Last time on not a Shadow of who I want to be Shadow, the president of the United States of America, did stuff that's not relevant to this chapter.

GUN Commander woke up in the morning like he expected would happen when he went to bed the last night. He took out a hundred 1 liter milk cartons, strapped them to his back and did some push-ups. Then he drank it. His wife was encouraging him. "milk makes you strong, my dear", she said.

After drinking his morning milk GUN Commander went to work. GUN Commander wasn't fast unlike Shadow, Rouge and others so it took a long time but he finally got there after 20 minutes.

"Mr Commander, Xi Jinping wants to see you" said a guy at GUN. Mr Commander ordered a flight to China. Rouge picked up GUN Commander then flew to China in 46 seconds carrying him. He payed Rouge a Chaos Emerald.

GUN Commander arrived at China and soon he noticed, there he was; GUN Commander noticed Xi Jinping was angry then heard him screaming angrily "WHY DID AMERICA BOMB THE CHINESE SENATE" rapidly. "What, America did no such thing" responded Mr Commander. "Well then, lets settle this..." said Xi Jinping as he took out his lightsaber. "If I win China invades America, If you win I buy you ice cream" he continued. GUN Commander unzipped his pants and cut the lightsaber in two with his super massive laser cock. GUN Commander was striking Xi Jinping but Xi Jinping pulled out his Chaos Emerald and dodged the strike (laser cocks can't cut through Chaos Emeralds). GUN Commander was flabergasted but he also saw potential. "Chaos con..." he said then Xi Jinping punched him in the face. Xi Jinping threw away the Chaos Emerald because he knew GUN Commander could speak faster than him and could thus trigger Chaos Control faster. He was lucky he was a good thrower because the Chaos Emerald flew multiple miles away thus GUN Commander couldn't find it.

Xi Jinping pulled out his samurai sword but GUN Commander cut it to pieces. He pulled out his bazooka but GUN Commander cut it to pieces. He pulled out his 50 child slaves but GUN Commander cut them to pieces. "Wow, you're really overpowered. I concede", said Xi Jinping then he bought GUN Commander some ice cream. On the way to buy ice cream GUN Commander found the Chaos Emerald Xi Jinping had thrown away earlier and claimed it for himself.

GUN Commander got a phone call; "Mr Commander, Vladimir Putin wants to see you" it said. GUN Commander called Rouge for a flight to Russia.

Half way through the flight Mr Commander noticed something and he mumbled "Fuck where's my Chaos Emerald". "You don't have a Chaos Emerald?" asked Rouge. "Sorry, no payment no deal" she said as she dropped him. GUN Commander broke his leg upon the collision with the ground and had to walk the rest of the way to Russia with a broken leg. Half way through the journey GUN Commander had to eat his second leg due to hunger so he had to crawl the rest of the way.

"Long time no see Mr Commander. You're late" said Putin then he continued "About 5 months late". "I already started the war with America I thought you would never come" he continued. "I can fly you home" he continued.

After getting back to America and getting a wooden leg like a pirate GUN Commander visited Shadow. "Shadow, what do we do about the war with Russia" he said. "You mean world war three" Shadow chuckled. "Huh" responded Mr Commander. "It was I who sent bombs to China and Russia. Shadow Jr built the bombs, trust me he's a very important character of the story" said Shadow with a smile on his face. GUN Commander was bewildered and overwhelmed by Shadow's words. "It was I who stole your Chaos Emerald, Shadow Jr constructed a super massive invisible Chaos Emerald stealer, preventing you from paying Rouge and battling Putin" he chuckled. Shadow was laughing devilishly, asserting dominance using his laughing abilities. "HAHHAHAHAHHAHA" he laughed. "Shadow... why?" asked GUN Commander. "I am Shadow The Hedgehog. The ultimate life form destined to rule the world. I have brought peace, justice and order to my new empire. This is who I am!" responded Shadow. "Shadow, I don't approve of this" protested GUN Commander. "That's the cool thing, you don't have to approve of reality... but you might find that if you don't approve of reality it doesn't have to approve of you. You might find reality has closed the door you enter when you wake up in the morning" said Shadow. This is when GUN Commander shut the fuck up.

"This war has caused billions of deaths, an economic depression and countless deaths. But now it has to end. The world will be reorganized into the FIRST... SHADOWNIAN... EMPIRE for a safe and secure society" said Shadow to the United Nations senate. Shadow heard a couple boos and some cheers echoing across the building.