Jay slowly sat to the left of Hailey's hospital bed and lightly ran his fingers over her arm lying there on the mattress. An IV was sitting in her hand, but it didn't bother him like it usually might; he barely even gave it much attention. He just couldn't take his eyes off her sleeping face.

She looked bruised and beaten, but she was finally at peace. She no longer looked like she was in pain – he just hoped she was having calming dreams or none at all. She didn't need to be scared anymore.

He sniffled and gently picked up her hand to hold it closer to his lips.

"You're gonna be okay," he whispered, "We're going to figure it out, I promise you."

She didn't reply, but god did he really want her too.

He wanted to hear her say something:

"I'm okay."

"Thank you."

"Did you get him?"

Anything.

"You're going to be okay," he repeated against her skin, "Sleep for a bit, I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here."

Shakily, he reached out to touch a now clean, damp piece of hair sitting on her forehead. "You're still pretty," he breathed, "Nothing can change that. Your heart and your smile are much too bright to be dulled by some bruises." He gently twirled the strand of hair before tucking it behind her ear. Tears came to his eyes once more as he began rubbing his thumb over her forehead where her skin wasn't swollen and purple.

"I'm so sorry, Hailey, I'm so sorry I couldn't stop this from happening," he mumbled. He blinked quickly causing some of the tears to fall down. Not even bothering to wipe them away, he repeated, "I'm so sorry."

For minutes, he sat quietly mumbling his apologies: for introducing her to him, for encouraging her to keep trying, for supporting her when she had doubts, for not knocking him out the night at the bar for the snide comments and grabbing her wrist, for not going over to her house earlier.

"I should have known something was off when you didn't answer the first time," he sniffled, "You always answer. God, I'm so sorry."

Remembering the phone calls from the night before, a smile slightly passed across his face. "Now that I brought it up, I want to say thank you for the painting. That was…I had no idea you were so talented. Well, obviously I knew you were smart and talented, but painting? What the hell, Upton?" He smirked then returned to brushing his thumb over her forehead. Slowly, he found himself leaning forward with a lump in his throat. As butterflies swirled in his stomach, he closed the distance and pressed his lips to her forehead for just a moment. "I love the painting," he whispered, "And I…I lo…I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

The words were at the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't utter them. He didn't know why, he wanted to say it, but…he couldn't…something didn't feel right. So he settled on keeping his hold on her. Maybe she could feel the words through his hands.

He stayed staring at her face with his free hand squeezing her left one until his back cramped up from leaning over for so long. Just as he was straightening up, a nurse walked in the room and smiled at him.

"You must be Jay," she said while looking at the different monitors.

He blinked slowly then nodded, "Yeah, I…yeah."

She laughed softly and stopped writing down numbers to glance at him when she said, "I'm Evelyn, Hailey's nurse for tonight. Will told me you'd be here."

"Oh, oh!" Jay's eyes widened and he stood up to reach over and shake her hand as he said, "It's nice to meet you. Thank you."

She hummed then returned to what she was doing.

Jay sank back down into the chair to watch her. She didn't look like his mom at all, but something about her still seemed to be his mom. Maybe it was the energy around her or the way she held herself – he just accepted that this really was his mom's sign that Hailey was going to be okay.

"A room opened up upstairs, want to follow us on the way?" she asked.

"She…she's getting a room?" he countered.

Evelyn nodded, "She's going to be here for a few days, maybe a week, so we might as well bring her up to a room."

"Oh," Jay breathed.

While getting a room might usually be a good thing, it just told him right now that she was worse off than he'd imagined. He hadn't been kidding himself, he knew she was bad, but this just confirmed it. If doctors and nurses wanted to keep an eye on her, then there was something happening that needed to be monitored.

"You can still be there," Evelyn said, "I won't kick you out unless you overstep or get in my way."

Jay bit his lip then slowly nodded and stood up. This just confirmed that this Evelyn had embodied his mom's personality: he couldn't even think of how many times his mom had warned him to get out of her way in the kitchen or she'd kick him out.

Evelyn watched him for a moment then stepped backwards to close the curtains of the triage room. "What're you thinking right now?" she asked.

Jay glanced down at Hailey then asked, "Me?"

Evelyn sighed and nodded.

"Um…I…I'm confused," he admitted, "What're you doing?"

Evelyn spotted his nervously twitching hands and his red eyes then said softly, "Do you love this girl? Will told me you found her, so in no way do I think you did this. You're too upset to have done this to her."

Jay shook his head quickly and looked down at Hailey.

"No, you didn't do this or no, you don't love her?"

Jay licked his bottom lip then shrugged without looking up.

He of course had let the thought cross his mind, but he had never said it out-loud: he did love her just like Adam had said earlier. Now, though, he wished he had let the words cross his lips even if she hadn't heard them moments before. Hailey deserved to know that she was loved. It was more than just wanting to kiss her on his couch or wanting her to have met his mom – he needed Hailey to be okay because he loved her.

And that's when he realized why he hadn't been able to say the three words here in the hospital: he didn't ever want to lose her, but he also didn't want to put this extra pressure on her at the moment. Telling her now that he loved her would surely complicate her recovery – emotionally at least.

So he settled on that shrug. Yes, he loved her, but no, he didn't want to tell her or even risk her hearing.

"Mr. Halstead."

Stunned, he looked up at Evelyn's voice.

She softened as she continued, "She's more than just a friend and a coworker, isn't she?"

He couldn't hold back any longer and nodded.

Evelyn finally smiled again and nodded as well before saying, "But she doesn't know?"

Again, he nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Okay," she said softly, "Just wanting to make sure we're on the same page. I'll make sure she's taken care of. You can trust me."

"I know," he easily replied.

Now was her turn to appear shocked, but she didn't show it for long and just nodded once more before beginning to unhook a few of Hailey's monitors. Soon enough, another nurse entered the room and helped her prepare Hailey's bed for travel. Jay stood off to the side and watched them hook her IV to the bed before opening the door and pushing her out. He quietly followed behind them into the elevator, so he could keep track of where Hailey's new room was going to be.

The doors had just closed when Hailey stirred on the bed and mumbled in her sleep.

Jay's eyes widened and he took a step closer to her.

"Hailey, Hailey, you're okay," Evelyn said gently, "We're taking you to your new room. Just a couple more minutes."

Hailey whimpered and turned her head toward Jay then hazily opened her eyes. Her lips formed an incoherent word and her hand twitched on the bed.

"Hey," he whispered, "Stay still, okay? I'm still not leaving you."

"Jay," she breathed.

"Yeah, it's me," he said and hesitantly took a step forward to put a hand on her shoulder as her hand closest to his was in a black splint. "Right here," he added while rubbing his thumb over her gown.

Her bottom lip pouted out and immediately cracked again so that a small dot of blood formed once more on her lip. Her eyes watered and she croaked, "I'm sorry."

"No, we're not doing that," he replied and shook his head, "You don't need to apologize at all. All you need to focus on is getting better." He reached up to gently wipe the blood from her lip with his thumb. She winced, so he whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Here we are," Evelyn said once the door opened, "We'll get you settled soon enough, okay? Jay's going to stay with you and I'll get you some water."

Hailey nodded merely half an inch then closed her eyes again. However, her closed eyes didn't prevent the tears from falling down her face into her mess of hair.

Jay stepped out of the way for her bed then followed everyone down the hall to room 421. He watched from the doorway as the nurses reconnected all of Hailey's monitors and softly talked her through everything they were doing. They both left after a moment with Evelyn promising to be back in a few minutes.

The second they were out of the room, Hailey choked out a quiet sob then stifled it with her good hand.

"Hey, hey," Jay whispered and crossed the floor. He stood by her side and asked, "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry," she weakly cried, "I'm really sorry."

"No, no, don't do that," Jay shook his head, "There's nothing at all to be sorry for, remember? This is not your fault."

Hailey didn't reply and just squeezed her eyes shut again. She seemed to shudder in pain again, but stayed quiet minus a few soft sobs.

Jay frowned and didn't know what exactly to say to make her feel better, so he breathed in and lightly brushed the backs of his fingers along her cheek where there weren't any bruises. Her go-to whenever anyone would ever need any sort of comfort was putting her hand on them, so that's what he decided to do. He made sure to be gentle as if he wasn't even touching her, but it felt good to do.

She blinked her eyes open and a few more tears fell, but she remained quiet as she shifted her gaze to him.

He smiled slightly then cupped her cheek. If he thought her hand had been small earlier, her head looked tiny as well as it was cradled within his hand. He brushed his thumb along her hairline and took a deep breath. Her blue eyes that he loved so much weren't wavering from his own and she finally seemed to take her own deep breath as well.

There was a soft knock and they both looked over at Evelyn entering the room. She held up a small styrofoam cup of water and said softly, "Here's this, but it's rather late, so try and go back to sleep, okay?"

Hailey nodded slightly and looked up at Jay in a silent question.

He may have promised her he wasn't leaving, but suddenly he was nervous about what to do right now. They'd never stayed the night at each other's place, and he wasn't even sure the hospital staff would allow a friend to sleep on the couch of their newest patient.

He bit his lip and tilted his head to the side.

Evelyn glanced between the two of them then asked, "Hailey, is this the only person you would have called?"

Hailey's eyebrows raised slightly and she looked back to Evelyn to whisper, "Yes."

Evelyn nodded then stepped backwards and said, "I'll grab a blanket."

Hailey waited for her to leave before saying quietly, "You really don't have to stay." She sniffled and hesitantly wiped her eyes.

Jay shrugged then squatted down so he was closer to her head. "I'll do whatever you want."

She closed her eyes against her tears and whimpered softly.

Jay frowned and returned to lightly brush his fingers along her cheek.

Hailey finally took a pained breath and turned her head to look at him. "Please stay," she whispered, "Please."

Jay nodded. "I'll stay," he replied under his breath, "I'm not going anywhere. Well," he glanced over his shoulder at the couch and said, "I'll go there. I'm not gonna sleep here."

Hailey laughed slightly and nodded. "Thank you."

"Course," Jay breathed and rubbed his thumb just under her oxygen tube on her cheek.

Evelyn returned a moment later and couldn't hold back her smile at Hailey finally looking relaxed. She placed the blanket on the couch and said, "I'll check on you throughout the night."

"Thank you," Hailey sniffled.

Evelyn turned off the light then walked out closing the door.

Hailey blinked her eyes against more tears as she shifted slowly in the bed.

Jay straightened up and tucked her blankets around her. He tried being as gentle as possible, but his anger was returning with each soft cry Hailey stifled causing him to work very hard to slow down and not take it out on the pillows.

He was pushing the TV away from the bed when she whispered, "I didn't think he was going to hurt me."

Jay froze then slowly turned to face her.

She sniffled again and continued, "He was waiting for me and-and I thought…I thought we could just talk it out, but-but…"

"Hey, no, no, it's okay," Jay whispered and returned to her side. He placed his hand on the top of her head and said, "We don't have to talk about it right now. In fact, I don't want to. I just want you to get some sleep."

"But he left," Hailey said, her voice cracking, "What if he's looking for me?"

"He's not," Jay said sternly, "Adam was here before I saw you and he got a call that Kim and Kevin found him. They took him to the district. He's not looking for you. He can't."

Hailey stared in his eyes then stiffly nodded as more tears fell down her cheeks.

"You're safe," Jay whispered.

Hailey closed her eyes then whispered back, "Thank you."

Jay nodded and brushed his thumb over her forehead.

She leaned into his touch and slowly took a few steadying breaths; however, her lip soon began wavering and she admitted, "I froze. He…he hit me and I froze. I don't know what happened, b-but I couldn't do a-anything. It was like I was m-my mom." Her voice cracked and a sudden sob painfully ripped through her.

Frowning, Jay shook his head. His heart was now completely broken because he knew this was her greatest fear. It wasn't a spider he could squash, it wasn't a movie he could hold her hand through, it was real life and maybe even PTSD. This fear wasn't ever going to go away.

All he could think to do was to tell her the truth because the truth and reality is what always settled his fears when he got stuck in his head.

Taking a deep breath, he squatted down again and said, "You are strong, but you have a dark past that sometimes creeps up on you. I've been there and I'm here to tell you this moment does not define you. How you reacted, I'm sure it's normal. You had a relationship with him. None of us could have predicted what you would do to him if this were to happen, but none of us are blaming you or even judging you. We are just all here for you and will support you no matter what. Especially me."

Hailey sniffled and fluttered her eyes open to look up at him. Through a few more tears, she whispered, "Thank you."

Jay nodded and gently dragged his fingers through her hair. "Try to relax and go to sleep. Go back to sleep," he said softly.

Hailey sucked in a slow breath through her nose before nodding while holding his eye contact. She reached over to grab his free hand on the mattress and said, "Goodnight."

He smiled at her and tilted his head to the side. "Night, Hailey." He slowly stood up and gave one last brush through her hair before going over to the couch. He sat on it and folded his hands together as he watched her settle in the bed. She took a few deep breaths then fell asleep within five minutes. Her face remained looking pained, but at least she'd stopped shifting around and wasn't crying anymore.

Sitting there staring at her, he finally let the anger that had been bubbling within him boil over in his own tears. They felt hot against his cheeks, but he didn't stop them.

Hailey just looked so broken. Her wrist in that damn brace and the bruises on her perfect face and the few patches of dried blood on the side of her head they couldn't get…she didn't look like herself. He knew deep down she was still his Hailey – still strong and determined and confident – but a man – a disgusting, weak man – took that from her.

However, he needed to remind himself that this was going to be temporary. He didn't know how long this pain was going to last, but he was determined to make sure it was temporary. He wasn't going to let that man destroy Hailey forever.

The door slowly opened and Evelyn stepped inside quietly. She held out a pillow for him and whispered, "Look what I found."

Jay wiped the tears from his face before reaching out to grab it and say, "Thank you."

Evelyn watched him set it on the end of the couch then said, "She's not broken. She's going to be okay."

Jay's head snapped up to look at her. It was as if she could read his mind.

Evelyn nodded in understanding. "Women are more resilient than you may think. It's going to be tough, but this isn't a break – it's a bruise, maybe even a sprain, but definitely not a break," she said softly, "Give her time and support her even when she pushes you away. You love her; make sure she can feel that."

"Thank you," Jay breathed.

Evelyn nodded again then pointed to the button on the wall. "Press it if you need anything," she said before walking out and closing the door behind her.

Jay slowly breathed in and rubbed at his face. Once he kicked off his tennis shoes, he turned to lay on his side while keeping his eyes on Hailey. For fear that something would happen to her or she'd even start crying again, he couldn't look away.

Soon enough, his eyes became heavy and he fell into a much-needed sleep.


Jay woke to the sound of the toilet flushing in the hospital room. He blinked his eyes open and couldn't help but groan as he sat up on the couch.

Part of him wished last night was just some nightmare, but the pain in his neck and back proved otherwise.

Hailey slowly stepped out of the bathroom dragging along her IV pole. She noticed he was awake and whispered, "Hi."

"Hey." He cleared his throat and pushed the blanket off of him.

She stood there in her hospital gown and awkwardly rubbed her good hand over her opposite arm.

"Feeling okay?" he quietly asked.

Hailey snorted a soft laugh then walked over to gingerly sit next to him on the couch. "I don't know," she breathed with a shrug, "Honestly, I am incredibly angry and I hate myself."

"Don't," Jay replied swiftly. He met her eyes before placing a hand on her knee. He squeezed it softly and said, "This isn't on you."

Tears quickly formed in the corners of her eyes and her lips pursed. She stared down at her shaking hands in her lap and whispered, "I'm a cop who grew up in an abusive home. I should have seen this coming."

"Don't do that to yourself," Jay said, "It won't do you any good."

She blinked quickly causing a couple loose tears to fall. She hastily wiped them away then asked, "Can we just talk about it later? It…I need to focus on what the hell I'm doing right now. I don't even remember much about last night. You brought me here, right? And-And there was Natalie and Will and then…why is it blurry?"

"I think they put you on some strong pain meds," he explained.

Hailey nodded and frowned. She brushed her hand over her hair then winced.

"Careful of the staples," Jay said quietly.

She squeezed her eyes shut in pain. Under her breath, she said, "He hit me with my gun."

"Hailey," he whispered as the anger from the night before began forming again.

"God," she blinked her eyes open against more tears then pushed off the couch. Carefully making her way across the room back to her bed, she clumsily climbed into it. The frown on Jay's face deepened at the sight of scattered bruises across her back; he didn't even want to think about how they got there.

There was a soft knock on the door before Will walked in with a tray of food. "Hey," he said quietly and tried to smile, "I brought you some oatmeal."

"Do doctors usually bring patients food?" Hailey asked with one last wipe to her eyes.

Will chuckled, "Only when they're important people."

"You're gonna blow up her ego," Jay teased softly. Hailey smiled at him and he thought she briefly looked like herself. "Bring me anything?" he asked.

"No." Will smirked while placing the tray on Hailey's side table. He looked at her and, while pulling a pair of gloves on, asked, "Mind if I check you out? I'll keep it shoulders up; I mostly want to check those staples."

Hailey let out a long sigh then said, "Why not?"

Will gently turn her chin to get a better look at the staples in her head. "Did you notice I didn't have to shave your head?" he said, "I was pretty proud of myself."

"Lost my dignity, but kept my hair," Hailey mumbled.

"I'd disagree," Will said.

Jay nodded, but the words he wanted to say got stuck in his throat. All he could do was watch his brother quickly, but assumingly efficiently, examine Hailey's bruising.

"Dignity's about respect and honor," Will continued, "I do respect you. I think you are strong and brave, especially since you deal with my brother every day."

Hailey tried to smile, yet it easily faded as he stepped back and softly turned her face toward him to look at her eyes. His fingers lightly traced along the edge of the bruising near her jaw and he asked, "How's that feel?"

"Tight," she quietly answered.

Will nodded and stepped away to look at a chart and her IV. "You want more morphine?" he asked.

"Not at all," Hailey sighed.

Jay raised an eyebrow and finally spoke up: "Why?"

"I'm fine," she gritted out, "I just want to get better. I don't want the medicine to hold me back."

"It wouldn't," Will said, "It'll at least help you relax and then you can focus on getting better."

"I don't want it, just give me some pills," Hailey snapped.

Before either Will or Jay could reply, there was a knock on the door and Kim poked her head in the room and said, "Hello? Is she awake?"

Jay glanced at Hailey settling back in bed. Her face winced in pain and she seemed to gasp for breath, but she still nodded at him once she was settled.

"Hey," he said, "Yeah, you can come in."

Kim pushed the door open further and stepped in with Adam and Kevin behind her. Adam nodded at Jay and set the gym bag from his locker near the couch. Stress and anger was evident on his face that was, not surprisingly, mirrored on Kevin's. Kim seemed better at hiding any anger as she crossed the room and held out a brown paper bag to Hailey.

"I picked you up some loukoumades and," she paused to hold up a Target bag, "I hope you don't mind, but I thought you might like a robe and some comfy pajamas. I'm more than willing to return it or even go to your place and find some of your own clothes."

Hailey smiled slightly and accepted the brown bag. "Thank you," she said softly, "I really appreciate it. I'll put those clothes on after I shower. Do you think you could help me wash my hair? I noticed that it's…" She trailed off, but everyone knew what she meant – it was still matted with blood the nurses couldn't get out.

Will broke the tension by jokingly scoffing, "I brought her oatmeal."

Kim laughed and lightly sat on the edge of the bed. "Sorry," she shrugged, "I like her more."

Kevin stepped over and exchanged a sad look with Hailey before hugging her to his side.

Adam sat next to Jay and muttered, "Sleep here then?"

"Yeah," Jay breathed and rubbed his face.

"I'll get you a coffee later," Adam replied.

Jay nodded and let out a quiet sigh.

"You need to write a statement," Adam continued quietly, "We've got him, but he's…he's not talking – asking for a lawyer."

Jay's heart dropped.

There was no way, no way, Tarik could fight this. They all knew it was him. There was no doubt he had to have Hailey's DNA on him. He couldn't do it. He couldn't fight this.

His eyes flickered to Hailey quietly eating loukoumades with Kevin and Will as Kim held up the pajamas she'd bought.

She was going to have to turn him in. Jay couldn't imagine a world where she let this go, but…part of him was worried she'd be so upset at herself that she wouldn't want to go public. She'd already made that comment about having no dignity. He could almost see her fighting him about pressing charges in a day or two.

Over his dead body would he let that happen.

"I want to talk to him," Jay hissed, "You go back and get a head start. You put him in that damn cage in the garage and I'll be there."

"Jay," Adam whispered and shook his head, "Trust me, I've tried, but Platt's all over this one. She said we're not losing it for Hailey. Hailey deserves a good, clean case."

"She deserves justice and if that asshole-"

"You're really not gonna talk to me?"

They looked up at Hailey's quiet voice. She had a slight smirk on her face as her eyes were trained on Adam.

"Course I will," Adam relaxed and smiled. He pushed off the couch to walk over and gently hug her. Dropping a soft kiss to her head, he shot Jay a glare.

It was small, but it was clear as to what he was implying. Jay knew that if Adam had to settle down, he was going to have to follow his example.

It was a year ago this week when he completely lost his mind over his dad's death. He knew his attitude had upset Hailey, and he'd even said some pretty nasty comments to her. He didn't want that same attitude to return; he couldn't lose her like he almost did before. His dad's temper that lived within him flared last year, and there was no doubt it could easily return today.

Will glanced over at him and nodded his head toward the gym bag Adam had brought and then to the bathroom.

Jay took a deep breath and nodded. Standing, he shot one last weak smile to Hailey then grabbed the bag and walked into the bathroom.

Dropping the bag to the floor, he leaned against the sink and took a deep breath. After a moment, he turned on the water and splashed it on his face. It seemed to wake him up, so he did it again and again…and again.

His chest tightened and the rock formed in his throat again.

She was going to be okay. He had to keep telling himself that. She wasn't going to crumble. She was going to be fine. Now, it wasn't just the two of them and Will – their friends were there. She could lean on more people besides just him. A bigger support group was always a good option.

His eyes burned as he stared at the water pouring from the sink.

Her wrist was still wrapped up. Will suggested morphine. She just wanted pills. She had staples in her hair. Her hair that was still slightly bloody. She asked Kim to help her clean up more. There were bruises on her back.

He started shaking and yanked his t-shirt off.

She was going to be okay. That was the only option. If she wasn't okay…he didn't know what he was going to do.

He threw more water on his face and gasped. He sputtered as he breathed it in then returned to leaning against the sink.

There was a soft knock on the door and Will said, "You good?"

Jay coughed and wiped the water from his face before saying, "Yup. Give me five."

He bent down to dig through his bag. Quickly finding his spare toothbrush, he brushed his teeth then pulled on the fresh clothes Adam had brought him. Giving himself one last once over in the mirror, he stepped back into the room to see everyone still near Hailey, but now she looked angry and near tears.

"What's happening?" he whispered.

"I think everyone should leave," Will said while stepping forward with his hands out between Hailey and Kim.

"I'm fine," Hailey breathed.

"We just want to make sure we get him," Kim said gently.

"I don't want to talk about it," Hailey hissed, "There's no way you can't have this. I'm telling you that he is the one who did this, that should be enough."

"I think Will's right," Adam said then tried joking, "First time ever, huh?"

"We should go," Kevin nodded.

Jay breathed in and watched Kim slowly step away. She slightly waved at Hailey then followed Adam and Kevin from the room.

He stepped forward, but Hailey turned away from him on her bed. She sucked in a breath of supposedly pain and weakly tugged at the blanket.

"Hailey," he said softly.

"Thank you for what you did, but I'm pretty tired," she mumbled.

Jay slightly shook his head and finished walking toward her. With her back to him, he couldn't see her face, but based on the way her shoulders were tensing, he assumed she was crying.

"Hailey," he repeated and lightly placed his hand on her back.

She winced and curled up further.

Jay hesitantly pulled his hand back and glanced over at Will who slowly shook his head and mouthed, 'I'm sorry.' He shakily breathed in before backing away. Keeping his eyes on her, he picked up his bag again and reluctantly walked out of the room.

His mind felt blank as he made his way down the elevator and out of the hospital. His car was still sloppily parked where he'd left it the night before, and he unlocked it to hop in.

Putting his hands on the steering wheel, he groaned and closed his eyes not knowing what to do. His gut told him to run back inside to Hailey, but he knew she wouldn't like that. She wanted to be alone and he needed to accept that.

He could go home and take a proper shower to reset for the day. The cold water on his face was only going to go so far. At home, he had coffee and that could certainly help.

Opening his eyes, he spotted Hailey's hair tie still on his wrist and suddenly it was all he could see.

He threw the car in reverse and made his way out of the parking lot with one goal in life.


Cars flew past him on the road, or at least appeared that way. Jay didn't know how fast he was going, but it wasn't anywhere near fast enough.

He didn't even have time to lock the truck once he was parked. He just ran through the garage immediately noticing that he wasn't where he'd asked Adam to put him.

The hair tie around his wrist drove him forward up the stairs until he reached the bullpen. Everyone – Kim, Adam, Kevin, Voight, and even Trudy – was standing in the middle of the room and looked up at his footsteps and panting breath.

"Where is he?" Jay asked.

"In interrogation," Kim answered quietly.

Jay gave her a stiff nod then moved to turn down the hallway only for Kevin to shoot forward and grab his arm.

"You shouldn't go down there," he said.

Jay shook him off and argued, "I need to talk to him."

"You need to go home," Voight corrected.

Jay glared at him and snapped, "I need this."

"Jay, go cool off," Trudy tried.

He ignored her and turned on is heel to walk down the hallway. He could hear everyone quickly following him, but it soon faded into a buzz.

He needed this. He needed to see Tarik. He needed to look him in the eye and let out every piece of anger he had onto this piece of dirt.

The door opened without him even realizing he had turned the knob.

Tarik looked up and began to say, "Jay-"

But then he was on the floor.

Nothing registered in Jay's mind as his fist connected over and over with his face.

"Halstead!"

"Jay, stop!"

"Get him out of here."

"Hey, hey!"

The scraping of the table and chairs sounded like nails on a chalkboard, but was the first thing to register in Jay's head.

Next were the hands pulling at his arms so he was shoved backwards on the floor.

Finally were the bright lights in the hallway once Kevin had dragged him outside.

Kim snapped the door closed and yelled, "What the hell are you doing?"

Jay caught his breath then scrambled to his feet. He glanced between her and Kevin, wiped his mouth, and walked away.

His knuckles stung, but he ignored it as he made his way to the locker room. In there, he stood in the middle of the room for a moment before spinning around and smacking his palm to one of the lockers. He could hear something crash inside then kicked it hard.

Still fighting to catch his breath, he sat on a bench and put his head in his hands.

He couldn't get Hailey out of his mind: her bruises, her blood, her tears. It was overwhelming. He wished he could take away all of the pain, but there was only so much he could do.

He didn't even know how she'd react to what he had just done. A part of him even regretted how he'd just lost his temper, but…it felt so damn good: watching Tarik cower in pain had been pretty satisfying.

The locker room door opened and Jay closed his eyes anticipating Voight yelling at him.

"You need to control your anger and understand that that was not helpful."

Jay's eyes shot open at Trudy's voice. He looked up to see her standing in front of him with her arms crossed.

"You're pissed off, I get it, but this is not the answer," she continued.

Jay swallowed a lump in his throat and nodded.

Trudy sat next to him with a deep breath. "Trust me, I want to do the exact same thing," she said quietly, "That…person, he is not a man…is very much worth a solid knock to the face. You did good. I probably would have gone for the gut as well, but his face was a good start."

Jay chuckled and returned his head to his hands.

"But we need to do everything by the book," Trudy sighed, "We need to respect Hailey and nail this case. We cannot lose it. Thank god the camera in there is acting up and currently not working."

Jay glanced up at her and breathed, "What?"

Trudy shrugged and said, "A shame that Voight and Adam have had to take it apart. I'll order a new one."

A smile tugged at Jay's lips, but he managed to hide it and nod. "Thank you," he whispered.

Trudy nodded and breathed in again. She waited a beat before saying, "You're off the case. I think that goes without saying, correct?"

Jay's face fell as he said, "That's not fair."

Trudy shook her head. "It is," she replied, "What just happened upstairs is the exact reason as to why. We cannot have you ruin this for us. I get where your heart is at, but that was too far."

Jay closed his eyes and mumbled, "Fine."

Trudy nodded again. She sighed and pursed her lips. "How is she?" she asked.

Angry.

Upset.

In pain.

Scared.

There were too many options for Jay to say, so he just shrugged and pressed his palms into his eyes.

"I think I'm going to go tonight," Trudy continued, "Have you called her parents?" Jay shook his head, so she nodded. "I'll ask her what she wants," she said quietly, "I'll take care of it."

Jay still couldn't talk. Hailey hadn't seemed like she wanted any more visitors. She'd literally turned her back on them. How was he supposed to work with that?

"Take five, then I have a case with some rookies that are annoying me for you to take," Trudy said. She patted his thigh then walked away leaving him in the quiet of the locker room.

He could hear a shower in the back softly dripping onto the tile. The constant noise was starting to get on his nerves, but it gave him something to focus on besides Hailey. Not knowing what exactly to do and still feeling stuck in place, he began counting each drip. It was a slow process, but it distracted him.

Once he hit 200, he pushed off the bench, wiped his hands over his face, and made his way upstairs to see what Trudy needed.


~ How're you doing? ~

~ Trudy's got me overseeing some new guys and a robbery case. Need a distraction? ~

~ Is Will annoying you yet? ~

~ Can we talk? ~

~ I'm worried about you ~

~ What's up? ~

~ So work is boring, but Kim brought us donuts today. I actually had two. You'd be proud ~

~ Mind if I stop by after work? ~

~ Finally closed your case. Call me? ~

~ It's been three days. What's going on? ~

~ Will won't tell me anything, please Hailey ~

Jay stared at his ceiling and wished Hailey would answer him. Three full days of not hearing from her at all. He didn't know what was going on; it was driving him crazy. Will kept him in the dark and kept pulling the 'doctor-patient confidentiality' card even though Jay knew he wasn't actually Hailey's doctor.

He didn't know why she was keeping him in the dark. Maybe he'd gone overboard with all the texts, but he needed to know what was going on. He just kept hoping that one of them would be the one that she would reply to.

The past few nights had been hell. He'd take sleeping on that crappy hospital couch listening to Hailey's monitors over his own bed these days at the drop of a hat. Nothing he did could really turn off his racing mind.

It was carrying over into work. While Hailey's case with Tarik had been successfully sent to the lawyers and their chances that he'd be charged guilty were high, Trudy was keeping him working with patrol. It became tedious work and he was mostly fine with it because it kept his mind mostly off of Hailey, but he did almost fall asleep at his desk today while checking their paperwork. Kim had silently passed him a large mug of coffee which he thanked her for, yet it still felt useless. He was just so tried and so stressed that nothing was working.

The only people Hailey was even talking to were Trudy and Kim. Most of the time, they wouldn't give him any information and just tell him to keep working on his own stuff, but when they did tell him little bits of information, it was very brief and barely enough to satisfy his need to know everything.

"She's probably going to have to stay a little longer."

"Yes, she ate a turkey sandwich and some chips."

"They did an x-ray this morning now that the swelling was down."

"Why do you need to know her bathing schedule?"

He rolled over on his bed and grabbed his phone off his bedside table to check his texts. Not that he was surprised, but Hailey still hadn't replied to his last message. He tried telling himself that she was asleep, it was pushing 10pm, so he just groaned and flipped his phone over before pressing his face into the pillow.

He was half-asleep when a soft bell broke through his haze. Blinking his eyes and sucking in a quick breath, he sat up to grab his phone.

~ I need surgery. Can you come tomorrow? I'll start getting prepped at 7 ~ Hailey Upton

Jay had more questions than not, but he ignored them all to reply:

~ Of course. Be there at 6:30? ~

~ Thank you ~ Hailey Upton

Jay closed his eyes and squeezed his phone tightly. Suddenly he felt like could breathe properly. While he didn't like that she needed surgery, she was at least talking to him. It eased his nerves enough that he was finally able to sleep.


Getting the day off had been easy. What wasn't easy was making the walk up to Hailey's room the next morning.

Jay didn't know what he was going to find. He hadn't seen any pictures of her – Voight had kept everything away from him as everyone else worked the case. Trudy kept it all very under wraps as she stuck to her deal to keep him away from it all.

"Jay, hi."

He turned to his left to see the nurse from the other day, Evelyn, sitting behind the desk.

"Hi," he said quietly and walked over to her.

"Here to see Hailey?" Evelyn asked.

Jay nodded and ran a hand over his hair.

"I'm very glad she finally called you," Evelyn said, "Be gentle with her? She's been in a…dark place lately."

"Yeah, yeah, of course."

"I'll be here till eight if you need me. I'll also be the one to help prep her, so I'll see you soon."

Jay nodded again and stepped away from the desk. "Thank you," he said with a slight wave before walking the short distance to Hailey's room. Taking a deep breath, he softly knocked on the door.

"Jay?"

He smiled and cracked the door open to whisper, "Hailey?"

There was a soft shuffling noise before the lights were flicked on. Jay looked across the room to see Hailey slowly moving her bed into the sitting position.

Like the other day, she was still very bruised and back in a hospital gown, but at least now she had a tiny smile on her face. Unfortunately, it faded quickly as she stared at Jay once again in her room.

"I'm so sorry," she breathed. She blinked against tears forming in her eyes and her bottom lip began to waver.

"Hey, no, don't do that," he said and shut the door before quickly crossing the room, "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I kept you in the dark," she said with a hard swallow in her throat, "You've been trying to reach out and-and I've been…" She blushed and looked down at her hands one of which was still held in a black brace.

"You've been going through a lot," he said as he hesitantly sat on the edge of her mattress, "I'm not mad. I'm the one who's sorry for bombarding you. I probably looked like a crazy person."

Hailey weakly laughed and glanced up at him. "I don't blame you," she sniffled, "I was just so angry. How could this happen to me? I feel like such an idiot."

"Not an idiot," Jay whispered, "Never an idiot."

Hailey wiped her eyes and shrugged. "And now I have to have this surgery on m-my wrist and it needs damn pins and…how did this happen?" she continued.

"Hey," Jay breathed and scooted closer to her. She looked up with tears in her eyes and he couldn't hold back anymore. Ignoring anything in his gut telling him to stay where he was, he reached forward to wipe away the unshed tears with his thumb. He brushed against her skin once, twice, three times before he closed the distance and hugged her to his chest.

Hailey gratefully leaned into him and sucked in a breath as her good hand came up to grip the back of his shirt.

He gently rocked her back and forth for a moment while carefully rubbing her back over her hospital gown. "We're going to get through this," he whispered, "I promise you. I'm not going anywhere, Hailey, really, I'm not."

She sniffled and replied quietly, "I believe you."

"Good," Jay said easily, "I'm glad." He closed his eyes and gently squeezed her to him.

They sat holding each other for longer than either probably imagined they would, but it felt good. It felt so good that Jay couldn't imagine saying anything to break the silence. He had Hailey in his arms for the second time within four days and she wasn't crying and he wasn't scared for her life. They just fit together with the promise that everything was going to be okay. It might take some time for it to be finalized, but it was starting to happen and that was good enough.


Jay stayed the entire morning as Hailey was first prepped for surgery. He quietly reassured her sudden fears that nothing was going to go wrong with the anesthesia mixing with any pain medicine she'd been on the past few days. That turned into holding back laughter as the new medicine sank in and she began whispering repeated questions about getting a waffle for breakfast and if he'd seen Will that morning.

Soon enough, he was alone in the room waiting for the surgery to be done. He absentmindedly scrolled through his phone, but it couldn't distract him from wondering if Hailey's fear had been right and that something would happen to her while she was asleep.

Almost two hours into his waiting, a nurse walked into to the room. She placed a cup of ice on the side table, glanced at Jay, and said, "She was just brought into recovery. It shouldn't be long now. Everything went really well."

He let out a breath and relaxed into the couch. "Thank you," he said.

She nodded and crossed her arms before saying, "Do you really not remember me?"

Jay blinked a couple times to focus on her and then quickly sat up. "Coral," he said quickly, "Hi."

She laughed softly and said, "Hi. How're you?"

"I…I'm good, thanks, you?"

"Doing well also."

Jay slowly nodded then glanced to the door, "You said she's okay?"

"Um, yeah," Coral cleared her throat and dropped her arms, "She's actually asking for you."

"Oh," Jay smiled slightly, "Thanks."

Coral nodded then gestured toward the door, "I'll go see if I can bring her back."

Jay said nothing as she walked away before groaning quietly and running his hands over his face. He really didn't want to see Coral again after that one night, but he especially didn't want to see her today now that Hailey was talking to him again and beginning her recovery. She had been meant to be a rebound 'gift' from Will, and yet he didn't think he needed a rebound anymore.

Hailey was brought back into the room a few minutes later by Coral and a male nurse. She sleepily looked at him and said something he couldn't quite make out.

"She'll be a little out of it for a bit," Coral explained as she locked Hailey's bed into place, "The doctor will also be in here in a few to explain to you what exactly he did."

"Thank you," Jay said and walked over to Hailey. He ran his hand over her hair and whispered, "You awake yet?"

She groaned and her hand not wrapped in a black cast twitched on her bed.

"You can give her that ice for now, but I'll bring a menu in in a bit once she's more stable and you can order her some lunch," Coral said without looking at Jay.

He didn't notice, though, and continued quietly whispering to Hailey as she came to.

Coral couldn't help but smile slightly at him before she walked out of the room with the other nurse.

"Thirsty?" he whispered.

Hailey nodded and parted her lips slightly.

Jay chuckled and grabbed the cup of ice. "Yeah? Can't do it on your own?" he teased.

"I'm injured," Hailey croaked.

Jay smiled at her then slipped a piece of ice in her mouth. He held her eye contact as she sucked on it before handing her a couple more pieces. After a minute, Hailey's eyes drifted away and to his wrist. She reached up to grab his hand and said, "What's this?"

He glanced down and spotted her hair tie still wrapped around him. "Oh," he said as he cheeks flushed, "Sorry. You left it in my truck and-"

"Keep it," Hailey croaked and managed a smile, "I like that you have it."

"Good," Jay said and smiled back, "Now come on, let's wake you up a bit so you can eat. You've got to be starving."

"I do want a waffle," Hailey mumbled before he tipped another piece of ice into her mouth.

Jay laughed, "You don't say?"

Hailey nodded and sucked on her ice-cube.

Tipping his head to the side, Jay smiled as she happily sank into the bed and finally seemed relaxed. He knew it was largely due to the medicine she was on, but it felt good to see her happy.

She was on her way…

To recovery.

To smiling more.

To him.


A/N: Happy Monday! Leaving you on a happy note for the week :) As always, thank you so so much for all your support as I've written this story. I've been having a lot of fun and I'm so happy so many of you have enjoyed it as well. Have a great week!