to be a spotter to someone who came solo," Snotlout mentioned.

"Work is work," Fishlegs reminded.

"Yeah…I know," Snotlout sighed. "How about you, Fishy? How's college life?"

"Same as high school, just more spread out classes," Fishlegs stated. "Easier to live at home, that's for sure,"

"With you there," I chimed in.

"Find work yet?" Ruffnut inquired.

"Applied here and there, but nothing so far. Parents don't mind, but I told them I want something to start putting away money for after college," Fishlegs smiled.

"Smart move," Tuffnut nodded. "How about you, Astrid?"

"Working as a CNA and going to school still," I replied, looking down at my phone screen and seeing the picture of Hiccup and I when we had gotten together at fifteen. It was June 15th, 2011-Freshman Year of high school at the end of year dance. I guess it was sort of like prom, but not called that and not as much time or planning went into it. Hiccup and I agreed to go as friends, but left as boyfriend and girlfriend. Somehow, the nervous fool, summoned up the courage to ask me out before the night was over, and I accepted. It's still one of my happiest moments with him.

"Astrid…" Snotlout said in a relaxed, maybe even, sympathetic tone. "I know it usually not my style to get all serious, but…I think it's time you…Move on from Hiccup,"

My eyes widened a bit. "Why would you say that? Snotlout, I love him!" I said quickly.

"I'm not saying you don't, but-," Snotlout tried.

"It's been seven months…" Fishlegs joined in now.

"So what," I remarked. "Look guys…I already messed up once. I'm not gonna risk it again by…Moving on from him when he's gonna come back soon and-," I began.

"Astrid! He isn't coming back!" Snotlout said loudly as I froze at the words.

"Wh-What?" I asked in shock. Snotlout sighed and looked down. "Wh-Why would you say that? Wh-What do you mean he's not coming back? How do you know that?" I asked quickly.

"I know that because Hiccup said it himself…To his parents and Gobber," Snotlout informed.

"Hiccup…Made contact?" I felt my hopes rise a bit.

"Hiccup called them back in November," Snotlout stated calmly.

"B-But I ask them once a week since his disappearance if Hiccup called and they say he hasn't," I responded instantly.

"Hiccup told them not to tell you, Astrid," Ruffnut jumped in. "We all know Hiccup made contact; you weren't supposed to know,"

"Look, Astrid…" Snotlout faced me now. "Hiccup isn't coming back for a long time. Alright? When he called in November, according to Aunt Val and Uncle Stoick, Hiccup only let them know he was alright, found a job, and was sending for his stuff because he wasn't coming home for a long while,"

"B-But didn't they tell Hiccup that everything between he and I was a-," I started.

"They did, Ast…But Hiccup told them he didn't want to hear it," Fishlegs frowned. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Hiccup said it didn't matter if it was a misunderstanding or not; you told him no and ran off. Hiccup felt his only choice was to accept your response and leave you alone as you seemingly wanted to be," Snotlout continued. "Hiccup made it clear he doesn't want to hear anything about what happened, Astrid. Hiccup was hurt by it all, so he chose to distance himself to get over it. He wants to put it behind him; that's why he left Berk. Hiccup mentioned he got a job that pays good and keeps him super busy,"

"Where is he? I'll go talk to him myself," I demanded.

"Astrid…We don't know where he is right now. The job he has requires a lot of traveling, so he isn't even in the place he was before. As far as we understand; he was on the mainland, from June to November, but said he'd be leaving again soon. Hiccup travels all over the world Astrid, and that's because he requested it be that way. Always busy, always traveling…Always on the move. And he barely makes contact," Snotlout informed firmly.

"Yeah, Stoick and Valka said that Hiccup only calls once or twice a month from a restricted number. And the conversation never lasts more than five minutes; he just lets them know he's okay and hopes everything back home is too. But when he called in November; he said out right he wasn't coming back for a long time and needed his stuff from his bedroom," Ruffnut added.

"Astrid," Fishlegs put his hand on mine gently. "Hiccup left to get over you and move on with his life,"

"N-No…He wouldn't just…Throw us away like that!" I shook my head.

"We're telling you the truth," Tuffnut mentioned.

"Call Stoick and Valka yourself and ask; they'll tell you exactly what he said…" Snotlout stated. I grabbed my phone and dialed Valka, knowing she would be at home. I put it on speakerphone too.

"Haddock Residence," Valka answered.

"H-Hi, Mrs. Haddock…It's Astrid," I said.

"Hello, dear. How are you today?" Valka replied.

"I, uh, I'm kind of confused. I'm out to lunch with the others, a-and Snotlout said that…Hiccup made contact two months ago, saying he wasn't coming home for a long time…" I repeated as I'd heard things from my friends.

There was a sigh on Valka's end. "I'm afraid it's true, Astrid. We're sorry we didn't tell you, but that's how Hiccup wanted it, sweetheart,"

"I-I understand that, b-but what's all this that he said he…Wanted to move on?" I asked nervously.

"We tried to tell him, Astrid," came Stoick's voice. "We tried multiple times to tell him it was a misunderstanding, but he refused to hear it. Hiccup said that after it happened; he took a couple days to weigh his options, and decided that leaving was the best course of action. Hiccup said he accepted what happened, and was going to put it behind him and move on with his life. Also added in that he didn't want to talk to or see you; he didn't want to hear about you or what happened. And…He said he didn't even want to hear your name. Hiccup just wanted it to be left alone and hope that one day; it wouldn't hurt him as much as it did the day it happened,"

I couldn't believe this; the shock, and pain was overwhelming. "W-Where is he now?" I forced myself to ask.

"We don't know. The last time we heard from him was on Snoggletog; he called for a minute or two just to wish us a happy holiday. We asked what his plans were and he said spending it with his roommates on Berserker Island," Valka stated.

"So he's on Berserker?" I asked.

"Likely not anymore; I think that's just where his stuff is. Hiccup said he'd be traveling again when the holiday was over and we might not hear from him often," Gobber spoke up.

"Not that we hear from him a lot now anyway," Stoick muttered. "But…Astrid; the point is…Hiccup doesn't plan on returning for a long time. Honestly, I think he took this job to avoid coming back at all costs. He…Made it very clear he wanted to get over what happened and move on in his life. I…Hope that a day comes where it can change; he'll come back and you two can talk about things, but for now…" he trailed off.

"No…No; it's okay. I understand, Mr. Haddock. For now; I should probably just…Focus on my life, right?" Astrid sighed.

"It…Would be for the best, Astrid," Valka said lightly.

I closed my eyes. "Okay…Thanks for telling me," I said before ending the call and putting my phone away.

"We tried to tell you, Ast…" Fishlegs said gently.

"I know, Fishlegs…It just hurts. I knew Hiccup had to be upset, but to just…Take off and plan on not coming back over it all..." I trailed off.

"We know. It doesn't seem like something Hiccup would do, but…Maybe he felt that just a small vacation wouldn't be enough?" Ruffnut offered.

"No, not that. The fact we didn't even talk before he decided to just leave. It's like…No closure, nothing. Just gone," I stated.

"Well, maybe a day will come where you two will see one another again and get to have that talk. And whatever happens…Happens. There's no telling right now, so it's best not to put your life on hold for Hiccup…He's not stopping his for you," Snotlout put a hand on my shoulder.

I took a deep breath as the food arrived. Once we had our dishes; I knew what I had to do. "I'm gonna take some time to focus on school and…Accepting what is. And then wherever things go from there; I guess I'll just go with it,"

"Hey, we're right here for ya," Tuffnut reminded. "You ain't the only one who wants to see Hiccup again; we all got something to say to him about taking off,"

"Yeah…No warning, no contact, nothing…We got abandoned too," Snotlout huffed.

I tried to smile a bit, but despite what I said; it still hurt. I didn't think Hiccup would be so willing to just leave and find away to not have to come back. I get needing time away after I said no, even if I said it by mistake in a moment of panic. But to stay away, get a job where you're never in one place for long? Not contacting your old friends? Not even contacting your family except more than once or twice a month? What kind of job did he have? Just some big…Corporate kind? Was he a promoter, the kind of worker always going on business trips to promote product? Maybe designer? Hiccup was always good with that kind of thing. I honestly didn't know. Hiccup never talked about what he wanted to do when he graduated. That's why I wondered why kind of job did he have that had him constantly busy and always traveling around.

I suppose there wasn't anything more I could do. Hiccup apparently went to the mainland from June to November, then onto Berserker. Who knew now? None of us had a way to contact him, so what was I supposed to do? My friends were right…Even Stoick and Valka told me the same thing. Hiccup made his choice to move on, perhaps rushed and not well thought out because of being upset. I couldn't wait around for him as much as I wanted to. If I had a guarantee he'd be coming back; I would wait. But there was no telling in this situation, so it was best for me to focus on me and move on with my life too. I prayed a day would come where Hiccup and I could meet face to face again; even if we didn't fix things between us. I looked at my food, and began to eat. My friends and I started picking up in other conversations again, catching up with other aspects of life.

Despite my decision to move on with my life; I knew I'd always care about Hiccup. We were friends before we were lovers, and Hiccup was my first love. I'd never forget him, and I'd always probably love him. Part of me at least. I wasn't sure what the future had in store for me; I always thought it would be Hiccup and I sharing our lives together. I guess that has changed, and I can't let a change in things stop me. I have school to focus on, and my job. Maybe if Hiccup came back; we could at least clear the air and try to be friends again, if nothing else, right? I had to hold onto some hope that even if our relationship was over; we wouldn't lose the friendship that brought us together. No matter what I did or where I went; Hiccup would always have a special place in my heart and life.