Soooo... Last chapter was a little tough. I know. every time I would go back and reread it, it got me teary-eyed. I kept going back and forth on whether I should pull back on some of the details, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

There was a little snafoo when I posted the chapter, and I had to go back and fix it. So anyone that tried to write a review and it gave you an error message, I think it was because the chapter had been replaced. Sorry! But it is fixed.

Sidenote: I can die a happy woman now! One of my favorite ff authors, Tufano79 (aka the amazing josie beckmann), started following my little story! I don't care who you are, if you haven't read at least ONE of her stories, you're missing out! I love all of her writings, and if there's one person that I respect, as a writer, it's her. Definitely one of my all time favs! So, thank you josie! Both for your awesome stories, and for reading my own weird creation here! Muah!

So, on to this chapter!

Chapter 3 - Plan

BPOV

After taking a nice hot shower, I get dressed and make my way downstairs and find Rose has setup shop in the living room with her laptop, tablet and cellphone.

I'm brushing my still damp hair as I walk in, and as she sees me, she motions for me to come sit in front of her.

"You want a braid today or you just want to let it be curly?" She asks, cuz she's always loved taking care of me for some reason, and loves playing with my hair.

She found out she couldn't have kids a long time ago, so I think this is her way of being maternal. So I just let her.

"Can you do two French braids? I'm not doing much of anything today, besides this." I tell her, and hold up a couple hair ties.

"Ok." She makes quick work of my hair, then goes into her idea. "So… I had a thought. Especially after this morning. I think you need a break. You need to get out of L.A. for a while and figure out what you want to do, going forward. Go see your mom. Go to Italy like you always wanted to. Go to Paris. Go to Cabo. Just get out of here for a while. Take some time to start writing again. Go and recharge and get away from all these Hollywood bitches and do something to take care of yourself. Instead of fighting off memories, haters, and all the time looking over your shoulder. You need to take the white knuckles off the steering wheel for a minute."

I got to thinking about what she's saying and I think she's on to something. I do always feel like I'm looking over my shoulder. I'm always tense. And I can't go anywhere around here and not have someone give me shit or give me death glares or looks of disapproval. Getting away from here might be the best thing I could do for my sanity.

"You know what? I think that's a good idea. I don't think I have any pressing engagements in my near future. So, yeah. I think I'll take a vacation or something and get away for a bit. And I have been wanting to try writing again, but I've just had a cloud over my head and I can't think here. Maybe getting away will let me think again. Breathe." I nod my head excitedly and start thinking of where I want to go. It could be anywhere at this point, and I'd be perfectly happy.

Rose sighs and she seems more relieved than I'd normally think.

"What else aren't you telling me Rose?" I ask, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Nothing, really. Just that…" She contemplates apparently telling me. "There's been some whispers online about… other women that may have had a similar experience with James that you did… but nothing's really concrete. I've been keeping an eye out for anything that would seem similar, and it looks like a handful of women have a forum and have been talking about their experiences with James and his parties… And I kind of want you to be away from here for a while because I think this will soon blow up and I don't want you to be in the line of fire. They'll come gunning for you and I don't want you to go through this shit again. And unless the L.A.P.D. is going to take this seriously, I'd rather shelter you from it as best I can. I can do my job as your agent, if someone wants to talk to you about this, then they can go through me, and if I think it'll be worth it, I'll contact you. It will be best for you to be out of town so no one can hound you. You've come a long way since then. I don't want you to fall back into a crying, shaking mess anytime you're out again. So until we know where this is going, I want you to take this opportunity to get yourself back in some sort of better mind frame. Especially if something comes out of this. But I don't want you worrying about it. This is going to be a trip for you to take care of you."

I take in what she's said and am a little shocked. But this is also Rose being the caretaker and getting me away from what could be something that blows up. Whether it's in my face or James' remains to be seen. She's right though. If I'm here, and this stuff comes out, it could end up being just like when I went to the tabloids and everything backfired on me. The people hounding me, chasing me, spitting on me, trying to fight me, people trying to make me look like a whore, etc. I can't go through that shit again.

"I get what you're saying. And thank you. You've always tried to protect me, like a mother would. You never even doubted me when everyone was slandering my name and calling me everything but a child of God." I hug her waist from my spot on the floor, and she leans over to hug me back.

"Sweetie, you don't have to thank me. You did nothing wrong, and you were the one that was violated, and had your name dragged through the mud. It's not just my job as your agent to protect you, but as your friend. You know that we victims have to stick together." She said in a sad voice, and kissed my cheek.

The reason Rose can't have kids, is because her boyfriend in high school violently raped her, and ended up doing irreparable damage to her. Much like I've found out with my doctor since my attack. But my doctor said it was up in the air for me if I were ever able to have kids.

Rose told me once that she went through a phase where she was always thinking of suicide. But her family, mainly Jasper, always pulled her back from that edge. She stayed with me for a long time after what happened to me to make sure I never went down that path. She was scared that, with how depraved it was, I would seek a way to end it all.

And I'm not gonna lie, I thought about it. A lot. But I had Rose, Jasper, Emmett, my mom and Angela always here supporting me. Rose and my mom and Angela were the only ones I let really close to me, physically, for a long time. But after all the talking, counselling, doctors and such, I slowly let Jasper and Emmett start hugging me again, and not walking down the street in an almost fetal position, shaking and crying.

It takes a long time to get to a place where you can be 'ok' again. Not fixed, not normal, not healed. Just 'ok'. And a lot of times, that's all a rape victim can ask for; to just be 'ok'. You have good days, and bad days. You have nightmares and bad memories. They eat at you and tear you down from the inside. There's no going back to the way you were before. You can grow, you can learn, you can adapt. It all depends on you as to how you turn out afterwards. You can be a scared little thing, or an angry crazy person. You can become a cautionary tale to others. Or even yourself.

I won't take an open drink from anyone, anymore. I don't care who it is. I won't do it. I don't trust anyone with my drink anymore. Bars, I try to be where I can see them make it or ask for something unopened. Lately, I've kinda relaxed that need to always see a drink being made, but I'm always paying attention to it out of the corner of my eye. Restaurants and bars, I kinda don't have a choice with, but I won't leave my drink unattended. And Rose, Jasper and Emmett know this when we go somewhere. If they order drinks, they always make sure I've got one that's unopened or that one of us has watched being poured.

I never get to a point when I drink that I'm blackout drunk. I usually just get to a point where I've got a good buzz and the memories aren't racing through my mind. I watch what I'm doing and I pay attention to my surroundings more.

I also took some kickboxing and self-defense classes after it happened. Hence the punching bag in my gym at home. It helps tremendously.

"I've got another reason for getting you out of here, too. There's been a couple of out-feeler offers brought to my attention. They're both in the very, very early stages of being put together, but they called and wanted you.

"First one is a Disney voice-over for a new animated movie that they've got in the works. They love your voice and wanted to see if you were interested. It's going to obviously involve some singing, but like I said, very early stages. They want your interest in the mix if you want to do it.

"Second one… I thought was someone calling to pull my dick. But, I got a call from a Broadway producer." My eyes bugged out at that. "I know. They're trying to put together a new Broadway show and, from how they're pitching this, it's a kind of 'Rock of Ages' meets 'Hamilton' meets 'Phantom'…" I tilted my head at her at that description. What the hell are they trying to come up with from that? "Yeah, I know. It sounds a little weird, but aren't all Broadway hits when you first hear their description?

"I told them I'd fill you in and they're supposed to be sending me the info they have so far on each of them. You can go over them and see what you think. This could be a chance for you to get back out there and perform. More than a few times a month at the club. And maybe get back a little form of normalcy.

"Don't make a decision on it now. Let me get the info on it and, maybe this time away will help you kind of get out of this funk. You can clear your mind and make a decision on this."

Listening to what she's saying, it's a lot to take in. But, one thing is for certain; Me getting away for a while is probably in my best interest. That way, I can get a clear head, I can try to start writing again, I can mull over these offers, and I can be out of the line of fire if these new accusations against James come to light.

Someone is definitely telling me to take a breather.

"Well, those offers sound interesting. I definitely wanna hear more about them. This does seem like the best time for me to blow this popsicle stand for a while and… be selfish and go do what I wanna do without any pressure. This'll be good!" I tell her, and I'm actually starting to get excited to just relax my brain, my body, my emotions.

"Awesome! You figure out where you wanna go and get to planning your trip. Let me do my job and get these offers from these people and wherever you go, I'll send them out to you. And I'll be keeping an eye out for any action from these women that were probably attacked by James. This could end up being a huge shit-storm for him. And I hope it goes somewhere because he needs to get what's coming to him. He's not going to get away with this shit."

"I agree. And I definitely don't wanna be around when the shit hits the fan. I'll gladly be there to rub it in when he finally goes down, but I fought my fight. These women can do whatever they're gonna do, and if they need me for something going forward, that's fine. They can contact you if they need something from me. I'll help however I can. I just can't mount another attack against him on my own, again." I told her, getting up and finding my laptop so I can start looking up destinations for my little retreat.

Rose just nods. "I don't blame you, Bella. Do you want me to reach out to them or just wait and see where they're going with this thing?"

Oy. Well there's a question. Do I want to jump right in and seek out these women, or wait it out and see exactly where they're going and what they want to do? Like I said earlier, I can't be the one to mount an attack against him. He'll have his little followers all over me again. But if there are other women that start making inquiries and whisperings are going around about being raped…

"How many women is it?" I asked her, wondering if there's enough women, or if there's more out there.

"I think it was four, last I checked. But who knows how many women he's done this to and they were too scared to come forward. Even when you were attacked. I can put my own feelers out and see if there's anyone else out there. And I know there's gotta be." Rose's wheels are turning, I can tell. She wants to get in the middle of this and make James pay.

"Quietly. Quietly put some feelers out there. I don't want this to blow up into something that I'm behind. If he sees my name involved, he's gonna seize the opportunity."

She nods and starts typing on her laptop. "I'll keep an eye on it, and see if I can nudge them in the right directions. I'll see if there's any other talk of more women out there, too. I imagine there are, unfortunately. James Hunter is a boil on the butt of humanity."

I couldn't agree more. In my opinion, the world would be better off without James Hunter.

Asshat.

"So, is there anything pressing in the near or distant future, or do I have free reign of when I can be gone?" I ask, as I start looking up some places that are on my bucket list to go to.

She looks through her calendar and checks dates and such. "Sadly, you're clear for the foreseeable future. Until these two offers come in and we can see when they'd want you, there's not a whole lot. With you being out of the limelight and being a private owner of a club, there's not much out there for you at the moment. I think this Disney thing would be really cool. You get in with Disney, and you're golden. And I think it'll be good to see if your acting chops are any good." I throw a pillow at her and she blocks it. "This Broadway thing has me a little thrown, though. I don't get where they're going with the whole thing. But, again, some of the best Broadway shows aren't obvious."

"I'd have to move for that one though, wouldn't I?" That actually just hit me, that I'd have to leave L.A. and move to New York if I was to do a Broadway show.

"Not necessarily. You could keep your house here, and get an apartment or something in New York for when you're working. You wouldn't have to stay there year round, I don't think. And if you were to go to New York, either Jasper or I would come with you. I wouldn't want you to be alone out there." She tells me, and I feel marginally better about that.

It was one thing to be out here without my mom or anyone from home. I at least had Rose as my agent when I got here. And Jas, Em and Angela. If I were to go to New York, I'd have no one there that I knew. That's scary for anyone to start in a new city by themselves. Even more scary for a survivor of rape.

"Thank you, Ro. That means the world to me that I'd have one of y'all there with me. I don't know how I'd handle a new, big city by myself." I say, looking down at my hands.

She reaches over and kisses the top of my head and pats my cheek. "I'd never send you off on your own like that. You know that. We'll figure it out when the offer comes in and see exactly what we can do. Don't worry."

I just lean my head against her leg for a few minutes. Rose, even in her hard-ass mentality, still takes care of the people around her. The people she loves. Rose doesn't let a lot of people close to her. But the ones she does, she's a fierce mama bear for them. I consider her an older sister and we're incredibly close after everything we've each been through.

Rose sticks around for a little bit and does a few things before she gets up and heads out to handle another client that she's said she's fed up with. She said she wants to drop them, but there's too much money to be made. Rose will only let that be her reason for keeping them for so long before she loses her shit and just drops them.

It's a wonder she stayed with me through everything I went through.

After spending a while researching places to go, I decide to head home for a little bit first, see my mom. Every girl needs her mama. No matter what they say as a teenager. You always need your mama in your life, no matter what age you are.

I'll probably spend a week or two there with her, then I'm going off to Paris for a week. Italy for a week after that. Greece for a week after that.

This is gonna be fun. I'm already excited as hell to go. I've always wanted to go to the Louvre, do a tour of Italian food, see the historic ruins of Greece and Italy.

Yay! I can't wait!

The rest of the day I spend cleaning up around the house. Mainly the bottle of whiskey that I smashed early this morning against the wall.

Oops….

I call my mom later that night and let her know that I'm gonna be heading her way in a week and a half.

"Oh! My Bellini is comin home! I'm so excited!" My mom screams through the phone and I have to pull it away from my ear so I don't lose my fucking hearing.

"Jeez, mama, you'd think you haven't seen me in years. I was just there a few months ago for Christmas." I mean, it's a long damn way from L.A. to South Carolina, and I don't expect her to come out here when she can't take the time off that often, or afford to. I've told her numerous times I'd pay for her to come out here, but she always refuses.

It's pretty obvious where I get my stubborn streak from…

"Hush, Bella. A mother always wants to see her children. And you're so far away, baby. We only get to see each other a couple times a year. I miss my girl." I can hear the wistfulness in her voice.

"I miss you, too, mama. That's why I wanted to come see you before I go take a little vacation. I gotta get out of this town for a little bit."

"Oooooooh, where are you heading off to, Bellini? Any place fun?" My mom's excitement can be heard loud and clear.

"Yeah. You know I've always wanted to go to Paris and Italy. Even Greece. So, that's where I'm gonna go. I'm gonna take about three or four weeks and go country hopping. I'm still getting my details straightened out, but I'm gonna come see you for about two weeks before I head off to Europe. I just needed some time to relax and not be here." I tell her, grabbing a glass of wine and going to the living room and snuggling up on the couch.

"I understand, baby. After everything that's happened, I don't know why you didn't just come home for good." She says, sadly, and I know where this is going. Even though I have definitely thought about it.

"Mama, you know I'm not someone who just tucks their tail and runs away. I had a bump in the road. I'm not gonna let him run me out of town. I wanna see if I can make it out here another way. He ruined my singing career, but I can do other things. I've got a few offers that Rose is working out to see if I might be able to get out there again. Nothing concrete, but it could be promising. I've just gotta stick it out. If all avenues fail, then yeah, I may come back home. But I don't want it to be because he ran me out of town." I tell her, unwaveringly.

"Really? Can you tell me about the projects that you might be doing? Or are they hush hush?" She's always interested in any new things I get involved in around town.

"Well, I don't really have any details for them, myself. All I know is; one is a Disney animated movie. The other is a possible Broadway show. There's no actual scripts or hammered down details yet cuz they're in the early stages of getting them together. But they reached out to see if I was interested. You know I'm always down for something Disney." Not gonna lie. I love me some Disney movies. You gotta have that side where you're immature about something. One of mine is Disney movies. I'll have fucking Disney movie nights where I'll pull up Disney+ and just randomly pick movies for the night.

Don't judge. Everyone has something.

"Oh yes, my little mermaid. I know quite well." She laughs. Ah shit.

Well, there's my weakness. I love 'The Little Mermaid'. Sue me. It came out when I was little and I fell in love with it. My mom redecorated my bedroom in all Little Mermaid stuff for my birthday that year and I felt like the luckiest little girl in the world.

I've also always loved the music from Disney movies. So for me to possibly get the opportunity to voice a Disney character is…. I'm kinda jonesing for that one.

God I hope I get that part.

"Yes, well, I can't help but be extremely excited for that possibility. But, we'll see when Rose gets the details. More than likely it's not a huge part. I'm not exactly what Disney wants to portray to little girls to aspire to be like." I say in a sullen voice and slam the rest of my wine back.

"Isabella! Don't ever let me hear you say anything like that, ever again! You did nothing wrong! That little son of a bitch better hope I never get my hands on him because I could strangle him for what he did to you. Baby, you were a victim. You are NOT a bad person. All those names and bullshit they slung around about you couldn't be further from the truth. You've always been a good girl. He just saw that in you and wanted to ruin it. He'll get his eventually. Karma has a sick sense of humor."

"I know, mama. It's just hard to think so when you constantly have him and his fans shoved in your face everywhere you go. Which is why I'm so glad I'm taking this vacation. I need to be away from it for a while so I can get my head back on straight." I tell her and soon, I get off the phone with her with promises of letting her know exactly when I'll be there.

I email Rose and run my prospective plans by her and she readily agrees, telling me to get it booked and get the hell out of here.

I do just that and start getting things planned out for packing and such.

I coming home…

A/N: Well? Still with me?

As we go forward, I'll have pictures of Charleston, Paris, Italy, Greece, and wherever else she goes... There IS one more place she'll go, but that's for much later chapters. But, I will be posting them in both the 'No rules of twilight fan fiction group' and 'It all started with twilight' pages on facebook. It'll just be visual aid to go along with the story.

I think I'm gonna continue posting daily, unless something comes up and I can't. But, I think daily works for me.

See y'all next time!