A/N: Hi hi! Last chapter was a lot of fun to write, so I'm very happy you all enjoyed it. This one's fun in a new way? Let me know your thoughts and enjoy your week!
Growing up, Jay hated sharing a room with Will. He snored when he was sleeping, and was studying late into the night when he wasn't. They got along decently well during the day – he really did consider Will a good friend while growing up – but the second their mom said 'goodnight' and shut off the lights…suddenly he couldn't stand him.
And then he joined the army and got used to sharing a room with way more people than just one. Snoring no longer bothered him. He even grew accustomed to the dreaded nose whistle. It sucked, but it was his only option, so it had to do.
Once back in Chicago and in his own apartment, it actually felt weird to have silence at night. He had a hard time falling asleep. The PTSD made it difficult too, but just imagining what could come in the silence was more than enough to mess with his sleep schedule. It wasn't until he dragged himself to a couple group therapy sessions that he bought a sound machine upon recommendation from two other vets. He was surprised the white noise helped him fall asleep, but was also incredibly grateful.
He did one undercover stint when he first joined the Organized Crime unit that required him to stay in a UC apartment for three weeks. While it took him a few days to get used to falling asleep without the white noise, by the time he returned home, he no longer needed the sound machine. It felt like some weird blessing in disguise since he'd been worried what he'd have to do if he ever got married.
When Hailey moved in, he got used to hearing her breathe at night. He welcomed the soft noise. It helped lull him into his own sleep and reminded him of his old sound machine. So on the second night without her warm body in bed, he dragged himself from the mattress to search his closet for it.
Moving her out had been a breeze. Everyone stepped in to help, and even Trudy showed up around seven with a pizza. As hard as it was to leave the apartment that night, he knew Hailey was going to be okay. She was where she needed to be now.
It helped that she texted him about ten minutes after he left thanking him for everything he'd done that day. They then stayed up until close to two in the morning texting each other about anything under the sun. Being the second night in a row of staying up crazy late together, though, he had a feeling they both passed out around the same time.
However, it was that second night that caused him to toss and turn for hours. Hailey hadn't texted him a goodnight as they had texted the majority of the day with it being a slow day at work, so he didn't really know where she stood. He knew in his gut she was fine, but his mind was in overdrive worrying about her.
Having the white noise on for ten minutes helped immediately, and he was finally able to sleep.
The sleep hit Jay so hard that his alarm truly startled him awake. For the entire morning as he brushed his teeth, ate breakfast, and drove to work, he couldn't seem to really get going. His body felt like it was dragging along despite the two cups of coffee he had before 8am.
"You're looking rough," Kevin commented as he walked into the break room where Jay was starting a pot of coffee.
He tried to laugh through a yawn before saying, "Finally got a decent night's sleep, but now I really can't seem to wake up."
"Ah," Kevin hummed and grabbed two mugs from the shelf, "Were you worried about Hailey before?"
Jay rolled his eyes, but still quietly admitted, "Worried more last night actually. We…we stayed up pretty late the night before talking."
"Thought you left when we did," Kevin said.
"I did," Jay breathed with a glance over Kevin's shoulder at Vanessa and Kim now walking into the bullpen, "But then she texted me saying thank you for all the help and it went from there."
"Thank you for all the help?" Kevin repeated, "You're joking me."
"I'd show you my phone, but I'm not breaking her privacy," Jay said with a slight smirk.
"You're an idiot, truly," Kevin stated as he quickly grabbed the pot of coffee and filled both mugs, "Breaking her privacy? Please. You didn't do a damn thing the other day. Ruze and I were the ones who carried up her mattress. Now that was a pain in the ass."
Jay rolled his eyes and mumbled, "Fine, whatever. Fair enough."
"Mhmm." Kevin took a long sip of coffee then asked, "How is she, though? Doing okay on her own?"
"Yeah," Jay said with a nod, "She's good. I haven't gone up to visit yet, but-"
"Yet?" Kevin chuckled, "You just lived with her for a few weeks, now you're going to visit her two days after she moves out?"
"I…" Jay trailed off and shrugged. Taking a large gulp of coffee, he debated his words before saying, "Yeah. I liked living with her."
Kevin smirked and nodded. "Bet you did," he said quietly, "You still like her, don't you?"
Jay blushed slightly then shrugged again. He turned to walk away with his coffee, but Kevin grabbed his arm.
"Like we've said, give her time," he whispered, "I don't want her to get hurt, but I don't want you hurt either. She needs to get better and work on herself. You deserve someone who's one hundred percent focused on you."
Jay hesitated then said, "Who made you a relationship expert?"
"Jay, I'm telling you," Kevin sighed, "Slow down. She just moved out. Give her time. You need time too. Seeing her like that messed you up. We've all talked about it, and we think-"
"You've all talked about me?" Jay interrupted, "You three talk about me? Do you include Rojas too? The four of you have little meetings to discuss my feelings?"
"Hey, slow down," Kevin said as his voice got louder, "You're tired. No one is saying anything bad about you. We're worried about you. Seeing Hailey beat up and broken-"
"She's not broken," Jay snapped, "She never was. She's strong and is bouncing back from this."
"I know," Kevin said slowly, "But seeing her all bloody like that affected you, you can't deny that. It affected all of us. It's not easy seeing each other like that. You need time."
"I need to get to work," Jay said. He didn't wait for an answer and just returned to his desk.
Sitting down, he felt like his face was burning. There was something about others telling him what to do regarding Hailey that just pissed him off. Without a doubt, he knew he needed to give Hailey space, but for Kevin to say that and make the assumption that he was negatively affected by what had happened too seemed out of line. He was fine. Everything was fine.
Work had felt normal and like it would be an easy day until a young girl wandered into the district very confused and very hurt. Trudy had initially talked with the young blonde thinking she'd run away from home, but her short conversation with the eleven year-old seemed to point toward the idea that more was going on than just an abusive home; however, the girl had reached her limit and Trudy needed more help than one person she could give.
Kim automatically stepped up in the case and tried talking with the girl as she and Vanessa took her to the hospital. Jay had watched them leave wondering what it'd be like had Hailey been there. He frequently wondered what Hailey would do in any work situation, but here was a little blonde girl with handprints around her neck and he knew it'd hit Hailey differently.
In fact, it seemed to hit him differently. He suddenly was no longer in a sleepy daze from his intense sleep and instead was putting everything he had into trying to help this girl – Hannah.
Like Hailey, Hannah was blonde and rather small looking. Her eyes were brown, but Jay gave her one look before she was whisked away and he knew they were once full of life like Hailey's. She had this small nose that turned red when she began crying giving her a look eerily similar to the one Jay had seen one too many times in the last few weeks.
It pained him to see it once more.
He poured himself into all the pod footage he could find of this girl walking to the district. She'd come around lunch time when the streets happened to be rather busy, so it wasn't the easiest, but it gave him a purpose and he refused to stop even when Adam slid a chunk of a sub in front of him.
He had still ignored the sandwich close to forty-five minutes later when Adam nudged him and said, "You need to eat that."
"What?" he mumbled without looking up.
"Eat," Adam said and tapped his desk, "No skipping meals, remember? If we can't get out there just yet, you need to eat and prep for when we are."
Kevin looked up from his own computer and added, "Have you even had anything to eat since breakfast? Or has it just been coffee?"
"Uh, coffee." Jay's eyes flickered from the screen to the long forgotten mug next to him. It had long gone cold, and was merely a reminder of how out of it he felt that morning.
"Then you need food," Adam pushed, "Come on."
However, Voight then walked up into the bullpen and announced, "Kim just called. This isn't an abuse case. We're looking at kidnapping and possible murder. Hannah had a panic attack before she could continue, and the girls were asked to leave."
Hailey's panic attack in Jay's car flashed through his mind causing him to wince. It had been so loud as she gasped for breath and tried to calm down. She'd been in so much pain that it'd hurt him as well. No one ever deserved to feel that, especially not after surviving some sort of beating.
"Do we have any names or real addresses to go on?" he asked through gritted teeth.
Voight nodded and said, "Someone named Rick. He's tall, has a beard, and drives a silver van. She's not sure what color hair he has because he always wears a hat."
Jay clenched his fist on his desk and stiffly nodded.
Across the bullpen, Kevin stared at him and seemed to know what was going through his mind.
The case had changed from something Jay had wanted to solve to something he needed to solve. He hadn't been allowed to touch Hailey's case, but this one with the little blonde girl and the man named Rick…this case he could have.
Standing up, he said, "I want to talk to her."
"That's not happening, you're staying here," Voight said, "We need to figure out where she came from, who this Rick is, and who else he hurt."
Jay stared at him until Adam put a hand on his shoulder and whispered, "You've got to be close, right?"
Glancing down at the computer screen where a video of Hannah walking through the park was frozen, he nodded.
"Then finish it up and eat," Adam said with a light shove so that Jay was pushed back into his desk chair, "I'll start looking at the sex offender list, Kev can go through silver vans."
Kevin nodded and held Jay's eye contact as he added, "We'll do what we can now. Kim and Vanessa can keep talking to her later."
Jay shook his head, but went back to speeding through any footage he had access to. With another nudge from Adam, he sighed and took a big bite of the sub that had been placed in front of him. His nose scrunched at the excessive amount of mayo soaking into the bread, but he continued eating it as he realized he really was hungry.
When he found Hannah's starting point ten minutes later, he waved Kevin, Adam, and Voight over to trace back her path. To all their surprise, Hannah had walked close to four miles before getting to the district. She'd even passed a fire station on the way, so she'd clearly had something in mind that led her to the 21st.
"We're going, right?" Jay asked as he stood up.
"I'll get Trudy to get a warrant," Voight said while walking out.
Jay nodded and hurried in the opposite direction toward the back stairs.
"Hey, Halstead!" Kevin called out.
"You're really leaving without us?" Adam yelled.
Jay ignored them and pushed through the door.
All he could think of was Hailey and how he'd felt that night after the phone call that told him she was in trouble. So much adrenaline had rushed through his veins that he remembered slipping down the stairs while running to his car.
Again, like that night, he stumbled at the bottom of the steps before rushing out the garage door.
No one had followed him the night he ran to Hailey, but today, Adam and Kevin were right on his tail.
"Slow down," Kevin yelled when he reached the truck right behind Jay.
Adam grabbed his arm and added, "What the hell, man?"
"We need to help that girl," Jay said through his slight panting.
"And we will, but you don't need to run when there's nothing you can do now," Adam insisted.
Jay set his jaw and pulled his arm away. "Now, we can go to that house and figure out what the hell happened," he retorted.
Kevin reached behind him to hold a hand to the driver's side door and said quietly, "She's not Hailey."
Jay's eyes snapped to him as he replied cooly, "Clearly, but-"
"But you need to calm down, man," Kevin said while shaking his head, "You're pissed and you're fired up today at – what? – me? Come on. You know I didn't mean anything by what I said earlier."
"This has nothing to do with what you said," Jay stated simply now strangely calm compared to a minute ago, "This has to do with a little girl who we know had to have gone through hell. She walked four miles to get our help. She deserves our help, so I'm going to do it, I'm going to help her. If you two want to wait around and do more useless work, that's fine, but I'm going to do something worth doing and see what happened in that house." He then pushed Kevin away and jumped in the front seat.
The engine roared to life a second later just as Kevin and Adam were climbing into the car as well.
Satisfied that they listened to him, Jay sped off out of the parking lot toward the house he was convinced was going to be their key to the case.
The house had been cleared out of the stuff that could have connected this Rick to it, but the basement told them all that Hannah had not been the only person kept there.
The smell alone was awful. The chains on the walls were things of nightmares. The blood on the floor was haunting. The scattered clothes were chilling.
"Where the hell are we?" Adam had breathed after a silent five minutes walking around.
When Voight arrived, Jay thought he looked as sick as he felt himself. The case became a lot bigger than one girl: by the looks of the basement, there had been at least five kids held here, so where were they?
That question kept them busy until close to 10pm when Voight told them all to go home. An eight year-old boy and a ten year-old girl had been found still alive through connections to the basement, but Rick and the two other kids couldn't be found. Hannah had stopped talking to Kim and Vanessa long before they left the hospital. It had all come to a sickening stop.
Jay didn't want to stop, though, and grabbed the case folder he'd been filling on his desk before leaving the district. Finally feeling tired again, he stopped on the way home at a late night coffee shop for a drink. He was passing over the cash for it when his phone buzzed in his pocket.
Glancing at it, he felt a slight smile cross his face.
~ I haven't heard from you at all today. Catch a case? ~ Hailey Upton
"Thank you," he said to the cashier as he stuffed the cash back in his wallet. While walking from the building, he pressed Hailey's name and called her.
"Hey, you okay?" she greeted seconds later upon answering the call.
"Long day," he answered. Climbing into the truck, he groaned and took a long sip of coffee before putting his seatbelt on and starting the car back up.
"Can you elaborate?"
Jay bit his lip and pulled the car from the parking lot. He wasn't quite sure if he wanted to tell her what was going on. Knowing Hailey, she'd want to help, and right now she needed to be resting and recovering.
"Jay," she said after a moment, "Are you still there?"
"Uh," he cleared his throat and said, "Yup. Still here."
"Are you okay?"
His eyes scanned the dark road as he said softly, "Sure."
"You're such a liar."
Jay shook his head slowly and continued driving.
"You realize I'm going to come over, right? I still have a key to your place."
A smile ghosted across Jay's face before he replied, "Maybe I should take that back."
"You won't. I can tell you're driving, so I'll give you a couple minutes."
The call ended before Jay could argue with her, but part of him didn't really even want to argue. A small part of him really did want to see her. Maybe he didn't want to drag her into this case and stress her out, but he did want to talk to her. He needed to see her, too. He needed his beer with Hailey.
Not to his surprise, Hailey beat him to his apartment and let herself in. She was wearing a pair of leggings under his Blackhawks hoodie that he assumed she'd taken when he couldn't find it the night after she moved out. Sitting at the kitchen island, her face relaxed as he walked in.
He chuckled at the plate of chocolate chip cookies she had warmed up from the freezer sitting in front of her and said, "Hey," while slipping his coat off.
"Hi," she said softly. She held out the plate of cookies and watched him grab one with the hand already holding the case file before saying, "I'm worried about you."
"You don't have to be," he said while walking to the living room. He sighed and dropped himself on the couch with coffee, cookie, and file in hand. Taking a sip of the hot drink, he closed his eyes and hoped the caffeine would kick in soon.
Hailey sat next to him and slipped the file from his hand.
"Hailey," he said quietly as he opened his eyes.
She ignored him, though, and began to flip through all the paperwork. Taking a bite of his cookie, he gave in and watched her look at all of his notes. He couldn't tell what she was thinking. On one hand, he was actually worried that this case would be too dark for her, but on the other, he didn't ever want to shield her from stuff. She was an adult and she was damn good at her job, she had every right to help him when things like this got too difficult.
"Has Hannah told you anything else about the other kids?" Hailey eventually asked.
"Um, wouldn't I write that down?" Jay countered as he grabbed the file from her.
"I'd think so, but you didn't," Hailey said.
Jay pursed his lips and began flipping through all the paperwork. "I should have," he breathed, "I…would normally. I think…there's another boy? And maybe another girl? That'd make sense…or maybe it was two girls. I don't…I've just been getting information from Kim, but…"
Hailey's eyes scanned his face before she whispered, "You're too tired for this."
Jay shook his head and continued sorting through his notes. He paused for a second to take a sip of coffee then flipped over a few pieces of paper.
"Jay," Hailey said softly and put her hand on his wrist.
"Why didn't I write it down?" he murmured to himself.
"Hey," Hailey said a little louder, "Jay."
He blinked a couple times and glanced up at her.
"Let's go to bed," she said and gently tugged his hand, "Come on. You're not thinking straight."
"I thought we were going to talk," Jay replied.
Hailey laughed and stood up. "You clearly are not talking tonight and you seem a bit out of it," she said with another tug, "Come on, I'll stay the night."
He raised an eyebrow and set the file down as he repeated, "Stay the night?"
"Yeah," she answered softly and looked away, "I…I've been having a hard time sleeping, so I thought…if you're okay with that?"
Jay finally smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay with that," he said while standing up.
Together, they walked into the bedroom. While Hailey turned down the bed covers, Jay grabbed his pajamas and stepped into the bathroom to change. He took a second after tossing cool water on his face to process what exactly was happening.
Leaving work, he hadn't anticipated Hailey coming over to his apartment, but he really didn't think he could complain right now. He couldn't deny that he was feeling strangely calm since first talking to Hailey on the phone. Earlier, his mind had been racing and he needed to figure out everything that was going on. Now, he was able to look at himself in the mirror and just breathe for a minute. There wasn't this pressure anymore to do anything besides put his pajamas on and go to bed. He could certainly do that right now.
Hailey was sitting cross-legged on the bed waiting for him when he walked out of the bathroom. She had a wide smile on her face and held up her phone for him to see as he walked over. "I texted Voight," she explained, "He said I can go interview Hannah with you tomorrow morning."
"Hailey," Jay sighed and stopped on his way to the bed, "No, you can't go back to work. You have another week and then you can go back; until then, you need to focus on getting better."
Hailey rolled her eyes and climbed under the covers while saying, "I am better. Voight agrees too. It's just interviewing; I can talk to an eleven year-old."
"She's been through a lot," Jay said and slid into the bed next to her.
"And so have I," Hailey pointed out, "Not at all like her, but maybe I can relate to her. I spent a good amount of time in the hospital recently; maybe she wants some of the good food or needs to know who the nice nurses are. You guys only got so far, and while I'm sure you all did amazing, I could help. Another person is never a bad thing."
Jay just raised an eyebrow causing her to laugh softly.
"Okay, fine," she said softly while waving her hand, "Sometimes it can be a bad thing, but I'd like to think I really can help. I'm good at my job, right?"
Jay let out a breath and pulled the blankets over his legs while mumbling, "You're damn good at it."
"See?" Hailey nudged his shoulder and said, "I want to talk to her."
Jay finally looked at her and softened up. Like he'd felt earlier, he could tell a difference in Hailey right now: she certainly looked a lot more like her old self than he was used to recently. She was back to being Detective Hailey, and he really could use her help.
"Fine," he said softly, "But if anything gets to be too much, you let me know and either I'll take over or I can just take you home."
"That's fair," Hailey said with a smile and nod, "Thank you."
"Course," Jay breathed. He laid down in bed and stared up at the ceiling through the dark for a moment thinking about Hailey next to him again. He couldn't help but think that she was home even though she definitely wasn't - her home was now upstairs in a different apartment – however, she did say that she'd been having a hard time sleeping.
He turned his head toward her because the tease, maybe even the flirt, was right there and, try as he might, he really couldn't ignore it any further: "So, you can't sleep without me, huh?"
She rolled onto her side to face him and said, "That's not it."
Jay chuckled and raised an eyebrow.
Giving in, Hailey blushed and mumbled, "Might be it. I was just laying in bed and I couldn't turn anything off. My brain was going a mile a minute. Texting you that first night helped, but I didn't want to bother you last night. I figured you were tired."
Jay sighed then admitted, "Well, I was, but I really couldn't sleep either. It took me a while to fall asleep because my brain was also spinning around. I had to get out my old sound machine to-"
"What?" Hailey interrupted.
Jay sat up slightly and asked, "What do you mean 'what?'"
"What's a sound machine?" Hailey clarified.
"Oh." Jay sat up further then pointed to the white circle on his nightstand. "It makes white noise and helps me sleep," he explained.
"You didn't use that when I was staying here," Hailey said softly.
"Well, yeah, I hadn't used it in forever." Jay laid back down to face her before continuing, "I stopped using it years ago after I had to do an undercover thing and got used to life without it, but then you came and left and I realized…"
He trailed off thinking that maybe finishing that sentence was crossing a line. Then again, they'd spent close to the entire night forty-eight hours ago holding hands and flirting in this very bed – that most certainly crossed a line.
"Yeah?" Hailey gently prompted.
Jay swallowed then finished, "I realized I'd gotten used to hearing you breathe at night and needed some sort of sound again to fall asleep."
Hailey nodded and her hand slipped back across the blankets so that her fingers could drag along his wrist just like the other night. "Army thing?" she whispered.
A quick smirk crossed Jay's face as he remembered her asking that exact same question the very first night she'd stayed in his bed. This time, though, the answer was different: "Yeah."
Hailey nodded again and let her fingers slow down along his arm.
"Sleep was hard when I came back from Afghanistan," he said quietly, "I was in the hospital for a while after being discharged and it felt impossible to sleep there, and then I came home and-and it somehow got worse. I went to group a few times and met these two guys and they told me the same thing had happened to them, so they recommended I get one, and it worked."
"That's good," Hailey whispered.
Jay nodded and looked down at her fingers rubbing along his wrist. For a brief second, he thought it looked weird, and then he remembered taking off the hair tie a week before at Hailey's trial. In the back of his mind, he wondered if that was a small reason as to why he'd been having a hard sleeping; it had always brought him a bit of comfort before.
"I wonder if it'll help me," Hailey continued under her breath, "Give me something to focus on. I close my eyes and I actually relive it. It's…it's haunting."
Frowning, Jay flipped over his hand and grasped onto her fingers. "Has that happened before you left here?" he asked.
Hailey shook her head and rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand. "No," she whispered, "It happened a couple times at the hospital, but that was more flashes. This has been the whole thing. That entire night just won't stop. I need it to stop."
"Hey," Jay breathed and scooted closer to her, "We'll figure it out, okay? Maybe do your yoga stuff at night before bed or try some tea or reading or-"
Hailey cut him off by putting a hand to his chest. Her eyes were darting across his face while her fingers lightly gripped his shirt. A few times, her lips parted like she was going to talk only to close again.
Jay wet his lips with his tongue as he watched her debate her words.
After a minute, she whispered, "Have you thought about this for me or have you lived it yourself?"
He wanted to look away and forget this conversation ever started because this wasn't the way he wanted it to go, but her eyes seemed so blue in the moonlight and it was impossible to look away, so he found himself quietly admitting, "Both."
Hailey nodded and breathed in. Her casted hand slid up to the side of his face. She brushed her fingers along his cheek before closing the small distance between them and hugging him tightly.
Weeks before, he'd been the one to hold her all night for two reasons: she needed the comfort, and he needed to know she was okay. Now, it felt like the opposite, but it was perhaps okay. If letting Hailey hold him gave her some sort of peace that allowed her to focus on anything besides her own nightmares, he was willing to be vulnerable.
It's what everything boiled down to. He had to put his own insecurities and worries and feelings aside for her. He'd never been huge on having people see him when he was having any sort of PTSD, and that's not even necessarily what this was, but the thoughts were there. He was sympathizing with Hailey, and he could remember those nights where nothing he did could shut off the memories.
This time, though, he wasn't alone.
He had Hailey, and she had him.
They weren't alone together.
Morning came sooner than either of them anticipated. It turned out that falling asleep in each other's arms was rather easy to do after being apart for two days. Jay wasn't quite sure how he felt about it. He'd been adamant all along that he was going to give Hailey space and not push himself upon her; however, if he thought about it, she was the one who insisted on coming over to his place and staying the night, so maybe this was a pass.
He chose to ignore all the thoughts about it swirling in his head and re-center on the case at hand while getting ready for the day. Hailey had gone back to her apartment after they woke up to shower and get dressed. As she left, Jay called out that he'd take care of the coffee for the day.
They were going back to work together even if it was only for the day. It was still something, and Jay really was confident that it'd work. There was something about working with Hailey that made him see clearly. He was actually looking forward to going to the hospital for once so that he could help Hannah more than the day before.
Nothing had changed over night - he still had an intense need to help her. He figured that Kevin had been right when suggesting that he was so invested in this because she reminded him of Hailey. It wouldn't have bothered him had it not been for Kevin also saying he needed to give Hailey time to recover. He didn't want to stay away from her - he was giving her emotional space and that should have been enough – but he did want her to realize on her own how strong she was. It was the exact thing he and Will had talked about weeks before: he could support her, but he couldn't be the only support for her.
And then there was everything Kevin had said about what Hailey's abuse did to him. He couldn't deny that seeing her so bruised and beaten had haunted him. If he allowed himself to even remember how he'd felt upon finding her, he would freeze up and be lost in his thoughts for a solid minute reliving it all. He didn't want to think it was affecting his time at work, but maybe…maybe it was, and maybe that was a bad thing.
Maybe they really did need space.
While they walked into the hospital, Jay quietly briefed Hailey on everything he knew regarding the case. She nodded along despite remembering the information from the night before. They were going to let her take the lead for now in some hope that Hannah would connect more with her than him.
"And remember," he whispered as they reached the hospital room, "If you need to leave, just look at me and I'll cut it off."
"Just a look?" Hailey asked softly, "Jay, I look at you all the time."
"Yeah, but," he trailed off with a sigh, "You know."
Hailey bit her lip then nodded in understanding. She squeezed his arm before knocking on the door and walking into the small room.
"Hi," she said with a smile, "I'm Hailey. I'm a police officer, can I talk to you?"
Hannah looked up from doodling on a pad of paper, and Jay couldn't help but close his eyes briefly. The bruising on her face seemed more pronounce than he remembered it, and he could clearly see fingerprints around her throat. Her eyes were still the same brown as before, but still looked incredibly sunken and ghostly. She didn't look like a 'normal' eleven year-old girl.
She looked like Hailey had.
His heart tightened in his chest, but he pushed past it to focus instead on Hailey now pulling a chair closer to the hospital bed. "My friend Kim met you yesterday," she continued softly, "And Vanessa. They said you were very nice, so I was excited to meet you."
"Yeah?" Hannah whispered.
Hailey nodded and smiled. "Yeah," she replied, "I like talking to nice people. Do you?"
Hannah nodded in reply as she fiddled with the pen in her hand.
Hailey pointed over her shoulder at Jay and said, "That's my friend. His name's Jay and he's a police officer too. Are you okay if he stays?"
Hannah glanced over at him and seemed to study him for a moment before saying, "I saw him yesterday."
"Yeah," he said as he stepped closer. He cleared his throat and added, "I remember seeing you too. I was worried about you last night, so I wanted to come say 'hi.' Is that okay?"
Hannah shakily brushed a strand of hair from her face then nodded once more. "You look nice," she said quietly. Looking back at Hailey, she continued, "And you. You look nice. You have hair like me. Is yours real?"
Hailey laughed softly and nodded. "I've always had blonde hair," she answered, "But you're right in assuming it might not be real. I sometimes dye it. Do you dye yours?"
"No, Mom said no," Hannah said. Both Jay and Hailey caught the word and subconsciously leaned even closer to her.
"Your mom said that?" Hailey asked. When Hannah nodded, she continued, "When'd she say that?"
Hannah shrugged and blinked against tears in her eyes. "A long time ago. I miss her," she mumbled.
"I'm sure you do," Hailey said softly. She scooted the chair forward even more so her hands were resting near the mattress. Clearing her throat, she said, "What do you remember about your mom? We want to find her for you, but we don't know where to look."
Hannah rubbed her eyes and shrugged again. She glanced down at the edge of the mattress then let her pointer finger swirl around on Hailey's cast. Sniffling, she whispered, "Why don't I remember?"
Hailey's face fell and she looked at Jay, but he had nothing to say either. He hated the entire situation. Here was a girl who wasn't sure of her last name or how she really even ended up here. She had some sort of connection to the 21st district, but that was the most they could go off of. Everything was a blur and it was painful to witness.
Taking a deep breath, Hailey turned back to Hannah and said, "Recently, some bad stuff happened to me too and I also had a hard time remembering how it happened. I think our brains want to protect us from the bad memories, but when they do that, it just makes us more sad because we know we have to remember, right? If we remember, then we can make sure the bad people get stopped."
"Really?" Hannah murmured.
"Yeah," Hailey breathed, "If you can remember anything at all about…about Rick, right? That was his name?"
Hannah winced and nodded while keeping her eyes trained on her finger dragging along Hailey's cast.
"If you can remember anything about him, Jay and I will try our hardest to find him and get him to stop. We'll make sure he can't hurt anyone else," Hailey said.
At his name, Hannah glanced up at Jay watching her. She swallowed and her eyes flickered back to Hailey. "Are you two really friends or are you just work friends?" she asked.
Hailey's eyes widened slightly in shock at the question, but she still answered, "We're really friends."
Jay smiled and stepped closer to the two of them. Putting his hand on the foot of the hospital bed, he said, "Hailey and I lived together for a couple weeks after she got hurt. I'd say we're good friends."
"Like boyfriend and girlfriend?" Hannah asked, now with a small smile tugging at her lips.
Hailey blushed as she looked up at Jay. "Um," she hummed, "We're not dating. Just really good friends like Jay said."
Hannah sniffled and nodded. Wiping the back of her hand under her nose, she said quietly, "He had a girlfriend. She didn't have a name. He called her 'the lady.' I didn't like it."
"Did you ever meet her?" Jay asked.
Hannah shook her head and continued swirling her finger along the black cast. She was quiet for a moment before asking, "If you're her friend, why didn't you sign Hailey's cast?"
Hailey smiled slightly and glanced up at Jay.
He tried to laugh as he crossed his arms and countered, "What if she didn't want me to sign it?"
"Everyone wants people to sign their cast," Hannah said quietly, "I signed Lily's on her foot."
"Who's Lily?" Hailey asked.
"She stayed with me," Hannah sighed, "She was stolen too. She was little. I miss her."
"And she had a cast?" Jay asked, his mind wandering trying to remember if Lily was the girl they'd found yesterday.
Hannah nodded and began making purposeful patterns on Hailey's cast with her finger. "It was white, but-but he gave us a marker to make it pretty. I drew swirls like this and then polka dots like this and a flower."
Hailey's eyes narrowed as she tried watching the patterns, but knew it was going to be near impossible. Suddenly, she turned to Jay and said, "Go get a marker. Probably a silver one."
He raised an eyebrow, but with one glance to Hannah still pretending to doodle on her cast, he understood. Quickly leaving the room, he scanned the hallway until he saw a particular dark-haired nurse. He took a breath and reminded himself that this was for Hannah before walking over to her.
"Hey, Coral," he said quietly upon approaching her.
The nurse turned and blushed instantly. "Oh, hi," she replied, "How-How're you?"
"I'm good," he answered while looking around the nurse's station, "I'm here for work, actually, and was wondering if you had a silver sharpie."
"Silver?" Coral asked. She frowned at his nod, but still walked around the counter to search the drawers.
Jay watched as she looked through everything within the desk. He glanced over his shoulder at Hannah's room and really hoped Hailey was able to get some more progress. It felt like Hannah was finally opening up and as if Hailey was making a breakthrough with her.
"How's gold?"
Jay's head snapped back toward Coral and he nodded quickly. "I think that'll work. It's for Hailey's cast. Will it show up?"
She smiled slightly and nodded. "Usually gold looks sharp," she said while holding out the marker.
"Thank you," Jay said and began walking backwards, "I owe you."
"It's a marker," Coral said with a short laugh.
Jay shrugged then turned to hurry back into Hannah's room. Holding out the marker for Hailey, he said, "The nurse said this should work."
"Thank you," Hailey replied then passed the marker to Hannah. "Draw on my cast," she explained, "Draw just like on Lily's."
"The same design?" Hannah asked while uncapping the marker.
Hailey nodded and said, "Whatever you can remember. Just go for it."
"Okay."
Hannah worked quietly for a few minutes before her eyes widened and her head shot up. "Lily said she never saw a doctor," she said, "She said when he took her that he hurt her and then they went to see a lady before she came to us. She said…she said the lady was mean. She hurt Lily."
Hailey smiled and nodded encouragingly. "Okay, that's good," she said, "Do you remember anything else from Lily's story?"
"Um." Hannah bit her lip and looked back down at Hailey's cast. Her lips were pursed as she slowly drew along the black. Eventually, she began whispering, "Sto…Stom…Toms…Thompson…Thompson…Son…Erson…Anderson!"
"What's that?" Jay asked.
"My name!" Hannah said with wide eyes, "I'm Anderson! Lily said the lady's name had Thompson in it and my name is like that. I'm Hannah Anderson."
Jay smiled at her and reached out to gently squeeze her arm. "That's really great, thank you," he said, "We can definitely use all of that."
"We're so proud of you," Hailey said with a big smile on her face, "Go ahead and keep going. Let's see if anything else will ring a bell."
Hannah continued doodling on Hailey's cast and every once in a while would say a random memory from her time at Rick's. She managed to remember where she'd been when he took her and that the other kid they were with was an older boy named Max who was mean to Rick. Jay wrote down everything she told them until she seemed to grow tired both physically and mentally.
Hailey gently encouraged her to take a nap all while praising her for the work she'd done both for the case and on her cast. She tucked Hannah within her blankets and promised she'd return in a couple hours to tell her anything they found.
"Strong kid," Jay whispered as they walked from the room.
"I really am proud of her," Hailey replied back. She quietly shut the door then said, "So, district?"
Jay raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "No, you're going back to the apartment."
"Seriously?" Hailey sighed, "But right now-"
"Right now, you dragged up some stuff, you had to have," Jay said quietly, "You were great in there, but you can't push yourself."
"Pushing myself is giving me a purpose and I need that," Hailey countered, "I need to feel useful. I can't keep being selfish and working on myself."
"Working on yourself isn't selfish," Jay said, "It's preparing you to put your best foot forward when you come back."
"This is my best foot forward."
"You're still in a cast."
"And this cast got us the answers to the case."
"It's still a cast."
"You can't keep me hidden forever."
"I'm not hiding you, I'm protecting you."
"You're keeping me to yourself and not letting me be me!"
Jay froze at her raised voice. It felt like a slap to the face. Had he been keeping her to himself? He didn't think so; he thought he'd been helping her out, but maybe she didn't see it that way.
Maybe Kevin was right and that she really did need to work on herself first before the two of them got close because this right now…this hurt a lot more than Jay ever thought. In actuality, he never thought something like this would happen where they'd fight in a hospital hallway, but here they were…and he really wished to be anywhere but.
"Jay, are you done with Hannah?"
Both Hailey and Jay turned to see Coral walking toward them. She seemed hesitant and Jay wondered if she'd just heard what had happened.
"Um, yeah," he answered. He grabbed the marker from Hailey's hand and held it out toward her. "Thank you."
Coral nodded and accepted the marker. "Thank you," she said softly. She turned toward Hailey and added, "You look really good, Hailey. It's nice to see you back on your feet."
Hailey stiffly nodded in reply and crossed her arms.
"See you later?" Coral asked Jay.
He felt his eyebrows scrunch at her words because he really wasn't planning on seeing her later. He didn't remember even talking to her much about plans today. Everything had been about the gold marker, nothing about plans. However, he glanced toward Hannah's door and realized what she had to have been referring to – was he going to return to talk to Hannah again later? That he knew the answer to.
"Yeah, you might," he answered.
Coral smiled and nodded. "Have a nice day," she said softly before walking away.
Hailey waited until the nurse was out of earshot to state, "She called you Jay."
He looked at her and tried to joke, "That is my name."
Without laughing, Hailey raised an eyebrow and asked, "How'd she know your name?"
"What the hell are you doing?" Jay whispered, "Usually when you introduce yourself to someone, you say your name."
And then Hailey's eyes widened and she stepped backwards. She glanced quickly back at Coral before hissing, "At the bar. All those months ago, you met her at the bar when-when…when he grabbed me. That night we all went out together, she was with Will, wasn't she?"
Jay's face fell because she'd finally figured it out. He'd briefly wondered if she'd ever connect the dots and know that her nurse was the same nurse she'd seen at the bar months before.
"She is," Hailey breathed and again stepped away from him, "You lied to me."
"I-I didn't lie," Jay said, "I never said I didn't know her, I just-"
"Kept it from me."
Hailey swallowed and breathed in shakily. Shaking her head, she asked, "Why? Why not tell me?"
"What was I supposed to say?" Jay asked in reply, "What was even the point? Nothing big between us ever happened. I didn't sleep with her. It was just a kiss a few minutes before you got there. As soon as you two came, we stopped."
If he thought his words were going to help, he was sorely wrong. Hailey's face completely dropped. She no longer looked angry, just hurt, which in turn hurt Jay.
Coral hadn't been anything in his life – just someone he kissed in the back of a bar. He'd never planned on her being any more than that, but then she continued showing up when he least expected. It didn't seem fair.
Just like this moment right now. It wasn't fair that after feeling closer than ever with Hailey that Coral would pop back in his life.
"She's a nice girl," Hailey eventually said under her breath, "You should try it out, but until then, take me to the district? I have a case to solve."
She didn't even wait for Jay's response before turning and walking toward the elevator.
It's when he realized that perhaps Kevin had a good point the day before: getting close to Hailey now when they were both wounded wasn't a good idea – they'd been so focused on comforting the other, that they really didn't know what it could be in the future. They were too focused on the moment to think big picture.
And right now, in this big picture, Hailey seemed to think she was scratched out and replaced by a Canadian nurse when in reality…she was most certainly not.
