Hey, guys. This is a Sonic one-shot where Sonic and his pals go cow tipping causing trouble. After watching Barnyard and Cars did that inspire me to write this. This may offend some animal lovers but )dolphin chirp) it.

Sonic The Hedgehog and related media belongs to Sega and Sonic Team not me. Let's get it.

One day at Sonic's house, the blue blur and his buds Tails and a gray wolf wearing a black t-shirt with a flaming skull surrounded by a circle. Kind of like the one from The Offspring's insignia on their albums. The three were watching a game show called Bullshit waiting for their buddy Knuckles to come over. Tails deadpanned at both Sonic and the wolf Gunther for the show they've picked out.
"Seriously? So you're telling me that the rules are to get away with bullshitting a question and win money? What sense does that make?", Tails asked. Sonic grinned before explaining to the fox on why it's the best show.
"Dude, it's the best show to get paid to do that. You get paid up to 1 million Mobiums depending on how well you do. I can buy me a years worth of chili dogs. ", the hedgehog rubbed his belly in bliss dreaming of eating his favorite food. Tails rolled his eyes at his blue friend's choice of reasoning.
"Really? You're spending it all on chili dogs? Why not invest some of it? Wouldn't that work better?", the fox suggested. Gunther the wolf nodded in agreement with the fox genius as he drank his Coke.
"Tails is right, dawg. Don't spend it all in one place or thing. But who knew a game show let's you win money for having cap in your rap? It's genius.", the wolf gave a thumbs up from his black gloves. Tails sighed at his friends giving up on reasoning with them on saving money. He changed the subject relating to a certain echidna.

"I wonder what Knuckles wants to show us anyway? It better not be anything stupid and dumb.", the fox wondered what hair-brained scheme the echidna cooked up for them this evening. Sonic and Gunther shrugged before they answered Tails's question.
"Beats me. All I know is that Knux said it was important. Other than that, who knows what he has planned.", Sonic answered before chowing down on his chili dog.

"Knux texted me earlier saying to bring our boots for some reason. And a pair of vice grips.", Gunther said causing Sonic and Tails to frown about the two items to bring. The hedgehog felt suspicious of Knuckles at that point.
"What are we doing with a pair of vice grips? Besides, I can't go in my dad's toolbox after Manic and I screwed around with his glue gun and new fishing hooks.", Sonic noted.

"Oh yeah. I remember. Your dad wasn't thrilled of you two going in his tools like that. Plus, you had to clean up the garage. And I can't go in my parents' garage neither. And I do have my vice grips.", Tails added in. Gunther raised an eyebrow for a second.
"Yo, Sonic. When's your parents comin' home? And your sibs, dawg?", the wolf wondered as Sonic shrugged..
"They'll be back in a few hours. Manic is hanging out at Silver's and Sonia's with her friends shopping and stuff. They gave me a spare key to use.", the hedgehog smirked holding the said key. Tails sighed having a bad feeling about this.
"Guys. You do realize we got curfew. If our folks notice us staying out too long—"
"Relax, Tails. We'll be fine. Besides, Mr. McCloud's lenient with ya. You got nothin' to worry about.", Sonic assured the orange fox. Before Tails can protest, a knock on the door followed by a doorbell got the trio's attention.
"It's Knuckles. I'll get the door.", Sonic said with Tails and Gunther following suit. The blue blur came to the door to open it revealing the red echidna. Knuckles smirked giving the boys some dap before he spoke.
"What's up, guys? Ready to be men?", the echidna said as Tails frowned.
"All right, Knuckles. What are we doing with a pair of vice grips and boots?", the fox asked pointing to a box of boots in Gunther's hands.
"Yeah, bruh. What's the deal?", Gunther said as Knuckles smirked.
"Just get your asses in the truck and you'll see.", the echidna urged. Sonic sighed pulling out his key to Lock up the house.
"Oh all right, man. Just had to lock up the house. Hopefully, we shouldn't be out too long.", the hedgehog noted as Knuckles led his buds to his truck. Knuckles grinned with Gunther raising his eyebrows.
"Hey, dawg. Your pops let you use his truck?", the wolf wondered as Sonic added in.
"Didn't your dad ban you for two months after wrecking it?", the hedgehog asked.
"Relax, bruh. My pops lifted the ban a little early. No biggie. Just get yo blue ass in this truck already.", the echidna chuckled. Gunther placed the box of boots in the truck bed before the boys went to who knows where.

======Unknown Area======

It was evening and the guys pulled the truck into a good hiding spot. Knuckles turned to his pals with a smirk pointing at his windshield.
"Here we are, boys. The place to become rugged men.", Knuckles boasted. The boys got out of the truck seeing a fenced pasture with cows eating grass and lazing around. Tails saw the boots Gunther pulled out just then as he put two and two together. The fox gasped and glared at the knucklehead.
"Don't tell me we're going to tip cows. You must be the dumbest one yet. And this is Old Man Ruckus's property!", the fox warned. This prompted Sonic and Gunther to glare daggers at Knuckles.
"Dawg, you crazy! Ruckus will put a hole in our asses! What the hell, bruh?", the wolf uttered not liking the idea.
"Dude, you could've picked a better place to tip cows. But that's cruel though.", Sonic chided only for Knuckles to scoff.
"Don't be a wuss, Sonic. Just take your kicks off and wear those boots. Unless you want to track cow crap home. No way in hell you're trackin' it in my pop's truck. Hell to the naw.", the dreadlocked echidna ranted. The boys placed on their boots and threw their shoes in the box. Knuckles smirked pointing at a fence.
"Okay, guys. Let's go.", the echidna led the boys over the fence ready to do something stupid.

They crept quietly through the pasture dodging cowpies along the way. The four amigos silently walked over until Knuckles stopped over near a cow with a devilish smirk on his face.

"Well, guys. This is our first cow. Who wants to push one down? Any volunteers?", Knuckles whispered. Tails gulped and frowned protesting.
"Knuckles, I'm not doin' this.", the fox refused as Sonic and Gunther co-signed.
"Yeah. That don't seem right, bruh.", Gunther added.
"Knux, you lost it. That's no good.", Sonic honestly told the echidna. Knuckles scoffed at his friends' reluctance.
"You three are wusses to the core. This is easy. Watch this.", Knuckles then creeps to the side of the cow snickering. The echidna eyed the cow for a moment before trying to push it down. He tried with effort only for the cow to notice him and huffed. The heifer then kicked the echidna back to the boys with a hoof mark on his body. The echidna groaned dusting himself off glaring at the bovine eating grass.
"Easy, huh?", Tails dryly noted at the knucklehead.
"Who's the wuss now, knucklehead?", Sonic taunted only for Knuckles to get angry.
"Shut up, bungholes! You three get over there and help me!", Knuckles growled until he smirked at Sonic.
"I have some chili dogs at the crib if you do it.", the echidna smiled as Sonic's eyes widened with excitement. Tails gasped and groaned at the hedgehog.

"Sonic, don't do it! No chili dog's worth that!", the fox tried to reason but the hedgehog went to Knuckles. The echidna looked at Gunther with a smirk.
"Yo, Gunz. There's a burrito with your name on it if you push this cow down.", Knuckles urged.
"Oh yeah. Sign me up.", the wolf joined in. Tails facepalmed grumbling to himself.
"Ah, screw it.", the fox joined the three walking to the same cow again. The boys with combined strength pushes the creature tipping it over causing the bovine to freak out. Knuckles laughed himself silly as Gunther, Sonic and Tails knocked the cow off balance to it's side mooing angrily. The boys ran into a bail of hay hiding as the cow got up snorting and bellowing looking for the troublemakers. The bovine huffed walking away giving up the chase. Knuckles laughed himself silly as Sonic, Gunther and Tails glared.
"That's called cow tipping! Ha,ha,ah!", the echidna laughed as Sonic turned to his red idiot pal with a dry look.
"You're a real buttmunch, dude."

"At least I'm not capping about the chili dogs, bruh. Besides, we'll do more tippin' of cows and then we'll get the hell out of here.", the echidna assured the hedgehog of his deal. Gunther looked and made sure that cow wasn't out for blood but sighed in relief that she's absent.
"Yo, man! The coast is clear. Let's just get to the next one already. Besides, you owe us a burrito and chili dogs, bruh.", Gunther noted. Tails silently groaned and followed his friends to the next victim repeating the same actions. The cow fell on her side farting out causing Sonic, Gunther and Knuckles to stifle a chuckle. Tails covered his nose at the stench and coughed.
"Geez, that's gross! Nearly as bad as Sonic eating a bag of chili dogs letting it rip!", the fox gagged.
Tails, you had to compare my farts to the cow's? It's not that bad, man.", the hedgehog defended himself. Gunther added in his two cents.
"Sonic, dawg. Yours tops the cow's, man. No one couldn't go in the bathroom for 30-45 minutes after that.", the wolf noted causing Knuckles to tease Sonic.
"Bruh, you got some serious case of the bubble guts.", the echidna laughed. Sonic glared at the boys pointing at the herd.
"Let's just get this over with so you can pay up in chili dogs.", Sonic grumbled. The four troublemakers tipped over 5 cows until the farts echoed throughout the pasture. This caused the boys to laugh themselves silly.

They soon were finished tipping cows and went near an electrical fence where the goats were. There was a big billy goat glaring at those fools.
"What the hell are we doing here? Turk's going to ram our asses good.", Gunther hissed.
"Yeah, Knux. That goat's bad news.", Sonic cosigned.
"Plus, the fence is electrified.", Tails pointed at the fence hearing an audible buzz. Knuckles smirked waving off the concern.
"You're being extra, guys. There's no way this fence is—YAAAO!", the echidna yelped touching the fence as the volts peppered him backwards towards the boys. He grinned stupidly as Tails and Gunther helped him up.
"Dawg, we Tails you so."
"Shut up, Gunther. Just jump over this fence and play a game of Ram Jam.", Knuckles ordered.
"Ram Jam? I don't like the sound of this.", Sonic grumbled as Tails and Gunther agreed. The boys managed to clear the fence causing the goat to snort in anger while the other goats looked nervous. Knuckles taunted the animal by stomping and making noises and faces.
"Yo, dawg. Now you're just wild'n out.", Gunther facepalmed.
"Dude, that's not cool.", Sonic warned.
"Relax, bro. That stupid goat's not gonna—AAAH!", Knuckles yelped after Turk butts him to the ground. The echidna dusted himself off ready to give the goat a piece of his mind.
"All right, stupid goat! Bring it on!", the echidna yelled running after the goat only to get rammed again. The echidna groaned in pain causing Turk to go after Sonic in which the hedgehog sped over the fence.
"I'm outta here!", he yelled as Turk bleated angrily but the billy goat got peppered by the volts. Tails and Gunther followed the hog over the fence leaving Knuckles behind. The echidna got angry throwing a tantrum.
"Hey, you buttholes! Help me outta here!", the echidna yelled as Turk and the goats snorted zeroing in on their target. Knuckles smiled nervously waving his hands.

"Uhhm nice goats. No hard feelings? C'mon, man!", Knuckles begged only for the goats to butt him far over the fence landing on his face. Turk snorted walking off finishing the job. Sonic and Gunther helped the echidna up while Tails stifled a giggle. This made Knuckles angry glaring at the laughing fox.
"So you think this is funny?! I got somethin' special for you!", Knuckles growled ready to pounce on the fox only for Gunther and Sonic to hold him back.
"Knux, chill out. Besides, we had enough cow tipping and messing with goats. Let's just get out of here before Ruckus gets out.", Sonic warned with worry.
"And put something' hot up in our ribcage!, bruh!", Gunther gulped.
"Whatever, man. One final round and we'll get the hell out of here.", Knuckles smirked eyeing a certain area in the distance. This made Sonic, Gunther and Tails's face to look horrified. The echidna led them to a certain spot as the trio's faces remained in fear.
In the pasture standing near a tree was a big bull standing there relaxing. Tails grew angry glaring at Knuckles for a good reason.
"Now you've gone too far, man! Tipping cows is one thing but a bull?!", Tails growled appalled at Knuckles's foolish idea. Sonic and Gunther crossed their arms agreeing with the fox.
"Knux, that's the most stupidest and dangerous thing you could come up with. No chili dog is worth the trouble.", Sonic noted in defiance.
"Yeah, dawg. You're trippin', man.", the wolf shook his head. Knuckles smirked lecturing the boys.
"Who said we're tipping a bull? Why do you think I asked you guys to bring a pair of vice grips?", the echidna smiled devilishly. Tails looked at the tool in his hand while Gunther's eyes widened in shock.
"Dude, you know somethin'?", Sonic asked the wolf. Gunther nodded and explained everything to the hedgehog and fox.

"Remember that scene from Friday After Next where Money Mike used the pliers on Daymond? Well, that's what Knuckles wants us to do to that bull, dawg!", the wolf warned causing Knuckles to nod and Tails and Sonic gasp.
"W-What? Hell to the frickin' naw! I'm not gonna twist a bull's manhood with a pair of vice grips.", Sonic shook his head refusing to do that.
"Who said you and Gunther are going to do that? That honor belongs to Tails.", the echidna smirked. Tails's eyes widened and glared at Knuckles.
"Are you crazy?! That bull's gonna put us six feet deep! You're doing it!", Tails shoves the pliers into the echidna's hands only to return back to him. Knuckles crossed hiss arms taunting the fox.
"Are you going to be a good boy all your life? C'mon, bruh. Do something crazy and reckless that's good for your balls. Stop being such a square.", Knuckles lectured.
"There's no way in hell that I'm going over there with a pair of vice grips.", Tails defiantly said.
"It's your pliers, his nuts and our pride! Now get your two-tailed ass over there with these pliers!", Knuckles shoves Tails in the direction of the bull to do the dirty deed. The fox gripped his pliers tightly creeping to the bull to not spook him. Knuckles snickered rubbed his hands together watching Tails inch closer to the bull.
"Knux, you're a douchebag.", Sonic muttered.
Tails crept to the side of the animal near his flank. The fox eyed the location where the pliers had to go. Tails sweated profusely not knowing what to do but the voice of Knuckles taunted in his head from earlier causing Tails to growl lowly. He opened up the large pliers where the scrotum is and with the anger flowed deep within him, he clamped hard on the sack and used enough torque to twist the animal's bullhood.
KRUNCH!

The bull's eyes widened as the world stood still for a moment after what Tails did. Sonic, Gunther and Knuckles's face paled while Tails laughed like a madman holding up the pliers in the air.
"I have the POWER!", Tails yelled triumphantly until the bull made a threatening roar.
MOOOOOOOO!

Tails gulped nervously backing away as the bull glared at him and the other boys. Sonic and Gunther glared at Knuckles with daggers.
"Nice going, butt mongrel! Tails cracked the bull's nuts! If we make it out of here, I'm kickin' your ass.", Sonic threatened with Gunther rushing and grabbing Tails in the nick of time. The boys ran in the pasture screaming with the bull bellowing blowing steam out his nose.
"This is all your fault, Knux!", Sonic yelled.
"My fault?!", Knuckles yelled.
"Yes, dawg! You straight up made Tails break that bull's nuts! AAH!", Gunther screamed with the bull closer than before. Sonic spotted a fence nearby and ordered his friends for safety.
"Guys, it's now or never! Jump over that fence if you want to live!", the hedgehog yelled while Tails is laughing.
"You don't have to tell me twice, bruh!", Gunther answered. The four boys attempted to clear the enclosure making it over with the bull still in pain angry before turning away snorting. Tails yelled out like a madman at the animal taunting it.
"That's right! You better run! I gotcha by the nuts! Hahahahahaha!", the fox laughed maniacally but a gunshot went off scaring the boys. Knuckles gulped knowing who fired the shot.
"It's Old Man Ruckus!"

"Let's get out of here before we end up maggot food!", Gunther yelled. The old man hardly recognized the boys' faces due to the dark sky. He looked pissed cocking his gun.

"Um'll put a hole in one of yo' asses! Come git some!", he yelled firing a shot giving chase. The boys dodged gunshot fires looking for the truck Knuckles parked. The old man loaded more bullets into his gun before shooting some more.
"Knux, where'd you park the truck?!", Sonic yelled as the echidna chuckled to himself.
"Uh. I don't know. I forgot.", Knuckles confessed as another buckshot whizzed hitting a tree.
"The hell?! Out of all the times to forget, it had to be where we get something hot up in our ribcages! Knuckles, you idiot!", Sonic yelled at the echidna as they nearly tripped over. Ruckus shoots some more before taunting.
"Come on wit it! Come on wit it! Respect my gangsta!", he yelled firing another shot. The chase lasted until they ducked behind a bush hoping the close is clear. Ruckus lost the four boys and threatened them.
"Yeah, you better run! Next time, um'll get the one that wink! Not the one that stink!", Ruckus grumbled before coming back to his house. Once he was gone, Sonic sighed in relief spotting the truck nearby.
"Whew. That was close. Let's get out of here before Ruckus shows back up again.", Sonic ordered. The boys agreed in unison heading to the truck with Knuckles behind the wheel heading home. After they pulled away, Ruckus saw something littered onto his property with a puzzled expression.
"The hell is this?", Ruckus wondered examining the item. His frown turned to a scowl spotting Tails's pliers with the name, "Miles McCloud" on them. The man spotted a mark on the bull's scrotum in a litted area and saw bull hair on the pliers.
"Why that good for nothin' bastard! Time to pay him a visit!", he growled going to his trusty pickup truck to settle the score.

Back home, Tails was laughing silly with Sonic on the phone about what he did to the bull.
"Sonic, I never felt so great in my life! I wasn't a square!", Tails laughed as Sonic didn't like what he heard.
"Dude, you almost got killed by the bull let alone shot by Ruckus. Knuckles created a monster. But I'm glad you're okay and Gunther.", Sonic said in relief. The boys chatted but a doorbell rang prompting his parents downstairs to answer.

"Now who could it be this late?", a blue vixen said in wonder while a single tailed male red fox picked up his blaster hopping off the couch.
"You stay here, Krystal. I'll get the door.", the red fox ordered carrying his blaster. Krystal called to him in worry.
"Please be careful, Fox.", she warned in worry. Fox went down to the door and answered it after hearing the banging. Fox opened it seeing none other than Old Man Ruckus.
"Ruckus? What are you doing here? And why do you have Miles's pliers?", Fox demanded as Ruckus growled.
"That son of yours trespassed onto my property messing with my animals! He twisted my bull's nutsack with this!" Don't believe me? Look at my camera footage!", the old man showed the fox pilot the video of Tails tipping cows, messing with Turk and twisting the bull's balls. Fox narrowed his eyes in disappointment.
"Is that so? And I spot Sonic, Gunther and Knuckles too. I'll see to it that my son is properly punished. And I'll see to it that the other kids' parents knows this too.", Fox noted as Ruckus threatened.
"You better be! If I ever catch them pulling a stunt like that again, I'll give 'em some ol' school whup yo ass! New school whup yo ass just straight up talk to you. Ol' school whup yo ass takes you all the way to the grave!", Ruckus said before heading home. Fox angry called for Miles.
"MIIIIILEES!"

Tails hearing his father's voice gulped but little did Sonic and the Others know that they were in for it.

===The Next Day=====

At school, Sonic, Tails, Knuckles and Gunther sighed in disappointment but glared at Knuckles for getting them into trouble.
"And I'm grounded for a month, Knuckles! Thanks a frekin' lot, dude! My parents chewed me out for it.", Tails rambled.
"Yeah, dawg. I'm also grounded a month. I was gonna ask Knux's sister Doris out on a date, man!", Gunther said as Knuckles gasped.
"W-What? You should've told me you were going to do that! Though it's pointless now. My parents took my permit away. So I have to take the school bus.", Knuckles grumbled.
"Looks like the four of us are grounded. How am I suppose to tell Elise about our date?", Sonic groaned digging important textbooks out of his locker. Sonia, Elise, Amy and Doris popped up glaring at the boys. Doris is a slightly taller echidna girl with red hair in bangs and blue eyes wearing a yellow dress. The boys were embarrassed to say the least.
"We heard what you four did last night. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Especially you, Tails.", Amy lectured.

"What? We're already chewed out by our parents. No need for you girls to add in more.", Knuckles whined. Doris huffed at her brother's whining.
"Too bad. By the way, Daddy wants you straight at Ruckus's to help out on his farm. Just so you know.", the echidna warned as Knuckles groaned. Sonia turned to Sonic with a smirk.
"Mom and Dad said you gotta be there at Ruckus's also. Sucks to be you guys.", Sonia laughed. Tails grumbled seeing a text from Fox.
"Shit. I gotta be at Ruckus's too."
"So do I, dawg.", Gunther said patting his friend on the shoulder. Elise shook her head at Sonic before leaving with the girls.
"It'll serve you right for tipping cows. That's so mean. But maybe when you're off your grounding, we can go on a date somewhere.", the Soleanan girl softly said to Sonic before pecking him on the cheek. Once she and the other girls left, Gunther and the boys gave him some dap.
"Way to go, dawg! At least you got a kiss from yo squeeze, man. Oh yeah.", Gunther said singing like Uncle Bobby from The Proud Family.
"Yeah. At least there's a silver lining. Once we brave this grounding, we're all good. And Knuckles, if you ever drag us into a stunt like that, we'll kick your ass.", Sonic threatened as Tails and Gunther cosigned. Knuckles silently groaned. The bell rings signaling the next class.

To sum it all up, the four guys worked on Ruckus's farm as hands. To say that the animals gave them a hard time was an understatement from getting butted into cowpies, sat on, stung by bees and the like. It lasted a month as punishment but at least they learned not to pull that stunt again.

A/N: And that's the one-shot, folks. I figure I'd write a story in the Sonic universe to warm myself up. Fox and Krystal are guest characters from Nintendo's Star Fox series. I added in a minor SonLise at the end. Honestly, if it wasn't for the abysmal story of Sonic 06 and how the pairing was handled, it could be more tolerable.

Seriously, Elise and Sonic's bond was good but needed work. It's not beastiality when Sonic is an anthropomorphic intelligent creature with human qualities. Beeastiality only applies when a human is in love with an actual animal. I want to throw that out there. Heck, Sonic is an alien Mobian capable of human intelligence and culture. I like this pairing better than SonAmy due to it being genuine before the flames of Solaris were blown out. It's up there with RogerxJessica of Who Framed Roger Rabbit fame. Anyway, LulMancub out and I'll see y'all in the next one.