Fully Baked

Notes: English is my second language, and I don't have a beta reader. Text was checked by Word and Grammarly.

All my information about DoD, DoJ, police, fire departments and charities, and any other details came from the googling it. Yes, I used the basic idea of the baking show from one available in a streaming platform.

I haven't seen a lot of new NCIS fanfics out there lately, so I decided to write something that I would like to read. I hope my ideas translate well to the written word. Thank you for giving this a chance.

This is fanfiction and requires detachment of reality to read and understanding that no copyright infringement was intended.

Spoiled McGee ; Clueless Vance

Chapter 1 – Ingredients

Tony crossed Gibb's living room in a clipped pace, showing a bit of a temper. Barely 48 hours after the disaster that was the Domino ops, with his cheek still colourful and swollen, thanks to the rifle butt he got in the face because Ziva couldn't understand the meaning of "do not engage!", here he was, visiting the basement to rash it out with Gibbs. While being checked for concussion, at the hospital, after the whole brouhaha, Tony planned this conversation and expect it to be end of these last two years of misunderstandings and bad blood between Gibbs and himself. But today at the office, McNotSoFunny and Vance put a kibosh on those plans and might have actually opened up a whole new path for Tony.

DiNozzo was trying to bake his anger and finished all the necessary reports from the damn Domino operation when an official email from the DoD and the scuttlebutt start to filter through the bullpen. Tony checked the message because it is important to keep up to date on what the higher-ups are cooking up, but dismissed the issue quickly enough, not seeing himself, or anyone on the MCRT, being part of this new marketing/PR campaign. Until the Director himself sauntered down the stairs to stop in front of his desk.

'DiNozzo, after you finish the reports, go talk with Ms Bromstead so you two can arrange travel and how the event for the DoD/DoJ campaign will go with the Baking Battle show.'

Tony leaned back in his chair, again trying to hold in his anger. 'Sorry, Director, but I just saw the message. I didn't volunteer for anything related to his PR roadshow.'

'Well, you name was on the form for the Baking Battle one,' Vance answered with a smirk.

A loud snort from McGee's table and the way he was trying to hide behind his computer screen, even if he couldn't control his giggles, gave the game away.

'So, the "volunteer" part is related to who's quicker with the keyboard, then?' Tony asked without looking towards McGee.

'If you dish, you should know how to take,' Vance answered.

'A bit of glue on the keyboard at the office does not compare with your face on national television. My chances to go undercover will go up in smoke', Tony bite off.

'Not like you do a good job on that,' came the uninvited comment from Ziva. Vance's smile just got bigger.

'Good enough to foul everybody here, Zeevah, for at least a year,' Tony barked back, without taking his eyes from the Director.

'Suck it up, DiNozzo,' came Gibbs's comment while he went for complementary head slap.

Tony moved swiftly to the side to avoid the contact, never taking his eyes of the Director. He saw the surprise on his face, and he also heard McGee's breath intake. Gibbs stopped in from of Tony's desk, angry eyes, to shoot a biting remark.

'What's the problem, DiNozzo, not up to scratch with your batter?'

'I thought NCIS paid me to investigate crimes, not to bake cake.'

'You do what I tell you to do, Agent DiNozzo,' Vance stated. 'And the DoD and DoJ are really set on this PR campaign. Ms Bromstead volunteered but we need an agent there and seems you are it,' he finished with an evil smile.

Tony took a moment to check the feel of the room. Gibbs was angrily focused on him, more because he escaped the head slap than anything Vance wanted.

McGee was openly smiling, very sure of himself and that he wouldn't face any repercussions for what he did, like always.

Ziva was standing behind her desk, hands on top of the table, trying to affect an intimating glare towards Tony, like she could, singlehandedly, force him to do something.

The rest of the bullpen was quietly unconformable, showing that half of the agents present understood what was going on, as in one of them is being gag-pressed into something, again; and the other half was trying to believe this was all a joke. All of them were tired of the pollical manoeuvrings that was Director Shepard tenure and Vance was not starting his directorship in a good way by anybody perspective.

DiNozzo raised slowly from his chair, stretching to his full height and Balboa moved forward, as if to intervene, but a discreet hand movement from Tony stopped him.

'Well, Director,' DiNozzo started with the right amount of lack of respect on his tone that he couldn't be call out on it. 'I am all for follow the chain-of-command and my superiors' orders, as you well know and commented on before sending me afloat.' Tony relinquished on the spark of annoyance on Vance and Gibbs' eyes.

'I almost done with the reports, so after lunch time I will go down to HR and talk with Ms Bromstead.' He then turned to McGee with a smirk. 'I will let you sort out the work and reports with Gibbs, McGee. Since you all worked out as 3-person team for almost 3 months, that should not be a problem, right?' The sarcastic smile only grew with the gulping from McGee. Tony was fully aware of the mess on the reports for the time he was afloat, and Gibbs, McGee and Ziva thought the administrative work was done by invisible house-elves.

Gibbs seemed ready to advance but Balboa decided that, even if Tony hadn't sent anyone to hell, as he expected, better not given anyone else the chance for a brawl.

'Director,' he started but didn't wait for the man to turn to him before continuing. 'Since Tony was "volunteered", should we all expect to do be shanghaied on this DoD/DoJ PR thing?'

Vance gave Tony one last angry look and turned to Balboa to answered. 'I believe Agent DiNozzo is just paying for his own shenanigans, Martin. Every professional agent here can decide by themselves if they want be part of this campaign and what they might do.'

A collective snort could be heard around the bullpen, dismissing the comment. Tony felt a little better to know that not everybody believed him to be a useless clown. He did pick up the evil eye from Balboa's SFA all focused on McGee. Maybe Taylor would show the MIT self-aggrandising graduate what more discreet computer experts were capable of.

Vance turned and climbed the stairs back to his office. Gibbs gave Tony one last heated glare and left with a barely audible 'Going for coffee.' Ziva seated back at her desk slowly, still trying an intimating stare towards Tony. McGee, trying to go back to his smirk, went for a final dig.

'You like your pranks, Tony. Like the Director said, you should learn to take it too.'

'My pranks, McToady, don't make impossible for you to do your job. But no matter, I certainly can take it as much as I can dish it. Let's see if everybody else can do it.'

'If you do any of your pranks on this campaign, I will tell Vance!'

'McTattletale, I don't need to do anything. You are doing all by yourselves,' Tony smirked and went back to his work, ignoring the upset squeal from McGee, mixing with the barely there question of 'What you mean?!'

'He is trying to upset you, McGee. Do not pay attention. He cannot do anything,' Ziva tried to calm the other agent.

Tony let his smile wide up, letting both Ziva and McGee pretend they weren't worried.

Going down the stairs to confront Gibbs, Tony let go of the hard feelings from that morning at the bullpen and focused on the conversation with HR Manager, Dolores Bromstead, his "partner" in the Baking Battle event for the DoD and DoJ PR campaign. Not that DiNozzo would ever think he would be in good terms with Dolores Bromstead. She always seemed pissed off at him, the MCRT overall, half the agents, and Gibbs in particular. Tony tried hard to present the most perfect reports to HR because he didn't want to be chewed out by Dolores. But their conversation this afternoon was a surprise, something that usually didn't happen to him, no matter what his team thought of his intellect.

'Agent DiNozzo, please sit down so we can go through the contract we need to sign to be part of the Baking Battle programme and as part of the Department of Defence and Department of Justice Public Relations plan,' Dolores Bromstead said as soon as Tony entered her office.

'Ms Bromstead, let me start saying that I didn't volunteer; Agent McGee threw my name into this, probably to try to embarrass me. I am sorry you got involved in this situation.' Tony wanted to be up front and clear on the situation. McSmartPants would not create a worse situation for him with HR, he would make sure of it.

Dolores looked him straight on, capturing his eyes, not letting him look away. 'I am quite aware of the… method you were made part of this event, Agent DiNozzo.' She sighed. 'Maybe it would be better if we clear the air first,' she continued, putting the paperwork in front of her to the side.

'The HR department is bound by rules and policies and it's behold to the company it's attached to,' Dolores started, 'but that doesn't mean we, those that work in the HR department, don't see what transitional management does to the human resources of the agency, especially when it skates so perilous close to the line.'

Tony tilted his head to the side, listening and decoding the over officious comment. 'Morrow was the last good director, huh?' Tony said with faint sarcasm.

Dolores dipped her head in silent agreement. 'I don't think Director Shepard ever open up a policy book and Director Vance likes to interpret policies as they fit his aims.' She raised a hand to stop Tony comment. 'But be assure that others are not so lax, in my department and other areas of NCIS, even if the directors didn't sign off on them, complains and comments are registered.'

DiNozzo took a deep breath. What a surprise! There were others, people that he didn't took in consideration, actually watching his six!Tony tried to make friends with all and any employees, talk shop, hear gossip, exchange favours; but he never thought they would help him out for no reason.

'You are not the most… typical agent, but you are an effective agent, DiNozzo,' Dolores said.

'I thought you really didn't like me,' Tony retorted.

'I don't like Agent Gibbs,' Dolores answered in a clipped tone. 'Him and his personal rules, like they should be above the agency's policies and even the law!' She completed with a huff. 'A lot of the older agents have this… cowboy attitude. Unfortunately, you got painted with the same brush,' she conceded. 'When you started doing the reports, I noticed that you were more of a… negotiator, someone trying to manage the situation and the people as needed.'

Tony bowed his head, accepting the implied apology and the recognition, again surprised that she had noticed. It was disconcerting how someone far from his daily life understood him much better than his teammates. Tony knew neither the previous director nor the current one made any effort to see behind his masks.

'That doesn't mean I condone your pranks, but I understand the need to… "blow some steam", considering the stressful work agents are involved in.'

Tony nodded in acceptance.

'Let's deal with the current situation', Dolores continued, bringing back the paper pile. 'You know anything about baking? Let me say that this is an important opportunity. I work with underprivileged youth, and we are trying to attract support for a trades school'.

'Well, Nona wouldn't let me stay in the kitchen if I wasn't helping,' Tony said, letting the woman make assumptions in relation to the name. Far from him to explain that Nona was actually Donatella Fornasari, the cook at the DiNozzo house until he was sent to military school. One of the few people to pay attention to the lonely boy he was. No need to tell how he didn't have any friends, or how his father didn't want to spend time with him, or how his mother would, sometimes, lose herself in booze and prescription drugs.

'And the lessons stuck?' Dolores insisted.

'If we had the time, or the place, I could show you, but I promise I won't be a hindrance.'

'We will have to fly to San Francisco tonight, where the programme is filmed. The agreement is for us to stay there for 2 weeks, available for the production. I believe they plan for a series of appearances from the teams from different federal agencies, police, firefighters, and paramedics departments around the country. You know the structure of the show?'

'Four pairs battle out baking what the judges request of them in 3 rounds, with one pair being eliminated on each round,' Tony recited. He did watch the show a few times, while he was cooking.

Dolores nodded in approval. 'We will have some interviews, but there will be a representative of DoD or the DoJ there to approve them before they air. They will have information for donations during the episodes, but it should be possible to do it during the whole 2 weeks, from the first episode of this promotion to the last one. The exposure is what I'm counting on.'

Tony accepted the explanation. Dolores shuffles the papers in front of her in a rare show of discomfort.

'I'm sorry how you end up in this situation, Agent DiNozzo, but I'm also glad because there weren't any other volunteers, and I really wanted this opportunity.'

'Well, if we are going into baking war together, please call me Tony,' he gave a rare true smile that showed some dimples. 'I would have offered help in some way if I had the chance. My biggest regret is the end of my undercover career with this exposure. But that's done and now I will look ahead for other opportunities.

'Dolores, then,' she answered with a smile of her own. 'Let's use the time there to discuss those opportunities and I might be able to help you back.' Dolores said while bringing forward the paperwork for signature and passing on the printed information of the travel plans.

Tony started talking while descending the basement stairs. 'I had a full speech rehearsed during my time in the hospital, waiting for that concussion test. I was filled with righteous anger. With all the grieve you gave me about following orders and not ready you in…'

'It was need to know and you didn't, DiNozzo.' Gibbs interrupted, while the younger man came down the stairs.

'Ha!' Tony raised a finger to silence the other man. 'But I was the one going in blind, against live ammo, with a Mossad spy that can't follow orders, wasn't I? How come I didn't need to know?! Abby "I can't keep a secret to save my live" Sciutto was read in!'

'I did what I thought best for the op. Rule #4,' Gibbs went back to sanding, angry faced.

'But then McGee was also read in, right? So that's 3 people there, Gibbs. Throwing Rule #4 out of the window here. Nope, you did it to punish me again for not telling you about the stupid Frog op that I got hoodwinked into, and another way to get one over Vance.'

Tony continued without giving Gibbs a chance to interrupt. 'But that doesn't matter now. I barely escape another concussion, the swollen will fade in a few days, the colours will disappear, right? You got to kill the mole, even if it was poor Michelle being blackmailed.'

'DiNozzo…' Gibbs started with steel in his tone.

'Nah, doesn't matter because I'm not feeling righteous angry anymore.' Tony turned to face Gibbs directly and saw the flick of surprise in the other man's eyes. 'McGee and Vance's attitude this morning really cleared things up, but what really click it for me was my conversation with Dolores Bromstead this afternoon.'

'What the bitch did this time?'

'Just because she doesn't double down to your bullying, there is no need to insult her.'

'Not a bully! She's one of those stick in the ass bureaucrats!'

'Keep telling yourself that, Gibbs, but we are getting off the track here.'

'What you came to say, DiNozzo? Stop this yabba-yabba and get to the point then!' Gibbs was getting really piss off and out of his game, even if he would never admit it out loud or even to himself.

'The point? The point is that the sea air helped clear my mind. You were pissed with me because of the Frog op; because you thought I shouldn't have obeyed Jenny's orders and walked away when she planned her suicide by bad guy exit,' Tony raised his hand again to forestall Gibbs's interruption. 'So, you suggested the Agent Afloat position to Vance, who was all posed to put his mark on the agency, starting with the MCRT.'

A surprise looked flicked again on Gibbs's eyes. He hadn't thought DiNozzo would know the suggestion for the position came from him. Vance just wanted to break the team for the mole hunt and, at first, was ready to send DiNozzo to a RU or another office.

'Vance didn't read my real jacket, Gibbs, he didn't had time to get to know me. Agent Afloat position is expected to be a volunteer move. He wouldn't start his directorship going against policy if someone hadn't whispered in his ear. You, on the other hand, used to know me really well to understand how upset I would be to be throw in the middle of the ocean with 5 thousand people who would see me as the enemy,'

'DiNozzo, that was not...'

Again, Tony raised his hand. 'Don't matter anymore, Gibbs. Like I said, I'm out of righteous anger. But after you did your one-over the director, I think he returned in kind. Because that little chat we had, when you told me to do whatever McGee was asking to use the link from the Ronald Reagan to hack into the Pentagon? Yeah, that little discourse "if I wanted to be back on solid ground in my lifetime, I better do as I was told?" I know McGee consider hacking as the easiest and quickest venue of investigation, but he never thinks about consequences. You don't too. You never think there will be a bill to pay with this shit. But the good Director,' Tony shook his head and finger, with a smirk. 'That one knows how to cover his tracks and funk someone else while doing it. Vance was counting with the captain finding out and complaining to him or the Pentagon. Then Vance would sooth all feathers offering me as sacrifice. BOOM! Case solved, McGee protected, DiNozzo gone, and Gibbs put in his place. Wow, 4 targets, one bullet.'

Gibbs's head bounced discreetly side to side, like he was weighting the comments and deciding their value.

'You think Vance approved the whole thing because he could get rid of you?' He asked, doubt in his tone. 'Narcist much, DiNozzo?'

'It's not all about me, Gibbs, I'm just the pawn he would be using to move the game forward. You don't have to believe me. You don't much anymore. Again, not the point. The point actually is that I was able to clear my mind, open my eyes and understand things. I think my brain has been muddled for the last 3 years or so, maybe more, probably since Kate came into the team."

Tony finally sat on the third step of the stairs, looking a bit tired, a bit despondent. 'I miss our time as partners.' He raised his head, and his eyes were hard. 'But time passed, and things changed. I learned a lot with you, Gibbs, and I thank you for all the lessons. Good and bad.' Tony stood up to continue. 'Now is time for me to follow a new path.'

'Ya gonna run because McGee played a prank?' Gibbs also stood, approaching Tony, trying to intimate him.

'It wasn't a "prank", Gibbs, it is something that will destroy my chances to go undercover. A part of my career that I really valued. But again, it means that wouldn't be able to do any ops behind your back, right?'

'Stop harpy about this! It's done and dusted. Rule #11.'

'Funny, Gibbs, you are a pro on holding grudges. Your rules are only valid for others. You follow them when interests you. Your team, your rules. And you also said if I don't like it, I knew where the door is. So, I'm walking through that door now. '

'You leave when I say, DiNozzo!'

'You aren't the king of the world, Gibbs,' Tony responded in calm tone. 'This,' he waved his hand around, meaning the situation. 'Have been brewing for a while. A million small things adding up. The lack of respect for my experience, the broken chain-of-command, ignoring my position as SFA, since Kate started. Ziva trying to isolate me from the team with that dinner that you all were happy to throw at my face while I just had 12 stiches from a "scratch" that Ziva herself caused. The small mean comments and bad attitudes because you all were pissed that I was able to go a whole year living a double life and nobody even suspect it. You throwing my stuff out of the desk when you came back from your Mexican siesta without a word. The way McGee acts like his computer is smarter than me because I'm "just a cop". How Vance said I'm expendable and a relic that he doesn't see as part of a federal agency just before sending me afloat. The little things add up, Gibbs. It's me risking my health, heck, my life, to jump into the Anacostia after your last lone wolf impersonation and having to hear that I was lazy for not visiting you afterwards. Nobody asked where I was, nobody cared besides that I was not there for you. Just to be clear, I was in the hospital, being pumped up to the gills with antibiotics to try to fend off pneumonia.'

Tony moved closer to the stairs. 'So, I'm leaving before something really big and bad happens.'

'DiNozzo!' Gibbs made a motion to grab the younger man, but Tony moved quickly and was at the landing, over the three last steps of the stairs before Gibbs finished.

'I will do the PR thing because it's important to Ms Bromstead and it won't let Vance try to fuck with me more. I know Vance is expecting me to come down in flames and make a fool of myself on it, and he would use it to fire me, or transfer me to a ship in Alaska or something, but I'm not giving him the satisfaction. I'll surprise him, and all of you, just to fuck up all this plotting.'

Tony finished climbing the stairs and turned to Gibbs before leaving the basement: 'So long, farewell, goodbye. See you around, Gibbs. Good luck…'

Gibbs could swear he heard "…you gonna need it" comment while the younger man walk away.