Chapter 5. Dirty Imbecile.
"Guaahh… ahh…" I gasp with my body steaming from my training. Dad's been giving me the cold shoulder. Leaving me on my own. I do mean on my own. He won't even look at me. Only giving me harsh pointers and even harsher exercises.
So here I am. Laying on the floor on my futon. My hair stuck to my forehead and neck. My fan is going at full tilt to cool me down. My shirt is open and my arms are spread wide. I can barely move. Is this what Hell is like because I don't like it so far. I finally felt better enough to sit up. My eyes are blurry and my arms hurt a little. Only a few days away was the recommendation Exam for UA. Constant training and constant studying fills my days now.
Round and round does it all go. And here I am inside my room where he wouldn't hurt me. My only safe haven. Because when I leave it's war out there. No matter where I go there's always something reminding me of who I am. Reminding me that I have that wrecked and smoking legacy. My hands scrabble for a sheet of paper. And a pen. Writing a letter to Mom. Just telling her how I'm doing. How things are. Avoiding Dad and what happened with him like the lague.
Folding it and closing it into an envelope and adding it to the pile. Questions and occurrences. All kinds of things I wanted to tell her. Even if I never remembered her I have to try. Always ending it with… Love you, Shoto. Looking in the mirror at myself. I'm taller and my hair is ending at my shoulders. It's a little long but hey. Momo and I share hair ties. So that's something! Seaking of her, I think she's recommended too. My phone dings quickly and I see a text from Midoriya.
"Hey Shoto! So the Exam is in a few days for you?"
"Yeah. It is."
"Good luck! Hope you pass!" he seems happy enough through the text but I'm not so sure. Seeing as Momo and Midoriya are secrets I can't really talk to Fuyumi or Natsuo about them. So I just text my friends.
Midoriya goes on and on about heroes and all the notes he has on them. It honestly makes me happy for him. Seeing him being so passionate about something. I smirk at the messages and I notice that there's footsteps coming towards my room.
I put my phone away and Dad entered. "Shoto. I need to speak with you."
"Yeah?" I ask.
"Good luck with the exam." He says. That hits me from out of nowhere. I guess he calmed down since he beat the training out of me. I tie my hair back and keep a few ties on my wrist. Dad notices.
"Son. What are those for?" he asks.
"Oh. For my hair. And some extra." I answer. "Thanks for the well wishes." I grab my bookbag out of my closet. Steadily feeling better and almost fondly running a hand through my longer hair. I always wanted to grow it out.
I might have done it just because but I guess it wasn't much of an issue. Besides, sometimes Momo forgets her hair ties. So I got extra since using her quirk was embarrassing. Well it was her description of it that embarrassed her.
So I decide to just go on a walk and maybe write more about my experiences here so far. Taking out my journal and writing yet another entry about the training. The day is warm and it feels nice. Walking towards a nice park far off from home is no issue. Mostly giving myself a calm workout to AVOID killing myself from the hell that was Dad's training regiment. It's a miracle he didn't try to toss me back into even more suicidal training.
Even he knows the value of rest I guess. I find a bench and sit down. My ponytail drifting quietly in the breeze with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company. I sit and jot a few things down in my journal. Mostly things about how my rules aren't really working anymore. How brutal things got and are still getting. How Dad is relentless. How scared he makes me. I can't show it but I'm terrified. My pillow was wet with all the tears I held back last night. Of course Fuyumi had to wash them but I didn't want to tell her how I felt.
It reminds me of an odd memory either dredged up from where I came from or from my new life here. I don't get concrete memories but I do get feelings. Some form of deja vu when I see certain heroes or hear about certain events. Maybe I used to have a strong attachment to those things and it carried over from the old life? I sigh and close my journal. All the memories and odd feelings listed and categorized. I almost take constant notes of things that I get an odd Deja Vu from. Maybe writing down things I remember.
My walk doesn't take long before I sit down quietly in front of the ocean. Feet in the water. Looking at the sun shining off the water. Feeling the warmth and the coolness of the ocean. Something about it just feels good. Sometimes I like to sit and just do that. Just a day or two off from the exam and I already feel the creeping nervousness dripping into my mind. I get on my feet after getting my shoes back on. Glad enough to have this time to myself.
Because soon the exam would change everything.
The commute to UA the day of the exam was tense. Just the feeling of maybe failing has me shaking from nervousness. The train slowly came to a halt just in the limits of the school. Of course Dad would have driven me but I didn't want his old lady driving to make me late. I fiddle with the zipper on my tracksuit jacket. Dread shooting through me. Clawing and biting at my heart like a rabid dog. I take a shaky breath and look down at my extra hair tie and make sure my own ponytail is nice and tidy.
I hope to whoever or whatever I believe in that I pass this thing. One of my weakest subjects was Mathematics and still is. I walk towards the huge H-shaped building following the signs to the Recommendation section.
"Todoroki!" I hear a voice behind me and see Momo coming towards me. Hair billowing behind her and bang whipping around. "I'm not late, am I?" she asks. Her cheeks flushed from running and hair messy.
"Nah." I answer. "You forgot a hair tie, didn't you?"
She smiles with her eyes looking away from mine. Her hands lock together, "Well… yes." She bows a little, "I'm so sorry to bother you but can I-" I gently set a hair tie in her hand and close it.
"I got twenty, Momo." I say with a fond smile, "Besides. It's fine. You don't need to apologize if you need something from me. Now if it becomes an often thing… well I think I'm gonna have to charge you."
Momo rolls her eyes. "Oh hardy har har, Todoroki!" she scoffs.
I feign getting hurt. "Grgh! Oh you WOUND me, Yao-yo-rozu!" I misjudge my trajectory and almost crash into the ground but suddenly I feel someone grab my hand. Momo laughs and hoists me back onto my feet. Deja vu comes back at that moment. Sometimes I get too excited and when I do I misjudge what I'm going to do. Add that to the journal. Momo and I walk side by side. My cheeks flushing at the thought that she grabbed my hand.
She wasn't blushing but she was sticking close to me. Maybe because she thought I would fall again. Not that I needed it but I didn't want to shove her away about it. We get split into two groups. One of us being many guys and then there's one with mainly girls. I just focus on what I have to do. The writing section went by without much incident. But the feeling of familiarity from the teacher passing them out couldn't go without note. The fact he looked like he didn't want to be there and tired as all get out.
Honestly, I feel the same way as he does. After some time, I was able to finish the writing test in no time. As much as I didn't want to rush, I felt confident for the first time in a long time. So I entered in my answers and soon enough got back the final verdict.
I passed. All my hopes and dreams are coming true. Now it comes down to the practical part of the exam. That's where things go to die most of the time. That and the interview. We all go out to this big track. The daylight shines across the track as I wait for the next event. Strutting out is a man who I could only describe as if the entire leather section of a clothing store fused to his body with the biggest pompadour in the history of anything with a small mustache on his face.
His green eyes stare at all of us from behind bright orange glasses. "Yo yo yo! What is up my little listeners! Pop a squat kiddos!" He yowls. His voice is louder than a megaphone. At least not using his quirk but I see him yelling over one.
"So today my brave little listeners I got something to getcha fired up!" He exclaims "Six of yall will be running this track! Well time ya and record yer scores! Don't hold back on using your quirks!"
He suddenly leaps to his feet and grabs a ream of sheets with big numbers going down the line and smacking them on our chests. I notice a big boy with buzzed short black hair staring at me. I just glance at him and wave.
He walks over as we all take our places. I roll up my sleeves. "Hey! You're Endeavor's son right?!" he yells. I nod and keep my guard up. Mostly because I don't want to draw attention to myself because whenever someone figures it out it never ends well.
I chuckle a little at the memory of Midoriya yelling about it. The new kid slams his head onto the ground.
"My name is Yoarashi! Inasa Yoarashi!" He declares standing back to his feet. I bow politely.
"Todoroki. Shoto Todoroki. You're really energetic."
"Oh boy am I! This has got me so jazzed! Me racing against the son of the number two hero!"
"Don't say that." I say. "I'm tired of that. Call me Shoto." he grins and nods.
"Okay! Don't you dare hold back on me Shoto!" he replied. I grinned and Present Mic raised his voice.
"On your marks!" He calls. My hands are ready to deliver my victory. Heat and cold coursing through me. The wind picked up beside me.
"Get set!" Mic continues as sarks flare and dance in the wind. My ice is beginning to spread below me.
'GO!" He yowls as I take off like a rocket. Shooting through the track like a speed skater. Doing the arm thing and zooming on the ice as I make it. The world around me is a blur of color and sound. All I see is the finish line in front of me.
Nothing mattered more than that. Nothing mattered more than getting here. I spread my left hand out behind me. Remembering something about jets from Dad. The heat builds and just before I could hear Dad in my mind screaming at me that this was a bad idea and the mental image of Fuyumi blubbering out my eulogy it gets shoved out. 'Here goes nothing…' I think. 'Flashfire Fist… JET BURN!' Suddenly I feel my face blowing in the air like that movie with the cowboy doll and spaceman. My ice goes crazy trying to keep up. Suddenly I slam into the ground. Rolling and eating the pavement.
Luckily I knew how to fall. I land on my back spread eagle with Inasa looming over me.
"DUDE! THAT WAS SICK!" he yells. "You went so fast! Holy shit it was like you… you went… nyoom."
"Hi… I'm… ugh… Shoto… Todoroki… Welcome to Jackass…" I groan getting to my feet. "I'm fine! Just… just a little… woozy."
"Sheesh…" Inasa sighs, shaking his head. "You were that scared of losing?"
"No. Just thought it would be a good idea." I sigh. "What… did I actually win?"
Inasa rocks his hand back and forth. "Sorta… I mean I did beat you but after I landed you overshot the goal." he says. "Either way, it's crazy what you did." I stretch a little and the final test was an interview. Not sure with who or about what but I had to do it. I take off my tracksuit jacket and fold it. Putting it into my backpack. I see a lot of guys leaving and even some girls.
Inasa and I watch them go. "Wow. They're not kidding." He says. "Guess they narrowed us down already."
"One last test." I say. "One last test and I can go home."
So when I saw the teachers doing the interviews, I half expected to be interviewed by someone I didn't really know so I would just do it painlessly. Well at this rate the feeling of familiarity better be comfy because the moment I saw who was interviewing me it went crazy. A mixed ball of sadness and attachment… also a sense of… I don't know. Contentment filled me. Her blue eyes met my gaze and a slight smile curled on her face. Long dark purple hair flaring out everywhere. Wearing dominatrix gear but that wasn't the issue.
"Ah! Todoroki!" She says. Her smile widening. "Take a load off!"
I shuffle into the room. My cheeks flush crimson. Not because of her. But just because these feelings are so conflicting. I settle in and she takes out a sheet of paper. Her eyes gleamed. Seeing how flustered I was.
"Hey. It's alright Todoroki." She says, "Of course it's normal for me to get a reaction like this."
I clear my throat. "I meant no disrespect." I say. "It's all just because I'm nervous."
"Honest. I like it." She says. "So what makes you want to be a hero?"
"Well…" I begin. "My father is Endeavor as you know and… and I admire him as a hero." she clicks her tongue sketically. Her eyebrow raised slightly. I don't know what I did wrong but what she says next sends shock coursing through me.
"That's not the real reason," she asks. "Come on. Gimme the real reason sweetie."
I take a deep breath and I blurt out. "I just want to see my mom. I want to help my family out." I admit. "I want… I want to just…"
I look down miserably at my hands clenching my pant legs. "I… I don't know. But if I don't get in I might…" My hands shake and my eyes threaten tears but I look back up at her. She's writing this all down. Invested almost.
But it wasn't out of greed or anything like that. Her eyes are different. They're kinder. She's not trying to hurt me. I still look down at my feet.
"Look. Todoroki… you have to know this isn't gonna fix anything." She says softly. "Becoming a hero isn't easy. Hell, I changed the law. You should focus on what you want and not what he wants."
I wilt. "Okay…" I mumble.
"You're not in trouble." She says. "Definitely not. Not a lot of kids know what they want. Sometimes it takes years. But if you really want to be a hero then that's what you have to find out." She sets her hand on my shoulder and I flinch a little. The feelings I felt about her sort of faded.
It's almost like I always wanted to hear that from somebody. To assure me that being a hero isn't a sure thing. I guess over the years I'll figure out on my own if I want to be one or not. I say I wanted to but was that really the truth? Midnight smiles and lets go of my shoulder. I get on my feet and go towards the door.
"Oh! Todoroki!" She calls. "Good luck!"
I turn and give her a smile. "I'll need it." I answer. Once I leave the room and head out, we're free to go. With the results being sent in a few weeks time. I run into Inasa and Momo in the hallway.
"Yo! How'd it go?" Inasa asks "I got Vlad King as my interviewer!"
"I got Midnight." I say softly. Momo looks nervous.
"Well… I got Eraserhead… it felt like an interrogation!" She squeaks a little. Shivering at the thought of him. I just grin and give her a little nudge.
"I think we should make shirts." I say. "I survived Eraserhead." Momo chuckles and Inasa laughs aloud.
"Good one!" He exclaims. "Well! I got another Exam with my name on it! Shiketsu here I come!"
"Wait. You're not going here?" I ask.
"Nah! But hey. We can always hang out!" he assures me. I guess he wanted to have more than just one choice when it came to going to school. I'm just happy to have gotten through it. Momo seems relieved that we were out of it.
"Hey. You shot yourself out of a cannon right?" I ask.
She blinks and almost gawks at me. "Wait. You heard about that?"
"Yeah. We both went crazy on the speed." I say, "I used my Dad's Jet Burn and you really went Human Cannonball."
Momo blushes and smiles a little. "I guess great minds think alike…"
"More like one of us was reckless. That's me. I didn't even have a helmet." I snicker at her shocked expression.
"How did you not get hurt? Next time you try that, you better come to me!" she exclaims. "Sometimes I worry about you." I freeze a little and I look at her in shock.
"You do?" I ask. "Why?" She sighs and shakes her head.
"Because you're my friend. I worry about you because every time I saw you you looked more and more tired. It has me worried that one day I won't see you. Hearing about you slamming full force into a wall only made it worse." She says. Her eyes full of concern and her hands shaking a little.
I look away almost in shame. "Sorry…" I sigh. "I guess I was worried about not winning."
"It's not about winning, Shoto." She huffs. "It's about getting into this school. Winning only matters when we're heroes and are not there yet."
I nod and she just sticks by my side. I have a ton to think about right now with all the philosophical questions and if I actually want to be a hero or following a predestined road paved by my dad. Still walking with Momo is always nice. She seems to hover close to me but not by much. If she knew about what I go through she would be running with her tail between her legs. Or I would make her run. Because how can I ever have something like a girlfriend or a wife if I'm stuck trying to fight off my Dad's trash influence?
Fear fills me at the thought of becoming like him. Throwing away broken things and just burning so many bridges. Forcing my own children into molds that I make out of some one-sided rivalry. Just outright torturing them with all kinds of things.
"Is there something wrong Shoto?" Momo wonders. Her voice was full of concern just like she was back at the school. I flinch and distance myself. Mostly to try to not talk to her.
She quickly catches up to me. "Hang on!" She exclaims. "Now I know there's something wrong!"
I feel her hand land on my shoulder and she turns me around. Staring into her steady dark eyes. Feeling the shame and fear taking me over. She doesn't need to know. She won't need to. Sidestep and bullshit.
"Wrong? There's nothing wrong. Just something I gotta go home for!" I yelp. Momo sighs and still stays determined. It's actually kind of cute. She glares into my eyes. Intense and actually scaring me quite a bit.
"You're a bad liar. Now I know you're hiding something and I won't pry too much into it if you don't want me to but I want to know why you're so jumpy." She insists. We're just about to get on the train back towards our neighborhoods.
"Well… I guess it's because if my Dad sees you, he'll immediately try to shove us into a relationship to make really strong babies. I mean that's what he's doing with my big sister," I ramble. "I remember one time in kindergarten when my Dad got all starry eyed about a girl named Sai something. Liked tea. Real weird. Started talking about quadratics at lunch and I wanted to curl into a little ball and cry."
Momo winces in sympathy and I grin. "Although… If I get with a girl he doesn't like, maybe he'll leave me alone about it!" I exclaim. "Like a delinquent or a girl who's a ditz!"
She giggles. "You're such a carefree guy Shoto." I blush and shake my head.
"You couldn't be more wrong Momo." I state. "I'm just taking things as best as I can. I just go one day at a time."
Momo tilts her head in thought. "You just called me Momo. Almost all day today."
"Well we ARE friends right?" I ask. Momo nods and smiles.
"Of course! Well… I might need some help with something. Since I live closer to UA now…" she admits.
"Oh! Right. Right. Whaddya need help with?"
"Don't you have to go home?" she wonders.
"I lied about that, remember. I don't wanna go home yet." I say following her onto her train and sitting next to her. Sending a vague text to Fuyumi to let her know I might be late getting back. Momo and I get off and get to a nice looking apartment building. She has a keycard and everything.
"Please forgive the mess. I just moved in a few days ago…" she says. She opens the door and I'm whacked over the head with familiar feelings. It looks way different from the tatami mats and futons and traditional Japanese of my own house. It looks almost American or European.
I still see quite a few boxes waiting to get settled. Momo smiles at my awed expression.
"Fan-cy!" I whistle. "Seriously Momo. You're like a princess."
Momo chuckles softly and rocks her hand back and forth. "I'm flattered but I'm in the between. My family is quite rich." She seems a little happy that I said that.
"Honestly I would kill for half this stuff." I say. "So what do you want me to do?"
"Can you help me with rebuilding my bed?" she asks, "If it's not too much trouble." I nod and she leads me into what I could only describe as a huge bedroom. Even bigger than mine. She has the boxes in there and we begin to get it together.
She has the L-shaped tool and everything as we hammer and drill and tighten. She gets out her mattress and gets it on there with my help. It seems normal enough with her just needing me to help get settled.
Then she asked me a question I barely ever encounter. I never noticed how late it was until she brought it up.
"Would you like to stay for dinner?" she asks. "Consider it a thank you for your help."
I nod. "You had me at food."
She grins. "Oh lovely! Just wait a bit."
While I wait I turn on the TV to see all kinds of things like commercials and news about heroes and world events. With a lot of it ringing some ominous bells. Like a Detenerat ad or stuff about All Might the number one hero. Dad was reported about just as much as All Might but the excitement level was near dead. A bit about Midnight being a teacher at UA and the sudden relevance of Eraserhead. He looks like the guy who proctored my exam. Of course the name also makes me think of the movie of the same name.
Momo works hard but I get to my feet to set the table. Mostly because I don't want her doing all the work. She watches me just calmly set the table. Making sure everything was in order. It's the least I can do. Besides, it seems a little mean to force her to do all the work.
So I sat down at the bar to watch her cook. I'm partial to cooking myself but I'm not sure if the things I usually make are culturally sound. At least that's what I usually make. Paying close attention to what she's doing. Using a rice cooker and all that.
"It's not much because normally I have servants cook. But still I hope it satisfies you enough." She says as she sets the food down. I almost want to be in shock about the fact that she has servants but I just down my food and wash it back with some tea.
"So. How is it?" she asks.
"It's great actually! You really know how to cook!" I exclaim. 'Actually I really just eat anything. Bad or good.' I think. 'But she doesn't need to know that.' Momo smiles and actually looks relieved.
"I thought I did too much in one go…" she sighs. "But it's great to see that you like it!"
I just continue to eat with Momo doing the same. It's sort of different from my usual routine and that's a good thing. But deep down I know I'll have to hide this. Just so Dad wouldn't get any ideas.
"Shoto uhm…" she begins, "I have a question If you don't mind answering it."
"Fire away." I say.
"What is it like living with Endeavor?" she wonders. I grow quiet. Trying to search for something to say.
"If boot camp was combined with hell." I say. "Or something similar. It's training. And training. And more training between bouts of dread waiting in my room." Momo doesn't laugh but nods.
"Then there's the fact that I can't really have a social life because of my Dad."
"Why are you here then if you can't have one?" Momo wonders.
"Because you needed my help. I don't want to involve myself with anyone else because I'm… I'm scared that my dad will shove himself between it. But then… well…"
I smile. "When I saw you in class… I wanted to get to know you. Just know that you're my first friend. Well a real one." I stand up and go over to the door. "Goodnight. Momo. See you later."
Momo gets to the door as I get my shoes on. She opens the door for me with a smile.
"Good luck Shoto." she said as she closed the door. I smile and leave the building. My thoughts on whatever is gonna happen. Either way I'm going to try to answer that question with a solid answer.
The future will be brighter.