A/N: this is a one shot I wrote a while ago. There no specific to the medical terms I used. I just tried to come up with something to go along with the story line. Anyways enjoy.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. All characters, storyline, dialogues belong to their rightful owner. Shonda Rhimes and maybe a few other shows. Also spelling mistakes, and punctuations marks are mine.
Standing in that elevator with my back against the wall listening to Arizona share how much she wanted me and how much she was willing to fight for me was all I ever wanted, but with what I found out today, I knew I had to tell her.
"You want another chance?"
"Yes more than anything." Arizona pleaded.
Taking a deep breath I let out the words that I knew that would shatter us beyond repair. "Today I found out I'm pregnant, with Mark's baby. How about now?"
Arizona stood there not sure what to say or what to do. The elevator door opened, and after a few moments of her not saying anything to me. I stepped off and walked home.
7 years later...
"Dr. Altman, and Dr. Hunt, I'm sorry but he's sick. His cancer is back and this time there is nothing I can do." Stark says standing across of them in their son's hospital room.
"Are you kidding me that's all you have to say!" Teddy snapped.
Owen sat there with his head spinning. We are the best doctors out there and nobody knows how to help our son. But right now his wife needed him.
"I'll give you a two some privacy." Stark says as he stands up and walks out.
"Owen he's never road a bike before. He's never gonna have a sleepover. My baby will never graduate. He's only 4 Owen."
"Teddy, you can't think like this. We will figure something out."
"Call her."
"Who?" Owen asked confused.
"Arizona, she's at Hopkins. Fly her in. We need the best."
"How do you even know where she's at?"
"I'm not sure if she's there but the last time we talked she said she's at Hopkins. Call her Owen. We need her. If anyone can save our son it's her." Teddy cried into Owens arms.
"Okay. I'll call her." He said consoling her.
"Go, I'll be fine."
Owen steps outside and takes his cellphone out and searches up Hopkins phone number. Entering an empty room he presses call.
"Hello this is Hopkins Medical Center how can I help you?"
"Pediatric Wing Please."
"Sure one moment."
He's put on hold for a few minutes. Finally someone answers.
"Hello this Nurse Betty from the Pediatric Unit. How can I assist you today?"
"May I please speak to Dr. Arizona Robbins please?"
"Umm she just got out of surgery a few moments ago can I take a message?"
"No, please tell her that this is Owen Hunt calling and it's an emergency. Please. My wife is her best friend."
"Im sorry sir, we can't just-"
"Please, I promise you that I mean well and it truly is an emergency."
"Okay, one moment. You said your name is Owen Hunt?"
"Yes. Thank you."
After about two minutes Betty comes back on the phone.
"Dr. Hunt, I will be connecting you will Dr. Robbins. Sorry about earlier."
"No problem. Thank you."
"Hello?"
"Arizona, it's Owen."
Arizona could tell from the sound of his voice that something was up.
"Hey Owen, what's going on?"
"I need you to fly out here. Our son is sick and Dr. stark said there's nothing he can do. If anyone can help our son. It's you."
"Okay, Owen. Let me find someone to fill in for me and I'll be there as soon as possible. In the meantime please email me his case."
"Arizona, I'm sorry I know you never wanted to come back here, but Teddy and I, well we owe you everything."
"Owen, don't even apologize. Ill be there."
"Thank you."
After hanging up, Arizona sat there, knowing what she agreed to do. I'm heading back to Seattle, the place, I told myself I would never return to. All it took was an hour for me to find a replacement. Dr. Polly Preston will be here first thing tomorrow.
As I sat on the plane going, over Leo's case, I'm not sure what I could do to help him. Seems like they did everything they could. I could feel my heart rate picking up as I watched on the screen how close we were to Seattle. It was 7 years ago, I made the decision to let her go. Let her have her dreams. I knew I could never be apart of, but I'm not going there for her, I'm going for Teddy and Owen. Because a child needs me.
Texting Teddy that I have arrived and I will be at the hospital in half an hour. She said she'll meet me in the front lobby.
Right when I entered, it felt surreal, as if I never left.
I spot Teddy sitting off to the side. She looks like she hardly had any sleep for the past few days. I couldn't blame her. Walking up to her, she spots me and runs to me.
"Arizona, thank you so much for coming. How have you been?" Teddy asked trying to be polite.
"Of course. I've been good, but we can save this conversation for another time. Right now, lets go see Leo."
I'm not sure if she could tell I was anxious or what.
"She knows your here." Teddy says.
"Does she?"
"Yeah, well we told everyone the news about Leo, and that we were flying in the best, and well of course everyone knows you're the best."
"Thanks Teds. But I can't think about her, yes it makes me nervous and anxious, but I'm here for Leo. So I'm gonna just focus on that."
Walking into Leo's room, he's hooked up to every machine possible.
"Mommy." He says as excited as possible.
"Hey, sweetie. This is mommy's friend. Aunty Zona."
"Aunty Zona, are you gonna make me feel all better."
"Yes, buddy. I am."
Sitting inside the X-ray room, going over all Leo's scans, I hear my name being called. "Robbins!" Alex yelled my former protégé.
"Karev, it's nice to see you."I say giving him a hug.
"Dude, are you gonna take your position back."
"Haha, no I'm not. I'm just here for Leo."
"Come on Robbins, we need you here."
"So do the kids at Hopkins." I winked.
"Anyways you just flew in today?"
"Yes, I did. A few hours ago."
"Well a few of us are gonna go to Joe's after work. I'll swing by and we can go together."
"Actually, I'm really busy. I'm just here for a case Alex. Not really to catch up with everyone."
"Don't be stupid. You can't be here and not catch up with us."
I know what he's saying is true. It would be impossible not too.
"I don't know. Maybe another time."
"Callie's gonna be there."
"Yeah, even more I don't wanna go." I laughed.
"You haven't seen her yet?"
"No, I'm too busy working."
"She's single you know?"
"No I don't know, and that isn't any of my concern because I need to focus."
"Okay, I understand. I'll leave you to it, but you're coming out tonight. I wanna hear all about Africa."
After a few hours, of reading a few cases and studying the scans, I page Owen and Teddy to the conference room.
"I want to put Leo on antibiotics and some steroids for about a week, to strengthen him for surgery. Then I wanna open him up, I'm confident I can remove his tumor. He's gonna have to go through a lot of chemotherapy after. Hopefully after three rounds on and off he may be on remission, but let's just focus on removing the tumor."
"Arizona thank you so much." Teddy cries hugging me.
"I know this is a long shot, but I believe this is his best shot."
"We will do whatever you recommend Dr. Robbins." Owen says stoically.
A surge of guilt hits me that I can't believe I haven't been here for years, and maybe I could have caught their sons cancer sooner.
Alex and I walked into the bar, and grabbed a table. Eventually the bar fills up and a few of our friends join us. "I'm gonna go outside real quick and smoke a cigarette."
I could feel it. I could feel her, even after all these years, I can still sense her. There she is a goddess. The goddess, I was so in love with. The goddess I left, and came back for. I can't look at her, and not stare. So I open my phone and go through some emails from work.
"Dr. Robbins." She grinned. "You know those aren't good for you."
Okay, she's being very formal, maybe I should do the same.
"Dr. Torres, yeah I know." I chuckled. "It's nice to see you."
"Is it?" She bites back.
There's the Callie, I know.
"Of course, how have you been?"
"Please don't act like you actually care how I've been."
"What's your problem? I'm just trying to be nice."
Callie doesn't answer me, she just rolls her eyes and walks inside of Joes. Why is she still so beautiful? Oh I know because I'm still in love with her.
Walking back into Joes, I stop at the bar and order me 2 shots to calm my nerves.
"Blondie."
Of course the person who I truly didn't want to see calls my name. Although I didn't care for him, I knew deep down he was a good guy. I can't blame him for what happened, but it does upset me that he took advantage of Callie when she was at her lowest and gave her everything I was supposed to give to her.
"Hey Mark. How you've been?"
"I've been good, everyone is happy you're back."
"It's nice to be back, considering the circumstances."
"Wow I'm surprised, you don't want to kill me."
"Well a few years ago, yeah I would've killed you on the spot, but it's been years, and that's in the past."
"You know Callie-"
"Mark, I'll be nice with you, but Ill never talk to you about Callie. I'm not here for her. I'm here for Leo." I say before heading back to our table, taking the seat next to Christina.
"So rollergirl tell us about Africa? Since we are in the presence of a Carter Maddison Grant Winner." She teased clearly drunk already.
"Yeah, tell us." April cheered.
"Well it was great. It really was a once in a lifetime opportunity. The kids there were awesome, they made being their worthwhile."
As I go on and on about being there, I take a side glance at Callie, and she's just looking at the ground.
"Are you serious, you have a pediatric African exchange program?"
"Mhmm." I replied taking a sip of my beer.
"And the surgeons at Hopkins get to help them?"
"Yes." I laughed.
"So if you came back here when you finished your grant, we would've had that program?" Alex asked.
"Umm I guess so yeah."
"Damnit rollergirl, those children have rare diseases. Some that we've never get to see and because you went to Hopkins now we'll never get to see them of or get to treat them."
"Cristina." Meredith scolds.
"I mean it's great that they're getting help." She corrects herself and everyone laughs.
"So was it everything you thought it would be?" Meredith asked.
"Yes, it was. I didn't think it would be so hard. Waiting for supplies. Watching kids get sick, but when they recovered it was all worth it. I know the team I had made a difference. I don't regret going at all."
All of a sudden, I see Callie stand up and walk away. She's heading towards the exit.
"Umm, I'll be right back."
She's walking to her car. "Callie wait, stop."
Nothing she keeps walking faster. Finally catching up to her, I grab her wrist. Instantly I feel the connection again and clearly she does too. "Callie stop." I panted
"What do you want Arizona?" She says as she wipes away her tears.
"Why are you being like this?"
"Like what?" She says folding her arms.
"So hostile towards me. I didn't do anything to you."
"Oh you didn't do anything to me? Good to know."
"Calliope.."
"No, don't you dare call me that."
"Sorry. I don't want to upset you."
"I don't want to talk to you."
"Are you kidding me? What are you four?" I said irritated.
"Are you not at all affected by seeing me?"
"Of course I am." I say honestly.
"Well you have an odd way of showing it."
"Callie, it's been seven years. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to act. Yes seeing you is hard, but it's not my place anymore to act on it."
"Listening to you talk about Africa is hard. How you don't regret it. How you don't regret leaving me. I guess you made the right choice." She spat back.
"Are you fucking kidding me? I came back for you! You didn't want me. You told me that every single time I tried talking to you. Then you.. you.. you.."
"I got pregnant, and that was it." She finished my sentence.
"Yeah."
"So you left. Like always, taking the easy way out."
"Easy way out? You lived with the guy who got you pregnant. You weren't just sleeping with Mark. You were living with him. You clearly chose him and you made it abundantly clear you didn't want me. What choice did you fucking give me!? Huh?!"
"You could've talked to me."
"And said what?"
"I don't know Arizona."
"Really Callie you wanna put it out there. Go ahead it's been seven years. Tell me how you feel. You stood up and walked away in front of our friends, made me chase you through the parking lot. I'm here. Here's your chance."
Callie looks at me and I see anger.
"You left me in an airport. I was sad and hurt. You left for Africa. I had to call Mark to come get me. I had nowhere to go. I had people living in our apartment Arizona. I had to beg Webber for my job back. He didn't make it easy for me. I had to walk into that hospital embarrassed once again. All the while you were in Africa. Living your dreams. When you had to crush mine."
"Callie."
"I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I was depressed. And for one moment I didn't want to feel a thing, so I did the only thing I could think of. I slept with Mark. Was it the best thing to do? No it wasn't. But at that time I was drowning."
"Well I'm glad to see you found a way not drown." I said sarcastically.
"Do I regret sleeping with Mark? No. If I didn't I wouldn't have Caleb."
"Caleb." I whispered. Finally putting a name to their child.
"Yeah, he's almost six." She grinned.
"Well I'm sorry, I hurt you. I didn't think of all those things. Clearly I'm selfish." I say honestly.
"I guess we both are."
"Im here for a few weeks, maybe even a month depending on how Leo does. I don't want to fight with you. Can we just be friends?"
"No. I don't want to be your friend." Callie says.
"Okay, I understand."
"I won't be your friend Arizona. But I will try my best to be cordial."
"Okay."
"I need to go. Caleb's at Meredith's with Derek. I need to pick him up."
"Okay."
Why do I feel like this won't be the last of it. I think to myself as I walked back to the bar.
Rolling around the Peds floor, I stop at Leo's room checking on his stats and everything seems to be going well.
"You wanna go meet Allison?" Teddy says waking up from her nap.
"No, Teddy you can rest."
"He's fine. Owen will be here any minute."
Just as she says that Owen comes in the door.
"Before we go, I want to tell you two that he's responding well to everything, and I have a feeling tomorrow is the day. The day we operate."
Teddy and Owen look at each other, then look at me and nod their head.
"So you ready to go?" Teddy says standing up from her chair.
"Well on that note, sure let's go." I smiled.
Entering the daycare, we show the daycare workers our badges and sign in.
"There she is." Teddy smiles.
Allison is playing with another little girl.
"That's Meredith's daughter, Ellis."
"Yeah, she looks just like Meredith."
As we play blocks with Allison and Ellis I notice a little boy. In the corner of my eye, I see him. Caleb. He's beautiful. He looks just like Mark, but I see Callie in his eyes and smile.
"You see him don't you." Teddy whispered.
"Yeah." I say quietly watching him.
"He's a real sweet talker just like Mark, but strong willed like Callie."
"Hi aunty Teddy." He says walking up hugging Teddy.
"Hey Sweetie."
"How's Leo?"
"He's doing okay."
"Daddy said he has the best doctor in the world and I shouldn't worry." He smiled. He has Callie's smile, and my heart just melts.
"Daddy's right. Leo does have the best doctor." Teddy smiled.
I stand there in awe, about how caring, and intelligent this young boy is.
"Caleb?" I hear Callie call.
"Mami!" He cheered running up to her.
God I can feel my heart melting. I always imagined her being a mom and now that I see her with him. Nothing could have possibly prepare me for this.
"Hey baby, everything okay?" She asked suspiciously looking at me.
"Yes mami, aunty Teddy was telling me about Leo."
"Yeah how is Leo?" Callie asked looking at Teddy ignoring me. Before Teddy can even answer her Caleb answers.
"He's got the best doctor Mami. Remember daddy said."
"I do." She smiled.
She's got this parenting down, pretending to be civil, as if I'm not the person who ruined her.
Finally he looks up at me, and he looks like he's studying me. The same face Callie makes when she's in deep thought.
"Are you a doctor too?"
"I am. I'm Dr. Robbins." I smiled.
"Honey, this is Leo's doctor." Callie says.
"You're the best doctor ever?" He says as if I hung the moon, letting go of Callie. He runs up and gives me a hug, and I instantly know I love him. I've always loved him. The moment Callie mentioned she was pregnant, I loved him.
"Umm.." I say a little caught of guard.
"She sure is." Teddy smiled. "Well we better be going now."
"See you later aunty Teddy, and Dr. Rob.. Robbi
"Dr. Robbins." Callie corrects.
"See you later Caleb." I smiled.
Walking out of the daycare, Teddy stops me.
"How was that?"
"He's perfect, Teddy. He's everything I ever imagined and more." I said honestly. We continue walking to the elevator.
"Arizona." Callie calls.
"I'll be in Leo's room." Teddy says entering the elevator.
Turning towards her direction I wait for her to come closer. "Yes?"
"So umm about Caleb.."
"He's adorable Callie. Very sweet and caring. You did a great job."
"Well I didn't do it on my own." She snapped. "Sorry..."
"It's okay. Is there something I can help you with?"
"No, I just.."
"Don't worry Callie. He doesn't know who I am. He was talking to Teddy the whole time."
"Okay." She says walking away from me.
Today, we operate on Leo. Entering the room, Teddy and Owen stand up.
"I'll be taking him down to the OR and I'll let you two stay with him until he falls asleep. Then after that I'll need you two to wait in the waiting room like every other parent. Alex here will give you updates every hour. Am I clear?"
"Yes." They both answered.
As Leo fell asleep, I turn to Teddy and Owen.
"We'll see you folks in 4 hours. I'll send Alex out when I can."
"Okay." Teddy says tearing up.
Once they exit, I take a deep breath, centering myself.
"Okay, everyone this boy means a lot to me, and everyone in this hospital. Let's get him home and to his parents."
The first hour was the hardest. I lost him twice.
"Alex go update the parents, tell them he's great."
"Dr. Robbins."
"I don't care Alex. Tell them he's fine. He's going to be fine."
Once Alex left the room, Leo flatlined.
Have I doubted my skills? Am I about to kill my best friends son. Looking up in the galleria, I see Callie. She's looking right at me.
She mouthed to me "You're Great."
Looking down I refocus,"Push one of epi!"
Nothing.
"Push .5 of epi..." Finally a heart beat. He's back.
"Okay, let's stabilize him, and we'll go back in." I ordered.
I got the tumor removed. All of it. I told Alex to let teddy and Owen know they are moving him to the PICU and they can visit him in the next hour. Dropping to the ground in the scrub room from exhaustion, and all the energy drained out of me, I drop my head down to my knees, and thank whoever it is upstairs or whatever higher power, that I did it.
"Arizona.." Owen calls out.
Standing up, I put my doctor face back on.
"Hey Owen. I resected all the tumor, but right now we have him sedated and will keep him on it for a few days maybe even a week to let his body rest and heal. We lost him a few times so his body went through a lot. But he's a fighter Owen. You and Teddy did great."
Owen picks me ups and gives me the biggest hug.
"Thank you, Arizona thank you."
"Don't thank me yet. We need to run a few test."
"I know, but just thank you. I know it can't be easy for you."
"I will always suck it up for a kid. After all he's my best friends son."
Sitting outside the hospital smoking a cigarette, trying to decompress my day.
"You know those will kill you." I hear the most angelic voice.
"Yeah, so I've been told." I chuckled as I took another drag before tossing it to ground.
"Arizona you did great. You saved Leo." She truly smiled.
"I don't know if I saved him, but his tumor is gone and after we run a few test then we'll know."
Quietness.
"Thank you for being there." Looking up from the bench pulling my jacket tighter, soothing me.
Callie nods her head, never saying a word.
"I'm sorry, I yelled at you yesterday." She whispered.
"Don't worry about it. You were protecting your son. Even though you didn't need too, but I get it." I smiled taking in how much she changed. She was always beautiful but this older, motherly look is really working for her.
"Well, I'm heading home, I need to pick up Caleb."
I know after seven years, I shouldn't feel like this but I do. Her first child was supposed to be from me, but that's life. Very unpredictable. So I just look at her and smile.
Sitting enjoying the quietness, I feel an arm on shoulder, looking up it's Bailey.
"Hey Miranda." I smiled.
"Webber wants to speak to you."
"Okay."
Walking through the catwalk to his office, I knock on the door.
"Come in."
"You wanted to speak to me chief?"
"Yes, please have a seat."
"Is everything okay?"
"Yes, so I'll just cut to the chase. I'm retiring next year and I want you to take my place."
"Umm excuse me?" I say caught off guard.
"Yes, I want you to be the new chief. You have the most experience out of anyone here. You know how to manage and run a clinic you can run a hospital."
"What about Miranda? She should be chief."
"She recommended you. Right now she wants to spend time with her children. She doesn't want anymore responsibilities."
"Oh I understand. Ummm.."
"You know, I know things what goes on in this hospital, but if you absolutely can't. I'll understand."
"Sir, it's not that I can't. It's just I run a two whole department in Baltimore. I don't think I could just leave that."
"I see, is that all you want to do, do you not want to further your career?"
Inside I'm happy, I never thought about becoming chief, but that would be the next step.
"Honestly I never thought about it, but I don't think I could do it."
"Is it because of Torres?"
"Yes and no. Being around her is hard, But I'm a pediatric and neonatal surgeon. There aren't much fetal surgeons in the country, I don't think I could give that up and become chief."
"That's true, but Arizona you don't need to stop practicing."
"You see, I don't know how true that is. How often do you do surgeries chief?"
"Well in the beginning not much, I had to learn every department. I had to learn budgeting, how to be a leader, how to have the department heads trust and respect me, but after that I did surgeries daily. Towards the last 5 or so years of my career, I haven't done much, mostly because of choice and I have the best surgeons."
"Can you give me a few days to think about it?"
"Of course. But Arizona a lot of those things I had to learn in the beginning you don't need to do. You know budgeting, you know how to lead. You're the best leader out there. Everyone already trust and respects you. So the hard part is done."
"Thanks chief." I say as I walk out the door.
"So you gonna take it?" Bailey says surprising me.
"Damnit Miranda, you scared me."
"Yeah, yeah. So are you gonna take it?"
"I asked him to give me a few days. So don't say anything."
"Of course not, my lips are sealed. Like a vault."
This morning we lowered Leo's sedation, so he should be waking up any minutes now.
Leo's eyes slowly flutter open, and he tries to start talking.
"Aunty Zona.." he croaked.
"Here drink some water first." I say as I place a straw by his mouth.
"Mommy, daddy?" He whispered.
"Hey big guy." Owen says to Leo.
"My baby, you're awake." Teddy smiles with tears in her eyes.
"I'll leave you folks for now, I will be in the office going over his scans from this morning. I'll page you to the conference room once I'm ready."
"Arizona thank you so much."
I nod my head and leave the room.
The scans came back for Leo's surgery and all the tumor is gone. I will have to consult with Dr.Swender.
Walking into the family conference room, I see Teddy and Owen sitting down holding hands. It's a nice sight to see. They look up at me and I smile at them and they instantly know that it's gone.
"So the tumor is gone. Nothing is left. I will have to consult with Dr. Swender on what we think the next best step should be."
"Thank you Arizona."
"For the next step, I won't be needed here. I can video conference in with Dr. Swender. I'll look at every chart. Just cause I won't be here physically, doesn't mean I won't be as involved. Also if you need anything. Well you have my number." I winked.
"Thank you so much."
"You don't need to thank me, it's my job." I smiled.
Soon the word has spread, that Leo's tumor is gone, and all day people have been congratulating me.
Sitting in the attending's lounge, Teddy comes up to me and takes a seat.
"Hey what are you doing here?"
"Well now that you saved my son, I want to ask you. Are you gonna take the job?"
"What job?" I asked disingenuous.
"I know Arizona, the chief asked Owen who he recommended and he said you."
"Oh well I don't think so."
"Why not?"
Deciding it's best to just be honest with my best friend.
"I can't see her everyday. It's too much Teddy. I've been here for about 3 weeks, and it just hurts to much to see her. To see the one person, I will always love no matter what, live her life with out me."
"Well why don't you just tell her."
"Tell her what? She can't stand me. Sure she was nice yesterday, but that's because she felt bad. Other than that every time she sees me she walks away."
"Tell her you still love her."
"What is that gonna do? She doesn't care Teddy. It was a long time ago. She's happy now. She's a mom. That's all she ever wanted."
"I don't think that's all she ever wanted."
"Well I came here for Leo. Not for her."
"And you helped Leo. He's gonna be fine. So maybe now you can focus on you."
"You're right. I think tonight I want to celebrate. Celebrate a great victory."
"Arizona-"
"No Teddy. Let's not talk about my past." I said standing up. "I'm gonna go to Joes and have a few. I'll see you folks in the morning."
Sitting at the bar, enjoying my cup of wine, I see her. She's talking to some women, with red hair.
"Hey Alex, who's that?"
"Who?" He said looking around. "Oh that's Penny. She's an intern. Definitely got the hots for Torres."
"Oh and is Callie into her?"
"Umm from what I heard, I think she's trying to be into her, she's never really been with anyone since you left."
"Really? I always thought she would be with someone."
"What about you? Did you ever date since you left?"
"Me, no ways. Relationships were never for me. The one time I decided to try. I fucked it up. Looked what happened to us." I chuckled.
Joe walks over and places another cup of wine in front of me. "I didn't order this?" I said calling Joe for his attention.
"I know, it's from that women over there at the end of the bar."
"Oh, umm thanks." I smile lifting the wine up to show her thanks.
"You should hit that." Alex whispered in my ear.
"No ways Alex. I can't."
"Why not she's hot?" He says as if it's the most easiest thing in the world, and before I can answer him, I feel a tap on my shoulder.
"Hey would you like to dance?"
It's been years since I danced. Honestly after todays victory, I wouldn't mind letting lose.
"Sure."
She takes my hand and pulls me to the dance floor, I'm trying my best to not think about Callie, but enjoy this moment. As the song comes to an end, we walk back to the bar.
"So I heard things about you?"
"Oh yeah, like what?" I flirted.
"You're a legend you know."
"Oh am I?" I laughed. "What's this legend you speak of?"
"That you're the best pediatric surgeon in the country. Which you are."
"Oh you work at the hospital."
"I do, my names Colleen and I'm an Ortho nurse."
"Oh fuck." I whispered glancing at Callie, who looks like she's about to cry. I watch Callie stand up and run to the bathroom.
"Hey thanks for the drinks, but umm I gotta go." I say rushing out of my seat.
Opening the bathroom door, I see her standing in the exact same place she was when I met her all those years ago.
"Callie." I whispered.
"What do you want? Why don't you go and talk to Colleen."
"I didn't know she worked at the hospital. I didn't know she was an Ortho nurse."
"It doesn't matter anyways. We're not together. You can screw whoever you want Arizona."
"Screw whoever I want? What are you talking about? All I did was dance with her."
"Whatever."
"I don't need to explain myself to you, but I will. I had a major victory today, and all I wanted to do was celebrate. So I went out for a few drinks. Carol bought me a drink then asked me to dance. So I said yes."
I hear Callie chuckle a little.
"What's so funny?"
"Her names Colleen."
"Whatever. Colleen asked me. So I said yes."I said irritated.
We're both quiet for a moment.
"Why'd you run away? Were you jealous?" I teased.
"No, why would I be jealous of her?" Callie snapped.
"Because you ran away, and told me to go screw her. That's something a jealous person would say."
"You can Arizona. You can screw her, just go."
"Hey relax, it was just a joke, Callie."
"Well you suck at jokes."
"Yeah, you've told me before."
"So really what's bothering you?" I say leaning against the sink.
"You."
"Me?"
"Of course, nobody bothers me as much as you do."
"Why?"
"I can't stand you, I can't stand seeing you." She says looking me straight in my eyes as if those words didn't hurt.
"Don't you worry, I'm leaving soon." I say pissed off.
"I know, its what you do." She says aloofly as she walked out the door.
"So did you hear?" Mark says taking a seat on the couch in the attending's lounge.
"Hear what?" Callie says putting away her things in her locker.
"That the chief offered Arizona his position."
Slamming my locker shut I look at him. "Are you serious? Arizona as chief?"
"Yes. Apparently blondie is the best, and we all know she is." Marks says offhandedly.
"So..."
"So what?"
"Is she gonna take it Mark? You know everything so is she gonna take it?"
"From what I hear, she said no."
"Good." I say folding my arms trying to convince myself that it is good, but deep down I'm hurt. Why? Maybe I was a little hopeful that the person I love might chose me, but why would she? She never did.
"Is it good?" Mark says with an eyebrow up.
"Of course, I'm beyond happy that she helped Leo, but I'm glad she's leaving. Her being here brought up so many emotions. Emotions.."
"Emotions you thought was gone."
"Mark, I don't want to talk about this with you."
"Look Torres, we share a son, so you can share anything with me. You know that. I'm always here for you."
"I know Mark. I know your Caleb's dad, but.."
"You always wanted a child with her. I know Torres. It doesn't hurt my feelings. I know you love her, I know she was always it for you. That's why I'm saying she's here. You should talk to her before she leaves."
"No." I said adamantly. "I can't. She hurt me and it's not just me anymore."
"Our son adores her. You know she would never hurt a child. Our child."
"Mark, for years, I couldn't stop imagining what she was doing. If I closed my eyes, I could still feel her lips against mines. I could still smell her. I could still feel her arms around me, then I couldn't stop imagining all the other people who might be in her arms. Just every other person but me."
Mark stands up and opens the door, "Walk tall."
"Huh?" I say putting the coffee pot down.
"All you can do is be brave enough to get out there, you fought, you loved, you lost. Walk tall, Torres." He said walking out the door.
"Hey chief, I just wanted to let you know, that I handed Leo's case over to Dr. Swender. She will be taking over patient care."
"Amazing job with the Leo. We all love him. So have you thought about my offer?"
"Yes, I have and I'm sorry it's a great offer, but I don't think I can do it."
"Arizona. I understand that you and Torres have history."
Out of everyone I figured he'd be the last one to speak to me about Callie. Still upset about our fight, I don't want to talk about.
"Chief, I can't. I don't wanna talk about this."
"I understand you aren't in the mood for a lecture."
Standing up, I walk to the door.
"Robbins wait! Are you done?"
With my hand on the door knob, I look at him "Huh?"
"Are you done running away from her?"
"I'm not running away Webber. There's nothing to run away from."
"When you left the first time Torres was hurt and mad. She wouldn't talk to anybody. She kept to herself and stayed in her lab. But the second time you left she was broken. She tried her best to be happy about having a baby but we all knew she was hurting. We all understand why you left. I'm sure most people would've if they were you."
"Webber.."
"Forgiveness is a powerful thing Arizona.. Not only to make the other person feel good, but to heal you. You need to forgive her, Arizona. Forgive her for sleeping with Mark, for choosing Mark at her lowest. Just enough to remind you that she isn't perfect, and she's human. You see you were putting expectations on her. You expected her to be waiting for you. You expected her to be strong as if you didn't hurt her. It's not her fault. You need to forgive her. You don't have to be with her, you don't have to like her. But forgive her. So you can move forward. So you can forgive Sloan for being there for her when you couldn't. When that one decision to leave her that day in the airport cost you what could have been your family. To forgive yourself for hating her for sleeping with Mark. To forgive yourself for leaving her. Let it go Arizona, and forgive."
"Chief.." I whispered with tears rolling down my face.
"You don't need to decide today. I'll give you till the end of the month.
Saying my goodbyes to all my friends, and promises to come visit, I head back to my hotel room. Sitting on the couch in the dark. I think about everything Richard shared with me. He's right I didn't forgive her, I didn't forgive Mark. I'm holding on to so much anger, anger that I've buried.
Waking up the next day, I take a walk to the park, that we both loved so much. I spent hours, thinking about all the great times we had together. Something I never did before. All I focused on was the hurt and anguish, but today this is different.
I decide to call my chief at John Hopkins.
"Hello?"
"Hi chief McChale, it's Arizona Robbins."
"I was waiting for your call."
"You were?"
"So are you putting in your two weeks?"
"My two weeks what are you talking about?"
"Chief Webber already called me. He told me that he offered you his position, and honestly he couldn't have chose a better candidate."
"I didn't accept it." I whispered.
"Arizona, you know opportunities like this never come around, you don't wanna spend the rest of your life regretting passing this up."
"You think I should do it?"
"Of course."
"I'm scared."
"Scared of what?"
"Scared I'll fail."
"You will fail, but then you'll learn, and then you'll never do it again. Being chief isn't easy. Only a few people have it built in them, and you Arizona it's in you. You just have to let it out."
"Okay."
"You're gonna do it?"
"Yes, I'm gonna do it."
"Good, cause if you weren't gonna take it I was gonna fire you." He chuckled.
Hanging up, I text Chief Webber that I need to set an appointment with him tomorrow. Sitting on the bench looking at the space needle, I feel okay. A feeling I never felt in years.
That night, I hear knocking on my door, that must be my room service. Opening it up I'm met with the one person I never thought It would be.
"So you're leaving again? Just like that. Never saying a word to me!" Callie snaps.
"Cal.."
"Typical Arizona leaving again."
"Woah, what's going on why would it matter to you anyway?" I asked confused.
"Was I nothing to you?"
"Excuse me?" I snapped.
"No really Arizona, sure you left me in an airport and then you came home, but then you left me again, but that time for good with out saying anything to me."
"What was I supposed to say?! Huh? You just told me you were pregnant. Was I supposed to congratulate you? I was only gone for 4 months, when you fucked Mark."
"Fuck you Arizona!"
"Whatever Callie." I say exhausted. "I won the most prestigious award in the medical field, but that didn't matter to you. You were mad and grouchy. I knew you didn't want to go. Why would I force you to do that.."
"Because I loved you, I would've done anything for you."
"We can go back and forth all day, and nothing will change. I fucked up and left you, I'm well aware of that. So when you told me you were pregnant and that's all you ever wanted, I knew I had to let you go."
"Well letting me go wasn't a hardship. Considering you left me twice."
"I didn't just leave you Callie, you literally said you were pregnant with Mark's baby. But it wasn't just what you said, it was how you said, like you knew it would hurt me, and you know what it did."
"So you just left? You didn't even fight for me."
"Fight for you? I waited outside your door for weeks and everytime you told me, to get out of here. There's nothing for you here. You didn't want me. You're happier now. Go back to Africa. I followed you around the hospital. Hell I trapped you into a surgery, and that was wrong of me, but you didn't want anything to do with me. Then you telling me you were pregnant. Well that was it. I was all fought out. You and Mark always wanted to be parents and well now you are. So go be happy." I sat breathlessly.
"I always wanted that with you." She whispered.
"Well, it's too late now. So just continue to be happy. I'm sorry if me being here has upset you, but I had too." I say honestly walking away.
"How do you do it?"
"Do what?"
"Walk away, you do it so easily and effortlessly."
"You think walking away is easy?"
"Yup." Callie says crossing her arms.
"Well it fucking ain't. You think it's easy for me to come back here? Well it fucking ain't. You think it's easy for me to walk through those hallways? Well it's not. You think it's easy for me to operate in the OR, the exact OR I fell in love with you in? Well it's not. You think it's easy for me to go on those elevators, knowing that the was the last time I ever seen you? Well it fucking ain't Callie. Nothing about you is fucking easy! It will never be easy!"
We both don't say anything.
"Arizona.."
"No, just let it go already... you're better for it. Just be happy."
"Why couldn't you have just tried?"
"Tried? I couldn't. I could never be apart of that, you made a family without me Callie."
"No, I made a baby with out you. Mark isn't my boyfriend or husband. Caleb is my family and Mark is his father."
"Don't you think I know that. Of course he's his father. You don't need to remind me. Everything is about Mark. Mark this.. Mark that. I was sick of it then and I'm even more sick of it now." I say honestly.
"So you're just gonna go back to Hopkins?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"Because I built a life there."
"I heard Webber offered you chief of surgery."
"Ummm.. you heard about that?" I asked shocked that she knew that.
"Yeah, I heard about it, everyone knows about it Arizona. So are you gonna take it?"
"No, I can't. Being around you is too much, what I've been here like a month and we're always fighting every single time."
"So you ain't gonna take it because of me?"
"What do you want me to say?"
"I don't know.." Callie says crying.
"You know when I left the second time, I actually did go back to Africa. I stayed my three years."
"I know."
"You do?"
"You think that night at the bar, was the first time I found out about you going back to Africa, I didn't just forget about you like you did with me." She accused.
"Cal-"
"I sawthe articles of you. I didn't want to read any of it, but my conscious got the better of me. Seeing you in the pictures with all the kids wasn't easy. I imagined you with me taking care of Caleb, but you weren't. You were living your dreams."
"Callie I don't think you understand what you were asking me to do, or not even asking me. You just laid it on me and walked away."
"Well it's not like you said anything. You were standing there."
"I was trying to process what just happened, you walked away also. You left. So I figured you chose Mark."
"It was always you. I can't love anyone else because it's you Arizona. I can't stand that it's you but it just is!"
"Callie, you wanted me to raise a kid with you. A kid that you made with the one person you knew I despised more than anyone in the world. You would have to be blind to not see that. I don't think I could have done that. Not at that time."
"Arizona..."
I'm so tired of fighting her on this, I know no matter what I would forever love her.
"Do you remember what happened that day?" I snapped.
"What day?"
"The day the shooter came into the hospital. You told me that I dismissed your dreams of having kids, that I didn't give a rat's ass. That you didn't understand squat about me. You think I wanted to leave you? I didn't Callie, but I figured this was it, it's time to let her go. In some way this was me giving you, your dreams."
"Arizona.."
"It was a long time ago. I don't see why we keep fighting about this."
Quietness. Nothing. Callie sits there and thinks about what I just said.
"I thought maybe after you finished those years that you would come back, but after a while I knew you wouldn't. Eventually you cut off communication with anyone and everyone here."
"It's the only way I knew how to go on. I didn't just stop thinking about you. I always thought about you, and not just you. I thought about how your child was. If the baby looked like you. If he had the best medical care when he was born."
"I know that nobody is the good guy in this situation, and we both royally messed this relationship up. But I can't take it back, I don't regret it."
"That's good, I wouldn't want you to regret it." I say honestly.
"So what? Is this it? Do you not feel the same way about me anymore? Are we a lost cause?" She says pointing between us.
"Callie. I can't.."
"Do you love me?" Callie says taking a step towards me.
"Callie.."
"Answer the question, Arizona."
"Yes of course." I say watching her come closer and closer.
"Do you still have feelings for me?"
"What do you think?" I asked trying to keep my heart rate in tact.
"I think you do, I think you still feel that connection. If anything it's stronger than before. So do you? Do you feel it?"
"Callie, you know I do, but we can't just..."
"Just what, Arizona? When you see me, do you not want to just hold me, and kiss me?" She is two feet away from me.
"Callie, what are you doing?"
"Answer the question Arizona." She says breathlessly.
Closing my eyes trying to retain as much self control as possible. "Yes."
"Open your eyes."
Opening them, I see her right in front of me.
"Why are you afraid of me Arizona?
"You think I'm afraid of you? No, you're wrong. I'm absolutely terrified of you." I finally admitted.
She takes another step closer.
"Callie, if you come any closer, I don't think I could control myself." I whispered.
"Good I don't want you to control yourself." She says straddling me.
Feeling her breast and her hot core against me has me on the verge of losing everything.
"I want you Arizona, please."
"Calliope." Grabbing the back of her head, I pulled her in for a searing kiss. The moment I said her name, I knew it was over.
Running my tongue across her bottom lip asking for permission, which Callie happily grants. God she still taste so good. Standing us up, I grab the bottom of Callie shirt pulling it off. My hand goes to her bra taking it off. Everything is happening so fast, that I have her back on my bed. Kissing from her lips to her jawline.
"God you're still so fucking gorgeous." I growled into her ear, while grinding my cock against her core.
"Arizona please." Callie cried rolling her hips against me trying to feel any type of release.
"Patience baby." I said leaving open mouth kisses down her collar bones to her sensitive erect nipples. If anything she's even more addicting then I remembered. Callie reaches for my shirt and pulls it over my head. She slides her hand down my abs to drawstring to my sweats. Kicking them off I'm left with just my boxers on. Rolling us over Callie sits on top of me. Running her nails up and down my abdomen causing me to shiver.
"After seven years how is possible that your still so fucking hard and sexy." She growled kissing her way down my breast and licking every single ab. Finally she pulls down my boxers and out springs my cock. Callie grabs it and pumps it a few times, precum drips from my cock which Callie quickly licks.
"Fuckkkk." I said with my eyes closed enjoying what she's doing to me. Intertwining my fingers through her hair, watching her mouth go up and down on me, hitting the back of her throat.
"God you're so good at that. Your mouth feels incredible."
"Mhmm." She moans.
"Come here." I groaned not wanting to buss my load in her mouth. "I need you up here." I said pulling at her hair.
Callie stops what she's doing and crawls her way up to my face, I can feel her wet pussy against my cock. We continue kissing, as if this is the only right thing in this world, and in this moment it is. Rolling us over, for she's on her back. I kiss my way down to her breast and lick my way down her stomach, skipping the one place that she wants me then to her inner thighs. Placing her legs over my shoulder, I begin licking my way closer and closer.
"Arizona, I need you. Stop teasing me." She groaned.
"What do you want me to do?" I say blowing on her clit while looking into her dark brown eyes.
"I want you to eat me, and fuck me." She says as she bites the corner of her bottom lip.
Spreading her drenched lips a part I latch on sucking and flicking her clit. Sliding my right hand up to her breast, I pinch her erect nipples.
"Yes, yes, just like that." Callie moaned.
Lapping up as much as I can, I thrust two fingers inside of her.
"Oh fuck!!!" Callie cries out as she grabs onto the bedsheets. Looking up, she's more beautiful then I could remember. Man I missed her looking at me like this. As if I was the only person that mattered. Thrusting deep inside of her, I find her spot. Never letting up.
"Ari...Arizona." She gasped. "I'm cumming!!!"
Licking her slowly, I remove my hand letting her ride out her orgasm as much as she can. Wiping my mouth, I give her a smirk, and a lifted eyebrow.
"Don't be so smug." She laughed.
God I missed that laugh so much.
"Come here." She demands and who am I to not give her what she wants. I always have and more than likely I always will.
Laying on my back, Callie sits up and grabs my cock, and slides it between her pussy, rubbing herself. Taking in her beauty, her long black hair, her sexy lust filled eyes down to her breast bouncing up and down, to her flat abdomen. Her perfect curves. God how could I have ever leave her.
"Calliope.." I said breathlessly.
"Yes?" She whispered.
"You're so beautiful."
"Thank you." She panted.
Grabbing on the base of my cock, I hold it as she slowly glides down. God she still fucking tight, right when I know she almost in, I thrust my hips up, filling her completely.
"Fuuuuck..."She screamed.
Grabbing on to her hips, I let her set the pace she wants. Watching her ride me was always my favorite, what those hips can do, is unbelievable. She begins riding me faster, grinding her hips up and down, giving me so much pleasure.
"Yes, Calliope, fucking ride me." I said as I watched me enter her over and over again, thrusting up, I meet her thrust for thrust going deeper and deeper into her, I can hear our body connecting.
"Baby, you're so deep." She cried, letting me fuck her with all I got. "You feel so good, so deep inside me." Feeling her squeezing me tighter and tighter, I know she close. I pull her down so she's directly on top of me and roll us over so I'm now on top. Lifting both legs up I spread them far apart, and continue fucking her. She's so fucking wet. You can hear it.
"Who makes you this wet?"
"You, baby. Only you." She answers.
"You like when I'm so deep inside of you?" I asked fucking her so hard. Callie can't answer me she just nods her head vigorously. I'm pounding her so deep that she has to push herself off the headboard so she doesn't hit it. So I pull out of her, and pull her to edge of the bed. Entering her again, she wraps her legs around my waist and pulls me deep into her. I watch as she rides me in this position. I know that we're both close and that I could blow my load any moment.
"Arizona, im.. gonna.. cum.." she cried.
Right when she comes, I let go and cum deep inside of her. Catching my breath, I slowly pull out of her, and I grab the towel besides me and clean both of us off.
We both don't say anything in this moment. I go to the bathroom and discard the towel. Looking the mirror I see all the bite marks that she has left. Putting on a robe, I hear her call me.
"Arizona." She calls out.
"Yes?" I say walking back into the room, handing her a robe, that she gladly takes.
"I don't know what to say." She says honestly sitting on the edge of the bed.
Laying on the bed, I open my arms. "Don't say anything. Just come here."
"I missed you." I said honestly for the first time, with tears in my eyes. Finally letting myself feel everything. Callie looks up and kisses my lips. So soft and tender.
"I missed you too. So much." She says against my lips.
Pulling apart, we look at each other and for some reason we know this is different. It's not fast, it's not haste. It's perfect.
"Arizona..."
"Calliope, I'm not leaving. I'm accepting Webbers offer."
"Really?" She says smiling at me.
"Yes, I umm called my Chief at Hopkins to talk to him about it, but funny enough he already knew."
"Webber." Callie laughed.
"Yeah, he talked to him already." I yawned.
"Maybe I should let you rest." Callie says sitting up.
"No, please stay." I begged not wanting to sound needy.
"Okay."
Waking up the next day with Arizona in my arms was amazing. I never thought that last night would've ever happened. I know there's a lot more we need to work on, but I'm sure we will get there. Wait does she even want to be with me? I know she loves me, but does she want me. Will she accept Caleb even though he's not hers?
"I can hear you thinking all the way from here." Arizona groaned waking up from her sleep.
"Arizona."
"Wait let's drink coffee before we talk. I know there's a lot more we need to talk about."
I nod agreeing with her.
"I have an extra toothbrush, in the drawer." Arizona calls out.
Always prepared, nothings changed. I quietly chuckled.
I go to her bathroom and change into my clothes from the night before. Not wanting to be so exposed while having this convo. After brushing my teeth I head back outside, Arizona is dressed with two cups of coffee.
"So..."
"Calliope, before we jump into this conversation, I want you to know that I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry for everything, but I also want you to know that I forgive you. I forgive you for everything."
In this moment, I had no idea how much I needed to hear those words.
"Arizona, thank you for that. I'm sorry too for everything ma do forgive you too." Callie says with tears in her eyes. "Arizona what about Caleb? He's a part of me. "
"I know you have a son, and you're worried about me with him. I don't blame you, but I knew I love him. The moment you told me you were pregnant seven years ago I loved him Callie. I knew this baby would be perfect. Even if he wasn't from me. Then that day, in the day care, I seen him and then I heard him talking to Teddy about how he cared so much about his friend. I couldn't stop thinking wow, he's so much like his mother. The way you and him interact was exactly how I pictured you'd be. So attentive, so loving. I could feel my hear exploding Callie. I know these are all words, but I will prove it to you."
Nothings change, Arizona knows exactly how I think.
"I loved everything you just said, and you're right. It's gonna take a long time for me to trust you, not just with him, but with me."
"I understand that, but you need to also know that goes both ways. I wasn't lying when I said you terrify me. You do Callie. You have such a huge heart. I know I wouldn't be able to handle losing you again, but more importantly I don't think I could handle hurting you again."
"So what are you saying?"
"I'm saying we give this another go. I'm saying I still love you, I'm saying that even after seven years, I still chose you."
"I chose you too Arizona." I say leaning forward pecking her lips.
Epilogue
3 years later.
"Aunty Zona." Leo yelled.
"Hey squirt." Arizona smiled walking into his room for his annual check up.
"So Swender and I went over his scans and his tumor is gone. It's safe to say that Leo is officially cancer free."
"Thank you so much, Arizona." Teddy said hugging me.
"No, thank you. I owe you everything." Arizona says honestly to her best friend.
"How about we call it even?" Owen joked.
"Yes we are even."
"Tonight we'll have a dinner. Tell the wife." Teddy says sending a text out to all our friends.
"Sounds good, I'll let her know. I'll see you folks later."
"Hey chief." Callie said walking into her wife's office, taking a seat on the couch.
"What can I do for you Dr. Torres?" Arizona chuckled, looking up from her paperwork.
"Nothing, just checking out the most hottest Chief" Callie teased. "But also I heard that tonight there's a dinner at Teddy's since my hot shot wife saved her son." She says proudly.
"Oh yeah hot shot huh?"
"Arizona you know you're the best, but let's not blow up that big head of yours." She joked. "But right now my feet are killing me."
Walking over Arizona takes the seat next to Callie, "Here put your feet on my lap. I'll massage them."
"No, they stink, I just finished my last surgery." Callie says clearly exhausted.
"I don't care. You're my wife. Plus I'm sure those two aren't the easiest to carry. After all they're Robbins."
"That you're right about." Callie says rubbing her belly, as she puts her feet on my lap.
"So how was it? How does it feel not being able to surgery for awhile?"
"It feels good. Is it bad of me to say, I've been counting the days for when these two are born." Callie moans enjoying me massaging her feet.
"No, it's understandable babe." Arizona smiled enjoying watching her pregnant wife. Callie was always attractive to Arizona, but a pregnant Callie. Well let's just say Arizona couldn't take her hands off of her.
"I just wanna go home, but I need to pick up Caleb."
"Just go, I'll grab him. Rest before we go to Teddy and Owen's tonight. I'm just about done and also I promised I'd take him out for ice cream for getting straight A's."
"You need to stop promising him sweets." Callie scolds.
"What should I promise that I'll buy him carrots. What kind of incentive is that Calliope? No kid is gonna get good grades for a carrot." Arizona teased.
"Fine, you're right." Callie says standing up. "You're such a smart ass."
"Well you chose me." Arizona laughed.
"True, and I'll keep choosing you, even if our children lose all their teeth to candy." Callie laughed standing up. "I'll see you two at home."
"We'll be there. I love you."
"I love you too."
Packing up my work bag, I look at my desk and it's filled with pictures of Callie and I. Along with our son. Even pictures of Mark when we go on our annual family vacation. My family.