Tulip Jones is finally retiring. Someone gets the bright idea to promote Britain's top agent into the role. Alex is a disaster zone waiting to happen.

Alex is minding his own business in the library and checking out a book for his biology assignment. Well, that went out the window because he ran into Doctor fucking Three.

Magic Plant Growing! Alex/Flower Shop AU! Alex has decided that his life goal is owning a flower shop.

Alex orders his groceries online. The lady doing the deliveries gets more and more concerned about who this 18-year old is and what their life is.

Alex Rider decides that stabbing Alan Blunt with his steak knife is more appealing than a career in espionage. This gets him sent to Gibraltar and eventually he makes his way to Scorpia. Mildly cracked!Alex. Mentor! Nile and Yassen. Gordon can't stop laughing. For Jasmineskies.

Alex gets sent undercover at a commercial bee farm to investigate the suspicious substances that seem to have been slipped into the supply. Can he solve the mystery before it gets sticky?

Alex is not, in fact, wanting to do mandatory fun with his classmates. Guys, he's fourteen, I don't think he's allowed into a strip club.

Alex yeets away from society, intending to live out the rest of his life in the woods. Little did he know, the woods contain more than animals. The Erlking was always fond of hunters.

Damien Cray crack fic. There's a crack fic in there where Cray finds out about the drug dealer Alex drops on a police station and tries to hire him."I'm trying to eliminate drug use across the world!" Alex: "You know...that doesn't sound too bad." Yassen just stares in horror when he sees a slightly manic, happy looking Alex when he gets sent there.

Alex is stuck in a cell with Nile. It's going well...NOT. Alex is sorely tempted to smother the man with a pillow.

An incredibly drunk man appears out of what seems to be a portal in thin air, just in time to save the lives of John and Helen Rider. He proceeds to throw up all over the couple, a public monument, and himself, then passes out. After a quick DNA test, the Riders drag their now nineteen-year-old son back with them to meet his one-year-old self. Meanwhile, Smithers tries to figure...

Prompt: Dark! Alex. Alex decides to follow a family tradition after Ian's death. Every family has a murderer or two in it. Altered Prompt. Gratuitous violence. Unreliable narrator!

Prompt: Coffee shop AU! Alex is a barista. Someone should really tell these motherfuckers to get more sleep.

Prompt: Damien Cray decided to drown a dude in fucking pennies. The janitor is NOT getting paid enough for this oiled and bloodstained pennies BS.

Jones is ready to leave Alex to the wolves. Planning to throw him under the bus, and suffer the consequences. But, Ben has other ideas. Intending on keeping a promise made what seemed like a lifetime ago, Ben is going to fight tooth and nail to get is kid back. Lost and Found rewrite. Irregular updates

Prompt: Alex adopts a snow leopard that he names Snuggles. Absolutely nobody wants to snuggle that fucker except him. And maybe Nile.

When Alex's next mission to infiltrate and gather information from a local marshmallow factory goes wrong, he runs into a familiar face as he tries to make his escape. A standalone sequel to Cym's amazing Cloudy Mallows (or: Alex Rider and the Marshmallow Factory) on AO3!

One shot where Alex literally walks into Mrs. Jones' office to paint it her favorite color and the Head of security thinks he's trying to kill her, again.

Alex was just trying to study at the cafe with his best mate, Tom, when he looks out the window and see's a man being aggressive towards a woman. Motioning outside to Tom as he brings their drinks over, Tom looks and asks "Is that Mrs. Jones!" The next thing Tom knows is Alex is outside pulling the startled man back, just seconds before the man could lay a finger on the Director.

After Jack's death, Alex had little direction in his life. Paranoia and unease rule his life. He can trust no one—even when they pretend to have his best interests in mind. And, after nearly six months… it appears that things might finally be settling down. Yet, with Alex, peace is an impossibility—because someone is always looking for him.

Set after SR. After Jack's death, Alex goes to live with the Pleasures. But when his past catches up with him and puts the Pleasures in danger, what decisions will he make as he begins a journey to becoming a full-fledged agent, learning to truly embrace that identity? Rating may change.

Created for the SpyFest 2021 Christmas Fic Exchange. For BlueberryLibrary. Prompt: the annual SCORPIA executive board white elephant gift exchange. Crack! Nobody likes their gifts! Special thanks to Pongnosis for her writing help!

Alex sometimes felt as though his life always followed the same pattern. Mission. Capture. Escape. Repeat. That if he were a cartoon character, at least once an episode he would be sprawled out on the floor with a lump protruding from the top of his head and stars dancing around him. This time was different. All he had were questions. He had to find the answers…

The warehouse scene from Yassen's POV. *Spoilers for S2 Episode 3*

"Alex is a child, he is young and vulnerable" Joe Byrne breathed a sigh of relief, at least Mrs Jones was on his side. "but that is exactly why we need him." Pyotr Anatolievich is a Russian diplomat living in Miami. He's just murdered one of the CIA's best and youngest operatives. Joe Byrne needs a solution. A solution that comes in the reluctant form of Alex Rider.