Disclaimer: I do not, nor will ever, own the Twilight Saga, or any of its characters and plots.


TW: This story will contain references to child abuse (physical, mental, sexual), self-harm, and suicide attempts (both past and present).

There will also be themes of rape and dubious consent (dubcon), as well as consensual sexual scenes between teenagers. If this bothers you, I recommend not reading further.


Onyx

She sat on the roof of her parents' house, overlooking the garden that she used to sit in as a child. It was a four-story fall to the ground, but her legs still dangled over the edge. She wasn't afraid of falling. She hung out on cliffs, for god's sake.

Edward and Jasper sat at the top of the slanted roof, but she could feel them watching her. She wasn't surprised – this was the first time she'd come to the Front since those boys defiled her. They probably expected her to jump.

She laid back, looking up at the starry sky. She'd woken up in a cold sweat, the memories of the past haunting her. Izzy lingered in the back of her mind, ready to jump in if needed, but everyone else was asleep or isolated.

There was a sort of peace that came with being alone in the dead of night. She knew that she wasn't truly alone; Jasper and Edward were only a few meters from her, after all. But… they didn't really count. They'd become almost a part of her, just like the people in her mind. She couldn't imagine life without them.

Then again, she'd said the same thing about Damien. She flinched at the thought that snuck through her mind. The fact that Ash hadn't even allowed her access to their mind whilst in Damien's care made her furious. She ought to throw herself off the roof in pure spite.

She sat up quickly, and without a single glance backwards, she did just that. She had barely reached the second floor before Edward had his arms around her, taking the brunt of the fall while she remained uninjured, held safely in his arms.

"What the hell, Onyx?" Jasper spoke, his voice harder than usual.

A laugh slipped through her lips, hysterical and sounding quite unhinged. She paid no mind to the tears slipping down her face. The sadness only made her want to throw herself off the roof again, and that was beautiful.

Jasper's calm fell over her in waves, followed quickly by exhaustion. She relaxed against Edward, burying her face in his collar as she closed her eyes.

"You smell nice." She mumbled sleepily.

A warm wind brushed against her skin, and then, she found herself lying on her bed, Edward's arms wrapped around her.

"You do as well." He whispered, pressing his lips to her head.

She smiled against his skin, falling into Hypnos' clutches…

It seemed like only a moment had passed when she opened her eyes again. Edward was gone. In fact, the entire house was silent.

She stood up, glancing at the lightening sky. They would doubtlessly return soon, which left her only a small-time frame to do what needed to be done.

She hurried downstairs, going directly to the kitchen drawer that she had never actually opened before, retrieving her father's hunting knife. It seemed only fitting that she should die by his tools.

She went out to the garden, trying not to think too hard about what she was doing and alert Izzy, or worse, Ash. The flowers were deflating, getting ready for the winter that would soon be upon them. It seemed like the last three months had gone by quickly, and yet she felt like she'd known the Cullens for years.

She hoped they would remember her when she was gone, but she was leaving no note. They would only find her bloodless corpse among the flowers she'd taken comfort in as a child. She wondered if Damien would care.

The blade was indeed sharp, cutting easily through her flesh as she drew it from the middle of her wrist vertically to her forearm. It was paralleled by three other lines from her other attempts, crossing over the lines that she'd made not to kill herself, but in an effort to feel something.

She gasped at the dull burn, the stinging as the knife went deeper, cutting through veins.

Activity exploded in her mind, but something was blocking the others from coming forward. This was it. This was the moment she died. The cut on her other wrist was less neat, less deep. Already, she could feel the effects of the blood loss.

She tossed the knife away from her, lying back on the ground. The sky was a beautiful blend of pink, orange, and yellow. She turned her head away, closing her eyes. Only a few seconds later, she heard shouting.

"No!"

Hands brushed against her skin, almost warm.

"I'm sorry." Jasper whispered, and then, burning shocked her system, making her eyes fly open.

He was holding the worst of her arms, his mouth moving quickly over the wound.

"Onyx…" Edward said, his voice filled with sorrow before he lowered his mouth to her other arm.

She couldn't find the strength to scream despite the agony rushing through her. Instead, a low moan of pain fell from her lips.

"S-stop. Let us die." She breathed, but they weren't listening, closing the wounds with their venom.

She tried to jerk away from them, but their hands held her firm.

"We need to get her to Carlisle." Jasper said, lifting his blood-stained mouth from her arm.

His normally golden eyes were amber. Her hand shook as she lifted it to his cheek. It took all of her energy just to do that. He kissed her palm, meeting her gaze.

"You're going to be fine, darlin'."

She wasn't, not really, but how could she tell him that? Her eyes slid closed, and she drifted.


Ash

He woke to the sound of beeping, three sets of eyes, two amber and one gold, watching him.

He wasn't in a hospital, thank god, but rather in the same room Carlisle had done his fractured wrist exam in. The last thing he remember was lying in the grass in Damien's backyard, burning to death… and Jasper somehow saving him. Was that why he was hooked up to the heart monitor?

He glanced down at the tubes in his arm, blanching at the very red scar down his wrist. His head fell back on the pillow, his eyes staring up at the ceiling. The beeping picked up immensely. Who had tried to kill them – aside from the obvious vampires they'd been kidnapped by for two weeks?

"Breathe." Carlisle instructed gently.

Ash complied, focusing on taking deep breaths until the beeping slowed back to normal.

"Very good. Now, you've lost quite a bit of blood yesterday, but I've managed to replenish most of it with a transfer from an anonymous donor. You may feel a bit of dizziness for the next few days, but they stoppered the bleeding just in time to prevent permanent damage." He said, and then hesitated, looking down at his clipboard.

"I have drawn up a list of trusted mental health professionals if you desire to talk to someone other than us. While Edward does have his master's in psychology, you may find it difficult to speak to him about certain aspects of your life."

Ash kept his eyes focused on Carlisle, refusing to look at the two amber-eyed vampires.

"Okay." He said, his voice emotionless.

Carlisle glanced up at him, a glint of worry in his eyes. Ash looked away, studying the swirly pattern of the blanket he was wrapped in. He considered what might have happened if Jasper and Edward hadn't saved them in time.

Did the afterlife exist? Would he even be admitted into Heaven, or would he burn in Hell for something he couldn't remember doing?

"We are all here for you, if you ever need us." Carlisle murmured, placing his hand over Ash's.

Oh no. Words were bubbling up, called forth by the compassion in Carlisle's eyes. He really ought to remain silent.

"I never told him to stop." Ash flinched at his own words, expecting Carlisle to pull away in disgust.

Silence came over the room, and the doctor murmured, "I'm sorry, but I don't understand. Can you explain what you mean?"

Shame rushed through Ash, and he wanted desperately to shut up, to push down the feelings rising up inside of him.

"When Damien was using me, I never told him to stop. I-I wanted him to continue. I gave my c-consent." He stammered out, a hint of regret forming in the back of his mind.

Carlisle didn't want to hear about his issues. Hadn't he just offered a list of psychiatrists, just so he wouldn't have to hear about them?

"Tell me, Ash, what were you thinking when you decided to go with him?" Carlisle asked, his voice gentle.

"He was going to kill all of us if I refused. I-I was trying to protect us."

He looked down, no really knowing what Carlisle was getting at.

"And when he took you away, when it was just the two of you, did you stand any chance against him? If you wanted to, could you have rejected his advances?" Carlisle asked patiently.

A chill went down his spine at the doctor's words. He already knew the answer, but that didn't change the way he had arched into Damien's touch, the way he had longed for Damien to return.

"No." He whispered.

"So, you were still doing what you needed to do in order to survive. Damien has a gift, doesn't he? The person I saw when we came for you wasn't moving of their own free-will. My guess is that he used your fear to get into your mind long enough to trap you. He made you believe that you wanted to be with him, that there was no other option. From my perspective, you never truly consented, but rather was coerced through your desire to live, and then his own manipulation." Carlisle explained.

Ash looked up, surprised by how quickly he had rationalized Ash's plight. And yet, the more he thought on it, the more it made sense.

"Oh." He muttered.

Carlisle smiled gently, and then began to remove the needles from his arm.

"Alright, you're all set." He said when he'd finished.

Ash hopped out of bed, catching himself on the side when his legs suddenly turned to jelly.

"I'm fine. You weren't kidding about the dizziness." He waved off Carlisle's concerns.

He was surprised when neither Edward nor Jasper offered to help him, instead walking out of the room together.

"I guess we're leaving. Thank you for everything." Ash said before he followed them as quickly as he could.

He waved and smiled to Esme when he passed her, and she smiled back, tears in her eyes. He was slightly out of breath when he finally got into Edward's car, barely getting fastened before Edward sped out of the driveway.