"Do you have to follow a diet or something?" Alison asked, searching in her refrigerator.
Emily shrugged. "I have to follow some rules, but I don't exactly have a diet plan".
Alison swiftly turned her head to look at Emily. "Rules? And what are those?"
Emily was still in her bathing suit with her towel across her neck. "Well, if I rely on my nutritionist, the ideal meal should include mostly starchy carbs, fruits and veggies, a small serving of protein and salty food". Emily rolled her eyes. "But I think that kind of diet is too restrictive."
Alison looked at her curiously. "How's that?"
"I have to avoid salad and caffeine", Emily answered with a smirk.
Alison laughed, "that diet would piss me off". She turned herself back toward the fridge. "Tomorrow I'll go do the groceries but if it's good with you, I can make us lasagna for tonight".
"Sounds perfect", Emily replied. "If you don't mind, I'll take a quick shower".
Alison took out cheese from the refrigerator and a container of spaghetti sauce from the freezer, deposing them on the counter. A million thoughts of Emily naked in her shower ran in her mind. She wondered how time had impacted the woman's body - if her breast were firmer and her skin softer. Feeling herself blush, Alison promptly pushed those thoughts away. "Okay, feel free to use my things if needed".
The brunette quickly exited the kitchen. Her head was spinning. She was feeling too comfortable for her liking. She had only spent a few moments in this house with Alison, but she knew she could easily get used to this. She was beginning to think that this week could be a bad idea. She and Ophelia were in a tough place and somehow being here with Alison was only making it worse. Stepping on the second floor, she made her way to her room. She let herself fall on the mattress next to her bags. What was she doing? To clear her mind, she undressed and walked toward the bathroom in her room. She turned on the shower and walked in.
Getting out of the shower, Emily wrapped herself in a towel. She exited the bathroom, stocking her wet hair in a bun as she put on jogging shorts and a white cropped top. She removed her luggage from the bed and layed in it for a moment, looking at the ceiling. She needed to understand her feelings toward Alison and Ophelia. Of course, she loved Ophelia but something within Alison was constantly compelling her closer to the blonde. Forcing herself to get up from the bed, she decided to push her thoughts for later. She would have plenty of time to think about it during the week. The blonde was currently downstairs cooking dinner for them, and Emily wanted to help her. Exiting her room, she looked to her left toward Alison's bedroom and sighed. Emily was definitively feeling something for the blonde, but she couldn't put a finger on the exact thing. She shook her head, trying to think of something else. She took a few steps in the direction of the stairs and descended them, paying attention to the picture frames that hung on the wall. She felt her heart sink watching the different episodes of Alison's life that she had missed, from her first runway to the fashion events. These occasions were important, and she blamed herself for not having been there for the blonde. As she continued to look at the photos, her eyes stopped on a picture. Between all the photographs of important events in Alison's life, there was a photo of them – a picture of her and Alison. The photo sat proudly on the wall filled with success. Seeing it there, among all those so-called trophies, seemed surreal. After all the pain Emily had caused Alison, it still deserved a place among the blonde's best memories. Emily felt like throwing up. After all that she had done to the blonde, how could she hope to be part of her life again? She quickly descended the last stairs before heading towards the kitchen, knowing she didn't deserve all the kindness Alison gave her.
The brunette entered the kitchen, welcomed by the sweet smell that reigned there. Not seeing Alison, she deduced that the lasagna must have already been in the oven. She noticed the dishes on the counter and put the dirty ones in the sink. She walked over to a glass cabinet where she pulled out a glass of wine. Turning her head to the counter behind her, she walked in that direction. An open bottle of wine sat there, and she poured herself a glass. Emily looked out the window as she took her first sip. It was already dark outside, but she noticed a figure on a lounge chair. She smiled and quietly approached the window. It was her. Emily couldn't take her eyes from her, mesmerized by the blonde. It fascinated her that every time she looked at her friend, she was noticing something else, like the way the moonlight reflected in her eyes or that small mole next to her right eye.
Involuntarily, Emily headed to the door feeling an urge to be close to the blonde. She opened it and walked over to Alison in a daze, stopping a few steps away from her. Alison was wearing a white deep V-neck, flowy mini sundress. One side of it was tucked under the blonde, showing a little more skin on one of her breasts. The view was something out of a movie and Emily wished she could freeze it in time. She felt blessed to be the only one to witness it. If the scene was a painting, the only place for it would be in a museum.
Feeling eyes on her, Alison lifted her head smiling. "You are staring again".
Emily kept quiet, unable to respond. She thought she was done with her Alison phase but seeing that smile she understood she had only been lying to herself. Seeing the blonde smiling at her felt like she had just woken up. Like all that time, she had been asleep. During all those years, she had been craving her, longing for her. "Drink?", Emily finally mumbled, raising her glass.
Alison grabbed the glass that was on the ground beside her and raised it in the air, "already got one".
Emily absently nodded, still wondering how it took her so long to realize Alison was all she wanted. "The lasagna is probably ready by now".
"Oh shit, I completely forgot about it", Alison laughed. She quickly got up and rushed to the kitchen, passing beside Emily.
Emily couldn't move, shocked by the realization she just had. How could she have let Alison go? Confused, her thoughts ran to the pictures she had seen earlier on the wall. The blonde had lived a life without her in it. What if she was fine with it? Alison's voice suddenly broke the silence, getting her out of her thoughts. "Emily?"
"Uh?", she replied, not realizing how lame she sounded.
"What are you doing? Come inside, the lasagna is on the table", Alison continued.
Emily walked back inside; her eyes locked on the blonde. Alison handed her a plate, and she took it in silence. She made her way toward the table, sitting in front of Alison. She took a knife and managed to cut a portion for Alison and her.
"What are you going to do with Ophelia?", Alison asked, trying to make conversation.
"I don't know", Emily replied, carefully deposing a piece of lasagna on Alison's plate.
Alison nodded her head, feeling like the brunette didn't want to talk. She paused a minute but quickly continued talking, unable to stay quiet. She felt the need to fill the silence and said the first thing that came to mind. "Whom are you know?", she asked.
"What?", Emily questioningly replied.
"I know what you do for a living, but I don't know you anymore. Who's Emily Fields now?" Alison answered as if it was obvious. "I'm pretty sure you are not the same person from four years ago".
Emily moved on her chair, feeling uncomfortable. "Why does it matter anyway?"
"I'm just trying to make conversation! What's your favourite film now? Or song or book or sexual position, I don't know just talk about yourself, I'm curious", Alison questioned, joking.
Emily chuckled, staring at Alison. "Why do you always have to be so raw?".
They stared at each other for a moment, both unsure what to say. Alison took a sip of her wine, raising her eyebrow. "Is it a problem?".
Emily cocked her head to the side. "I don't mind it at all", she whispered.
"Good", Alison whispered back, taking another sip of her wine.
"What about you?" Emily asked, taking a bite of lasagna.
"What about me?" Alison replied, confused.
Emily smiled. "The questions you asked me. What is your favourite film, song and book?"
Alison kept quiet for a moment, thinking. "I really enjoy About Time, my song of the moment is Come Over and The First Day".
"You missed one" Emily replied softly.
"I didn't", Alison replied honestly.
"What is your favourite sexual position?", Emily explained.
Alison blushed. "I was just joking".
"Well, I want to know", Emily insisted, taking a sip of her wine.
"You didn't answer your questions", Alison replied seriously, changing the subject.
Emily shrugged, still staring at Alison. "My favourites didn't change".
Surprised, Alison stayed silent for a moment, inspecting Emily's face. Was she implying something? She remained composed, carefully choosing her words. "A lot of things have changed. It is… different now".
"How do you know, though?" Emily asked the blonde across from her.
Alison kept quiet for a moment, hypnotized by Emily's gaze. "What are you thinking about?", she whispered.
Emily held her gaze into Alison's eyes as if she was searching for something. She was thinking about a lot of things. For some reason, the thought of Alison laying naked on her back against the table kept running through her head. She couldn't think of anything else. "I don't know", she softly confessed as she took her glass to her lips.
Alison nodded, knowing that the brunette wasn't telling her the truth. She grabbed her glass and took another sip of wine. The alcohol was started to get to her. "So, do you have the future you wanted? Making a life out of swimming, having a gorgeous model as girlfriend…", she asked with a smile, feeling daring.
"I'm getting there I guess…", Emily replied before taking a quick pause. "What about you? What brought you here to LA?"
Alison shrugged as her thoughts swirled around. "Work and Hanna", she answered honestly.
They both kept quiet for a while and Emily was the first to break it. "I'm sorry Ali…", she suddenly said. "I'm sorry for all the pain I caused you". It felt weird to admit that. Emily had never really thought back of Alison after that day four years ago but seeing the blonde again over the last week made her wonder if she had made the right decision all those years ago.
They stared at each other quietly. Emily looked at the blonde and Alison looked at the brunette as if one of them might know what else to say. Finally, Alison looked away and nodded in understanding. She grabbed the bottle of wine but quickly realized it was empty. "I definitely need another drink. Do you want one?", she asked, pointing to Emily's almost empty glass.
"Uh, okay", Emily answered.
Alison got up and walked to the kitchen. She opened the small wine cellar and took out another bottle of wine. She opened it and quickly walked back to the dining room.
Emily greeted her with a smile. "Cabernet Sauvignon?" she said.
"Amarone", Alison replied pouring some in Emily's glass before her own.
"Damn, I guess I don't know you that well anymore", Emily answered laughing.
"I told you earlier, people change", Alison winked at her friend. She sat down on her chair. "It's funny how we used to know each other inside out, but now we only have small talks", She said in a more serious tone. "We're just here talking like hey, the weather is nice outside today" she continued, joking.
Emily tilted her head, taking in those thoughts. Looking at the girl in front of her, she felt her heart ache. Her eyes examined the soft skin and lips of Alison; she was so pretty, it hurts. Drunk Alison had always been softer. Somehow, when the girl drank, it was easier for her to express her feelings and thoughts and so, Emily wasn't totally surprised by Alison's comment. However, the way she had said those words left her speechless. She could feel all the pain she had caused to the blonde. Emily needed to tell her how sorry she was to ease her pain. She wanted to rush at her and tell her that this whole time, the blonde had always been by her side, in the back of her mind and through her actions. The brunette opened her mouth to speak but quickly closed it. She had to think about what she was about to say. She wanted her words to speak as loud as her heart. "I'm sorry I was so blind. I didn't mean to leave you and all the things we had behind". She paused for a second. "I tend to run away when things are good and the way you used to look at me… You used to lay your eyes on me in a way that no one ever could. It scared me so much."
Alison shook her head, concerned by her friend's comment. A sad smile appeared on her face. "Do you remember that night at the lake when it started to rain and you just held me or the night we slept on the floor in your room, and I told you I loved you? I bet you don't ever think about those moments anymore." She stopped as her voice cracked. "You know Em, there was a before you and there was a during you. For some reason, I never thought there would be an after you. But there was, and I was in it. I have been in it for four years". Alison had tears in her eyes, and she was shaking. She took a sip from her wine and got up from the table, hoping Emily wouldn't notice.
As she exited the room, she walked beside Emily who softly grabbed her arm. Looking into Alison's beautiful blue eyes, she wanted to stop the tears from hurting her pretty face. "I'm sorry Ali. I know you don't want to hear it, but I'm sorry I let it happen. I was selfish". Emily inaudibly left out.
Alison looked down into Emily's eyes. She was feeling hurt. How could somebody who once called you home leave you so easy? She wanted to scream and describe the agony she had been feeling because of her. The blonde wasn't angry at her friend, she was disappointed in her. Alison sighed. "Four years does a lot, you know". Emily opened her mouth to speak, but Alison quickly left the room. Alison didn't want to hear what her friend could have said – she wasn't strong enough for that. Even after all these years, she knew that the mock distance she and Emily had built was hanging by a thread. Alison's heart wanted more, but her head was screaming at her to leave before she could get hurt again. Because this time, she didn't know if she could get through it.
Emily stayed on the first floor alone for some time. She had cleaned the table and put away to rest of the lasagna. She put her hands on the kitchen counter to take a moment to think. She closed her eyes, in fear to have messed things up with Alison. She had trouble expressing her feelings but somehow, every time she managed to let them out, it only made the situation worst. Fuck. Emily shook her head and decided to go to bed. She would have to make it up to the blonde.
Making her way up the stairs, Emily turned her head to the left, noticing a faded light coming through Alison's bedroom. It was late and she thought the girl would already be asleep. She walked quietly toward the door, Emily's bedroom being beside it. Alison's door was slightly open, revealing a portion of the bedroom. The brunette paused and watched for a few seconds, wondering if she should go talk to her friend. At the same time, Alison's silhouette appeared in the doorway. Emily couldn't quite see what the blonde was doing, but the demarcation of the light between the figure and the rest of the room suggested that she was naked. Needing confirmation, Emily carefully stepped closer. Seeing Alison's naked body after all this time was making her extremely aroused. The blonde's body had toned and was now phenomenal. There was absolutely no way possible for Emily to ignore how sexy the girl had become. Emily was too weak to look away – her mind was screaming at her to get her eyes off the blonde, but she didn't want to. She couldn't. She selfishly examined every inch of the blonde's body, spending the majority of her time on Alison's breasts. They were beyond tempting. Alison had matured into the sexiest thing alive, and Emily would have to be a nun not to enjoy it. Hoping to see more, she unconsciously approached. Her foot landed on a board, making the floor creak. Shit. She really hoped Alison didn't hear that.
Hearing the noise, Alison looked up, her eyes landing on the mirror across her room. She gasped in surprise, seeing the brunette was observing her. Her cheeks flushed red as she could feel Emily's eyes upon her. She stood there for a moment, not knowing how to react, but quickly decided to continue her things, pretending she was unaware of the brunette's presence. If Emily was enjoying the view, why not give her a show? She posed for a moment, letting Emily stare. Slowly, she turned around to face Emily. She walked closer to her bedroom door, staring into the brunette's eyes. Somehow, being this vulnerable in front of her friend was making her saturated with desire and from the lust in Emily's eyes, it was becoming more obvious to the blonde that the brunette wanted her too. Alison knew they were slipping into dangerous territories, and she didn't know if she was ready for it. Ending the staring contest, she quickly closed the door and leaned against it. Fuck.
A/N : Hey guys! Did you like this chapter? It was the longest so far!
Thank you for your messages and reviews, I really appreciate it. I hope you enjoy this story as much as I do, because I can't wait to see where this story will go :)
Oh and yeah, Jason might make an appearance!