Chapter 11

As long as we dropped down south then that was fine by me. I had no desire to end up on the east coast, especially anywhere near Trenton. There was no more talk after that, I suppose both of us lost in our own thoughts. What was bothering me was why I had felt so uncomfortable in Hoquiam. As far as I was aware no one would be looking for me which only really left the people that I'd met there. There was no one who knew about the work that I'd done for Jenson or Greg and really no reason for me to feel threatened. I fell asleep telling myself that maybe it had been time to leave though that had me feeling guilty that I had dragged Xander with me.

I woke to the sound of sneezing which really startled me. In front of where I was laying, I could see that the door was open and from the bright rays of light infiltrating through it and every crack in the walls that it was morning. Xander sneezed again but I could understand why now. The shafts of light highlighted the particles of dust as they floated in the air.

"Sorry I need to get outside"

Another sneeze emanated from beyond the door and had me sitting up, just missing my head on the bunk bed above me. I'd slept in my clothes so was sure I smelt slightly and was probably covered in dust. I walked across to the block making use of the paper towels to dry my hands and face before returning back to the hut. Xander was sat astride the bike holding out my jacket and helmet so without saying anything I pulled my rucksack onto my back and climbed behind him. It had to be very early because I didn't see anyone as we drove through the site and even the cabin that served as a reception was closed. The feel of the cold air through my jeans and thin gloves certainly brought me awake. Time passed as he drove along the narrow roads until I was aware of us coming to a junction.

"We need to hit the highway. I'll need gas and we could probably do to pick up some supplies. No one will recognize us. Sometimes it's easier to hide in a crowd"

Main route was an understatement. We were on the interstate travelling along a three lane carriageway. As Xander increased his speed my arms went around his waist so that I could feel as he lent with the bike as he started to weave past cars. Did I close my eyes definitely, did it feel exhilarating, yeah okay it did.

I could understand why Xander had chosen this route, it was faster than the back roads especially with the hills and trees that we were curving around. Then the road seemed to flatten out with miles of straight roads ahead of us. Traffic was heavier with other roads merging and options to leave the carriageway. From the signs that went flying past me I caught sight of the name Spokane and judging from where Xander was turning I assumed that we were heading there.

Our speed decreased as the buildings around us appeared, buildings that were mainly built from brick set on either side of wide streets. As a city it seemed clean and quiet and certainly homed a lot of the fast food outlets that I'd been used to back home. Xander seemed to know where we needed to be because we were soon parking in front of a large shop that looked to sell outdoor gear. I followed him as he entered the shop not really knowing what he was after here and was surprised when he stopped in front of a rack that held ladies leggings.

"Find a pair of insulated leggings, waterproof trousers and maybe some combat trousers. Oh and some thick socks and boots. I'll be over there when you're done"

I felt a wad of notes being pushed into my hand and before I could object, he was walking away from me.

"We don't leave until you have what we need"

Came back to me just as I was about to refuse his money. The prices weren't too bad and old habits die hard because I managed to find most of the items on sale rails. I added a thick hoodie and fleece shirt that both came down to the top of my thighs, along with a hat and a pair of sunglasses. Once I'd paid for everything, I went in search of Xander surprised to find him in a small café area at the rear of the shop. As I approached him, I noticed that he was working on an electronic pad, part curious and part worried with what he was doing. As he saw me, he looked up and smiled at me, looking at the chair next to him. Sitting down I was looking at the screen of the pad seeing a map.

"We're here in Spokane. It should take us about 26 hours to drive to Chicago then it's only 15 hours down to Louisiana. Of course, we'll do it in stages and keep away from the main routes"

"Why Louisianna?"

It was somewhere that I had never imagined going to before and to be honest I didn't know anything about it or its appeal.

"New Orleans is close and Lafayette and Huston. Plus, it's warm and quiet down there"

I know that I was frowning because to me it sounded as though Xander was expecting for us to be there for a long time.

"Xander, you have a life and a job. You can't stay with me. I can't let you do that. Just get me to Chicago and then we can go our separate ways. Please Xander"

I knew that I was pleading with him, but I couldn't be responsible for Xander staying with me. What kind of life did he expect? He was young and bright with everything in front of him but not if he stayed with me.

"What about you?"

I could see that he hadn't really thought through what he'd said, that being with me would be an endless life of running. From what I wasn't sure, but I didn't want that for him.

"I'll manage. I can find work and make my way. Maybe I am a survivor"

He smiled at that and as he looked down at the map, I was so hoping that he agreed with me. I'd have to make sure of that or when we got closer to Chicago, I'd have to plan how to lose him. As he closed down the screen a waitress brought over two mugs that looked to have hot chocolate in them and then two plates with toasted cheeses arrived. It was after I'd finished eating and taking a drink that the issue of money came to me.

"Xander, I have some money, so you don't need to pay for the clothes"

I pushed the wad of notes that he'd given to me over toward him probably making him wonder how I had cash with me. I didn't want him to think that I'd stolen it so was quick to tell him how I had it.

"When I left home, I closed my bank account so that I'd have cash with me. I only spent money on bus fares so had a lot left by the time I got to Hoquiam. Jenson wouldn't take any payment from me in fact he insisted that if I worked for him then my pay would be for my accommodation and food"

I didn't give Xander a choice as I pushed the money into his hand and folded his fingers over it. At least he kept it and without a word put it into his pocket. As soon as we'd finished at the café and packed my new items into my rucksack we were soon driving out of Spokane. Sometimes we were on the main route other times Xander would turn onto a back road. I was glad of the waterproof trousers because they did give me some protection from the wind on my legs. That evening we stopped at a site just beyond Missoula, a place not dissimilar to the previous site, only there seemed to be more young people around.

The cabin that Xander secured was an improvement with the luxury of a bedroom and living area. After finding the shower block, I felt much better wearing the cargos and hoodie and actually felt that just maybe I'd done the right thing. I wasn't stupid, I knew that I'd probably be a nomad for the rest of my life. That's what happened when you had no home and no family to keep you in one place.

Xander was sat on a bench just in front of the cabin when I got back and without an explanation he stood up and took my hand. He led me along a small path, through some trees into a clearing where some other people were sat around. There was a large grill where some men were standing with women sat on blankets on the grass and children playing. It seemed that Xander had burgers and buns, so I left him at the grill to watch them cook, while I found somewhere to sit.

Those burgers tasted amazing and as we sat eating, I realized that I'd never experienced camping before. As a family we'd never been away on holiday. We spent days at Point Pleasant by the beach but for some reason the idea of going away, especially camping, had been vetoed by my mother. Maybe it was below her and not something that someone from the Burg would do. Who knew? I knew that my father had worked long hard hours to keep her in the style that she aspired to.

"What are you thinking?"

I turned and looked at Xander a bit embarrassed at how quiet I'd been.

"I've never been to a place like this. We couldn't afford holidays as a family though we used to go to, err, to the beach"

We both looked out over the clearing, I hadn't realized that someone had lit a fire inside some stones and watched as the embers circled and floated up into the sky. I was captivated as I watched it but then suddenly there was bright plume of flames shooting up into the air, a crackling sound that pierced the silence around me.

I was seeing the flames as they licked around the car, the orange of their tongues giving over to plumes of smoke, and there behind the window I saw a face that I recognized. I was running and screaming toward the fire because I had to get her out, I had to save her regardless of how much the heat from the metal hurt.

I could feel the sobs wracking at my lungs and the tears streaming down my face. I was trying so hard to get to the car, but someone was stopping me, holding me tight.

"I have to get to her, let me go, I have to get her out"

The way that my body was rocking didn't feel real. I couldn't remember what happened or where I was. As the sobs began to diminish and my heart started to slow down, I could hear someone close to me. Their arms wrapped tightly around me, their head next to mine.

"It's okay, it wasn't real. It was just a memory"

Was I hearing right? That couldn't be right. It was there, the fire and the car. The heat and the sound were real.

"Girl, it isn't happening now. Look at me"

The voice didn't belong here, and the words sounded strange but as I continued to be rocked, I seemed to calm down.

"Shush, just relax"

I don't know how I did, I mean relax, and it took a while before the crying and shaking stopped. I wasn't being as tightly held but I knew that someone was with me. I took a deep breath so afraid to open my eyes. I didn't want to see the place where my car had exploded, the charred black ground the only thing left. I knew I had to look, to relive the horror and feel the guilt but as I opened my eyes I wasn't where I thought I would be. Sunlight was drifting down through branches that were bending with the wind. Leaves were falling like confetti, dancing as they floated to the ground. I couldn't place where I was, maybe this was the dream and I'd wake up back in the real world.