AN: I love Camilo and I'm not sure I did him justice in this chapter. Hopefully, I'll be able to improve writing him in the future but, for now, this will have to do. Either way, I hope you enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think :)
Disclaimer: Disney is the one and only owner of Encanto.
Standing in front of the inspiration board, the stars shining above him, Camilo took a breath. It had been a bad day. One where he couldn't remember what he looked like and had to resort to using the picture Mirabel insists he keeps in his wallet at all times. Doing so is the only way he's able to change back to himself on days like these. By constantly being other people, it sometimes seems as if he's losing what makes him, him. There are times when he has trouble remembering if the quirks he's so used to are his or someone else's entirely. If his prima didn't make sure he always carried at least one photo of himself, Camilo is certain there would be days where he ends up stuck in a body that wasn't his... not fully at least.
Standing here, in the dim light, the teen reread the messages he'd received throughout the years before switching to the newer ones left by his family. Within the last few months his papá, hermana, tia, and even Prima Luisa had all received notes. That's the most that had ever been left in such a short span of time and, for some reason, he couldn't shake the feeling of bitterness nesting in his heart. He was struggling, hurting, and it seemed like no one cared!
'No Camilo, don't think like that.' He chastised himself, shaking his head so hard his curls whipped against his face. 'Your familia cares about you, you know that. Don't let these thoughts cloud your mind. You're just tired. Go to bed and things will be better in the morning, you'll see.'
Deciding to listen to the voice in his head, the brunette made his way upstairs and entered his room, hoping to get a few hours of rest before being called for breakfast. That didn't happen. Instead, he lay awake, listening to the sounds of the house shifting around him. He tried to rest, no one can say he didn't, his mind simply wouldn't turn off. Thoughts raced through his head... every mistake he'd made in recent times, as well as some from the past, coming back to haunt him. With how loud his mind was it's a wonder his sister couldn't hear. All too soon, and yet not soon enough, morning was dawning. Camilo waited, listening, until Mirabel knocked on the doors to wake the household. Once he was certain he wouldn't seem suspicious, the boy headed downstairs after plastering a smile on his face. He couldn't let the others know how worried he was.
'It's fine, everything is fine. Just smile, Camilo, and no one will notice.' He told himself, sitting at the table.
Even so, he couldn't stop the thoughts swirling in his head like an inferno. What if he shifted one of these days and couldn't change back? What if he got stuck and was never able to be himself again? He couldn't say any of this out loud, though. If Abuela heard... if she knew that he was scared of his own power... what would she do? Would she send him away? Would he have to leave like his Tio Bruno? Where would he even go? Encanto was the only place he'd ever known and the poor boy was beside himself, sure that he wouldn't survive if he was forced to leave his home.
"Mijo, estás bien?" He heard his mamá speak, tone worried as a darkening cloud appeared over her head.
Realizing he'd let his smile drop, Camilo quickly pasted it back onto his face and nodded. Acting had always come naturally to him and this was no different. If he could act out stories for the kids in town then he could act happy for his familia. He couldn't afford to let his facade slip.
"Si, there's nothing to worry about, mami." He reassured, proud that he'd kept his voice from shaking. "Just a little tired."
"You should try to get more sleep, Camilo." His papá added, peering at him from across the table. "Don't stay up as late tonight, bueno?"
"Yea, no problem... may I be excused?" He asked, needing to get away before he broke down and told his parents everything.
He saw his mom glance at Abuela who gave a subtle nod. The red-haired woman then turned back to him and smiled kindly, reaching out to pat his hand.
"Of course, just remember that you are supposed to be babysitting Señora García's toddler later today." She reminded, smiling proudly. "I'm so proud of you, hijo. You are doing great things with your gift."
He just smiled, the internal conflict raging in his mind not showing as she pinched his cheek. A moment later he saw her frown. Gently turning his face this way and that, his mother tsked softly.
"Camilo, where are your freckles?" She asked, concerned, and he felt his heart drop.
He knew he'd forgotten something. The teenager had a tendency of shifting in his sleep so every morning he made sure he was himself before leaving his room. He didn't want people asking questions about why he'd shifted so early. To his knowledge, the only one who knew about his involuntary night shifting was his sister, who was currently looking at him with worried brown eyes.
"Well, um, I just wanted to see how I'd look without them?" He hurriedly came up with an excuse, wincing internally when it came out sounding more like a question.
"Okay then, but you know how cute I think they are." His mamá declared, tone taking on a teasing inflection.
"Sí, lo sé" He responded, stiffly rising to his feet. "I'm gonna go. See you guys in town later!"
With that, he left the dining room, feeling his hermana's gaze burning his back the entire way. It wasn't until he was halfway to his room that he noticed a sheet of paper laying on the floor near his door. Picking it up, he felt his heart beat wildly as he read what was written.
Don't hide your insecurities behind a smile, it'll only lead to deeper hurt.
Maybe the escritor misterioso is right, he admitted to himself as he closed the door behind him.
"I'll try talking to them later today." He told himself, steeling his nerves.
He knew it wouldn't be easy, but, he also knew he couldn't keep living a lie. Making his way to one of the many mirrors that littered his stage-like room, the boy sighed heavily. Then, glancing at the picture taped in the corner, he concentrated, gathered the image of what he wanted to look like in his mind, and shifted. Opening his eyes, Camilo smiled. His freckles were back in their rightful place. Taking another look, he was happy to see that nothing else was out of place. With a tired yawn, the fifteen-year-old decided to take a nap. Hopefully, now that he'd decided to address his concerns with his parents, his brain would allow him to rest.
-XXX-XXX-XXX-
Several days later, Camilo was milling around the house as the rest of the Madrigals headed to work. He'd spoken to his mamá and papá the night he'd received the note, explaining everything he'd kept hidden inside... all his worries and fears. After a tear-filled discussion that took place under umbrellas due to his mother being unable to stop her rain from falling, they came to an understanding. The hug that followed was one full of relief as his parents told the teen they were proud of him and that he didn't have to shift if it made him uncomfortable. That's how he found himself in his room, debating what he should do today as he didn't feel like going into town with the rest of his family.
Deciding he shouldn't waste the day, Camilo figured he'd go out for a walk before returning for lunch. He didn't make it far, however, as upon reaching the first floor of Casita, he noticed the group of children peering through the windows. With a weary sigh, the jokester opened the door and allowed the kids to come tumbling in.
"Juancho, Alejandra, Cecilia?" He questioned as the three gathered around him excitedly. "What are you guys doing here?"
"You didn't come into town so we decided to come find you!" Alejandra exclaimed, her purple skirt twirling as she spun on her tippy-toes.
"Si, we wanted to play with you!" Juancho added, just as enthusiastically. "You always tell the best stories. It's so cool how you shift to act out the roles."
Camilo sighed, he should have known he wouldn't be able to get out of shifting. It was who he is, after all. Who would he be without his gift? Still, he had to give it a try.
"Sorry guys, I don't really feel up to playing with you today." He spoke, voice quieter than usual as he awkwardly rubbed his arm. "We'll play some other time, lo juro."
"Please, Camilo?" Cecilia begged, her big, pleading eyes piercing his soul. "Just one story?"
The boy sighed, he knew it would be no use. Nodding his head in defeat, Camilo herded the small group into the parlor and got them set up on the sofa. He then told them to stay put while he went to grab them a snack from the kitchen. He was actually stalling, though the kids didn't need to know that. As he took out a plate of his tia's homemade sweets, the boy noticed a paper sitting on the counter. Moving over to see what it was, he was surprised to find another note. This one left him just as speechless as the last. He read the words over and over again... his brain failing to comprehend what was written at first.
Be yourself, it's the best person you can be.
With a smile slowly forming on his face, a thought settled in Camilo's head... bringing with it a sense of relief. Sure, he took on different features when he shifted but that didn't mean it was any less him. His personality didn't change, it remained the same no matter how his outward appearance shifted. He was still him and that is exactly who he wanted to be. Feeling more confident in himself and his abilities than he has in a long while, Camilo headed back to the kids. It was time to put on a show.
-XXX-XXX-XXX-
The next morning, Camilo headed into town with the rest of his familia, ready to be of use in any way he could. He spent most of the day babysitting, helping out when someone needed an extra pair of hands, and simply doing anything else that was needed of him. It was a long, stressful day but, overall, he felt he'd done a good job. He liked helping others. It made him feel happy. He only wished he could take a moment for himself every once in a while. He would never say that aloud though, after all, he knew many of his other family members felt the same and they never complained.
He was just about to head home when he heard a voice call his name. It was Señora García. She was rushing towards him with her toddler tucked into her side. The boy was sound asleep (not surprising considering the sun had set an hour previous), his head resting on his mamá's shoulder, and she had a bag tucked under her free arm. He waited for her to catch up to him, giving her a confused and slightly alarmed look as she thrust the slumbering child into his arms.
"I'm so sorry to spring this on you, but can you look after my little Carlos tonight? I completely forgot I'd made plans with some friends and it's too last minute to cancel." The older woman explained, fidgeting with the bag in her hands. "I have all the things you'll need. He should sleep through the night but if he wakes up I've packed his favorite stuffed animal, some snacks, a picture book, and a change of clothes in case of an accident."
Camilo opened his mouth, about to say how exhausted he was when she pushed the bag into his arms, nearly causing him to drop her son in his surprise. As he attempted to juggle the sleeping toddler along with the newly added bag, Señora García rushed back the way she'd come.
She only stopped long enough to call back over her shoulder, "Gracias, Camilo, you're a lifesaver. I'll be over sometime tomorrow morning to pick him up." Before continuing on her way... leaving the stunned shapeshifter standing in the middle of the road with his mouth hanging open.
'Did that really just happen?' He asked himself, glancing down at Carlos as he let out a soft snore.
Yes, yes it did, and now he was exhausted and had a toddler to care for besides. Sighing in defeat, Camilo turned towards home. He knew that the rest of his family had probably already turned in for the night and that he'd have to do this on his own. It was his responsibility, he was the babysitter, but he'd also never cared for a child overnight. What if something went wrong? As if he'd summoned the bad luck upon himself, Carlos blinked awake as soon as he'd shut Casita's door. For a moment, everything was fine, then the boy looked around, eyes widening in fright, and he let out a loud cry.
The teenager rushed for his room, hoping that he wouldn't wake the rest of his family. Luckily, no one seemed to realize and he made it through the glowing doorway with no trouble. Carlos was still crying, however, and he had to get the tyke to calm down. He did everything he could think of, from shifting into the boy's mother, to offering him his teddy, to making funny faces... nothing seemed to work. He was nearly panicking himself! What was he supposed to do? Frustrated tears filled his eyes as he rocked the upset toddler. He was completely out of his depth. He needed help... but what then? He should be able to handle this on his own. It was just babysitting! Sure, it was unexpected... and he hadn't really been given a choice in the matter... but still, he'd babysat this same child numerous times in the past. What was so different this time? Was it because it was nighttime? Because he was already exhausted? Whatever it was, Camilo couldn't stop the doubt that was coiling around his heart like a snake, causing all his insecurities to come to light as the child in his arms continued to cry.
As a tear slipped down the teenager's face, landing on the toddler's cheek, the boy finally quieted. He glanced at Camilo with confused eyes, as if he couldn't understand why the older boy was crying now too. It nearly caused the brunette to laugh in relief, instead, he headed for his door. Stepping into the dimly lit hallway, he realized that he didn't have a plan. He simply knew he needed to do something. When he saw the note tacked by a nearby candle, he grabbed onto it like a lifeline.
It's okay to rely on others, needing help is a natural part of life.
Muffling the sob that tried to escape, the anxious teen realized that he didn't have to do this alone. Sure the job had been thrust upon him, rather unfairly he might add, but he had a family who would support him. The note had reminded him that he could count on them to have his back whenever he needed them to. So, turning towards his parent's room, he gathered his nerves and knocked on the door... not even bothering to force a smile onto his tear-stained face.
AN: Hope you like the chapter! Let me know what you think :)
