Disclaimer: Encanto does not belong to me. This story is not for profit.


CW: mentions of physical abuse


Chapter 4

October 20th

Mirabel woke up in the early morning, put her glasses on, and looked around in the dark, convinced that something had startled her awake. Bruno was gone. Her heart thudded so hard that it felt like it pressed against her stomach. Don't worry, she told herself. We don't know what his habits are. Maybe he goes for a walk every night. He'll be back. It's not like he's running away anymore.

Suddenly she realized Dolores was awake, too. They had slept closer together this evening. Their gazes met. The church wasn't perfectly dark, and their eyes had adjusted to the dim light, but Mirabel could barely make out Dolores' face other than the gleam of her cousin's eyes.

Silently, Dolores set aside her blanket and rose.

Mirabel glanced around and followed Dolores' lead. They sneaked to the front door of the church and looked out. The street was deserted and quiet. Dolores shook her head. Mirabel frowned and stepped outside. Dolores' eyes widened. "What do you want to do?" she whispered.

"I'm worried about him," Mirabel whispered back. She strode out into the street. He's not going to leave the village. So I'll probably find him. Right? I mean, it's not like he's going to hide from me.

She walked the streets of the village until her legs were tired and couldn't find Bruno. Defeated, she trudged back to the church, went inside, and collapsed on her makeshift bed, falling asleep with her glasses still on.

xxx

In the morning, Dolores found a moment after breakfast but before they joined the others at the building site and took Mirabel aside, between two houses. "As a way to apologize for hearing too much, I'll teach you how to hear too much," she whispered.

"What?"

Dolores shushed her and glanced around, but the space between the two buildings was empty. The whole village seemed to be at the building site. "You want to know things. You want people to tell you things." She shrugged. "You're even pretty good. But another thing you can do is just listen. You don't need magic to be a good listener. I will teach you how to be still so that people spill their secrets without ever knowing you were around."

She gestured Mirabel still closer and whispered in her ear, "And Bruno knows more than he's telling. He's heard things, damaging things, from the other side of the wall."

"I know you can't hear people talking now, but you heard everything in the whole Encanto. Did you ever hear any theories about the way the magic works?"

Dolores glanced around, gestured Mirabel closer, and then nodded. "The villagers are sure it comes from Abuela," she whispered.

"What?" Mirabel said too loudly. Dolores flinched. Mirabel lowered her voice. "Are you sure? From Abuela? Not the candle?"

"Abuela has always said the miracle came from God's blessing, and touching the magic candle is what gave her children Gifts, and her grandchildren Gifts. But the villagers know the miracle started with her. They saw…"

"What did they see?"

"Abuela's golden light made the Encanto. Where Abuela stood is where Casita grew. Without Abuela's magic, there would be no magic in the candle."

"You're saying Abuela decides who gets a Gift and who doesn't," Mirabel whispered.

Dolores gave a single nod.

"But does she know she's the one giving people their Gifts?"

"I don't think so," Dolores whispered. "I never heard her acknowledge it."

Mirabel's throat was suddenly dry. "I went out the night of Antonio's party, late, to check on the candle. I couldn't sleep. I overheard Abuela talking to Abuelo Pedro and she said she knew about the cracks and told him that we – everyone but her – didn't know how vulnerable we were. How long has Abuela known about the cracks, Dolores?"

Dolores met her gaze. "A long time."

xxx

Mirabel cornered Bruno at lunchtime. She was the only one willing to get close to him while he was tending all of his rats. She counted half a dozen, and she didn't know if more of them were hiding in his sleeves. He was feeding them bits of fruit and raw vegetables. "Your mother gave me this," he said happily, gesturing to the plate of raw, diced fruit and vegetables. "She says she doesn't want the rats to get malnourished." He grinned. "Yeah, it's bad for them to eat arepas. That's human food. R-Rats really shouldn't eat too much – too much human food. It's bad for them."

"Where did you go last night?" Mirabel asked.

"L-Last night?"

"Yeah."

"Nowhere. I was rolled up in my blankets like everyone else."

Mirabel smirked. "I saw you sneak out of the church. So did Dolores."

Bruno whirled to face her. The rat that had been balancing on his wrist clung for dear life, squeaking, and pulled itself back up onto its perch. "That's impossible."

"Why? Because no one notices what you do?"

Bruno shook his head. "No, it's impossible because I didn't – didn't go anywhere." Then his expression turned to one of understanding and shame. "Oh…You saw me sleepwalking. That's why I don't remember."

"Sleepwalking?"

"Yeah. Ask Julieta about it. She's had to heal the bruises often enough."

"Bruises?"

"From me bumping into things." Bruno refocused on feeding his rats. "People who didn't know any better always thought I was having a vision. I'd be stumbling around muttering to myself, but I was asleep. I guess now that I'm outside the walls, i-it's happening again."

Mirabel waited until he was finished with the rats. "I want to know why Casita fell apart."

Bruno shrugged. "There's only so much a building can take. It was cracked. I don't know why it fell down when it did. It had to happen sometime." He set down the empty plate he'd fed the rats from on a nearby windowsill, fumbling it slightly. "Even with Hernando and Jorge trying to hold it together, i-it wasn't going to last. That's the trouble with magic houses, maybe." He forced a smile. "Unreliable."

"Dolores says you know things."

Bruno backed away quickly. "I don't know w-w-what D-Do- what she was talking about."

"Yes, you do. Otherwise you wouldn't be trying to get away from me."

"I'm scared, all right?" Bruno backed up again, holding his hands out to keep her from getting closer. "Things don't work out for me, if you hadn't noticed. Even when it seems good it's bad."

"But that's not true! You got me to talk to Isabela for the first time, ever, and she let out her feelings, and her powers grew, and – and –"

"And then she lost her Gift, and now she can do nothing, and she probably blames me for being wrong about my vision," Bruno said.

Mirabel was exasperated. "She didn't even mention you. In fact, she said she knew I was right about the cracks and this would always have happened no matter what."

Bruno slumped. "She did? She-she didn't blame me?"

"No." Mirabel came forward and hugged him. "We love you. We know you're trying your best."

Bruno hugged her tightly. "Well, you're the only one who believes in me. Everyone else thinks that I'm a failure. Or worse."

"I know better," Mirabel said firmly. "You love this family more than anyone. You spent ten years patching the cracks, even though no one else could see it."

"N-No, that wasn't me," Bruno said, pulling back. "I was too afraid to go anywhere near the cracks." He pulled down his hood. "It was I, Hernando! I am afraid of nothing!"

Mirabel smirked skeptically and propped her hands on her hips. "If you're afraid of nothing, then tell me what you know."

"That would take far too long, and the things I know are not fit for a young Señorita's ears," Hernando boomed. "Ask me, if you wish, about specific people or places or events, and I will tell you all you are allowed to know at your age."

Mirabel rolled her eyes. "Fine." She was convinced Bruno was being dramatic. "What I want to know is what Abuela said to you about the miracle. Because I've been thinking. Abuela got a door in Casita, right? Which means she must have a Gift. And her doors shows her holding the candle. So she's not its keeper, she's its maker! Right? Come on, I know I'm right. Did she ever admit to you that she made the candle?"

Hernando pulled back his hood and became Bruno. "S-Sometimes she would say that Pedro – m-my Papá – m-m-m…made the candle." He looked down at his hands. "I think she was being sentimental."

"I believe that Abuelo Pedro's death motivated her to make the candle," Mirabel said. "But he obviously didn't make it himself. I mean, he died. And the candle is still here. And it stayed lit until I told Abuela she was being unfair to everyone and that the miracle was in danger because of her. Whatever she's been doing to sabotage the miracle, she did it so hard the candle went out."

Bruno dropped his hood and became Hernando. Hernando turned away. "The candle represents her love for the family. When you stood up to her, she became so angry she decided she didn't love any of us."

Mirabel felt those words like a physical blow. She curled in on herself a little. "She was hurting everyone. I did the right thing."

"Yes."

Mirabel wrapped her arms around herself and turned away. "Do you think she loves any of us for real?"

His gentle hand was on her shoulder. "I d-d…I don- I don't know," he said, Bruno again. "There were times when I was a kid she could be so cold."

"Mamá says Abuela hurt all of you," Mirabel said.

"W-What?" Bruno sounded genuinely bewildered. "Why would she say that?"

Mirabel turned and faced him. "You mean, it isn't true?"

Bruno held up his hands. "I-I'm not saying that our mother didn't hurt my sisters, but I don't think – I don't think – I can't imagine – didn't witness anything m-m-myself."

"And she didn't do anything to you?"

"No. God, no. Besides be mean? She could be mean. Oh, she has a way of cut-cutting down – a-anyone she wants to cut down, she can cut them down with her tongue." He pulled down his hood and became Hernando. "This topic is not fit for a young Señorita's ears."

Mirabel stared at him. "Are you saying Abuela did do something?"

Hernando stared at her impassively. Or at least his mouth was stoic. The hood was down so far she couldn't see his eyes.

Mirabel sighed and sagged. "Fine, I'll stop asking. But I want to know someday. I want to know everything about my family. The good and the bad. I want no more secrets."

"Wanting no more secrets is a dangerous thing," Hernando said.

"No, having secrets is a dangerous thing," Mirabel argued. "It's secrets that somehow destroyed this family. I know it. At least some of the miracle leaving is because of secrets. And I know that a lot of suffering is caused by secrets. Like Isabela's secret that she doesn't want to marry Mariano and doesn't want to be told she's perfect all the time. Your secret hurt you – your secret about living in the walls. Luisa's secret about being afraid tortured her. She said she felt like she would pop."

"Oh, living in the walls isn't really my secret," Bruno said as if it were the most normal thing to have done. "My secret's something else. Actually –" He smiled. "There were times living in the walls was kind of fun. I had a room all to myself where no one could barge in and I got to spend all day having fun with the rats and making up telenovelas. Be-Before I went to live in the walls, I never had any time for anything except what my mother wanted me to be doing."

"Yeah," Mirabel muttered. "Abuela sure knows how to keep everyone busy. Busy enough that maybe they don't see how she really treats them. She says it's all about making the family proud, but the one telling everyone else when to feel proud or not is her. A family can't be a single person."

xxx

When Mirabel left Bruno's side and returned to the building site, Pepa came up to her, wringing her hair. "I can't find Camilo. Do you know where he is?"

"Do you want me to look for him?" Mirabel asked.

She stroked her hair obsessively. "If you don't mind. You seem to have a knack for finding people." She forced a worried smile. "After all, you knew where Antonio was the day of his party, and you found Bruno."

"I'll find Camilo," Mirabel promised.

After asking around the construction site, she discovered he wasn't there. I remember when Camilo cheated at hide-and-seek so many times I stopped playing with him. Knowing he's not here is a nice change. Then she felt guilty for thinking it. He's probably devastated. He had one of the most useful Gifts of everyone.

Mirabel found Camilo down by the river where their Abuelo had been taken from them. He was poking the shallow water with a stick and watching the ripples.

"How come you ran away?"

Camilo sighed. "No one wants me for me. They're all disappointed I can't transform anymore. All morning, it was, 'Camilo, we need – oh, yeah. Sorry.'"

Mirabel sat down next to him on a boulder. "I'm sorry. That goes to show how used the village got to you being whoever they need you to be."

"No one has a use for Camilo. They all want me to be whoever's the most convenient." Camilo poked the water with the stick again and frowned at it.

"I don't want you to be convenient," Mirabel said. "I want you to be my cousin." She rested her hand on his shoulder. "I won't forget the way you tried to save the miracle with me when Casita was collapsing. You and Isabela – you showed you really care."

Camilo scoffed. "Or we're both terrified that no one loves us without our Gifts."

Mirabel flinched.

"My impressions used to make everyone laugh. Then I turned 5 and they became my life." Camilo stabbed the gravelly riverbank with the stick, scowling and shrugging off Mirabel's hand. "I never thought that people would ask me to stop being me."

"That was wrong of them," Mirabel said softly. She leaned over, tilting her head, trying to achieve eye contact. "But, hey, you're still you."

Camilo stood and threw the stick as hard as he could. It landed almost soundlessly in the middle of the river and was swept away. "Thanks to what everyone else did, I don't even know who that is!" He turned on his heel and confronted her.

She scrambled off the boulder and backed up, stumbling over loose stones.

"If I don't know who I am, how is anyone else supposed to?" he yelled. His hands clenched. "My little brother thinks you're his sister! I'm his brother! It's supposed to be me he looks up to, not you! He should be following me around. Instead all I hear is 'Mirabel, Mirabel, Mirabel,' even though you're responsible for taking his Gift away from him when he just got it and it was the first thing that ever made him happy! He still worships you and he still ignores me!"

Mirabel looked at him with sudden comprehension and pity.

Camilo reddened and clenched his teeth, his cheeks briefly puffing out. "Don't look at me that way."

"It's not too late for you to get to know Antonio – and it's not too late for Antonio to get to know you."

"You don't know anything about it. You got to stay in the Nursery and never grow up. We're the same age and I feel like an old man, god damn it!" Camilo picked up a rock and hurled it at the river, tears streaking down his cheeks. "Camilo, I'm tired, be me and hold my baby so that I can take a siesta! Camilo, we need another Jose! Camilo, stop being you!"

Mirabel grew stern. "We were all asked to stop being ourselves. That is what makes what Abuela did so evil. 'Mirabel, maybe if you stood out a little more, you would have received a Gift'. 'Mirabel, whatever you're doing, stop it'. 'Mirabel, you're not being helpful enough'." She strode over, grabbed his arms, and pulled him into a hug. "Maybe you needed this to happen so that no one could force you to pretend to be someone you're not anymore," she whispered.

Camilo sobbed against her shoulder. "How do I figure out who I am? What if it's too late?"

"Some people don't figure out who they are until they're adults," Mirabel said, smiling, stroking his hair. She was relieved that he had finally opened up to her. Like Isabela, he had seemed unreachable. "It's normal not to know. We're only 15. We'll figure out who we are one day at a time."

Camilo slowly stopped crying. "Papa would be angry if he saw me acting like this. His full grown son, acting like a baby."

Mirabel gasped. "That's it!"

Camilo pulled away from her enough to rub his eyes. "What's it?"

"That's why you kept transforming into someone with the body of an adult and the head of a baby – because you felt like a baby!"

Camilo stared at her. "What are you saying? That I made my own Gift go wrong?"

Mirabel waved her hands quickly. "No, not on purpose. But listen to me. You said that you feel like a baby – and that's what your Gift showed. Your mama makes thunderclouds and rain whenever she's angry or hurt. Luisa lost her strength because she finally admitted she feels weak on the inside. This wasn't us losing our miracle! Isabela's flowers attacked Mariano because she doesn't want to marry him – and she made a cactus when she admitted she was angry at me and angry at having to be perfect all the time. This all makes sense!"

"Then why were Antonio's animals attacking us and stealing stuff?" Camilo asked, frowning.

She noticed he hadn't said her theory was wrong. "Because Antonio is angry and wants attention."

Camilo gestured with one hand and propped his other hand on his hip. "Attention? Who says he doesn't get enough attention? Since he got his Gift he's been the center of everyone's attention all the time."

Mirabel smirked at Camilo's defensive tone. "But that's not true. The day after his party, Abuela had already moved on to making Isabela the center of attention. She dismissed him at breakfast with the words, 'I'm sure I can find a way to make your Gift useful,' or something like that."

Camilo rubbed his chin. "Yeah…? So what?"

"Antonio just got his Gift, and Abuela said it wasn't useful to the family, and then she changed the subject to Isabala," Mirabel said, spreading her hands. "Don't you see? He's only 5. He was already scared of her. He thought he had made her happy by getting a Gift, and then she said mean things about it. And before he got his Gift, no one was interested in him. He got one evening, one party, to feel special, and then he was back to being put down and ignored."

Camilo looked at the ground. "Yeah. I guess that is hard. I got used to being ignored all the time, but he – I guess he really hoped it would be different for him."

"I think Antonio really needs his brother right now," Mirabel said softly.

"Yeah? Who's that?" Camilo grumbled. "What brother?"

Mirabel smiled and rolled her eyes. "Come on. Let's go back."

As soon as they emerged through the mountain pass and into the back yard of their property, they were greeted by Antonio's shout. "Camilo!"

Antonio launched himself at Camilo with a flying leap and latched onto Camilo's middle with his arms and legs, clinging like a sloth. "Where were you? Mama said you disappeared and I was so scared something had happened to you and Tia Julieta can't save you anymore!"

Camilo stared, then slowly brought his arms around his little brother. "I'm OK. Who says I'm not OK? Mamá? She blows everything out of proportion. I'm fine. I just went for a walk. I wanted to see the stream where Abuela got our miracle. Wanna see it?"

"Sure!"

Camilo gave Antonio a piggyback ride back the way he and Mirabel had come.

"Relax," Mirabel said to Pepa. "He just went out to the river. That's it."

"But what if he had fallen in?" Pepa demanded. "Even when Julieta could heal everyone, she couldn't heal water out of a person's lungs."

Mirabel felt chilled. She'd never thought about limitations to her mother's Gift before. Her mother's magic had seemed limitless. "They'll be careful. Besides, the river isn't very deep."

"What's deep to a 15-year-old isn't the same thing as what is deep to a 5-year-old," Pepa said sharply.

Mirabel frowned and squared her shoulders. "Hey. Camilo is a great brother. He'll look after his little brother. You just need to give him a chance."

"Without a Gift?"

"He doesn't need a Gift to be a good older brother," Mirabel said.

Félix wrapped an arm around Pepa's waist. "Mi carina, let the boys go do something together. It will be good for them, huh? They need to blow off some steam at all the stress."

Pepa relaxed into her husband's embrace with a sigh. "All right." She suddenly frowned at him. "But if they both drown, it is your fault."

Félix chuckled nervously. "Nothing will happen."

But Pepa only truly relaxed when Camilo and Antonio came back for dinner. That evening in the church, Camilo and Antonio made a fort between two pews with a sheet and some pillows and lay in it, giggling and talking until their mother made them break it up and go to sleep.