"Doesn't seem like all that long from when we saw you last," Sirius said as they settled into their meals in the private dining room of the Three Broomsticks.

"Not that long, but happy early Christmas," Luna said cheerfully.

"Happy early Christmas to you too, nice earrings," Sirius said, nodding at Luna's color changing christmas baubles.

She smiled. "I enchanted them myself."

"Well done, that's above your year level," Remus said. "How is everything at Hogwarts? We heard you had some trouble with your study group meeting."

"Well, Professor Umbridge refused to allow our study group to reform. Apparently it wasn't a matter of whether or not Rachel was in the group, but rather she suspects us of cheating," Hermione said, her tone suggesting she was still upset about that accusation a month later. "Which we obviously are not cheating."

"Obviously not," Remus said soothingly. "While it's clear from your essays that your group is working from the same material, it's also obvious that you each do your own work."

"Which we do," Hermione said.

"We do," Theo said. "And none of the other teachers believe Umbridge and in six months from now we won't have to worry about Umbridge at all."

Rachel nodded. It had taken all of them to talk Hermione down from confronting Professor Umbridge, particularly because Professor Umbridge's accusation had been made only to Severus and Professor Dumbledore. They really weren't even supposed to know about it. Clearly it was still a sore subject.

"So you're working in pairs now, trading off?" Remus asked.

The group looked at each other and then at Rachel. Rachel shrugged. She thought they were trustworthy, but she wasn't sure she should speak for the whole group.

Sirius smirked. "You're still meeting. Did you say that the penalty was expulsion if you're caught?"

"We're very careful. We go to another location first, use Disillusionment charms, and we move around separately. And we do have some help," Rachel said quickly. "There's actually something of yours that came into our possession recently."

"You have the map? But how?" Remus asked.

"My brothers, actually. The twins. They are quite eager to meet you," Ginny said.

"I told them I'd ask, it's up to you if you want to reveal who you are," Rachel added.

"Also, the Marauders?" Theo asked. "Were you a gang or something?"

Remus flinched slightly but Sirius' smile grew broader. "Or something," Sirius said.

"As for Fred and George, we'd be willing to speak with them after they finish at Hogwarts," Remus said.

"But how did you make it? It's incredible," Neville asked.

"When did you start? How long did it take you to finish it? Did you find the spells in the library?" Hermione asked.

"And, more importantly, how likely do you think it is that someone else could come up with something similar?" Theo asked.

"Easy, let them answer," Millie said, clearly amused.

"We started it late in our third year, it was actually Remus' pet project to map the castle. We thought he was a bit odd, but quickly realized how much of an advantage a map could be, especially when no one else had one," Sirius said.

"It wasn't just that I was mapping the castle," Remus corrected. "I had noticed some odd dimensions, rooms that didn't seem to fit, places that went beyond what the outside of the building should contain. I didn't know about space expansion charms yet. So I picked the third floor and started trying to map out the spaces."

"And found a hidden staircase in the process." Sirius nodded. "And while we had already spent plenty of time exploring the castle, we realized that we had never done a devoted search to see all the secrets that Hogwarts was hiding, and believe me, there are many. We had a new mission."

"Once we'd mapped a few floors, we realized that it would be useful if we could make note of various passwords and secrets. Those were the first enchantments we added to the map, and eventually we made it so that the map would recognize its own location and show the password or the secret when the mapholder was at that location," Remus explained.

Rachel hadn't even realized the map could do that. Clearly she needed to take a closer look at all the secret passageways.

"To answer your more pressing questions, Hermione and Theo, we did learn what we needed to know in the library, though some of it was from the Restricted Section. And it's entirely possible that other students could recreate it, though I'm a little bit doubtful that anyone would put in the time and effort. We were still adding to it when it was taken from us by Filch in our seventh year. Filch cornered me and James and confiscated everything from our pockets," Sirius said, an expression of irritation flickering across his features before he resumed smiling.

"While there are many enchantments on the map, the one that makes it so useful is the Homonculous charm, which allows the map to track and recognize everyone in the space that is being mapped. We had to do a few modifications to get the ghosts to show up, and we gave Mrs. Norris a potion to get her to show up," Remus continued.

"You gave Mrs. Norris a potion? Was she alright?" Rachel asked.

"She was fine, no harm done," Sirius said.

"But you were at Hogwarts almost twenty years ago. How does Mr. Filch have the same cat?" Millie asked.

"Well, kneazles are long lived, more so than ordinary house cats," Remus said.

"But she's not a part-kneazle, Mr. Filch said so," Rachel said.

"I don't know then, maybe she's just a very old cat. I've heard of cats living into their mid-twenties," Remus said with a shrug.

"Are there spells or potions to make animals live longer?" Neville asked.

"There are, but that my friend is dark arts, which I am reliably told isn't a subject for mealtime conversations," Sirius said.

Mr. Filch definitely wouldn't have done that then, Rachel figured. She fiddled with her fork and then set it down and reached for her butterbeer.

"Yes, indeed," Remus said after a moment. "I suppose the important thing is that you are all being careful and I can see that you're putting the map to good use."

"It is helpful, especially right now. We're a little concerned that Umbridge may be having some of us followed, so it helps us check to see if we see the same people near us," Theo said.

"We are being very careful," Hermione agreed.

"Anything else happening at Hogwarts?" Sirius asked.

"Not much. We're studying a lot, but not as much as we were before," Millie said.

"Gryffindor played Ravenclaw three weeks ago. Cho nearly edged me out for the Snitch, but I got it. It was close though," Ginny said.

"Well done. When does Slytherin play again?" Sirius asked, looking at Rachel.

"We play Gryffindor at the end of January," Rachel said, glancing at Ginny. That was going to be a very tough game.

"Good thing our Chasers are going to cream you because I don't know if I will ever catch the Snitch while you're playing," Ginny said, shaking her head.

"Don't count our Chasers out just yet. And a lot of Seeking is luck. You still have a chance," Rachel said, feeling a little bad that Ginny felt that way.

"Sometimes I think you use all your luck on Quidditch," Millie said.

Rachel shrugged uncomfortably. It wasn't something she tried to do. She wouldn't mind losing at Quidditch from time to time if it meant the rest of her life was less intense.

"One day I will get to see you play a game," Sirius said.

"I wouldn't try to come on school grounds while Professor Umbridge is there. I don't think she'd like you very much," Luna said.

Sirius chuckled. "That's probably true. Maybe next year, assuming someone worse doesn't take the Defense position."

"If someone worse takes the Defense position I'm dropping the class," Neville said.

"It's impossible. There can't possibly be a worse Defense teacher than Umbridge," Theo said firmly.

Rachel decided not to point out that Theo used to say that about Lockhart.

"I don't think it's likely anyway, Albus has someone in mind for the Defense position for next year, he's just getting his credentials in order," Remus said.

"On the bright side, it's been three and a half months and nothing too catastrophic has happened yet," Ginny said with a shrug.

"I think I'd call Professor Umbridge attempting to dose Rachel with Veritaserum and banning our study club as much of a catastrophe as we can handle for the moment," Theo said.

"Yes, no more catastrophes please." Hermione sighed. "Just once it would be nice if we had a quiet year."

"After seven years at Hogwarts, I can promise you that there is no such thing as a quiet year at Hogwarts." Sirius smiled again, but it seemed a little more brittle this time.

"Unfortunately I must agree," Remus said. "I remember my time at Hogwarts fondly, for the most part, but it was never quiet."

Rachel nodded. At least it wasn't just them. If her parents had managed it alright, so could she.


"Alright everyone. Thanks for joining us, I know we're all excited for the upcoming holiday but we have a good lesson for you today," Hermione called, the room going quiet in response. "These are spells that many of you will know already, but maybe haven't utilized to their full potential. They're mostly viewed as nuisance spells, but they have some legitimate uses in combat as well."

Ginny stepped forward. "This is what I call sneaky, low powered combat, and if you're all good I'll teach you the Bat-Bogey hex at the end too. The main five spells we're focusing on today are the Leg-Locker curse, the Tongue-Tying curse, the Impediment jinx, the Knockback jinx, and the Tripping jinx. Any guesses as to why these five?"

Katie raised her hand. "Because they disrupt the flow of spell casting without hurting anyone and give you a chance to disarm, stun, or use the Incarcerous spell."

"Yes, exactly. While we're going to teach some more dangerous spells later, we think it's a good idea to know things that aren't quite as bloody and that people might not expect. So we've set up cushions all around, so try to land on them if you fall over. We're not stunning today, but feel free to disarm, dodge, or use a Shield charm. For those of you who already know the spells and feel confident in them, partner up or work in small groups. We'll take everyone who needs to learn or who wants a refresher course over there," Ginny said, pointing to the side of the room that contained both cushions and dummies to practice on.

The lower years and about half of the fifth years went to join Ginny, Hermione, and Neville for lessons. Rachel looked around and saw the sixth and seventh years organizing themselves in a tournament, Cedric and Roland in the middle of directing people.

"I think I'm going to adjudicate that, just in case," Theo said, stepping away.

Rachel noticed Ron, Terry, Anthony, and Draco looking like they didn't quite know what to do. "Let's go help them," she said to Millie and Luna.

"Do you want to try out some of the spells?" Millie asked the boys once they'd arrived.

"Sure, we know them, but I'm not facing off against people who can cast silently," Anthony said, looking over at where the upper years were organizing themselves.

"I guess you don't want to pair off with me then," Draco said.

"I'll pair off with you," Luna volunteered.

Draco stared at Luna and then looked at Rachel questioningly.

"Luna is pretty good, she's sneaky, even if she can't cast silently yet," Rachel said.

"Alright then," he said after a moment. "After you."

"Let's go by the cushions, I'd rather not get bruised," Luna said, leading the way.

"You and me then?" Terry asked Anthony.

"Sure, then we'll trade off with the others," Anthony said. The boys left to go to their own cushions, leaving Millie and Rachel with Ron.

"Would you like to try? We can try just casting the spells first if you want to practice before we really start," Rachel offered to Ron.

"I saw you against Moody. And against Draco a few weeks ago. I'm not as fast as you," Ron said after a long moment.

"That's okay. It's not like this is a real fight, we don't have to go fast," Rachel said, wondering what she could say to make this better. "I'm not going to try to hurt you."

"You think I can't do it?" Ron asked.

"We're sure you'll do fine, Rachel just doesn't want you to feel like she's attacking you. We're not bullies," Millie said.

Ron looked to where Draco and Luna were partnered. Luna was shielding more often than not, but she occasionally sent a spell Draco's way. "Why are you friends with him? You might not be a bully, but he is."

Rachel hesitated. "Is Draco, is he still targeting you in the hallways?"

"Not this year, but he still calls me a blood traitor," Ron said, scowling.

"Draco is kind of an ass," Millie said bluntly. "He believes the pure-blood superiority shit, and in general he's just a bit mean."

Ron was looking at Millie now, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

"What? I'm not friends with him either." Millie shook her head.

Rachel sighed. "I want to help him. I don't want him to become a Death Eater. I don't want to end up fighting him in a war. We became friends over Quidditch and potions, but while I don't approve of some of the things he says and does, I don't think he's a terrible person and I don't think he wants to become a murderer."

Millie and Ron were both staring at Rachel now. "Rachel. I don't think you can save him. I don't think it works like that," Millie said softly, putting her hand on Rachel's shoulder.

Rachel bit her lip. She didn't know what to do. All she knew was she had to do something about Draco. She watched as Draco finally disarmed Luna, knocking her over in the process. He brought her wand back to her and helped her back to her feet.

"You really think it's going to come to that?" Ron asked quietly.

Rachel turned to face Ron again. "What?"

"That's why we're doing this club isn't it? It's not just because Umbridge is rubbish, it's because-" Ron cut himself off, looking frightened.

"We're not training anyone for war," Rachel said firmly, keeping her voice low. "We just want for people to have a chance to defend themselves and escape if they need to."

"Did Professor Dumbledore ask you to do this? Did he ask you to train us?" Ron asked, quietly but urgently.

"No, and he doesn't know about the club, and neither do any of the other professors, and it has to stay that way," Millie said. "Rachel's right. We're not teaching anyone to fight Death Eaters. None of us are ready to fight Death Eaters."

Rachel nodded. "It's just about staying alive and staying safe."

Ron frowned. "It's really going to come to war. Just like that."

"I can't see this ending any other way. The Dark Lord isn't going to stop." Rachel glanced around, but no one was paying them any attention. The upper years were gathered in a circle, cheering and calling to each other as two people battled unseen in the center. On the other side of the room they had progressed to practicing the Leg-Locker curse.

"Do you hear things about what's going on? My oldest brother, and my parents, they're all...involved. But none of them will say anything in their letters," Ron asked.

Rachel pulled out her wand and cast a privacy ward around the three of them. "Not much. They don't like to tell me too much about the war. From what I can tell they're watching the Death Eaters they know about pretty closely, but no one is making any moves right now. There's stuff going on in the Ministry, the Death Eaters are trying to sway Fudge, and of course they pushed Professor Dumbledore out of the Chief Warlock position this summer. Sirius said that they still have enough people in their voting group to keep things from being passed, but not by much, and they think there are threats and bribes being made. I don't think there's been any actual fighting."

"That doesn't sound much like war," Ron said after he considered this for a moment. "I would have thought there would be attacks, and fighting, and the aurors. But, I suppose, if they can take the Ministry without any fighting, it's better for them."

"Probably. The real problem is that the Death Eaters are preparing and recruiting while the Ministry is just sitting there. If Fudge would just believe Rachel and Professor Dumbledore, then we'd be a lot better off." Millie's frustration was obvious, both in her tone and her clenched hands.

"My brother Percy, you've met him. He doesn't believe either. He works for the Ministry. Had a bad row with my parents, left my mom crying," Ron said, looking away.

Rachel nodded, recalling that Ginny had said something similar. "Eventually they'll have no choice but to believe. The Dark Lord won't stay hidden forever."

"You really fought him?" Ron asked.

"I don't think I'd call that fighting him. He gave me back my wand, used the Cruciatus on me twice, and then I cast the Cutting hex at him while he cast the Killing Curse at me, and well, something really weird happened with our wands and I managed to get away and summon the portkey to get out of there," Rachel said, a little embarrassed.

"Wow." Ron seemed impressed despite her lack of finesse during the actual fight.

"Which is why we're teaching the lessons this way. It's like Rachel said, it's not about fighting them, it's about still being alive to get away," Millie said.

Ron nodded. "You'll practice these spells with me, then?" he asked, sounding uncertain.

"Sure," Rachel said, eager to be done with this conversation. She dismissed the privacy ward. "Let's get some cushions, just in case."

"I'm going to join Anthony and Terry if you're alright, here," Millie said.

Rachel looked back at Ron. "Yeah, I think we're fine now."


The transition back to her own body was so abrupt that it took Rachel a moment to realize that the sound she was hearing was herself screaming. Her head felt like she'd been hit by a hammer and her scar felt like it was tearing open.

"Rachel! Rachel!"

"Should I go get Professor Snape?"

"Oh Merlin!"

"Rachel!"

"Help, we need to get help," Rachel managed to say, her throat feeling raw. She remembered all too well the feel of her fangs sinking into Mr. Weasley. The taste of blood and venom. She pressed her hands against her head, holding it together. It hurt to open her eyes.

"Rachel, are you sick?" Millie asked insistently. It seemed to be her hands on Rachel's forearm and shoulder.

"I need Severus, we need to get help," Rachel said, trying to push her way out of her blankets without moving her hands. Her head hurt so much, but even more important was getting help for Mr. Weasley, and for that she needed Severus.

"Okay, can you stand up or should I go get him?" Millie asked, moving with Rachel.

"I can walk," Rachel insisted, getting her feet situated, even though she nearly sank down to her knees once she was standing.

"Should I go too?" It was Pansy, coming closer and holding her lit wand up.

"No, I've got her," Millie said. "Hand me my wand though."

"I've got it," Daphne said.

"Thanks. Here we go. Lumos. Can you walk?" Millie asked, one hand half supporting Rachel.

"Yes, we have to hurry." Rachel opened her eyes just a little. The light, as low as it was, hurt.

"Okay, we're getting help, we'll be to Professor Snape in a few minutes," Millie said, letting Rachel set the pace.

By the time they reached the corridor outside the common room Rachel felt a little more steady on her feet, even though her head was still throbbing. "We have to hurry. He might still be alive," she said, holding tight onto Millie's hand and trying to walk more quickly while not losing her balance.

"Almost there," Millie said. "You'll be okay."

Severus' office door opened when she twisted the handle. "Severus! Severus! We need help!" she called as loudly as she dared, knowing that the wards on Severus' office would also be waking him up. She made it a few steps before she sunk down to her knees, Millie bending down with her.

"Should I send my Patronus?" Millie asked.

Before Rachel can answer, Severus came through the permeable wall in his pajamas with his wand out. "Rachel. Are you hurt?" he asked, kneeling down next to her.

"No. Mr. Weasley. In the black tiled corridor. He's dying. Please, he needs help," Rachel said quickly.

A moment later there was the bright silver light of a Patronus. "To Albus Dumbledore. Urgent. Disturbance at target. Injuries reported and assistance needed. Source unverified," Severus said.

"He'll know, he'll know where to go?" Rachel asked, closing her eyes again. Her stomach was churning in time to the throbbing in her head.

"He knows. You're in pain?" Severus asked. "Your head and your scar?"

"Yes."

"Acknowledged. Wait for my response before proceeding," came Professor Dumbledore's voice. Rachel assumed he had sent his Patronus to Severus.

"Wait right here. I'll be right back," Severus said.

"What was that?" Millie asked once Severus was gone. "You saw Mr. Weasley get hurt, in your dream, but Professor Snape is...he's acting like it's real. And this happened before, last year, you had a dream where your scar hurt like this and we went to Professor Snape in the night. Is it like that?"

"Yes," Rachel said, not knowing what else to tell Millie. She could still feel the cold floor against her scales, except she didn't have scales, she had feet and knees, and they were against the stone floor. And she remembered hate, such a powerful hatred when she scented Mr. Weasley. And then striking, up in the air, and her fangs digging in and striking again. Blood. Blood had poured into her mouth. Rachel slid hand down from her head to cover her mouth. She thought she was going to be sick.

"Pain Relieving potion first," Severus said as he came back into the room and knelt down by Rachel. "I'm going to open it and then put the vial into your hand. Can you drink it yourself?"

She wasn't entirely sure she could, but she nodded and reached her hand out. The small glass vial was cold and she quickly drank the contents and tried not to gag.

"If you uncover your scar, I can put the Healing Salve on it," Severus said steadily.

Rachel let her hand move from her scar, even though not having pressure on it made it hurt worse. The Healing Salve was cold and was a relief against what felt like a burning brand.

Severus stood again. "You're both probably freezing. Blankets and socks, I think."

A moment later she felt Millie move and then a blanket being draped over her shoulders.

"Are you well, Millie?" Severus asked.

"I'm okay. We were all a little scared. Rachel started screaming in the night and she wouldn't wake up. I was about to send my Patronus to you when she woke and said that she needed to come here," Millie explained.

"Thank you, I appreciate you bringing her to me. If this happens again, go ahead and send your Patronus directly to me from the moment you can't wake her," Severus said. "How much did she say in front of Miss Parkinson and Miss Greengrass?"

"Just that she needed help and needed you. She didn't say anything about Mr. Weasley or her scar," Millie said. "Is it, is it somehow that Rachel is dreaming things that are really happening, related to You-Know-Who?"

There was a long pause and Rachel stayed kneeling where she was. Her head and scar hurt less now, but she still felt a little ill. Even more so, she didn't want to deal with all of this.

"You have the essentials, though we cannot explain further. Obviously this information must not be made public for a number of reasons. It is very important that it is kept a secret," Severus finally said.

"I understand. I promise. Can anything be done to stop it?" Millie asked.

"We are endeavoring to do so. As for Miss Parkinson and Miss Greengrass, we shall have to say that Rachel occasionally has severe nightmares that she struggles to wake from and that bring on migraines, hence her pain and need to come see me," Severus said.

Rachel didn't particularly like that explanation, but she didn't have one that better fit what Pansy and Daphne had seen.

"Rachel, are you feeling any better?" Millie asked.

"A bit," Rachel said. Her stomach still felt a bit queasy, but the pain in her head had settled to a dull throb somewhere behind her eyes.

"Rachel, I'm going to get you settled in my quarters and then walk Millie back to the dorm. Do you need me to bring anything back apart from your glasses and your wand?" Severus asked.

"My jumper that's on my bag, in my wardrobe," Rachel said, unsteadily pushing herself to her feet. She was chilled after being on the stone floor for so long, though she couldn't tell if she was shaking from the cold or if it was just from everything that had just happened.

"I can get that for you," Millie said. She stepped forward and hugged Rachel. "It will be alright," she said quietly.

Rachel hoped that it would. She wasn't sure how much she dared hope until they heard about Mr. Weasley though. "Okay. Thank you." She hugged Millie back, glad to feel someone warm and real, even if it was just for a moment.

"I'll be back in a moment," Severus said to Millie before turning to Rachel. "Let's have you take a seat by the fireplace in our quarters. Do you want tea?"

"No tea," Rachel said. She did not want to throw up tea.

"Alright," Severus said, placing a guiding hand on her shoulder.

Rachel let herself be guided through the wall and over to the couch.

Severus pointed his wand at the fireplace and a moment later the flames rose up to make a comfortably roaring fire. Another flick of his wand conjured a pair of wool socks, which he handed to her. "Will you be alright for a few minutes?"

"Yes, I'm okay now," she said.

He considered her for a long moment and finally nodded. "I'll be right back. If Albus comes, let him know that I'll be here in a moment."

"Okay," Rachel said. She hoped Professor Dumbledore was off helping Mr. Weasley.

She watched him leave, put on the socks, and then pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders. She was alright, now that she knew where she was, and who she was, and what she was. The memory of being a snake was vivid. She knew what it was to slither. She knew how to scent the air in a way that allowed her to see what was beyond her sight. She knew how to coil, how to spring, how to strike.

Rachel shuddered. She really hoped her animagus form wasn't a snake. She wouldn't have been opposed to it before, she liked snakes as a whole, but she never wanted to feel that way again.

Part of her wished that Severus hadn't left her alone, but part of her wanted him to take longer to come back. She recognized that he hadn't wanted to ask her details while Millie had been there, but he would want to know when he came back. Even knowing that the snake hadn't been her, she still felt guilty about it. She had attacked Mr. Weasley. It had been different from those times when she could hear the Dark Lord's voice. Those times she hadn't felt the hatred. She hadn't felt the desire to kill.

She wasn't sure how long it had been when Severus returned. He immediately came to the couch. "Your wand, your glasses, and your jumper. I trust you're wearing the phoenix pendant that Albus gave you?"

"Yes, right here," she said, feeling for the gold chain. She had completely forgotten it in her rush to get to Severus.

"Good. I think it's fine that you didn't summon him for this," Severus said.

Rachel pulled on her jumper over her nightgown, stood to wrap the blanket around her waist, and then put on her glasses. The room, and Severus, became clear and she abruptly felt inordinately tired. It had been a long week and according to the clock on the mantel it was just approaching midnight.

"I told Pansy and Daphne our cover story, which they seemed to believe. Their main concern was if you were well now," Severus said as he took a seat in his armchair.

She sat back down on the couch. "Did it have to sound so…"

"So what?" he prompted when she didn't finish.

"So weak. And childish," Rachel said. "Only kids have nightmares like that."

"I can assure you that's not true. There are plenty of adults who have severe nightmares, myself included," he said steadily. "In any case, I made it sound more like a medical issue, hence the resulting migraines that explain your physical pain and your need to seek me for treatment. I do not believe Pansy and Daphne think that you are weak, do you?"

Rachel shrugged. She had no idea what they thought of her, especially right after something like this had happened.

"I can also assure you that you are not the only student in the school who has special circumstances, you are not even the only student currently in Slytherin House with special circumstances that can require a Healer's intervention," Severus continued.

She hoped that whoever it was, it wasn't as embarrassing for them as it was for her. Or as painful. "Do you think- can Professor Dumbledore get to Mr. Weasley in time?"

"I don't know. Can you tell me what happened?" he asked.

"A little bit. It was different from any of the other ones. I was a snake, and I was in the black tile corridor. And I scented a man, he was almost asleep. But he woke up and I felt hatred, not anger, but hatred, and I bit him. I coiled up and I bit him with my fangs, and I struck again, and I could taste the blood and the venom."

"No," Severus said firmly.

Rachel opened her eyes in surprise.

"You must not think of it that way. You did none of those things. You don't scent things. You don't have fangs or venom," he said, oddly intense.

She hesitated. "Are you mad at me?"

Severus sighed and stood up. He came over to the couch and sat down next to her. "No, I'm not mad at you. But this is very important. Very. You cannot allow the Dark Lord's mind to become your mind. You are Rachel. You know yourself. You know your thoughts and your feelings. You did not feel that hatred. It was the Dark Lord who had those feelings, it was the Dark Lord's hatred. In the dream, or vision, whatever you'd like to call it, you felt his hatred. But recognize that difference. His hatred, not yours."

"Like in the animagus meditations?" she asked.

"I am not familiar with them, so I cannot say."

"The first is knowing your body, knowing how your muscles feel, how the weight of your body feels, how it feels to breathe with your own lungs and how to blink and how to clench your hands and stretch your toes. The second is knowing your mind, and your thoughts, so that you're familiar with who you are. That way you don't lose yourself to the animal, so that you can always come back to your human self because you know who you are," Rachel explained.

"Yes, then very much like that," Severus said.

"Are you worried about me being possessed by the Dark Lord? Is that a possibility?" Rachel asked, hoping that wasn't what he was thinking.

He sighed again. "I don't know. Until tonight, I would have told you that I didn't believe that the Dark Lord could possess anything now that he was back in a semi-human form. The fact that he was able to possess a snake, in a location where his body had to be at least some distance away from, and then additionally establish the connection to your mind…well I don't know what it means."

"Could he be an animagus, and the snake was actually him?"

"Again, until tonight, I would have said no, that the Dark Lord is not an animagus. Not to mention how changing bodies or being non-corporeal might have affected that. I don't think it is likely, but I do not know," Severus said. "As far as I'm aware, the entire situation, the Dark Lord's rebirth and your mental connection to him, are unique. Since we don't know what to expect, or what is possible, we need to be vigilant."

Rachel fiddled with the edge of the blanket. She knew that supposedly no one had ever survived the Killing Curse before, but Severus had said that was because her mom had protected her, not because of something unique about her. But these visions she was having, this connection, that was her. At least partially. "Do you think the Dark Lord is seeing visions about me? Do you think it goes both ways?"

"I don't know, my guess would be no. To be honest, considering the abomination that came out of the cauldron in that graveyard, I'm not even sure he sleeps."

She shivered. She tried not to think about it too much, but whatever the Dark Lord had returned as certainly wasn't entirely human. "In the dreams, visions, that I see, it's always of violence. Well, except for the dreams about that hallway, which we think he's sending on purpose. Maybe since I don't do anything like that, it wouldn't...transmit." She found she didn't quite have the vocabulary to describe what was happening.

"Perhaps. Albus and I think that it's likely the connection is one-way, but we can't be certain. I imagine the Dark Lord would have little interest in watching you go about your day regardless."

"Even though he wants information about me?" she pressed.

"Even so. How long would you estimate the glimpses you get last?" Severus asked, adjusting how he was sitting so he wasn't twisting to see her.

"This one, with the snake, it was fast. Maybe a few minutes. When I watched Professor Karkaroff die, I'd say that was maybe ten minutes, maybe a little less." She didn't like to think about that either.

"And it's happened twice in the past six months, not counting the dreams that he's sending you of the corridor leading to the Department of Mysteries. If we make the assumption that the same is true in reverse, then I think there is fairly little he can learn, even if he is viewing some of your more emotionally volatile moments," he said steadily.

Was she emotionally volatile? She frowned as she considered his words. She didn't think she was, not usually. Upset, on occasion, maybe. That usually did happen around Severus though. "Do you think it's happening because he's emotional during those moments? He didn't cast a spell this time."

"It seems like it's at least related." Severus stood and drew his wand as the flames in the fireplace changed.

"Severus, may I join you?" Professor Dumbledore called.

"Yes, Albus. Rachel and I are here," he said.

A moment later Professor Dumbledore stepped through the fireplace.

"Is Mr. Weasley alright, sir?" Rachel asked, unable to force herself to wait.

"Arthur has been brought to St. Mungo's, where he is receiving care. He was alive when he arrived. I do not know his prognosis," Professor Dumbledore said.

Rachel relaxed a little bit. At least he'd gotten help as quickly as possible. At least he was still alive for the moment.

"May I sit, Severus?" Professor Dumbledore asked.

"Yes, please," Severus said, sitting back down next to Rachel once Professor Dumbledore was settled in his armchair.

"I'm told there were no signs of Death Eaters by the time Emmaline and Kingsley reached Arthur. Molly is already at St. Mungo's and I've asked Minerva to bring the Weasley children to Grimmauld Place tonight so that they're nearby in London should they need to attend their father," Professor Dumbledore explained.

In case Mr. Weasley was dying, Professor Dumbledore meant. Rachel felt her muscles tense again. He wouldn't have brought them there if he hadn't thought there was at least a possibility of Mr. Weasley dying tonight.

"I'm afraid I must ask some questions." Professor Dumbledore paused, his gaze settling on them. "Was anyone else alerted to what happened? Rachel's roommates perhaps?"

"Millicent Bulstrode is aware that Rachel is receiving visions from the Dark Lord, but not of their contents. She is aware that this is an important secret, and I do not believe she will betray Rachel. Miss Parkinson and Miss Greengrass have been told that Rachel occasionally experiences severe nightmares with migraines and none of the contents of the dreams was revealed in front of them," Severus explained.

"Millie has kept secrets for me before, even from the rest of our friends. She won't tell anyone," Rachel promised.

Professor Dumbledore nodded. "I'll trust your judgment. Rachel, can you describe for me what you saw tonight?"

Rachel exhaled and tried to find the right words. "I was a snake. Or, the Dark Lord was a snake, but I could feel everything, I felt like I was a snake. I could smell like I was a snake. The snake was in the black tile corridor that I keep dreaming about, it was cold, almost freezing, and I - the snake smelled a man there and then saw him. He was almost asleep, but he woke up. And the snake felt hatred, the Dark Lord hated him, and the snake coiled up and sprung, and bit him and then again, and I could taste blood and venom."

He nodded slightly, his expression thoughtful. "Is there anything you can describe about the snake? Its size, or its color or pattern, perhaps?"

"No, I couldn't see the snake. I was the snake," she clarified, though she thought that she'd made that pretty clear the first time. "Bigger than a garden snake though, I, I mean, the snake bit Mr. Weasley right about here," she said, placing her hand at the bottom of her ribs. "And he was standing."

"A way to check our defenses, but not get through the door. Curious," Professor Dumbledore said, seemingly to himself. "Rachel, do you recall our conversation a little more than a month ago, where I suggested that you learn occlumency to access your own mind?"

"Yes, sir."

"I know you are very busy, but I believe the time to learn is now. We must take steps to protect your mind while we still can. I'd like you to begin occlumency instruction with Severus over the Christmas holiday."

"Yes, sir," Rachel said, because what else could she say.

"Severus, begin with finding a way to have Rachel open her mind to you and assess the situation from the inside. I do believe there must be an opening somewhere inside that is allowing Voldemort access," Professor Dumbledore continued. "Please keep me up to date with your progress, and of course, any visions or new sensations in your scar."

"As you wish. We'll begin tomorrow after we've had a chance to rest," Severus said.

"Yes, of course, it is quite late. Were there any more questions?" Professor Dumbledore asked.

"In the future, if I have a vision, and someone might be dying, like Mr. Weasley was tonight, do you want me to go to Severus or do you want me to use the pendant you gave me?" Rachel asked.

"If you can reach Severus, go to him. Send him a Patronus if need be. If he doesn't respond, send your Patronus to me and tell me that there is an urgent problem, but don't be more specific than that. I will send my Patronus to you with further instructions. If you are in danger and unable to reach help, or if you are incapacitated and cannot reach help, please use the pendant," Professor Dumbledore said.

Rachel nodded. It was good to know when she was allowed to contact the Headmaster.

"If there's nothing else, I'll leave you for the evening," Professor Dumbledore said.

"We'll speak tomorrow," Severus said.

Professor Dumbledore left through the fireplace after throwing a handful of floo powder in.

"Do you think you will be able to sleep tonight?" Severus asked.

She was tired. She thought she could sleep if she could keep herself from thinking about Mr. Weasley and the fact that he might be dying. "I think so."

"Alright. If you find yourself unable to sleep, you're welcome to return to this room and read or rest out here," he said, watching her.

"Thanks," Rachel said, knowing full well that she wouldn't because it would wake him up. "Are you going to sleep?"

"It will take a little while, but yes. I can stay up with you if you wish for company."

Rachel shook her head, collected her wand, and got to her feet. "No, thank you. Goodnight then."

"Goodnight. Please let me know if you have a problem in the night."

"I will." It was mostly not a lie. She would tell him if she had another vision or anything like that. Otherwise, she'd be alright, even if she just laid there for the rest of the night.

She left her jumper on and placed the blanket Severus had conjured for her over her bed. She was still chilled. Wishing she had her stuffed bunny, she climbed between the sheets, closed her eyes, and tried to think of nothing.


It was nearly half past ten in the morning when Rachel emerged from her bedroom in Severus' quarters. She'd laid awake for a few hours after she'd gone to bed, worrying about Mr. Weasley and trying to push away the memory of being a snake, but she had eventually fallen asleep after going through all of the animagus meditations in order.

"Did you sleep alright?" Severus asked, looking up from the newspaper.

"Eventually," Rachel said. "I missed saying goodbye to people before they took the train."

"They'll be back soon and I know you can speak to your friends in your book. What do you want for breakfast?"

She sighed. "Can I get a pass today? I'll eat at lunch and dinner, I promise."

"Are you still in pain?" Severus asked, putting the newspaper on the side table and turning to fully look at her.

"No, I feel fine. I just don't feel like eating right now. Please."

Severus seemed to hesitate, his gaze fixed on her. "Will you at least drink a glass of juice or milk?"

"Yes, I can do that. Pumpkin juice," Rachel said, glad he was willing to compromise.

"I'll ask for it to be sent up from the kitchen. I assume you wish to go back out into the castle?"

"Yes, Theo's still here, isn't he?" She knew he had signed up to stay - when she'd last seen the sign-up form, they were the only two people in Slytherin House staying.

"As far as I'm aware. I probably do not need to say this, but I will say it anyway, continue to be cautious. Umbridge will still be here for most of the holiday," he said, getting to his feet.

"Believe me, she's the last person I want to see. We'll stay well away from her," she promised.

"Good. After dinner tonight we'll begin your occlumency lessons. Are you planning to sleep here over the holiday?"

"Yes, though I'll be in and out. I don't want to abandon Theo, but I want to spend some of the holiday with you too." Rachel didn't like the idea of leaving either of them lonely over the holiday, but she'd have to figure out a way to make sure they both had company.

"That's fine." Severus threw some floo powder into the fireplace and bent down to speak with the House Elves.

A moment later a glass of pumpkin juice and a napkin appeared on the table.

"Have we heard anything more about Mr. Weasley?" Rachel asked as she went to the table.

"No, I haven't spoken with Albus yet. I will check in with him later today," Severus said, settling back in his chair.

Rachel nodded. Surely they would know if he had died in the night, wouldn't they? She sipped at her juice, trying not to let her thoughts spiral.

"What are your plans for today?" he asked.

"Hang out with Theo, mostly. We'll probably just read or something," Rachel said. She'd have to see what Theo wanted to do.

"That's fine. Be in the Great Hall for lunch and here for dinner."

"I will," Rachel said. She needed to go get her shoes too. She was still wearing the socks that Severus had conjured for her last night.

One glass of pumpkin juice and a hasty goodbye later, Rachel made her way back to the common room and immediately found Theo lounging with a book on one of the couches in front of the fireplace.

"I'd hoped you would turn up here eventually," Theo said as he sat up.

"I overslept a bit," Rachel admitted, sitting down on the couch across from him. "If I hadn't found you here I would have sent my Patronus to find you."

"Millie said that something happened last night, but that she couldn't tell me," he said, seeming casual, but there was a certain intensity in the way he was looking at her.

Rachel bit her lip as she thought. She knew it was a secret, but Millie knew, and Theo was just as trustworthy as Millie. Besides, he was already keeping an important secret for her. And she really wanted someone to talk to. "It is a secret, one that could be pretty dangerous. Do you want to know, even if you can't talk to anyone about it, even the rest of the group?"

Theo nodded. "I'm good at keeping secrets. And I want to help, if I can."

"I'm not sure there's any helping with this. We're trying, but I don't know if it's going to work." She was a little skeptical about Professor Dumbledore's occlumency plan, but she was willing to at least try.

"Why don't you tell me what it is first?" he asked, settling back against the couch.

"In my sleep, I'm having visions of the Dark Lord. Or, from the Dark Lord, I guess."

Theo frowned. "In what way?"

"I see things from the Dark Lord's perspective, things that are happening right then. I saw him kill Professor Karkaroff this summer. I saw him attack Ginny's dad last night." She decided to leave out the bit about being a snake for the moment. This was complicated enough as it was.

He tapped his fingers on his thigh as he seemed to be thinking. "Okay, first, Ginny's dad? Is he okay?"

"I don't know. He was still alive when they found him and they brought him to St. Mungo's, but they also sent all the Weasley children to London last night, in case he was dying," she explained.

Theo nodded once. "Okay. Just these two times?"

"No. There's been two other times, last year, and then there's also visions that he's sending me. He wants me to go somewhere." Rachel felt she wasn't doing a very good job of explaining all of this.

"So the Dark Lord knows that he's sending you these visions?" he asked.

"At least the ones about where he wants me to go. We're not sure about the others. We're not sure why he'd want me to see those."

Theo put his fingers up to his lips. "And Professor Snape, he's finding a way to make these visions stop?"

"And Professor Dumbledore. They think teaching me occlumency will help."

"I don't know what that is."

"It's a type of mind magic, it's supposed to help shield and protect your thoughts and memories. I already have an occlumency shield, but it's not helping. I'm not sure why Professor Dumbledore seems to think it will help." It had been something she'd been wondering about for a while. He seemed certain that occlumency was the right answer, but both the Unspeakable and Severus hadn't been able to get into her mind.

"Are there any other options that you're aware of?" Theo asked.

She shook her head. "No. And it doesn't hurt to try it, so I might as well."

"In general I would say that it makes sense to try what Professor Dumbledore suggests. He knows a lot of things about obscure magic. I think it's really important that the visions stop."

"Even though Mr. Weasley probably would have died if I hadn't seen it and told people where to find him?"

"Even though. Don't get me wrong, I hope Ginny's dad is alright, I really do. But...I've heard a lot of things about the Dark Lord, Rachel. A lot of things. Supposedly he can just tear through someone's mind and take whatever it is that he wants, and people usually don't come out of the experience too well. I don't want that to happen to you. I think you need to do whatever is necessary to protect your mind and make it so that the Dark Lord can't get in." Theo looked about as serious as she'd ever seen him.

"You think it's like a foothold, where if he can get in a little bit now, he can start doing more later?" she asked. It was a possibility she hadn't considered and Severus hadn't exactly answered her question about possession either.

"I think our best option is not finding out by putting a stop to it now. Do you want me to see what I can find out about occlumency and we can try to put something together?" he asked.

"No, Professor Snape is teaching me, he's an occlumens." At least she'd have a good teacher.

"Good. I'm not sure what else we should do in the meantime, but it's a place to start. And, besides, if anyone was good at hiding his mind from the Dark Lord, it would have to be Professor Snape. He never could have been a spy otherwise," Theo said with a tone of approval.

"That's true. What did you want to do today?" she asked. Telling Theo hadn't exactly made her feel better, but she was glad that she didn't feel quite so alone with all of it now.

"I want to take the morning off. Do you know how long it's been since we've had a real break? We can figure out something fun to do after lunch. And it's Christmas Eve, so no studying."

"Yeah, we can have a few days off. I'm going to go get my shoes and a book," she said, getting back to her feet.

"Do you always forget your shoes when you're in a hurry?" Theo asked with a smile.

Rachel blushed. "Last night, Millie and I were just in our nightgowns. It was just really important that we told Professor Snape that Ginny's dad was hurt."

"It was and I'm glad you did," Theo said, pulling his book back into his lap.

"I'll be back in a few minutes," she said. She went off toward her dorm room, wondering what it was that she wanted to read.


"This works for a narrow corridor, with doorways, just like most of the side corridors that don't have classrooms," Rachel said as she walked down the ersatz hallway in the Room of Requirement. "If we send groups of maybe three down, with three attacking, that should work for evasion and escape, right?"

"I think so." Theo opened one of the doors, closed it, and then opened another one. "These are all empty rooms, a little bit bigger than a cupboard. Do we want to point that out to them, or let them get trapped?"

"Or have an attacker hide in one, but that might get more complicated." Rachel opened the door closest to her and decided she definitely wasn't going inside. Even with the door open it would feel too small.

"Maybe just direct evasion then," Theo said. "Do we want to use this one or ask the room for something different?"

Rachel looked around again, measuring the hallway with her eyes. "It looks like it would take about one minute at a run to get around the corner, I think that's plenty of time considering we're putting thirty people through it. I think this will work. If we give them a five second head start, that should make it like they're being chased from somewhere else."

"That's all the rooms I can think of that we'll need until the Easter holiday then, assuming Hermione doesn't want to make any changes. We're starting Patronuses once everyone gets back, right?"

"Yes. Hopefully by then people will have come up with some happy memories to use." When they'd announced that they were going to start Patronuses after the Christmas holiday, most people had been skeptical. Ginny had cast her Patronus and asked them that if she could learn it as a third year then what was stopping the rest of them. Everyone had seemed suitably impressed. Rachel had just been glad someone else had stepped up to show off their Patronus.

"Or make some new happy memories, it is Christmas. I think we should do a basic Healing course toward the end of the year. Nothing fancy, just how to stop bleeding, what to do if someone's hurt, that sort of thing," Theo said as he came to a stop next to Rachel.

"First aid," she said, remembering the little bit of it she'd been taught in primary school. It had been simple things - hold down tight with a clean cloth if someone is bleeding, don't remove something from a wound, stay with someone if they hit their head, how to call emergency services.

"What?"

"Muggles call it first aid, it's stuff anyone can do before a doctor or a nurse gets there," she explained. "Hermione would probably know more of it than I do, but it's not a bad idea either. And Millie might know some basic Healing spells from her mom."

Theo nodded. "We can ask people in the books later, once Christmas stuff is over."

And once they heard about Mr. Weasley. Rachel had looked in her two-way book before lunch, but no one had written anything since their notes yesterday.

"What do you want to do now?" Theo asked.

Rachel shrugged. She'd suggested the Room of Requirement as a distraction when they'd both been left at loose ends after lunch. It was snowing, and she didn't particularly feel like going out regardless, nor did she really want to spend Christmas Eve in the library. "We should do something Christmas-like."

Theo looked puzzled. "Like eggnog and Christmas carols?"

She made a face. She wasn't all that fond of eggnog and she certainly wasn't about to sing anything. "I have an idea, but I don't know if it will work. Let's go back out into the hall."

"Okay, if you say so," he said.

They went around the corner and waited a moment for the room to disappear. "Okay," she said, going back into the hallway, down past the ballet troll tapestry and she began to pace slowly while thinking hard. The Christmas trees in the Great Hall, fairy lights, lightly falling snow, seeing Diagon Alley at Christmas, walking through Hogsmeade at Christmas, Christmas wreaths, stockings on the mantel, Christmas cookies, presents.

She came to a stop after three times and was a little surprised to find that the room had formed a doorway. She had very carefully avoided thinking of Father Christmas and reindeer, just in case something weird happened. "Do you think the elves that Father Christmas has are House Elves?" she called to Theo.

"What else would they be?" Theo asked, coming up to her.

Rachel smiled. "Remind me and Hermione to find you a picture of what muggles think elves look like."

"That's concerning on a number of levels. So, what's in the room?" he asked.

"We're going to find out what Hogwarts thinks about Christmas."

"Or, what Hogwarts thinks you think about Christmas," he pointed out.

Rachel shrugged and opened the door. "Wow."

"How did you get it to snow inside? It wouldn't rain when we tried it last," Theo asked, looking around before taking a step inside.

She joined him inside the room, pulled the door closed, and held out her hands. "I don't think it's real snow. It's not wet. Or even cold."

Theo cupped his hands together and examined the flakes. "But they still disappear after a moment." He dropped his hands and looked around. "This is your Christmas?"

Rachel looked around too. They were in what the room seemed to feel mimicked the outside, with big evergreen trees with snow laden branches. The sky above was grey and flakes of the impossible fake snow were gently falling. To the side there was a cottage with fairy lights decorating the outside, a wreath on the door, and through the big window they could see a huge Christmas tree inside decorated with lights and baubles. "An idea of Christmas, at least. Do you want to try to make one?" she asked, curious as to how the room might interpret his idea of Christmas.

He shook his head. "No, this is fine. Let's go in there."

They went into the cottage and found a roaring fire in the hearth, stockings hanging from the mantel, and a cozy two-seater sofa in front of the fire and next to the Christmas tree. Rachel sat down and looked out the window at the fake snow falling. From in here, she couldn't even tell that they weren't really outside.

"Is it weird that I'm glad to be at Hogwarts for Christmas? And that this Christmas and last are the best Christmases I can remember since my mother died?" Theo asked, his expression pensive as he sat down next to Rachel.

"No, it's not weird at all. I'm glad to be at Hogwarts for Christmas and all my best Christmases have been here," she said, and then paused. "I mean, I imagine that the Christmas I spent with my parents when I was an infant was good, but I don't remember that."

Theo nodded.

"Is there a reason you didn't want to go back to the Zabinis for Christmas?" she asked. She hadn't asked him when he signed up to stay because there were a ton of people around, and she hadn't really had a private moment along with him again until today.

"Blaise's step-father is dying. This will be their last Christmas with him, and it's not going to be an easy one. I didn't want to be in the way," Theo said, shaking his head.

"That's kind of you," she said. She wondered if there was something they could do for Blaise, but she still didn't know him very well at all. Besides, there wasn't really a lot to do about someone's parent dying.

Theo shook his head again. "It's not really kindness on my part. I didn't want to be there for that."

Rachel thought for a moment, trying to find the right thing to say. After all, this was also Theo's first Christmas after being separated from his father. "Are there any Christmas traditions you want to keep from your family?"

"No. I mean, I shouldn't complain to you. I can imagine what your Christmases were like before Hogwarts," Theo said, glancing at her.

She shrugged, but he seemed to be waiting for an answer. "Not great. I spent a lot of time in my cupboard. I'd help cook the meals. Some years I'd get a few coins of pocket change. One year I got a pair of my uncle's socks." She wasn't sure what else to say. Christmas had been no more or less terrible than the rest of the time, really.

"Merlin. Like I said, I shouldn't complain," he said.

"But you can if you want to. I know things weren't great with your father either. Just because they weren't exactly like mine, doesn't mean it wasn't hard."

Theo leaned back against the sofa cushions, his eyes fixed on the fireplace. "I received age-appropriate gifts. Books, robes, the occasional toy. And we would have Christmas dinner together in the dining room. I have never cooked a meal for myself or for anyone else and wouldn't know where to begin. But, after my mom died, it was just empty. My father gave me gifts because he was supposed to. He would watch me open them and I would say thank you. And then I'd see him later for dinner. And then he'd leave for a Christmas party. And that's it. He never hugged me. It's like he forgot how."

Rachel wasn't sure what to do so she took his hand the same way she would have Millie's and gently squeezed it. He squeezed back.

"Professor Snape, he treats you well?" he asked, his tone a little uncertain.

"Very," she assured him. "I care about him, in a weird kind of way. It's not quite the same as it with you and with our friends, but it's similar. And I think he cares about me. He worries about me a lot."

"Good." Theo nodded to himself. "And we can have a good Christmas here at Hogwarts. I wish the rest of our friends were here, but I can understand why most of them want to be with their families right now, and the rest of them have to."

Rachel nodded. "We'll be alright. And we have time to take a break."

"I think we need it," Theo said, seeming to sink back further against the sofa.

She couldn't agree more.


"Have you heard anything about Mr. Weasley?" Rachel asked as she sat down for dinner in Severus' quarters. She jolted slightly as the food appeared and was glad she hadn't had her hands on the table.

Severus sat down. "I have. Albus said that Arthur is stable and will hopefully be allowed to leave St. Mungo's tomorrow."

Rachel exhaled and felt a tension that she hadn't realized was there relax. "Thank god. I'm glad he's going to be okay."

"Indeed, we were fortunate."

She picked up her fork and looked down at her plate. Chicken breast with a sauce of some kind, green beans, and some long grain rice. "Severus?"

"Yes?"

"Mr. Weasley would have died if I hadn't seen what happened and got help, right?"

Severus put down his glass of wine. "Yes. He needed immediate attention from the Healers. It was good that you were able to help Arthur, but that is not a good reason for allowing these visions to continue. We must stop them."

Rachel frowned. How did he always know what she was going to say? "Before, when I asked if he could possess me with the connection, you didn't really answer."

"Unfortunately I don't know the answer to that, and neither does Albus. However, I think it is highly unlikely. Possession is not at all a common thing, even in the Dark Arts. To truly possess someone you must leave yourself vulnerable. Your soul is temporarily abandoning your body. The only historical example I can think of is Emeric the Evil and accounts of that are unclear at best. Neither Albus nor I have an understanding of how the Dark Lord was possessing that snake, if he was actually possessing it and it was not something else entirely," he said.

She fiddled with her fork. "Do you think it's something where if he can get into my mind to send these visions now, he'll be able to do more later somehow?"

"I don't know that either," Severus said, pausing for a moment. "I can understand why this is frightening. There is a lot that we don't know."

She didn't think she was frightened. Not exactly. Worried would probably be a better term. "Do you think occlumency will really help? Professor Dumbledore seems like he thinks that it will."

"Albus is right that this is at the very least our first step. Once we've secured your mind, if the visions are still ongoing, there may be other steps that we need to take. It usually makes sense to try the obvious solutions before seeking out new solutions."

That at least made sense.

"Did you have other questions on this topic?" he prompted after a moment.

"No. I just wish we knew more," she said. She poked at the chicken and tried to muster her appetite. She had thought she'd feel better once she knew that Mr. Weasley was okay.

"I do as well. Did you have a restful afternoon at least?" Severus asked, starting on his own dinner.

"Yes. I spent time with Theo. We made sure to avoid Professor Umbridge when we went upstairs." That was easy enough with the map. Professor Umbridge had spent most of the afternoon in her private quarters and she and Theo had gone down the back staircase just in case. Maybe they could take a day and go looking at some of the secret passages. Could be both fun and useful.

"Good. Do you want a different meal? Would you prefer soup and bread perhaps?"

"This is fine, I like chicken." She started eating, trying to ignore the churning in her stomach.

"A Stomach Soothing potion?" he pressed.

"No, really. I'm okay," she said. It was Christmas Eve and she was fine. Torey had told her to try to tell herself that she could worry about things not at meal times. It was hard though. Sometimes she found that she was worrying without even thinking about it. "I'm glad we have a two week break," she said, reaching for something to distract both of them.

"I am as well. If I'm remembering my own schooling correctly, your OWL year will be the worst of it. Your NEWTs are important too, of course, but you'll be focusing more on what your specialized interests are."

Rachel nodded and started spearing green beans with her fork. "Do you think Hagrid will be upset if I drop his class?"

"I don't think that Hagrid's feelings should be a consideration in which classes you take. You will still be able to see Hagrid, even if you aren't in his class. And I'm sure he will understand that you can only take so many classes," Severus said.

She hoped so. She decided that she needed to make time during the holiday to go visit Hagrid again too. After a few more bites she set down her fork. If she ate anything else she was going to be ill and she really didn't want to do that. At least she'd eaten close to half of her food.

Severus looked at her plate and then at her. "Perhaps if you rested for a while and try a snack a little later in the evening?"

"Maybe. I am trying. I'm doing what Torey told me to do."

"I know. I don't fully understand why this is an issue, but I know you've been working on it with Torey. Do you think it's getting worse or better?" he asked.

"Better. I can eat a little in the mornings now." Usually it was just toast and juice, but it was more than before.

Severus nodded. "Then we will continue in this direction and I will trust you to tell me if you think things are getting worse."

"Thanks." She liked that better than him dragging her to the hospital wing with no warning.

"Do you feel ready to begin with occlumency or would you like to rest after eating first?"

She considered the possibilities for a moment. Really, she'd like to get it over and done with. "Will it be painful, because if it's painful I want to wait until my stomach is more settled." Just in case.

"It won't be painful. I won't be attacking your shields, I will be trying to direct your attention to them," he said.

"Now is fine then. Here or where we usually sit?" she asked.

"Let's go sit by the fire. I want you to be able to feel relaxed." He stood up, bringing what was left of his glass of wine with him.

Rachel followed him and took her usual spot on the couch.

"While usually legilimency requires eye contact, I can continue our connection after you close your eyes. So look directly at me for a moment and then close your eyes and follow my instructions. Are you ready?" he asked.

"Sure. I'll try," she said. She looked at Severus and met his gaze.

"Alright now close your eyes. I'm going to describe to you what I can see of your shields. I want you to picture them in your mind, just as though you were there."

Rachel closed her eyes and nodded.

"I am floating in a featureless mist. It surrounds everywhere except for a wooden wall. The wooden wall stretches both far above and below me, and as far to either side as I can see. The wall appears to be made of a medium dark wood, perhaps mahogany, and it is rough. When I touch the wall I can feel the grain beneath my fingers. Can you picture this wall?"

She could feel her face scrunching up as she tried to concentrate. A wooden wall. "How thick is it?"

"I can't tell from here, but I think we can assume it is at least as thick as any wall you might find here in Hogwarts. It feels stable and firm, there's no give to it whatsoever."

"Are there lines, or planks?" she asked.

"Yes, though the lines between the planks are very thin. The planks are fitted close together."

Rachel frowned. She wasn't good at this.

"Try picturing yourself next to the wall. Imagine touching it. Imagine feeling the grain beneath your fingers."

She resisted the urge to give up and open her eyes. How could this be so hard? It was just imagining something. She imagined things every time she read a fiction book. Maybe she had to pretend Severus was reading a book to her? Or that she was a character in a book? "I'm trying," she said, not wanting Severus to think that she wasn't.

"It's alright. Relax your face and your shoulders. Take a few deep and slow breaths. You mentioned working on the animagus meditations, this is similar to meditating. You are inside your own mind, there's nothing to fear there. Count your breaths if you need to."

She forced her shoulders back down and took a breath that filled her stomach and released it after a moment. Maybe she just needed to think of a wall, any old wall, and then she could change it to be like the wall Severus described? She pictured the wall that led into Severus' quarters, she'd seen that hundreds of times. It was stone and smooth, cool to the touch. She could remember that clearly enough that it was like seeing it.

Now she needed to change it. She remembered what wood felt like, so she imagined that first, the rough divots all in one sinuous direction. Then he'd said that it was a medium dark wood, like the trunks of the trees at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. And finally it was big, almost too big to be imagined. "Okay, a wall," she said, trying to hold the idea in her mind.

"Good. I now want you to picture opening a doorway in the wall. Find one of the seams in the wood and push forward, and imagine a doorway opening up."

Frowning, she imagined pushing against the wall, the feel of the wood beneath her hands. "Is there a door? Why isn't there a handle?"

"There's no door right now, but there will be if you make one. This is your mind. You make the rules. If you feel that there is a door, there will be a door. If you want it to have a handle, you can make a handle."

But why did her mind have a wall in it? "Is this what most people's shields are like?"

"No, but don't worry about that right now. This is your mind. Focus on the wall. You want to invite me inside, but I need a way in. If you don't want to make a door, you can make another opening of some kind."

She tried to focus on the wall again. Severus was waiting on the other side of the wall, she just had to let him in. She went back to imagining the texture of the wood and tried to imagine the way the spaces would feel between the planks. She tried to imagine a handle, but it didn't really make sense. Handles weren't in the middle of walls, especially not huge walls like this.

"Relax your shoulders again and remember to breathe. There's nothing threatening here, it's just your own mind."

"I'm not very good at this," she said, adjusting how she was holding her arms so that they were less tense.

"Most people are not good at things when they first start, that's why we practice. Keep going back to the wall. This is your wall."

Her wall. It didn't feel like a wall. It was too big for that. She didn't know what it was.

"Let's stop for the evening."

Rachel opened her eyes. "Already?"

"We've been working for an hour, it's time for a break," Severus said as he got up. "Perhaps tea and biscuits?"

She looked at the clock on the mantel and was surprised to see that it really had been an hour. She took a moment to assess her stomach. "I think I can do tea. Not sure about biscuits."

"Let's have some and you can try," he said. "Are you remaining here this evening?"

"Yes, I spent the day with Theo, and I'm spending the evening and tomorrow morning with you." She felt a little guilty about leaving Theo alone on Christmas Eve, but she would feel guilty about leaving Severus alone on Christmas Eve too.

"I appreciate that you want to spend time here," Severus said, his eyes smiling more than his mouth.

"I do. I like spending time with you," she said. She had some books in her bag and she didn't mind a quiet evening in Severus' quarters. It was good to rest.