AN: I decided to put in a little POV from our broody potions master. His character has always drawn me into his internal struggles and its important to me to let his full character out in this story at least the way I feel him talking about in my head. I appreciate the reviews so thank you :) A touch of bad language in this chapter. Enjoy!
CHAPTER 4
His body was on fire and he couldn't breathe. None of his limbs were working properly either despite his demands on them. Thanks to the venom coursing through his body disrupting his nervous system.
He could see his wand on the floor next to him but his hand wouldn't pick it up, wandless magic was out of the question right now and he had moments before he was going to pass out again.
At least Potter had the memories, if he was going to die here in this horrible place alone at least someone would have something kind to remember him, instead of just the bat of the dungeon and traitor to the light that the world thought of him. His life had been full of darkness, ugliness and misery so this really was a fitting end to it. He would have laughed if he could have. At least it will be over soon he thought, he gave up fighting and closed his eyes.
A few more painful breaths later everything went black.
"Professor?" a woman's voice asked in his dreams? Or was he dead now?
"Fuck" the voice said again. "Shit, shit, shit,"
He felt a warm hand at his neck, startled and tried to push it away. Pain flashed across his body again as he struggled to free himself from the new threat. His vision was full of stars and blackness so he couldn't see anything in front of him. He felt a spell hit him, forcing his body stiff.
Professor Severus Snape woke up panting and sweating in his own bed in his private rooms at Hogwarts as he had been now for many years. The blankets were mostly on the floor but one of the sheets was twisted around his legs preventing him from moving.
"Fuck" he swore unwrapping the sheet and swinging his legs over the side of the bed to get up. Why on earth was that dream back? It hadn't bothered him in years. Many of his old nightmares had started to dissipate since the end of the war, between his use of occlumency and his pensive. He had even followed the guidance of a fucking Therapist to make new 'happy' memories over the summers by travelling and doing enjoyable things like riding.
That had become a surprising new hobby for the Potions Master. A weekend equine therapy retreat had been practically forced on him by his muggle therapist and he for some reason had caved and agreed to go. Horses weren't even magical creatures and yet over the two days spent in their presence he felt a calm wash over him that he had not felt… well ever. It was like their power and presence could speak to his soul, or what was left of it.
He splashed cold water on his face in the bathroom and took a deep breath. It was after three in the morning and there would be no more sleeping tonight unless he took a dreamless sleep potion. There was no way he would be risking that on a school day and oversleeping, he would never hear the end of it.
He looked up at himself in the mirror over the sink, his hair was a mess and his body was clammy from the night terror. He felt old again, like he did during the war and it showed on his face in the mirror.
Severus opted for a shower to try and get his body to come back into the land of the living, stripping off his silk black pants he wore for sleeping and stepping into the gray stoned enclosure.
The hot water trailing down his spine was exactly what he needed and he could feel his tense muscles beginning to relax. He kept his eyes closed to avoid looking at his scarred body and left arm, even though the dark mark was now only partly visible mixture of white scarred lines he still couldn't bear to have the memories come flooding back. Every scar was a memory across his body, and he'd be damned if he let those dreams back in again.
"Weak, idiot" he shook his head at his own stupidity. "They're just bloody scars"
He opened his eyes but the steam filling the dimly lit stone shower was sufficient to cover much of himself. Shaking off those thoughts he quickly washed and exited the shower for the day.
0o0o0o0o
"Severus Tobias Snape Prince '' the witch stormed into his office, robes swirling around her, bits of magic flicking off a few stray strands of her hair that were escaping her normally tidy bun. She was waving a piece of parchment at him. "Explain yourself." she demanded.
"Explain what exactly?" Severus looked up at the older witch without changing his blank expression just because a Gryfindor witch was yelling at him. He could almost see the smoke coming out of her ears.
"You refused to help Hermione!" she waved the letter again as if to make her point more clear to him.
"Ahh. Minerva I am busy and," he began to explain and was cut off.
"No you don't! You know we're barely holding onto Horace as it is, did you know he has her teaching more than half his classes? alone?" her voice was getting louder and a touch more shrill.
"I don't make it a habit to pay attention to what that girl is or isn't doing." he said almost lazily.
"That WOMAN needs help! And you are more than capable of providing her that help!" Minerva stated.
"She has a Potions Master at her disposal. She doesn't need my assistance as well," Severus said, starting to get annoyed.
"He is more worried about his stupid bloody Slug Club and planning his second retirement than he is about helping our Hermione." she argued, glaring at him.
"Then talk to HIM about his obligations, not me" he retorted, voice starting to raise as well. "I have my own problems to worry about other than dealing with an overreacting know it all GIRL."
His lack of understanding the gravity of the situation had Minerva nearly as angry with him as she had been when she found out he had joined The Dark Lord as a teen. She stepped up to his desk, tossed the letter at him, then placed her hands on the wood and leaned down to pear at him over her spectacles.
"You have two options, Severus Snape. One, you give that WOMAN private lessons and help her pass her MEWS, she takes over the Potions position and you go back to whatever it is that you do.'' She leaned a touch closer to him, her voice dropping slightly with an almost evil tone he hadn't heard from here in a long time.
"Or Two, I will put you back where you belong in that dungeon teaching Potions for the rest of your career, and hire Harry Bloody Potter to teach Defense." She stood back glaring at him and crossed her arms matter of factly.
His mouth had pursed into a thin line at her threat. Why was this becoming his problem? He stood up from behind the desk and matched her glare.
"Don't you dare threaten me!" his voice raising with a touch of anger slipping out with the words. "That GIRL is smart and capable, I'm sure she's just overreacting" he shook his head, he had had just about enough of this.
He slammed his occlumency shield back into place embarrassed that she was getting a reaction out of him at all, probably only because of his lack of sleep the past evening.
Minerva dropped her arms back at her sides, took a breath and switched tactics.
"Severus, she has written to the Ministry for a transfer" the witch pleaded with him, voice lowered back to normal. She pointed to the letter sitting on his desk that she had thrown at him a minute ago.
He unfolded the parchment and quickly read the few sentences on the page.
Minerva,
He said no. I've sent my transfer request to the Ministry, and wanted you to know.
H.G.
Severus looked back up at the Headmistress. Her features had softened to look at him more pleadingly.
"Please, Severus. Help us keep her here. The students will suffer without her" Minerva went on desperate for him to agree to help.
He folded the parchment, set it back on the table and pinched the bridge of his nose. He took a deep breath and let a few seconds pass.
"Fine, I'll tutor Miss Granger." he said and regretted it as the word came out of his mouth. "But if I deem she is on track the private lessons will stop immediately," he added.
"Thank you" Minerva said, letting out the breath she had been holding.
"I'll assess her starting Sunday directly after Lunch. You can tell her" Severus said, sitting back down at his desk.
Minerva gave him a small nod and headed back towards the door. She opened the door and turned to him with a quick "Good Evening Severus," as if they just had a nice cup of tea.
"Really, Minerva? 'The children will suffer'" he said to her with a slightly mocking tone.
She saw the slight smile on his face and knew he was joking with her. She winked at him and left him to his marking. He resumed his marking fully aware that he had just been played by the cunning feline of a woman; she could have been in Slytherin if it wasn't for her outbursts of emotion.
0o0o0o0o0o
The sun was out and shining on the fresh snow that had fallen covering the grounds and the walk to Hogsmede. Hermione walked on her own following a group of students down for her afternoon of chaperoning. She spent the walk trying to enjoy the sunshine and thinking about Harry's letter from the other night.
The code was tricky and she had never seen anything like it. The runes were somewhat familiar but she couldn't place exactly where she had seen them and was going to need some time in the library going through at least a dozen old tomes to find out. The roman numerals indicated that it was likely going to take an arithmancy approach to solving it.
It was an interesting problem but she had so much else on her plate at the moment she really couldn't afford spending too much time on something for fun, even to help her best friend. The ministry codebreakers will surely be able to help Harry figure it out without her.
"Ah, Hermione. About time" Septima called to her hand waving. Her old arithmancy teacher had been standing right on the edge of town waiting for Hermione obviously wanting to be relieved of her duties. "Enjoy your afternoon" and she was gone up the path back to the school.
Hermione continued through town completing a full check of all the shops and to say hi to the other teachers on duty. Once she was satisfied she took some time to pop into the book store to see if they had the book she was looking for.
She had collected quite a few books on healing over the years out of worry for her two best friends who were always trying to get themselves killed. She had figured she better be prepared in case they weren't near a healer when someone was injured.
Potions and healing go hand in hand, so naturally Hermione was gravitating to completing her Research Project for her Mastery in that particular niche. Helping people was second nature to her and if she could use her studies and brain to continue in that effort she felt her life would have meant something. Witches and Wizards around her were still suffering from the aftermath of the war and there were so many lasting wounds that had no cures.
Hermione had a little list going that was currently sitting on her desk of ailments that she considered for her project. It was a short list;
Reverse Insanity from Torture (Cruciatus Curse, NL parents)
Dark Curses without known counter curses (Dolohov's Curse, HG and The Dark Mark, SS)
A full cure to the Lycanthropy Curse or an easier to brew Relief Potion.
The scar across her chest, courtesy of Dolohov still gave her pain and was a permanent reminder of her mistakes and the agony of the war. She was sure there were plenty of other Witches, Wizards and likely many Muggles who had similar injuries and were living with the permanent pain of them similar to her.
Finding a way to help reverse the mental damage done from torture like from the Crutiatus curse was top of her list, but her preliminary research just hadnt revealed any decent theories on how to actually get started with that one. The mind was a tricky thing and she would never mess with something that she wasn't one hundred percent sure would be safe.
At some point her potion would have to be tested on someone. Curing lycanthropy was also a very worthy cause, Fenrir Greyback and his minions had spread their curse far and wide leading up to the final battle of Hogwarts. There were many innocent people still suffering from it and the current Wolfsbane potion was still so difficult to brew and offered very few any kind of relief.
Professor Snape and Horace could brew it, and Hermione was fairly confident with her current skills she would be able to manage with its current recipe. But if she could find a way to brew at least an easier version of the Wolfsbane that would help so many.
Either way whatever she chose to focus on she needed a few more specialty healing books first to learn more about curing odd curses and diseases. She must first learn all the ins and outs to how cures work and effect the body before she can even begin to think about messing around with them
The book store smelled like home and Hermione smiled at the shelves and stacks of things she doesn't yet know about, like potential friends just sitting there waiting for her to say hi.
"Afternoon, Apprentice Granger" the old shopkeeper called to Hermione as she walked past the register. "Anything I can help you find?"
"Afternoon, Mister Wort. No thank you, I know where I'm going" she replied.
"Of course you do, my dear" he said with a smile as she passed by.
She knew the store and where things were from years of wandering its shelves and took the most direct path to the second floor where the Healing Books were kept. She ran her hands along the spines, each book feeling different, some softer, some rougher, even a slimy one. She pulled her hand back at that one.
The spine of that particular book read Poisonous Slugs & Snails and their Cures, she definitely didn't need that one.
A little while later she had picked out six new books for her collection:
Healing the Mind, an Advanced Guide for Healers
Understanding the Usefulness of Muggle Biology Study
Understanding the Usefulness of Muggle Neurology Study
Curses, Curses, and more Curses
Contagious Curses and their Cures
A Guide to Odd Ingredients for Potions use
Hermione paid for her books, shrunk them into her bag and went to resume her rounds on that chilly Hogsmeade afternoon. The afternoon seemed to drag on with the weight of new interesting books on her shoulder begging for a warm fire and her undivided attention.
0o0o0o0o0
AN: If anyone has any ideas about where things are going here I'd love to know. I do have the basis mapped out and a few more chapters kind of written but ideas and comments are most welcome. Sorry for mistakes, still not using a beta. anyone interested? Happy Weekend.
P.S. Chapter 5 is written and we finally get to see Hermione and Severus in a room together. If i see a few more reviews I just might release it early. wink wink.