Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I do not, but I like playing around with her characters.
Renfield and Chiclets
Summary: Edward Cullen, PhD: brilliant, nerdy, mildly attractive, and obsessed with Blood and Vampires. Join him as he searches for Ms. Right. AH.
*PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE PROCEEDING*
This is a repost of one of my very first stories. I think I started it way back in 2009. It was taken down several years ago, but I'm putting it back up since there is some interest. I have done zero editing or clean up.
NOTE: RAC started as a (very) smutty O/s in honor of Halloween. It later continued as a series of somewhat related episodes and then gradually morphed into a continuous story.
It's a solid 50% dirty smut – literally every single chapter has a scene. The remainder includes a smidge of plot along with a big helping of sarcastic humor.
If it's not obvious early on, this fic is satire – of porn, vampires, scientists, and fanfic in general.
You'll note a lot of ridiculous and cliché lines and scenes... Some of that was intentional. Some of it was me simply learning how to write and not knowing what the hale I was doing. Regarding the latter, I *hope* my writing is a lot better these days. If not, don't tell me, lol.
In summary, this story contains:
- Questionable writing skill, various typos and poor punctuation, and utter silliness
- Lots of vulgarity and mature language. I mean LOTS. Really, just... LOTS
- Explicit and graphic descriptions of sexual situations
- Dirty talk that could be considered derogatory
- Unprotected sex (WEAR CONDOMS, FOLKS)
- Situations that would be construed as sexual harassment in the workplace
- Sexual deviance pertaining to Renfield's Syndrome
- All sexual situations are 100% consensual
- This story is all for fun and entertainment; no offense intended
AH/Severely OOC/Very M
I will be posting a chapter a day until it's complete, including the multiple outtakes that were written for various fandom charity events.
If this is not your thing, I highly, highly encourage you to go ahead and hit the X on your browser.
If it is your thing, have fun, pervs!