The weekend feels longer than most. I promised myself I wouldn't go back to Midnight Sun until Monday. Unfortunately, that meant trying to find something else to occupy my mind for three days.
Friday was a good start. I had three classes, all of which are on opposite sides of campus. My time was spent between sitting in class, and making my way across to the next class. Before I knew it I was back home and binging shows on Netflix with my roommate, Angela.
Saturday I had my weekly call with my parents. Considering I'm about half a days drive from home, I don't get a chance to go back often. In order to keep in touch, we agreed to at least one call a week to check in on one another.
"Hey dad, how are you doing?" I'm always happy to hear his voice.
"Bells, we're doing good. We just miss you kiddo." He lets out a sigh. "Maybe you can come home and stay for a weekend soon."
"I would love that, dad. I actually have a couple of job interviews coming up. Once I start making better money, I'm sure I'll be able to visit more often." I shift the focus of the conversation to what my weekly calls are really for, "How's mom doing?"
"She's ok, she gets a little stronger everyday. The physical therapist we saw last week was impressed with her progress. They're hopeful that if she keeps up with her exercises, she'll be walking again."
"Wow dad, that's amazing news. Can I talk to her?"
"She's actually resting right now, kiddo. She's been having some rough nights and hasn't been sleeping the best. We think it might be the new medication. We have a follow up appointment this week."
"Well then let her rest. But can you just tell her how proud I am of her?" I request.
"I'll let her know." He agrees. "So you have some interviews coming up? When are they?
"I have two interviews, both of them are on Tuesday. One is for a local bookshop and the other is to work in the campus library."
He lets out a chuckle, "I don't think anyone could ever keep you away from your books."
I smile to myself, "You know me too well."
"Well good luck, I'll be hoping to hear good news from you next week."
"Thanks dad. Alright, I'll let you go now. But keep me updated and I'll call you again next weekend. I love you guys."
"Will do. Love you too, Bells."
I hear the click of the phone. My mother's car accident, the reason I'm a 25 year old undergrad. Some days it feels like it was just yesterday that mom got into her accident, and other days it feels like a lifetime ago. So much time has passed, and so many milestones have been met, but nothing is the same as it used to be. I wonder if it will ever get to that point. Especially for my dad's sake. I see how grateful he is to still have her in his life, but I also see the heartbreak of what was lost.
After my call with my dad, I busy myself with tidying up the apartment. Angela and I share a two bedroom one bathroom. We met my first year here at Washington State University and immediately clicked. She's not as 'in your face' as Jess. She's way more laid back, which makes her easy to live with. I love Jess, but I don't think I could handle her full-time.
When I wake up Sunday morning, I start talking myself into going to Midnight Sun this afternoon. It seems that all my resolve to wait for Monday has been lost. After all, it's only one day early, I reason with myself. Once I've settled on going today, my mood is elevated. I try not to get my hopes up too high, in case he's not working today. But I still can't help but feel giddy.
I wait until noon to start getting ready. I put on my favorite pair of skinny jeans and a navy tank top. Then I throw some books in my backpack and make my way towards the door. I run into Angela on my way out.
"Hey Ang, I'm heading out to do some studying." I make my way through the living room.
"Oh, are you heading to the library? I'm headed there soon. If you wait a bit we can go together." She suggests.
"Actually no, I'm heading.." I pause, not sure if I want another person in on this, "to another spot."
"Ohkayy." She drags out her response, clearly catching on to my weirdness. "I'd offer to go with you, but I already agreed to meet up with Ben and Lauren. Are you sure you don't want to join us?" She offers again.
"Maybe next time. Thanks Ang, tell everyone I say hi." I leave before she can ask anymore questions.
It's an 18 minute walk from my apartment to the bar. I would never do the walk at night, but In the safety of the afternoon, I don't think twice about it. I also figure this will buy me some more time to pre plan any conversation points. I would like to get his actual name, if possible. I'm also curious about his age. Considering he made a big deal about knowing mine, I'm hoping he'd be open to sharing that info.
I must've been walking fast today, because 16 minutes later I'm standing outside of what is becoming my favorite building. I shake off any hesitations and make way in.
I'm relieved when I see my corner spot is open. As I make my way over, I notice Ed at the computer working on a customer's order. I do everything in my power to refrain from doing a little happy dance. And considering it's still early, the crowds aren't here yet, meaning I'll get to talk to him.
As I'm searching through my backpack, my hair falls forward, covering my face. I'm trying to look for the book I want, when I feel his presence. The moment I look up, I'm met with my favorite crooked smile.
"Hey Isabella.. or should I say Bella?" He rests his side on the wall and crosses his arms over his chest.
I push my hair back from my face. "Uhm, what?" I eloquently respond.
"Adam couldn't stop telling me all about how Bella came by on Thursday. It took me a minute to figure out who he was talking about." He looks like he's contemplating his next words, but then he smiles and continues "when he said 'the brunette with the books' I knew exactly who he meant."
My stomach flutters from the way he says Bella. His use of my nickname makes this feel more.. intimate.
"I usually go by Bella." I admit. "I would've eventually told you. It just didn't feel like a big deal at the time." I smile.
He pushes off against the wall and steps right up to the spot directly in front of me. "Well Bella, as long as we're being honest about our names now, I also have a confession to make... I'm actually not a fan of being called Ed." He scrunches up his face in disgust, to emphasize his point.
I laugh at how ridiculous his reaction is to the name. "Well then, you should introduce yourself the way you want people to address you. How was I supposed to know you didn't like that name?" My tone is playful with a hint of condescending.
"Ah, I see Judgy Bella is back again." He teases.
I wait for him to respond with his name, but it seems he didn't catch my hint. I narrow my eyes at him. "What's your name?" I finally blurt.
"Edward." He responds simply.
I feel like I've unlocked a little part of him. But also, I feel silly that I didn't just ask him in the first place. I'm replaying him saying his name to me a couple times, before I realize I haven't responded to him. How do you respond to someone telling you their name... 'Oh thank you, that's a very nice name.' No no, that doesn't seem right. Before I can figure out how to respond, Edward saves me from embarrassing myself.
He clears his throat, "So Bella, can I get you anything?" The playful tone is gone. I wonder if I made things weird by not saying anything.
"I'll take whatever goes good with those cherries." I say, whimsically.
He chuckles at my response. "Got it, I'll see what I can do."
He steps away to work on my drink. I'm not sure what he's making, but today he's using the blender. I watch his fingers as they linger over the buttons. As he finishes up he reaches for a fancy glass. Then he glances over at me and catches me staring. He gives me a small smile and a wink before I look down. I refocus on getting my books out of my bag, willing my blush to disappear before he makes his way back to me.
He walks over and places a drink down, "Piña Colado with a couple extra cherries."
"Thank you," I respond, not able to make eye contact.
I take my time with my drink, enjoying the sweetness. Edward busies himself working across the bar. He doesn't come over to check on me. Instead, it's Miss Bartender who lingers in my area. I try to push down the feelings of disappointment, and instead focus on the school work I came to do. At some point I'm able to shut out the world around me and get lost in my studies.
xXxXx
A small rush that came in earlier has died down, leaving only me and two others. I hear Edward say, "Hey Kate, I'm going to take my 15. You ok?" I make a mental note to remember her name.
"Go for it," I hear her response.
I look up in time to watch Edward disappear through a door on the opposite side of me. I assume there's some back area where employees can go and sit for a while. I contemplate leaving now. Today hasn't really gone the same way as the previous times I've been here. I'm starting to feel self conscious that this is getting old and I'm misreading his signs. Maybe he hasn't been giving any signs at all.
I'm starting to straighten out my pages, when I notice Edward re-emerge. He's got a half-full water bottle in his hands and he's heading straight towards me.
"What are we working on today?" He peeks over at my scattered pages. My heart rate picks up. I try to play it cool.
"Right now, nothing" I sigh. "I have some essays I need to write, but I'm in full procrastination mode." I lean my elbow on the counter and rest my head on my hand, angling myself towards him as he takes the seat next to me.
He shakes his head in disapproval, "We can't have procrastinators sitting at our bar, Bella. We have a reputation to uphold."
"I hate to break it to you, but I'm confident that many of the people who sit at this bar are indeed procrastinators."
He smiles in defeat. "Yeah, maybe." He uncaps his water bottle and takes a drink. My body is too aware of how close he is to me.
"So did you enjoy your Thursday off?" I try to sound even toned.
"It was… interesting. My folks guilt tripped me into visiting them. So that was a whole thing." He shrugs.
"Oh, you don't get along with your parents?" I don't hide my curiosity.
He looks reluctant to respond. I regret prying. I'm about to change the subject when he begins, "I wouldn't say that. They're good people…" he begins fidgeting with the water bottle in his hands, "they just…" he sighs.
As much as I want him to finish that sentence, I'm more concerned that this is getting too real and he might try to escape. It's clearly not a comfortable topic for him.
"Well you didn't miss out on much over here. My friend and I were here for a couple of hours. Nothing too interesting happened, aside from all the procrastinators gathering, that is." I tease.
I'm relieved when he chuckles. "I refuse to believe it." He shakes his head, "Procrastinators know that they're not welcome here."
"They must know you're not here on Thursdays to enforce the rule." I pause, calculating, "actually, that was probably why they were planning to come back next Thursday." I snap my fingers, pretending that I've unlocked some secret.
Edward is watching me, clearly amused. "You're something else, Bella." He smiles and shakes his head.
I'm not sure if that was meant as a compliment. He's been so hard to read today. Our interactions have seemed.. heavier today. I don't know what to make of it.
Before I can respond, an alarm on his phone goes off. He stops it and says, "Well, back to work for me." As he stands up he asks, "Are you ready for your next drink?"
I look at my empty glass, tempted to say yes so that I can talk to him some more. But with how strange today has been, I decide it's time to leave.
"No, thanks. I should actually get going." I watch him as he makes his way back over to the other side of the bar. The counter is once again between us.
"Alright, I'll send Kate over to close you out." He pauses briefly, then continues "maybe I'll see you again this week?"
"Well, I guess that depends on whether or not you'll be working this Tuesday.."
I'm rewarded with one, last smile that answers my unasked question.
"I'll see you Tuesday." he confirms.
Now it's my turn to smile.