Chapter 4

The endless lines of traffic on Coruscant were almost hypnotic at times. Or so they'd become since I'd taken to overthinking everything. It was a decidedly Jedi trait if you asked me. Sure, they'd claim it was all about clearing your mind, but I knew better. The force made me think. All the sensations and traces of life that wove together into patterns and meanings. To suddenly be aware of everything around me gave me a lot to think about…

My eyes trailed from the window of the Solo's apartment to the living area. There Luke sat, eyes closed and focus attuned to the small object he was levitating. To Luke, I knew it must have been as easy as breathing, but his niece and nephews were always impressed no matter what he did. Jacen was the first to hastily grab an object of his own. It rose through the air quickly, with plenty of power, but not much control. It wobbled almost impatiently in the air. Lifting small objects like these was hardly a challenge for descendants of any Skywalker, but ability wasn't the point of the lesson. Luke had mentioned something about teaching patience with mundane tasks.

I watched almost sleepily as I overheard Leia whisper a few words of guidance to her children. I was sleepy, a little more each day, it felt like. But then, sleepless nights had a way of doing that to you. Too much time spent laying awake, overthinking.

My fears and doubts were gradually shifting into anticipation. It was an improvement, I'd decided, but it still made me restless. Maybe Luke was right, I wasn't going to be a complete failure as a mother, but that didn't mean I couldn't feel a little nervous about it.

Watching Luke now, made me think about when he'd be teaching our son the same way. I pictured myself in Leia's place, trying to fill that teacher role again. He'd need to know more than just the force, it was the whole course of morality that really made you a Jedi, wasn't it? Sure, Luke made being a goody-goody look easy, but it wasn't exactly that. At least it wasn't for me…

It had to do with valuing life, others, and…sometimes especially your own.

Sometimes your own was the hardest one to value.

All that talk of Jedi needing to be selfless, it had seemed so hard to master at the time. Which made it all the more ironic that Luke's lessons to me now had to do with self-love.

"Luke better have enough patience of his own, if he's gonna teach that kid," Solo mumbled playfully, referring to his oldest son.

I'd almost forgotten he was there, but now the room came back into focus. I leaned back on the couch next to him; half snorting. "Trust me, he's had worse students."

Han shot me a lop-sided grin. "Got anybody particular in mind?"

I folded my arms. "Yeah, maybe…"

He chuckled next to me.

This many years in, I should have been used to the extended family thing, but it was still pretty new to me. That being accepted out of love and not just politeness or selfish gain kinda thing. If I couldn't feel their emotions directly, I might not have believed it. It was easy to be indifferent when someone hated me but realizing someone cared? That always spun me around...

I'd learned to accept the openness that came with being around fellow Jedi, but there was also something nice about someone who didn't know exactly what I was feeling. Or at least, sometimes it was. Feelings, both open and closed, were like two opposite sides of a lightsaber. Good and Bad, and everything in between.

When I put myself in Han's place, I imagined I'd be pretty defensive being the only person around who lacked the advantage of the force. But he was as relaxed and in his element as possible. It was a little enviable, honestly.

"Congrats again, by the way…" he muttered, meaning the news we'd shared this morning. News that wasn't really news to Leia, but Solo had seemed surprised enough.

"Yeah," he went on, a thoughtfully pleasant look on his face. "Kids are great…" He cut me a sideways look. "Little terrors sometimes, but great all the same."

I raised my eyebrows at him playfully. "Thanks for the encouragement."

He shrugged. "Don't mention it, Mara. But I'll warn you…" An amusing dark look crossed his face, and I assumed he was trying to mess with me on purpose. "The more Jedi the kid is, the weirder it can get."

Now that I could believe.

"And," he went on, almost smiling. "With the force on both ends, it's gonna be something else."

Leia broke her concentration to shoot him a glare. Then walking over, she narrowed her eyes in a playful annoyance I could relate to.

"Han, are you seriously implying that all of our children's disagreeableness only has the force-sensitive side of things to blame?"

"Of course not, sweetheart." Han nudged my shoulder. "Come on, Mara, back me up here. Did I say that? I'm pretty sure I didn't."

I smirked at him, as one former smuggler to another. "You're on your own, Solo."

Leia smiled at me, her annoyance shifting into playful vindication.

"Hey, Kid," Han directed toward Luke. "Help me out, I'm outnumbered."

The small object he was levitating slowly dropped as Luke's focus shifted back to us. "Outnumbered by Jedi?" he asked teasingly.

"No," Han replied dryly. "Women."

Luke looked at me, that corny charm of his in full swing. "Well, I can think of worse problems to have, Han."

I stood up, briefly rolling my eyes at him. "Smooth, Skywalker, but you're setting a bad example for your students," I teased him. "Don't be so easily distracted."

Walking over to the three little Padawans, I knelt down beside where they were sitting. "Look, what your uncle is trying to say is that sometimes boring basics are important."

Anakin looked up at me with a childish frown. "But it's still boring…"

"Yeah, granted," I agreed as I levitated the object Luke had been. "But the secret is, why you're doing it."

"To motivate you?" Jaina asked, seeming like the wisest one in the bunch.

"Yeah, that's it, you got it. The motivation is what keeps you going, even when the going gets tough sometimes, kids."

"You're really wise, Aunt Mara," Anakin said in some small awe.

I shrugged. "I wouldn't go that far, but I've been around the galaxy a few times."

Jacen smiled at me, his face almost wistful. I could see the restless smuggler blood he'd inherited from his father. I knew he'd want to go see the universe at the first chance he got.

"But even as boring as lessons can be," I went on. "This is the most important time of your lives. Because what you learn now, is what you'll use for the rest of your life. So," I said, reading Jacen's emotions. "It's not a waste, it's absolutely not."

He nodded, a little apologetic for his thoughts. "Sorry, Aunt Mara…" he mumbled.

I playfully slapped his shoulder. "Don't worry about it, I wasn't really the best student either. But uh…" I glanced back at Luke. "Listen to your uncle, he knows a thing or two."

After a while, we said our goodbyes and headed out. I didn't think it was a big deal, but we weren't two steps down the corridor before Luke had brought it up. And by bringing it up, I meant he gave that corny look.

"What?" I asked a little awkwardly. "Why is your face doing that?"

He reached for my hand, squeezing it tightly. "Because I'm so proud of you. You're already a wonderful teacher…" Then he almost turned smug; an I told you so, plastered across his face.

I shrugged. "I was just doing what I could… I mean, that Jacen kid has got way too much smuggler in him for his own good."

"I don't know," Luke countered sweetly. "I've known smugglers to make wonderful Jedi in time."

"You would say that, wouldn't you?"

"Yes, I absolutely would."

There was no getting around it, Luke could be pleasantly annoying in his own way.

"Anyway," I mumbled, changing the subject, before I disintegrated under all the praise. "I'm starving. Or, we're both starving, whatever."

I was going to recommend some cheap take-out like always, but he had a better idea.

"Speaking of that, I wanted you to try a recipe I've been tinkering with." He said it the way you'd run maintenance on a ship.

"You cook?" I raised both eyebrows. "Luke, since when?"

"It's something I've enjoyed experimenting with for a while now."

I looked at him in disbelief for a few long beats. All the times I'd been gone for long spans, clearing up the last of my obligations to Karrde, I'd always assumed he just ate out. I mean, that's what we did when we were both together so…

"You're serious? Jedi Master and chef?"

He turned meek. "I don't know if I'd say chef, but I like it alright. I hope you will too…"

I smirked at him, pretending to be heartless. "I don't know, you do realize what a critic I can be, right?"

Of course, he didn't believe it for a second. "Honest but fair, I prefer to say."

"Brutally honest," I added, before nudging him in the ribs. "You are turning out to be pretty useful to have around though, Luke. So many skills and a mostly okay personality to go with it. You'd make a nice droid, actually."

He sighed, pretending to be less than enthusiastic about my assessment. "Thank you, Mara, I'm truly flattered…"

I pushed the empty dish away, feigning the most disgusted look I could manage. "Well, that was horrible."

Luke smirked at me softly. "Is that so?"

I nodded, but the grin couldn't help but escape now. "Worst thing I've eaten in my life."

Empathic connection aside, the look on my face alone would have given away that I was pulling his leg. But I'd come to enjoy our banter almost as much as our sincerity.

He gathered up the dishes, a self-satisfied look on his face. Luke Skywalker was not easily smug, but he had his small moments.

I rolled my eyes, not taking the grin off my lips.

Slowly, my attention was drawn to the front door of our apartment. A familiar presence becoming clearer with each step.

"Karrde?" I mumbled, not expecting him to even still be on Coruscant. He'd taken Luke and I's failure to get his rock in stride, as expected. But seeing him so soon afterward, it still made me feel a little bad about it. I didn't really like unfinished business, it had a way of coming back to bite you. But I shrugged the feeling away, leaving Jedi rocks and the dust of Tatooine behind.

Luke ducked his head around the doorway leading to the kitchen, of course he could sense him too.

"Hmm," he whispered to himself. "I wonder what he wants…?"

Then a stray thought crossed his emotions, a missed opportunity that bothered Luke Skywalker, the galaxy's greatest host. "We could have asked him to stay for dinner if we'd known he was coming," he added, bringing the stray thoughts to life.

I grinned as I walked toward the door. "I swear Luke, you could do this wife thing better than I do."

He frowned in playful annoyance. "Husbands can be homey too, Mara. I like homey things in fact…"

Homey, is that what he called it?

Tapping open the door, I caught Karrde a few steps away from actually activating the door chime. He looked up, mild surprise on his face. "I'm still not used to that," he said with a grin.

"Honestly, neither am I, but it comes in handy when avoiding debt collectors."

"If we had any debit, which we don't," Luke added in mock-responsibility.

Karrde laughed before getting to the reason why he was here. "Sorry for the sudden intrusion. But I was finishing up some business on Coruscant when I caught wind of the news."

"What news?" I asked, playing dumb, surely he didn't know already...

He grinned a little sheepishly as he revealed the bottle of wine he'd been hiding behind his back. "I wasn't sure if it was meant to be a secret, but…information has a way with me."

"Imagine that," I whispered with a little smirk.

"Anyway, I thought I should congratulate you both in person," he offered Luke the bottle, which he took kindly.

"Wow, this is so vintage, Talon," he gasped. "It must have cost you a fortune! Thank you so much!"

Karrde shrugged meekly. "Only a small fortune. But I thought the occasion deemed it."

Luke looked truly touched by the 500 year old wine, but I wasn't quite so moved. "And what good is this going to do me?" I teased. "I'm the mother, what do I get?"

Talon smiled at me with a rare sort of understanding, one that only old friends could have known.

"I'm afraid my great affection will have to do," he said as he gallantly left a kiss on the back of my hand.

Karrde wasn't one for big emotional shows, but I could feel that affection he'd spoken about. I imagined he was remembering the mostly bitter handful I'd been when we'd first met. To see me now…with a family and a purpose…

I bit back the emotion, not letting any of it show on my face. "Fine, thanks, but I've got news for you, I'm making Luke save some of that ancient liquor for me. After 500 years what's another?"

Luke glanced at me, my true emotions as evident as if I'd written them out. "We'll save it," Luke agreed. "For after the baby is born, after all, that will be an even greater occasion."

"Good," I mumbled to Karrde. "If I let him drink all of that by himself he'd be staggering into the walls."

Talon sent Luke a playfully sympathetic look. "I can't say I've had any personal experience, but I've heard that pregnancy can tend to make women more temperamental…"

Luke nodded, a weary look on his face. "Yes…I've heard that too."

"And I've heard," I quipped. "That being locked outside gets pretty cold at night."

Luke winced. "Anyway…thank you very much, Talon, this was a lovely gift."

Karrde smiled at us both, his sense of humor seeming a little more carefree than the man I'd known years ago. It made me wonder if I wasn't the only person slowly finding purpose…?

Even with force abilities, there was still something mysterious about Karrde. Like he had walls all his own. But I thought we understood each other in ways that no Jedi could. Because we'd been smugglers, we'd been through it all. Together. And somehow, we'd made it out the other side.

"How's Shada?" I asked coolly.

His eyebrows raised for only a split-second, the swirl of his emotions changing shape and hue. It was a split second he masterfully hid behind a causal grin.

"She's fine."

But it was long enough. For me anyway.

I smiled back, a little knowingly. "Great, well tell her and the rest of your gang of misfits that Mara says hello."

"I'll surely do that," he closed with a slight bow. "Have a lovely evening."

"Goodbye Talon," Luke waved before closing the door behind him.

A few long moments went by in silence. He was still studying the inscription on the wine bottle and I was waiting for him to say the obvious. But he didn't, so I did.

"You picked up on that, huh?"

He glanced up a puzzle on his naively handsome face. "Pick up on what?"

I scoffed. "Karrde and Shada, of course! I thought you were a Jedi?"

He paused to think back. "I suppose it is a bit of an odd emotional blip when you mentioned her, but I wasn't really paying attention."

I frowned in disappointment. "What good are all these Jedi powers if you don't pay attention to the juicy stuff, Luke?"

He smiled a little. "Sorry, but I try not to probe too deeply into our friends' minds. It's not polite."

"Polite? Who gives two blasters about politeness?!" I shot back, mildly exasperated. "If you'd probed more into my mind we could have saved ten long years."

His eyes took on a slightly wistful look, one that said he wouldn't have minded that prospect. But the purely happy aura of joy returned soon enough.

"I don't think you would have let me do that and live to tell about it."

I thought for a second before shrugging. "Well, okay you're probably right about that. But," I added quickly. "Karrde isn't likely to kill you. I'm just saying…if we're aware we might be able to help them."

Luke gave me a playfully scolding look. "It's most definitely not polite to play matchmaker uninvited."

"Who in the heck ever invites someone to do that. Sometimes you just have to shove something down their throat until they realize it's good for them. Trust me, I'd know!"

He just looked at me silently, an amused grin widening by the second.

"What?"

He chuckled. "Nothing, I just… You were the last person to ever be interested in people's relationships. But honestly, the change is kind of nice to see."

I blushed, feeling suddenly stupid. "I just care about my friends, alright? We're Jedi, aren't we supposed to?"

"Of course," he whispered, seeing right through me. "Now, let's sit this here until later." He sat the wine bottle on an upper shelf in our dining room. Then stepping back he just gazed up at it. It was an overly mushy look to give a bottle of liquor, but something told me he was seeing past it.

Past to the meaning it now carried. To the future day when it's opening would mean our son had long been born.

Our son…

The phrase never seemed to fade into the normal, no matter how many times I said it… Silently, I joined him in a sort of awe. The both of us felt the ripples and ebbs of our emotions colliding against the others. Wonder, love, and joy mixed into a subtle tempest.

Little by little, maybe I was learning to leave my doubts behind…?

"Yes…" Luke whispered as he turned to face me. "I can feel that you are."

"What happened to not probing too deeply?" I mumbled to hide the emotion I felt.

He didn't say anything, just walked over to pull me into his arms. The silence of our voices did little to quell the sounds of our inner thoughts. The loud, vibrant emotions poured from our hearts in waves.

For the moment, those hidden voices only the two of us could hear…well they were more than enough…

More soon.