Last time on not a Shadow of who I want to be Shadow, the king of Soleanna, found out Obama was evil and an epic battle ensued until the day was saved by unexpected hero Marcus.
Shadow was up late throwing a chao into a wall because he wanted to create a hero chao. Rouge walked into his room in a sexy outfit holding a massive speaker playing "I Am All Of Me" on repeat. Shadow unzipped his penis and they began having sex. Shadow would usually think about Silver during sex because he found Silver more attractive than Rouge. He missed Silver. Silver was so sexy, so fast, he had such good personality and he was so cool. Shadow came in 5 seconds. Shadow went to bed.
Shadow woke up the next morning and did life as regular, he went through the morning routine, ate coffee beans covered in hot sauce for breakfast, raised some chao, played Shadow The Hedgehog, had sex then went to bed.
Shadow was hugging Rouge one day but he noticed something was wrong. Shadow said "you all right? you're trembling. What's going on" to which Rouge responded "Something wonderful has happened" followed by "Shadow, I'm pregnant". Shadow thought maybe he should tell Rouge to get an abortion but then he thought because his genes were so perfect they could create a strong and powerful hedgehog so he responded "That's... That's wonderful".
In the following months Rouge became very fat. 9 months later water ran down her thing. Shadow yelled "MARCUS" then after the realization "fuck, still not used to the fact he's gone". Rouge pushed hard and was in pain and then finally a boy dropped out. The boy was short and black and a cool and juicy hedgehog. "What should we name him?" said Rouge. "I'm thinking Shadow Jr". Shadow Jr was so cool and related to Shadow so Shadow beast with joy and nodded hard and his chin went up and down like a jumping sheep reaching for leaves.
Growing up, Shadow Jr was very smart. Shadow would always brag to his friends about how Shadow Jr solved partial differential equations at the age of 1, Shadow didn't know what that means but he bragged about it anyways because it sounded smart. He made sure to never mention it around Tails because Tails was a smartass who was like "haha partial differential equations, that's easy, he's not THAT smart" but Tails was one of those people who always complained the book is better than the movie so he wasn't worth listening to. Then Shadow Jr beat Tails in Chess which made Tails fall into a depression. This lasted for a while until Tails realized that just because some people are better than you it doesn't mean you're bad and Tails went back to his happy self. Then he died of rabies three months later.
Shadow Jr rewrote Minecraft flawlessly in C and added multiprocessing to it at the age of two. What a god. Then he did lots of optimization work and stuff. But Mojang didn't want to hire him because his changes were too good.
Basically he was Tails but cooler.
One day Shadow woke up, did stuff, then went to bed ready for a new day as the president of the United States of America.
