Chapter 31

I remembered that he'd mentioned us having lunch together before he left that morning, but I didn't make a move to change my position. Ranger had been my rock for the past few weeks, just like he had been in the past. Living together was easy, it always had been and the way he held me, touched me or even gave me a friendly kiss was familiar between us. For a man who was so in control of his life, he was actually a very tactile person. I had to keep telling myself that that was who he was and would always be. He was very loyal to his friends, and I felt privileged to be one of those lucky people, but there would never be anything more. I wasn't sure if I could cope with that. I wanted more but knew every phrase that he'd ever said to me as a way to dissuade me. I knew the score, so I had to protect my heart and keep it tightly locked up before it shattered into a million pieces. Self preservation was becoming second nature to me now.

I untangled myself from the chair and walked through to the lounge surprised that the couches had been pushed to one side of the room. I watched as Ranger spread a blanket on the floor and then placed a basket in the middle of the blanket. I felt as he pushed me to sit down at the edge of the blanket and realized what he was doing.

"Are we having a picnic?"

A sound confused me, and I was focusing on what it was when realization dawned on me. It sounded like the sound of the wind through trees, the rustling of branches creaking as they moved and even the soft rattle of leaves moving. Items had appeared on the blanket around the basket, breads, cheeses, olives in glass jars, tomatoes and grapes. It was magical and I really appreciated that Ranger had thought of doing this.

"I didn't think that it was warm enough to do this outside and probably not a wise move"

"I love it, thank you"

It was strange really because so far, I hadn't wanted to go out of the building. Normally I'd be feeling hemmed in and going stir crazy. Not now. Maybe the trauma of what I'd been through had changed my perspective or maybe I was just too frightened to go out? I didn't know so I enjoyed my picnic on Ranger's floor surprised when our conversation veered to talking about childhood memories. I suppose Ranger was trying to help me cope with losing grandma so his stories about his grandmother down in Miami were both interesting and amusing. Man, she was a hard woman, then again maybe she had to have been to get Ranger to toe the line.

Just as we were finishing the strawberries the sound of a phone interrupted us. I expected him to answer his but instead he looked at me.

"It's your phone Babe"

I spied the bag from the day before and hunted for the phone, managing to run my finger across the screen before the caller gave up. I was very wary of who might have been on the other end because I knew very few people had this number.

"Annie, I almost gave up and decided you were nowhere near your phone"

"Xander. I just never expected someone to call me. Are you okay?"

I hadn't seen Xander since we'd picked up Cassie from Mooner's and Xander had gone to the safe house so was concerned with how he was doing.

"I'm fine. The bruises are just about gone. I'm real sorry for being so stupid"

"It's okay, you know now"

I mean what did I say. Yeah, he'd been really stupid and someone could have been really badly hurt or I could have been kidnapped, again?

"Xander it's in the past. So how's work going"

Yep, time to change the conversation.

"I've been going through Jenson's computer and helping to chase down some of the people that he had files on"

I already knew that nothing had come to fruition through Ranger's conversation with Greg. I bit my lip because I wasn't going to tell him about the file, the file that I'd found on the pen drive or on the searches that I'd done. The thing was I wasn't sure why not.

"You had help though, didn't you?"

"Sure. Jenson is so disorganized though. The way that you'd recorded everything was great, so we soon ruled out any recent cases. Anya has been keeping things up to date, you know, invoices and such. Robert though, he's anal about details. He had me go through every piece of work that you'd done"

I found it strange that Robert had got involved with looking through things with Jenson.

"Did he ever write that article?"

"Yeah. Anyway, thankfully, he's left to follow up on his next assignment"

I wondered what that one would be about but decided that Xander probably wouldn't have been told.

"What have you told Jenson, about me I mean?"

Because I was sure that he would have asked where I was.

"That you're working a job for Greg. Greg had me set up on that game again, you know, so we could maybe bait someone. Nothing has happened, we haven't had anyone turn up"

Which could mean that whoever it was that was looking for me knew that I wouldn't be with Xander now. I doubted that it had been Lawrence because he wouldn't have known my association to Xander.

"Err, Annie. Greg was asking me if I thought you'd come work for him"

I wasn't sure how to respond to that because it was something that had never crossed my mind. I mean I had enjoyed the work that I'd done but was that where my life would move to? I knew that I would never go back to bounty hunting but what Xander was saying seemed too much to think about.

"I don't know. I have to sort out the mess here first"

"I told him that, but he knows how good you are so keep his offer as a future possibility, okay?"

"Okay"

I just looked at the phone after we finished talking, the offer of somewhere to work unnerving me slightly.

"Babe, is everything okay?"

"Yeah. That was Xander. He apologized for being stupid and then gave me an update of what's been going on at Jenson's office"

I didn't want to mention the offer of a job with Greg to Ranger. Maybe I just didn't want to hear him say that it would a brilliant opportunity for me, and I should do it. I didn't want him to be pushing me away from him again, this time toward a job that was miles away.

"So why the deep thoughts?"

"The man who attacked Xander, who was he?"

I knew that I'd surprised Ranger with my question. Maybe it was talking with Xander and thinking about how he'd been hurt bit it had me realizing that I knew nothing about the man who was responsible. I must have said something that Ranger didn't like because his blank face fell into place. That to me meant that I hadn't been told everything.

"I told you, some thug who was employed to pick you up. The police arrested him, so we didn't get a chance to question him properly and whoever his partner had been disappeared"

I stared at Ranger because I really didn't believe him. He was definitely hiding something from me and him moving the basket that was now repacked and folding the blanket only emphasized my feelings. I waited until he'd finished tidying up and then followed him through to the kitchen as he placed food left over into the fridge.

"No, you don't lie to me Ranger. There's more so you have to tell me"

That had the effect of him turning round and looking at me. I was annoyed so continued to stare back at him and I was also pissed off because that blank face was still in place.

"Ram managed to find out who he is and traced him. He works for a small mercenary company, one who take on jobs just for the money"

"Not an ethical mercenary then"

That just came out because I remembered the conversation that I'd had with Xander and what Gregory's company did. If that man worked for a company, then someone had paid them to find me and probably paid a lot of money. So, who did I know that had a lot of money yet knew that I'd worked with Jenson?

"I didn't want to frighten you or have you worried"

I hadn't realized that Ranger had moved so close to me and looked up to his face once more. The blank face had gone, and, in its place, I could see that he was worried. Was he worried about what he'd discovered or that I'd do or say something stupid? Could I still be annoyed with him?

"It wasn't Lawrence because he doesn't know that I was working with Jenson. Someone else is after whatever Chiconi and his crew stole, I'm sure of that now. It can only be one of three people who knew that I was there, and that Jenson maybe had files from that time. Jenson himself, which I doubt. Anya or her husband Robert or even Anya's mother"

"Do they have that kind of money, to employ men?"

I shook my head because I knew that they didn't but what if?

"Did you know that when you get annoyed that your eyes change to a midnight blue?"

I looked up at Ranger surprised when he said that because I had no idea what my eyes looked like. Why would he tell me that? His hand against my cheek had me immobilized, just looking at him, looking into those beautiful deep brown eyes of his. I didn't step away from him as he stepped closer, nor did I shun his movement because the soft touch of his lips on mine had my heart racing. I felt him grazing across my mouth, nipping so opened my mouth to feel the invasion into my mouth. His hand moved to the back of my head as he deepened the kiss.

Long lost feelings surged through me, coiling inside me as our tongues danced, explored and tasted. I was breathing pretty quickly as his mouth moved away from me but was pleased when he stayed close to me, his arms around me and his face next to my head.

"I've wanted to do that for an age, but I didn't know how you would react"

Why would he not know how I would react? I mean he always used to steal kisses from me. In the alley by the bonds office, in my apartment. Why was he worried about doing it now? Maybe he felt the confusion in my body as I tensed and knew that he needed to give me some sort of explanation.

"You've been through a traumatic and emotional time, and I didn't want to add to it by doing something stupid"

This time I did step away and even turned away from him trying to figure out exactly what he meant. The only trauma that he could put me through was to go back to how he had confused me emotionally in the past. Was he saying that he didn't want me to have the additional trauma of him pushing me away again? That he was quite happy to help me but wanted the additional benefits with no strings attached? All of the insecurities from my earlier thoughts hit me. I couldn't believe how stupid I'd been. Of course, Ranger would expect us to return to the way it had always been. Friends with benefits. I couldn't do that anymore and he was right it would add to my emotions but not how he thought.

I bent down and picked up my phone and was then walking toward the door, grabbing a jacket as I opened it.

"Babe?"

Was all that I heard before I hit the elevator button and then opened the stairwell door. As I ran down the steps, I was calling Les on the phone, so thankful when he answered straight away.

"Beautiful, I thought you'd never call"

"Les, can you meet me down in the garage, please"

I thundered down those steps because if Ranger wanted to stop me then he could. Hopefully he had recalled the elevator and was waiting for me to step out. That was if he was even worried about me or what I was doing or even thinking.

Les was stood in the garage and saw me with my jacket but waited for me to reach him.

"Car, Les. I need to go somewhere, quickly"

Les may have been confused with my behavior and what I'd asked of him but at least he did as I wanted. As we cleared the garage doors, I leant my head back on the headrest, trying to stop the tears from coming.

"Where do you need to be Beautiful?"

"Anywhere Les, just drive anywhere"

I kept my eyes closed because at the moment I just wanted the quietness so that I could work out what had gone wrong.

"Err, Beautiful, does Ranger know that you left the building?"

I was damn sure that he did by now and it was only after thinking that that I realized that I could get Les into trouble. I heard his phone going off and opening my eyes noticed that while he looked at it, he wasn't answering it.

"What happened Beautiful. Something must have because you look upset to me"

How the hell could I ever explain how I felt to someone like Les? How I wished that I could just be swallowed up and never be seen again. I'd been stupid to even consider that Ranger had changed. He was a predator and an opportunist and yes, I was too emotionally fragile to cope with him. Another buzzing had Les looking at his phone again and again he didn't respond.

"Ranger's telling me to drive you back to Rangeman. Has he done something stupid?"

I smiled to myself; hell Ranger never did anything stupid it was me that did things like that.

"Is there a tracker on this car Les?"

Wondering whether Ranger would follow us, then again, I doubted it. Was he like Joe and just expected me to run back to him? Well, that wasn't going to happen. I knew all of the information now about that pin, so I'd damn well find where grandma had hidden it, hand it over to Lawrence and say goodbye forever to Trenton. Maybe I'd even take up Gregory's offer of a job.

"It's turned off. Where do you want to go Beautiful?"

I thought about that and wondered just where that could be.

"Somewhere quiet where I can be on my own, maybe somewhere close to the beach"

Les never replied but continued driving. I was sure that wherever he'd decided to head to he'd been taking some circuitous route and I suppose I was thankful for that. I refused to watch where we were going, and I suppose that I refused to think about why. I only took any notice of where we were when Les stopped the car. Ahead of me was the sea, the water looking tranquil as small white capped waves broke against the shore. We were parked on a small track between sand dunes that gave us privacy from prying eyes.

"What happened Beautiful, why are you so upset?"

I suppose that I owed some kind of explanation to Les, after all he had brought me here and probably been ignoring Ranger.

"I can't just go back to how things were Les"

Les turned round in his seat to face me giving me his serious expression.

"No one expects that or wants that. You leaving, well it had quite an impact on all of us. Ranger was demented trying to find you. He cares a lot about you"

"Maybe. Someone once likened me to a stray and maybe that's what I am. Someone takes me in and looks after me and then puts me back out again"

Yeah, Anya had been the first person to make that comment and maybe Ranger saw me in the same way. A compunction to make sure that I was safe, play with me for a while before letting me loose again.

"You're wrong Beautiful. What stupid thing did he say?"

"He kissed me, really kissed me like he used to do and then told me that he'd been wanting to that but didn't know how I'd react. He said that I'd been through a traumatic and emotional time and didn't want to add to it by doing something stupid"

I waited for Les to say something but all that happened was that he frowned at me. Okay maybe without the context of history then it probably didn't sound bad.

"Les. Ranger, well we have what I suppose you'd call a friendship with benefits. He's always made it perfectly clear that I won't get anything else from him. I suppose before I left Trenton it was enough but now? I can't go back to how we were, that really would finish me off"

I didn't wait for Les to say anything or want to see his face after I'd said that, so I opened the car door and put my jacket on. Closing the door, I started to walk through the sand dunes onto the beach, stopping to relish the smell of salt around me and the feel of the breeze as it gently caressed my face. The waves had always been a draw for me, their hypnotic rhythm as they continuously lapped against the sand and the sound as they pulled against the sand on their retreat. I sat down where the sand was still dry and looked out. No, I had no pull coming from the water to draw me into its depths, instead I wanted to find some peace from within. Be strong enough to be responsible for my own life and control the bumps along the way.

I suppose I wasn't surprised when I felt someone behind me, someone whose legs went on either side of me and whose arms encircled me.

"I have no intention of getting wet"

I said because no doubt Ranger would be worried about me walking out into the depths as I had done before.

"Glad to hear it"

I just shrugged because in a way I felt that Ranger was interrupting my time of contemplation and I wasn't wanting a lecture from him or even I suppose an apology. Words had been said and they couldn't be taken back.