CHAPTER 2- THE RISE OF ANXIETY
Clouds come floating in this morning. No longer to carry rain or usher the storm, but to add colour to Jay's sunset sky. The Sky that Jay had been imaging. He wakes up, with sore eyes, but still need to go to works. Last night, Will had to called Lindsay, and explain everything that been happened to Jay also with Jay's condition.
"Jay feel so bad about what happened to Mouse. U know how he could react right? I hope u can call n try calmed him down, cheered him up again, tomorrow morning before he go to works? TQ Lindsay"
So, before Jay off to works, he got a called from Lindsay. He know who did this. He know Will wants the best comfort for him. He answered Lindsay's called.
"Hey, Jay..."
"Hi love..."
"Dear, how you feeling?"
"Fine..got some sleep.. did Will tell you anything?"
"I owe it from you or Will.. I'm sorry about what happened Jay.."
"It's okay...When you gonna comes back?"
"Soon enough, Jay.."
"Hope really soon."
"Why...u missed me?"
"This arm always waiting for his owner to be around him"
"Oh Jay... In his arms, that where is his angel belongs.."
"Waiting and always waited for you to comes back...missed you so bad."
Lindsay could see, his blue eyes is filled with teary. Full enough, ready to full blown out from the safest places.
"Jay... Come on..u can do this..okay? Feel strong enough for Mouse.. Grabbed his strong and bring it along.."
"I try my best.."
"U Have me, Will, that always be by your side okay?"
"Love you Dear.."
"Love you More, my big baby!"
"Heyy.."
Jay will always be Lindsay big baby, forever! That's always running around him. Will keep accompanying him saying him as one of his baby brother. It could calm jay down.
Jay seems a bit off that day. His feelings was really worse than he thought. He keeps on thinking what will happen to Mouse, get worried about it. Arrived at Bullpen, all of his colleagues could see that Jay seems a bit off. He's always been that the one who will keep his smile on face, keeps the ducks face around his colleagues. Adam Ruzek is the first one who approach him.
"Jay...Feels sorry about Mouse... U alright?"
"Yeah...fine.."
"U seems not as u usual used to.."
"I'm Fine, Ruzek!"
He seems a bit shout. He's stress about being messed around his teammate. He got an info from Voight that today is just a paperwork day. So they could rest on Bullpen while filling on paperwork, and report. Jay hearts got so worried about Mouse. He goes to Voight's office.
"Do you had any info about Mouse? Who's exactly shot him?"
"Traitor."
"They...really sucks..."
"I didn't receive any updates about Mouse... How are you feeling?"
"I'm not the only one, you should worried about"
"Don't you dare to said that words in front of me Halstead. I should worried about my workers. My detective, my kid! Watch your language, Halstead"
"I'm...sorry..."
Jay's out from his office. He's just about to scream out what he feels right now... He ended up in breakroom, breakdown on himself.. He let out a silent cried. He really need to calm down, otherwise his colleagues could notice about this. Adam found him at bullpen, he silent his cried.
"Jay..."
"What.."
"You really need to goes home. I know you feel like shit right now."
"Jay... Voight told me to send you home. You should get your mind straight, and until that, stay at home first."
"No...there's no need to get home. I'm still can't manage even I'm at home. Just let me be here.."
Adam just got out from the breakroom and he feels like he need to reach Will right now. He know, that Jay's mentally is not really in a good way. He can't even things straight. But, about the 4th time he called, it goes to Voicemail on Will's. Adam calls Ethan, one of Will and Jay's friend, also known as Chief of ED, Chicago Med.
"Hello, Ethan..it's me Detective Ruzek"
"Yeah, Detective, what's up.."
"I'm calling you since I can't reach Will Halstead, Jay's brother"
"He's with the Patient. What's the matter, detective?"
"Can I talk to him? Or maybe ask him to call me back after he settle down with his patient"
"Sure, will let him know.. Anything else?"
"That's all..Thanks Ethan"
At Chicago Med, Ethan reach out Will after he meet the patient.
"Will...come here.."
"Yes Ethan.."
"Detective Ruzek call me.. he said, he want to speak to you.."
"What is this about?"
"Don't have any clues...could be your brother.."
"Jay..."
"Call him back!"
Meanwhile, Jay was struggle on his breath. Again! He been forced by Voight to left and goes home. Will talk to Adam, and he ask Adam to bring Jay in. Bring him to Med. Instead of Will pick him up, Voight willingly to send Jay at Med.
Jay feels so hard to breath.. Voight tried his best to calm him down. But that not gonna happen in the meantime.
"Halstead..listen to me.."
"You mad...at...me!"
"No...I'm not, Halstead...I'm asking you to leave, to let you rest.."
"Jay...you really need to calm down...or.."
"Sarge... I got to talk to his brother. He ask us to send him down to Med.. he need to be checked out.."
"NOOOO! WHYYYYY"
"Hey...Will gonna be around..I Know you need him right now!"
"NOOO...I'M NOT!"
"Get a car ready Adam, and Halstead! If you don't want to listen to me, it's okay.. but don't make me to looked at you like this.. It's break my heart.."
"Sarge..NO..."
Jay was refuses on everything that been suggested to him. The good things that comes for him. But instead of just followed what he wants, Voight left him be. He dragged Jay carefully.. He give some advice, and Jay followed. He get Jay inside the car and drive to Med.
15 minutes just past, as they arrived at Med. There's Will, who's waiting for his baby brother. He got a called, saying Jay was having a mental breakdown, barely can maintain his feelings, and miserable. He had ask Ethan or Dr. Charles to looking over his brother. Once he could see his baby brother was arrived with that condition, which is Will can see, his disappointment, misery and convey feelings of grief on his face. It shown badly.. He's eyes gotten red, really swollen.
"Hey...got a call from Adam..."
"It's kid. He'd been crying like hell..I don't mad at him. Just worried about him"
"It's okay...thanks Voight"
This time around, Will hug him tight, no voice comes out, deep silent. Jay let out everything on Will's chest. So embrace of Will's love. He let himself on Will's arm. Will shush him. After everything looks good, Ethan bring Jay and his detective at the Room 5 to be checked. Will left Jay for a while. But, before he leave, he could seeing Jay through the glass door. Natalie approach him
"How's Jay?"
"Can't even control himself.."
"It's hard for him to fight on this,"
"I know..."
"U should be there for Him.."
"Yeah..Thanks, Nat"
"Anything for you, My love"
Natalie kissed him on his boyfriend's forehead. Out of nowhere, Maggie called his named. "Dr. Halstead, Trauma 3". He was running to that room. Just now, Jay was good because he know how Will would feel for him. But now, Will was out from his outlook. He's panic
"Where's Will?"
"Had a patient to deal with, maybe"
"No..no..WILL!"
"Hey kid, easy...easy..."
"No!"
Ethan grab his arm to place an oximeter on his index finger. But he refuses. Not really long ago, he let Ethan looks on himself, but knowing Will was not even on his views, he shouted, with teary eyes, calling for his brother..
"Where's...Will..."
"Heyy...Will is around there..easy Jay.."
"No.. Don't touch ME!"
"Don't make the nurses to restrain you, Kid!"
"Easy Jay...Easy.. I just only going to listen to your heart.. is that okay?"
"NOOOOO! DON'T TRY TO TOUCH ME,, AGAINST MY WISH!"
"Hey...okay okay.. Nurse April, page Dr. Halstead"
Will comes from Trauma 3, just direct to Jay's room. He could say his baby brother was being such a baby... Been crying like that, yelling at all the nurses even Ethan, and not allowing them to touch him. He's not even let April to start the IV... he wanted to see Will... After Will comes, he just straight to his brother. He take Jay and bring him to his arm. He stroking Jay's hair.. He rubbed to Jay's arm...again, stroking his back..just to calm him down.. He know what Jay's feeling right now. At the same time, he's holding his tears from break. He control it, that's really hurt to see his baby brother just like this.
"Jay...I'm here.."
"Will..."
"Heyy.. look at me...You're okay? You should control yourself Jay.."
"I can't.."
"You wants some space? Or we just proceed it from here?"
"Sorry Ethan..just begin... He need a physical contact when he's like this.."
"It's okay buddy, I got you, okay?"
"Jay.. shall we begin?"
"Will...I..I Didn't mean...owhh Will.."
"Heyyy...easy Jay...be strong for me..please?"
He let out a silent sob and groan. As Will grab him into his lap, and sitted him in front of his chest, steadily on his small body. Jay's head landing against Will's chest. He could hear every single beat of Will's chest. He feel so bad to make Will this worried..He said sorry to Will.. Ethan began to start the check up. By this time, Voight and Adam excuse themselves to leave. Right now, Will can't do anything, because it's against protocol to treated on family members. So, he get Jay's to be settled down, and let Ethan checked on him. Jay feels safe, as Will just around.
By the time past, he could see that Jay's BP just high through the roof should be, his temperature seems a bit high, probably because of the tense up. So, Ethan wants to give Jay a morphine to calm him down. But, Jay being Jay.. he protest on anything that would drugged or knocked him out.
"Starts an IV.."
"No...no I don't want Will"
"Hey...it will help you to rest.."
"Hell No, Will!"
"Jay...watch out.."
"Sorry...no please, Will"
"Listen to me, No! You listen to Me, Jay!"
"Will..."
His having a short of breath again.. By this time, Will, grabbed the cannula oxygen, place it on Jay's nasal. He need it.. and just a wave of panic attack looks gonna comes again. He don't like this kind of things..
"No, his having a PTSD, it was a panic attack"
"Jay..heyy...in through your nose, out through your mouth..repeat this together with me"
"I can't"
"Yes..u can"
"Jay...easy Jay easy.."
"No...Will..."
Will give the circle rubbed on Jay's back.. So, he think this time Jay should start an IV, he just waited to Jay, to calmed down. Until Jay can finally control his breathing become more slowly, he held Jay's arm to the nurse.
"Ethan..just go with the med"
"Will..."
"Jay..listen. Otherwise U want to stay here for the observation? or you want to listen to me? I want you to having some more rest, you need it. You need to rest, sleep. Don't make me to go crazy until I got to restrain you, Jay Halstead..."
Will seems he let a 'not so high' pitch of voice, just want to tolerated with his stubborn baby brother. Jay, still with his exhausted mental and physical, just listen to Will since he said to Jay that otherwise, he need to be treated at Hospital. Nurse April ready to start on the IV.. Will stroke his hair, held his face to distract him, from Jay's to look at the needles. 'He's gonna freak out', That what's Will thought about. But, no. Jay seems to be looked away, a bit flushy on his cheeks, and own an 'ow',
"Don't move your Arm, Jay"
"It's hurt, Will.."
"No no, just a bit flinch"
"Hurt..."
"It's okay, I'm here..I know bud, I know"
"Push a 5mg of Morphine. Start a normal saline, get some fluid on you, Jay"
It's obviously, that's needle not really hurt as he now. Jay right now, is the person that hurt in everything. From what he can see, the nurse already start an IV med, pushing a Morphine and Saline for his hypertension. His muscle got really tense while he let out his anger, his emotions, but now, Will can see, his baby brother seems okay.. He already out in just 5 minutes of medication that being handed.
After got to finish a bag of Saline, Will get Jay's discharge paper, and decide to brings him home. A lot of drama being created today. Jay's cranky, his overprotective towards himself, not wanting to be treated of the doctors, saying he was fine, but all from us know he's not fine, don't wanna any drug on his systems, been crying all over the way from Bullpen, until they brought him in. His screaming is the most memorable on Will's mind right now. When the nurse wants to take the IV line out from his arm, he've been screaming out, because the nurse had to tear something over his arm. Will got again, to calm him down. And this is not very easy things to Will, since he just wants Will.
A cranky Jay and keeps on throwing his tantrum in front of him. Yes.. Will know this, and need to deal with this. Ethan remind's Will, to keeps his eyes on Jays temperature. It's 100.2 when he came to the hospital. It's probably because of the distress muscle. He lost a lot of energy. After the Saline get through his body, hope there's no chance to having any disease on Jays.
But, that's looks like it's not gonna happen. On midnight, just get back from Med, Jay got himself to sleep until it's becoming dark. It's 11.00pm, in the middle of the night. Jay sleep through it. Basically, it's from the exhausted, and probably from the 'drugs' that he refuses to.
'I'm sorry, Jay' it's what Will think right now.. he really don't want to rise up his voice to the distress Jay, but he should to. At that night, after everything seems to be fine, Will make himself walk to Jay's bed, he wanted to check on him. From the dark on his bedroom, Will can smell something off.
He can see, Jay's bit of shivering, inside the comforter. He brings his palm up and reach Jay's forehead. He feels warm. Will make a mental note, that his body seems to receiving an after effects. Jay, speaking of his bad headache a while ago. Because of too much tears and cries on his eyes, his head could feeling the stress. He run to the bathroom, catch the thermometer. He standby a bottles of Advil for this night. He brings it up on Jay's ear and put the thermometer on it. Receiving a bit of stir from Jay.. Will shuush him, rubs his shoulder, and waited until beep sounds out.
'101.8' shown in the thermometer. Yeah, he catch early for mild fever. Jay feels a bit warm. So he locked his alarm, he should wake Jay's up for some Advil. Hope he will make it. Jay, you can go through all of this, Jay. You have me and Lindsay on your back, my baby brother!
"THERE IS NO BREAKTHROUGH, WITHOUT A BREAKDOWN "