In which we learn of some of Piper and Percy's misadventures, we get to see Cerberus and uh- we see someone else's opinion of the situation.
Replies:
Thickneck: I mean, it is Percy.
Ryan Fowler: Percy is very very excited to see Cerberus, Piper is torn between thinking it's adorable and wanting to murder her for being reckless.
Undeath9087: Like I've said before, it's basically love at first sight for Annabeth- like, she already has a crush and then the circumstances is just the ultimate 'This person is amazing and I love them' for her. But I can't say more than that. And uh- she doesn't realise how she feels instantly.
Guest: Let's see how much you've predicted! I hope you'll enjoy.
Fugy: I mean, I get what you're saying- but I do love Percy and Annabeth- and I think the dynamics of Pipercabeth are pretty cute so far.
Guest: Great way to put it. You've gotta admit the mental image is great- this short beautiful girl who's known for being a famous actress just shows up, and everyone's like 'What are you gonna do?' at which point she's just like 'Hm. Kick your ass' and proceeds to be badass.
Together the two girls followed the spirits up a well-worn path.
Percy looked around as they walks. It was different from what she was used to- nothing like the Hall of Judgement, but then again the Hall of Judgement could change based on what their father wanted it to look like, and to a certain extent what each soul wanted the afterlife to be- even if the differences were only slight.
The entrance to the Greek underworld didn't look like any of the stereotypes. It looked more like a cross between airport security and the Jersey Turnpike.
There were three separate entrances under one huge black archway that said YOU ARE NOW ENTERING EREBUS. Each entrance had a pass-through metal detector with security cameras mounted on top. Beyond this were tollbooths manned by black-robed ghouls like Charon.
The howling of the hungry animal was really loud now, but much to Percy's disappointment she couldn't see the legendary three headed dog anywhere. Piper must have seen her pout because she snorted. "Percy freaking Kane you are not stealing Cerberus. How many times do we have to go over this I mean, where would he even stay-"
"Don't crush my dreams Pipes."
Even as they spoke Percy's eyes scanned the three entrances. The dead were queued up in three lines. Two of them were marked ATTENDANT ON DUTY, and one marked EZ DEATH. The EZ DEATH line was moving right along. The other two were crawling.
Percy thought quickly, remembering her lessons on Greek Mythology. "The fast line must go straight to the Asphodel Fields." she said after a moment. "I guess a lot of people would rather not waste time being judged when chances are that's where they'll go anyway."
"True." Piper nodded slowly, "But I wonder what happens to bad people- aren't they supposed to be punished- and, why do some people come here and some go to your dad?"
"I guess it's connected to their beliefs." Percy said thoughtfully, "Those that beliefs are more aligned with the Greeks would come here and those that align more with the Egyptians go to my dad." she looked around, "I guess in general more people align Greek." based on how busy it was here that seemed like a very safe bet. "As for bad people-" Percy paused, "that probably answers your question." she pointed over to where a couple of black-robed ghouls had pulled aside one spirit and were frisking him at the security desk. The face of the dead man was very familiar, and Percy blinked, "Hey isn't that-"
"Oh gods." Piper snickered, "Let's not let him see us-"
"It was you who suggested it."
The man in question was an annoying televangelist from up state New York who had raised millions of dollars for orphanages and then got caught spending money on stuff for his mansion, like gold-plated toilet seats, and an indoor putt-putt golf course. He'd died in a police chase when his "Lamborghini for the Lord" went off a cliff.
Percy had actually met him a few times- on a few different talk shows, and he'd called the Blake Adventures blasphemous lies, and he'd openly slandered everyone involved in both the books and the films.
So Percy and Piper had headed to his place, broken in and Percy had danced on his fancy outdoor pool.
The look on his face as she'd dragged Piper and ran across the water cackling had been hysterical for Percy. He'd looked like he was having a mental break down, especially when Percy had casually walked across the pool towards him and proclaimed that she was the second coming.
Piper had hardly been able to breath she'd been laughing so hard. She'd ended up letting go of Percy's hand and falling into the water. Yeah, yeah that had been a very good day.
"I-" Piper paused, "I can't argue against that. And it was very funny but still. I think he'll have a complete breakdown if he sees us right now."
"But my dearest Pipes, it would be funny."
"Do-" Piper's attempt to stop Percy was cut off by the fact that Percy let out a loud high whistle- and several of the spirits turned to look towards the two girls, and the man turned his head.
She let out a cackle of laughter at the way the man's expression twisted into one of horror and he let out a wail as she gave a jaunty little wave, grabbing Piper's hand, "My guess, he's being dragged off for some kind of punishment-"
"Couldn't happen to a nicer man." Piper remarked just as sarcastically.
"I agree completely."
And they kept moving forward- it didn't take long for the spirits attentions to drift away from the two girls even as they moved towards the gates- and the howling was so loud now that it was shaking the ground at Percy's feet. But she still couldn't figure out where it was coming from, her eyes narrowed as she looked around.
"You know if I don't get to see Cerberus on this trip I'm gonna make a formal complaint."
"Of course you are." Piper laughed, "You're going to demand that Hades takes you to the giant puppy aren't you?"
"Of course." Percy huffed the words, "It's only fair. It's false advertising otherwise, I was promised a giant puppy."
Then Piper stiffened- pointing forward quickly, "I don't think it's false advertising."
Because about fifty foot in front of them the green mist shimmered. Standing just where the path split into three lanes was an enormous, shadowy dog.
It was half transparent, like the dead. Until it moved, it blended with whatever was behind it. Only its eyes and teeth looked solid. And it was staring straight at Percy. And he was huge, maybe twice the size of a woolly mammoth, with three heads. Rottweiler heads Percy noticed absently.
The dead walked right up to him—no fear at all. The ATTENDANT ON DUTY lines parted on either side of him. The EZ DEATH spirits walked right between his front paws and under his belly, which they could do without even crouching.
Percy felt the wide smile spreading across her lips. "He's so cute!" She squealed the words- and then she was pulling away from Piper and sprinting towards the giant Puppy, not bothering to hide the pure joy on her face as she did.
"Percy!" Piper yelped her name, "You don't run at strange dogs!"
"No one tells Percy Kane what to do!" as she spoke Percy thrust her hand sideways into the Duat, pulling out the large bag with the treats. They were big bones, clearly meant to last a big dog several days.
Cerberus would probably chew them up within a couple of minutes.
All three of the giant dogs heads pulled back slightly, almost looking confused, and Percy skidded to a stop right in front of him, grinning up as the three heads slowly craned down at look at her, all six eyes focused on her. "Hey there boy." her voice was bright, sunny. "Aren't you a gorgeous puppy." she pulled the first bone out of the bag, holding it up towards him. "I've got some treats for you!" and the middle head leaned down, the howling and growls had stopped, he seemed more curious than threatening, Percy doubted that he was used to someone just running up and wanting to play.
Both of the other heads were on either side, sniffing at Percy curiously, and then the middle head took the bone, and the giant dogs other heads let out happy little yipping noises as his butt hit the ground- which immediately crushed a dozen spirits who'd been passing underneath him in the EZ DEATH line. The spirits made muffled hisses as they dissipated, like the air let out of tires.
Percy laughed brightly as the three heads almost seemed to be fighting over the bone, before she called out, "Stop boy! Stop!" and the heads stopped their fighting and trying to snatch the bone, and he focused on her again.
"You're going to pet him aren't you?"
"Damn right I am." Percy moved closer, and Cerberus whined, his left head tilting slightly as the other two gnawed on the bone Percy had given him, in his mouths it looked ridiculously tiny.
And then she was close enough to scratch his nose.
It was comical, he almost went cross eyed trying to focus on Percy- and he lowered his head further, tilting it some more- and Percy had seen that behavior in dogs often enough.
"Oh you are a good boy." she gushed, reaching a bit higher so she could scratch the spot where his ear met his head- he let out a happy whine and his tail thudded against the ground that Percy could feel the vibrations. It was a rhythmic feeling, and Percy glanced at Piper, who had a strange look on her face as she watched Percy.
"Do you wanna come and give him scritchies?"
"You know what, I do." Piper shook whatever it was she'd been thinking of off, and she quickly moved to Percy's side, following her lead and scratching the spot where the ear met the head, whilst Percy smoothed the fur on his nose.
"See, I told her you're a good boy." Percy murmured the words, "You're the best." she pressed her face into the soft fur, and Cerberus' other heads let out whines- and Percy turned, grinning at the expectant looks on their faces. "Oh you guys want scritches two? Well I guess I have two hands."
And Percy reached up and the two other heads were lowered so that Percy could get to both heads at once- which made Piper laugh.
"This is your personal Elysium right now huh?"
"Eh, I dunno where I'll go when I die but if there's giant puppies there I think I'll die a happy girl."
"I'd rather you didn't die any time soon." Piper remarked. "I'm just saying. And as much as I think this is the single most adorable thing I've ever seen aren't we supposed to be taking the bag to Hades?"
"I mean, yeah, if you're gonna have priorities." Percy rolled her eyes dramatically, "But I personally think we can spend half an hour fussing over this adorable good boy."
"I suppose a little while longer wouldn't hurt." Piper said after a long moment.
...
Hades was not impressed.
He'd been angry for months- for an obvious reason. Not that he'd bothered going to Zeus about it- his arrogant brother wouldn't care that Hades had also had something stolen. So he'd sent his Furies to hunt it down- and they'd been searching for months but until the past few days there hadn't been so much as a trace. And now he was being told stories about two strange girls with odd powers who had escaped without a trace.
Hades wasn't sure what he thought about who was responsible- Zeus could very well be right with his theory about Poseidon. Their brother had been furious about something for years- Poseidon didn't often hold grudges but when he did they ran deep, deep enough that they hadn't even seen him for years- not since he'd stormed onto Olympus during the Winter solstice demanding that he or Zeus confess their crimes.
He'd refused to tell them what the crime was but clearly he felt very slighted. Perhaps he had ordered the Bolt and Hades own helm stolen in a fit of revenge, but Hades wasn't sure that was the case either.
So yes, he was in a bad mood when the message arrived from Charon.
A simple note sent through the darkness itself.
'My Lord Hades,
There are two mortal girls heading to your palace, they are strange ones but I believe you will wish to speak to them so I brought them across the Styx. One is almost certainly a Half-blood but I do not know what the other is. She bares the symbols of the Egyptain Underworld
Charon.'
Short, simple. It was troubling to say the least. But Hades decided to wait and see what these strangers were. The mention of the Egyptians was troubling. Those gods had disappeared long ago. Hades could only assume that they'd faded away when they'd stopped mingling and meddling in the affairs of mortals. A cautionary tale of what could happen to them all.
And now a girl with Egyptian symbols?
And so he waited- and he waited. And when the girls did not come he rose from his throne.
He did not like his time being wasted.
If they would not come to him he would go to them.