Shadow groaned as he woke up hastily to the sound of his servants song. "All hail Shadow,
Heroes rise again,
Obliterating everything that's not your friend.
Nothing can stop you now,
No Ghost to bring you down.
When there's nothing left to lose,
You win..."
"BOW YOUR HEADS LOW", screamed Shadow as his servants bowed their heads low and hailed their lord, their master, their saviour, their liberator, their king, Shadow The Hedgehog the great. "ALL HAIL SHADOW"
"BOW YOUR HEADS LOW, ALL HAIL SHADOW" he repeated as his servants obeyed his every command. Shadow took a handful of coffee beans out of a cup delivered to him, ate them then grabbed a container of boiling water and gulped it down his throat. His servants, joyfully watching his morning routine, began heading out when Shadow exclaimed "disgusting black creatures, get out of my sight".
He grabbed his copy of Shadow The Hedgehog, released a total of three years ago but no game had yet to match even an third of it's excellency. Shadow thought it was unlikely another game was ever going to match his own unless another Shadow game was released. Shadow grabbed his gun and shot the disk straight into his Nintendo GameCube and watched the opening. "I see nor hear no evil, black writing's on the wall
Unleashed a million faces, and one-by-one they fall" and so on
Shadow was currently 97 hours into his Shadow The Hedgehog 100% speedrun and was outraged when Rouge walked into his room saying Sonic, Tails and some others not relevant enough to list wanted to see him. Shadow sighed and uttered "another day, another gay" in despair.
Shadow walked to the enterance of his castle and greeted Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and others. Knuckles grabbed Shadow's shoulders and yelled "what have you done to the master emerald" while throwing him back and forth. Shadow responded "what the fuck are you talking about". Knuckles answered "Sonic told me you have the master emerald, WHERE IS IT". "Relax, Knuckles, the master emerald is on angel island, I lied to get you to come, I hired a substitute to watch over the master emerald" said Sonic. "How did you get money, I thought you were unemployed?" Asked Knuckles to which Sonic responded "I rob banks". Shadow smiled as two plotholes had gotten resolved, Knuckles comes on adventures because Sonic hires a substitute to watch over the master emerald and Sonic gets money by robbing banks. Rings are actually worth very little because of inflation issues arriving from them being everywhere.
"Why are you here" said Shadow to which Sonic responded "It's the two year anniversary of you being the king of Soleanna, it's celebration time". Knuckles drowned in confusion "he's the king of Soleanna, WHY?". "Knuckles it's been two years how do you not know this?", Tails asked. "I live on an island in the heavens, how do you expect me to keep up with the outside world, HOW the FUCK is SHADOW king NOW", exclaimed Knuckles uncalmly. "Remember when Sonic, Shadow and Silver killed Solaris" said Tails. "Shadow filmed the entire thing then edited out all appearances of Silver and Sonic and took all the credit for saving the world. Shadow decided that as a thank you gift for 'saving the world' the world should make him the new king of Soleanna". "How does that make any sense" exclaimed Knuckles. "Science" said Tails, looking down on Knuckles for not having the required intelligence to understand how this makes sense.
"Isn't that kinda immoral" muttered Knuckles "lying like that then claiming the role of king". Shadow answered "I am Shadow The Hedgehog. I was created to bring happiness, justice and peace to the world. I can best fulfil that purpose here. Death to all who oppose me. This is who I am". Knuckles knew Shadow was right. This was who he was.
Sonic, Tails, Amy & Knuckles gave Shadow presents and then they played Shadow The Hedgehog together and had fun and smoked weed and it got late and Knuckles ran back fast to Angel Island to not let an impostor guard the emerald.
"This is like taking candy from a baby" said Shadow as he beat Sonic so hard he rage quit. What was going to happen the next? Shadow went to sleep thinking he would find out.
