I'm so glad y'all liked the talk they had last chapter!
This chapter, we're REALLY getting somewhere.
Also, just realized we passed 100 reviews last chapter! Which means, y'all may be getting a little treat later today!
Songs in this chapter are NOT mine, not original, but they are fitting for the story. I am using one for Bella as an 'original she wrote'. Again, I'm not taking ownership of them in anyway. Just putting them in here because they work for the story. So, here's the credit for it.
'Not Ready To Make Nice' – by the Chicks (I changed ONE little word in it, but it's still the same song.)
'Brown Eyed Girl' – Van Morrison
'More Than Words' – by Extreme
Chapter 9 - Sing
BPOV
I'm not sure when I lost my mind, but I've somehow been talked into another karaoke bar situation in downtown Charleston… And I was told- no ifs, ands, or buts- that I was singing tonight.
Alice is so god damn pushy sometimes.
It's two days before I head off to Paris, and Alice wanted us to have a little 'send off' for me. So we're at The Commodore, having some drinks after we ate dinner on Market Street, and listening to the other patrons singing.
Some are good, and some are… jeezle petes, they're horrendous.
But, this is a good thing, because I think I wanna try out this new song I've been writing. I'm nervous as hell, but I wanna do it. I feel like it's something I need to get off my chest.
And I noticed they have a guitar that can be used, so, bonus!
"So, will you do me a favor while you're in Paris?" Alice asks while we're sitting in a booth. I nod apprehensively. "Will you send me some pictures back of the fashion people there are wearing right now? I wanna see if I can get a leg up on what's coming our way in the near future and where things seem to be going." She says, with her hands clasped together under her chin and her lip poking out.
I laugh and tell her, "Of course I will. I'm gonna be taking pictures of everything, everywhere, so I'll add that to my list."
Edward laughs next to me and says, "Well geez, Alice, why didn't you just get a ticket and go with her."
She raises a brow at him, and I know she's already thought about it.
"I would if I didn't have to go on this trip to go look at this new fabric that I'm wanting to use from one of my manufacturers." She grumbles and crosses her arms over her chest, with a slight pout.
Edward and I just laugh at her shenanigans.
A little while later, I'm trying to psych myself up for doing this song tonight, but Edward leans over and whispers to me, "You can do this, you know? You don't have anything to worry about."
I nod and start scooting out of the booth. "Balls in holes?" I ask, holding up my hand.
He smiles and replies, "Balls in holes." and gives me a high five, sending me on my way to the stage.
That used to be something we always did when we were getting ready to do something we weren't sure of, and it always seemed to help ease our nerves. It was kind of an inside joke for us.
I was still nervous as hell as I took the stage after I tuned the guitar. It was one thing to perform covers at the club back in L.A., it's another to be performing an original that I wrote myself.
"Hey y'all!" I say into the microphone, getting the crowds' attention. "I'm gonna sing a song I've been working on recently. Hope you guys like it."
Starting the first strains of the song as I heard it in my head, I start singing how I've felt the last few years.
Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting
I'm through with doubt
There's nothing left for me to figure out
I've paid a price, and I'll keep paying
I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell, and I don't have time
To go 'round and 'round and 'round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should
I know you said
Can't you just get over it?
It turned my whole world around
And I kinda hate it
I made my bed, and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets, and I don't mind saying
It's a sad, sad story
When a mother will teach her daughter
That she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world
Can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter
Saying that I better
Shut up and sing
Or my life will be over?
I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell, and I don't have time
To go 'round and 'round and 'round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should
I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell, and I don't have time
To go 'round and 'round and 'round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should,
What it is you think I should
Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting
Ending the final strains, people are losing their minds, cheering and clapping. I take a bow, wave to everyone and exit the stage to people giving me high fives and telling me they loved the song.
Making my way back to the booth where Alice and Edward were, Alice is bouncing around in her seat, clapping her hands and smiling like a loon.
Edward is just staring at me in awe.
"Bella! That was absolutely incredible! You wrote that?" Alice asked as I sat down and she threw her arms around me.
I hugged her, then pulled back and nod. "Yeah. It's been rattling around in my head for the last couple weeks, and during some of my down time here, I sat down and wrote it out. It actually came pretty quickly, considering I haven't been able to write in the past few years."
"That was impressive, Bells." Edward smirks over at me. "Is that your way of sticking it to the asshole?"
"Yeah." I sigh. "I've been so in my own head lately, and now that I've got this off my chest, it feels good."
"Well, Jasper says he loved it and he's sending the video to Rosalie, too, since I don't have her number." Alice says with a smirk as she's messing with her phone.
Oh shit. She didn't…
"Alice, please tell me you didn't?" I ask, terrified that this gets out there and blows up in my face.
"You bet your sweet tea drinkin ass, I did." I raise an eyebrow at that. "The world deserves to see that, Bella. It was raw, it was emotional, it was powerful. This is something you needed to say, in your own way. You needed to do that for yourself, Bells." She tells me with conviction.
Edward puts his arm around my should and squeezes me. "I can't believe I'm agreeing with her, but she's right, Bells. This may be, a sort of, therapy for you. Getting it out there and heard, may be the start of a healing process."
Well, fuck me sideways. They do have a point. Getting that song out there very well could be therapeutic for me. More importantly, my soul. Just by getting up there and singing that song, already felt like a slight weight lifted. Not a lot, but it's eased off a little bit.
"I'm just nervous of how the world will take it if it's out there, ya know, further than this bar. It took a lot for me to get that all written down and to actually sing it." I tell them, rubbing my hands together in one of my nervous tics.
"We're proud of you for doing it. That should be what you were doing all along." I give Edward a confused look. "Singing on your own. Not making a band. You and your voice are all you ever needed."
I get a sudden surge of wonder and pride in myself at Edward's words. He's right. That's the whole reason I went on that show to begin with. So that I could sing. Get my voice out there.
Don't get me wrong, I'll never regret meeting and becoming friends with Emmett, Jasper or Angela. We were a great band together, and we would've gone a lot farther had I not been attacked. But I should have been doing this all along. I shouldn't have been in a position to bring down those three with me when they could've made it on their own, too.
Now, though, I don't know if it's gonna be in the cards for me. After everything that's happened, I don't know if the world will want me to have any sort of 'comeback' in the music industry.
"You're right. I should've just stood my ground and done the solo thing. But, what's done is done. On many fronts. I'm not gonna actively seek to make a comeback in my singing career. But, I will keep writing and try things out here and there. We'll see what happens." I told them as the waitress brought me another drink, telling me that it was on the house.
I thanked her graciously and took a sip of the yumminess.
We heard the first notes of Van Morrison's 'Brown Eyed Girl', and Edward decided to pull me from the booth and over to the dance floor area, and pulls me to him for, what we call in the south, a shag.
Not the sexual type.
Just dancing.
Get you mind out of the gutter.
Edward is smiling and laughing as we dance, singing along to the song.
I missed this with him. This carefree, fun-loving, good time we used to have together is what I needed again. Even for just a little while.
Everything's just been so stressed and depressing and anything but fun.
"Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-te-da! Just like that! Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-te-da!La-te-da!" He swung me out and pulled me back in to him as we were laughing our asses off and singing along to the song.
Edward got a look on his face as he cupped my face and sang "You're my Brown Eyed Girl".
I hugged him as we still swayed to the music, and kissed his chest over his heart. Because he had the best heart in the world.
I still love this man so much.
But I don't know how to go about telling him. We've been down this path before, so it shouldn't be that hard. I'm just… I'm being a chicken shit because I'm leaving in a couple days. And I don't know what we'll do once I go back to L.A. after my trip.
After our little impromptu dance, we sit back down with Alice, who is smiling like the cat that ate the canary.
"Y'all are just so damn cute." She chirps after we sit down.
I narrow my eyes at her and stick out my tongue, which is very mature of me, I know. But still, she's just so sure of herself right now.
All of a sudden, Edward gets this antsy thing going on, and jumps up, excuses himself, and walks up to the stage area.
"What is he doing, Alice? He's not gonna sing, is he?" I ask her, and she looks just as shocked as I am. "He doesn't like singing in public."
We watch as Edward grabs the same guitar I used earlier and walks up to the microphone. He looks nervous as he gets ready.
"Good evening, Charleston. I'm gonna sing a song tonight, for a special woman in my life." Edward says into the mic, looking over at me as he says it.
And my jaw is on the floor.
He starts strumming the guitar and I automatically recognize the song and I'm shocked, throwing my hands over my mouth and sit stone-still.
Once he starts singing in his deep velvety voice, I feel like I might jump out of my skin.
Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say it, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
'Cause I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two?
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away?
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
La-di-da-la-di-da-dai-dai-dai
More than words
La-di-da-da-di-da
Now that I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close, don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
'Cause I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two?
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away?
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
La-di-da-la-di-da-dai-dai-dai
More than words
La-di-da-da-di-da-dai-dai-dai
More than words
La-di-da-la-di-da-dai-dai-dai
More than words
I've subconsciously stood up from the booth and started moving towards the stage where he's taking off the guitar, and turning to make his way back to our booth.
He stops in his tracks when he sees me, and I wrap my arms around his neck. I smash my lips to his, kissing the shit out of him.
It takes him a second to get over the shock, but then wraps his own arms around me and kisses me back with just as much vigor.
We stay caught up in each other for I don't know how long. But soon enough we hear the catcalls and whistles from the other patrons in the bar and pull away. I know my face is probably bright red right now, but I can't find it in me to care. He grabs my hand and leads me back over to the booth where I left Alice.
She's got her hands covering her mouth, but you can see the smile she's trying to hide.
We both sit back down and Alice is trying to act like she's looking anywhere but at us, but she's also trying to get a reaction out of us.
"Go ahead, Alice." I say, waiting for the inevitable.
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkk!" She squeals as she bounces in her seat, waving her hands around and acting like a five year old.
I just lay my forehead against Edward's shoulder, trying and failing to hide my own smile.
I feel Edward turn and kiss my head, then feel his hand lay on top of mine where it's sitting on my leg.
"Y'all… that was so… I don't even have words for it!" She goes on and I turn my head, still leaning on Edward's shoulder, to look over at her.
She's got such a bright smile on her face. One that probably matches mine, because I'm just so happy, and shocked, and even a little smitten.
Mostly, I just love this guy beside me.
I can't get over that feeling.
I need to find a way to tell him before I leave. I don't wanna leave in two days and him not knowing that I still love him.
Later on in the evening, Edward leans over and whispers in my ear, "Will you stay with me tonight?"
I lean back and look in his eyes, and feel a little twinge of fear.
Not of Edward. Never him. Just the fear of feeling like I'm not ready for taking it to a physical level quite yet.
"No funny business. I just want to have more time with you, alone, before you leave." He says, obviously seeing the look in my eyes.
I calm a little and nod my head. The idea of just spending more time with him, makes my heart happy.
And I may find an open opportunity to tell him how I feel before the carriage turns back into a pumpkin at midnight.
A/N: Thoughts? I love everyone's reactions and thoughts of what's to come. A lot of y'all are right, too. But we'll get to that later on!
Like I said at the top, we're already at 106 reviews, as I'm posting this chapter. That's HUGE! Well, for me it is. I can't thank y'all enough for the response to this story, and the love y'all have shown it. Muah!
I will see y'all later today!