I do not own Encanto. This story is not for profit.


Chapter 23

November 2nd

Morning

Although the Madrigals had attempted to go back to the church, Señora Guzmán had insisted that the family stay in her home for the rest of the duration of the construction. She claimed she enjoyed the company and the fullness of her house and that they were doing her a favor. Abuela couldn't say no at that.

Mirabel was glad, despite the awkwardness of Dolores and Mariano being under the same roof. La Casa Guzmán was more comfortable than the church and had more privacy when someone, like Bruno, needed to hide in a separate room. Plus, this meant they were no longer so separated from Abuela.

As everyone went to bed, the atmosphere was somber, but that wasn't unusual for All Saints Day. However, Mirabel awakened, the living room still dark, to the sound of someone crying. She shifted around, trying to dislodge Antonio from her side carefully enough not to wake him, put on her glasses, and crawled to her feet. A massive shape sat next to the living room's market-facing window. There was only one person with shoulders that broad. Mirabel crept over and sat next to Luisa, leaning against her. "Hey," she whispered.

Luisa trembled. "I didn't mean to wake anybody up," she mumbled. "Maybe I should leave until I get control of myself."

"Or, we could take a walk because fresh air helps people feel better," Mirabel whispered. "Not everything has to be self-punishing."

They dressed as covertly as possible and slipped out into the night air. The temperature was crisp but not chilly. A smoky odor hung in the air from so many candles being lit, and the fragrance of fresh flowers was especially strong when the wind blew from the direction of the town cemetery, where so many flowers had been placed on graves.

Mirabel waited to speak until they were on the other side of the bridge and outside of the west side of the town, in the direction of the farms that grew the town's coffee. "Wanna tell me what's up?"

"I ruined the Miracle. Everyone blamed you when the cracks appeared, but it was me. I don't know why you were in Tio Bruno's vision. I guess trying to fix it all. But you couldn't. Because..." Luisa burst into fresh tears. "Because I'm such an awful person!"

Mirabel hugged her around the middle. "That is not true. Luisa...you feel everything so much, but you still try to put on a brave face and carry everything, for everyone. It's not fair to you, and if we hadn't done that, all of us, and the entire town, then you wouldn't feel like it was your fault that the Miracle went away."

"God's punishing me for complaining. I never should have said the burdens felt heavy!" Luisa picked Mirabel up and sobbed against Mirabel's shoulder, wailing.

Mirabel clung to her. "Luisa, don't you see? This is all coming from a place of shame, shame brought on by feeling never good enough. Isabela thinks she ruined the Miracle, too. And so do I. And so does Tio Bruno. We all feel not good enough. We all feel like we can't do anything right. And we all feel that way because that's how Abuela feels."

"Abuela? But she and Abuelo Pedro saved everyone. They're heroes." At least Luisa wasn't wailing anymore. She sniffled and whimpered a little, but her tears slowed down.

"Abuela..." Mirabel took a deep breath. "Abuela doesn't feel like a hero." She felt a wave of sadness at recalling her vision of a 20-something-year-old Alma losing her husband.

Luisa set her down but held her close. "Why not?"

"Abuelo Pedro purposefully sacrificed himself, giving up the life he wanted with Abuela and his kids. That was what made the Miracle, through some kind of pact with God that I still don't understand, but probably has to do with Jesus Christ?" Mirabel cringed. "I don't know." She shook off her embarrassment. "Anyway, I know that Abuela feels like Abuelo Pedro did it all, and when he did what he did...she actually lost her future. She does the whole thing about sacrificing ourselves to serve the town because she feels like Pedro sacrificed our family's future and our family's happiness in order to save everyone else. That's why she felt stabbed in the back when she found out people want to leave the Encanto. Because it would mean...Abuelo sacrificed her future with him and us for nothing. If the town's not even grateful...then what kind of Miracle did his death buy?"

"That's horrible," Luisa said. She dried her eyes with her fingers. "Poor Abuela."

Mirabel sighed. "Right. Yes, I do feel sorry for her. But I think you – and everyone – all of us – we have all been missing the broader point. What if the Miracle was never meant for the town? What if...it's not what we think it is?"

"But Padre said -"

"Forget about that for a minute. Everyone says God is complicated, right? And the idea of redemptive suffering...it's complicated. It's not easy to understand. So, what if understanding it goes back to something Abuelo Pedro had for Abuela that no one else had? Imagine the Miracle is just for us Madrigals. What would be so important? How did Abuelo Pedro touch God's heart?"

Luisa's brow furrowed. "He...loved her. Enough to die for her."

Mirabel nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. "It was love." She hugged Luisa. "The Miracle is Love."

"Abuela needs to remember how to love...us?" Luisa asked, hugging Mirabel tightly.

"That's right."

Slowly, Luisa and Mirabel walked back to the Guzmán house and sneaked back in. Mirabel was pretty sure Dolores had caught them, but thankfully her cousin was pretending to be asleep.

xxx

At the breakfast table after Grace, Abuela called their attention and spoke. "Good morning, everyone. I have been doing a great deal of thinking…thinking very hard. And I have prayed. I have begged God to help me understand the Miracle and have asked him whether or not it is possible that I might be granted a second chance…if I understand my sin and repent." Her voice wavered and then cracked.

The entire table went silent. Mirabel froze in the act of spooning out cream onto her plate. Her Papá held the basket of arepas. Félix tried to cover a choking, coughing fit, stifling it with his fist. Luisa's jaw dropped, and she hastily closed her mouth.

Abuela took a deep breath. "This morning, on the balcony of the guest bedroom, I was visited by a yellow butterfly. I believe with all my heart that this is God's answer. Yes. Someday…on a day of God's choosing…after I have fully repented to the depths of my soul, we may have our Miracle back. But I need to work as hard as I can to repair the damage and to understand everything that went wrong. I was responsible for the Miracle. I let you all down." Her gaze swept across the table. "One day, when all this is over, I will ask for your forgiveness. But not yet."

Julieta looked fearful and pained. "Mamá…"

"It is all right," Abuela said to her. "In all of God's mercy and grace, he is capable of forgiving any sin, once we truly understand it and repent. I believe in the power of redemption to heal this family. And, it begins with me." Her brow creased with emotion.

"Mirabel and I saw the yellow butterflies in my vision," Bruno said. Several people looked at him in apparent surprise that he had spoken. "Mirabel spotted a yellow butterfly first. The butterfly led to a scene of her hugging Isabela and the candle burning brighter."

"But there was a second scene overlaid, mixed up, because this vision was so huge it was, like, impossible to see it all," Mirabel said. She set down the cream and gestured with both hands. "The butterfly lit on a long blade of grass, and the figure I was hugging kept changing – it wasn't distinct! Because there were two hugs. The first hug was Isabela, true. But the second…was you, Abuela. The butterfly was at the river where Abuelo Pedro made his sacrifice for us. And I was hugging you, there. Tio Bruno's vision showed the moment that you decided you were going to try to heal from Abuelo Pedro's loss. Because whether you knew it or not, by promising to help me fix what was broken, we weren't just talking about a house. We were talking about your broken heart."

Silence rang out in the wake of Mirabel's declaration.

Mariano's lower lip quivered, and tears welled up in his eyes. "That is so beautiful!" He literally wept.

Mirabel cringed, feeling awkward.

Señora Guzmán left her seat and went to her son, stroking his hair. To Abuela, she said. "My Mamá said that she didn't think you would ever heal from the loss of Pedro, and she was so very sad about that fact. I know that she is smiling down on us from Heaven, Alma."

To Mirabel's shock, Abuela rose from her seat and embraced Señora Guzmán. Then everyone was crying or close to it, and Julieta, Pepa, and Bruno left their chairs and hugged their mother.

"We will get through this together," Julieta said. "La familia Madrigal."

"We're stronger than the magic," Bruno said. "It's gone, but we're still here. Look, Mamá. See us. Your children. We are grown. We are strong. Te amo, Mamá."

Pepa cried. "Yes, te amo!"

Julieta rubbed Abuela's back. "Te amo, no matter what."

Abuela cried and hugged her children, squeezed their hands, caressed their cheeks. "Te amo, all of you. I must show it from now on. I lost my Brunito because I had become…so critical…so judgmental. I had hardened my heart. I was no longer thinking of who our Miracle is for. And I know…Pedro would be so ashamed of me." She broke down into sobs.

"No, Mamá," Pepa said.

Abuela nodded, wiping her eyes. "Yes. Let me face this. You do not need to protect me anymore." Tears filled her eyes again. "My poor children. You have been protecting your Mami all this time, shouldering burdens that were not yours to bear, trying to replace your father when you were the ones who have missed him most, who needed him most not to be a sacrifice but to be a Papá. Life has been so hard…and I am sorry."

She hugged them and they hugged her all over again.

Señora Guzmán looked to Mariano with a guilty expression. "Marito…" She crossed to him and bent over him, bringing herself to eye level. "Your father died when you were so young. I came to rely on you so much as the 'man of the house'…I never considered what I was doing to you. I owe you an apology."

"Mamá," Mariano protested, wide-eyed.

"No, Alma is correct." She hugged her son. "You don't need to protect me anymore. You don't need to be a replacement for your father. And…I have been nitpicking every girl you liked because I wanted to keep you around a little longer. You are a man now. You need a wife. You deserve your own story. I'm sorry that I pushed you to court Isabela. Court whoever you like. Be interested in whoever you like. I will open my heart to them."

Dolores squeaked.

Mariano's expression softened. "Mamá…" He stood and pulled her into a tight hug.

Abuela waved over Agustín and Félix. "Oye. My yernos, come here."

"Si, Suegra," Agustín said, rising and coming to join them.

"Time for a big hug," Félix said, coming over and giving Abuela just that.

"You have tried to be the ray of sunshine for this family for so long," Abuela said to Félix. "It is time to stop and let us deal with our unhappiness. With our feelings. You do not need to do that anymore." She cupped his cheek. "I have lost track of how many times you found me brooding and sought to cheer me up. I afraid that I have abused that. No more, Félix."

Félix kissed her hand. "You are like a Madre to me. Cheering people up is my nature."

"And it is a wonderful nature, but too often used to cover up the problems of this family," Abuela said.

Félix looked embarrassed. "Maybe."

Abuela turned her attention to Agustín and gently embraced him. "Agustín. I have been so hard on you. I know that picking on you only makes it worse, and yet I do it again and again. I am so sorry."

"Er…um…" Agustín looked like he might bolt out of her arms. In this instant, Mirabel was reminded of Bruno. "I n-never…uh…"

Abuela sighed and cupped his cheek. "You do the best that you can. In fact, pushing yourself to always do the best is often how you have hurt yourself. You passed on the same tendencies to your daughters, and Mirabel was almost lost to us…and it started with the pressure I put on you. You have every right to be angry with me for how I have treated you. Especially as the first yerno, I expected so much of you. I expected you to be perfect. I controlled and criticized you constantly. I understand if you can never forgive me for what it has cost you to be Julieta's husband."

"No, I…" Agustín looked at Abuela with wide eyes, his legs shaking as if he were going to collapse. "I don't regret marrying Julieta! I don't want anyone to think that I regret marrying into the Madrigals. Or that I'm ungrateful for how you've always looked out for me."

General talking went on for several minutes, and several handkerchiefs got used up. Then, finally, everyone ate breakfast, but many people kept a handkerchief in one hand while they employed a fork with the other.