Disclaimer: I do not, nor will ever, own the Twilight Saga, or any of its characters and plots.


TW: This story will contain references to child abuse (physical, mental, sexual), self-harm, and suicide attempts (both past and present).

This chapter in particular contains a brief description of severe child abuse and attempted suicide.


All

In the beginning, there was one.

Ilyssa Collins existed in one body, one mind, the only child of Andrew and Patricia Collins. That singularity lasted a mere three years.

Disowned by their traditional families for a child born out of wedlock, Andrew and Patricia Collins grew hateful towards the small creature they had brought into the world. The abuse began shortly after Ilyssa's second birthday.

Meals withheld, hands smacked, knees bruised from being pushed to the ground.

By the time Ilyssa turned three, she was still the size of a healthy two-year-old, barely able to say more than two words, and only able to walk to keep up the appearance of a normal child. It was when Andrew had her in the corner, lips cracked and bleeding from thirst, and wrist swollen from being stomped on, that her fragile psyche broke in two.

The newly born Isabel withdrew into the safety of her mind whilst Ashlyn stared blankly up in her place.

Ashlyn remained silent through the abuse, refusing to cry out, and so, her abusers grew harsher. They switched from hitting with their hands to hitting with a belt, leaving bright red welts across her back and bottom that caused her to grow use to sleeping on her stomach.

About six months after the first split, Ashlyn broke. In the dead of night, as she lay shaking and trembling in her cot with only a thin, holey blanket to protect her from the winter chill coming from her open window, Ashlyn split into two.

Lane retreated, taking the memories of the worst of the abuse while Ash curled up tighter under the blanket.

However, all was not well with Isabel. It only took one miscalculation on Lane's part to break the once oblivious girl into three – Isla, who remained unaware of the others, Izzy, who swore to protect herself and everyone else from any more harm, and Irina, who vowed never to trust again.

Because of his failure in shielding Isabel from Andrew and Patricia, resulting in her breaking once more, Lane found himself at odds with Ash, who was meant to protect them.

Lane became an outcast among the alters, and it was no surprise to anyone when he finally buckled under the pressure, his psyche splitting shortly after their sixth birthday into Dolan, the trauma-holder, and Onyx, the psyches' first tormentor.

It was Onyx who first attempted suicide only two weeks after his creation, and his attempts would only grow more frequent as they grew older.

With every attempt on their life, Andrew and Patricia grew harsher towards their only child. Unaware of the effects their actions have had, they assumed, in their mind, Ilyssa was ungrateful for everything they had given her.

There was no compassion.

A final split occurred when the abuse shifted towards something darker. The alters hadn't seen it coming, thus when Irina split into two the day of their tenth birthday, whatever trust they had gathered broke completely.

Eden was born the moment Andrew defiled their body with his own; Sylas was born the moment their childhood was stolen from them completely. Eden, the best defense against the sexual intrusion, and Sylas, the last remnant of innocence, was born from Irina's shattered psyche.

And so, it was, years later, their body safely cocooned between the only two men that they knew for sure they could trust, that the seven broken pieces of Ilyssa's mind gathered for the first time in full awareness of each other.

Isla, a small girl with long blonde hair and sad green eyes, looked around herself, blinking in shock at the six others.

Ash, a boy with an athlete's body, short brown hair, and intelligent brown eyes, gave her a comforting smile. She, out of everyone there, would be the most disturbed.

Izzy, a punkish girl with spiked blue hair and green eyes that shone with mischief, leaned against the wall of their mind between the two doors that had once been Isla's bedchamber, and Sylas' playroom, respectively.

Eden and Dolan, almost twins in appearance, with their long dark hair and almost black eyes. Eden was sprawled out on the couch, a small smirk on her face, while Dolan was standing stiffly behind her, his scarred hands on the back of the couch.

Sylas, a boy of about nine, with curly blonde hair and bright blue eyes, sat on the floor at Eden's feet, beaming up at Isla.

And finally, perhaps the most dangerous of them all, Onyx stood the furthest away, next to the roaring fireplace. The flames sent shadows across his face, illuminating his icy blue eyes and dark brown hair. He was by-far the tallest, and also the most menacing.

"Who-who are you?" Isla stammered, stepping back, but she already knew their names.

Izzy grinned.

"Aww, come on, Isla, you don't remember yourself?" She teased.

She thought this whole thing was humorous.

"Don't scare her. This is progress." Ash chastised lightly, stepping forward, but paused when Isla flinched back.

"Progress? She's absolutely terrified of us." Eden scoffed.

This was all ridiculous, she thought to herself. How could you be afraid of yourself?

"You're… me?" Isla asked quietly, looking at Ash.

He was the less intimidating.

"Oh, don't be daft. Do you even know who you are?" Onyx muttered.

Isla looked at him.

"What?" She blinked.

He turned towards her fully, fixing his eyes on hers.

"What's your name?" He asked, his voice harsh.

He didn't care that she flinched back, nor that Ash and Izzy both stepped forward protectively.

"Isla…" She whispered, and it sounded more like a question.

He fought the urge to roll his eyes.

"And yet everyone seems to think your name is Ilyssa, don't they? But your name isn't Ilyssa. Your name is Isla."

Why did he have to spell everything out?

She opened her mouth and then closed it.

"It's because we were once all Ilyssa, and then bad stuff happened, so our mind tried to protect us by breaking itself into different pieces!" Sylas spoke up, his voice far too cheerful.

He didn't understand why everyone was dancing around the subject.

"'Bad stuff'?" Isla asked softly. "Like… like D-Damien?"

The name sent chills down all of their spines.

"Worse." Dolan murmured, looking down at his hands.

The scars had come with the memories. It was one of the few things he had that matched the outside body, though many of the scars outside had faded.

"Didn't you ever wonder why you couldn't remember much of your childhood?"

Ash was resigned. He couldn't hide this from her anymore; it wasn't fair. She was as much of the original mind as any of them were.

"I-I just thought I had a horrible memory." Isla admitted, biting her lip.

"Stop that." Ash, Eden, and Izzy said at once, and then glanced at each other in amusement.

"Look, Ilyssa's childhood was messy and fucked up, thus Dolan hid the worst of the memories to keep her from falling into insanity." Onyx said impatiently, once again ignoring Ash's and Izzy's glares of protest.

He met Isla's eyes.

"Severe child abuse – all types. Whatever you can think of, it's worse."

Isla sat down heavily, her breaths coming in short pants at the very thought. How could she have been so unaware of her own trauma? What else had happened and she didn't know?

Ash sighed at Onyx's bluntness, crossing the room, and kneeling in front of Isla. Izzy came to sit next to her, taking her hand.

"Horrible things happened to us… but we survived, yes? We are alive, and we have Jasper, and Edward, and each other." He said strongly.

Isla nodded, blinking away tears.

"Should we try to become Ilyssa again?" She asked quietly.

Eden sat up straight on the other couch, her eyes fiery.

"Fuck that. You're not shoving me into a box." She shouted.

Sylas' eyes widened and he jumped up.

"You want to get rid of us?"

His voice broke.

"Hush. The way our life is going, it will take decades to reconvene into one being – if that is even possible." Izzy said, rolling her eyes at them.

She turned to Isla.

"Recovery comes in many forms. Our recovery just might mean being together like this. Besides, if we did reconvene, you wouldn't even exist – not really."

Isla froze, her eyes widening. She wasn't the original? But then… who was? Who was truly Ilyssa?

Dolan sighed.

"None of us are the originals." He explained, answering her thoughts like he had heard them.

She must've been thinking too loudly.

"Ilyssa's mind first broke into two beings – Isabel and Ashlyn. Ashlyn broke into Ash and Lane, and then Isabel broke into you, Izzy, and Irina. Lane broke into me and Onyx. Irina broke into Eden and Sylas."

"So, if we decided to become one again, if we could figure out how to do that in the first place, none of us would truly exist anymore." Eden summarized with a huff.

She twirled a strand of dark hair around her finger, looking into the fire.

"Would we die?" Sylas asked, leaning back against her legs.

Onyx scoffed, turning towards the fire.

"The only way we would die is by killing the body." He muttered, disgust in his voice.

Why the boy would ask after death was beyond him. The boy was the at the pinnacle of innocence.

"Which reminds me, we need to rest. I'm sure Jasper and Edward will have a lot of questions for us." Ash said, standing up.

He concentrated on a part of the floor, and a large bed with dozens of fluffy pillows appeared.

"Yay!" Sylas exclaimed, hopping up and jumping into the bed.

He claimed one of the pillows, wrapping his legs and arms around it. Dolan sighed, but joined him, his jeans and shirt melting into pajamas.

As the others claimed their spots, Izzy squeezed Isla's hand.

"Don't worry," the punk girl whispered, "We are in this together."

Isla smiled tearfully and nodded, and they joined the others.