Chapter Three: Mouse
Everything that happened in the hours after Hailey got to the hospital was a blur. She didn't remember leaving Med or arriving at Will and Nat's house, but she found herself in their guest room unable to fall asleep. Checking her phone, purposefully ignoring the dozens of text messages waiting for her, Hailey saw it was nearly 1:00 in the morning.
Despite the mental and emotional fatigue plaguing her, Hailey couldn't turn her brain off and there was no way she was going to get any sleep. Not that she had anywhere to be later, Voight had all but banned her from the precinct—giving her the rest of the week off and telling her to take all the time she needed after that.
Hailey didn't need time though; she needed her husband, needed to know what happened to him, and, perhaps most importantly, needed to be at his side.
Hailey put her phone back on the nightstand and rolled over with a soft groan, trying to get comfortable. Her insomnia was bad on any day, but stress always made it worse. She settled in and closed her eyes, hoping it would force her body to relax and allow her to escape the horrid reality she'd been stuck in for the past few hours. She wasn't expecting to fall asleep.
Hailey stared ahead, numb. Mouse and Will were on either side of her, standing just as stoic.
Her eyes were red, puffy, and ached on the same level as her heart. Almost.
Nothing came close to that pain.
She couldn't hear the words being said, her eyes were focused on the honor guard members at the front of the group; the ones carefully folding the American flag that had previously been draped on Jay's casket.
Her breath caught as one of the officers came to stand in front of her. "On behalf of the President of the United States, the United States Army, and a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your husband's honorable and faithful service."
With shaking hands, Hailey accepted the folded flag being presented to her. She clutched it to her chest, holding tightly to one of the last pieces of her husband she had. The weight of it in her hands was heavier than she ever imagined.
More words were spoken, but if you asked her what was said Hailey wouldn't have been able to tell you. All her attention, all of her focus at that moment was on the flag she'd been given.
Hailey kept it held tightly against her chest with one hand while the other went to her neck. There, under her fingertips, were Jay's dog tags. Mouse had given them to her the second he arrived in Chicago, and she hadn't parted with them since; if she wasn't wearing them, she had them in her pocket, in her hands, or on a table beside her. Her fingers traced over the engravings as Taps began to play and Will gently urged her forward, allowing her to lead the way for Jay's friends and loved ones to make one final trip to his casket.
Once everyone had returned to their seats, having said one last goodbye to their friend, brother, husband, and hero, they watched as Jay's casket was lowered to the ground. Almost in sync with the casket, tears streamed down Hailey's face. The silence that reigned was only interrupted by the sniffles of the grieving loved ones and the members of the honor guard moving into position with their guns for Jay's 21-gun salute.
Hailey closed her eyes as the first volley of shots rang out. Something about this moment felt more real than anything else since she'd gotten the news—not his final homecoming, not making the funeral arrangements, not all the overwhelming well wishes and pitying looks, not seeing her husband's face one last time at the wake, not even giving his eulogy or receiving the folded flag in her arms. It was as if she'd been living in a colorless fog the past several days and the shots were snapping her back into reality; a reality she didn't want to be a part of.
Not without Jay.
The second round of shots rang out and Hailey forced herself to think of her happiest moments with Jay, choosing to remember the way his green eyes sparkled and the way his charming smile lit up his face. She thought of their last few conversations and prayed to whatever god was listening that she'd never forget the sound of his voice.
Hailey opened her eyes with a shuddering breath and allowed the tears that had welled up behind the closed lids to flow freely down her cheeks. She felt Will wrap an arm around her and felt Mouse's hand's on her shoulder, but as Jay's casket disappeared from view, Hailey felt nothing.
Then the final round of shots was fired.
Hailey's eyes shot open, and she sat up with a gasp. It took her a few seconds to get her bearings and remember where she was. Relief flooded through her system the moment she realized that Jay's funeral, him being dead, was just a nightmare.
For now at least.
Hailey shook that negative thought out of her mind. She had to stay positive, she had to cling to the hope that Jay would be OK—it was the only thing she could do at this point.
Climbing out of bed, Hailey made her way to the kitchen to get some water. She walked quietly down the hall, not wanting to wake Will, Natalie, or Owen up if they'd managed to fall asleep.
As she passed the island on the way to the fridge, Hailey spotted the bags and containers of food that had been dropped off by their friends and coworkers. The word had gotten out. Hours earlier, before she'd stopped reading and replying to messages, Adam had texted her that Herrmann had set up a donation at Molly's.
Hailey grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and moved back to the guest room. She felt too exposed in the open floor plan of the living room and kitchen, despite being alone, and the flowers and food scattered around from well-wishers did nothing to help. While Will and Nat's guest bedroom wasn't hers, it was enough of an escape for now.
As she entered the bedroom, Hailey saw the screen of her phone light up. She was fully prepared to ignore it—her phone hadn't stopped ringing and dinging since she'd left the hospital—but the name on the caller ID had her running the last few feet to answer it.
Mouse.
Jay had met Mouse at Ranger school and through training and tours, they became best friends. They weren't just best friends though, they were brothers; they had each other's backs. When they met, neither of them had the best relationship with their families back home and their shared stories forged a bond.
When Jay first introduced Mouse and Hailey, the two hit it off instantly. Hailey liked Mouse, she considered him a friend and always felt an added sense of comfort knowing that Jay had him watching his back overseas.
If Mouse was calling her, that meant the communications blackout had been lifted and she would finally, hopefully, be able to find out what exactly happened to her husband.
Hailey swiped across the screen to answer the call. "Mouse?"
"Hey Hailey," he answered. His voice sounded tired and there was a hint of worry. "I didn't wake you up, did I?"
"No," Hailey said, shaking her head even though Mouse couldn't see her. "I was already awake."
Both sides of the phone were quiet after that. The silence stretched on for what felt like forever until Hailey finally spoke again.
"Mouse, what the hell happened?"
The sigh from the other end of the line did nothing to calm the erratic beating of Hailey's heart. Then the sniffles started and Hailey's stomach dropped, fear washing over her. Why is Mouse crying? Did something else happen to Jay?! Hailey pulled her phone away from her ear and checked her notifications, making sure she didn't miss a call from Mark. She hadn't, which eased the panic slightly.
"Mouse, please," Hailey begged. "Did something else happen?"
"No!" Mouse answered immediately. He cleared his throat and continued speaking. "Jay is still critical, but he's as stable as he could be right now."
"Have you been able to see him?"
"Not yet. They have to monitor him closely so they're not letting anyone in to see him." Mouse stated sadly. "One of the nurses is keeping me updated."
"How bad is it?" Hailey asked, her stomach doing flips. She didn't know if she was ready to hear all the details but, ready or not, she needed to know.
Mouse was quiet for a moment and Hailey heard him swallow hard before he started talking again. His voice was quieter this time, more somber. "It's bad Hailey. Head trauma, internal bleeding, broken bones, blood loss….. he's had one long surgery so far but the doctors are anticipating at least one or two more before he's stable enough to transfer to Germany."
Hailey could barely hear what Mouse was saying over the roaring in her ears. When she first learned that Jay had been injured, she'd assumed he'd been shot, hurt in some kind of crash, or worst-case scenario, hurt by an IED or some other explosion. Now though, listening to the injuries Mouse described—none of those options seemed to fit.
"God," Hailey croaked. Tears had filled her eyes and her throat felt thick with emotion.
"Jay's strong, Hailey." Mouse declared, attempting to comfort and soothe. "And he's fighting like hell. He knows you're waiting for him back home."
Hailey sniffled again and wiped her eyes with the hem of her shirt. "What happened to him?"
Mouse sighed but didn't immediately answer. Hailey could hear his hesitation but at this point, she didn't care. She needed answers. "Mouse?"
Another sigh. "What did the notification officers tell you?"
"Just that Jay had been injured in combat and was being treated on base before being transferred to Germany," Hailey replied. Mouse snorted once, which made Hailey quirk an eyebrow, but Hailey continued. "They wouldn't tell me how he got he got injured though…just said there was an investigation opened."
Mouse sighed. "There is an open investigation, and I could get court-martialed for talking to you about this, but I don't care. You deserve to know what happened."
Hailey steeled herself for whatever Mouse would say next, clutching her phone in one hand and her shirt in the other. Her knuckles ached because of the strong grip but she needed to do something with her hands.
"Jay was attacked—beaten, stabbed, and left for dead." Mouse stated. He tried to be emotionless, to make it easier, but Hailey could hear the cracks in his voice. "Medical staff think he was bleeding out for almost an hour before he was found."
Hailey could barely wrap her mind around what Mouse was telling her. From everything Jay had told her about combat, it didn't seem to fit. "I….I don't understand. Was Jay attacked at his sniper perch? Where was his spotter?! Those are close combat injuries!"
"He wasn't attacked in his sniper perch." Mouse argued quietly.
That only made Hailey more confused and the knot in her stomach grew. She wasn't at all prepared for what Mouse said next.
"Jay was attacked on base."
A/N: I cried writing this chapter and there's one sentence that still makes me cry each time I read it so, ya know, enjoy?
