Chapter 32

I remained quiet because what could I say? It was Ranger who began to talk as I continued to look out toward the ocean.

"When you went missing, I went mad trying to find you. I was foul tempered and treated the men badly. I had to make a visit to my parents, something that I'd tried to put off. My father, well he could read me and sensed the mood that I was in. He told me that I must love the woman very much who had disappeared from my life. He was so very right Babe, but I just hadn't seen it. When I eventually found you, I swore to myself not to frighten you away, that you were so hurt that it wouldn't be fair for me to complicate things. So, I decided that the best thing that I could do for you was to be by your side and support you. Today, well I couldn't help myself. Seeing you stood there with your eyes blazing I just had to act. I love you Babe and my way is strong, devoted, passionate, trusting and never ending"

I was very glad that I was facing the sea because tears were streaming down my face. At first when Ranger had first turned up, I was annoyed at him and with Les, but now, how could I be annoyed after he'd said that?

"I didn't say things properly in the apartment. I didn't want to put you into a situation where you felt that I was pushing you and adding more stress and problems into your life. I didn't know how you felt, and I suppose I was afraid that with everything that had happened to you, that you, you wouldn't want me in the same way"

I pulled down the sleeve of my jacket over my hand and then used it to wipe away the tears that were flowing freely down my cheeks. How did I feel?

Part of me felt so elated, that the man who I had always loved had said the words that I'd always wanted to hear. The other part of me was nervous, taunting me that I'd misunderstood what he'd meant, that this man didn't do stupid things like relationships.

"Babe?"

I was helped to turn and face him with me being lifted off the sand to straddle his hips all of the time in a quandary as to what to say. If I opened up my heart to him, could he totally shatter it in the future, or could this be the start of something that I'd always wanted.

"I'm frightened, what if"

A finger on my lips stopped me from finishing what I wanted to say.

"What ifs can be something that we can't change and something that we have to live with. We both have the burden of many of those. What ifs can also be something to live for, choices that we can control. What if you don't like the man that I was or who I am now? What if you don't love me enough? All that we can do is to live each day as it comes and plan for the next one to be better and make those what ifs work with us"

I hadn't looked at it like that, though in some ways I thought that he was also talking about regrets. If I didn't accept what he'd said to me then I knew that I would regret it for the rest of my life. This was new territory for the both of us, and knowing Ranger as well as I did, I knew that it had taken a lot of courage for him to open up to me as he had. I had too many regrets in my life already without the burden of not allowing my heart to feel complete.

"I do love you. I have for a long time. I've tried to hide those feelings because of what you'd said to me. To be honest I don't need a ring and as for your life, well I'm pretty sure that the lives that we've both led wouldn't lend themselves to a normal relationship. We're not normal, but I hope what we have is strong enough to survive"

The smile that I got told me that I'd said the right thing and I was being truthful. I didn't want the whole ring, children and a white picket fence. That just wasn't who I was. I wanted a partner in my life, someone who loved me, who trusted me and respected me, and I felt that was what we already had. I leant forward with my arms around his neck and pulled him toward me so that I could show him exactly how I felt. The kiss was passionate as we savored each other, tasting and exploring. Heat moved through me hotter than I had ever known it, igniting a need and longing that had been dormant for so long. I'm sure that we both moaned as we moved apart because somewhere in the background, I could hear the beeping of a phone.

I watched as Ranger removed his phone and read a message. I assumed that maybe he'd been called by work because of an emergency at Rangeman so was curious as to why he was smiling.

"Santos messaged to tell me to get a room, that we have a room at the hotel next to us"

I felt my cheeks heat up because not only had I forgotten all about Les but also because he was probably watching our backs for any trouble and had seen our interaction.

Ranger had retrieved a bag from his car, so it didn't look too much like the tryst that it was as we booked into the hotel. It was a small hotel and seemed quiet as the woman led us upstairs to our room. It was a typical seashore hotel with lots of items and pictures depicting the beach from large seashells to drapes covered in fish. Not that those types of fish were native to around here. The room was quaint, okay that was a polite way of saying that it was small but as soon as the door was locked behind us, I didn't notice. I only had eyes for Ranger and the intense desire to feel him.

"Babe, I want you to be sure of this. That you're fully healed and emotionally ready"

I was sure, so sure that it was me that made the first move by pulling his jacket down his arms for it to fall onto the floor. If there had been any intention by either one of us to take this slowly then it soon disappeared. I had a hunger deep inside of me and I wanted it sated now and I wanted to feel it. Clothes disappeared between our frantic kisses and hands grazed over skin until they became demanding. We pushed and pulled at each other like starving animals until I was the one who had Ranger on his back underneath me. I was wanton with an animal instinct and all foreplay became unnecessary because I was so ready for the feel of him inside me. There was no holding back as I slid down onto him only a low growl from the base of my throat at the sheer pleasure that it created. I had never before been so unrestrained with how I took him, how I took from him but as I looked down onto his face, I could see the same lascivious look reflected back at me.

Our joining was primal, erotic and lustful and exemplified our need for each other. My only regret was having to slide a condom onto him because I wanted to feel him bare inside me. After I collapsed on top of him feeling his heart beating as fast as mine, I didn't know whether to feel elated or embarrassed. I had never before been so demanding of a partner.

"I'm sorry, I got carried away"

I whispered as a way of trying to excuse myself.

"Babe, we both needed that. Don't ever be sorry for how we explore our needs. Now though I want to make love to you slowly, to explore the depths of your pleasure.

That was exactly what he did. Every inch of my skin felt as though it was tingling with anticipation and expectation. He took me to new heights over and over again with orgasms exceeding the proceeding one until our final joining had the mother of all orgasms rolling through every muscle in my body. I was exhausted but sated and was sure that as I lay over his chest that I had an enormous smile on my face.

Realty hit me in more ways than one when I woke to the stream of sunlight infiltrating through the drapes. I ached, everywhere and I was definitely feeling very sore, no doubt from the many times that both Ranger and I had woken during the night and sought each other out. I had never had what you would call a good morning after. I had only ever spent one night with Ranger and that hadn't gone well for me in the morning. He'd told me to go back to Joe making me feel worthless and cheap. Okay, we'd had sex after that, but he was soon leaving me, yet again. With Joe, he was attentive but had never made our love making last through the night and any morning after activity was purely to serve his early morning needs.

So as I lay with my head on Ranger's chest I was clinging to the words that he'd said yesterday, hoping beyond hope that what he'd said to me was real. The problem was that I didn't think that I could continue living in his apartment with him if he was to revert back to his previous behaviors. I suppose that I needed reassurance.

"Good morning Babe"

I shouldn't have been surprised that Ranger was awake, he always seemed to wake up before me.

"Morning"

Was mumbled by me as I contemplated the fact that I needed to get up to use the bathroom but not wanting to aggravate the sore parts of me.

"I'll run some hot water for you"

Yep, that sounded like a plan. Who would have thought abstaining from sex for so long could have this effect? I felt Ranger move from the bed but stayed where I was until I heard water running in the bathroom. I pulled the lose sheet around me as I sat up and dragged it behind me as I walked into the bathroom. A sweet fragrance greeted me, being carried from the steam rising from the tub. I was grateful for the privacy of a screen that separated the toilet from the rest of the bathroom and was stood waiting for Ranger to finish swirling the water and bubbles around in the tub. As I let the sheet fall to the floor with the intention of stepping over the side of the tub, I gave out a small screech when I was literally swept off my feet and then gently set down in the tub. I leant back in the water and closed my eyes, absorbing the feel of the heat from the water as it relaxed my muscles.

Maybe I was aware of the water running in the shower but even the thought that Ranger was naked in there couldn't distract me. I was on the verge of sleep when I felt a hand slide underneath my neck so opened my eyes to see Ranger knelt down beside the tub.

"The water's going cold. You need to get dry and dressed"

His hand lifted me so that I was sat up and then I felt the searing hot kiss that he placed on my lips.

"Te amo, siempre y para siempre"

Was whispered as his mouth swept across mine. Now I may not understand Spanish, but I got the meaning of what he'd said and suddenly those doubts that I'd woken up with receded to the back of my mind.

Ranger was already dressed in his Rangeman uniform so after drying myself I went in search of my clothes. My panties were ripped so sighing I just pulled my cargos back on and decided that no one would suspect that I was going commando. My bra and T-shirt were okay, but the thin black sweater was ripped down one of the seams, not that I could remember that happening.

"Wear this"

I took the black hoodie from Ranger and pulled it over my head. It may have been large and long, but I felt comfortable in it. Picking up the torn panties and sweater I went over to the bin by the bed and stopped, looking down inside at the contents. Had we gone through that many condoms? No way was I leaving those there for some unsuspecting maid to find, that would just be too embarrassing, so after pushing my torn clothes inside I lifted up the white plastic bag with all of the contents in and knotted the top. If Ranger was surprised with what I'd done he didn't say anything, instead he took the garbage bag from me and placed it in the top of his bag. After checking that the room was relatively tidy, we were soon taking the stairs down.

"Tank just messaged. We have someone watching Rangeman"

I had the obvious questions on the tip of my tongue but refrained from voicing them. Ranger wouldn't have the answers yet, but it did make me nervous at returning to the building. Instead of exiting through the front door I was led along a corridor toward the back of the building. I watched as Ranger and Les passed each other though to me they didn't seem to say anything but no doubt they had some ESP going on between them. Outside the back exit I was surprised as Ranger opened the door to a Cayenne because I was almost certain that it was the one that Les had driven me here in.

"Santos is going to drive my truck back. Are you okay to sit down in the footwell so that you can't be seen?"

It had never occurred to me that maybe I'd been followed here or that Ranger could have been and knowing that Rangeman was being watched I wasn't going to argue with his suggestion. The seat was pushed back, and my shoulders and head were rested on the seat so be honest it wasn't uncomfortable. Ranger drove quickly but carefully, no doubt very aware of the traffic around him so there was no conversation between us. Occasionally I would feel his hand as his fingers teased through my hair, a touch that I was grateful for. I knew as soon as we were dropping down into the garage and knew to wait until Ranger opened my door before getting out.

Even as the door opened, I could see that we were parked at the very back of the garage, close to the stairwell door and heard other cars coming down the ramp and into the garage. As I stood up, I was surrounded by Rangemen giving me cover from anyone who could see into the garage. Tank, Cal, Ram and Binkie all just seemed to appear, maybe from the incoming cars, and we were soon safely walking up the stairs.

"He's on the roof across the street. High powered binoculars, dressed in black with a vest on. No sign of a rifle"

I presumed that Tank was explaining about who was watching Rangeman but to me it seemed a bit strange.

"So, he's very much visible? As though he wants us to know that he's watching?"

"Seems that way"

Why would someone do that? Could it be one of Lawrence's men, trying to keep an eye on me? That might make sense I suppose. Maybe if he knew where I went then he could follow me and hope that I led him to the tie pin. I was left behind as the men speeded up the steps and decided that I'd just carry on up to seven, my exercise for the day. Once in the apartment I pulled out a clean set of clothes going for some jeans and a thicker sweater in black. I didn't want any of the men on five to see me in the same clothes as yesterday in case they worked out that I'd disappeared for the night and so had Ranger. I hit my forehead with my hand as I realized that four men had already been with me on the stairs and the rest might have been watching the internal cameras and seen me.

Taking the elevator down to five I wanted to know if Ranger would do anything about the man watching us. His office was empty, but a lot of voices were coming from the monitoring area. There were a lot of men gathered around the screens which made it very difficult for me to see what they were all looking at. I caught of glimpse of Ranger and tried to squeeze my way through the large bodies. He looked absolutely livid, his body ram rock straight and his hands in fists at his sides. I hated to think what the expression on his face would be like. Les, who was stood next to him didn't look much better and Tank's comment had me worried as to what they were watching.

"How the fuck does that bastard think that he can walk inside here?"

Bobby must have seen me, and he moved to the side so that I could see who Tank was talking about and could see a man stood down in reception. I didn't like the look of him with his brown cargos and shirt and a vest over the shirt. He had black boots on and like Ranger was stood straight backed as though he was a soldier standing to attention. His skin was pale and his hair was cut close to his head with a face that showed absolutely no emotion.

"He says that he needs to speak to you Ranger"

I was pretty sure that Binkie didn't want to be telling Ranger that but instead of replying the men were moving to the side as Ranger turned and walked past us.

"Tank, Santos, with me"